To learn how to be wise about discomfort. One of the interesting questions around discomfort is to consider what is the function of discomfort? What's the message? Certainly, as we asked yesterday, but what is the, what is the function? How does it what does it do for us and is a function healthy for us are not healthy, supportive or not supportive. And certainly there are times when we feel uneasy about something that we should feel uneasy about that feels like it's not a healthy thing, or ethical thing, or something, or a safe thing. And so the function of our discomfort is to let us know, sometimes before we're consciously aware, that oh, there's something here too, to be careful for. But what sometimes the function of discomfort is to have us hold back, have us restrict ourselves or limit ourselves or closed down. Not because there's any real danger out there. But because we're on we are uncomfortable or uneasy about things which are good, things are healthy. That somehow we assume there's threats where there is no threat. Or we project we bring along with us a concept definition of who we are, and who we need to be. That maybe is not necessary. But it's the definition, the self concept, which is we feel the watch can be threatened here. Or there's discomfort because we are for what we want or what we don't want or we don't want to be, we want to be seen by others in a certain way. And we're you know, so there's, there's ways in which then, when we're uncomfortable, we hold ourselves in check. And in times when we actually limit ourselves unnecessarily where it's actually we don't avail ourselves of the goodness, the wonderfulness, the potential that's here. And one of the ways that's kind of dramatic is when we feel uncomfortable about love and comfortable about warm feelings and warm heartedness that we might have, or that others have. We might feel like you know, threatened by people's warm heartedness or feel like we're obligated to return it or do people favor, or we just were uncomfortable with intimacy, uncomfortable with kindness, sometimes some people are. Or were uncomfortable with expressing kindness, expressing love expressing care. And some people feel very uncomfortable with expressing gratitude, even though it's that Thanksgiving. Saying thank you to others who are expressing our appreciation of others. And sometimes we're uncomfortable simply state to stay present without saying anything without actively expressing love or friendliness, or, or gratitude. But we're afraid of just staying fully present, aware, receiving whatever is happening in the room. When the what's happening is good. People are being happy and celebrating and maybe people are appreciating you. And so then we don't feel that we don't allow ourselves to to to be with it. So one of the interesting issues around the word comfort and discomfort is that the word comfort comes from the French word for strength, with fault with with a disc related to the English word force, but we're not talking about a force here which maybe seems aggressive, but rather a strength with strength, with power. And so a discomfort is can be seen as a way in which we limit we hold back we killed in check our own strength. To be comfortable is not to be have a pleasant, abiding and have a wonderfully comfortable couch still to live in, but rather in the dharma. Comfort is to have a delightful, peaceful but strong kind of inner strength in our attentiveness in our presence, in our posture in our ability to be With what is
and this turns the concept of comfort and discomfort around a little bit. And, and so that the idea of not letting discomfort, limit us, not like discomfort, allow some natural life force to blossom and bloom and be present in a peaceful way, and maybe even a gentle way. Because when we're with people, sometimes we want to be careful that we're not asserting our will on them, or asserting our power on them or strength. But in the dharma, this practice we do. The movement is in fact, to becoming strong. Buddhism is often associated with being peaceful and calm. And that seems to go against the grain for could being strong kind of goes again against the grain doesn't seem like the two are compatible. But they are, then that's kind of the wonderful thing that it's possible to be have strength, in calmness, strength in peacefulness. And, and, and one way to have that as we're not diminishing ourselves, when we're peaceful and calm, there is a embodied attentiveness that we're there and present for what goes on. We don't need to go to the back of the room and pretend we don't count. We don't need to be in the middle of the room, and be the one who has all the attention. But we could be fully in the room in some balanced way. That is, with our with a kind of peaceful strength, that peaceful confidence that here I am. And the advantage of that is that when we are present in a, in a confident way, in a strong way where strength is there, we actually have more to offer other people, our love for others, our kindness for others, our friendliness for others, is, is kind of has more, I want to say embodiment has more strength has more fullness to it. You know if I'm kind of slumped in the couch completely slumped and half asleep and, and and kind of look over to someone and say, oh, yeah, you know, you know, I think you're great, you know, and then I fall asleep. You know, it's there's no strength to it. But if I'm standing with someone, I walk up to them and unthreatening way. And just really, they're in a strong way and say, I really appreciate you that appreciation has so much more value than then, you know slumping in the couches kind of mumbling something before I fall fall asleep. So maybe a dramatic contrast but but today in other times, when Be careful with how you restrict yourself or limit yourself with your discomfort. Discomfort one of the functions is to limit us is to protect us when it's necessary. But we often succumb to it when it's not really necessary. And so what we learn in meditation, to be have a simple embodied attentiveness, and really be here for our experience, without pulling back or collapsing or cowering or just to fully hear and not asserting ourselves, not insisting on who we are. But just hear it a full way is something that we can learn to do. If we learned how to be wise about our discomfort, how to recognize when it's there, how to recognize how we how it causes reactivity, the hindrances come up and we and they take over knowledge rather than discomfort and how we might limit ourselves and define ourselves through the discomfort. We can learn how to stay grounded and present in the midst of this discomfort to breathe through it to to know it's there, but not let it limit us. To be able to tell someone how much you care for them or how much you appreciate them or how wonderful they are something in an appropriate way. It might be uncomfortable to do it. Maybe or you're shy or something. But it doesn't have to be
the discomfort of shyness doesn't have To limit us, and so this what we're learning and meditation to breathe with things and, and breathe through things and to allow things to be there, but still say present for the breathing, then we can learn to stay present for what the task at hand is, without being limited or defined by some of the inner voices or inner feelings that might keep us limited. So sometimes we can, we can relax and let go of our discomfort. Sometimes we can not let it limit us, and do what's wonderful to do in spite of it. And the advantage of really recognizing the discomfort is we get to maybe get the messages from it, we can pay attention to it enough to know whether it's we want to have it limit us, or we want to use our skills to be present in spite of it, and offer ourselves so it may be a comfort, we can translate now into English or something like with our life force. And discomfort is without our life force. And perhaps our life force when it's most healthy, most free, is a peaceful force. One that has a lot of space and room for warmth and kindness and friendliness, generosity, and respect. Appreciation for others. So in this day, please use these lessons as a way to live comfortably with your own life force, whether you're doing that alone or with other people. That to wonderful any day is a wonderful day to let your peaceful lifeforce arrive and offer us confidence, bring confidence and strength and presence to your life. And if you have time today to meditate little bit, even for 10 minutes, you might see if that supports this way of being so thank you very much. And may this day be a nice day for you and and I look forward to coming back here tomorrow. And then for the last day of the week. Thank you
