So good morning. And welcome. The one announcement before giving a talk. And that is that I thought that this Friday, we could have a community meeting meeting for those of you, those of us in this YouTube sangha, and so after this is over at about 745, on Friday, I'll open a Zoom Room. And, and then we could meet there, and, you know, have some discussion and maybe have some breakout groups, you could beat each other a bit. And kind of want to do it partly because I'll be gone the month of June, I'm going to go and do a self retreat up in the Sierras. And I'll be completely disconnected from the electronic world. And, and so I thought with my absence before going off, I'd love to say hello and chat a little bit and, and then then talk a little bit. And so I'll post the Zoom link. And they calendar for the Friday event also on the IMC What's New page. And also I'll put it in the chat here for on YouTube. So you'll find it different places, I'll repeat these ideas on Thursday. And, and those of you who don't want to go on Zoom will keep the YouTube continuing. But there might not be as much exchange and I might be looking at the screen for the people on on Zoom. So look forward to meeting those of you who say for that. So one of the ways of appreciating people, one of the ways of showing appreciation is to show them that they are understood understood. Humans have a big need for to be understood. I've been in many situations where there's been conflict. And people disagreeing vehemently about something and are some people quite hurt by some behavior, and they're trying to work it out. And the whole situation changes when one of the parties or both parties understands the other shows that they understand how what's going on for the other person. They haven't necessarily agreed with the other party's point of view. But they have understood the point of view, and made that clear and understood maybe the background for that point of view or background of what happened and their experience of something. And there's kind of like magic magic that happens in communities and in between people. When someone is feels like they've been understood, something can relax, oftentimes, some Bement via there can be a greater feeling of safety or, or being respected. And so when we run into people, situations where they're suffering, and a situation which may be evokes our compassion, to quickly respond compassionately, before we really assess the situation well can lead to inappropriate action, inappropriate intervention, or intervention or connection or support for someone else, that maybe isn't as rich or as valuable as it could be. So one of the ways of appreciating people, one of the elements of compassion is to take the time to understand them better and is an part of understanding them. An important part of that would be to understand oneself better, because it without understanding oneself, we won't understand the bias we have or the the orientations we use to understand the situation. Different people can encounter the same person who is suffering and see the suffering in very different ways. Some people are merely might see it as something emotional and respond as to their emotional situation. Some people might under understand it as as physical and let's make sure that we get people some water and food. Some people might see it as being something societal or something but a larger situation and we have to fix it. And so they're fixing the situation to help them feel better. But we're not really taking the time to know them. And so we orient ourselves sometimes very quickly in times of suffering, because we think it's a crisis or where we are alarmed. But if it's possible, to slow down, and take time to understand the other person, and even if we can't support them, or help them with their particular suffering, it can make a huge difference for people that they are understood. And that they feel understood or their situation is really taken into account. And so too, and I've known people had been through with people, for example, in the hospital, where people were caring for them in the hospital, but the people who did not feel really understood in their suffering and their challenges they were having. And for someone to come and not try to fix their medical situation, or not try to, I know, make a nice picture of it all, you'll be okay. But to really acknowledge, Oh, I understand that this is difficult for you, that something relaxes in the person. So take time to understand the other person, and maybe simple questions may be how is it for you? And and this must be difficult for you, you might say, and, and then the person that's a prompt for the person sometimes to want to explain more and say more, because they know you're interested, you seem to be attuned to them. And or you ask your you know, this is this sounds, this seems really difficult, what's happening? What part do you find the most difficult, because we sometimes we can be quite surprised. But well, we think the difficulty for someone else is very different. It might be you're focusing on them and their challenge they have, but they're actually focusing on how their challenge is limiting their ability to take care of a relative, or a neighbor or something. And so in helping them you might be missing what's really important for them. So to ask, you know, to understand others, is a form of appreciation, and allows us also to find out what we can appreciate by people. When people think that we really want to understand them, or we're beginning to understand them, some people will open up more, some people will relax, and we see them more fully. And there's more to appreciate. The more we appreciate the, you know, the the the more it's beginning to be compassionate action, compassionate action can begins with appreciation begins with understanding that is compassion and inaction. The other part of this understanding is how important it is to understand ourselves. The we have so many biases, so many, so much, so much conditioning, about how we encounter suffering? And do we understand that what we're doing is really wanting to support the other person? Or are we taking care of ourselves, some people's idea of compassion is to address suffering, so that they don't have to feel bad. It's more taking care of ourselves to fixing others to take care of ourselves to make ourselves more comfortable. Or it could be that we have certain opinions about what does deserve compassion and what doesn't, or what counts for suffering and what doesn't, or what elements of the life need to be addressed when they're suffering. And so all these kinds of to understand that we have preconceived ideas, often that we carry with us to understand the situation. And this is where mindfulness is invaluable. Because when we have a trained ourselves to be mindful, we can we'll start becoming more sensitive to the beginning point of an opinion, we have that beginning point of an orientation of you a selective process of way of thinking, and we can see it arise at the beginning, then we can question it, but a question mark, is this really? So? If we see we're focusing on people's emotional life? Is it really so that that's what's needed? Do I always look for reading people's emotions? Or it was what comes up is ideas something needs to be fixed here, and I'm responsible to fix it.