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Hey, I'm John. And I'm Becky. And this is the We Are For Good podcast.
Nonprofits are faced with more challenges to accomplish their missions and the growing pressure to do more, raise more and be more for the causes that improve our world.
We're here to learn with you from some of the best in the industry, bringing the most innovative ideas, inspirational stories, all to create an Impact Uprising.
So welcome to the good community. We're nonprofit professionals, philanthropist, world changers and rabid fans who are striving to bring a little more goodness into the world.
So let's get started. Becky, oh my gosh, this conversation,
okay, for all of you out there, who are feeling the heaviness of the world, of juggling all the things of having a family on to the side, trying to make time for your mental health and PS trying to live a life of significance. This is your episode, which PS I'm pretty sure that's all of us. We are delighted to bring to mental health week Briana Lightfoot Smith, she is a business owner for time published author to time podcast hosts, and a content creator, who also happens to be a mom and a wife with three children. And today we're talking about how can you do it all balance it all, and still pour into that thing that really centers us and keeps us fighting toward that North Star that we all got into this work to do, which is really to make a difference. So we're going to talk today about how do you have a peaceful home and a purposeful brand, and how can they coexist and we have brought the power house and Briana to give us the goods on that. So here's a little bit of background about her. She's a business owner, productivity coach and system strategist who loves helping women, especially fellow moms really gain clarity and confidence. So she left the workforce in 2018, to become a stay at home mom. And now she's helping women build businesses while raising their children. And so she's got this incredible brand. She's the founder of Black girls with purpose, which is a book and a podcast. And it's just become this wonderful movement that sharing words of encouragement, advocating for community. And speaking about the importance of accountability, if you're committed to living purposefully, which I know this community is all about. And so y'all, the World Economic Forum reported that the pandemic has undone more than 30 years of progress toward gender parity, we are pouring back into working moms, which y'all 75% of this entire nonprofit sector is women. And we want to be able to take care of ourselves, take care of our families, and still pour into the causes that really light us up. So Brianna, get into our house, come teach us. We're glad you're here.
I'm so glad to be here. Thank you all for having me.
Well, it is our most favorite week of the year. We love talking about mental wellness. And it's just something that we don't talk enough about in the nonprofit space. And so we appreciate you bringing your insight in here. But before we dive into all the things about how we can really embrace doing and owning all the roles that we serve in this lifetime, we want to get to know you so take us back like where is little Briana from and what did she do to kind of wire her heart to kind of come in and help women build their businesses and their brands? We want to know the early story. Yes, so
Briana is a little church girl, for sure. Born and raised in Arlington, Texas, I spent a lot of time in the sanctuary of my church while my dad was practicing guitar and running up and down the aisles with my sister kind of killing time those kinds of things. have always had a heart for people and my sister teases that I'm like my dad because he's the talker. Even today, I was laughing to myself because we were out and I was talking to someone and she was like she probably thinks I know this person and I just met this person but I just I love people. I love people and stories. Yeah, I just love people's stories. And I think even that is homegrown because my parents are both journalists. They met in radio, which people always think is super cool. My mom actually applied for a job that my dad didn't get but then he like came back around and ended up working for the station like later on and they met and yeah, it's just a whole cute like, Hallmark movie moment. But I really just have always grown up being around people. I was in the radio station with my mom Being at the newsstation with my dad, like I've just been around people been around stories my whole life. And that's something that I really loved about you all's podcast just because like you talked about the importance of storytelling. And so everything that I do, can always tie back to a story. Even Black Girls with Purpose, that was an organization. I started when I was living in New Orleans. And it was because I was working with a lot of young Black girls. And I just felt like Man, they're struggling with their identity and their confidence. And I felt like God put it on my heart to write a book for them. He's like, okay, don't just identify a problem, try and come up with a solution for that problem. So I've just had an opportunity to do a lot of different things over the course of my life. And it's funny, because I'm 32. And I feel like I've lived like, six different lives and
You're doing it.
Yeah, it's a blast, though. It's really, really fun. And I have a mentor who said, she said, You just love life. That's all because sometimes I'm like, Okay, girl, pick a lane, down the lane, right? And I'm just like, No, I don't have to pick a lane on all of these things. I am the wife, I am the mom, I am the author, I am the public speaker, I am the podcaster I am the Business Coach, like, I'm multifaceted, like you don't have to just be in one specific realm because we've been given these different talents and gifts for our purpose, which ties into you know why I feel like living a purposeful life and having a purposeful brand is so important.
Oh my gosh, well, I just feel like you were uniquely gifted to come into our house today and talk about this topic. Because not only do you have three amazing boys that you're raising, but you're doing so much you're a founder, also, you are putting yourself out there in the world, which I think takes a different level of energy to just to show up. You're a people person. And we're going to talk about the stats here. Right? So according to the American Association of University Women, women make up more than 75% of nonprofit employees. Becky said that kind of the start of this but backing it into data, it's been true of our careers to have just the the offices that we've been in part of so I just wonder what were some things that the sector could do like the nonprofit sector as a whole, to show up for working moms, because it's so many of our families are impacted?
Yes, I think giving moms a place where they don't feel like they have to choose between their career and their children is really important. During the pandemic, a million women left the workforce, like at the height of the pandemic and 2020 1 million women 1.1 million, right, so we can't forget that extra 100,000 left the workforce and the primary reasons, one in four women were experiencing burnout at work already. And so having to add on. Now I'm watching my children here in my home and having to do zoom meetings on all that things like that was extreme pressure, right? For one. But then there was a group of women who said, Okay, well, we can't afford childcare. And then there was another group of women that said, we can't even find childcare options for our children. And I hated the fact that they felt like, Okay, well, the only option then is for me to leave, like, someone has to bear the brunt of this weight. And I guess it's going to be me. And so that when I think about the support that nonprofits and for profit corporations, you know, for that matter can have or can create for moms, it's really tied to just feeling like someone's coming alongside them. I know, I shared this offline. But we all have heard that proverb that says, it takes a village to raise a child. And in my opinion, it takes a village to do really anything, including build a career that you enjoy, right or have a healthy marriage or create a business from scratch. Like, it takes a village to do that. And if people feel like if women specifically feel like their job, their where they clock in is a part of that village, then companies will start to see man, we really have this, this affinity like we talked about brand affinity with consumers. But you can create that same kind of environment within your nonprofit space, right? Like create a job that people want to come to create a job that people if you even do it suggests, like, oh, you should go and work over here that people are insulted. Like, I would never leave them. They've been so supportive of me, right? Like, they know my children, I'm able to have that remote flexibility if needed. And I know that some people are starting to add Child Care stipends, which I think would be wonderful. I mean, the US is so behind on that. We already know that right? But I feel like there's a lot that we can be doing that, in my biased opinion, is not so much of a reach because we see other countries doing it already. And not only that, but the amount of of funds because people always talk about oh, well the cost and like well the cost that you're going to spend to hire someone else to do this role that this woman's already rocking, but now she had a child and she had to leave, I think you're going to actually end up paying more in the long run.
That's it, and you lose all of that knowledge and you lose the passion and you lose the intellectual history of what's in there. And I just am so glad we're talking about this. Because I want to be really frank and vulnerable with the community and say, it has been very difficult for me to manage, We Are For Good, and to manage being a mom, the last three years. And I know I'm not alone in that. I mean, we're following Reshma Saujani, who is such a powerful voice in that if you're looking for more stats, I really recommend people going and checking out her Marshall Plan for Moms. She's also got a new book out on this. And so I really want to like just commend you for putting your stake in the ground and saying that when we invest in women, when we invest in working moms, it actually is going to help not only grow the product, the brand, the business, it's going to grow community, it's going to create healthy environments for all of us. And I just think that working moms often find themselves juggling all the balls. And so I would love to just get your opinion on how do you manage that delicate balance between your career in the nonprofit sector and your responsibilities at home? And PS I'm taking notes.
I said, so talk slowly, okay. Oh one there is I love that you use the analogy that we hear all the time of juggling all the different balls, because there is a book that I love. And it's actually called Drop the Ball. And it's by TTiffany Dufu . And I think I'm pronouncing her last name right? DUFU and I read that book a couple years ago, and it was such a game changer for me, because she talked about how there were certain things that were happening in our home that she just had to say, Okay, this is not a priority right now. Right? So at one point in the book, um, her husband is, is abroad doing work abroad. And before he left the mail was kind of his thing. And so while he was gone, she said, she let the mail stack up because she was like, if I start managing this, then it's always going to be assumed that I'm managing this right, like, well, you handled it while I was gone. So I'm bad, but you can still handle it. And I'm so strict with my my mom clients that I work with, and even just friends on, like the importance of us putting up boundaries. And that's not just in the workforce, right? Whether you're corporate, whether you are nonprofit, but also in our home, I tell my sons, okay, this is mommy's work hour, and I'm going to be working. And so even at this early age, I'm telling them those kinds of things, because I want them to understand, okay, there are boundaries. And yes, I can be fully mom, and we're going to go have ice cream. And then we're going to go to the library and pick out your favorite book. But then when I put on my, you know, hat for work that I need you to respect that boundary just as much as it as you would if if someone came if I don't take work calls while we're out having ice cream, right? So in the same way, if I'm on a work call, I need you to be respectful and not come up and ask me if you can have a popsicle just because you can see me right. So I think that that's a part of it like us having the boundaries within ourselves and understanding what those are. And that sometimes looks like blocking out time. Sometimes that looks like telling your supervisor, actually, no, I'm not going to be able to take that on. I had to have a conversation with someone this week. And I said, I do know how to do this thing you're asking me to do but I do not have the bandwidth for that.
Proud of you. Yeah. Why is that so hard?
It is.
I mean, so good. And I think I don't want to stereotype our sector. But there's a lot of us that are like help are wired because that's when we wanted to get in this work. And I think it's very easy and natural to just not want to say no to pile the things on and to keep juggling. So I'm gonna wrestle with that word picture you just gave us of dropping the ball here. But I want to talk specifically about mental health because you know, we're in roles that are emotionally taxing, you know, we're a lot of times on the frontlines are part of a team that is dealing with some of the hardest subjects that are hard to talk about. They're hard to know the people going through this situations. So how do you walk in, you know, how do you walk with working moms through this as you're juggling the emotions of the office and all the emotions that come at the house? To on top of that, like it's the intersection of all of that?
That's a great question. I think when it comes to mental health, something that I'm a big advocate for is being honest. I remember several years ago, my dad told me, he said Brie, nobody's going to know that you're struggling unless you tell them and John just like what you were saying because we are typically helpers because we are Oh sure. I'll take on that extra project and I don't know how I'm gonna fit it in but I'll take it on it because We're just even I even hate the phrase. But yes, men and women, a lot of times we are, I think that we're kind of used to sweeping our own feelings under the rug, because it's like, okay, well, the work has to get done. And I guess the buck stops, stops with me. And I'm just really big on being honest with people. Because even in my work in the, in my consulting in my coaching business, I'm honest with my clients, if it's been a rough week, or one of the boys is sick, or I'm sick, I'm like, Hey, I know that this was the deliverable. And this was the deadline that we established before. But I have not been well, and I'm going to try and get this to you as soon as I can. And I create, they create that same kind of situation with me, like I have a mother who, and I know, she wouldn't mind me sharing this, but she's going through IVF right now. And she's had to take pauses throughout our time together for the project and I love that she can say, hey, this is where we're at with that. I haven't forgotten about you. But this thing over here is really important. And so I think just the honesty piece is really important. Because if we feel like we have to show up, kind of at a lesser version of ourselves, because we are trying to keep the facade up. It leads to burnout, or it leads to bitterness, burnout of like, okay, I'm just at my wit's end and bitterness of now you're walking up the company, and you're like, I can never work for them again, and you're burning bridges only because you just never said anything, like people would be happy to even help you. But you've never said, Hey, all this is a really heavy lift for me right now. And I don't, I don't have the capacity, I don't have the bandwidth.
Okay, I'm going to share something really personal that I haven't shared with the community yet. Because you've just inspired me to be brave. But because I think what you just gave as counsel, right there is one of the smartest pieces of advice that people don't think about is that level of being honest with other people, and being honest with yourself. So in the last couple of weeks, I have found out that I'm diagnosed adult ADHD, and with like an underlying anxiety disorder, and one of the most interesting things about my diagnosis was that one, it took me completely by surprise, I had no idea that I am part of this Gen X like movement of adult ADHD that's coming in. But they also told me that my mother took some tests on it, my sister took some tests and my husband, and my evaluator said, Becky, everybody thinks that your motion and your emotion and everything that you pour into them comes from a place of either stress or anxiety. But actually the data says that it's coming from your caregiving. Everything that you're doing is because you're caring about people and putting their needs ahead of your own. And you are not being honest with people and you have been such a competent masker of your suffering of your fatigue, that it has made you sick and you're those people closest to you have no idea what's going on inside your head in your body. And I had to really step back and look at it personally and as a mom, because I'm like, I don't want to model that for my kids that they need to mask how they're feeling or not take care of their mental health. So I share that with the community because I bet there's somebody out there who is really going to identify with that because we're a lot of Enneagram twos out here y'all I can tell you, four fifths of the We Are For Good team is an Enneagram two and that needs to be the helper and the nurturer is at our core and it is our center. But we also need to know the limitations that it takes. And we have to be honest with ourselves and I can tell you I am just starting to step into that. And I am like Bambi I'm like a new fawn trying to like oh, sorry. Sorry Jon, I'm feeling really tired today. I don't think I can take that on or there's too many issues with the kids and if you're surrounded by a healthy community, which I am blessed to have, you know what people say to you take that time we got it we got it for you and I have had nothing but support and so if that speaks to you out there, please take Brianna's incredible counsel and start to be honest with other people and with yourself. So Okay, I gotta I gotta I gotta get into some tactics here because I really think that you do such a great job. Helping leaders take inventory of the things in their life that aren't working, and help them break up that busyness. So can you walk our listeners through that exercise? How you do that and how we can apply it?
Yes, absolutely. So I have what I call the energy audit. I got the idea for a few years ago for a podcast episode. And it started out as a three part process and I've added to it. But ultimately the energy audit helps you understand what you're doing, why you're doing it. And then if anything you're doing can be delegated or dismissed, because, and I want to emphasize the dismiss part, y'all. Because again, sometimes we're like, no, but it needs to get done. Sometimes it actually does it. Like, it's not even like, oh, I need to outsource this. No, you just need to let that go. That's just not a priority in this season. And that's okay.
Thank you. I feel such relief.
She's like flips table, yes. No, really, it really is liberating when you say, Nobody needs to do like, I don't need to do it. You don't need to do it. It just doesn't need to get done right now. And I really encourage people to embrace prioritization over balance, because you can have different priorities, and not even just in different seasons of life. Because yes, we know that's true. But in different parts of your day, right. I know earlier in the episode, I was referencing blocking out time. So I try not to take meetings before one o'clock, so that I can give my wall first and foremost. So I can spend time with God at the beginning of the in like the first thing when I wake up and then so I can give my boys the first part of my day so that they don't feel like they she woke up and immediately went into meetings, or whatever the case may be, I homeschool, so it's also good time for my brain to kind of, alright, let's get this done. And I feel like me and my oldest son are always negotiating. Alright, so So here's what I'm gonna do for you. And here's what you could do for me. Like yesterday, the negotiation was if you guys get this done, you'll get extra time with playdough, right? So understanding the what you're doing, why you're doing it. And what can be delegated or dismissed is really important. Because I think we also just operate very blindly throughout our days, right? You can take routines that you had in previous seasons of your life, and you just kind of copy and paste them and completely ignore the fact that okay, that was a routine that you had when you were single. Okay, that was a routine you had when you were newly married. Okay, that was a routine you had when you had one child, now you have three, now you have four, right? You have two sets of twins, right? Like, we have to navigate this, we can't think that what worked for us in one season is going to automatically work for the for the other season. So having people kind of brain dump what they do, and then seeing, like, why am I even doing this? Are there things I'm doing? Because I feel pressured to do them? Are there things I'm doing because I don't believe that anybody else is going to help me. I'll give an example. I love as especially being home full time, I love going to the library with my boys. And there was a season where we were going to the library. And I remember one day I got them in the car. And I was like everybody, just get your students and get in the car. And I was like, wait, I'm upset. This is supposed to be I said, What am I doing? I'm going to the library, why am I doing it? Because I need to get the boys out of the house. And I was like, Can this be delegated or dismissed? It was a dismiss thing in that season, because I was like, you're not having fun, and they're not having fun, because you're upset and you're telling everyone to hurry up and put on their shoes. And when you get there, they're not even picking a book. So like, yes, in the very beginning stages, especially when I had my oldest son, we love going to the library, or our neighborhood library had all kinds of activities. I was like, Okay, well, now you're a mom of three. So what does that look like now? And maybe you go once every couple of weeks, as opposed to trying to go to every single free program that they have, because they have plenty. So that's a really practical example of somebody needs like, so what does that look like? Actually?
I mean, you're bundling going to the library, which is a fan favorite over here and ask him like a bigger, better question. Like, why are we even doing this? You know, like, I think to zoom out and have some of that. So I mean, it's mental health week on the podcast. And we really just want to create space for this and help to break the stigma. I would say that's probably one of our guiding reasons for even wanting to carve out this week to have conversations and we think it's so powerful for people just to feel feel their own power to talk about the things that are they're feeling burdened by or stress by. So how do you think that we can best break down barriers and encourage more open conversations, whether that's with our leadership at our organization, or just maybe for the first time reaching out to a friend, and being honest about where you're at or a professional.
I would say, kind of take inventory of who you have in your circle right now, I would start with that like, identify, Okay, do you and your supervisor have the type of relationship where you feel like you could be open with them? Do you and a co worker have that kind of relationship? If you if you look at those people and you say yes, then definitely start there in terms of having those conversations, and then start looking at your circle of friends, right, who in my circle of friends has similar experiences that can identify with the things that I'm experiencing? So I'm laughing because I have a friend who we have children who are the exact same I'm age. And I remember, there was this thing on Instagram that was talking about, like, Oh, I'm thinking about putting my children up for sale on on eBay. And they were like, well don't do that you made them. So you should put them on Etsy. And they were saying, like, you need to be able to have people that you can have those kinds of conversations with just no judgment. I'm not really feeling it today. Or let me send you a text message. And let's go on a late sushi date after we put the kids to bed, like identifying who you have in your circle, and then saying, Okay, what what's the level of comfort I feel like I have with this person will really help you to, I think start to create that, that circle of support. I remember when I was in therapy, one of the things that my therapist had me put in my toolkit, she said, I want you to list out every single person who you feel like has been supportive in any season. And I encourage the women that I work with to do that, not only to list them out, but to put their contact information, like literally put it on paper. Because if you are in a moment of crisis, and you're, you know, freaking out, or maybe it's just like you need a last minute babysit or something, we know you reach out to somebody, they're busy, and then now you're panicking. So if you just have a list that you can literally go down, then that's helpful. Or maybe you're not trying to get a last minute babysitter, maybe you just need a sounding board. If you can go down that same list, one person doesn't answer, maybe you get maybe three people down and someone answers the phone, or they answered a text message. I just think it helps to eliminate that lie that we're alone. Because when we feel like we're alone, that's when a lot of dangerous moments come in, right? I struggled with suicidal thoughts when I was a teenager. And I feel like a huge reason I was able to overcome that was because one I had very intentional parents who did not even know that I was struggling with those things. But my mom would just come in my room and sit on the edge of my bed and you know, asked me how I was doing. And she could tell, though she didn't know I was having suicidal ideation, she could tell that something was off. And so she would always tell me, she would say, Brie, this isn't the end of your story. Like, I wish I could tell you, I wish God would give me a vision of what all the wonderful things you're going to do. And I could just tell you so that you felt like you had a reason to keep going. She said, But this is not the end. And you know, surrounding yourself with people like that, who can just be in tune and send you a word of encouragement, even if you haven't asked for it is just like there's no price that you can put on that.
Yeah, I mean, we talk about this all the time, like, where's your hype squad, I don't think it has to be a bunch of people I can tell you, I have a group of three girlfriends. And we send the most inappropriate memes to each other. We talk about when our days are hard. I mean, we of course, Jon, we've branded our group chat, it's called manifesting rainbows, because we're just tired of all the sick and negative crap around us all the time. But it's like when we have hard days, we share it with each other when we have low days. We share it with each other. And we whether we're sending a funny meme back, or we're, you know, just sending some words of encouragement, it helps when you don't feel like you're alone. And PS, the more we do that, the more we're breaking down the stigma because there is absolutely no shame in this. There is no shame in being burnout, and being fatigued and feeling like the world is hard because it is right now and we have to name that. And we got to cling to the people that bring the light back into us. We want to feel that joy and that hope again. So thank you for that great support. And I want to get in more to the activation piece because I think you have talked a little bit about productivity, and you have changed your views on productivity and your focus on zones of focus. So talk about this journey, and what listeners could learn about that productivity versus focus, push and pull.
Yes, I have moved from trying to be productive and push towards being fruitful. Right. So that's the way that I look at it like you think about produce and my husband's an urban farmer, so I always tie things to gardening, right. But you you think about production, like you can produce a lot of anything, right? That one of the things that they work on at their job is lettuce. So even though they produce a lot of lettuce, not all of that lettuce is used and is good to like put into the grocery store, right? Some of it just gets tossed out. And I feel like that's what we have to do in our lives like the the harvest that they take, even though it may be. Let's say it's 1000 pounds of lettuce, the good fruit, the produce that they can actually use maybe 500 pounds of lettuce and I've gotten to a place in my life where I'm like, Okay, I don't want to just produce a bunch of lettuce to keep with my example, I want to, to produce the amount that's actually going to feed other people and feed myself at the same time. Right? Like I have done the self sacrificial thing. And like I said earlier, it led to me being bitter. It led to me having this resentment, I even at one point thought, you know, oh, man, if I wasn't home with my kids, I could be out here doing these other things. Or, man, if this particular thing in my career had taken off, this is where I would be. And I have to recognize one God doesn't waste anything but to some of the things that that resentment I was feeling was because of me, like no one told you, you had to keep doing this, but you just did. No one told you that you had to be the superhero. No one told them to do that you had to continue to be self sacrificing or to be the martyr in your business or in your incorporation or you know, at you're not nonprofit, you don't have to be the atta girl all the time. And releasing that was so helpful. Because now I'm literally in a season of my life, where even though I'm doing, it's weird, I feel like I'm doing more. But I also feel like I'm doing less like I'm doing more of the things I feel like are producing good fruit in the world, I feel like I'm doing more of the things that fill my cup up, where I can navigate between work and play very seamlessly, because I'm not having to have, you know, three hours of let mommy just decompress for a second or turning on. Something I don't even want to watch. It's just kind of on in the background, because I'm like, I can't even think right now. Like my brain is in a place to produce good fruit. And so I feel like that's where I've learned to lean in, like what you said, and not just being productive, but really focusing and tying it into those boundaries. And really just saying, Okay, girl, like, what is the legacy that you want to leave behind? Do you want to be known as the girl who Oh, she, she was always everywhere. And she seemed like she was tired. But she kind of did it with a smile a little bit occasionally. And like, I want it to be said that I love people well, and that I was very intentional with the things that I took on. And then I did things in excellence. And that can only happen if I'm willing to release things that I'm only kind of a little bit good at.
Wow, I mean, I love that you brought up intentionality at the end, because that's what I was thinking when you were talking and I want to lift you know, one of our favorite intentional folks is Brooke Richie-Babbage, she was just on the podcast this season, coming in as a founder, but she's also a working mom, you know, that is juggling this, but she teaches us how, as organizations, we need to be relentless in that too. So we don't have we can focus on the fruit and not focus on all the excess that we're creating. And so as we kind of round out this conversation, thinking specifically about working moms, how can our workplaces How can our organizations really build a culture that accommodates and really uplifts this unique group of people that are powering our missions across the country, with working moms
I would say it comes down to giving moms a place to feel heard, and not fixed. I want to make a delineation there because I think that sometimes can share and they're immediately like, Okay, here's what you need. No, I'm not, I'm not asking for a solution. I'm actually just asking you to hear me out. Because many times we can actually come up with a solution ourselves. When we're heard. Me and my VA, we talked about the fact that both of us process things by talking, and so many women, my community are the same way. So I think if companies and you know nonprofits be intentional about creating a space for moms to just be heard, I think it would be so phenomenal. In the same way that you think about products that will do like surveys, hey, we're doing a survey, we're giving out $15? If you'd spend a few minutes with us to just share your experience. I feel like corporations, nonprofits, we should be doing that as well. How's your experience with us as an employer? Where are some areas that we can improve? And then being intentional about being practical, yes, really create a plan, after moms have shared what it is that they need to create a plan to implement some of those things and things that make sense. And even if there are some bigger asks if they're somewhat feasible, make it a part of your three year plan, or five year plan. But I promise, like, when we feel like we're heard, and that's just people in general, right? It creates that loyalty because we said, Man, that was something that we talked about together, and then they immediately started implementing. I've seen that in multiple organizations that I've worked with, and it makes such a difference company, morale is better. People want to be at work and the quality of work that they're producing is better because they don't feel like they're there just to get a paycheck. They really feel like they're a part of the DNA of the organization.
I mean, I'm here for every bit of this because if I'm taking anything away from this conversation is just the the power and lifting your voice into what you're feeling and what you need. And I just think the world is so different now, post COVID. And I saw something the other day that was talking about how working moms are not at 100% capacity any longer. They're like at 150, 180% capacity, because you're adding in the work component, you're adding in the home component, the kid component, the everything else component. And we are so beyond capacity that we're so tired. And you are sitting at this crossroads just as a society of where we are where we have been telling girls, you can be anything you can punch through that glass ceiling and be anything you want to be. But we still have these gender norms that say this is what a mom looks like. And they're completely, you know, at odds with each other. So the way that we begin to break this down, y'all is talking about what we need, talking about how it's affecting us talking about what the long term implications are. And I just think that when you lift your voice into that, you are not lifting it just for yourself. You're lifting it for every woman behind you, you're lifting it for your daughters, you're lifting it for your nieces, for whoever is to come behind us. And we want them to have balance in their work. We don't want anyone running and fueling at 150% all the time. So thank you for centering us in this. And you've really just had such the storied career, you're so young. And I'm just so proud of this brand that you've created. And I know you've gotten to talk to so many moms, and we would love to just hear a story from you. Because we believe in the power of story to change people. And we know you do too. Is there a moment of philanthropy that has stuck with you in your lifetime stayed and just become a really important part of your own story, we'd love for you to share.
One of the best things that happened honestly, just this year, there was a woman who applied for my grant, because I have a within my company Brands by Brie, I have a grant that I started this year, I wanted to give two moms funding to be able to do something with their business, you know, like, I don't know what this can help you do. But you get to decide, right? What makes sense.
Unrestricted funding!
Right? Yes.
Every day, all day.
Everyone gets unrestricted. You get a check, you get a check, you get a check. So anyway, she didn't end up winning the grant. But I just really felt led to work with her one on one and I reached out and I was like, she may be like, Girl, I wanted the money. You could keep the coaching like I just wanted the cash money, right. But we ended up she ended up accepting and she's a woman of faith as well. She was like when you offered that to me, I was like, Okay, God, I guess I didn't need the money. I guess this is what I needed. And we work together over the course of eight weeks. And she's a mom of six, she'll be a mom of six, I think next month because she's pregnant with their latest baby. And just the connection that we were able to build and the confidence that I saw her develop over time of you know, connecting every week was just so inspiring to me. And seeing that she was building this business with her children with literally with her daughter, she has a company called for Glitter Girls. And it started out as a lip gloss company, but it's really like transformed into more of a self confidence. You know, she has a another brand that she's launching, which is what we worked on together called her First Gloss. And it's helping young women not only growing their confidence, but also start their first businesses so that they can have, you know, financial literacy and awareness. And that, just Yes, working with her has been like one of the highlights. Definitely the highlight one of the highlights of my year, but really even in just being in business because she sent me an email a couple of weeks ago and was like this was so much more than coaching for me like I just need you to know that. And just like, This is why I do what I do. I love what I do.
Yes!
I love that this, this conversation just given us so much. And I just you feel your passion when you talk and just your love for people. And so I just want to thank you for pouring into that and chasing that. And just being a beacon in this whole conversation. We round out all of the podcasts with a one good thing and so I gotta kick it to you for your piece of advice. This could be your mantra, a life hack or just something that you feel would be a benefit to the listening community today.
I would say release the outcome. And that's a word kind of a phrase I've really been sitting with this entire year because I know that especially talking to this, the demographic of moms Right? Like, I know many of us want things to look a certain way we want meal prep to look a certain way we want children's hair to look a certain way we want our, you know, our table, if I could flip this camera around and show you on my kitchen table, like we want that to like a certain there's so much that we want. And in all the things that we've talked about today talking about that I'm gonna see, it's your responsibility to be honest about what it is that you need, but then release the outcome. So even if you share with a supervisor ways that you could be supported and you don't feel like they respond in the way that you want. Understand that you did what you were talking about, Becky, that you helped plant a seed that wasn't there previously, right? Being able to talk with your children about some of the boundaries and even if they blow the whole thing up and they don't care well, okay, you've at least started to create that, that understanding, right? And you just have to emphasize it again and again. And then even with how we want our houses to look like these perfect Pinterest boards, something that I loved that I saw online, a while back said that your children are not going to look at their childhood and and measure it by how well the living living room was vacuumed. Or you know how fresh things smelled, because especially I'm a boy, mom, y'all, it's not always fresh. I have my candles burning even right now. Right? But like, was there joy in our home, was there love in our home? So I just think if you are intentional about showing up authentically, being as honest as you can then release the outcome of whatever happens after that.
I mean, we're sitting here talking about moms and Brie is just given us like this warm virtual mom hug. Like, I just think the exhale, it could be the greatest gift that we give ourselves right now. Letting go What a gift. People are going to want to know how to connect with you. They're going to want to get connected to your podcasts, to your books. Like tell us where you hang out online. And how's the best way everyone can connect with you?
Absolutely. So as we said multifaceted, multi hyphenated, right. My personal my personal website is Briana Lightfoot Smith, b r i e a n n a light foot smith.com My business is brands by bri.com b r a n d s b y b r i e.com. I will tell you all if you want to take that energy audit, I actually have a Burnout Buster toolkit on my site. So you can go to brands bribery. Yes, it's a whole situation. I have the energy audit, but then I have a delegation. I have delegation resources. I'm trying to help you all to live better lives. Okay, so brandsbybrie.com/burnout. I'm on Instagram at be Lightfoot Smith. I'm trying to be better about my LinkedIn y'all. I'm on. I'm on LinkedIn at Briana Lightfoot Smith, but don't look for me to post regularly because I'm not there yet. But I am definitely super super active on Instagram.
Because you're a mom, you're busy.
Exactly.
You drop that ball. Hey, you have permission to drop that ball!
I've dropped it. LinkedIn has been dismissed, okay. It's been dismissed in this season, I will pick it up in another season. And then I my nonprofit where I work with girls is actually UnityQueensInc.org. And so if you're someone who loves working with girls as well just want to see the things that we're doing there. You can go to UnityQueensInc.org
You are amazing. I appreciate you giving us just permission to take a break and center ourselves. And I don't think you have to be a mom to get something out of this conversation. I think this is about balance. This is about conversation. This is about community this is about rest. Thank you for giving us that today. Brianna. Thank you now go hug, your boys go do some Legos.
I will, yes!
Take care of my friend
Thank you my friend.
Thank you.
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