This is the third talk on a theme of oneself. And began Monday with the topic of self respect. And perhaps self respect is a maybe sometimes easier to come to then self love or self compassion or, but to have a deep respect and what we respect, maybe we try to understand it better we make ourselves available to know it better. And so yesterday was a topic of self understanding, to really understand this person that we are what drives us, what drives us, what attitudes, beliefs, attachments, desires, and aversions we have. And how we understand ourselves, so that we can be free or and today, the topic is not harming oneself. And I find that this idea of non harming and not harming others, not harming ourselves, is such a profound topic, that it's easy to be to eclipse that topic. With more inspiring topics of the dharma or spirituality. It's inspiring the idea of love and compassion, generosity, it's inspiring wisdom. It's inspiring the idea of freedom. And, but it's also possible to be focused on those and not really understand the nature of harm. Nature of way the mind works, the heart works, that we're harming ourselves and may be in in ways that we harm other is both out of impulsive speech and action that we never would have consciously plan to want to do. But it just blurts out of us, but also in kind of subconscious ways that we're not really aware of that, how we're speaking in a way to kind of poke someone or, or express our hostility or, or be a little bit mean to someone. And so to, to value non harming as a foundation, because and to appreciate that non harming is a profound topic because it applies to so many areas. To live a life without harm, self harm and harming others, is a phenomenal life. It's a really a good life. And people learn to trust us, we can trust ourselves, we can go anywhere we want without having to feel self conscious that we're causing harm. And it's the foundation for a peaceful life, peaceful world. So, not harming oneself. There is this verse in the suit does. The Buddhist says, traveling in all directions, with one's thoughts? Nowhere can one find anyone, dear than oneself. In the same way, to each individual self is most dear oneself is most there. Therefore, whoever loves loves oneself, must whatever loves oneself most doesn't harm others. So sometimes its idea of, you know, holding oneself dear, valuable, holding oneself as being precious and is maybe seen as being selfish. But there's a way in which it's not. And one way is that the more we have respect and care and appreciate and value for ourselves, and value, the value, see the value of not being harmed by anyone not be suffering, not having no one steal, or lie or attack us or anything. And know that we can appreciate that's true for other people as well. Allow them to be the most the person who's most precious to themselves, and imagine that they also do not want to be harmed. And this combination of seeing oneself as being valuable and
Translating to not causing harm. And caring for others, is one of the wonderful principles of Buddhism. And so that's so if you if you and, and then there's a particular verse in the Dhammapada, that's can be quite challenging to read, or to deal with. So that begins with something, maybe that's not so difficult. It says, don't give up your own welfare. Don't give up your own welfare. But the next line says, don't give up your own welfare, for the sake of others welfare, however great. And the idea that you wouldn't sacrifice yourself, your welfare for the welfare of your children, or your neighbors, or people you know, or people who are suffering more than you goes against the grain for many people I know. But I think that as we understand ourselves deeply, it isn't that we're trying to be comfortable, it isn't, that we're not trying to, but that we have access to an inner sense of peace, inner sense of non harming, we don't harm ourselves through anger, contraction, attachments, expectations, bias, all kinds of ways which we harm ourselves. That's where the real welfare is. The real welfare, that profound welfare is how we keep the heart at peace, happy contented, even if we're uncomfortable. So don't give up that welfare for someone else's welfare. But that doesn't mean don't benefit others don't do things for others, just don't sacrifice what's greatest and beautiful in yourself for that. Keep that and help others. So if a neighbor for example, is has an emergency, and you haven't eaten, and for your welfare, you should eat. Otherwise, you'll get a headache, maybe. But your your your neighbor's, needs to get to the emergency immediately. So of course, you would say I would hope you would sacrifice your meal and sacrifice the the absence of a headache, to save the life of your neighbor. But in doing so, you don't have to sacrifice your heart, you don't have to give away your peace or your you don't have to get agitated or contracted or something. And that is where self understanding is so important to really understand deeply, were the refuges within were how we hold ourselves in safety in our hearts, by not getting caught in our attachments. So to not harm ourselves, requires a lot of self understanding, a lot of sitting quietly and still or any kind of way to really get underneath the surface of how we think the surface layer of our desires or wishes or preoccupations, concerns I've had still to this day, I can be in the labyrinth of my concerns and thoughts, which we do what happens here. And I have a lot to do, and I have to figure this out. And it's a labyrinth that I call a labyrinth because sometimes there's no way to get out of it on its own term terms. But if I sit and meditate, then I'll drop down into a deeper place of knowing a deeper understanding a deeper way of thinking that's not in a labyrinth of superficial thoughts or surface thoughts that preoccupations where I'm kind of lost in them. And then from that deeper place, then there's no labyrinth, then oh, now I understand myself and what needs to happen and what the priority should be. So this ability to know oneself by dropping below the surface chatter of the mind, and really feel deeply what's happening in the heart and the body, in the mind, and eventually discovering, understanding them little movements or the big movements that we have within of harming ourselves of being mean to ourselves or being judgmental or being in conflict with ourselves or getting caught in desires which I had maybe been pursuing them desires which will come back and harm us. Or if we pursue them, you notice some desires some addictive desires. For example, some does.
The addiction might it might bring pleasure in the short term, but can ruin a life in the long term, certain desires. We pursue. And in the short term, they're pleasant, but in the long term, they cause problems. If we, you know, if you overeat, it's pleasant, but then we have it, you know, groggy afterwards perhaps. Or if we have an affair, because it's pleasant to do, then afterwards, we realize how much harm that is caused to other people. So this idea of, you know, understanding deeply, how we get caught in desires, how we get caught, and cravings, and judgments and all this, and learning how to give ourselves a phenomenal break. Learning that we there's no need to be caught in the grip of desires, no need to be caught in the grip of hostility towards ourselves, there is a this place of respect, deeply within, where it's okay to relax, it's okay to just be it's okay to be here, just breathing below the surface level of the flow that chatter and and below the desire and hostility level. There was such a level that's just a labyrinth we get caught in, but to sit quietly learn to let go and quiet the mind and the thoughts and drop down to this place that's deeper. And the deeper calm we can experience, the more we'll understand ourselves, understand, when the little impulses arise, even the slightest one that involves self harm, has an ouch in it. And then we learn how to I don't have to do that, I can let go of that. So practicing non self harm, partly because we cherish ourselves, we value ourselves, and partly because it's just so painful to harm ourselves. And then knowing that discovering the wellsprings of non harming within is a foundation for caring for the world, caring for others, we come into the world, we meet others in a very different way. If we have learned the art, learn the skill and the capacity to minimize, and eventually hopefully stop how we bring about self harm, then we don't sacrifice that absence of self harm, don't sacrifice that piece. But it's a foundation from which to meet others care for others and care for the world. And that can be done tirelessly and that can be done with tremendous dedication. So this, this quote, don't give up your own welfare for the sake of others welfare, however great. Yes, don't do that. But if you don't do that, maybe you'll have a lot more energy to care for the people in your lives known unknown throughout the whole world. So not harming oneself.
