[Air Date: Sun 10/3/21] Episode No. 129 I Am Capable + Can Do Hard Things

3:05PM Sep 28, 2021

Speakers:

Jessica Lauren

Keywords:

hard

podcast

instagram

capable

uncomfortable

people

girl

quit

episode

baybay

listen

book

inspired

break

launch

trenches

ai

step

l'oreal

goal getter

Hello and welcome to the Sunday jumpstart podcast, a weekly podcast helping goal getters, ditch the excuses, do the work and make -ish happen! My name is Jessica Lauren and you are listening to episode number 129.

Hey y'all! Hey! And welcome back to this week's episode of The SJS podcast. Happy Sunday. Before we get started, I just want to apologize that you might hear me sniffing and snorting because my allergies are kicking my butt. I love the fall. I'm a fall baby. I was born in the fall, in the Midwest, baybay I live in cold weather. But that change in temeprateure-- whew it be kicking my butt. So excuse me if I sound a little bit congested. But congestion aside, y'all This is part two of the-- "Speak It Series". Today we're gonna be exploring the whole "I am capable and can do hard things affirmations". right?

It is my belief that the more you get into the habit of speaking, what you want to see into existence on a regular, magic starts to happen. And last week, if you didn't get a chance to listen to Episode 128 go back because that one is where we start honey where we're owning our greatness. When you get a chance. Go back and listen to that because we're talking about not shrinking and playing small. And at last episode today we're talking about the fact that you are capable and can do hard things, right? A lot of times when we get these new ideas and these aha moments we like oh yeah, let me step up to the plate. I got this but then when things get hard, we're like you know what? That's too hard. I quit see later, assalamu alaikum right. It's today's episode we're gonna be talking about the power of using the affirmation I am capable and can do hard things and how that will help you get unstuck when you truly are ready to just throw in the doggone towel. But before we hop into this week's episode, I just want to spend just a couple minutes saying thank you to you Thank you to everyone that always dm me or comments or send me a text like girl This episode was good. Today I want to give a special shout out to Monique she left a rate and review in Apple Podcast and it was all about Quick Tip Number 42 which was all about networking across. Monique says this episode was a true golden nugget. Collaborations with my peers has always led to favorable results. You don't see kindergarteners trying to hang out with 12th graders they happily hang with fellow kindergarteners lol that same class of kindergarten kindergarten is become 12th graders in their own time, time and consistency will get us exactly where we need to be and Monique is @33Moniquemoments over on Instagram Monique I'm so happy that episode about just networking with the people that's on the same plane as you really resonated with you. I think a lot of times were like oh my goodness if that big star or celebrity or influencer could share my work or repost what I'm doing I would blow up but a lot of times it's like no if you work with the person that's in your circle, y'sll can help build each other up if you miss that quick tip go back and listen to it as quick tip number 42. Thank you so much Monique for sharing that rate and review again is @33Moniquemoments over on Instagram. Listen one way that you can help get this make -ish happen message out there is by leaving a five star rate and review and Apple podcast it really does let Apple know hey people are really feeling this podcast to get motivated and inspired and let's share it with more go getter so if you get a chance, press pause you know go to Apple podcasts leave a five star rating review and if you don't listen on Apple podcasts you can still help a sister out, you ain't off the hook either. What you could do is screenshot yourself listening to today's episode and upload it to Instagram and tag @theSundayjumpstart that's also a really good way to help get the message out there all right you all thank you so much for always supporting the show and now without further ado let's hop on into Episode Number 129 speaker series I am capable and can do hard things.

All right so why this affirmation? Why did I decide to choose the I am capable? I can do hard things affirmation. Well for one as much as this podcast is for you guys. It's also for me, this podcast is me just trying to preach to myself okay, and as you guys know I'm just kind of in a hard season and baybay sometimes I need to remind myself that I I'm capable. And I know that I'm not alone. Because if you listen to this show, chances are you're a goal getter and a go getter is any person that has a huge dream or goal that they are trying their hardest to achieve. And if you're a goal getter, and if you've been doing it for any amount of time, no matter what your genre is, right? Whether you've been writing a book, or trying to launch a podcast, or trying to get your art in some gallery, or really scaling your side hustle your business, sometimes the issue gets hard, right? You can, you know, put your best foot forward and pray and market and do all the reels and shuck and jive and shimmy and all that stuff on Instagram. But baybay there are going to be some days when you ain't gonna get a sale where you don't book a client when you don't get no views. Ain't nobody listening, ain't no downloads, didn't nobody tap a vote on your Instagram story. Like there are going to be some hard times, there's going to be times when you're pitching yourself for brands and they say no, or you're trying to get a literary agent and they give you that bogus rejection letter, like your story is good. But we're not interested in like, What am I supposed to do with that information? Right? There are going to be issues with your vendors, your graphic designer gone give you the wrong design. Or maybe you want to start something and you ain't got the right equipment, the right amount of money, like whenever you decide to step out of your comfort zone and try anything new, whether that is business related or even in life when you're finally like, Listen, I'm tired of living paycheck to paycheck, I need to find another job. I'm tired of being in a debt. Let me figure out how to use this envelope system. I'm you know, I'm ready to have a baby. Let me start procreating baby all that is hard, right. And when things get hard, as humans, we have a tendency to say, you know what, that stuff was cute. I know I wanted to get to a new level. I know I said I wanted to get out of debt. I know I said I wanted to work full time for myself in this business. But baby, it is hard. And what we have a tendency to do is a piece out Baby, I'm done. I don't got time for hard, right? Hard is uncomfortable, hard as embarrassing. Hard, don't feel good, hard, shouldn't even be hard. I'm looking for something easy. We don't like hard, right? And so we tend to back away, give up say, whoop, I tried it. And that is it, right? But if you want to get to the new levels, and see those dreams realized, you have to stick to hard, like who wants to hear that? Oh, you got to stick to hard or hard is where we grow our hard is you know, through adversity comes success. None of us but that is the truth of the matter. Life gets hard business gets hard relationships get hard, children get hard, all aspects of life have a compartment where it get a little bit hard, right. But you can't give up just because it's hard and it's uncomfortable, you have to keep going in order to get to a new level.

So something interesting happens to all of us, right? Especially when we get that big idea to change something or go after something or try to level up right there is a little cycle that we all go through. And I'm going to walk you through this cycle to show you like why we tend to give up and why we shouldn't right. So the first thing that happens to us is that one day we'll be minding our own business. And you can literally be mad at your business, like just journaling or you know, just driving in the car. And you have this aha moment, right? An idea just lands in your lap. Or you could be on social media that happens a lot to us, right? Where we're just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling. And we get inspired. Right? The idea is like, Oh, you know what, I like that. I can do that. That looks easy. I could totally do that. I see myself doing it. And then you get excited, right? You're like, Mom, I got this idea. Like, I was just driving today. And I got this idea that maybe I should be a vlogger. Or maybe I should really focused on my art or go back to school or go to nail school or hair school. Or maybe I should finally get my license. Right? It doesn't have to be these big aha moments. But for you and your life and in your situations, they can be big for you. Right? And so that's what I like to call the inspired phase. Right? That is where we're just kind of like in this LaLa Land of possibilities like, Oh my goodness, I can so see that happening, right? Like I could get behind the podcast mic. That's easy. Or I could pick up a camera. Anybody can vlog that's easy or of course I could draw like I used to color as a kid like I know, I see that artists doing it and they're getting commissioned 10s of 1000s to do that, but I could do that too, right? We get inspire and it's nothing wrong with that and I do just Slowly and softly on your lab. And that happens a lot to us goal getters because, again, we're just always constantly trying to figure out our next steps. How can I improve? We're always trying to launch something. So it's nothing for an idea to fall into our lap. And so if you're in that inspired phase, the next level is research mode, right? If we are really truly inspired, and it triggers all the bells and whistles inside of us internally, we start asking ourselves, okay, what do I need to get there? We become curious, right? And that's when we start taking courses or signing up for webinars or going to YouTube university or checking out Skillshare we might even you know, ask somebody Hey, can I apprentice you like you just really become enthralled with this idea of becoming a chef have opened up your laundromat becoming a singer right? You start thinking okay, what acting classes can I take? How can I strengthen my vocal cords? If you want to run for senate you like shoe, how do I clean up my background? Like, I got a couple of tickets, but like you just go into research mode and you let the Curiosity lead you and that's when we find ourselves. Be like, you know what, this makes sense for me. Let me do some research right? Then after curious mode or research mode. You you equip yourself with new knowledge right? Or you get the equipment right like if you've been dreaming of having a podcast, you go off and get your mic. If you've been really thinking about becoming a barber you're like, Well, let me get my first pair of clippers or if you want to get back into your art, you're like hey, let me go down to Blick and give me some canvas and some you know, what are those things called? Charcoal you get you some paint like you This is the part where you just start to really get the equipment you're starting to invest in yourself and getting new knowledge or reading all the books like you're just soaking it in and then you finally get the courage to try it out. You hit Publish you start painting you start practicing on your hair dummy if you're trying to you know learn how to do hair again and nails or you turn the oven on and print out your recipe and go grocery shopping and try to recipe like your you after you know being curious and inspired and getting that new knowledge then you try,try it out. Right and a lot of times it's so funny, we think that it's supposed to all come together instantly right? We think that that first attempt at making a upside down seven pound cake or whatever, whatever German chocolate cake we're like you know, I followed the instructions I took all the measurements properly you know, I had Top Chef on in the background of course this cake should turn out right? And what happens sometimes it does but most of the time it doesn't right? You take a cake out and it's a little dense is a little dry. You like it's not quite the chocolatey luxurious indulgent flavor that you wanted happen I did x y and z right? Right you write up your first blog post you're like okay, I did this to my pitch today. Crickets nobody reads it or you know you're like hey I really want to get into DIY and that is me with Pinterest I love Pinterest and I'll be like sure I can make my own hair board you know like why not I got the materials I went to Home Depot I watched your tutorial 5011 times But honey when it comes when it when it comes in my house all of a sudden is like oh wait this drill is a little heavier than I thought hold on is not working is nailed I'm broke I didn't know I needed the stud finder to find her like now I'm tearing up my drywall when we try new things sometimes it just don't work out right instantly in that first attempt right? And so a lot of people drop off they're like well my Pinterest cake didn't turn out like Pinterest so that's it I'm never baking again or you know what, them knotless braids baybay I told myself I have a brand my own hair but because it didn't turn out like the girl on YouTube I'm done or the makeup the artistry the getting out of debt well you know I know I said I want to get out of debt but baybay Chanel had this sale and I went and I found it on the Reel Reel and I bought the that said I can never get out of debt again. We have the tendency to just quit but because you're a goal getter maybe you don't give up so easily. Maybe you're like you know what that's to be expected. I'm a novice. I'm okay with that. I'm gonna try again. And you try again you re record the episode you redownload your vlog like you go back you know to your singing lessons or you reread that chapter or whatever the case may be and you're like, Okay, the first time I messed up cool, but what about the second and the third and fourth and a fifth? This is what I like to call you in them damn trenches. Okay, this is when you are down in the dirt, dirty, disgusting, exhausted, you want to cry, you know stayed up all Night and read all the tutorials and you know you took the courses and watch the webinars and is still not working for you you're still not getting the results that that person promised right you're still not quite matching up to the girl that has a million followers right you know videos that's like I grew my Instagram from 10,000 followers in a day follow my steps and you follow the steps you like well girl where my 10,000 followers at? Honey sometimes everything for everybody, okay, everything that works for everybody ain't necessarily going to work instantly for you. And I want you to highlight that word, the word is instantly sometimes we have to let time take time and who want to do that we are in a world where it's like maybe I need that NEOW, I don't want to wait on nothing right? And so if you are brave enough to withstand the trenches, after your fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth 10th attempt and it's just not working. That's when you realize, Yo, this is too hard. I can't do it. I tried it. I quit.

Now I did a whole episode on quitting and I'll be sure to link it in the show notes just go to the Sundayjumpstart.com and click on episode number 129 I'm going to link the episode about quitting because there are times when you need to quit and in that episode, I tell you like the telltale signs it's time to legit quit and quitting isn't always like a bad thing it is it even always like throwing in the literal top towel. Sometimes it's pivoting is redirecting and tried a different avenue right so quitting isn't always bad. I don't want you to think about that. What I talked about with this quitting is the quitting that like you did let your craft get seasoned a little bit or weathered right you didn't break it in right you know what you got like a pair of shoes. That's cute, and they love it and you spent a few a lot of money on it more than you normally would. You wouldn't just after to wear them him just through them out. You know what I mean? Like you'd be like dang I got to spend some time breaking these in, and if you truly love them, right? Some people are like, Chile I'm gonna sell them I'm giving them away. I'm not like that. It'd be like nobody's gonna work. I'm gonna work these out until I can't anymore. And sometimes we get like that when you see the potential. Like you're like, you know, today wasn't that bad, right? Today the cake turned out okay, I can see room for my for improvement, right? So that's more so what I'm talking about, like, you don't want to quit before you got into break yourself in before you've been the student for a little while, right? But anyway, so in this cycle, you get inspired, you get curious, you research, you're equipped with new knowledge, you got your equipment and resources, you're trying it out is hard, then you get stuck in the trenches, and then it just gets too hard. And you quit. You're just like, I can't get out of debt. I'm always going to be here. I can't ever become a baker because it's just too hard. Or I'll never get to go back to school because this exam is too hard. Or I'll never be able to, you know, really skill my side hustle because things are just too hard. Now, why do we give up when things get hard? There are a few reasons right? Number one, we give up because we're used to winning. And being the smartest, the brightest, the fastest. The quick learning-ness this person in the room, we're used to winning, right? You're facing something hard, you're not always guaranteed a win, right? When you've been at your job, three, five, 10 years, you know how to maneuver how to move and shake the politics you need to play who to ask who not to talk to who to block when to get on slack and all that jazz, right? But when you're like, you know what, this job, don't pay enough, this job got toxic. This job, I'm not growing, I want to get another job to grow to increase my earning potential to challenge myself, right? And you go after that job and you get it and you're sitting there. And it's a little hard because you don't know the politics. You ain't the smartest in the room. It's not an instant win! You're used to winning because you had the cards in your hand. You already knew what to expect, right? That's how it is for me. Like what the blog I know exactly how to blog. All I do is x, y and z with the podcast. I know how to do X, Y and Z with you know, when I decided to launch out into coaching, it was hard because I wasn't seasoned I was a novice. I didn't know what I was doing. You know I'm saying and that's why we give up because we are conditioned to always be the winner. And when things get hard. It is asking you Hey, why don't you be the loser for a little bit. Why don't you be the student for a little bit so that I can teach you how to eventually become the winner. But we don't like that eventually we want to win now and if I win and now that I'm about to throw in this doggone towel because I'm not no loser, but there are so many gifts that you get when you are the loser when you fail. Yes, it's uncomfortable. Yes, it's embarrassing. But after you get past all that ego stuff, you actually get to learn how to grow and to use that failure. Losing season hard time for your greater good, but when it gets hard because it's uncomfortable, tell me has there ever been a time in your life when you signed up for something uncomfortable just for it to be uncomfortable? Right? Never right? A lot of times when we put ourselves in uncomfortable situations, it's because we desire the outcome way more than the discomfort right? So what's uncomfortable getting your eyebrows arched? Getting certain parts of your body waxed having a child with us is uncomfortable but just basically anything that deals with beauty for women right but we go through it because we're like you know what, after this discomfort I get to become a mother after this discomfort. You know I'm feeling sexy and ready to go right but the thing with when you're launching or starting something new or revamping anything, you're not always necessarily guaranteed a weird right? entrepreneurship is hard. Acting is hard being a creative is hard because there is no guarantee those are careers where two plus two don't equal four right in my acting career you know, you can try as much as you like practice as much as you can, you know, go to classes, get mentors, get an agent go to auditions, five times a week. But that don't mean you go in when we're in much more traditional jobs. It is like go to school, get your degrees start off as an intern and work your way up as entry level then work your way up. Like some things are very much step by step you know you do this then you get that into that. But entrepreneurship stepping outside of that comfort zone, you know, doing something you never did before living abroad is not guaranteed success right? And so we're we think things get uncomfortable when you get hard. You're like, I don't know if it's worth it because I don't have a guarantee right? And and we give up because we're just like, I don't want to be uncomfortable and I don't blame nobody for that. Because when do you sign up to be uncomfortable? You don't our job as humans is to protect ourselves from any perceived danger and being uncomfortable. That's dangerous, you know, I mean, like, if it's cold in the house better, I'm not just gonna sit there and be cold for some moral bonus points. Nah I'm getting my house shoes. I'm putting on a sweater. I'm getting up under the covers. I'm putting on my space heater because I don't like to be uncomfortable, right? Number three, why do we give up when things get hard? It's in embarrasing to not instantly be good at something right when we try it right? Like when I was doing my swimming lessons in the winter, you know, I get in the pool, they swim teachers pretty much teach you how to swim that first day they really do I know and next week we'll learn how to have that know every like day when you're swimming, right? And so in my swimming lessons, I'd be like, okay, I should get the breaststroke down right now or the backstroke and butterfly. Why aren't I that good and its like girl My son teacher had told me one time he was like Jessica, it took me a year and a half to get down his breathing technique right? I was really struggling with how to breathe while you're swimming you know, to face now face out all of that stuff. I just couldn't get it. And I get frustrated because I want to be the best thought like, I'd be in my swimming lessons. Like you have to got to join the swim team because the swim team would practice next to us, or whatever. At this rec center. They have like a grown adult swim team. I'd be like yeah I could join the swim team in like a month. Girl what that meant was like, it took me a year and a half. He was an older gentleman. He was like it took me a year and a half to learn how to breathe properly. And that was just such a like, aha moment for me, right? But before he said that, I'd be embarrassed like I want to leave because it was like, Hey, I'm naturally good at most things. Why isn't this working for me? Right? And so we give up because we don't like being you know, the person with only 10 likes the person with only 50 followers. The person with only 1000 downloads right? in his day and age when we get to see everybody's wins. Your little win always look little like you'd be like oh my goodness, I you know launch my online store. Pay $400 today isn't that awesome? chair you could be jumping for joy Papa champagne you get on Esteban somebody's like, Hey ladies in quarter one, I made $2.5 million. Like, girl. So y'all know $400 don't look nothing, you get him like nothing, you get embarrassed. So it's like, let me just throw in the towel now because I don't want to be embarrassed. Why else do we give up so easily? Um, because hard things trigger known insecurities, right? Like it triggers the insecurities that we've had all along, when you mess up, or you don't get things instantly or you don't become an A plus plus student on day one. It triggers that story that you've always told yourself. See, I told you, you were dumb. See, I told you nobody likes you See, I told you nobody will listen to you See, I told you your voice doesn't matter. See, there you go. It becomes proof. It triggers that part of you. That's like, I'm not good enough. Nobody's my friend. Nobody likes me only good things happen to her. You know, like, I'm not pretty enough. I'm not cool. I will give up too. If If every time I try something, every insecurity known to man goes off. We also quit because we can't control the outcome. Right? I mean, launch it, me me saying, hey, I want to be a full time in my business, hey, I want to go to hair school. that'll mean that after you get the trainer after you launch, that things will automatically work out for you. Right? We can't control that. And not to say that it won't work out for you. Maybe you don't work out in the timeframe that you wanted it to. Right, like, Okay, I need this to happen in a month. And it takes a year. You know, I'm saying we don't like that we can't control things, right? Why else do we quit? Well, because it doesn't fit the fantasy, right? Let's say things are working out for you. Right? But it's not working out how you thought, right? You're like, Oh my goodness, maybe if I finally get in a relationship, and fall in love, I won't be so lonely anymore. And then you get in a relationship with a pretty good partner and they're a good person. But every day you ain't Cinderella. Every day, you ain't get swept off your feet every day. You're not getting tennis bracelets, like Saweetie, whoever else on Instagram, right? It just is very mundane, regular relationship. We quit because we're not winning. It's uncomfortable. It's embarrassing. It triggers your insecurities. You can't control the outcome, and it doesn't fit your picture. Perfect fantasy. And I get it. This is a no judgement zone. So I have quit before for all of those reasons and that's why affirmations like I am capable and can do hard things are so important, right? It's important because that affirmation reminds you hard times are a part of the deal, right? It doesn't say I am capable. Because everything in my life is easy. And everything always works out. And I'll never have a hard time and I'm always the number one son of what what what what what?

No, I am capable and can do hard things is saying, hey, some of this stuff is going to be difficult, hey, this ain't gonna come easy to you, hey, you're going to need training? Yes, you're going to need to invest in yourself. You want to have to invest in the right equipment is hard. But you are capable, you can do hard things, right? What does capable mean? Right, I went and looked it up. This is from dictionary.com. being capable means having the ability, fitness, or quality necessary to do or achieve a specified thing. Having the ability, fitness or quality necessary to do or achieve a specified thing. Right and good. Like Jessica, that definition is cooling off. I understand that. But it sounds like you're kind of contradicting yourself, right? In order for me to be capable. Don't that mean I kind of have to be already good. At the hard thing. You know what? No. being capable, to me means that if you look at your past, and all the hard things you've done before, right, and the heart of your past doesn't mean have to match the heart of your now right? If you have at any point in your life made it through a difficult patch that you didn't see a way out of a difficult time where you thought you would never make it out of a time that was so hard. You thought you might have to drop out quit leap, but somehow you still stuck stuck to it. That's the capable I'm talking about right? Yes, you might be a novice. Now you might be a beginner, you might be a student, right? And you might not feel capable, right? Because capability. You have to practice at it right? I can't say oh, I'm a capable swimmer right now. And I'm still learning how to breathe and how to move my arms in the water, right? I'm not capable because of my mind or what I can do now. Right? I am capable because in the past, I have been able to overcome some things that I did. Everything I will get out of right. That's what makes you capable. It's not your necessarily ability. Now it's not that you're professional now is not this mega superstar now, but you are capable. Because in the past, there was some things that came up in your life, some obstacles that came up, you couldn't pay your tuition, you didn't know how you will get your car fixed. You know, your man left you, your mama left you whoever and you steal a rose through all of that adversity, right? That's the capability that I want you to tap into. You are capable, because you've done hard things in the past.

Why else are you capable? Well, because unlike any other generation, this generation right now we have access to a wealth of information to help you get better to help you strengthen your capabilities, right? You can read a book, you can get on a podcast, you can go on YouTube, Skillshare kajabi, you could go wherever you did me and get the knowledge that you need to make your capabilities even stronger. Right? How else are you capable? Because if there is a will, there is a way right? Sometimes we we rely too much on our own strength, right. But when you're a beginner, when you're new when you're revamping when you're relaunch it when you are a little rusty, you have to rely not on your talents right then and there. You just have to rely on the fact that hey, I've I've been able to arise before, right? I've been able to figure it out before I've been able to ask for help before and he helped me out like I have the capacity within me to figure things out and to research and to get curious and explore. I just have to not give up on the hard things right? And when things get tough you say I am capable and can do hard things. I can figure this out. Yes I'm uncomfortable Yes, I'm embarrassed Yes, I've invested tons of money but regardless of all that I can still get it done I'm tired I'm exhausted I could still get it done it hurts I'm embarrassed I could still get it done. Because I have breath in my body I have activity in all of my limbs I woke up in my right mind right all the things your grandma used to thank God for I didn't understand it then right when you hear your grandma Laura thank you for waking me up in my right mind that's what's making you capable Lord thank You for surrounding me with people that pray for me that's what's making you capable God thank you so much for my talents that you give him that's what's making you capable and being able to do hard things right?

Okay, let's do it there right so how can you overcome the hard right? Here are a few things that you can do right you're capable just because you're here and if you have the will, and and just the resourcefulness to figure it out. You can do the hard things. So how do you overcome the hard First things first, give yourself permission to be the beginner it is okay to not know everything right? Be the student right? We don't expect kids right when they come out the womb okay make sure you paying his rent Okay, make sure you know you know how to drive yourself to school. know when your baby come out your baby you let that baby be a baby you like you know what? I'm let you rest. I'ma let you pooping your diaper because that's what babies do. I'm gonna let you throw up on me I'm gonna just let you be a baby. Give yourself permission to be the baby to mess up to not get it right to take that pressure off yourself to not have a million downloads right when you launch to not know everything about business to make mistakes. Let yourself be the novice, the beginner the student right? How to overcome the hard. Let time take time. My mama always when I was in my acting career, she'd be like well Jessica it takes 10 years to become an overnight success. You know my good girlfriend L'Oreal Thompson, Peyton Peyton Thompson I'm sorry Lori always forget your hyphens girl, but L'Oreal she just got herself a book deal. And she posted it on Instagram will be like oh my god girl congrats! I know L'Oreal story. I've known L'Oreal for years. But there was some people in the comments like oh my god this show winning season. L'Oreal had a battle with infertility and she also got pregnant and you know she was also working at as a pretty high powered marketing executive at this company and she was able to transition to be self employed people was just booster her up like oh my god there's a winter season girl you got this I'm so happy for you. And she made another post like y'all I thank God and I love y'all but y'all don't know my story. I've you've just come along to my Instagram it looks like all my goodness, she got the life for her dream. She got the man she got the baby. She got her self employed career. She got to go deal, but she was like none of y'all was shooting with me in a gym, where she was an intern at Jet magazine and Ebony Magazine.And not making no money when she had to leave her family in Baltimore to come to Chicago and she lost her bags on the airport or y'all won't with her when she had millions of rejection letters from agents and if she gets a book agent and that agent drops her I think she was dropped by to book agencies before going to her book deal, right? It she was just like, I just don't want anybody to think that this happened overnight. This was a 10 12,15 year journey. Just like my good girlfriend, Natalie Lou. She just got her book deal. And I'm so excited for both of them. But Natalie has self published three to four books. And in 2019 2020, she had been pitching herself to books and she was getting rejection letters Left and Right Left and Right right. And she finally it was really messing up her self esteem. She talks a lot about it and her podcast called the Baggage Reclaim Sessions. Check it out. And she finally got her book deal this year right? asked me how long Natalie's been writing her blog. Natalie just celebrated her 17th 16th or 17th anniversary of our blog, it took our 16 or 17 years to get her book deal. It took her four books that she has published herself to get her book deal. We want things to happen now. And everybody hates this. But time has to take time. There are levels to everything right? We when your child is in kindergarten, you normally expect them to be working on a college level. Right? It just don't make sense, right? When we plant a seed, we don't expect Oh, where's the tree I plan to proceed yesterday, come on tree way yet. Knowledge stuff takes time. You need to extend yourself time and be comfortable knowing, I'm on a journey. I'm in my six year of just doing this not the podcast but the blog that turned into a podcast that turned into a coaching program who knows where we go, I know where I desire for it to be in my heart. And I know the conversations me and God had and I wish what happened overnight, but I'm on yearsix! And in six years I still only have you know such a such followers. But something in me is pushing me keep going. Put that put your blinders on and keep going designate hard? Hell, yes. Do I cry? Do I get frustrated? Do I just close my laptop and I do all those things. I allow myself to do all of that. But then once I'm done, I'm done. I'm like, Alright, come on. Let's go finish doing what we got to do, right? So first, give yourself permission to be the beginner. Let time take time. Right? up next. How do you overcome the hard? You have to get into the habit of celebrating every single teeny weeny win, right? Y'all I got five sales today. Let's get let's get it you know, you can take yourself out to coffee, dinner, lunch and drinks, whatever. But you could also just turn up to Meg the Stallion and twerk for a little bit. That's a celebration, get into the habit of celebrating. Every every milestone, I got one sale, I got one reader. Let's celebrate. Let me do a little dance. Let me put a little extra hot sauce on my pizza. Like whatever is celebratory for you do that. And then things won't feel as hard because the Am I I'm enjoying every step of this right? Even though it's hard and all that, hey, I want to write a book today. I finished one chapter. Let's go. Of course, you know, on my to do list, I wanted to finish 50. But it just wasn't me. But what I did do was this teeny tiny thing. And we go celebrate it right? When things get hard. What else can you do to stay in the game, take a break and come back to it. Y'all know I will take a break when I get exhausted or tired or burnt out. It's nothing for me to get on the podcast and like hey, I'm feeling exhausted and burned out. I will see you in two weeks a month whenever take a break and come back to it. When I'm writing I get stuck in my writing a lot. You know, it doesn't have to be a true true break. It could just be like let me go outside for a while. Let me just you know, drive to a coffee shop, get some coffee, clear your head, take a back, take a break and come back to it. Another thing you could do you know we we think that we could get a ton done in a day. But the truth of the matter is just with life in all of our obligations. We really can't get that much done not you know, you can't but you can't , right. We like to write these to do lists that are a million miles long. But if you have this big project right that you want to get done, whatever it is for you in your life, instead of trying to tackle these big mountains have to do Let's try to break it down into the teeniest tiniest of steps, right? Step one, just go secure the domain name on godaddy.com. Right? Step two, go, you know, sign up for one little class about economy or buy a journal that'll help you get your ideas down. Just take the teeniest tiniest of steps, right? When things get hard, we make them harder and overcomplicated, because we're trying to do too much. If you break that down into teeny, teeny tiny steps, things will feel a little bit more easier, right? What else can you do when things get hard? Don't take yourself so seriously, right? I know that we're like, you know, I got the same hours in the day as Beyonce, or, you know, like, we just put a lot of pressure on ourselves. And if we just take that pressure off and be like, you know what? I'm capable, I can do hard things. I am a boss and all that jazz. But also, I'm just trying to do the best I can today, right? Just I'm gonna take these teeny tiny steps. laugh at yourself, when things get hard, just just try to bring some lightness to it. Even though things are harder when I was doing the ecourse the ultimate podcast boot camp. That was That was my first time doing what if things got really hard, and it wasn't going as fast like I be like, I can launch this in a week. Girl it took me eight weeks because I didn't expect for there to be so many learning curves and I get frustrated with myself. Like Come on. All you gotta do is this is taking too long.And I was like, girl shut up! You know, you just just don't take yourself too seriously. Like girl, it'll get done or calm down. Go outside, get some air. Don't take yourself too seriously when things are starting to get tough. What else can you do? Well, you can start to watch stories that inspire you. And that deflates you my favorite thing to do when I'm really just in the trenches as listening to how I built this podcast that's on NPR and it's what the host Guy Raz and he interviews everybody in a mama right? The do's that may Instagram the Melissa Butler from the lip bar like any big entrepreneur or CEO dude that made Southwest Airlines like the lady that made Jenny from Jenny's ice cream is just such a well rounded vessel of entrepreneurs for lack of a better word so that you get to hear their stories and I listened to it because especially when things are hard because all of your stories are hard they blind oh yeah we went broke the first year oh yeah we didn't make money for five years or yeah you know we were just just talking to a vacuum like nobody hurt us we didn't get any downloads and so when I'm not getting downloads or nobody's listening or I feel that way I'm like oh I'm in good company like oh I'm not making a ton of millions of dollars like they were you know Instagram wasn't either took Instagram like 10 years or five years or whatever to start making money. Oh I'm in good company watch and listen to stories where people are telling the whole well rounded truth about their experience with what you're dealing with not those people is like in after a day idea XYZ is that the wrong listen to that. But sometimes you can get caught up in comparison. I want you to seek out stories of people that were in the trenches, right? Like the stories of like Harrison Ford didn't book his first film so he was 40 you know, like Oprah when she first started off as you know, working on some rinky dinky network, like listen to that stuff. And then you will realize I'm in good company. I'm supposed to be floundering right now it's supposed to be hard, right? But I can still get it done. And then finally, when things get hard, I got this one from Luvvie. She was online one day, you know, Luvvie, is the author, Professional Troublemaker and she has a few other books and she has this really popular blog and podcasts and all that stuff. And she's like, every time I got hit with a new idea or I felt led to a new level I will always say God send me my helpers because she realized she could not do it on her own. And so still that prayer I'm like God, I have these wild crazy dreams send me people that will help me and funny story I pray that almost every day Lord send me my helpers and send me who I can serve. I pray that every day and God did exactly what I asked them to pay them the Pamela Renee over on Instagram, Pam, every Sunday I will get a notification at the Pamela Renee shared you know, a story and she was basically creating Instagram content for the podcast. She just like y'all listen to this podcast is awesome. Every Sunday faithfully every Sunday, Wednesday, and it dawned on me like when I make the podcast. The last thing I want to do is make any Instagram content because podcasting is just it's a long process. I edit everything I record I'm making the shownotes scheduling. Like it's just a lot of work like hours long and I try to get it all done in a day. Because I got other stuff to do. And I was praying to God send me my helpers. I know I need to show up on social media. Pam was already doing it, I would just literally just share what she did. So I hit her up one day, like, Pam and you've been doing this for months. How would you feel if you got paid to actually that be your job like every Sunday and Wednesday, I need you to create the graphics. And if you could respond to some comments and things of that nature that would help me out right because I'm in a season where I need to delegate stuff that are not in my zone of genius. I personally love showing up for Instagram sometimes when I'm owning my greatness, but when I was going through my real bad insecure lack of confidence season Pam came and did the part that I was too afraid to show up as right. God sent me my helpers. Gabby that helps me with transcripts. She worked with me at my old job and she was like a little sister. I was looking for extra work. And I was like, Well, listen, I got the software where I upload the podcast, but because I'm black as hell. And I have I speak with Ebonics, I have an accent, they can't always differentiate what I'm trying to say can you go in and do it right? Ask God for help from him. And then ask him bring me people that can help me figure this out that can help me get to the next level. And also asked him Hey, who can I serve? Who can I be of service.

But at the end of the day, start getting into the habit of saying I am capable and I can do hard things I have the power within me to figure out whatever I need to figure out and I can it is going to be hard I acknowledge that right we're not we're not you know running away from hard. We're saying hey, I see hard I see you loud and clear, but I'm gonna get it done. Yes, I might need to ask for help. Yes, I might need to study and invest in myself somehow somewhere some way but I'm gonna get it done right. Start saying I said every day I am capable and can do hard things. And watch what happens. You start just getting a little bit bolder, right? Or, or you just come to terms. It's gonna be hard. So let me just enjoy this one I can right? Instead of me sulking, hey, you know, I got to study for this exam. It's gonna take me for hours. Okay, cool. Let me get my favorite pop, my favorite coffee, my favorite water, I'm gonna get Skittles I'm gonna get popcorn. Whatever makes it more pleasurable for you just start leaning into that. But I just wanted to encourage you as you are on this journey to launching, to revamping revisiting starting over trying out some new stepping out of comfort zones. You are capable and can do hard things.

So y'all that is it for today's episode. Thank y'all so much for tuning in. Y'all I'm on fire about this. This series, y'all. I'm so excited. And thank you so much for all the positive feedback that I've gotten on Instagram. My good girlfriend Luba, she's been listening for years she's like girl,you speak so much life into me and that's all that I pray for. Slide into my DMS over at Instagram on Instagram is thesundayjumpstart is the handle let me know how you feeling about it. So you can also let me know how you feeling about it and the rates of review please leave a five star rate and tell me what resonated with you with today's episode and be sure to leave your name or Instagram handle so that I can shout you out. You guys I will be here this Wednesday with a quick tip. If I mentioned anything in today's episode that you didn't get a chance to jot down, get back just go through the Sunday jumpstart comm and click on episode number 129. Everything that I've mentioned will be linked there. Also check out the ultimate podcast boot camp that is my ecourse for aspiring podcasters that's on the website as well just click on courses. And that is that I love y'all I am praying for you when I say that I truly mean it. I hope you guys have an incredible week. I pray that today you get to rest up and love on yourself and your people and I'll see you here this Wednesday. Alright, y'al bye!