In discussing mindfulness of emotion, the theme for today is respect. We started with relaxation and recognition and now respect. As we recognize, as we relax, it's easier to recognize, as we recognize, it's either easier to recognize how we are relating to our emotional life. Or we are we relating to have an attitude towards it, which is making it a bit more difficult than it needs to be. Do we identify with it strongly defining ourselves by it? Do we have hostility towards it? Do we not like it and push it away? Are we? Do we have shame or embarrassment about it? Do we have ideas that should be different? Are we trying to get rid of things? Are we trying to have certain emotions, certain feelings, certain attitudes to the world? And are we kind of forcing kind of maybe even sugarcoating experience by trying too hard? Or are we holding on to things, maybe we're happy yesterday, and so we're holding on to that idea that we should be. And the so the as we, as we started recognizing the component parts of emotions, we see the extra reactivity we might have to it. And seeing that reactivity is the beginning of respect. And I really like this word respect, because it's from the Latin that means to see again, too, as to, like spectacle to look again. And, and so to, to start taking a deeper look at what's here. And if we can see our reactivity, maybe we can put it aside enough that we can bring a respectful attention to the emotion itself. And, and, as if, as if it's allowed to be there. Because it disrespectful ways are often trying to change something or hold on to something and not allowing it to be itself. So the second look, there'll be personal look that he really taking a deeper look making space for it, allowing it for to be there. I like the idea that we're giving permission for our emotions to be present. And it's a little different than allowing, it's a little more active, it's like a choice, it's a decision I'm going to give I'm going to offer it's like a generosity, I'm going to offer permission for myself to be the way I am soaking. And as I said yesterday, I think it's sitting in meditation is a wonderful place to do this. Because you're kind of committed to sitting still, and not acting on whatever the feelings might be. So you know, there might be some anger that seems very undesirable, very strong. But in meditation, we give it permission to be there. And then And then, or if there's sadness, or grief, or if there's joy and happiness, we give permission for it to be there. As we give permission for it to be there and just allow it to be there without our reactivity or judgments, or were those put aside enough we can so we can really respect it, what's there, then I find it useful to think of emotions as either a message or a messenger as a message. Emotions are here, or they're not random. They're not incidental, accidental phenomena just to kind of come through they have some kind of message in them. And maybe the message is that asking for respect, maybe the message is to, to saying to you, here's an opportunity for you to discover how to be non attached, how to not cling or resist and be more, make more space. But it might be a deeper message, you know, so and then anger might be a message that we feel hurt or we feel threatened. Sadness might be a message message that we might feel the
you know, that we feel really impacted. We really care we love something and that'll have now feels, you know, feels sad or, but the love is underneath it. And so it's a message of love. And so rather than think of grief and sadness as a problem, it's a it's a manifestation, it's a movement, it's a process, that that love needs to go through, to be whole again, or to find its way again. But sometimes Messy emotions are messengers. And especially, I think of this way, when the emotions are afflictive, when the emotions are bringing suffering along to us that and then you don't want to kill the messenger, you want to really see what is the message here. So So, so the ability to respect and get permission and make breathing room allow for emotions to be there, that's such a big part of mindfulness, then we start kind of seeing more deeply through the cracks of it, what else shows itself. So it's not digging, it's not analyzing, but feeling our way deeply into the emotion, what else is there. And so if it's with anger, perhaps what's there with it is hurt. What's there with it is, is fear. And that is what needs our attention. That's probably that's more primary. And so the messenger is pointing to these deeper, underlying kind of feelings that are there. If there is grief, sometimes the messenger is that there is love. And it's like, Hey, have you really take into account how much their love there's been about what you've lost? Sometimes the message of, of, of despair, is a message of feeling fear, or feeling inadequate in some way. Sometimes the message of the messenger is that it's time to take a deep, honest look at the self identity issues, the way we do find ourselves the way that we insert ourselves, me, myself and mine into our life. And some emotions have to do with that either the self self identity, self definition we have, has been threatened. And so boredom, for example, sometimes is a symptom of whatever is happening around has no bearing on my self concept, how I like to just find myself or assert myself in the world, no one's praising me. And like getting any real kind of praise. And no one's criticizing me, both of those, which are very riveting for some people. And without either one of those, this situation has no bearing I don't, I'm not building up myself in it, or threatened with it. And so it's boring situation. So bored. And sometimes the whole, you know, has to do sometimes with a complex of self identity, sometimes hostility, sometimes fear, sometimes all the emotions are closely connected to how threatened or how supported our idea of who we should be, is. And so by really respecting emotions, taking your time making room for it, and allowing it, then we can start seeing the underlying kind of processes are going on, that are deeper. So sometimes you can ask, you know, what is the message here, in this emotion, and, and that way, also, it's very respectful of emotions. It's kind of like, they all have something to say. They all that they're not accidental, incidental. They're all represent some deeper thing that's going on. It doesn't require analysis when you do Vipassana practice. But what it involves is this kind of more sensitive looking this more sensitive, being present, breathing with taking keep making room for it, allowing it to be there, so that we can hear the subtler messages that are going on with it, we can see the subtler process that goes on. And part of this permission for emotions to be there part of this respect for emotions, is that
the emotions themselves have the wisdom, to process themselves to find their way to peace. If we make room for it, if we really make space for it if we don't interfere with them or or grab ahold of them or repress them, or if we don't, you know, acting on emotions, especially when you're in meditation, in Fear is without deeper process towards healing towards peace through resolution that is kind of inherent in the emotions themselves. So to respect emotions, and if you are challenged with an emotion and, you know, it's really caught you in some powerful way, and you would like to try this respect thing, you might put your hands together and in the Anjali and bow to your emotions and just bow. And if you want to, you know, really do something powerful, you bow, you bow and say, Thank you, thank you for what you're trying to do for me or what the message you're bringing, or how this is the best I can do at the moment to try to work with this difficult world. But kind of bow to the emotions and, and as a way of, of as an alternative to being entangled, reactive, judgmental, for there. And you might try it, it's possible that one of the greatest goods you can do for your emotional life, is to offer a deep respect to it. And maybe even a kind of reverence for it. That gets you out of the way of it. But in meditation protects you from acting on it in ways that may or may not be healthy. So thank you, and then we'll continue tomorrow on this topic. So for today, for the next 24 hours. You might feel this idea of bowing to your emotions is at all interesting for you. You might either do it or physically or you might actually do it in your imagination. Try bowing to your emotions and see what happens. But, but give room for your emotions is the most important thing. And if you have enough ability to take a break, if you're in the middle of something work or family life or something, and you have a strong emotional response, and you don't usually do this. See if you can go take a walk around the block with it. Take the emotions with you. Just like you could take them take the emotions for a walk and and use that maybe as a time to make room for it. Respect, respect it, listen to it more deeply. And see what happens if you if that's an alternative to how you usually are with emotions. Try this alternative. Try the respect thing for and see what happens over the next time. So thank you
