[ 151 ] Summary of a Mindfulness Meditation Group Meeting on Cultivating Presence, Compassion, and Community – with Joe Parent – with Joe Parent

    12:08AM Mar 12, 2024

    Speakers:

    joseph

    Mayra Lorenzana-Miles

    Keywords:

    feel

    practice

    self centeredness

    drifting

    mindfulness

    breath

    body

    awareness

    words

    open

    wisdom

    mind

    notice

    bit

    compassion

    breathing

    people

    breathe

    chin

    intention

    And the moment that's right, focused.

    Yes, I would say even even bigger perspective than focused. It's kind of the way you would look at a painting or a landscape. You step back and open your vision. So it is an open mind. But one with intention. So here's the combination, okay? The intention is to be more present, more open and interested and also more compassionate. We were to talk about an ultimate goal. It would be to fulfill our human potential, which is the capacity to know and the capacity to feel. That is the those are the two qualities of human experience. Human consciousness. We have lots of different words. You know, in the in the Tibetan tradition, there are dozens of words for mind. And that's because that's what they were interested in in the same way the Eskimos have 20 some different words for snow because that's what they're, that's what they're working on. That's what they're interested in. So what we're talking about here is working with the the potential that we have, the nature of mind that's common to everyone is the capacity to know and the capacity to feel and the highest human values. The highest human expression of those is wisdom and selfless love. Now, the wisdom is also goes beyond self centeredness, because to the extent that we are self centered, we see things in a biased way. And another word in English for bias is partial. And partial has two meanings. One it means preferring one thing over another and the other is partial, you only see part of the picture. So wisdom sees the whole picture from ideally infinite perspectives rather than just what's in it for me. That's the wisdom part. The completion the love part, is also selfless. Love, it compassion, warmth, caring about all beings, rather than just what's in it for me. So what they have in common is transcending self centeredness. I just gave a presentation this morning we, the there are so many synonyms for self centeredness, we are self absorbed. Synonyms are related word self seeking, self clinging self cherishing self ish self and the dangerous when it's self righteous. And and egocentric, egocentric goal so so the the, when we use the word ego, it's not necessarily the use of it as an individual, individual person. It is the self centered aspect. The egotistical aspect, ego clinging, self clean, okay, so that's, that's the intention that you go into mindfulness and awareness, practice with know beyond that. With it, on the basis of that intention, what works the best is as open and big a perspective as you can. So the way you hold your mind is, first I want to see and feel and hear what's going on not trying to make it into one thing or another, other than this intent, to line up with our intention. And to do that, first we have to recognize what the interferences we have to recognize the habits that we have that go towards self centeredness and self cleaning. And notice how quickly they come up and react. But the perspective part is called sense of humor. So if you were to say, what is the basic perspective, the way to hold your mind was your question, right? Yes, with a sense of humor. That doesn't mean carelessness. You can use when people try too hard to get to careful. And then they feel frustrated. Oh, God, I wandered so much during that session. That was a bad meditation. Oh, I was there for a lot of this one. That was a good meditation. And then we start judging good, bad. And we start evaluating instead of the purpose, which is to learn. Sometimes you learn a lot more from a so called Bad meditation where your mind was all over the place. But you notice where it went so you actually learn more. With that prospective, sense of humor, that's the perspective and then within that, what am what's going on learning what's going on. And then once you learn what's going on, and you see the way mind moves, then you can apply the techniques with a light touch, not heavy handed. To move in the direction we want to move in the direction we want to move is if you to to have wisdom or insight. Well, there's uh, have you ever gotten a little raffle ticket? Do you know what that is? raffle ticket. Well, if the if the drawing is is at an event, sometimes on the other side it says you must be present to win. So that's the slogan we can remember for our mindfulness. You must be present to win because if you're not, you're you're you're not. You're not aware of what's going on. You're off in a daydream. We have a sense of humor. The most judgment we have about that is Oh, there I go again. So you're, you're being mindful of your breath, your body, your perceptions, whatever it is, that's the anchor of your mindfulness in the present moment. And then your mind drifts off into the past future or someplace else in the present. You know, our body you don't have a time machine in the backyard. Do you? Does anybody have a time machine in their backyard? If you don't, then your body can't be in the past or the future. It can only be in the present so something connected with our body is always good as an anchor. We experienced the five senses in the present moment we experienced the our physical, our body, our breath, all happening in the present moment. Thoughts about those things can take us away. Our mind is a time machine. You can go into the past in the future and elsewhere in the present, but then our body and our mind are not synchronized. So the purpose of mindfulness practice is to spend more time with your body and mind synchronize. And so with a light touch, you notice ah, I was just wondering and and at some point as you practice more, you can start to catch it sooner. And you can start to feel what it feels like to drift off. And you go and you Oh, wait a minute. I don't have to go any further than that. I don't have to go any further than two thoughts into that daydream. Because once we're four or five thoughts, we're in you know what I mean? Okay. So we have a sense of humor about that. One of my teachers was so open to what was going on around him. He was talking with somebody and not even looking at me, and it was a story that I'd heard already. And my mind started to drift. And it felt like it got about this far and he was facing this direction. He turned around he said you don't need to do that. And then went back to his conversation. It was like he could feel me behind him with my mind drifting off. So that's something interesting to aspire to. But

    we can feel it we can feel when we start to drift and we go I don't need to do that. And we let go. So that's the basic, basic perspective. Identify with the awareness that's noticing those things, rather than with the thoughts and experiences you're having. Those come and go the awareness that those are the contents the awareness is the container and it's what notices it's what notices Oh, drifting or notices while I was gone. Thank you for that question. It let me do the presentation I was even thinking of earlier, so that's good. Well, thank

    you for that. Very helpful, is that clarify a little bit good. And I feel it's really like walking on a tightrope. You know, to maintain this awareness like it's really a balancing act, and it's something that requires well,

    okay, so so all I would suggest is lay the tightrope on the ground. Then you won't worry so much about being being perfectly on it. was tipped off. What do you know? You don't get hurt when you step off that the mindfulness, so we don't want to make it too tight. Okay, thanks. You're welcome, Myra. Nice to see you.

    Nice to see you. It

    seems that in that answer, you almost summarize all your four years of teaching here. You one presentation. What brings to man because one of your gifts is not only what you know and your experience but how your instructions help us to feel in the way that you somatically feel the body maybe raising the eyebrow sort of allowing the energy to come down very slowly. And I think two things first, that the answer that you gave is more from the tradition of what you follow. I happen to believe and that's the one that I like. But there's a lot of instructions regarding mindfulness that may be more as to calm abiding or insight in within the Buddhism there's so many different schools, you know, you can go a Sango bus or bamboo Theravada and all that are going to the same thing. But would you say that in your answer that is not that the only way but the way that maybe we end feeling it or do you think that is in terms of mindfulness the way the only way?

    Well, Francois was asking me the big picture. So I was presenting the end goal, which is the same for all. In fact, it's not. It's not particularly different from any other spiritual tradition, wisdom and selfless love. Right? Okay. So this particular way, is a combination of abiding in peace and insight. So, the way that we start, we have to start with peace or calm and sometimes they just summarize it in two words calm and clear. And metaphor is, is a fast moving stream, or a lake with the wind is blowing hard, and the top of the surface is all white. And you can't see underneath, but when the surface is calm, you can see all the way to the bottom. So you can't have insight in the midst of upheaval. I like to say you can't see straight if you're bent out of shape. Right? So, first, we even things out a little bit and work with again with a sense of humor, catching ourselves when we go off and being kind to ourselves when we have emotional upheavals and, and use the breathing and the body to slow things down a little bit, calm things down a little bit. And and it's not they have to be perfectly calm, then we can start seeing a little more wisdom or seeing just little little short periods of calm. And that provides a moment of insight. Say, Oh, well, maybe maybe I'm okay. Even if things even if the world isn't exactly the way I need it to be. Oh, maybe even just Well, I'd like it to be rather than I need it to be. You can feel I know. You and I have worked on this a lot. You can just say to yourself you know, I need things to be this way and everything tightened. And you go I'd like things to be this way and things relax a little bit more. And then I can handle however things are that's now we're talking. So that's the direction we're moving.

    Thank you. Thank you so much. I learned so much every time

    I was talking with the vice regents wife, Lila and she was talking about her first experience meeting Trungpa Rinpoche and she said not only did I had I never met somebody like that before. I didn't know there could be a person like that before. And and she said I couldn't believe it. He he really didn't give a shit. Know he

    and then she said you know he really really didn't give which meant there was there was nothing can no concern for this direction. Or that way. And and the wisdom part. This came up when I asked him about there's a ceremony in Buddhist practice in the Buddhist tradition called Taking refuge or going for refuge. And refuge means rely, you could say more reliance I'm going to it's a little sort of tricky when things get translated to English. Sometimes they have a different tone, but it's I will rely for my well being on the Buddha as an example and the dharma as the path and the Sangha as companions on the on that path. And when you take that the avow for of that reliance. Traditionally, in Asian countries, you would get a new name. In fact, in some in some Asian countries, the name that your parents give you was just your nickname and you wouldn't get your real name until the teacher gave you a name but his name and I

    remember che.

    a question in our meeting and I said, you know, some of the people in here I was a little arrogant some of us have spent all their time with you. But some people you've only interviewed for a minute, and then you're gonna give them a name that represents their path for their whole life. How can you do that? And then in his high pitched voice when someone walks into a room, there's a fantastic display. And, and because there was so little concern for this, he his wisdom, I have perception. He saw the whole thing out there that was in front of him. So that's the kind of wisdom that we're talking about. It goes and it only comes up when we can go beyond self centeredness. So that's what our practices

    thank you in any any skill that comes through my presentation I owe only to my teachers, the mistakes are mine. was Shall we practice those. are two great.

    thank you so much for the you know that that's that's where the teaching comes from the students. So, for our practice, we're going to do a little grounding and settling with our eyes closed. But then mindfulness awareness practice in this tradition we do with our eyes open will. So it's good to either move your turn your seat or your if you're in a chair or move your device like I'm doing so that you're not looking directly into a screen. You can view that if if the keyboard happens to be in front of you, that's okay, but not directly into the screen. It's not good for your eyes. And we'll we'll do short practices. As tastes. And you can always go on the website and play the recording, and hit pause. Where if you want to do more of any of the practices, so we'll do a centering. Then we'll do something called close placement, where we're holding our mind it's a close anchor, the internal sensation of the body and the breathing. So that we're very much aware of whether we're here connected to the body or mind is drifting off elsewhere. And then we'll open up and mix mind and space on the medium of the breath. And that's more expensive. So it's good to have a little stabilizing with close placement and then you open up and then from that openness, within that openness, we see how all beings are similar. And so that is our basis for a little bit. of compassion practice which is more of a contemplation than a mindfulness meditation. Okay, so as the gong fades. Take your seat, get settled, and it's helpful to have an upright posture, not leaning back unless you have to. And the upright posture. is helpful. to do that.

    Feel your sit bones balance on your seat not tilted too much to the right or left and also not tilted too much forward or backward. Your legs are a base and if you're in a chair, and your hips are higher than your knees, your your feet can be flat on the floor, hip width apart with your lower legs perpendicular to the ground to the floor. If your knees are higher than your hips, just cross your legs there under your and let your knees spread apart so that your knees are lower than your hips and you won't have as much strain on your legs or your lower back for your torso. You want to feel like there's a it's like a tent pole and and your spine is like a tent pole and the rest of your body is hanging from it like Canvas before it's pulled out into a tent. So start with feeling like from your tailbone all the way up not just not just to the top of your back but the top of the back of your head is a straight line. To do that you'll feel that your your chin chosen a little bit because if we sit with our chin sticking out, the breath doesn't flow freely and we're not upright. And if our chin tilts up, we get spaced out and it tilts down we get sleepy when the back of the neck and the back of the head extend gently upward. You know that nice? It's you actually have curvature but it feels like a straight line let your upper arms hang straight down from your shoulders leaving your elbows where they are you swivel your hands up, palm down each thigh. If you're used to having your hands in your lap, one on top of the other just below your navel with your thumbs lightly touching that's fine what I'd like you to do also feel like your breastbone your sternum raises up and forward just a tiny bit. quarter of an inch or centimeter you'll feel how your your chest opens up across it your shoulders come back a little bit. Your lungs filled with air much better that way. We spent so much time with rounded shoulders and collapsed chest. You don't have to pull your shoulders back. Just raise your sternum a little bit and everything falls into place. Although your chin is pulled in, your jaw is relaxed. Don't Don't try hard to pull your chin and it's really more of a response to your the back of your neck extending up a bit we're going to breathe in through our nostrils many people are comfortable breathing both in and out through your nostrils. If if you're more comfortable with a little bit of air coming out your mouth, that's okay too. But we're not doing this this particular practice is not a manipulated breathing. You're not going

    should be pretty pretty close to silent. It's letting the body breathe itself and you're just observing short breath a long breath a deep breath a shallow breath doesn't matter.

    Now that we have that posture let's. let's clear away. unnecessary tension we might have not even be aware of your face and your jaw.

    Just let it soften.

    neck and shoulders although you're using some tension to hold up your breastbone, just let your shoulders fall naturally. lower back deep belly and pelvic region. Sometimes were clenching down there. Don't even realize it. Let go without losing your uprightness.

    arms and hands hips and legs

    let them be let any tension slow down and out of them.

    Now we've connected with our whole body inhabiting our whole body. Let your awareness wrist deep in the core of your torso. Feel the depth front to back as well as side to side we're three dimensional beings. You'll have it expands as you breathe in.

    how it contracts as you breathe out. There's a feeling as if the breath is going all the way down deep into the core of your torso. It's actually the diaphragm pushing down and pushing up. Pulling down and pushing up. But it feels like the breath comes in your nostrils down your back. Filling your coat filling your deep core and filling your chest

    and then emptying

    mainly leave your awareness there below your navel quiet down there.

    Just feel the breathing.

    Let it have its own rhythm like the little waves coming up on the shore from a lake just running up a little bit. Running back down sometimes further sometimes shorter

    it's quiet and peaceful

    let your eyes just slowly open about halfway so you're looking just down past your nose. Just a couple of feet in front of you. No more than a meter

    and soften your gaze so that it's not like you're looking at a particular thing or a particular point which you're just aware of the space that your body is sitting in. You're aware of your body in that space. You can see it on the bottom of your peripheral vision

    so your mind is resting deep in your core. You're aware of your posture and space your body sitting in and if you do wander off into a daydream, there'll be a moment when you realize you're already back. You don't have to pull yourself back. You're already back. That's where you wake up

    from here.

    Just smile go Ah that was wondering where that was thinking. Reconnect with your posture and your breathing and as we practice we noticed that pattern drifting, returning, drifting and returning we'll do that for a couple of minutes.

    Your posture if you need to. Know where your eyes be open naturally. Good posture and your eyes are open naturally. Your gaze is in a particular direction, not too far down. Not straight out a little bit below horizontal. Soften that gaze open up your peripheral vision. You may have to relax your face muscles a little bit really open up your peripheral vision side to side, top to bottom. Now we use the fact that the mind wanders to include everything in the environment. So you may notice sounds, you may notice visual occurrences sights. You may notice bodily sensations you may notice thoughts drifting across your mind. They're all included in awareness of the present moment. As the breath goes out, it actually mixes with the environment with the space in the room the air in the room in the same way. Open up your mind, use the breath to have that feeling of opening. The breath goes out and mixes with the atmosphere. Let your mind go out and mix with the space. Let your mind be as big as the space.

    Out open,

    just resting that openness, let the body breathe in by itself. You're aware of it without focusing on it. Out. Open. Like go and rest

    open let go and rest

    the the container of awareness let whatever contents come up in your awareness. Let them come and go

    again. If a thought captures your mind when you realize it when you wake up from the Daydream. Just smile say that was thinking

    out open Rest

    It is the Golden Age. Just go out with your breath. and let go of the technique. Just be open

    raising your gaze a little to look straight out. Now imagine if your awareness extends beyond the room you're in. All the way out to the horizon in all directions when it's open to the whole region imagine that your awareness extends out to the sky in all directions and above you. Mind like the sky

    all living beings are under that same sky working on the same earth breathing the same Earth's atmosphere

    feeling. suffering the way you feel suffering feeling well being the way you feel well being.

    Rose from your heart of compassion, your herd of selfless love just. tune into. an extend outward feeling I wish wellbeing for all. Imagine that you could send well being. to all living beings. Health. Contentment

    is security

    imagine as you breathe in that you could take from all living beings take away their suffering.

    The illness

    the anxiety, the fear

    of drawing poison out of a snake bite

    and the poison is the cause of so much suffering in the world. The poisonous emotions of greed, hatred, ignorance, closed mindedness.

    jealousy, anger

    and ultimately self centeredness.

    and imagine.

    that as you breathe in you could draw out like poison from a snake bite all of these negative emotions from all beings, including yourself freed from those poisons and send out to yourself and others light rays of wisdom and compassion filling all the beings in the world with patients. acceptance. understanding

    caring and love.

    May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering?

    May we all

    enjoy happiness and the causes of happiness

    we may we all

    experience. selfless love

    and a joy

    beyond temporary happiness

    maybe we all experience freedom

    from any bias to attachment or aversion.

    Thank you for your practice. And we like to conclude with that same intention of going beyond self centeredness and caring for others with wisdom and selfless love. We dedicate the benefit from the practice we've just done. And you can repeat after me or say in your own words. Made the practice I've just done. Even more benefit to others

    than to myself.

    Thank you so much for your practice. And we have a few minutes over about five minutes before the top of the hour. And then and then I like to stay for a few minutes of overtime. or extra time as they say across the pond.

    If you have any

    questions about the practice, or discussion or about anything you'd like to address the floor is open and the chat is open.

    Thank you for your notes in the chat. And is Francois still here?

    No, doesn't look like it. I chased him away. to. wrote in the chat. Do you think there's any extra benefit to meditating with the same group of people consistently? I don't know if there's an extra bench.

    To for the exact same group of people. I think the benefit is if we've been practicing and receiving teachings together, then questions can benefit others because we're doing the same practice. I also think that knowing that other people are doing the same practice. It's the support of that third, what they call the Three Jewels of Buddha's example, dharma as path and Sangha as companions. And it is a metaphor. Well, the way it's described is there you feel the support of others. But you're you're not only you're not dependent, you're interdependent. You're not independent, you're not dependent, you're interdependent. And so everyone's there if someone's falling down, but if someone's falling down or doesn't pull everyone down with them

    it's like that

    and there's an inspiration that we're all especially if we see each other often that we're still doing it

    and sometimes you think I'll I don't know if I feel like it, but everybody's getting together then there's some there's some social forces that actually make it easier to practice.

    I just have to acknowledge that.

    well. in seeing I think it's all the states except Arizona and some parts of other states. It's daylight savings time, so you may still be laid out where you are enjoy the the otherwise enjoy the evening. And in Europe, I think they start next week. So it gets a little confusing sometimes, but in about a week, then we'll be saying page Laura, thank you for your your comments. Laura also attends a program that we do every morning called compassion for Ukraine. said eight o'clock in the morning Pacific time. I will see if I can put the link in and you're welcome to come and check it out. We find the link here. There we go. Just says the zoom. This is the website and has the Zoom link on it

    so we do some of the basic breathing meditation that we were doing and the exchanging self for others. The Tibetan word is Tong Len

    in the Middle East

    and then there's some discussion afterwards on different topics. So everyone's welcome. And then at nine o'clock tomorrow pacific time right after that is my we're going to do this kind of practice. Again. So you're warmly warmly invited thank you all.

    Have a good evening?

    Myra, are you still there?

    Is that her picture?

    I think it has her picture. I can tell because it's not the full screen. Good. Thank you, Alyssa. No problem. I'll see you next time. Okay, see you next time. Bye.