2023-07003-Gil-Aspiration (1 of 5) Aspiring to Stop Suffering

6:15PM Jul 10, 2023

Speakers:

Gil Fronsdal

Keywords:

aspiration

suffering

desire

compassion

alleviated

care

obligation

word

free

world

deep

sense

inspiration

norwegian

aspire

breathing

compassionate

outcome

attachment

learn

So hello everyone again. And my topic for this week. Exploration of compassion is the role of aspiration, in compassion. A common definition of compassion is to recognize suffering in the world, and have a feeling for it, to have kind of some kind of resonance with that suffering, to feel it to have some some sympathy with it, or empathy with it. And to have a desire for that suffering to be alleviated. And that and is a hugely important part of compassion and a desire for it to be alleviated. Compassion can exist without necessarily, we being the person who is going to alleviate the suffering. But it's still the desire is there. And, within certain circumstances, it makes sense that we have the desire to do something, we have the ability to do it, it's appropriate to do it, maybe, sometimes it's no one else who could help with the suffering that people are experiencing. And so we offered to do something. And so the common definition does involve a desire. But desire is a kind of somewhat vague word or somewhat broad word. And so I prefer to call it aspiration. And part of the reason for this is that I think that generally, to aspire to something to aspire to do something doesn't come along with duty or obligation. And aspiration comes from someplace deep inside, it's an inspiration, it's a welling up of an inner desire that is offered, arises freely or arises without need, perhaps or without a lot of ego or self centeredness. It has a kind of a deep source within. And there's a kind of open endedness to aspiration. It's different for me different than hope or wishing, aspiration, wants to see something happen, but knows that it might not. It's not aspiration is not attached to the outcome. And to act in the world of compassion to act compassionately, from aspiration, maybe is a wonderful gift, because it frees ourselves from the tightness and pressure, of accomplishment of succeeding. And in sometimes when we're compassionate to others. It's enough for them to know that we have the desire, the aspiration to help where we're making the effort to help, even if we don't succeed, the idea that someone cares about you cares enough to make efforts to support you, sometimes is the medicine that what's needed more than the outcome. And so aspiration is the other there's no like aspiration, because the word is connected to breathing. And so it has this kind of, in my mind, this idea of having a deeper source within our body, within our heart, that's different than anything that the mind comes up with the thinking, the logic, the analysis of the situation, it has some kind of deeper upwelling, to aspire. And to take the time when we're in the presence of suffering or feel it to not rush to judgment, not rush to obligation that rush to something has to happen here. When that rush is motivated by our own distress or own discomfort, our own sense of self centered kind of obligation or our own need to do something, but rather take a time to relax with it and to be present. And see what is the aspiration that flows out of us. What's the desire the wish for that? That is that has this kind of open endedness this freedom to it. Not something that puts us back in bondage or puts us clamps us down or narrows us with something it actually feels like an hour Breathing now we can breathe more easily, as opposed to getting stressed and tight and our breathing becomes more contracted and, and tight and narrow. So aspiration, and, and so this week I'll talk about the five different disease, the different aspects of aspiration. And the and two for today, the simple idea is that part of the aspiration when it's compassionate, is to want suffering to stop. It's our own suffering someone else's suffering, to want it to stop. But to want them to have that desire that want wanting to no longer be there is a, because we know that life doesn't have to be suffering all the time. We don't have to be living always under the pressure, the tension, the hurt, the pain, the stress of what you know, life brings us and our own struggles and all this difficulties and heartbreak that we can have. That there is a there is an outcome, there is a way of coming into a very different relationship to this difficult world we are in one in which we don't contribute. We don't enact we don't add to the difficulties of life, the kind of suffering of the stress, the suffering of contraction, the suffering of that comes with attachment and clinging. And we can learn in practice that we don't have to do that. There's another way of being. And as we learn that, then we learn how to have aspiration, that's free of attachment, aspiration, this free of force, assertiveness, aspiration that's free of conceit, it's just a beaut, it's a beautiful quality, that have a compassionate aspiration. And, and to be motivated by that beautiful aspiration is very different than being motivated by an obligation or, or a sense of duty, that responsibility that many people get caught in, in a way that's not beneficial. So to have a wish to, to, to not just simply be present for experiences we encounter in the world situations, not learn not to be mindful of it not care. But to or mindfulness with the awareness of it comes along with a care. And I learned yesterday that the word aware awareness comes from the kind of Anglo Germanic source that actually means to care. And, and so I looked it up my native Norwegian. And sure enough, in Norwegian that English sometimes what's the W in English is a V in Norwegian, and Tavar Hawk, which is, means taught me to take bhava is the where, take where take cares what it means. And so I love this idea that awareness means to care to take care, and, and so to care. And in that caring, to care enough also about ourselves. So with when we're in the, in encountering suffering and being present for it, being aware of it, we are taking the time to look for where's the aspiration here? Where's the inspiration, what desire comes out of inspiration, around the suffering to stir into the inspiration for it to come to an end to stop. So So I would encourage you to spend some time exploring your desires, thinking about when you have desires, desire to end to stop something that's painful and suffering, and to see the quality of that desire. Is it does it come along with something that is actually stressful? Actually, that feels, you know that it's a grating or, or somehow diminishes something inside of you that desire that because of the need the attachment that's there? Or is this encounter with suffering and the desires that report from it? Can it Is there someplace where there's a sense of aspiration or inspiration that supports the desire to stop or to bring this to an end? And, and the. So those are my thoughts today. And

maybe from having been away for a month on a silent retreat, maybe that I don't have many more words. And we'll stop early today. And I do look forward to happy, very happy to be here and look forward to continuing the series on aspiration in relationship to compassion over these next days. And we'll be here on the Fourth of July. So I don't know what you all are doing, but I'll continue for the whole week. So thank you