Laura Wilde, welcome to the show. I am excited for this conversation. I enjoy speaking with people like yourself, but I find people like yourself to be some of the most challenging people to interview. Would you like to know why?
Yes, please.
Because we have a lot of different things to talk about. You bring a lot to the table. You're very dynamic not to take anything away from anybody else, because I've had some really amazing people on the show, as well, but it's hard to kind of classify you. Do you go by any labels?
Well, I agree with you, I tend to have to be real dim. So the people around me are great at saying stay focused. I like to say that I'm a sports metaphysician, but that just adds to the confusion. This last two weeks, I kind of settled on something. And I thought I'm really not a mental performance coach, romantic and stuff. So I have officially decided that my title for this lifetime, at least for the next year, right? Is everything static? I gotta keep it moving. But Supra mental performance coach, this means beyond the mental. Oh, I
like that. And what is the mental mean? So we're going beyond the mental what is the mental you talking like? conscious or subconscious?
Yeah, I'm also talking, adding in, like self awareness. And I literally, I'm adding in the quantum So to me, if we're not adding in the quantum, and we're not adding in things like epigenetics and the meditative part, like, what is the observer, think about our minds, right? If we're just up in our mind, then we're kind of breaking the rule of trying to solve problems where they were created. So the problems we have are mostly created in their mind. So I want to go beyond that. And for me, that's really using like quantum physics and like quantum medicine, and some of these things that seem like they're out there, but they're really very simple.
Okay, I'm gonna want to talk to you, we're gonna address the epigenetics. Because I think that's just so fascinating. But I'd love to learn more about the quantum What do you mean by that? The physics behind that the quantum?
Yeah. So I guess the main, I always use this example, because every millennial can understand this, right? So you know, your cell phone, they're in your hands, I'll point to their iPhone or their Android and go, Yeah, well, when I was growing up, we actually had these cords. So if you're doing metal performance, you have a phone with a cord, you can only go to the hallway, and just inside your bedroom door, you and I probably both experienced that where I would lean against my door, so that the phone would reach into my room constantly as a cell phone. That's the difference. The old stuff is that cord that drags around the house. And literally, I would get yelled at by my parents, bringing the phone back in here, when I'm on it. I know, I don't want the phone cord down the hallway. So now I'm noticing that Oh, yeah, everyone understands cell phones. And those are made with quantum mechanics. So the iPhone, the Android, all those, all these things have no cords. That's the quantum level. And it's really fast connection, right? Like, I don't have to mail a letter, I can just pick up the cell phone, boom. And we're there. And that's what happens when you work with elite performers. The quantum level is fast, and it kind of goes beyond what we're used to.
So are they already at the quantum level, and you're refining that, or you're taking them to the quantum level,
I would say I'm bringing them an awareness of their quantum level. So yeah, everyone's we're already operating at this, you know, we're humans, on a planet traveling, I don't know how many miles per hour we are traveling, but it's pretty fast. So we're not dizzy. And then the idea of the quantum is, it's already within us, it's already part of who we are, we can't walk around without it. But people just don't tend to notice that we have this connection to every other thing in the universe. So I showed him, it's like this, if there's a prism in it, the light goes into the prism and it reflects out or maybe it refracts out into all these different colors. Then I'm working with athletes like reverse prism, we're taking the colors, all the colors, the experiences, the personalities, the belief systems, their gifts and talents. And I'm kind of funneling it in to the prism at the big side of the prism. And it comes out in a focused light, like literally a line of focus light, and that's how they operate. And I would say that's kind of working at the quantum level, like that kind of analogy. paints a little bit of a picture. Oh,
yeah. And then is that the zone that you talk about? Oh, yeah,
that's the zone. The Zone is bringing everything together and just letting it be completely focused. But what's interesting about the focus is when I teach athletes to get in the zone, it's really about expanding. I'm like, let me teach you how to get in the zone when it's loud. And so if I'm training someone to get in the zone, I'll drop something, I'll make noise, I'll turn my phone off. Because it's just not reality. When they're actually under pressure. They need to have experienced the zone with all kinds of things going on around them. So yeah, that's the zone.
And your superpower is getting people into that zone. How do you do it.
Well, there's a formula for getting in the zone. And it's a simple way of thinking about it is we have to first relax our body and that our mind so we can actually surrender. to something else beyond us. So if I'm just walking around, I'm probably thinking about a lot of things. So I get the athlete or the person doesn't matter if it's an athlete or not to allow their mind to kind of surrender. It's like this, almost like a mystical force takes over something else is out there. And even if people don't believe that, I go, Well, were you focusing on breathing for the last five minutes? Or were you just reading like, pretty sure you're breathing, but you weren't thinking about it. So it's like, Guys, if we're if you don't die, and you stop thinking about breathing, then that means you can actually allow the game to be played through you, because you allow the breath to move through you too. So it's actually really easy. Because just like breathing, like, literally, it's already there. You just have to notice it. And so I pointed out to them over and over again, look, there is how you can go find your way into the zone. So you know it's a process.
So you first help them identify? Well, first and foremost, identify that everyone has the zone, it's just a matter of pointing them and getting them to access their zone.
Yeah, because I really believe everyone has access to the zone, it's just that not most people cannot access a zone on command. So I show you how to access the zone when you decide to access the zone. And that is a huge difference maker in Game Changer banging on the pots and pans. Moment like wait a minute, you can create this by using a formula that's repeatable. So don't leave it up to chance, right? Don't there's someone that said, don't get into flow, by chance, get into it by choice. And most people don't teach that I've done the research I'm looking for who else is teaching how to get in the zone every time. And I've kind of created an awesome formula that's relaxing and fun, and exciting. And it can be taught to everyone.
And how long does it take to teach someone to get into the zone? And then how long? Can someone once they understand how to get in the zone? How long? If they if I wanted to get in the zone? How long would it take me once you've taught me how to do this? And then how long do you stay in the zone? Or is it something that you have to just continuously kind of do in order to keep yourself there?
I know. That's okay, I'm a prism. I'm a reverse prism. So all the things I'm pulling in so the tech to train someone to get in the zone, I love to say it takes about eight hours to be great at getting in the zone can take that eight hours, or it might take someone five years. For me, I used to get in the zone when I played sports a lot. And then when I was trained to get into the zone, it took me a couple of years to realize, wait a minute, I have this power. And I didn't quite put it all together, it was like I learned how to slow down my mind by breathing and how to access another state. But I hadn't recognized it as I can do this on command and walk around everyday like this. So once someone learns, they can actually on their own do all the practice it takes some people can get in the zone and really stay there a long time. Other people will get back into the zone quite a bit like once a while I'll be walking around. And the way you know you're out of the zone is if you criticize yourself or someone else, boom, you're out of the zone. Like if I'm being judgmental, I'm not in the zone, like in the story. Or if I get upset or excited or have a brief moment of my heartbeat racing, because of something that I see that I'm out of the zone. But yeah, once you learn how to get in the zone, you can also learn how to get back into the zone really quickly. And after being in the zone. It's just like, as you practice free throws or throwing a football, the more you practice throwing it, the more comfortable you are throwing it. And I think people have a lot of fear. And they don't know how to do these. They don't know how to get in the zones. They don't practice it. But once I show someone how to practice it, they actually really enjoy it. And then I don't have to remind them, it's just they do it on their own. And is this zone? Are there different kinds of zones? And
or is it just one zone that you're in?
Yeah, that's actually I love the way you asked that because so I always called the alpha zone. The thing is, it's not really the alpha zone. Because when you meditate, you're basically if you're a good meditator, right, which that's kind of a joke, right? A good meditator. Anyone who meditates is just a meditator. We don't label it, you know, when you look at it from the spiritual side. So however, right now we're walking around, we're wide awake, we're in beta state. And then if I can get a little closer to the zone, I'll go into the alpha zone, or the alpha, mind state. And then a little more deeply down is the theta. And that's where most of our meditation takes place, especially when we're a practice meditator. So what's interesting is, when I teach someone who meditates a lot, how to get in the zone, they go too far below, and they disappear from the room, even though they're sitting right in front of me, they're no longer able to really hear me. And people who don't know how to meditate, tend to stay very aware of the surroundings. So there's a really sweet spot. Just set the slower brainwaves of the alpha, right connected at the fastest brainwaves of theta. So it is a sweet spot. And that's the only zone that anyone's ever really talking about. They just have come up with all kinds of names, flow state, zone, I don't even know what else I was locked in. Those are all just a way of explaining the sweet spot between alpha and beta.
So if you don't have like an fMRI, how do you know which state you're in? Like how do you know if you've gone past deer because oh, my understanding is when you close your eyes, you go into alpha So it's not that difficult to get in. And maybe that's just my own ignorance, but it's data that's like the golden nugget.
I'm not gonna call it ignorance at all. I mean, when you close your eyes, that's one of the first steps to getting off. But But here's the thing, I walk around in the zone in the alpha, because I've trained myself to do it with my eyes open. And that's the difference, right? So I can train anyone to get in the zone with their eyes closed. And the key is that I take the training a little bit further. So you get in the zone with your eyes open, because I mean, heaven forbid, your eyes are closed, you're trying to make a dunk. But closing the eyes is a step to alpha. But it's not actually getting into alpha, because if I close my eyes, in a busy subway in New York City, I'm probably thinking who's going to try to, you know, push me over? What if I miss my train, if those thoughts are going on, you're still in beta. But to get an alpha, it really is a process of learning to get there. And you know, when I train someone, I can kind of see where they are. But they're also closed. Thomas Edison used to have this thing he did when he was thinking about things and imagining things, he would hold a ball bearing in his hands. And he knew that if he fell asleep, and like when he didn't have a ball bearing in his hands, he'd fall asleep, and wake up later go, Oh, damn, I missed this greatest invention, but I forgot what it is. So he started holding a ball bearing in his hand. And at the moment, he went to that deeper theta state, the ball bearing would cling to the floor, and he would be jolted into awakeness. And remember what he had just been dreaming about. So that's one way you can do it. I like to hold crystals. And then when they fall like, oh, okay, just went to theta. So you can test things out, but doesn't matter a whole lot. Because once you're into either alpha or theta, especially if your eyes are open, you're going to be performing at such a great level that you don't need to measure what it is, you just need to be surrendering to it. And like really like letting it take over you. That's great. So
getting back to the one of the first questions I had is is something that we can kind of live in this zone? Or do we want to get into an elevated like you said, whether you're shooting a free throw, that you need to be locked into theta?
Yeah, I think honestly, I wish we could all live in the zone. If everyone learns how to get into the zone, I think the world would be a better place on all levels. Because once you're in that space, it's really hard to do harm to other human beings, right? When you're in that state, you're in a state of connecting with the collective unconscious, suddenly, you are me, and I am you. And that's one of the things I use with athletes, I help them merge with their favorite athlete, let's say it's a kid who's not super great. And I say, Hey, why don't you practice emerging with your favorite athlete, like, literally get into the zone. And once they're in the zone, I'll say, Now imagine stepping inside a really powerful athlete that you love. And they can kind of have this connection, because at the collective unconscious level, we are all connected. So yeah, the zone, we could live in it, I tend to live in a lot more probably than the average person. And once you're trained, and you can start to go there more and more, it becomes easier to default to that space. Right? That's to me, that would be like a life goal. Oh, my gosh, I taught a million people how to get into the zone. And now the world's a better place.
That's fantastic. So are there things that people if they're listening right now, and they don't necessarily can't afford you or get access to you? Are there a couple things that you could recommend that they do on a daily basis to help get themselves in the zone?
What I always say is, I have these three gems and these three gems, and they all go together. So one thing I would have someone do is write a big statement down or even a big question like,
you know, big powerful, like
powerful like, like powerful, like, what is the nature of being an NBA superstar? What is the nature of being the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, something like that. It's beyond where you are now. And that is a little bit ridiculous. Like, it really needs to be a little ridiculous. Like, if you're on track to being a great Division Three player, make your big question bigger than that. What's the nature of getting drafted in the first round? Because we want our subconscious mind to start to, like, hear these big things and not let us go into fear and self sabotage. So I always start with a big, huge question. And then from there, okay, if that's gonna happen, then what should I do? Oh, I need to have mental reps. And mental reps are really easy. You close your eyes, and you pretend you're doing the thing. So you close your eyes, you pretend you're dunking a basketball or you close your eyes, you pretend you're signing checks, to merge companies and doing this huge thing, whether it's business or sports. So the superhuman mental reps means you're being a little ridiculous, like you're dunking from half court when you close your eyes. So those reps right, that definitely would get you drafted in the first round. So let's use our imagination to go beyond where we are physically, maybe even emotionally and mentally. Because a superhuman mental reps start to bind us together, like with a dopamine going on in our brains, like so then we become instead of addicted to negative self talk, we want to become addicted to big dreams, right? And then from there, I always tell someone that if you start to look at your meditation and your breath as really powerful, some people say, Oh, I can't meditate, for whatever reason. Maybe They can't sit still that long. Okay, start with 10 seconds, you can sit still for 10 seconds. So there's really never a reason why someone couldn't meditate. It's also not outside of any religion, because even the person who's most religious, I would say, meditation is listening to God. So if you think it's outside of religion, it's not, it's this listening to a higher power beyond yourself. And then the breath work is just easy, I always say, just take an elevator breath, which all that means is, you would just start by sitting in place. And imagine that there's at elevator and the bottom of your feet, let the elevator move up through your whole body, all the way the top of your head. And then when it gets to the top of your head, it's going to let out all the negative people, or the negative thoughts in your mind, let the elevator door open, the little negativities run away. And then just allow some really beautiful light, some good energy to run into the elevator, the top of your head, close those doors, and then just watch the elevator go all the way back down to your feet traveling slowly, you're just following it, you're not forcing it, you're just in the flow, letting the elevator go and you're just watching it, you're observing it not caught up in it, not overthinking it. And I always say just imagine yourself connecting to the earth energy because the earth energy has a very relaxing vibration that most of us are not aware of. So from there, let the elevator go back up to the top and let it bring with it all this beautiful energy, this nurturing energy from Mother Earth. And by the time the elevator gets back up to the top, and you let it suspend before you observe it going back down, you probably have gotten yourself a little closer to the alpha state. Because at that point, your breath has slowed down and you become an observer. Instead of a doer you become in a state of being right instead of doing or forcing or overthinking things. So I think those three things combined are one of the ways people can start to get in the zone.
Wow, yeah, it's good. And it's so funny. So in line, I had Tom Silver, who is a famous hypnotherapist, and he's worked with so many kinds of people. And after our show, he worked on me, and he kind of took me through something similar. And it's so interesting hearing you talk and, and drawing upon some of the things that he walked me through. And it's been amazing. Now I start my day, every single day with some of these kinds of exercises. And it's had a tremendous impact on me. So for those who are listening, I would really, even if they just played that mini little session. I think we're at about around the 17 minute mark where he started. I mean, even just hearing you and having you walk them through that, just that one little session, I think will get them there. What are your thoughts on that?
Yeah, I agree. I mean, these little tiny things like this add up to the big thing. One time I was listening to Jack Canfield do a talk and he said, dream big and plan small so Oh, yeah. Dream big dream about being in the whatever the NBA, the NFL or the CEO somewhere, and then plan small plan that you're gonna focus on breathing for two minutes. That little step gets you closer and closer, because there's so many books written about habits and how if I eat McDonald's every day, it's not a big deal. But in 20 years, and I've eaten it every day, too late to undo it. And I actually I listen to Tom Silver's podcast, I really do. I like that guy a lot. Really great guy.
Oh, he's fantastic. Happy to introduce you too. I think that. I love that. Yeah, I would get on well. And it's funny. You talked about habits. I mean, everything. Everything's a habit. I tell people all the time. You don't control your future. You control your habits, and it's your habits that dictate your future.
Yeah.
So I get into this might sound like I tell my kids that too. I tell everybody. I'll tell
your kids and you tell my kids and then they'll listen.
That's so true. What is it? The shoemakers kid has no shoes or something? It is so true. Can you tell when people are in the zone or not? Whether it's like as we're talking or on the phone? Or whether it's a zoom? Or just when you're watching on TV or in person?
Yes, I can. One of the ways to tell if someone's in the zone is Are they an excellence or not? I mean, it's like, you know what, because hardly anyone's ever in the zone. I guess that's what it comes down to is. People say what NBA players do you see to get in the zone all the time? I'm like, I don't know. I've been taking one hand if I had to pick it up to name them. Really? Oh, yeah. I mean, just especially guys who consistently get in the zone like some like in the zone for a short while. But even some of the best players getting the other than Michael Jordan right. Some of the other best players tend to get in the zone for a quarter or something. I mean, I did notice that it seemed like the Celtics had this like zone team thing going. It was really fun to watch them like I would be exhausted after their games for the last playoffs in the bubble. Because it's catchy. Like the zone is catching. So I can see when someone's in the zone because things just go right. And literally that's the that's what the zone is about. Right? You can't do any wrong. And everyone remembers that Michael Jordan was shrugging his shoulders running down the court, like I don't know, can't miss. And that's what the zone feels like. I mean, it's a little bit mystical, but it's also very practical. Wow everything is going right. And just the way I practice. So it feels magical, because hardly ever does everything always go right, especially in sports. So yeah, I can tell by watching people. It's
interesting. Have you ever worked with any golfers? I would think that golf is a sport that could really benefit? Well, every and we could all benefit, right?
Yeah, well, I think golf is actually a little different. I actually would be interested in working with more golfers because you can actually measure a golfer, right before they hit the ball, which is great, right? a basketball player, you can't really measure it. But golfers, I've worked with only amateur golfers thus far, I haven't thought it out much. I actually am playing to learn to play golf. Because for me, understanding the sport helps me a lot like I really want to be on the inside of it, not the outside looking in, when I try to help someone be great. So for golfers, it's really incredible. Because they're all alone, it's so easy to get caught up in their own heads. Unlike other sports, like basketball, and the game moves so fast that you don't have a lot of time to, to worry. But for golfers To me, it's kind of like a baseball pitcher. Now I've worked with a lot of pitchers. And to me golf and a baseball pitcher are kind of similar because you got one at a time like it's and there's only one I always say like with a baseball pitcher, you're only going to throw one pitch the entire game. And that's the pitch you're about to throw. So I think it's the same for golf, you're just gonna hit the ball one time in the entire game. And that's right now. So yeah, I love working with golfers I think they can benefit the most I've had amateur golfers like text me later, like, you're not gonna believe this. And I'm just sitting like, I actually am gonna believe this. I trust my work. So they are understanding that there is something different. They don't like people think, Oh, yeah, I've done all the work. I'm already at the best I can be right now. I'm like, No, that's your capability, you have a capacity that you haven't seen yet your capacity is actually beyond what you're doing right this second, what you're going to do tomorrow, the next day, your capacity is outside of your mindset, it's outside of your mentality. And if you let me work with you, I will show your capacity. It's nothing like what you thought, like you have a perceived potential, and then your actual potential. And the actual potential is way higher, because it takes away thoughts, beliefs, parents, negativity, positivity, all that. And that's where I feel like the difference is happening, right? With the athletes I work with, Hey, I know you think you can be great, but you really don't recognize how great you can be. That's my job to tell you every day. And to point at you over and over again, and show you where you're missing this little greatness corners there inside of you. And it's my job to tease them out.
And how do they take this like you? I mean, you're dealing with elite athletes, I mean, playing at the NBA level, are you finding them to embrace what you're bringing to the table? Because it's a little out there for the conventional thinker, and you're dealing with elite athletes that have elite egos. So what's their take on what it is that you're bringing to the table?
Well, it's interesting, because in the beginning, when I was in the NBA, I was like being a salesperson, I was like, Well, here's the reason you should work with me. And then I got, you know, I thought, you know, if I want to date a man, I would never say, Here's why I'm awesome. I would just ignore him, that would get his attention faster than anything. So I started just being in my own world, I'd be around different teams. And I'd be reading a book, or I just meditate or be happy. And people started saying What are you doing? What's that book? What's that about? And people would ask me, I always, I think that a lot of NBA athletes have a slight or a lot of narcissism in them, just meaning that they really, it's all about them. So often, it's been all about them, because the society has made it that way. So imagine telling a guy who believes he's great, but he can be greater. It's music to their ears, actually.
And then what about as being a woman practicing this work? What has been the advantage? And what have been some of the disadvantages?
Yeah, in some ways, it's a huge advantage. I think the disadvantage was, when I was 10 years ago, I was trying to get into the NFL or the NBA. I didn't get in until about four years ago. So I would think that okay, if I just look really attractive, and I wear really nice clothes is going to help. No, it was a disadvantage. I'd have comments come at me like, my wife would never let me hire you to work with our team. What What do you mean your I don't know your wife? I don't know you. And so guys would be nervous about having a perceived attractive woman around the around the team. And I know I've heard comments like, well, I don't know she's young enough for the players have seen her as a possibility. What? So I had to wait till I got to my 40s for people to take me really seriously. So I think there's a huge disadvantage that everyone thinks would be an advantage. Like, it'd be an advantage and I wanted to be a cheerleader, but to work and be taken really seriously. I always have to be smarter. Like I'm working on my PhD in quantum medicine. I have so many certificates like I have to always prove like I'm actually smart. That's the most important thing about me. And what's interesting is that once I'm on the inside, I'm like their Mama, like I was a single mother of a young black man who's now six foot three tall and strong and powerful, an elite ballet dancer in Russia. So that's my advantage. Like, I can talk to them like I'm their big sister, or like their black Mama. And young black men, and older black men listen to black women. So that is a huge advantage, my race and my gender in relating to the guys because they know I get them. They know I've been there. They know I got their back, I'm looking out for them. And there's a sort of kind of inside track that they feel with me, even if I don't know them really well, just because I'm so comfortable, right? Like one of the players was calling me Auntie Wilde, you know, Auntie Wilde what are you doing tomorrow? Can I get a session? So there's this sort of it was I got good at my sneaker game. So if you ask sneakers they can look at and admire. Now you're speaking their language. So I felt like I had a few things working for me, it's to my advantage. Nike,
what advice would you give another fellow female that's coming up the ranks? that's trying to you know, follow in your footsteps? What are things that that you did well, that really helped kind of paved the road? And then what could you have done better?
It's interesting, I tend to be a really friendly person, like so friendly, that all those memes people see on Instagram, like, Don't take my kindness and flirtation. So I got a little less friendly when I was talking to people. I still am myself, right. But I had to pull back in the friendliness until people could understand I wasn't just overly outgoing, because I can be right. One thing is funny when I first did my interview for a team a few years ago, I just went like in kind of sloppy clothes. I mean, I wasn't sloppy, but just didn't worry about my looks at all. And then a few months in, I changed and went back to my normal self. And I just noticed some looks like Oh, you're looking for attention? I've no, actually I'm not looking for attention. I look like this normally, I just downplayed myself. So I hate to say that. And I don't know if that's always true. I really don't think that's a fact. I just feel like sometimes as women, we're taught from the little girl age, that if we look pretty, we will get things we like, and I don't think that's really true in pro sports. I also would say networking. I mean, the reason I got into the NBA is because when I was 19 years old, I had a post coach that my neighbor told me about who just wanted to be a mentor, Clippard Ray, he won the world championship in 74, with the Golden State Warriors. And I was so ignorant of who he was, I was just five minutes late to our practice session at the outdoor court at Highland Park High School in Chicago. And I just had the best summer, I mean, and then I kept in touch. And back then we didn't have I didn't have a cell phone. I was young and didn't have the money for one. So they might I don't think we actually had them like Magic Johnson probably had one, but the average person didn't. So I just kept in touch. And I let him help me build a network. And building a network is the number one thing to do. I constantly preach this to my kid. I'm like call people when you don't need anything, not when you need something, stay in touch, give value, send people articles, you find an article that they're in, send it to them, they might not have seen it. So building network was a number one thing then people took me seriously, when I went to get a job in the NBA, I could say, hey, I've known Clifford Ray for 19 years, and he can vouch for me. And that is golden. It's like, Oh, she didn't just show up on the scene. We know of her. She's like a sister to us. Because it's really a brotherhood and a sisterhood when it comes to these pro leagues. Yeah, I
mean, I mean, you know what they say you get someone to wring your horn, the sound will carry twice as far. Those are great tips, by the way, and I highly recommend all of those things. Like if you think of them, you see something that reminds you of them. And now it's so much easier. You can send a text and an email, tweet it or whatever it is over there, you know, chosen medium that works best is but there's tons of ways to get someone's attention. So a big fan of that, how are there other things that you recommend? Are there other people that you've stayed in contact with or that you've helped, that you can recommend or that you can that you've done?
Well, I definitely made quite a few contacts. starting early age, whether it was was athletes, or athletic directors and colleges and I joined organizations. I mean, I joined the black Coaches Association, I joined the Association of applied whatever of psychology, I mean, tell you the name of it. But I would join organizations and make connections that way. So I could build my network really wide. But then also, building my network down is important where I don't just talk to someone once a year, or once a month, they might hear from me, not just on the holidays. But when I can offer something of real value. And as I've gotten a little older, I realized that it's very important because I don't believe the universe is going to bless anything that I do unless I'm reaching back and pulling someone else along. So I don't only build a network I help others build one. And I'm always willing to share and give a hand to a young person who shows up. And it's funny because I actually realized I'm at a little bit of a disadvantage and I'm not 25 because everyone wants to help a 25 year old Oh yeah. Because that was what I got. I actually was talk to this guy named Buddy of the Dallas Mavericks when I was 23 years old, I had this huge idea for community projects. I mean, I didn't know anything, I just wrote a letter back then he just wrote letters, not emails. And he called me and I had a meeting. And he sat there listening for an hour and telling me how Mark Cuban could do this huge community program. And he listened. He gave me his attention again, you all as pointers and feedback on it. And I look back now it's like, wow, that kind of meeting is impossible to get these days. But a 25 year old who's eager can probably still get those types of meetings.
So true. Let's go back to Buddy for a second did did anything? You know, come of that. Did he give you any advice?
Oh, he did. He just he told me that. He said, I love how bold you are on the move, you have an idea. So he was telling me, if you have a great idea, go for it. What happened is I actually got the head coaching job at the University of Dallas, like a month or two later. So I was no longer trying to work in an office of the NBA. He also said to me, interestingly, he said, being on staff with an NBA team is not a very lucrative paycheck, I would recommend that you find a way to partner with the NBA in some other way. Which is interesting, because I actually realized that was kind of turning out to be true when I got my most recent job. And I came in as a consultant. Because if you're on payroll, there's a whole different mindset compared to a consultant. So he told me about being on staff. And so I think ever since then, I was like, I'm gonna have my own company. So even though I worked as a basketball coach for many years in colleges, I really worked to always have my own business on the side, and to continue to build my business so that I was never just being an employee, but I could kind of write my own ticket and actually write my own salary. And that I think, is where it gets really powerful. When you think about the thing that what buddy told me, it's funny, cuz just the other day, his name popped into my head, I was like, I've got that guy still around, because Dallas Mavericks haven't made a lot of changes since the 90s. So let's think I should look him up and let him know, Hey, man, I made it.
I hope you do. And I hope you wait for this to come out. And then you share that because that's another instead of the article, you can forward him an interview.
Yes, that is exactly what I'll do.
And we're done. It will give me the name. And I'll try to make sure that we tag him or tag the Mavericks, okay, if he's still there, but something else that I think you brought up, and in case people it's not, didn't hit him straight in the eye, right in between the eyes, when it comes to networking and building the relationships is you got access to great information he gave. And that's what that that's what building these relationships can do. So and a lot of times people don't understand that. You know what networking is, and you nailed it by talking about giving and providing value, and being in a position that you can do that. Because just in case you do need something. That's the proper mindset. But what you also you got out of that relationship was information that was so valuable. And that's what these relationships do. Most people go after the job in the NBA, and they now you're in a position where you're controlling your own destiny, you're making your own money, you're not unnecessarily someone else's dime. And to me, that's powerful.
Yeah, it's actually it's a really great feeling. Because I realized that per hour consultants make like five or 10 times more than staff and the average staffers, right, I mean, I'm not comparing myself to Frank Vogel or something like that. But the salary and the money you make an hour is a very different. One thing you actually reminded me of is I have a really good friend, who's always a works in Hollywood does some production stuff. He's always saying, make sure you ask questions. So I met this 102 year old guy, Sam Sachs, I believe is his name. He's a veteran of the armed services. I'm not even sure which one but I met him at a Clippers game. And people were walking by him and stopping to take pictures because there's something about this man, that was so beautiful. He was obviously 100 years old, like you could just tell. And I leaned down to get my picture with him. His I think his daughter was taking pictures. And I said, no one else asked him a question. I said, Would you please tell me what the one thing you feel that I should know, for the rest of my life that I should do? And he was so sweet he leaned in and he gave and kind of gave me this beautiful smile. And he said, just always choose first to be happy. Don't worry about the details, but choose happiness first. And it just was so powerful for me because I was dealing with things job stuff relationship. And I was like, Wow, it's such a simple piece of advice. But it makes so much sense. Like, let me stop worrying about the details and getting caught up. Because there's so much more power and focusing on just let me just let myself be happy right here instead of overthinking. Right,
can I interject there, by the way? Yeah. You segue that so nicely with the relationships because 70% of happiness is derived from relationships. So interesting that you brought it up right here and from him. I missed his name.
I don't know if you got a I think it's Sam Sachs. I posted a picture of him on Instagram because I was the moment will never leave me like it's just a beautiful moment and I was actually wishing my son was in the states to meet him. It's like, I want everyone to meet him because he just gives so much love,
hmm Well, you know what everyone that's listening can look him up. Can you mind sharing your Instagram, I'll post also but you know, for those that are
I'm thirsty for Instagram followers, I'll admit it. So on Instagram, I'm Laura Mitchell, Wilde and wild has an E. So Laura Mitchell Wilde but trying to get Laura M Wilde and keep it simple, but it was taken so Laura Mitchell Wilde is me. And you'll see like unicorns and crystal balls and things like that. And then you'll notice me.
Okay, good. Because I know when I'm listening to a podcast, and I hear something, I'll sometimes pause it and I'll Google it or something, or Yeah, so so at least now they'll have I'm sure there's a visual for the listening, but now they can really see it. Yeah, I'll suck the creativity right out of them. So you work back to some of the people that you're working with? I mean, you're obviously dealing with the elite of the elite. Are there any common threads that you see amongst some of these elite athletes? Oh, yeah.
You know, it's funny, because once I really got up close and personal to like to NBA practices, I started texting all the young guys I knew, and I'd say, hey, just learn how to be a great shooter, and just work a little bit harder than the next guy. Because what's interesting to me is that, on some level, the elite, I feel like as humans are a little bit wired for survival first, which can make us lazy, a lot of effort to read extra books, we don't need to read a lot of effort to go and do things that aren't required of us as a human. So I feel like the difference between the athlete who doesn't make it and the NBA athlete, or the of the NFL athlete is that they're just a little less lazy than the average human. But I still notice I would actually literally be kind of blown away like it seems like, athletes are actually kind of lazy, like they're very singular focused, right? singularly focused though. They play basketball, you go to practice, and they don't do anything else, hardly at all all day, but they might play video games. So I was like, Oh, the NBA athlete. They have a little more talent, but they also just are working a little harder. But there's something that was interesting to me. I thought, oh, being a pro athlete, isn't that hard? No. I know, the pro basketball players who might listening might say, actually, it is hard. But what's different is that it there's like a small difference between the guys who don't make it and the guys who do and that confidence and a little bit of arrogance, I don't know if I can curse on here, but I'll just say that A hole have 1% asshole in you. You do the guys who are super nice, who make it sometimes, and I don't want to like promote people not being nice. And I only need a tiny shred. I don't need to have much of it. But there's something that is a slight amount of arrogance that's in every great athlete. And I think once they become great, they let go that like Michael Jordan when I met him when I was 19. Like I was working overnight in a white hand pantry in Highland Park, Illinois. And he was so rude. When he came into the store. It was just me and him at 2am he refused to sign the autograph. He was like my favorite player, my idol but then now that he's older, he's, you know, chilled out. But then you look at the movie that came out or the documentary series. I was like, Oh, he was just being great. And he didn't let down off that arrogance, when he could have but he did make his mark on humanity as one of the greatest to ever play the game. So I kind of in my mind forgave him like, okay, he just knew what it took to really get past all the doubt that can be created if you didn't have a little bit of arrogance like that. So it's interesting. I don't love that part about it, but my son has it. In fact, I've talked to him a lot about this. It's like, he's a great athlete. He's a professional ballet dancer, his girlfriend is a prima ballerina, like they are the stuff in Russia. But then there's this little bit of arrogance. And he's like, Mom, I wouldn't be great if I didn't have this. But yeah, you're right, you're right.
I let him How much is it? What's the difference between having like an edge or arrogance?
I've actually really started studying this. And there is I'm just gonna say like 1% of arrogance is enough. You don't need 2% or more. But 1% is enough. And there's definitely an edge like there's definitely something special that's inside. And I know that some people seem to be born with it. But it's also I believe that it's teachable as well, which I think most people off, you can teach that I believe in here.
Where do you see most of these athletes getting stuck? Is it the year nutrition? Is it their lack of discipline? Is it distractions or maybe just being surrounded by bad people?
I think it is distraction. But I think many of distractions are internal. I think they're like if we could listen to the voice of professional athletes next to the guy who didn't make it. I think the internal dialogue would be similar. But the pro athlete just has the moments of hearing other people tell him how great he is. And they get so much from other people telling them how great they are that I don't think they've built up their own internal feeling of greatness. And I think that's Where guys fall short is that their greatness is really built on, almost like there's an arena around them literally. And they're in the middle of the arena. And they get all their greatness feedback from the arena. And so some of the guys in the bubble didn't really thrive. But the ones who thrived had their own inner greatness, like no gladiators need the crowd, they need that input to remind them how great they are. But the guys who get it all the way, they have an inner game, and they're in their own zone, like they can thrive, they can stay healthy because of that. And I do feel like it's teachable that guys can learn to have that edge. That's interesting. So
you're saying kind of most of these athletes? And I'm generalizing. Yeah. But you know, they're all elite, for the most part. I mean, they didn't get there by accident. So on a scale of one to 10, Michael Jordan, let's call as a 10. Or a LeBron is a 10. Everyone else is they're all probably at like nine, five or greater. But what's going to get them to 969798? Is that edge or that mental? mental
prowess, right? Yeah, I think it's the Met. I I honestly, that's where you come in. Yeah. And I think the mental prowess is not always enough, because the problem was that the problem was just having mental prowess, as you can have an off day a little too often. Because unless the game is flowing through you, like most athletes, the game comes from them, they move their arms, they kick their foot out, they run with their arms and legs. And I really, you know, have, I can't say I've mastered this skill. But this is a skill where this is one of my superpowers, right is showing the athlete, the difference between letting the game come from you, or letting the game moves through you. And even with that, one of the pictures I worked with recently, I kept saying, hey, let the ball be thrown from you don't use your shoulder, let the energy the infinite energy come through you to throw that ball. And this dude is like, I mean, he's a major league pitcher, he's darts, he can throw so many pitches, because he recognizes that there's this replaceable infinite supply of energy that he can tap into. So he's not just gonna throw what his shoulder and throw, he's gonna use the power of the entire cosmos. I mean, that's when I get kind of woowoo. But it's like, yeah, you know what, I've seen it happen. So I've seen a guy Tell me, you can I can make it to whole game. And who talks about that
in 2020
You can go six innings these days there.
He got pulled out like, No, I'm ready. I can still pitch but they're just thinking like, well, in our, in our boxes of things that can happen that are okay. This is the amount of pitches we've kind of decided on as a society. And even though he's able to go more, yes, and now overcome belief systems about what his shoulder is capable of. Because as he will say, I've got a quantum shoulder.
I love that. Laura what would you say is the number one thing that has contributed to your success?
I think it's my resilience, but kind of through me, right? My resilience is, well, it's interesting, because I used to suffer from depression. Then I noticed that I did a lot of this work, I got a lot of sessions for myself, I learned how to get in the zone, and I started living there. And even when things go bad, like I joke with my mom, like, I will try to lie in bed and pout, like I'm just gonna lie in bed and be depressed for a day, nope, an hour later up, like writing a book or trying to write a blog or read or audiobook online or read because I'm so curious. In the last week, during this whole quarantine time, there was a moment in a day where I thought, Oh, my gosh, there's that depression that I haven't seen for a decade, and it crept back in. And I gave myself a break, I said, you know what gee wiz, since the date, my birthday was March 19. That was the day that California lockdown. I was like, since March 19, you've been in a two bedroom apartment by yourself, mostly, you know, doing zoom working from home a lot. And you just only now had a moment of depression. And then I use my own tools. And I like looks in the mirror, and I cut up myself in a good way, like, you are resilient. And it just recognizing that I'm resilient and honoring that I'm resilient, having a little bit of reverence for myself, like, I have self reverence, but I didn't have an agenda. Most of us don't have a high level of self esteem or high worthiness. And if we seem like we do, it's often a little bit fake or false, right? It's like it's a, it's just an outer shell. But in the inside, really, I'm insecure. A lot of athletes are like that. So I think my resilience is really key in my ability just to lower wherever I am, right? Oh, the world's gonna shut down. Okay. I might be irritated about it. But I'm going to find a way to make something special out of it. Oh, this is changing. Okay. I am moved a lot as a kid. I think they say that pressure and stress as a child creates resilience in adults. So that's my favorite word, honestly, is resilience. So I keep that for athletes. And the reason I can teach you it's because I have it.
Awesome. So you'd love I keep two quotes on my lecture, tons of quotes, but I keep them on my desk. It's successful people begin their days where others end in failure. That's one of them. And another one is when you're going through hell keep on going.
Absolutely. I mean, I could brag about my failures, and I might one day honestly like, failing is such good feedback. Like if you can just be addicted to feedback when people when I meet people I'll show you how did you perceive me? What do you mean? No, I'm addicted to feedback. Tell me what you actually think, like, let me hear so that I can get better. So someone's got something negative to say about me. I don't own it as like true. But it's like, okay, that's a perception that helps me. And if I fail at something, that's fine, because I'm going to be great at something else. Instead of wasting my time here where I failed, I have an immediate piece of feedback, go somewhere else, go over here, try something new. I think that if we can be okay, failing, we're gonna be way more successful, because some people are really afraid of failing, like, I don't know, to me, I'm not afraid of failing, I'll go do something and try it out and be really committed to it. And that if I feel like it's not right, okay, switch. So I'm really open to changing direction in the middle of the air. Right.
That's great. You know what, I almost forgot. I can't believe I almost forgot. Was you talking about epigenetics? Oh, yeah. And I'm sorry to totally switch gears, but it just popped into my head and I didn't want to forget about that. Do you mind explaining epigenetics and how your work and how you work around with it?
Okay. Yeah. So, one of the ways I like to explain it is that if an athlete works with a really, and I'm not dissing on anyone, but if an athlete works with a really great psychologist, and let's say the psychologist gets that athlete to, from 62% to 70%, free throws, right, including during playoffs, I would say that an epigenetic specialist or someone like me, could get that athlete to 10% more without even touching the basketball. And this is
why can I interrupt for one second? 10% more from the 68% or
more from where they got to with them? Okay. So yeah, so mental training can take you really far it can. And then you add epigenetics to that, like I call my work, quantum player development, right? Or quantum sports medicine, because it's a combination of both. epigenetics can work really well with people suffering from disease, but it can also work really well with people suffering from mediocrity. And mediocrity shows up in our DNA sometimes. And I always say that, as a black woman, I tend to do more research on this, I'm looking at this a lot. So a young black athlete probably has in his DNA 5, 6, 7, 8 generations back, someone who was an enslaved person. And as you can imagine a black man back during slave times, it was not to his benefit to be wealthy, good looking, strong, powerful, smart, brilliant, intelligent, none of those things would have been good. So the PTSD shows up, as soon as you start to be great, oh, there's a creeping feeling that they can't really relate to, they don't understand what it is. So if an athlete wants to shoot free throws better, and he works with a shooting coach forever, but now he's a pro's pro athlete, like there's not a whole lot more shooting coach stuff that can happen. Sometimes you can have a shooting post that changes your game. However, if you look at the epigenetic markers, then possibly when he gets to the free throw line, and the crowd screaming, maybe he's got an epigenetic marker on his knee or his kidneys. And maybe that epigenetic marker is specifically related to either toxic chemicals that an ancestor absorbed by working in a field of toxicity, like literally a field, or perhaps it's from trauma, and there's a PTSD, epigenetic marker, so that literally this athlete, when he steps to the free throw line, and there's a screaming crowd around him, he doesn't realize it, but his DNA is quivering. And it's boost, because this moment is a little too familiar to his DNA. And it's a scary place. He wouldn't ever know that. And you're not going to get that out of someone in a regular talk session. But when you use intuitive epigenetic energy medicine, the intuition part of it would help a practice or like me see, oh, yeah, going seven generations back, there was a huge fear of large crowds, because what it meant was the last time, you know, when a great great grandfather heard a large crowd, maybe he was a nine year old boy. And that was the day he got taken away from his mother and never saw his family again. So if we, if we look back through the generations, and this is all scientifically proven stuff, like trauma affects the DNA. And epigenetic markers are like on the DNA strand, right. So an epigenetic marker could be like smoking, being overweight, eating bad food, and it could also be trauma. So when you use the intuitive epigenetic energy medicine, you pull away, the episodic marker, and now the athlete without even really having to do a lot of work suddenly just feels a little bit better at that free throw line. Because otherwise, when he steps in line to shoot a free throw, all the good work he's done in practice, goes out the door because it's fashionable now is tight, his muscles are tight. His bones are like shaking from the inside out. He doesn't know why. But he thinks I practice I'm ready for this because brains talking to his organs and his kidneys like Hey, dude, this is scary for us. And he's trying to overcome it. No, I was trained to say, I'm a great free throw shooter. I make my shots. So the athlete has this conflict that's inside that he probably can't hear. But his body hears it and that's why his body goes into fight or flight. So I'm kind of being long winded here, but that's why free throws get better with epigenetics, energy medicine.
So So how do you I mean, it's fascinating and I I completely agree with you. I know some neuroscientists that are studying something similar. Well actually they're studying this shouldn't say similar. They are studying this. So I've heard this before. But how are you able to identify their epigenetics? And what is it that you're doing that can help them get over that in into that zone?
Yeah, well, I work with a molecular biologist who's creating and she and I together putting together a way to train other people, because it's like, Oh, I can't be the only person on here working with athletes. This is too good to share this. So I am an intuitive practitioner. So for me, when I work with someone, I don't need them to tell me who their great grandfather was. I can literally ask the body. And so this is a pretty popular thing for holistic healers, which I happen to be one of them. So I asked the body, is it on the mom's side? And I can get an answer yes or no. Okay. Is it on the dead side? Yeah. And I can ask questions of the body. Is it further back to the dad? Yeah, grandfather? Yeah. Is it four generations back? No. Five? Yes. So I can actually intuitively come to the person or the place. And so many people have gone back to research, like the ancestor because sometimes it's just a grandfather, right? And so they go back and ask their mom, hey, did Grandpa do this. And the answer is often Yes. I had a girl one time who suffered from migraine headaches. She couldn't stop getting migraine headaches. And I said, I don't know why, but this is related to your grandfather. She goes, No, I didn't know him. So I know. But it's related to him. So find out from your mom, what happened with your grandpa? Because it's related to him. And it's like a trauma thing. This girl when asked her mom, what was up with grandpa did Why did he have headaches and the mother started, like burst into tears. The grandfather had committed suicide and had shot himself in the head. And the mom found the father and never told her kids that grandpa committed suicide. It's a girl suffering from headaches. And she was a young girl when she found her father, the dead in a gunshot wound. So I can just tell you that that story for me because I was adamant. No, it's your grandpa. And she goes, No, I think it's food. I was like, number one thing is your grandpa. So that really reaffirmed for me that happened about four years ago, reaffirmed that I'm on the right track of this work. Because I have athletes who have asthma. I'm like, Hey, I was coming from your grandma's side, your mom's side, her mom. And it's actually related to this. And they'll you know, I don't know about that. And then the mom will call me Wait a minute, what do you say to him? This is so true. How do you know that? So they get really excited about it. So when you start working at the intuitive level, or from the zone, it's all the same? Then you know, things you wouldn't know. I tend to be so intuitive that gets me in trouble sometimes. You know, I'll say something to someone. They're like, would you even did you read my phone? Look at my emails. No, I just felt this. I was in the zone a lot today, and I just got information.
And you can always Have you always been an empath.
Yeah, I have been the light when I didn't know this was why but when I was 21 years old, I was driving down the highway and I started sobbing. My best friend was next to me. She's like, what happened? I said, something happened to my boyfriend's like, What do you mean? We just saw him 30 minutes ago, he's fine. You know, something happened. I got to turn around. And we had actually, at this point, been discussing it. And I just felt compelled to turn the car around. She insisted on getting dropped off in the dorms. So I make this extra drive. I drive back 90 miles. I go to the restaurant, where he worked and he had been murdered. And my best friend was shocked. Like, how did you know? And everyone kept saying, How did you know? Because we didn't have cell phones. We had pagers, I mean, I'm dating myself, right. But that was when my mom kept saying, honey, you have a gift. And then the detective who was working the case said, you have a gift for this like you. I was like, What gift? Like, how did you know? I'm like, I don't know. I just felt it. And then two years later, I was in a sort of it wasn't really a mass shooting, but it was a gunman loose in the mall. And right before he walked in the door, I told my family it was time to leave. And I was like, move like packing the bags shoving stuff in the purse, like in a panic. We have to go. And they're like, why we just got here I'm about to buy food. And I'm Are you my brother. And this guy comes in and, you know, shoots up the mall, and the guy at the table next to us was actually killed. So we kind of made a family rule if Laura says it's time to go
it's time to go.
And even when I saw my for my work, I was killed. I had been in the same general vicinity as him. And there was a guy there. And when the detective said when did you last see your boyfriend, I said, Oh, this guy must have done it. And he's like, what? He goes, how do you know? I was like, well, he was there. I think he must have killed him. And it was so weird. He's like, does he own a gun? I was like, I don't know. So the detective from that case, and the mall case both told me I had an intuitive gift and I should use it. So a mere 10 of 10 or 11 years later, I started thinking about it. So it took me a while for it to really kick in. But then once I started using it, I just use it to learn how to do healing work and it feels pretty wracking. Sometimes it's a great gift to have and to cultivate. And also everyone is intuitive. It's just a matter of cultivating this. Like, if I never lifted weights, my biceps are flabby. I'd be like, I don't have good biceps. I wasn't born with them. And the guy at the gym would be like, No, just train your biceps like, it would be so obvious that I didn't train my biceps or I had better ones. And to me, it's that obvious about intuition. If you just train your intuition, you'll have it. It's not, you know, reserved for the few. It's for everyone. It's just how to listen to it and how to build that muscle.
Well, like you said, you let it come to you to go through you.
Yeah, absolutely. You that's the perfect summary for what I say. Let the game flow through you.
Well, gosh, there's so many more questions. Let's do this. Let's wrap up. I'm going to do I want to do a speed round with you. Okay. I'd like to, I'm just gonna say a couple things. And I want you to tell me the first thing that comes to your mind, Does that sound good? I love it. All right, LeBron James, or Michael Jordan.
LeBron James. I know the only one on the planet.
All right. Exercise nutrition, or breathing.
Nutrition, interesting.
Meditation.
Life Changing Eastern
medicine.
The answer? depression.
old news. Oh, I
like that. That's fantastic. Man, Lord, this has been a lot of fun. You have so many takeaways, whether it's just the mindset getting in the zone, the way to think about things, your stories, your story, relationships. Again, I knew it I knew coming into this is going to be difficult because there are so many of these topics that we could have gone on massive rabbit holes. So I want to kind of leave the door open to potentially having you come back and exploring some more holes with me.
Absolutely. I think there's a term to this young woman made up and she called it a multi potential light. And I love that you let me be me today. So thank you for letting me be that Pisces flown to the water over here over here over here because I love it. I love that part.