Hey there. Welcome to another episode. How is your heart today? How is life landing? Do you need to maybe take a deep breath in and out, shake things out, do something kind for yourself as you listen and hear all of these. Because, friend, we are having to endure way too much these days, both in our individual lives and collectively. And if you like me are finding it to be increasingly harder and harder to cope in the world than this episode is for you. And I hope that you get from it a bit of what you need. The absolutely horrific images, videos and reports coming out of Rafa recently, as well as ongoing conflict in Congo, Sudan. And of course, that is not at all to forget about the injustice, rights being stripped away and lives being taken in other areas of the world. And then the US. It's all too too much all at once. And for so many days, and months, and years. I'm hearing recently from people that they're feeling numb, disconnected, distressed, grief, overwhelm, anger, exhaustion, anxiety, and so much in between, whether that is what's going on out in the world, in their communities, you know, nearby where they spend their time in their life or in their personal lives. And we all have our own ways of dealing with all that's present for us while living you know, in our current times, right like that, or so. Just there's its current times, I don't even know what I can use to describe it anymore. Some coping mechanisms I'm hearing pretty consistently these days, is disconnecting from the things that we normally do or normally enjoy. Or people are saying they're spending more time than usual getting caught up in things that totally suck their time. I know for me, it's Instagram often. Or sometimes people are purposely numbing out through things that suck up their time, whether that's aimless scrolling, or anything else. In some instances, people are dissociating, which in case you're unfamiliar, no worries. It's the mental process of disconnecting from our thoughts, feelings, memories, or even this our sense of identity. And it's possible that you might be finding yourself doing some or all of the above. And guess what, there's no shame in that it makes complete sense. I keep saying continuing to be in a chronic state, I should say a state of chronic stress, with one stressful episode piling on top of another times what like 50, at this point depends on you know, when you're starting the clock from right, it's all super dysregulated. And we are not meant to deal with multiple distressing things at once for long periods of time. So sometimes, we get to a point where numbing ourselves, spending more time than usual getting caught up in things that totally suck up our time, or disconnecting from things we enjoy, as well as dissociating from situations that caused us a lot of stress. These are the ways we cope so that we can simply show up to our responsibilities and be some semblance of a human. So there's no shame in all this. Like it's completely understandable. And if in case nobody has said this to you recently, like I hope you feel validated in this. And the hard truth is none of these coconut poke the I can't even talk coping mechanisms help anything in the long run. And I bet you already know that. But in case you needed that pointer. You know, the coping mechanisms don't stop genocide or oppression. They don't help us deal with what we are experiencing in a sustainable way. In reality, what these coping mechanisms do is allow us to slide further down the rabbit hole of overwhelm and despair. They fuel further dysregulation and disconnection from ourselves in each other. They fuel reactionary behavior, rather than thought out responses. And so what we really need to understand is our needs, our desires, this picture this beautiful picture, we have our minds of how we know life can be for ourselves, for our communities, for others around the world. All of that needs us not to cope in these ways. Ending genocide, other injustice and oppression that's happening around the world and in our communities requires us not to disconnect from ourselves and each other requires us not to numb out or disassociate from it all it requires us instead, to come back to ourselves to come back to ourselves. And while you might want 100% agree, you might also be asking, maybe even screaming at me how? And friend that is a completely reasonable question. The short answer is we need to up our acts of self love. We need to go all in. In the last episode, I talked about the knee Yama, which is yoga philosophies, ethical codes towards ourselves. They are tools for inner strength and self reflection. They are the discernment in our behaviors towards ourselves as well. And specifically in Episode 53, we talked about South Asia, which translates in English to purification and cleansing, cleanliness, my apologies, stumbling over my words today. This week, the Neoma I'm leaning on for support in this conversation is santosha, which is contentment, the practice of acceptance and being present. Now you might be like, like, or do you mean we should be content with genocide? We should be content with anti trans legislation and, you know, targeting of LGBTQ plus, you know, folks, queer folks, black folks, right? If you name it, no, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that at all. Remember, these are our behaviors towards ourselves. And believe it or not, one of the ways that we do better work out in the world, is to make sure we are doing good work for ourselves. So I want to make sure that we are on the same page with these meanings. With contentment. I feel like this often gets misconstrued into settling. But that's not what contentment means at all, if you look it up, because I had to because I was like, wait, I think I've got this a little wrong. It means satisfaction, as in a state of happiness. And with acceptance, I find that this one often gets tied up in accepting things in situations you're not satisfied with. But how about instead, we think about it as something that's adequate or suitable, or even consenting to receive or undertake something that's offered. And with being present, you know, we're talking about a few different things like being present in the moment, not distracted, not multitasking, not bypassing or gaslighting yourself. I'll talk more about that too. And no shame on my multitasking. By the way. Sometimes, it's just a fact of what we need to do I get it. But I want to start with contentment and happiness, this facet of santosha. And I think, you know, you're not going to be very surprised when you hear me say Western culture has ingrained in us that we need to always be pushing forward towards a goal as hard as we can, typically sacrificing so much to get there. And we often look outside of ourselves for happiness and validation. So often our feelings of wholeness, enoughness and happiness are tied to situations outside of us. Or as part of an if this, then that's when I'll feel whole enough, happy enough, whatever equation. Now, let me be clear, I think that is absolutely okay to acknowledge that there are things in your life that you wish were different. Maybe you wish that there were different things about you. There could also be things that you don't like about yourself, all okay? And it is also okay to be satisfied for the moment while you work towards shifting or changing something. With all that said,
I still think it's important that we step into our wholeness, enoughness and happiness now. And the reason is, that all helps us to be regulated. It helps us to discern when our behavior is not aren't serving us or the collective. It helps us to act in an authentic rather than performative way. Stepping into our wholeness, enoughness and happiness now helps us to let go of guilt, shame and intense judgment of ourselves. And I also want to make sure that I say sometimes we do act a fool and need to call ourselves out on it, and that's okay, but not in a judgy way. Standing in our wholeness, enoughness and happiness helps us to see clearly and truthfully and live that way. So I implore you, check yourself the next time you're criticizing yourself. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and it's okay to perfection is a tool of white supremacy culture. And it's also okay to not like everything about yourself, remind yourself, that's okay. But you're not allowed to be mean to yourself, that is my role for you. Something else to consider when we're talking about contentment and happiness is to create more moments where you are at ease, open more space, to feel ease in the moment. You can literally build time into your schedule, five minutes here, 10 minutes there. If you scroll when you're waiting at a doctor's appointment, or picking up kids, if you have them or waiting for a meeting to start, why not read a book or listen to some music you enjoy without multitasking through listening to the music, why not close your eyes for a bit, maybe set an alarm so that you don't oversleep or you know, miss anything that you're supposed to do? I mean, there are so many options. The key is to just do things that resource you more often, I always say they can be small and effort and shorten time. You don't need grant here. But bring in more of what will promote peace and calm within you establish and hold some boundaries around this too. And we can discuss so much of this in a one on one release the pressure call by the way, you can find the link and info to all that in the show notes. And as you start these practices like say, you know you get out you finish this podcast and like I'm going to try something but doubt or group coops in as you get started remind yourself of this question the author Michelle, Cassandra Johnson writes in her book, skill and action, the second edition, when you are unable to practice contentment, and therefore unable to find inner peace, what is the outward impact? So remind yourself of that question. When you are unable to practice contentment, and therefore unable to find inner peace? What is the outward impact? And then just keep going, okay? When it comes to acceptance, the reality here is you're doing as much as you can, I know that. It may not be all you want to do, or all that you think you need to do. But you're doing as much as you can. So I'm wondering, do you view it as adequate or suitable? Do you give yourself credit for all you're doing? I know I don't. And so this is a reminder for myself as well. So here's how we begin to make peace with this. Remember that making a dent in genocide, systemic oppression, or any thing else, any injustice, anything that you want to shift or change, that all requires small, consistent steps from us. Even though we think we should be doing more in bigger things. It's not about big, sweeping grand gestures, that's not going to make the difference. So you've got to do the small things. You've got to do the things that don't feel like there are enough small steps. The mindset shift here is I'm doing my best and my best is good enough, or I'm doing my best and even though I wish I could do more, my best has to be good enough. Next thing can you accept help when it's really offered without guilt or shame? Can you can you consent to receive something that's freely offered. And then when it comes to being present, like completely present in the moment not caught up in the past not worrying about the future. Not distracted, not multitasking, not bypassing yourself not gaslighting yourself. You noticed like that. That's it, those things. I know when I say it like that just sounds simple and easy, but I know it's not. Here's the thing, when you start tending to the other parts of santosha like contentment and acceptance, being present becomes easier because you no longer feel compelled to worry, to agonize to randomly fill the time or distract yourself. It becomes easier to be in your own presence. You be it becomes easier to not have answers, it becomes easier to let go of guilt and shame. By law last offering here is an affirmation that Susanna Barca taki offers us in embrace yoga is roots a wonderful book. And it is I practice that Tosha by aiming to cultivate happiness in as many moments as possible, I turned my mind toward gratitude to nourish contentment. I grow and learn from the events in my life, I strive to have a positive outlook and learn for myself and cultivate peace. I take pleasure in the present moment, I do what I love, and then and enjoy myself. I love that so much, my friend. For any more support, you can head to the disruptors guide to self care, it's a free resource on my website. It'll give you many more tips on simplifying your personal self care, based on foundational practices, some little twists to make things even more accessible to you, given your busy life. And you also gives you a PDF sidekick that walks you through figuring out how to make, you know, whatever self care practice you're focusing on right now accessible to you, based on your responsibilities and available time and energy, I encourage you to check it out. And don't forget, you can hop on my email newsletter to get weekly guidance or meet me in a one on one call. And we can figure out everything in real time. In the coming days, I encourage you to open space for inquiry with the information I've offered today. Notice what feels like a yes. And maybe lean into that a little bit. And also notice what feels a little sticky, and maybe become curious as to why the stickiness is there. Is it rubbing against old beliefs, maybe some conditioning from white supremacy, culture, capitalism that's still there. I know that I'm still uncovering all the ways that you know, the oppressive systems are showing up in my life. Maybe the stickiness is coming from cultural or familial beliefs that don't align with align with you anymore. Maybe a part of the of what I've offered just doesn't feel wholly accessible right now, or maybe it's just not the right timing. Maybe it is something completely else. We're just totally fine because as always, take what you want, and leave the rest. And then as you get started with adopting some of this into your day, moves slowly, remember a little goes a long way. But until next time, my friend, please be kind and gentle to yourself just as you would to those who are most most precious to you. Whether that's a human and animal baby or a plant. I'd love to hear from you. I love to hear what you think about the episode what you think about anything I said how it lands for you. And so please feel feel free to reach out and share however it is that you and I connect in the world. And if you've been loving the show, please share it with your nearest and dearest and leave a rating or review. My friend remember you are a badass and you are enough now go be your favorite self and be well
