Sometime when I get something on my mind, it's hard to get it off, such as the case this week with some of the things, and particularly this morning that I want to talk to you about. If you read the family report, you know that this coming Saturday, if the Lord wills that our oldest son, Samuel, will marry his fiance, Taylor in Athens, and I have the the good fortune of performing that ceremony, and we look forward to that. So I've been giving some thought to what I want to say to them. And then a week from tomorrow, Joseph tomberlin and Chloe Abernathy will join their lives together in holy matrimony, as we say, and they have asked me to perform that ceremony, and I'm honored to do that. Joseph and Chloe are here this morning. I'm grateful to see them. Several among us have been married recently. Several who are visiting with us have been married recently. And a few weeks ago, I had a conversation with someone, and over the course of that conversation, that person said something about a couple that I've known all my life. Well, let me rephrase that, all their lives. And the person talking to me said, Well, they're they're divorced. Either they are divorced or they're in the process of being divorced. And I was shocked. I've known this couple all my life. Well again, let me rephrase that, since they've been married, and that's been probably over 30 years. And it never dawned on me that this couple never, ever, in my wildest thought, would I have thought that this couple would have separated and divorced. Problems? Sure. I mean, all married couples have problems. Occasionally there's difficulties. We all understand that, those of us who are married, we understand that sometimes there's a weed every now and then in the bed of roses, right? But when I was told this news, I asked, say that again. Let's make sure we're talking about the same people. And of course, I knew that we were and then I was told this couple's had problems since day one. And I thought since day one? As if to say, from the first day they were married, they had problems. And it wasn't just they've had difficulty, it was though they've had problems. And so that's been on my mind. That couple who, at least in terms of observation are no longer couple. They've been on my mind a lot.
I have lessons. I have a series of lessons that I preach from time to time. I don't remember when I preached them here, when I last I preached them here, but the theme of the the sermons and the lessons are about marriage, and the theme is marriages that thrive and not strive. Because I think that's what God wants. I think it's what he demands, quite frankly. I think it's a little bit of an understatement today, just that's what he wants. I think that he says that's the way it ought to be. And I know there are circumstances that are difficult. I'm well aware that even in this audience this morning, there are people who are hearing this lesson that your home is broken, your relationship with your spouse is broken. I get that. I understand that, and I am deeply understanding of that in terms of how I feel towards you. I know that's difficult, and I know it's hard to sit there and listen to sermons like this. I know that, but nonetheless, I think we need to look back, and as I said, because these upcoming ceremonies and what I've thought about from others, and what I'm thinking about and what others have you recently gone through, I mean, I just think it's a good time for me to say some things that I think would be good for all of us to consider. And I think that is what I want to do this morning.
So, I want to go back. I want to go back to what I call the get go. I want to go back to when God Himself, through the hand of Moses, wrote something about marriage that ought to permeate every facet of our lives, especially if we're married. So, let me read from Genesis two this morning, please. "And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him. So, out of the ground, the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air. Brought them to Adam to see what he would call them, and whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So, Adam gave names to all the cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam, there was not found a helper comparable to him. The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept, and he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. And then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, he made into a woman, and he brought her to the man. Adam said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed." This is a context, in a larger context that explains a lot of things. Explains a lot of things, foundationally and initially, to the children of Israel who had been among people who were polytheistic, paganistic even. Who didn't understand, not only the nature of marriage, but didn't understand the nature of themselves. And that's partly why I think this first letter of the Old Testament, if you will, this first book of the Old Testament is written so Moses could explain to those who are coming out of Egyptian bondage, look, I know what you've heard about multiple gods, but let me tell you what the real God says. Let me tell you about what the only true God says about marriage and other things and so that is expressed.
And I think that's why we need to go back. It's not just something that they read. It's something that we need to read. I want you to think about this. If we didn't have this, what would marriage even be? Would we even have marriage? Would sociologists, which is what a lot of them think they do, they think, you know, sociologists have come up with this, with this construct that says people ought to be joined together. It really doesn't matter what kind of people and whether they're male, female, male, male, female, female. It really doesn't matter, just as long as there's some social aspect to that that helps them live in life, that may be what we would all -- that may be what we'd have if we didn't have this. This is what God said, and that's why it's important, really, for everybody to go back and everybody to think about what it is that God said. Allow me this morning to shock the world right at the beginning of this lesson. Marriage is not about personal happiness. Fundamentally, marriage is not so you can be happy. Now you being happy may be a product of you being married, but that's not why you marry. You don't marry so you can be happy. And I understand, I say things in a marriage ceremony that help, that I hope, help people understand you can be happy in this but that's not fundamentally what you ought to be thinking about, and that's really what the point of this lesson is this morning. Marriage not being about personal happiness, I don't think that's hard to intellectually understand, because here's what happens when people who are married become unhappy. What did they do? They unhook. They just move apart from each other. And in many cases, they completely separate or divorce, but they disengage. And the answer is, well, I'm not happy. There may be other factors involved, but it primarily comes down to the point, well, I'm not happy. But that's not what marriage is about. I'm really glad about the fact that marriage is not always about being happy. I might not be married today. My wife may have thought, well, you know, I'm not happy today about being married to him, so I might just take off. I'm glad that's not what it's about. I'm glad it's different than that. I'm glad there's something more to that, because marriage is about God fundamentally, and that's what so many people don't understand. That's why so many marriages have no shot at lasting, especially lasting in a favorable, godly kind of way. There are marriages that last. There are marriages that last for various reasons, but the most fundamental and foundational reason for marriage that lasts is because two people want to follow God and do what God says. And because of that, then their marriage will be everything that it ought to be.
In Genesis two, what we just read, it this -- what we just read, is a far cry from what most marriages are today. Let me read, maybe not most, but many marriages are just a far cry from what a lot of marriages are. So, let me remind us again this morning for just a few minutes. What about marriage from the get go? What is it that God said? Well, we've read what he said, but I want to, I want to maybe elaborate a little bit, although we're not going to delve into it, we just don't have time this morning to develop any of these thoughts very much. But I just want you to get them in your head and think about what we're talking about. We're not going to develop them, I said, but we're mainly challenging each of us to consider what is being said. So, let me just kind of simplify for the sake of remembering and applying what we want to think about this morning.
First of all, let me suggest that marriage is reflection of God. It's a reflection of the very nature of God. And I would suggest that most people, if you ask them, as a matter of fact, most, most ceremonies, again, I use the term most, and that's probably not the right word to use, but, but there are many ceremonies who never reflect God in any of it. It may be a social construct. There may be other reasons why people get married, but very often, God is not any part of it, and that totally misses what God said about it, I think, in Genesis, one and two, especially when he talks about the very essence of what marriage is. It is a reflection of the very nature of God. Take your Bible this morning. I'm not going to have all these charts. I want you to work a little bit too this morning, physically. And you got to move your hand. You gotta pick up your Bible, pick up that iPad, whatever you got that tablet. Look at Genesis, one, beginning in verse 26, "Then God said, Let us make man in Our image, according to our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds are there, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. So, God created man in His own image. In the image of God, He created him, male and female. He created them." You know, dog's not made in the image of God. This building is not made in image of God. The only thing that's made in the image of God is man, mankind, human, humankind, male and female. That's what the text tells us, and that's how God made us. And verse 27 takes it even further, the last part of that, when he says, "he made them male and female." God, listen, listen, this is not hard. God made male and female. When God made you, He made you male or female. He did that through the the ongoing laws of nature. But he had a way. He created a way in which man could be born, and that was as a man or a woman or as a male or a female. And then he said in verse 24 chapter two, "therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." It's the male and female who leave father and mother, and they're joined together, and they become one flesh. Now that's what God said. And so many people abandon that. They just totally abandoned that, and they don't understand that here are two people who, if they understand who they are when they come together in multiple kinds of ways, but the idea is they become one flesh, and then they themselves work together. They function together and when they understand that that's what makes their marriage be what it ought to be. Marriage between a man and a woman is designed for a perfect union. It's designed perfectly. And anything that moves off that design is never going to end up the right way. It's never going to end up the right way. There are people who understand that that don't have good marriages. But the potential is there to have a good marriage, if you understand the concept that here are two people who have been joined together and they themselves can have the kind of relationship that's perfect according to what God said. So, marriage is a reflection of the image of God, and if you don't get that, then you start behind the eight ball. And there are people who are Christians who don't get that. And what will happen if that's not changed is it will not be a good result, and that's what happens a lot of times unfortunately.
The second principle that I would suggest you this morning that marriage is a model of God's love. Let me -- I just want to say something about love. What is it? We use that term all the time. You look at your spouse and you tell them you love them. What do you even mean by that? I'm asking you, what do you mean by that? Isn't that interesting? I think it's a great question. As a matter of fact, it's a question, I'm going to go back to that, but it's a question that the group Foreigner, there's a, you know, I love 70s and 80s music. Man, these guys now, man, they're old. They're older than I am, and they're still out performing. They're old. Some of them have died. You know, I don't know how many originals are there, maybe one or two, but you know, you know how that works, one dies and another one comes in. Y'all know how that works? Well, I like this group. Now, like a lot of groups like them, some of their songs are not what they ought to be, but this song asks a good question. "I want to know what love is." Man, when I thought about that song, when I was thinking about this lesson, I thought about this song because I said, Well, I like to know the answer that myself. I want to read you some lyrics from Foreigner. This is free. I know I don't do this much, but I thought this was interesting, because listen to what it says. He says, "I've got to take a little time, a little time to think things over. I better read between the lines, in case I need it when I'm older, this mountain I must climb feels like a world upon my shoulders. Through the clouds, I see love shine. Keeps me warm as life grows colder." I'm speaking this and I'm singing in my head, you don't want me to do that. "In my life, there's been heartache and pain. I don't know if I can face it again. Can't stop now. I've traveled so far to change this lonely life. I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. I want to feel what love is. I know you can show me." You know the problem with those lyrics? You can't show me. Nobody can. The problem with those lyrics, it's a great song. I think the lyrics are good. It's mentally challenging. It's the right question, but it's the wrong place to go for the answer. But there is an answer, and the answer is the fact that God's love is the model for a love that a husband and a wife ought to have for each other.
I want you to turn over to Ephesians five. This is where you're going to -- it's where you're going to get the answer, Ephesians, five, you ready? Beginning in verse 22 here's the answer to what God's model for marriage is. You ready? Verse 22, "Wives submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. If the husband's the head of the wife, Christ is the head of the church, and he's the savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands and everything. Husbands love your wives. Just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of the water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So, husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." I'm just going to stop there. Not because the rest of it's bad, it's great, but I think you get the point. I think the point is specifically that when you as a husband or a wife, need to understand what love is, don't ask each other. Now it may -- the object of it may be each other, but don't ask each other. If you're a husband, what you need to do? You need to look at what Christ has done with the church. That's what you need to do. That's what I need to do. He gave Himself for her. He loved her. And if you're a woman this morning, if you're a wife this morning, don't ask women across the world, what does it mean to love your husband like you should. That's what somebody else says. They may be right, but that's not where you get the answer. You get the answer from a place like this. A wife submits. She respects. And again, I'm not going to get into all what that says that word's not a bad word. Submission is not a bad word. Submission is the very thing that helps a relationship go, just like loving and being a leader in a relationship is the very thing that helps people go. Some people don't like the fact that men should lead and women should submit. Some people don't like that. But when it's understood in the biblical context, what God said is done, that's what that's the way it works. If you want it to work like it needs to work. The model is God, respecting and leading can be fun. It can bring happiness, sure, and it's the only thing that can because it's what's demanded of people who want the right relationship, a relationship defined by doing what God says. There are no other good options. Somebody says, You know what, I want to be married. We have a relationship, but we don't want to do what God said. That's fine. Nobody making you. Nobody makes you do what God said in any facet of your life. There's nobody who's making you do that. But here's what you need to understand, if you want it to be the best that it can be, it always needs to be the way God wants it. Always. When a husband loves and leads and a wife respects and submits, what happened? What happens? Fireworks, forever. Some of you here, married, you here married, you're sitting there going fireworks? Yeah, fireworks because it's God's way. It's not just a few good years or a few good days or a few good hours. It's God's way. And what that does, it creates an environment in which it's not without its problems, it's not without its difficulties, it's not without its moments, but fundamentally, it is about what God wants, and that'll always make you the happiest.
And then finally, as I say, marriage is the work of God, and don't let that point get lost. Too often, I think, God's role in marriage is maybe not forgotten, but I think it oftentimes is put on the back burner. Turn over to Matthew 19. This is a passage that Landon read for us before I started the lesson this morning. This is Matthew 19. Before I read this, let me say I think sometimes that the God's role in marriage sometimes is lost through the years because we don't see him. We don't -- you don't wake up in the morning and you walk into the den, and there he sits as a reminder to say, You know what, you're married, and today you're married because of me. It's my design. You need to live according to what I say. He's not there. H's there, but he's not there. He's not there physically. He's not there. We don't see him physically. And so I think sometimes, because we don't see him, we can't see him, and we need to see him. And so in Matthew 19, I'm not going to take the time to read everything that Landon read, but the conclusion of that, and the reason that Jesus said to those Pharisees on this occasion, what he said about the reason that people need to stay together and they need not divorce is because, in verse six, he says, "Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate." When I stand before these couples on Saturday and Monday, and when I do ceremonies, I'm not joining people in marriage. It's not because I'm some great person to say, You know what, because of who I am, I'm going to make y'all husband and wife. It's not me. And when I do these, I may not always say it to the couple, but I'm always reminded this is not about me, I don't have some special place. I'm appreciative always to be asked to perform ceremonies like that, and it is an honor. Just like yesterday, it was an honor for Harold's family to ask me to be a part of that service. But as I hope, I tried to do, that yesterday had nothing to do with me or really, anyone else here, it had to do with God and what a death can help us think about. And really in a marriage, what is a marriage? What can it help those of us who who see it? What can it help us understand? Marriage is like the funeral, I made the point yesterday, and those of you who heard me do funerals, you know I make this all the time. It's not about the person who's dead. It wasn't about Harold yesterday, not really. We did some things to honor his memory and to think about him and that. I think that's a good thing. I think that's right. I think that's what we ought to do. But it's not really about him. He's dead. And I don't mean that in a crude kind of way. His soul, his spirit, is gone to a realm which God oversees. So, what we, yesterday, needed to leave here thinking about was ourselves. It's just like at a wedding ceremony. I am talking to the two people who are standing before me. I'm talking to them primarily, but I'm hoping everybody hears me. I'm hoping everybody evaluates their own relationship, because it's God that pulls people together, it's God that forms the union, and so Jesus insisted man, man doesn't need to try to separate it. Man can't separate that. Therefore what God has joined together let not man separate. And the idea is, let him not separate thinking that he can somehow do that. Man doesn't have that right. But God does.
So, we need to remember these three things, marriage is a reflection of the very nature of God. Marriage is a model of God's love. Marriage is the work of God. And I'll tell you, the people who need to understand that are not the people who have just recently married. It's those of us who have been married for decades, those of you who have yet to marry, those of you who may contemplate marriage in the future, it's those of you who have influence over those who are already married. Again, I recently had a conversation here among people who, who know, younger people who, in the short time they've been married, they, because of their decisions, they've created problems. And the difficulty for the young man I'm talking to is, you know, how do I help these people? The answer that is, you show them what God said. That's always the answer. How do you help people? You show them what God said, what else? Well, you show them what God said. Well, what else? You show them what God said. Now, there are other things you can do. There are the practical things, but if we don't tell people what God said, we're not really helping. We may be putting off the inevitable, but it always goes back, always goes back to what God said, and we need to hear that.
Well over the course of thinking about these ceremonies, these upcoming ceremonies, and one -- a verse came across my eyes that I've never thought about in reference to marriage, never. I don't think I've ever thought about what I'm about to show you. But I think it's so adequately, in principle, explains about what it means, and I want to share it with you this morning. It's found in Romans 15, and the passage says, "Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus, that you may, with one mind and one mouth, glorify the God and Father of our Lord, Jesus, Christ." I understand the context. The context of Romans 15 is not marriage. It is about relationships. It is about dealing with people. And goes back and begins, really, in, I think, the beginning of chapter 14, and it moves all the way into chapter 15. But what Paul is saying is you need to be like minded toward one another. Can you think of better marriage principle to follow? That you need to be like minded toward one another, according to Christ, Jesus? And then look what will happen that you may with one mind, how you think, and one mouth, not just what you say, but what you do, that all of that might glorify the God and Father of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Isn't that a great passage for marriage? It's a great passage for anything. But isn't that a great passage to think about when it comes to applying these principles to life? Well, you know what this lesson's done for me? Practically, it's created a new a new outline for a wedding ceremony. But I can't use it for Joseph and Chloe because they're hearing it this morning. I might have to come up with something else. They may hear some of it again. But I wanted, I wanted us to hear it. I wanted us to be reminded. And wherever you find yourself this morning, I think these are probably things that all of us can apply. I hope that they are.
If you're in this audience this morning and you're not a Christian, you've never given yourself to Jesus Christ through an obedient faith, we would certainly encourage you to do that this morning. Let me make what I think is kind of a further application. If you live your life without Christ, you can be married without godly influence, without godly principles being applied. You can do that. You can have that relationship, just like you can be a human being. You do all that without God, but it's never going to be what it ought to be. Never, and you're never going to have the benefit that God intends for you to have. Because just like marriage, salvation is on His terms, and have what he wants you to have, you've got to submit to His terms. So this morning, that's the question you've got to ask. Do you want a relationship with God? If you do, I can promise you he wants one with you, but you're going to have to submit to Him, because He is God, and he wants to be the Lord of your life. If you'd love to do that this morning, we would love to help you. We can help you, not by our power, but by his power. We can pray for you. We can baptize you into Christ, but he is the one who would save you from your sins.
