Nonprofits are faced with more challenges to accomplish their missions and the growing pressure to do more, raise more and be more for the causes that improve our world.
We're here to learn with you from some of the best in the industry, bringing the most innovative ideas, inspirational stories, all to create an impact uprising.
So welcome to the good community. We're nonprofit professionals, philanthropist, world changers and rabid fans who are striving to bring a little more goodness into the world.
So let's get started. Becky, what's up?
You know, my favorite day is John right? I do it my favorite days are when we get a guest from the ungettable get list and it's happening today. I am so excited. We are having an amazing guest on just extra. Lots of people probably in our community have heard of her. She is an incredible thought leader, keynote speaker entrepreneur, she founded this incredible organization called headbands for hope. And she's an author and just an empower. And so as we're sort of continuing on this conversation of leaders as thought leaders, there is no one who would be better to come in here and talk to us than Jess. So I got to give a little shout out though, because the reason that we were connected to her and I hope people know about our ungettable get list. But we have this public list that we share on our website. And it's like, Hey, these are the people we want to talk to, but we don't just put their names down. We talk about why we want to talk to them. We talk about why they inspire us and what they've done in the world that really aligns with our mission. And so, Amanda Cardona with Ms. President us out in Connecticut is incredible do gooder who connected us to Jess so thank you, Amanda, appreciate you so much. But I want to give a little shout out to Jess because our incredible Julia corn our unicorn Julie listened to her speak like five years ago. And she was so touched by the way that Jess compassionately comes in inspires you lights a fire under you. And she has been on our ungettable atlas since the beginning. But just I kind of said this but just started this organization. She's the CEO and founder of headbands for hope. And it was a company that donates headbands to kids with illnesses for every headband sold. It was on little known places like the today show Good Morning America view worn by Kardashians, these kinds of thing I know, right. And they ended up donating over a million headbands, reaching every single Children's Hospital in America in 22 countries and as people who work to the Children's Hospital, thank you just for doing that. And just from there things just sorted to kind of cascade and she started her company wanting to use kind of her ups and downs to help other women just become these valued experts in their industry. So she's got this incredible book called Chasing the bright side. She's got online courses and community for women. And I just have to say our favorite thing about her is that for a very long time, she lived in her Airstream with her husband Jake and their 70 pound dog, Ollie. So do you think you're gonna love this human as much as we do? I think you will just come into our house and be our friend.
Oh my gosh, that I would say is like one of the top intros. I like, forgot we were recording for a second. I was just
crazy. That's you, you did all of that.
Can I say I love the concept of your gettable get list because I feel like so much of where I am today, I landed because I just put it out there. And I call it you know, in my book, I call it throwing darts. Because you just have no idea what's possible when you actually vocalize and verbalize what you're wanting. And I just love that you guys do that. That's amazing. And as you were talking, I was thinking of two guests. I'm gonna put on that that list. Yeah.
Thank you. I mean, I'll tell you what, I'll just drop it in the show notes to here so everybody can go look at it.
I mean threading that to nonprofit. I do think we talk about this a lot that this way you got to verbalize your vision because you never know who's listening and you never know that how that could strike a chord in somebody that maybe is not even part of it yet but they could be inspired to want to get involved with you so I'm gonna adopt you're throwing darts idea like I'm obsessed with that
socialize those dreams. I mean, you never know somebody who went to summer camp with somebody who knows somebody who's I mean it's just the the connections are endless and the world is so wide and I just love that you're on and that we were connected in this way. So welcome to our house.
Yes, it is so insane because one of the things that I teach in Mike drop workshop. My speakers course is like the step one to getting speaking engagements is putting the word speaker in your bio like that is that is it that is stereotyping because people can't book you to speak, if they don't know your speaker, and some people are like, but I haven't spoken yet. And like you're still a speaker, you know if that's the thing that you want to do put it in your Instagram bio, on your email signature. And that way when people are like, we need a speaker for our, you know, nonprofit summit or for this, you know, local Chamber of Commerce. Oh, yeah, you know, I was emailing with Becky the other day, and I saw that she had, you know, speaker in her bio, let's see if she can do it. But that kind of like radar will never tick, if it's not there. One time I was in an Uber somewhere, I was going to a gig and the Uber driver, and I were talking, he's like, oh, you know, what are you doing here, and I can't remember what city I was in. And it's like, I'm speaking at an event. He goes, Oh, my daughter, like runs, you know, events for the like convention center here. And I, you know, it was like, give her my card. And she ended up booking me, you know, for an event. And so again, it's just throwing darts and like, the more you put out there, you have no idea what's going to come back in.
Okay, we're like five minutes in my jaws already on the floor. We haven't even really gotten to meet you yet. And you're already preaching. So staying your pulpit. But we want to go back, we don't want to just get to know just today, we want to know, where did you grow up? Like, how did you get to this point in your journey and decide to go full tilt into this empowerment business that you have built for women?
Yeah, I grew up in right outside of Charlotte, North Carolina. And I remember wanting to be an astronaut, and then realizing that I got sick with like, turbulence on planes. And like, I was kind of going back and forth as a kid in these careers and never really thinking about entrepreneurship. And then I remember my dad, you know, coming home from work one day, he was managing like gyms and health clubs and sitting us down for like a family meeting with my mom and my sister, and saying, you know, I want to quit my job. And I want to start this business idea that I have. And I this is going to be a group effort, because he was the, you know, my mom was at home with us, he was only one working and I would love to pursue this if I have all of your blessing. And me being in like, sixth grade at the time, I didn't really I was like, what's for dinner? You know, sounds good. I didn't really think anything of it. But then over the next few years, I saw him renovate our upstairs bathroom into his headquarters office. So I saw him pour His like heart and soul into this idea which my mom eventually started working with him. It was actually kind of funny, she asked him one day, she's like, you're working so hard, can't get you like a sandwich or tea or anything. He goes, actually, can you run customer service, you know, my business. And so she did, then 10 years later, it got acquired, but watching him, you know, see a problem, and then create a business as a solution to a problem was when I started thinking that, like, Oh, I could do that. Because when we think about entrepreneurship, or starting a business or an organization, it feels like this members only club that we have to get invited to you know that you have to get your MBA, or you have to know what like a p&l stands for. And you don't need to know any of that. It's about creating what you wish existed. And so I think, for me being able to see that so up close as a kid, right, and, you know, our upstairs bathroom, it was accessible to me, also, you know, because of my privilege, I'll say that to you, I had to I could leave because I knew I had a safety net, which a lot of people don't have. But now as you know, someone who has reached some level of success in entrepreneurship, I feel like it's my duty or greater calling to be that point of accessibility for people who didn't have someone in their upstairs bathroom, starting a business. So that's why I try with whatever I create, to make things feel, you know, attainable, and, and reachable for someone who just wants to make the world a better place. Because,
okay, we loved you when this started, but I'm like, so tracking because I feel like, we're living this out in real time. You know, like, my kids are on the other side of this wall, kind of wondering, like, what is we're for good? Why are they doing this? Why does Becky come over to the house multiple times? You know, we, and I just think that, that, that there's something really there, you know, the seeds that we're planting and keep talking about planting seeds. I feel like in this conversation, I feel like that's what we're doing, you know, and how we're showing up, even stepping into bravery before we're ready. So, okay, keep us going. Because I feel like your story starts to Christian though, as you step into entrepreneurship.
Yeah, no, and I would say that, you know, going off of that your podcast is, again, at that point of accessibility. And in hearing these stories of people that are doing something someone listening could say, oh, if you know she could do that, then maybe I could and so I think it's just so totally but so I was not the most popular kid in school. Super awkward. But I just after watching my dad, I just started to like, look for these gaps and areas of need. And I remember when eBay became really popular, I was like, Oh, I could sell things on eBay. So I got my mom's white sheet from her linen closet and put it up in my bedroom and borrowed their digital camera. And I like, Oh, my girl balls like you can't, I don't you guys can't see me right now. But I was literally like, look, you know, Samantha's having a great time, you could have her, she could be yours. And it worked. Like I started selling things on eBay, until I started selling my sister's toys, and my operation got shut down. This thing happening. And so that was kind of my first dip into entrepreneurship was, you know, learning how to write these product descriptions, seeing Oh, people really like American Girl balls when I didn't chop their hair off or draw tattoos on their body versus when i. So I started to learn, you know about that. And then I realized, like, through eventually interning at Maker wish when I was in college, how great would it be to blend this like love of business for something that actually supports a true need. And I was seeing kids that were losing their hair to chemotherapy, and they love to wear headbands after hair loss. And I looked at Google, I think a little really Googled, like donating headbands to kids with cancer, and nothing came up. And I think that that's a true test when you have something that you're looking for, and you can't find it, or you can't find it the way that you want it. And that means that there's probably other people out there searching for that same thing. And so I call it you know, the dumbest, smartest moment of my life where, you know, 18 years old, I was like, oh, you know, no one's doing this, I can do it. And that's why I'm such a big advocate for young entrepreneurs is because you don't have all of those that data in your head yet telling you, you know, that you that failure is a possibility. All you have is that optimism that it could work out. So learning to keep that optimism as you gather the data is the is the tough part as you come into adulthood. But which is why I wrote chasing the bright side. But starting headbands of hope in college, for every headband sold, we donate one to a child with an illness. So I think that's a little snapshot of my, my childhood, I was not the overachiever, straight A student, I just really enjoyed, you know, finding problems and creating solutions. And one more thing I will say, which I think is really interesting with the topic of your podcast is the idea of making a living and making a difference. You know, headbands of hope is a is a for profit company. And we partner with, you know, nonprofits for our head band together programs. But I think that this idea of social entrepreneurship, and doing good is changing in our world where it might not have to be this choice of like, nonprofit for profit. But I think that just doing good in business is not going to be this trendy marketing thing. It's just going to be an expectation for all businesses to have a social arm to it,
my friend, you're preaching to the choir. Yeah, I mean, this is we're seeing this and when you get to have these kind of conversations, you see, you don't see the lines, you just see like, what are we really trying to do? And of course, we would work with businesses and organizations and government, like how can we all get together to actually solve the things that we're trying to solve? And so I'm really geeked out on this, of course, loving your founder story loving and seeing your passion get refined. But okay, you're being really humble, like, headbands for hope, like completely took off. And I feel like as that grew, your story completely grew to and you, you know, were put in this position that you become a thought leader, you become tapped to go on national shows on keynotes. Talk about that journey, because for us, we've lifted leaders as thought leaders as one of our top eight trends for the year because we just feel like those that are, you know, perpetuating a mission, they're leading it are very, they're part of the staff, they have a story to tell. And we want to encourage them to lean into that story and step onto the stage or take the mic, talk about your transition to embracing that. Getting out in front.
I love that question. And I love that focus thought leaders, because that's something I cared deeply about too. And I feel like there's an overwhelming number of the same kinds of thought leaders out there and we need different ones. So but one one correction, I will say is that it did not take off right away. And that's a really important part of my stories because like, I'm sure you have all heard the stories where you know, someone's on, like how I built this or, you know, a Forbes summit stage and they're like, Well, you know, one day I had this idea and like the next day we are just sold out and I you know, can't get my product back in stock and you're like, Give me a break. And so often they are missing a huge gap that they're not telling. And I don't know about you, but I don't learn anything from that from hearing someone's story with their view at the top, I learn from when they went up three steps and a boulder knocked them down back to the bottom. And they had to start over again, which is very much what my story was like in the beginning. And I thought as I wanted to step into this thought leader space as being a speaker starting headbands of hope. And I will say before headbands of hope, was even profitable, I started speaking. So this idea that you have to reach this insane level of success in order to claim your space as a thought leader is not accurate. When you're living in your story, and you're having those experiences, that's the time where you can start telling them social media can be a crazy world, but it's also a world where, where you can hit publish, and you don't have to wait for someone to hand you the microphone, you can just claim it. So I, you know, started to try to be a thought leader. And I thought that being a thought leader meant that I need to go out there and prove why I'm deserving, you know, of this, like, and so I would almost try to emulate the, you know, Brene Brown to the world that the Mel Robbins of like, what would they do in this situation? And it just wasn't landing, you know, I would try to think of what a speaker would say, not what Jess would say. And so that, you know, I was trying to get speaking engagements for headbands of hope, had bands pub was moving slow, you know, it was growing, but it wasn't at this, like rapid pace or anything. And then, you know, one day, I had to speak at this class that I went to, for a former teacher of mine. And it was a, you know, free thing. And it was like, if someone looked wrote a screenplay that was like, Girl has bad day, that was that was me on that day, it was like raining, you know, I forgot an umbrella. I got like a parking ticket, you know, it's just all those things. And so I show up to this class. And I just can't muster up that, you know, impersonation that I have been trying to do at these previous engagements. And I remember, I just kind of grabbed a stool at the front of the room. And I was like, Look, guys, this is hard. And this is all the, you know, crap that I've dealt with the past, you know, year and a half or two years starting this business, I got involved with a fraudulent manufacturer, I launched in my mom was my first customer like, and I just started going down the list of all this like crap that is not on my LinkedIn page, or I'm not like blasting on Instagram. And that was the speech to a room of like 15 people that made me a speaker. And that was a speech where afterwards like everyone was late for class because they wanted to stay and ask me questions. And I realized in that moment that like to be a thought leader isn't about proving your credibility. It's about using your story to help people in their story. And oftentimes, that means that it's not making yourself look great. It's about sharing the moments that don't make you look so great. So that was kind of a shift for me. And that's when my speaking career took off. And at the same time, the more I spoke, the more headbands of Hope grew. And so claiming your space as a founder, and putting yourself as a thought leader is not just free marketing for your business or your organization, it's paid your will get paid to do it. Yeah. And so that was where I started to shift into not just having headbands of hope, be the product that I sell, but the story of headbands of hope, be the product that I sell. So that led to a speaking career. A book deal with Harper Collins for chasing the bright side, and eventually mic drop workshop, which is my online course and community for women to get paid speaking engagements. So that was the shift was when I realized that no one cares about my resume.
Speaking of mic drop, whoa, I mean, that was one that was a story. But two, I really encourage everybody to go back and listen for the last probably five minutes to understand the power of authentic, vulnerable story. We talk about this all the time, the way that social media has created this mirage of what my husband calls the Norman Rockwell complex of everybody doing something so clean and so beautiful. And, and we have this like wanderlust and this and this other rising feelings that come along with it of oh, I'm not doing that. And oh, they're so great. And they all have it together. The problem with that is we don't see ourselves in that at all. We can't relate to it. I love so I mean, you had me at when you were an awkward girl because I was a very awkward girl. But you really had my heart when you said that my authentic story. The non LinkedIn version is the one that connects and so, you know, we talk a lot about how do you break Like get a courageous growth mindset of going in and doing the hard work. And it's going to take going inside yourselves and doing some inner work. Because I would think you would have to do that before you go out on stage and understanding who you are, and how did that build you to be the person you are. And I love that you kind of just hung your hat on empowering women, women in this sector. And I was really shocked when and also not shocked when I looked on your website and saw that only 32% of speakers are women. And that's down from 33% in 2017. So please talk to a we have a lot of women that listen to this podcast, but we have a lot of incredible men to paint a picture for the current landscape of women in thought leadership and public speaking, and what sort of opportunities are there right now for nonprofit leaders
a lot, a lot of opportunities for women to take the stage. It is I was at a conference. It was like a conference for event planners I was speaking at, and they had a panel of event planners for these major companies. And it was about you know, diversity and speaking. And one of them who has worked for a major company that we've all heard of, was like, Look, you know, we want to bring more speakers in on our stages, but they are only 12% of the applications that we get. So the pool of where where we're pulling from is smaller. And I think it goes back to that, you know, tail that told us time is that women, you know, will only apply for the promotion or the job, if they meet 100% of the requirements versus men will apply if they meet, I don't know, it's like 50% or something. And I think that if there's one thing that I can serve to women right now in this community is by telling them that I did not wait to be successful in order to be a thought leader, I became a thought leader. And by just sharing my authentic story in that helped me become successful. I would say some ways that you can start thinking about like, well, what is it that I want to speak on? Or what are the trends, you know, in my life is a simple practice that I like to call in, in my truck workshop moment to meaning and I do this, I try to do this every day. And what you do is, it's a great way to think about what were the moments of my day, what were those just like Polaroid snapshot moments, whether it was an interaction that you had with, you know, the postman delivering your mail, or whether it was a big moment you had where you gave, you know, a meeting or presentation or kudos to someone? And then what was the meaning that you can pull from that moment. So you know, for example, if I'm in the drive thru line at Starbucks, and the car in front of me, you know, pays for my coffee, and I pay for the car behind me. You know, that happened to me the other day. And that was one of the moments I wrote down. And I'm like, what, it gave me a feeling what was that feeling? And it was like, you know, that good, doing good does not have to be recognized in order to be good, because I'll never be able to thank that person in front of me, you know, who paid for, for my coffee. And you know, the person behind me will never know it was me. So this idea of silent giving and not needing the applause was this like meaning that I pulled from it? And so trying to get in this practice of like, what was the moment and what was the meaning. And the other thing that I will say to that is that I see a lot of people who want to step into thought leadership make this I will call it a mistake, but assumption is they believe that I'm a nonprofit leader and I therefore I will speak to other aspiring nonprofit leaders, and the pool of opportunity that you have when you just want to speak to people just like you is so small. I honestly I would love Yeah, I would love to speak to just like women entrepreneurs who are starting businesses, but that is, you know, a small percentage of gigs every year. Most of the time I speak to people who have absolutely nothing to do with what I do I speak to like data analysts or I spoke at like a dental hygienists convention, our worlds are totally different. So why would they book me to speak. And it's because I use my story, the moments in extract the universal meaning that they can apply to their story. So if someone goes and they you know, climbed Everest or something or climbed Seven Summits, they're not going to go speak to a bunch of mountaineers that want to also climb Everest. And honestly, they're their keynote won't be very compelling if they just tell the story of how they climbed and what they ate, you know that day, but it would be compelling if they extracted the universal experience of doing something that you didn't believe that you could do, of of getting back up when you when you fall, have a team work support of getting you to the top. So whatever your moments are, there's also universal meaning that you can teach to others. So don't put yourself in a lane that's too small when it comes to thought leadership because the meaning is much broader than your your standing.
Hey, friends, we've got to pause the podcast for a minute, we have some really exciting news to share.
Yeah, we're partnering up with our friends at virtuous to co host this year's free responsive nonprofit summit on April 20, and 21st. And we want to see you there.
So come and join 1000s of like minded forward thinking nonprofit leaders for two days at fresh insights, helpful workshops, and genuine conversations as we gather virtually from wherever you find yourself.
We're curating some amazing panels to help you build better systems and strategies to help you grow your impact. You may even recognize some of our past podcast guests and favorite thought leaders to
Okay, so can we count you in to join us at the responsive nonprofit Summit, visit virtuous.org/good and registered for free.
Taking a quick pause from today's episode to thank our sponsor, slingshot group, our friends over at slingshot group partner with nonprofits to recruit and hire great leaders build remarkable teams and unleash your missions potential. You know, we talk often about how much your organization's culture matters, especially today. And not just being a place that attracts talent, but also becomes a magnet to connecting donors to your mission. Slingshot group is the organization we trust to help you do just that. It's so much more than a staffing and executive search firm. Slingshot group goes deep and gets to know your culture. So they can help you find the leaders and staff who will take your mission to the next level. Sound like slingshot group might be a fit for your organization. Learn more today at slingshot group.org, or follow the link in our show notes.
Thank you so much for saying that. And John jump in here as soon as I'm done. But we keep telling our community if you are in nonprofit health care, quit going just to speak and talk with and share with nonprofit health care, get out there go into higher ed go into social services, like go talk to a social entrepreneur who's working with a B Corp, you know, we all have things that we can learn from each other. And if we're playing in our same sandbox, then to me, I'm very bored, I get very bored easily. And you're hearing the same story over and over. And without having any sort of level of elevation of somebody really challenging, you're thinking you will never get to keep growing and improving and expanding that thought leadership. So thank you for saying that. And I wholeheartedly agree.
Yeah, I appreciate that. And one more thing I would say, to think about as you think about what do you want your, your message to be? Is these like two words that I talked about in Mike drop workshop, the premise and the promise, the premise is a story of how you got here. And the promise is what it means for the audience. And so thinking about like, what is my premise? You know, is it my story of starting headbands of hope? Is it? Is it your story of starting this podcast? And then what's the promise from that? What is the audience gonna take away? And so always playing with this idea of like, what's the premise, what's the promise is a really clear way to figure out like how you want to serve people, as a thought leader,
we've kind of challenged everybody to step into their thought leadership like this gets you unstuck immediately, like we all have these moments throughout the day, and I'm gonna put myself on here, I can be as vulnerable as possible, I want to be more in this space. And I'll sit and stare at my computer, like, I don't know what to say, you know. But I love this framework of every day I have awakenings. And definitely being getting to talk to some incredible folks like yourself, it's like, I want to lean more into that and be vulnerable in that space. So I just think this is such a great challenge. Let me kick it to you on this because you believe really deeply in the power of journaling. And I know this was not really even on our thread to talk about. But I just think as we think about reflecting like how powerful it has to be to center yourself. And you just want to talk about that. I know you even built a company around this too. But like, what is the power of this? We've not really exploded on the podcast, but I'd love to get your take on it.
Yeah, so I get the question that's like, Oh, how did you do this? How did you build headbands of hope? How do you write your book that when I think about like, what what did I do? You know, I kind of blacked out. But what did I do to build this is the consistent thing has been a writing practice. And I think that writing has so many scientific benefits, our brain can only hold up to like six or seven pieces of information at a time. So when we're feeling really overwhelmed, and we don't know where to begin, it's a lot of times because we're trying to hold too many pieces in our head. And so I was looking during the pandemic, you know, when we're all having an existential crisis of like, what is my life look like? I was looking for a way to journal about where I wanted to go, you know, not necessarily how I'm feeling today or what I'm grateful for which all of that is great. and I love it. But I was like, Man, I really want to journal that if I want to dive into a particular topic, whether it's like starting a podcast, or if I'm feeling like, you know, I have another book idea that I want to noodle on, or if I, you know, kind of in a creative rut, and I want a journal that helps me get out of it. So basically, I wanted a journal that wasn't, you know, at me, but like for me, so I started looking around. And again, going back to that theme, I could not find the thing that I was looking for. And so I started playing around with this idea of like, what am I looking for, and that's where prompted my new online journal was born, where you can act, we're the first and only online journal to have prompt pathways, where you can go in, we have 1000s of different pathways. And you can pick, oh, I want to start a podcast and I want this podcast expert to feed me these journaling prompts. And you'll go down a prompt pathway with, you know, seven to 21 journaling questions about your podcast idea. Or if you're feeling like yesterday, I was feeling I don't know, I was like scrolling too much on social media. And I started having a bunch of imposter syndrome. And so I went on to prompted and there was this expert on there who has an imposter syndrome pathway. And I went on and went through 14 journaling questions about imposter syndrome to help me get out of it. And it helps so much. And so I even struggled to call it journaling. It's more, you know, a personal development platform that uses journaling as a tool to get there. And I actually forgot to tell you guys, but I created a code good that all of your listeners can get a month free on it, that prompted.io
logging in immediately. This is almost like self therapy, it is really doing some internal work. And I'll just tell people kind of what I do. Sometimes, as a writer, if you're looking for a place to start, we all have a phone, we all have a notes section on our phone, I have these groups of notes in my phone that are like thoughts, and just general thoughts that I have during the day about any sort of given heavy topic, I have quotes that I love. I have blogs, blog posts, I'm thinking about writing, I'd like to write a book someday. And I have all these thoughts that I want to pour into my book, and I have these tabs and I will literally be walking around. Because I mean, carry your phone almost everywhere. I hit that voice memo, and I just plop it in there and keep going it takes, you know, five seconds to put my thoughts down. And I think that that's what's important about what you're saying is your thoughts are precious, we talk about this all the time. In our house, I have two daughters, your thoughts, your opinions, your lived experience are precious, don't let them be fleeting, ground them plant those seeds. Because any ideas that come in are probably just going to be a part of an evolution of some journey that you're on at least that's how I feel about my life and my writing is that I need to keep developing that. And I really encourage that as an exercise for anybody. Because I would love for you to speak to this. Anybody can be a thought leader, I also want to plant the seed that anybody can be a writer, and you just have to write some of these things down. And I love that you offer this to our community, we will drop it in the show notes. For anyone who's interested. I just think the writing prompt is brilliant.
Thank you. Yeah, and what how you just encapsulated that is like, don't let thoughts be fleeting, that resonated so much with me, I'm someone who, like I have a very active brain. And sometimes I want to turn it off and in and I realize I'm like but also, you know, some of the things that you feel like are your weakness are also your strengths. And I'm like, I feel like my active brain is what got me here today is because I'm always thinking and it's always buzzing around. And so prompted and having a place to put these ideas instead of stifle them has been like this great superpower for me where I'm like, Yes, I'm going to take you know, this pathway about this book idea which I do, I wrote a pathway if you have a book idea, Becky, that you can take about fleshing out your idea. And then I'm going to let it sit and marinate and then if I keep thinking about it, I'll go back to it writing whether it's with prompted or anywhere else, like gives your thoughts a home and one of the science parts about it is writing actually stimulates as part of our brain that tells you when something's important. And so if you've ever had an idea that you know, it just kind of swimming in the back of your mind that you'd like never told anyone about it, it goes back to your ungettable list of like putting something out there. Writing when you put it actually down somewhere, it is telling your brain that this matters. And so when you take the time to put your ideas down or your thoughts or like your fears, that's a big one for me, like with the imposter syndrome pathway I did the other day where I really was like, um, I unpacked these fears that I just didn't even realize had been floating in the back of my mind. And it's almost like when you're a kid And you like how, you know, for me it was when I watched at the first time I thought it was like in my closet all the time. I just remember laying in my bed and being like ETS in my closet right now. And then you know, I go and like run to my mom and we turn the lights on and you open the closet and you realize ET is not in your closet. And that is what writing does. You have this like feeling that like something's wrong, or or I'm not good enough, and you get prompted to write your ideas or write your fears down. It's like, oh, none of that is true, or I get I get to choose, what is the truth of my thoughts and what isn't? And that I think is the superpower of writing is being able to remind yourself that your thoughts are not true unless you let them be. It's just such a clear way to help you do that. So yes, definitely try prompted and use the code good. I'm sure we'll put it in the show notes. And then we'll have both of you create pathways will be so fun.
So okay, I don't know if you know this, we call ourselves ridiculous idealist because we just we've always kind of banded together under that. That's why we love philanthropy, we really believe it will change the world. And I feel like you wrote a book on that can really galvanize people around optimism. But more than that, like, tell us the story behind chasing the bright side, I'd love to just kind of hear what prompted you to write it? And how could it you know, really speak to our audience?
Yeah. Um, so I had always kind of thought that a book was going to be within me, I always hoped that a book was going to be within me. And my original book idea what I was what we were talking about the beginning of the show, where I said, people share where they got their idea, they share where they're at now. And they don't share the in between. And so I had this idea where I was going to interview some of the world's like greatest people and get their, like, messy middle part, the part that it's not on their LinkedIn and almost create like a Chicken Soup for the Soul ish book. And I pitched it to, like 30 agents and got nothing. And finally that some of them was like, you know, you are pitching, writing about other people's stories, but you're just hiding behind your own, like, why are you not wanting to share your own story? And I was like, well, shoot, you're you're right. And when I thought about, like, what is the thread that keeps bubbling up in my life, it was just this rooted belief that the future is going to be good like that is this unsinkable optimism that is not toxic positivity, because I think we oftentimes confuse optimism with like forcing yourself to be happy. But really using optimism as like less of a mood of happiness and more of a strategy for progress. Like, we won't create, you know, a better future if we don't believe it. And and so I started playing around with this idea of writing a book about optimism, but what was holding me back was realizing that if I was going to tell the story of how I got here with optimism that I was gonna have to tell the full story. And there had been this moment in my life in high school that I had actively tried to omit from every area of my life. And that story is my uncle is Bernie Madoff, which is like one of the biggest financial criminals biggest criminal in history. And our family just went through the wringer with I mean, everything that went down eBird so many people was hurt by this person that I was related to my family included. And so I feel like I'm starting headbands of hope, a couple years after that was also a way of me actively trying to push out of the bad and into the good. And I realized that if I was going to write this book, I was going to have to tell, tell it all because why write a book, if you're not going to be honest, and it goes back to the best way to serve people, is oftentimes by telling the stories that you don't want to tell. And so I got the book deal with HarperCollins, and told the whole story, and realize like how it took 11 years for that moment to develop into meaning. And that's, that's another part of being a thought leader, sometimes you're going to have things in your life that aren't quite in your rearview mirror yet, and you can't extract the meaning until they are if you still feel like you're out at sea, like don't try to force the meaning until you're on shore. And so I realized that by writing this book, it was actually a super great way for me to realize this isn't the ET in my closet, I am in charge of what the story, you know, means for me, and the response was tremendous. Like I thought that when people found that out, you know, I built it up in my head that it was going to be this this thing and people came out with like, you know that that they were related to someone who did you know bad things or that they had a part of their story that they weren't sharing that they will now and so it really this idea of optimism, and realizing that you're not always going to be in control of your experiences, but you are always He is going to be the author of your stories is the thing that I hope people take with them when they read chasing the bright side.
Okay, I just have to ask you a personal question, how did it feel when you were able to control your version of that story? And you released it out into the world? How did that feel?
Terrifying? Oh, my God. Terrifying. You know, it was something that I chose, you know, the day before, I'm like, is it too late to delete it, like I just was so terrified. But it was also like the moment it was out there and like, on shelves, it was like it's done. And it's free, it's released. And the other thing that I will say, even though the response has been overwhelmingly positive, you know, for the book, the more you reach in, the greater your frequency is out there, it's just like math, the probability of someone not liking you, or what you have to say just increases, the more that your reach increases. And understanding that if someone does have a problem with that, or if someone didn't, like, you know, an posts that I wrote, or you know, a podcast, it is not personal. Like, it took me a while to realize that where if I am creating a life where everyone agrees with me, then that means I'm not standing for anything. And so understanding that, like, Yeah, I'm going to share things. And sometimes I'm going to post stuff that not everyone is going to love. But that also means that I'm doing my job, because you're also you're taking a stand, and you're invoking a response in someone. And so that's part of you know, being a thought leader is like, if it's neutral all the time, then it's not going to be loud enough for anyone to hear. And don't be afraid to stand for something, which means that you're picking a lane, you know, so I didn't experience that as much with with talking about Bernie, but I have experienced feedback in other ways that has really forced me to think about like, what, what is my relationship to people on the internet who don't know me, you know, it's, yeah, horses up to think about it,
I just want to tell you in the least condescending, most loving way that I am so proud of you, oh, thank you. And this book, even as you're talking like the title of it, you know, I'm just talking about the bright side, you are such a bright person, the way that you speak like this is this is your ethos. And I love that you have found your voice and your power in it, and that you have come out of whether that was just the darkness you have like emerged out of it like Phoenix. And I just think that you are such a bright light. I love what you're saying it is such an empowering and optimistic conversation. And I feel like it's so needed right now in this moment that we're all standing in, in history. And so I love your storytelling. And we'd spend a little bit of time on this podcast every time just asking for our guests to share a story of philanthropy that touched their hearts in move them, I wonder if you have one that you would be willing to share with us today?
Oh, my gosh, yes. And thank you for those those words that really, really touched me. Um, okay, so a story of philanthropy, I would say, the first time you experienced the impact of your work, I think is always going to be one of the deepest. And so it was one of the first donations that we ever made a headbands of hope. And I started donating headbands for even selling them because I didn't have enough sales to donate them. But I just wanted to start get going, you know, and getting these stories and figuring out what the kids liked. And I got a letter from a parent whose daughter was in remission for cancer. And she was supposed to start kindergarten soon. And she, up until that point, had not wanting to go to kindergarten and was, you know, protesting it because she thought that everyone in the class would think that she was a boy because her hair had grown back yet. And when she got this headband in the hospital, she got home from her appointment and laid out her backpack and her school supplies, and was like, Mom, when do I start kindergarten? And it was just this, this realization that little things can make big impacts. So if that's one way I can leave people today. It's the little things matter, like no Splash is too small, whether it's a headband, or a journaling prompt, where the confidence to speak. It's just these these little things matter. And I think oftentimes the things that stands in our way of starting is feeling like we need to start big, but the little things add up. And so don't discount them.
I mean, goodness, every time you're talking, we're just we need a moment to recover. But thank you, Lisa. Penalty floor. Thank you for just your vulnerability on this. And I'll tell you, because I haven't had a chance to react yet but as an Enneagram nine and I know there's a lot Have you listening to because we kind of ground base with the number two's, the peacemakers, the helpers, it's like we need to band together and, you know, be okay with stepping into some of these things and knowing that it's not always gonna make everybody comfortable. But that's what you're fighting for. I think your story that you just shared, you know, brings us back to why we need to be stepping into the doing the hard things because goodness, the most vulnerable among us, a kid with cancer is not confident going to kindergarten, like I mean, that's matters. But this is a balance with standing in the balance of us maybe choosing not to ruffle the feathers that, you know, we're scared to ruffle on something. So well said well said. Oh, goodness. Okay. So our last question is your one good thing and I kind of think you already gave it but I want to give you another platform to give us what's a piece of advice you want to leave us with today.
Oh, one good thing. Usually how I how I answered this question is with one of my most like popular things in my talk is this idea that failure will always feel better than regret. But I think I want to leave with something that I've been telling myself recently. And it's very simple, but it is like you are right on time. And in a world that is designed to tell you that you're behind. Just remember that you're on time, like you're right where you need to be whether you're just getting started, whether you haven't, you know, had as much traction yet as you thought like everyone is on their own path. And there is no one size fits all to where you want to go. And that's just the beautiful part about life. And so, you know, don't fall into these comparison traps. When you find something that you're inspired by. You're right on time. So no pace is too slow. No effort is too small. You're on time,
what a gift that one good thing was designed just for us I know Is anyone else. Just okay, you need to drop how people can connect with you. I want them to know about mic drop, I want them to know about where they can get the book, tell us where you are and how people can connect with you digitally.
Absolutely. So if you are interested in speaking we have a ton of free resources and workshops at mic drop workshop comm that you can check out and you can follow me just extra money, you know, Instagram, I'm trying to be cool and be on Tik Tok. Now, too. I also have I always forget to say this, but I have a hypertext that I send out every Monday. And so if you're interested, it's just like a word of advice every Monday. That's it. It's just like a one liner. And you can text me the word hype to 704 to 289495. And you'll get that at 11am. Eastern every Monday. Oh, and then yes, it said where to get the book, anywhere books are sold. It's on Amazon, you know, and Target and Walmart. But I would urge you, if you have a local bookstore, see if they have it, and if not see if you can request it through them. And then the last thing I'll say is just use the code good on prompted.io. And you can start journaling.
I just want to ask you if he will accept my best friend forever, lock it and be connected to me. Let's do because I think this conversation has been so heart filling, it's been encouraging and vulnerable. I think that there's something that literally every human being listening right now can take away. And I want to thank you not just for simply coming in here and sharing your heart but the way that you show up and the way that you pour in the way you acknowledge privilege in the way that you are so full hearted and all that you do. So thank you for coming on this absolutely lived up to the hype of the ungettable get list. Thank you, Julie confer for putting Jess on the list right up there in our top 20 with Oprah and Melinda Gates totally worth it.
I told you when Oprah calls me back, you know, I'll
tell her to be on Yeah, just text. Great.
No, thank you both so much for having me. I had such a great time. And thanks for putting this good out into the world.
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