2022-10-13 Conditioned Consciousness (4 of 5) Loving, not Complaining

3:17AM Oct 14, 2022

Speakers:

Gil Fronsdal

Keywords:

emptiness

awareness

sense

blaming

complaining

contractions

care

hostility

compassion

consciousness

feeling

contracted

room

coagulation

condition

surface

capacity

empty

tightening

kindness

This will be the fourth talk on what had called conditioned to consciousness with this wonderful phenomenon a fact that we one way or the other, in our waking hours may be other times we're conscious or aware, we're conscious beings aware beings. And, and maybe that's enough to know. But then we also have some way of constructing a sense an idea of feeling of what it is to be conscious, as if there is something called consciousness, something that we can call awareness. And the danger of that kind of word is that we make it into a thing. And so then we tried to discover what is that thing. Whereas maybe it's not a thing, maybe it's more like a hologram. And that is kind of something a hologram. But is it a thing could do this. And then we get caught up in issues of linguistics and definitions, but but there's some this condition, consciences condition sense of what this being conscious is, has a lot to do with states of mind we have and attitudes we have and all kinds of things. And, and so today, I want to talk about the difference in consciousness, and awareness between blaming and loving, complaining, and caring. So when we spend time blaming, complaining, and cotton in the grip of those states, there is a recovery in the grip, there's a tightening, there's a narrowing, and, and often that tightening and narrowing of around those feelings, those ideas are closely connected to the sense of self. And it becomes kind of a, a, a lumping up a coagulation a, a condensing of a lot of different things, awareness, feelings, sensations in the body, attitudes, energies of thinking, where everything kind of gets you from getting a strong feeling of me, yes, me myself in mind, the self. And, and, and when the blaming is this is this place of contractions, oftentimes, that's a source of, or the the, the origin of this strong motivation to be blaming and complaining about things. And the paradox is that this tight place of self that can be felt experientially somehow is a it's kind of like a solid wall, that experiences the world will hit it. And, and it's, it hurts it or it threatens it or, you know, it's this wall is fragile, or whereas when that self coagulation, this contraction of self is not there, then the events of the world can still be known very clearly. But the known has a knowing has no weight that has no substance, it has no resistance, and what is no and just go travels right through. And we can still be responsible and take care of things. But it doesn't hit anything. It doesn't reinforce that coagulated that contracted sense of self. And so the blaming and complaining is kind of this world and universe of self and other and conflict and tension and in which there's awareness gets contracted, get small and tight. gets filled with that. As the as we learn to sit quietly and shed the contractions of the mind, tightness of the mind, things we're holding on to and clinging to, then the preoccupation with complaining and blaming, will quiet down the motivation to be hostile this sense of hostility within which was part of the same complex will settle. And, and then awareness has a chance of not being so congested with a lot of concerns, a lot of feelings, a lot of this, a lot of this self that we can live under this contract itself, this tight place of where we're caught up in ourselves. And

and so the sense of awareness then This capacity to sense or feel that being aware, becomes more and more empty of all this gunk, all this stuff. And this emptiness is a phonetic fantastic thing. Because we then to be aware of emptiness, there's awareness of the emptiness. And but emptiness can grow in a certain way and have no boundaries can be as big as this room, because a cathedral because the space over the ocean. And but the, but that which knows, it kind of begins to share some of the qualities of that it's kind of part of that we construct this idea of, of what consciousness is, from the way that we know the way that not knowing, sensing, feeling, or wearing kind of, kind of is and if it's more and more empty, it has different characteristics. And part of that carry part of that is that the more empty it is, it allows for something deeper, to surface and be present. And then I say to call that something, the fit into a family of love. And I think we find many spiritual traditions will say something like this in Buddhism, sometimes especially Mahayana, Buddhism, they equate deep experience of emptiness with compassion, somehow that emptiness and compassion arise together, or there's compassion in emptiness. And, and, and this wonderful kind of phenomena of how some way or there is some sense of emptiness they talk about is coterminous with compassion, or impregnated with compassion or something really wonderful. And, and so, too, we have this capacity to nurture others, parental nurturing of children is a deep instinct we have, we have capacity to care for the well for others, like a nurse who tends and cares, maybe lovingly, and, and warmly for whoever has been wounded or hurt or sick. And maybe even someone they don't even know. But they, there's a care, there's a kindness, there's a warmth that comes and can come in that kind of caring. So there's kind of amazing capacity that as awareness feels more expansive, more peaceful, that it's, it's more empty in a certain kind of way. There's a room for something to surface in it, that doesn't detract from that emptiness. Because there's no contractions, no tightening up around it, like there is with blaming and complaining. But the the mind stays open, the heart stays open. And then and then it could have penetrating at all or oozing from it or radiating can be goodwill, kindness, friendliness, care, tenderness, warmth, compassion, sympathy, empathy, and then maybe just plain old fashioned love. And this is one of the great things of this kind of deepening of practice is to have that kind of begin to surface. And for some people, it's certainly my case, that my own capacity for compassion, kindness, loving kindness, Metta was not something that I cultivated a work that developing but it surfaced as I in my practice, as I matured in this Buddhist practice, it there was room for it, and something began to emerge and to grow, that you know, changed my life around this family of love kind of experience, you know, we have and it felt kind of like this was what was in there ready to come in, in the open space of awareness. Quiet settled. And so

So I would like to propose to you that complaining and complaining like blaming, blaming when a complaining way, is really a waste of time for you. It's really a form of undermining yourself. In fact, all hostility is an undermining of yourself. Your hostility if you have it, your hostility keeps you hostage non hostility frees you from captivity. Hostility makes you a hostage. Your own hostility makes you a hostage. Non hostility frees you from captivity. It's that dramatic. And, and so. So check it out. If you have a tendency of complaining, especially if you have a tendency, but even if you have an occasion to complain, and with that kind of complaining, be blaming someone else, you are then giving someone else responsibility or your for your happiness and your peace. Don't be a hostage, don't give away your piece to someone else that way. Live in your own piece, take responsibility for it, don't sacrifice it. If you need to take care of something a problem in the world. It's chances are it's possible to do it to do it even better. If you don't complain, and you don't blame. Maybe you can do it better. When you're kind, supportive, loving, caring, compassionate, so much better that sometimes it's better to wait to address a problem until you have some modicum of goodwill and some decrease of the blaming, blaming and the hostility. So thank you very much, and may your conditioned consciousness nourish you with love