04 230719 The Power of Negative Feelings - Reprogramming Hegemony And Creating Healthy Work Environments | Otter.ai

04 230719 The Power of Negative Feelings - Reprogramming Hegemony And Creating Healthy Work Environments

Meredith Holley55min

Megan Goering Mellin

00:04

You've heard about the power of positive feelings. Today we're going to talk about the power of negative feelings. Why do we have a hard time asking for what we want at work? Why is it hard to know what to say to a bully, or even to find the words? And what might we stand to gain from listening in or leaning closer to our negative feelings, rather than avoiding them or drawing away? Today's episode is going to pull on the second of our three pillars of empowered communication, which are boundaries, reprogramming, hegemony and accountability. Today we're focusing on reprogramming hegemony. So Meredith reprograming hegemony is a seven syllable term that contains so many keys to freedom. Tell us what it means. Please break down both what you mean by reprogramming and what you mean by hegemony.

Meredith Holley

00:59

Yeah, so hegemony, as we've talked about is a term that you might know from debate class in high school, or you might know it from feminism class you took in college, but hegemony is the idea that there is a dominant group that has power over non dominant groups, and then the system of power become self sustaining, because the people who are not dominant, start imposing it against each other and imposing it against ourselves. So it's the idea that we maintain our own oppression, unconsciously reprogramming that is the idea of shifting our thinking, essentially, so that we're not buying into systems that oppress us. It can sound like a little bit conceptual, but in my experience, there are actually just a few very practical steps people can take to change their minds.

Megan Goering Mellin

01:56

Got it, so I feel like this is okay, first off, I think I also recounted the syllables, reprogramming Gemma and I think that's eight syllables. You know, kind of quickly, okay, eight syllables, so much liberation. So what I'm hearing you say is that hegemony refers to a situation where there is a dominant power, like there's like a supreme Oh type, this is how we want to be we want to be the Royals, not the serfs. But then the serfs learn Oh, we have to police each other to do what's right for the Royals, even though the Royals are non benevolent overlords. But then here we are serfs. We're so scared. We're walking on eggshells, we're convincing each other to stay safe by walking on eggshells. And none of it's serving us it is serving the non benevolent overlords. But we stop remembering that we are cowering in fear. And we are selling our own equality down the river. Because we have been so completely convinced that this is our proper order in the world. And you see this natural system,

Meredith Holley

03:03

right? Like some really easy examples of it are sort of like tone policing people. So like women telling other women, if you had just said that in a nicer way people could hear you. If you had been more assertive, you would have gotten the job. If you wore different clothing, then you would have a different experience when in reality, the other woman is having an experience based on structures of sexism that exist in the world, not based on her choice of clothes, or her tone, or anything bad that she is doing.

Megan Goering Mellin

03:39

Right. So really teaching, GG try to be more palatable. Yeah, to whatever authority figure reference point has been established. It's not us. It's not authentic to us. But we're trying to act like the good class, so that we blend in with them and don't get harmed. But actually, when we're over there acting like them, and trying to blend in with the dominant party. We're actually not over here doing what's right for either us or for everybody. So, yeah, even as encroaches.

Meredith Holley

04:09

Right, even when we're criticizing each other, when two women are criticizing each other, instead of questioning the system that is not allowing them to proceed. That's energy used to perpetuate the hegemony when white women criticize black women for their tone. That is actions that we're taking to perpetuate the imbalance of power. Like, right? Yeah.

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