2020-12-30 Brahmavihāras: Equanimity (3 of 5)

Insight Meditation Center14min

Gil Fronsdal

00:01

So, the topic for today is to continue the discussion from yesterday. So the general topic is equanimity, and equanimity as a form of care or love for the world, for others - to not be all bothered by what's going on with others and people and ourselves, and be able to keep a kind of steadiness of mind, calmness or ease of mind, so that our love is not agitated by the challenges of this world - the challenges of people and others, what goes on.

Gil Fronsdal

00:43

And in particular, as I've been saying, is the challenges. So the mind doesn't get caught up in pursuing, engaging, doing, trying to fix all kinds of things that disturb our love and equanimity - too quickly wanting to fix things. The other is not getting caught up in repulsion, pushing away, and not being able to stay present - or going away from what's going on, closing down.

Gil Fronsdal

01:15

But to be able to stay open and wise, without anxiously getting involved unnecessarily or inappropriately - when we can't do anything, when it's not appropriate for us to try to be involved, or to fix or do something. There are many reasons for that. Why it's not appropriate to actually actively get involved.

Gil Fronsdal

01:41

One is that sometimes it's better to let people find their own way. And we can offer our support in terms of our presence, our appreciation, and our encouragement. But if we do everything for other people, then we don't let them grow strong.

Gil Fronsdal

01:58

There's this beautiful story that went around some years ago - and that of a person I don't know if it's just made up or true - but it's a person who comes across a cocoon with a butterfly, which is about to be born. And the butterfly is struggling to come out of the cocoon. And the caring person who wants to help, and pulls in some of the threads to loosen up the space so the butterfly can come out. And when the butterfly finally comes out, the butterfly falls to the ground, and never flies, and dies. What the caring person doesn't know is that only in the struggle to get free of the cocoon, can the butterfly lubricate its wings enough to be able to fly properly. So the struggle is needed for the butterfly.

Gil Fronsdal

02:53

And so one of the reasons not to get too involved in other people's struggles is when, when and only when, for example, when it only but when they need to kind of be left alone to let them find their own way and learn and develop and strengthen. And if we do it for them, they never grow. They never face themselves.

Processing audio...