2023-04-05-Gil-Locations for Awareness (3 of 5) Inside Awareness

3:51AM Apr 7, 2023

Speakers:

Gil Fronsdal

Keywords:

feel

awareness

aware

intimate

distance

knowing

situations

intimacy

emotions

present

step

soft cotton

settle

aloof

sensations

difficult

staying

head

connected

imagine

So here we are at the third talk, having to do with the locations for awareness or the different locations for awareness. And it's one thing to be aware, to one thing to be mindful. And know that that's there's an only know one way to be mindful, one way to be aware. But how we're aware. And where we're where we are aware from can be a choice and can be variable can be different. And to be aware, to be able to have some, you know, a range of How to Be aware. And then to be able to adjust how we're aware, depending on the circumstances we're in, is so important. Because if we only have one way to be aware, in some circumstances, that way of being aware, is not doesn't serve us. It doesn't really work. And so if we only aware, intimately, the feelings and the emotions of what's happening. And we're feeling our own suffering or other people's suffering, and might feel overwhelming. But if we can be aware, not through feeling and sensing, but be aware, in the mind's eye, or in the knowing mind, when I said, stepping back and having the bird's eye view of it, then the impact of the emotions that we have, might not be as difficult as if we're living in them. But then sometimes if we're to distance and observing from the head or from the hillside far away, like I talked about yesterday, then it might be too aloof and not connected. Sometimes it helps to connect that way. And sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes if we're a lot in our head thinking about things, and we don't feel what's going on for others or really ourselves, then it's useful to know this way of being present intimately. And as we become more intimate, we generally come in closer to where the sensations are. And sensations are closely also where emotions are and how they're felt. And there's two ways of being intimate coming in close. One is like, like there's, you know, two things touch each other. And sometimes I've given people the instructions to let awareness be like a soft, soft cotton gauze, soft cotton bowl ball. And if there's a lot of very difficult things inside pain or as difficult emotions, imagine that awareness is a soft cotton ball that just gently taps against the difficulty, and then pulls away, comes close and taps and pulls away. And then then we're there to acknowledge we feel we make space for how it actually is and really, you know, commit contact, so we're present, but we don't overdo it by staying there too long. And knowing how to pull back and be a little bit further away. makes room for something to discharge on. Ravel settle for some confidence to be built. To begin feeling that we have some agency with what's going on we're not have to just be aware in one way and it's stuck there. So this ability to kind of come close to them pull away come close and pull away and then sometimes just be right there being really present. Sometimes that intimacy is even deeper, where we are going inside the experience and inside the emotions in a sense or inside the physical sensations we're having. And from you know, to penetrate it inside it's almost like we knocking at the door we push the door gently and it opens up and we able to step inside and and and what that does is it's kind of like a pen kind of like from the outside of the you know outside it just seems like things are covered. It seems like a single single object. But if you unwrap it and go inside And then they find out there's many presents inside, there's many factors of sensations, things going on inside of it. And that can be true even in a little square centimeter of pain or, or tightness or warmth, or pleasure that we feel that it's possible actually to kind of almost feel like you're going, you're not staying in the surface of it making contact, but you're actually going into it, as are feeling what's in the inside there and really sense it and feel it. And that's true. With ourselves as well. With awareness, awareness can be awkward, as I've been trying to say, this week, can be variable, where, where, how we're aware of where we're where from, we can be in the head, we can be in, you know, more distant and aloof. We could also discover where does it feel most intimate, where's the innermost place, where there is awareness, knowing deepest places of sensing ourselves, and the deepest place of intimacy. And, and to settle in there, to rest in there and feel that takes time to feel it and get to know it and let it expand and spread through the body. And then to know, from there, maybe the breathing will help here, because you can breathe with it, and through it, and into it, as a way of staying connected. So just come close to the experience, to sense it. And, and that could be, you know, on everyday life experiences, where it's kind of at the kind of the largest life level, where you're at a difficult situation. And you stay in, stay connected for a while, and then you choose to leave a while to regroup, and then you come back, you go to distance and watch the whole situation with distance. And then you come back, if people at work or as a team kind of working and hard and hot and trying to figure something out. And, and you're part of that kind of, you know, in the intensity of people huddling together and not managing to figure out what's going on, or some difficulty, find some way to step away and look at it from a distance. See if that regroups you and gives you a different perspective and a different way of coming back and joining and participating. In many social situations, I think it's a useful skill is to step outside and get some fresh air and then come back in. So they're gonna hear we have this intimacy, no, we're close, close in. And then we learn how to step away. One, one place that people allow you to step away, is you excuse yourself saying I need to go to the bathroom. And most people are not going to question what you're doing in the bathroom, what you're doing is you're going to breathe, you're going to meditate sitting, you know, on the toilet or not using it, but just just there's a place to chill. So in all kinds of circumstances, this art of coming in close, feeling it, being with it, and then learning how to step away, and then finding the right balance and finding out what's the right distance. Sometimes the right distance might be not as far away as you could be. But it could be kind of, you know, it's like, like personal space. How much personal space do you need around people, if they can come into your personal space, and it feels like it's too much. Some situations, it's good to be three feet away, someone who could be 10 feet away, where's the right distance, where it allows you to be more settled and present in a useful way. And the same principle applies then to the inner awareness, inner knowing and mindfulness, that we can adjust how we're aware and when we're really intimate and when we're not so intimate when we're feeling it. And when we're more cognitively knowing it, which is most useful in different situations, different ones are useful. So then repeating myself but it's such an important point.

If you're only know how to be aware, one way, then sooner or later that one way is not appropriate. That one way is not going to be helpful or useful. It might actually be difficult or cause more problems, because some circuits or some situations, feeling what's happening is not really the best thing to do. So their situation it is the best To do some flat times being more in the head, maybe even observing or thinking about knowing it in some cognitive way, is the best thing to do. And sometimes it's not that good thing to do. And sometimes being far away imagining you're kind of from a distance. And so all these different ways of knowing and locations of knowing, so for today. And if you can if you want to try intimacy, try what it's like to really be in touch with things. And maybe even imagine you're actually going into it. It could be something even as simple as eating your food. What would it mean to be intimate with your food, rather than eating while you're listening to the news or something? And what's it like to be intimate with sitting in a chair? What's the what how would that feel here, intimacy? Well, how would it be? What's intimacy, like in meditation? What's a certain kind of intimacy, that doesn't cross an appropriate lines, certain kind of knowing awareness, intimacy, as you're listening to her friend, they don't have to know that you're feeling intimate. But what's a way of being really there and feet touching, feeling what's happening internally, so you're really feel connected? And so, intimacy, so thank you. And, and we'll kind of continue and it'll build on this tomorrow. And I hope that you kind of get to appreciate playing around with awareness, and mindfulness and knowing and sensing and begin living in the playground of these things. Thank you