Care of Magical Shippers Podcast Epiosde 24 - Rita Skeeter: Beetle my beating heart! (Rita Skeeter/???)

5:44AM Mar 13, 2022

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Care of Magical Shippers Podcast

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Hey there listener Fancy seeing you here. Look, sometimes due to the things we discuss on the pod, it might contain potentially triggering content. But the good news is you can always review the episode description for a full list of the warnings applicable to this episode. Oh, and just so you know, this episode is rated are really filthy. It includes adult themes and explicit content. So if you're an adult, buckle up, Gird your loins and prepare to flood the basement because we are going down with these ship

crashes don't care if I get my bearings? Well, then you can hit the bricks. This is my own CP

Welcome back to Care of Magical shippers podcast. It's a Harry Potter ship culture podcast. I am your co host, Nathan. Introduce.

Yeah, me.

Anyway, buddy, welcome back to our whatever this episode is gonna be this week. This week, we had an idea. Then Max messaged me and was like, No, you know what? don't like that idea. We're going to do something completely different soon. So that I was like, Okay, and do you want to do another character centric episode. And so I was I was thrown out a couple of character names. And we were trying to think about like, what, what's a minor character? That's interesting enough to us that we could talk at length about that. That has interesting implications. And we both sort of settled on, Rita Skeeter.

Yes.

That's what today's episode is.

Because we kind of got into her I think in the Hagrid episode, because we talked about her interviewing Hagrid and yeah, all the like implications with her using her feminine wiles to get, you know, all the scoops that she needs to like, I feel like she's a character like she's written like, I don't feel like she's written to be like, promiscuous, but she's definitely written confidence. You know what I mean? Like, she's like, Yes, I know, like I want and I'm well known for what I do. And I don't care to what extent I have to take to get what I need to get the get the scoop. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, um, it's, and I'm sure that she I see. Now, when I think of her Of course, we we've seen the quick quotes, Quill, you know, it's like, oh, she interviews and it always gives some, like, elaborate alternative telling that is, yeah, maybe 10% What is actually said by the person. But I'm curious what she wrote, like, younger, like how she got into journalism, and like, whether it was something that she actually took very seriously. And then it didn't really get anywhere because either like, maybe she was trying to get like real news. You know, what I mean? Like, the profit and like, which weekly and all those things that it's just like, it's all about the drama and the crazy thing that happened and who's you know, Harry Potter and blah, blah, and all this stuff. And I could only imagine her just being like, we need to look into like, I think of Percy like look into color and thickness and the issues that are at hand of having the be too thin and whatever. Yeah. And realizing that that's not the way she could make it in that business and how she kind of created Rita Skeeter. I also could see that not being her real name. Like her. Oh,

absolutely. It's a suit.

A suit. Yeah. So

yeah.

I'm curious who Rita was. You know what I mean? Like,

yeah. And if anybody remembers her from her Hogwarts days, assuming she went to Hogwarts, we know there are some students that get homeschooled. We know that there are some students that go to other schools, so she doesn't necessarily have to have gone to Hogwarts. Are you googling in the back?

Yeah, I could have swore she was the Raven blah. Like oh, she.

I see. I could have sworn she was a sliver and we will find out.

Oh, it was never confirmed. It can be as you say, who knows it. Who knows. This is where head cannons come in. So

well. Maybe she started a newsletter while she was at Hogwarts. decided that she was going to edit that and start her own, like acting on column. I could see people writing to her and going dear Rita, I problem with a bully in third year. Can you tell them to piss off please?

yeah like I don't know if you have it there but here like Dear Abby is a big thing. Yeah like yeah you know papers or whatever so Yeah something like that could definitely be Oh cuz who is it that does I don't know if this is for real or if this was something we came up with I it's all blurring together Nathan I feel like we talked about a character doing like like in the Quibbler or something being like whether it was Mrs. Weasley or someone giving tips to like like home tips like having like a little column of like tips for the home or something that like I don't know. I have no idea

you see no all I'm remembering is the the sexual wellness pamphlet

This isn't what oh no. That from from my fic No, I have no idea maybe I just I don't know maybe I read it in a fic or just making this up but anyway, like would

be a good thing. Oh, yeah, that thing? Yeah,

yeah. So it was it would be have someone aside from Lockhart that actually knows what they're doing as far as like taking care of things and whatnot because you have you know, you have that and whatever but I also think like Hey, say she went to Hogwarts and yay yeah made said whatever newsletter or things like that, like maybe the hot like just Hogwarts little, like little profit thing. And what if she was actually like, kind of like a Moaning Myrtle character like maybe like really awkward glasses and was like, kind of that like, no one saw her quiet in comparison to like, we know. Lockhart is attractive. He knew he was attractive. And we assume he knew through school and like all of these various things like she could definitely be one of those, like transformative characters have like, obviously takes on a new name changes her look and does all this and comes out of nowhere as someone different and new when they'd be like, Oh, we didn't know that. That was you know, whatever, Susan, whoever that we went to school with like, that has that transformation post school that you know, everyone is just like shocked by be that from insecurities or ambition or whatever. And because yeah, she's been in the thick of and the most well known as far as doing like, expose a you know, ridiculous articles and things like right and so but yeah, no, I mean, hey, she did the life in lies of Dumbledore and she obliviated but tilde and was like, pretty much doing what Lockhart Did you know what I mean? Like, I'm curious if she knew that he like she knew that he did it that way. Or maybe they were like, I think we might have mentioned this too. Like, they were kind of in on it together. It's like how they like she helped him with writing the books or, you know, something like that. Like, I just, I could see them being some sort of like, I don't know, like confident duo, not necessarily romantically, I could see that. Like, I absolutely could see them romantically involved, but I could also see them professionally. like kind of like partners in crime. You know what I mean? It's funny

that you should bring that up because I actually, the first ever travel I wrote involves the life in lies of Albus Dumbledore as a as a conceit because you bring up Lockhart and he had, either he had his books ghost written, or he wrote them himself. But like, after all of the work had basically been done for him. And I so in this trouble, which, I hope that it's going to be linkable by the time this episode airs. And if it is, it will be in the description. I'll have that up on EO three. I quote unquote, promise while I try and get my act together. Because I've never I've never, like uploaded a oh three before. So I have no idea about tags, but provided I can get myself so

I figured, okay,

well, so in this so in the conceit of the struggle is that it's actually the book is actually written by Remus Lupin, and yeah, so ah, yeah, so I so it's interesting that you made the connection between Rita and Gilroy because I really think they have to, to a certain degree be playing the same sort of roles because like you say she has an over reliance on her quick quotes quill she's not really editing or proofing what she's doing very much. She's just letting the quill run rampant, and just writing whatever it comes out with, but I reckon she didn't always start off that way. At least in my head cannon. Yeah. I think she she has to have started wanting to report serious causes or things she was moved by But that in my head, in my head, what happened was, she had a tryst with some wizard who was quite high up at the ministry. And, and felt slighted by how he ended their relationship, or she ended their relationship. And so then as a result of that, she sort of got into gossip as a way to get vengeance on this person. And thus, this is when the Rita Skeeter pseudonym comes into.

So maybe it was like her first, like, first gossip, you know, sort of like expose a sort of thing. Yeah, probably coming for some dude. And then it just kind of probably had really good like it took off well, like she got a lot of really good press, or people were really into it and be at a magazine or profit just started selling, you know, like crazy. And so then all of a sudden, it was like, well, and now Rita is born. And that's just Oh, I love that. I love it so much. But I just, I wonder who she has. That's like, aside from her literally, like, Tom Riddle style manipulating people, you know what I mean? Like, who? So many people know that she's, like, shady, you know what I mean? Like, people know that she's a terrible person. But obviously, then there's plenty of people who love what she writes. And then who does she actually have like genuine connections with professionally or even like in real life? Like, I could see people being like, nice to her out of, you know, trying to stay out of the papers. You know what I mean? Like if they had a yes with Rita, she would come for them. So yeah, power that she holds. I mean, it shows power, the press or whatever. But obviously wizarding world has no checks and balances as far as that goes. And just lets things just run run rampant. But yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's fake news gone wild. I mean, it is really, it is. It's astonishing. Actually, the amount of commentary about journalism books from the 90s and 2000s have about the current state of actually what we're living through. There are so it's so worrying, like you read a character like Rita Skeeter, and you think, oh, yeah, they're exaggerated for comic effect. Yeah. It's it's making a grand point about journalism and the media in general. Now, you look at someone like return go, these people went to post it imitate her like for like that, right? Yeah. And I don't know if it's just that we've grown up so that we're more attuned to recognizing that, or if it's just become more acute, but I expect that both things have happened. They've sort of couldn't converge to form one hellish outcome. But you're right, when you're you, you say, you know, who does Rita really have? And I think that might be one of the reasons that she is an unregistered on the Megan's because it allows her proximity to people that she wouldn't get through retail. You know, she is, I mean, it's creepy because she's spying on people. Yeah. But at the same time,

she's getting like crawling, shoulders hanging out. And

she's, like, just like, I want to get right up and close to this action. I don't care if it kills me in the process.

I'm gonna catch a couple of teenagers kissing like,

yes. Also, you know, how easy would it be if for someone to just swap the beetle out their hair, and then the beetle falls on the ground or something? And it's hurt, presumably, when she transfigures back or whatever? Or Or maybe if she's stuck in Beagle form. If she said, how does that work?

Oh, my gosh, I don't I don't, oh, well, you think of what is it? Like? Serious gets like bit by the werewolf and stuff? Are they going attack oku in their form, and then they come back and they might have some injuries? Like I think that you know, that does happen because obviously remote has his scars all over. But he obviously gets them by biting and scratching himself while in wearable form. So it obviously translates over. So I'm sure it would, I mean, but it's like to something small depending on what damage was done. I mean, oh my lord, like who knows? But well, yeah, cuz it's like, I mean, you'd assume that she probably could fly away. But if something happened to a wing, or like, you know, anything like that, and yeah, cuz yeah, of course, you're just tossing bugs. Like you're just whacking bugs. You know what I mean? Like, even when you think of Chrome like picking it out of her hair like that. You know, like, it's just such a, I don't know. Yeah,

I don't know. I know. The thing is, okay. She could cast like a little charm around herself to stop herself being damaged, I guess. Yeah, but I but it's, it's really ambiguous because then as you say, how would crumby able to pick her up out of families? Yeah. And, you know, how are people in general supposed to be like supposed to be an omegas aware that like, because it Bellatrix even says when she's with NASA, and they're, they're going to spin it end, she kills a fox on a on the side of a bank, because she thinks it's another wizard. So some people clearly are attuned to the idea that there are anime J just in the wild everywhere. And you have to be like, on the lookout for them. But with something as small as a beetle, like how, like cars, cars, you could go insane with that. You could be like, well, like what, like a tiny little fruit fly, and hardly be visible at all, and then just accidentally get whacked.

It's so mad or whatever. Yeah,

it's just so unsafe. Like, I'm glad Rita doesn't die. But also, there should be there should just be better health and safety practices around like automakers forms, but also please don't creep on like teenagers kissing. It's weird. And don't do that for an adult. It's no yeah, it's just not a good look. Rita go away.

And then there's Hermione. There's Hermione with a jar. So it's like she's literally trapped in there and can't. I mean, I'd imagine she could transform and the glass would shatter, you know, I mean, like, I feel good, but it's not like she's gonna do it and show herself in Hogwarts. You know what I mean? If she's, yeah, and from Hogwarts. So that is that as funny just to see her, it's like, Oh, we got to stay. We gave her a stick and a leaf and we just have read. And, yeah, but, um, and that, and I always loved the them getting her to do it's just, it's like a double negative of getting her to write the article about Harry and what really happened in the Quibbler. Like, it's like, the author, that's the most ridiculous and absurd is writing the truth in an absurd, you know, tabloid. But yeah, you know, of course, people are still reading it and starting to believe it, regardless of that, but it also shows that people are willing to believe almost anything they read, you know what I mean? Like, the same thing goes for what the Prophet was saying. And then they read it in the Quibbler. And they're like, oh, like, obviously, this is, you know, whatever. So, but yeah, I don't know. I don't know. But the Quibbler

was always publishing weird things. Anyway, there was a sort of a, what was it? The rock fan conspiracy with Cornelius verge was like working in tandem with the goblins. And so maybe it wasn't the smartest idea to put that in the Quibbler. But really, the only wizarding publications that we know of that see any sort of a wide circulation? Yeah, the profit, the Quibbler.

And which weekly right? And then likes it and like Quidditch weekly? Which I think I don't even know if that comes out in canon or not, or if that's just a fanfiction, but I don't Oh, Transfiguration Today is Oh, yeah. Because he is reading that in his office. So that's true. I remember that one. So I know thing that's

really more of that. That strikes me as more of a general right.

specialize something like a potion? Yeah, you know, magazine or whatever. Like, but yeah, as far as major papers and things I mean, yeah. Which weekly which would be very probably more gossip tailored. And then the profit trying to be wizarding news, but also has stuff I don't, I don't know. Do you know

what I was thinking about? I honestly am surprised that there's not more memory theft going on in the wizarding world. Like in other way memories are like these tangible things you can put in a pensive. I am not, I am really surprised that there aren't more like penne saves in circulation. And that there is like a black market trade for people's memories so that then they can get really good stories off of you know, what actually happened and he has the scoop, and I, you know, maybe Rita Skeeters main job isn't a reporter at all. Maybe she's sort of like an insider trying to weed out these, like people that would do that sort of thing. And she's using like bad gossip columns and publications as a cover, right. She's up. She's obviously really clever and prodigious because she's an unregistered on amigas. What, what else don't we know about her? These are all skills that we might attribute To someone who say was had skills or aspirations to become an aura. And yet we see her doing tabloid journalism, which she might get a kick out of. But I also see it as maybe it's not the most Absolutely, wholly fulfilling career path for her.

Yeah. And I think of like you said, the anime guests and just the, the opportunity for her to actually be very strong at magic. Like, what if she was a legit elements? That was part of her ability to like, you talk about the memory thing, like she's able to actually get in people's heads and pull things that they want to keep hidden? And, but But yeah, I mean, opportunity to, I don't know, like, jump somebody and take them, you know, like just being able to take memories, the only thing I could figure is that it like memories, no, your own magic, and so only you can, you know, yeah, so that because we only ever see it like you're using your wand to remove your memories. So I could see that being a thing. But legitimacy does that for you like having being able to do that you're like getting into minds, which most people wouldn't be prepared to guard themselves for, like, they wouldn't think that they need to do that. So

but also, I mean, in the books, we sort of see that if you're using legitimacy, you tend to have to be in the same room as that person or like in proximity. I suppose the one exception is where Voldemort's doing it, like, remotely to hurry,

but they're like, it's their soul connection. I mean, I'm seeing like, she is interviewing somebody and they're telling her certain things and partly quick quotes Quill, but another part is her actually like, like, probably saw silly, you know, getting in there to get the goods, the extra stuff that's, you know, behind there and whatnot. I couldn't really see her like that, helping her get where she goes, like, yeah, imagine the amount of money that she probably gets when people are like buying her off, like not publishing things or whatever. Yeah, yeah. And the amount of blackmail that she utilizes and gets away with like, who, who knows, but,

which is why every single kid in Hogwarts should be taught or Clemente?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's obviously not easy, but it's obviously a concern that Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

You're, you're you have an entitlement to privacy. Yeah, as a human. And, like, sometimes, like, I love the wizarding world, obviously, we have an entire podcast devoted to, but sometimes when people's like, basic fundamental rights are violated, and it's just like, oh, yeah, it's no big deal. It's just for the equivalent. What? What? Okay, right. So, so yes, so everyone needs therapy, everyone needs to be taught clemency, and everybody is also secretly gay. You know, this is why you need this podcast to make sense of the nonsense, moral entanglements in the wizarding world.

So as far as Rita with shipping, who do you think you know, who do you see her with? Like, what? You know, what interests you with her as a pairing?

Oh, see, I think the temptation with Rita would be to match her with someone that is as Machiavellian or as ambitious as she is. And so you've got your lock hearts and you've got your own bridges. And while I can absolutely see both of those, totally, totally see them. I see her with somebody like Who do I see her with had ideas last night? Should have wrote them down?

Oh, no. I think there's the potential for Barty Crouch senior, because like she figures you know, she's like, looking into like, somehow it's found out that obviously, he's kept his son and whatever hidden and whatnot, but his wife had passed. He's like, on his own. Any sort of, like, hard working, like work obsessed, man, like getting attention from a pretty woman, like I could totally see her using that to her advantage, you know, sort of thing so I don't think it's like, necessarily a two way like she's emotionally invested. I think that's she's definitely I see a lot of her taking advantage of a lot of people and being fine with it. Like just not having that, you know, caring too. I do see like her and her and Lockhart but to the point of like them, I don't know, they'd be fighting over who's the more pretty, you know. Like, they're just not gonna say it like they're just you know, who's more, more successful and who's whatever, like, I don't know, maybe that's why they wouldn't work. Like I feel like Maybe Rita has like a secret. Nobody, you know, like like she actually happily married or happily in a relationship with someone who's completely off the radar because it's 100% Secret maybe because of what she does. And she has, like certain magic or things available to her to keep things private and secret that allows her to keep her personal life and her professional life separated as well. So, I don't know, like she could have some secret thing.

What if she had someone that knows her real name?

Yeah, someone knows her real name. Or it could be somebody who doesn't even I don't know, it'd be weird, but not impossible. But this person would be so out of the loop that wouldn't know who she was, like, professionally. And like when judged like wouldn't necessarily judged her but she's afraid that they would find out the type of work that she does and the lives she ruins and that she would lose said person. Or I mean, who knows? I don't know. I'm just picturing. Yeah, like, yeah, it just has some partner in a cabin in the woods, like not getting the profit like, I felt. So But

see, I think I had thought about her and Amelia bones, because Amelia bones, head of the department of magical law enforcement and I in my head, the only way she was circumventing all of these laws and getting all of this juicy gossip was if she had someone on the inside, you could let her know when the aura patrols were going to be out or when the the best time to go and get information from such and such was or who could like sneakily put the trace on someone who was over age so that they'd know, she'd know where they were. And so I was thinking it had to be someone in the ministry. It had to be someone in the department of law enforcement. And it had to be someone who was sympathetic to her needing to make a living wanting to be independent, but also really respectful of her talent as a witch and prodigious sort of sleuthing and journalistic skill.

So far more than literally everyone else.

Yeah, yeah.

But I mean, I already skewed but hey, you know,

well, well, yes. But but we like we all know the politicians are corrupt. And so I don't think it's massively out of character to suggest that there would be a person of higher influence at the ministry that was susceptible to a bribe of some description whether or not that sexual favors will you know, we'll we'll leave at the door.

It makes me think of the Joker Harley Quinn dynamic because like Harley Quinn Yes, is willing to do and look past anything because it's him. So something similar could happen between Rita and someone else that it's like they're blinded by their suppose it love of Rita like them being loved by her and willing to overlook and help or see is like, oh, what she's doing isn't bad. It's not really hurting anyone. I mean, people are getting like bad stuff written about them and might ruin a few careers but no one's physically hurt.

Yeah, or maybe she she's rationalized it because she's like, I've come through one wizarding war, I've literally had to see people die, and people be tortured. And compared to that, compared to that level of evil, this is just something that's like a necessary evil. Like one of those things that I'd rather I was having a handle on it and maybe reining in Rita's. I think it's perfectly possible for the person to be on the other side of this relationship. To go Yeah, I'm, I'm, I see myself as being in a position to afford this person more checks and balances than they would otherwise have. And it's worth it because I get to have them in my life, right? I do feel like we see in the books, that this idea of loyalty never really gets examined in any great detail. But if you if you push loyalty to an extreme, it is, you know, loyalty to one person at the expense of others is a common theme in the books.

Death theater, Voldemort Yeah, agenda. I mean, yeah, all these people are like, Oh, this is for the betterment of us and, and our like minded people, but everyone else is expendable. And you know, don't matter like completely. We got some loyalties that sometimes are like force like you could say that either over time Snape did respect and was loyal to Dumbledore or if it was more like he was obligated and and had spent so much time at the beck and call of this man that it was just, you know, I don't know. I don't know. It's definitely relationships are all over the place and I don't know.

Also the Snape Dumbledore things difficult because they're both such manipulative people that it's impossible ever really to get a an impartial read on either of them. And yeah, sure Dumbledore presents as more affable and more cuddly. And it's a it's a, it's a cuddlier kind of control, but it's still control at the end of the day. And really, Snape is very flawed. I have a lot of issues with how how, how, like, ready Snape is to traumatize kids, that is not a good thing. But he's trying his best, you know, and I have to ask myself, is Rita someone who I really think has been maneuvered into the position she's in? But he's trying her best within it to be the best sort of a person she can be? Or is she just that morally gray person who's perfectly happy to be sitting on the sidelines reporting everything, like the spider at the center of this huge web? You know? Yeah, but this huge network? Oh, what if she got with Slughorn? I totally see that bigger thing now. Because he has all of his connection. Yes. He has all of his favorites. They all write to him. They're all they all owe him favors. And what if in, you know, if it's like, well, if you do this for me, Rita's not going to write this op ed piece on your on the leak that was like, Yeah, left your office two weeks ago,

you know? Yeah. And it's another instance of like, maybe he was a teacher when she was at school and could see, like, was already starting to, like, kind of build her opportunities. You know what I mean? Like, just already building a plan and the way that she's going to get ahead in the world and things like that, but yeah, yeah, no, that's true. Like he, and we don't really think of or No, not that he couldn't have had, you know, a significant other. But of course, we just think of him as this, like, old, weird kind of creepy, you know, Bachelor that's just Yeah, collecting people. And I could see him wanting to have a relationship with her because of her connections as well. You know what I mean? Like, she's gonna know things and he wants to know things like, yeah, I definitely could see some sort of overlap of them having some manner of relationship. And do we know how old she is technically, like, when she went to school? No, I don't think I don't in the movies. They show her at the trial for Bharti. So like that would have been back, you know, either marauders Gen, or closer to Lucius or closer to Narcissa. Or, I mean, she could have been around, you know, around that time, or she was older, like, maybe she was in her 30s around that. And then, however many 10 or so years later, is still like her self. It's no one's to say that, obviously, an older woman couldn't be as confident and perceived as beautiful and sexual and you know, things like that. So it's, you know, she could be however old,

okay. She was born between January and November 1951.

Okay, so she's, like, almost 10 years older than the Marauders, because they're like this, like 60. So and then Harry's 80. So then she would have been in the 30s. And then into for, like, 30 to 40 when she was doing the Triwizard stuff. So

yeah, I think she was I think she was 43 Whenever she was doing triwizard stuff. So yeah,

I mean, yeah, she would have been involved in it for however many years that shows like, seasoned, like how she was able to be as big and well known as she had become obviously she wouldn't be some green reporter like she had been doing it along a long time. But yeah, I still think that she went into journalism, intending to do good and be serious with journalism and finding that it got her nowhere. And that eventually she did something a little bit different or realize that if she was going to be successful in this, it would be gossip and just kind of had a swap of mindset of like, okay, well, I guess if I want people to listen to me, I'm going to talk about you know, whatever. And yeah, she

wrote a biography of Armando Dippet early on, called our mando dip master or moron.

Oh, so she must have a thing as far as like headmaster's go like it's yeah, interesting commentary on like these I wonder I wonder what other like biography style things that she is just writing and putting out there like, I don't know, I think she she's got to be smart enough to know, what do people want to read? What do people want to read? And if I make it, how well is it going to do? And she's attuned to it. So

yeah, maybe she just has a very good read on the cultural pulse. Yeah, she knows what people want to. I mean, I think she even refers to them as her rabid readers. At one point, Robert isn't particularly, you know, a particularly pleasant description, it, you know, that that level of sort of feral veracity is implies a certain thirst, yeah, for the material, that that wouldn't be there otherwise, and it shows that she has an awareness of her audience and an awareness of what will make money now the question is, whether or not you believe she started off that way. Or, and it's, or if it's something that she's, like, grown into, over time,

I could see either way, I could see her from the beginning, just having those sort of like Tom Riddle, had the innate, just knowing how to manipulate people and was already from the beginning, using her in like skills to her advantage to some fashion, or is she becoming who she had to be to survive in the profession that she wanted to? And I don't know. And it also potentially makes it a very lonely existence to because it's like, everything was superficial, like, maybe she does say, like, well, I can't have a real relationship because I need to be, you know, maybe on one hand, like, that's a good part of her is that she's like, I couldn't respect a partner enough to like, be with someone when I have to go about getting information in some sort of ways. So maybe that's just the life she enjoys in the moment not to say that, you know, 10 years later, she would realize, you know, I'm, I'm over this, or I want something different, or wizards live a long time. So I mean, opportunities there for her to change and, but even so, like she doesn't, Hermione tries to like, I mean, she's still like a 15 year old girl, but is trying to get her to see like, you shouldn't do this. And don't you dare write any stories, or I tell people and then she was kind of, I don't know, weird about doing the hairy thing, I think in the Quibbler. Like, I think she definitely felt like she was too good for the Quibbler. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. And of

course she did. She felt she had some sort of prestige, or reputation to defend. Yeah, but we see the real world cost of her attitude. Whenever Hermione gets all that hate mail, and the like, and she's opening it and she gets these like, huge boils on her.

15 year old, you know what I mean? It's just like, that's yeah. Oh, yucky. That's just so terrible. It's just a it's an example of showing that it's not shame on Harry for And shame on or shame on Harry, or shame on crumb for supposedly, like, going for the same woman. It's like, oh, now she's the the one who's putting herself out there to be versus the guys get away with so much in comparison to her getting all of these? Yeah, they're like Harry Potter deserves better, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's just Oh, man. It's so so

it's a commentary on tabloid journalism as well. And that, you know, it suggests that there is a body of people who are just ready to hate what you know, they'll believe the first thing they read, and they will just, they're willing to just lash out at that point, and believe that Hermione has done this and would behave in like an attach a value judgment to that. And we see it even with otherwise lovely people, like Mrs. Weasley, who has read the article and believes it. And as a result, Hermione gets like a smaller easter egg.

Yeah, and of course, Harry has to be like, you realize Hermione is not my girlfriend, and she's like, Oh, yes, of course not. Like yeah, that's just it's it's it sucks because in that instance, it shows that she has more emotional feeling toward Harry than she does toward Hermione, even though she also friends with her son, like they're, they're a trio like the fact that she would worry about Harry first is really, really like it and that makes me really sad that she would go there like I feel like Molly would be one of the most understanding and supportive ones for her to behave that way. Is is really sad?

Yeah. And it goes to show that well intentioned people, because of the actions of people like Rita Skeeter can fall into that trap as well. Like, it's I'm sure Molly didn't mean to consciously, right, exclude Hermione we know what sort of a person she is. But I just think that it's such a good commentary on that kind of nasty reporting that it can sort of subconsciously seep into people's minds and they internalize it, whether or not they then act on it, I suppose is up to them, right. But, but what you know, we can we can sit here and debate about, you know, whether retail was like this from the beginning, or whether it's something that she learned to do over time. But ultimately, her actions are having a damaging effect on the lives of the people that she chooses to smear. And at, think about if she turned those skills to interrogating Death Eaters, how much she would get done, like how useful that skill set could actually be, but where she chooses to put her attention, so so much about her. And that brings me back to that Dumbledore quote, you know, once again, it's not our abilities that determine who we are. It's our choices. And she, you know, when she would rather stay in the sort of the gossip column, then use her really formidable skill set rice to benefit the wizarding world at large. Maybe one day she will,

I don't know. Hopefully, she will. And yeah, Wednesday she sees that, yeah, especially. Well, I feel like the Curiosity could be there, but she would never go to like, say ask van because of the Dementors and stuff, like who wants to be there, the freakin Dementors are everywhere. But after four and Kingsley takes over and like, I mean, the Dementors are removed from as cabana essentially. And so I think like before, we've talked about potentially Hermione becoming a, you know, therapist for helping with, you know, whatever, people, what's the word? Oh, what's the word though?

Rehabilitation,

rehabilitation. There we go. And perhaps and that's the opportunity for another maybe biography or things like that, like getting into the minds of Death Eaters? Or, you know, like, do I yeah, like, going and interviewing different people and trying to understand why their choices were the way they are because it's like anything in history. We learn from history and what we know so it doesn't repeat itself often does. But still, it's like if you don't document it, it's like you're not gonna you know, so I feel like someone would she's an opportunist like if she if there's something that needs to be done and she would get like positive you know, rep for like oh, that's my name on it like I feel like that's the biggest thing is like my name is on this thing. Like I'm going to have a legacy that will last however long you know for whatever ridiculous reasons so that would be really interesting if she was yeah took her time to interview that because the I guess the technically with Baltimore gone gone like gone gone like yes that there's death theater still around but the threat for something darker to come again is isn't there not that it couldn't you know happen again and we will see Grendel bald, and then you know, Voldemort, it's like obviously cycles of different similar ideologies of magic is might you know, sort of thing and yeah, I don't know. I feel like she would also want to like understand the twist it you know, like the like, I feel like she would be keen

to get it get a handle on that sort of dark. Yeah, psychology. And there's there's a phenomenon known as the dark triad of personality, which sort of houses narcissism, sociopathy and psychopathy. I definitely think she could do some sort of a wizarding treatise on that in with Death Eaters. But I also think you had it right when you said that she was opportunistic. I mean, she really is we've said that she had her finger on the cultural pulse. And I think it's important it's important to note that while the public mood is really in the mood for gossip, that's what she'll she'll lean to, but postwar, after, you know, everybody's gonna want to take a breather from the events of what have happened. Yeah, the mood will be on getting answers and wanting to really uncover and unpack what happened. You save, so it doesn't happen again. So I think that's how she could pivot into more investigative work. And it can still be equally as sort of penetrative. And that, that her skill set can pivot with public opinion because she is that opportunistic. And she's resourceful enough to do it. So I believe that she could do it, assuming the wizarding world would tolerate somebody like Rita still going, you know, or whether they'd want someone who was newer, or potentially had less of a reputation to come up through the ranks? Who have you thought, oh, okay, okay.

Okay, so hear me out. Let's say Hermione, discovering that she's an anime guests and all that and being the one Yeah, and blackmail and control her whatever. That's their origin story of their eventual romance. Because it's Hermione is the first person to like quote unquote, best you know, Rita, like she's yeah could be seen as like some some sort of rival like going into things and maybe for her mind is the Smarty one who would I could also see wanting to get answers and wanting to invest in the y's and things like that and either she goes to Rita because she begrudgingly maybe that because she has the contacts and has technically worked with her somewhat in the past doing the Quibbler article and things like that. And I mean, who knows? Maybe eventually it's like, okay, like I don't like you You don't like me, but we're gonna do this thing because I you know, I need you to be able to do this and make it happen because I don't have whatever connections are necessary. And then over time, obviously romance beautiful happily ever after. Tada

you've just tied the ship up with a big

break am I in

this wasn't what I thought this was going

I just I just it's it's it's a different sort of enemies to lovers. You know what I mean? Because it's like, she's someone that Hermione genuinely despises. But the same could be said for like, Drarry, or like, anything like that. It's like, you look at the person, you're like, wow, that person is terrible. And makes awful choices that affect other people in a negative way, because they're selfish. And yet we're able to ship them with the good people. Why can't I ship her my?

Like, I mean, you thought something you want to do? Of course you can. Like

sorry, apparently, Nathan is not on board, this

just, it's just gonna take me some time to get my head around that you sprung on me. You're like, oh, I have it. I have the ultimate definitive ship. And then you throw Hermione in there. Okay. It's just it just gonna take me a while to get in the dinghies. But

even like, make a decision to make your way over to, like, hang out in the dinghy for a little bit like you're in the boat. You're just looking up at the ship. Like, I just I just stayed?

Well, so it's good to say that there is quite a big age difference between them. And put, but age differences don't normally dissuade me from shipping. And there are people who ship Harry and Tom, and Harry and Dumbledore. And all of these wicked wacky combinations and ages never have Fuck yeah, yeah, those so it's perfectly it's perfectly absolutely possible. I guess I would when we were doing Hermione Bellatrix. What we said what we said about that was we needed a way for Hermione to know that she wasn't just being played right and that she had the the tools for investment that and I guess what I'm looking for from you is some sort of emotional reassurance that Hermione isn't being taken for a ride by Rita here. I mean, other than literally,

yeah, well, I think the same thing was said with the belma of like the Belo Miney is that with talking to a person like she just has the I would imagine Hermione would have the ability to be able to start reading someone The longer she knew somebody because she's like that with Harry and Ron like she just she just knows the right thing to say or what's actually going on when the boys are just like completely oblivious and she's just like, oh my gosh, you guys seriously. I think what the Rita thing That's how the potentially they can clash but ultimately maybe bloom into something more is that she wouldn't take her shit would hold her accountable would learn her like manipulative tactics and just would figure out when it was genuine and was when it wasn't be that like how she talks to people or like that she's putting on airs about like she's literally putting on a persona versus maybe eventually she sees like the real Rita on accident, you know what I mean? Like her talking to someone else, or, and it's just like, Wait, who is this person that just feels so much different? And so I just, I feel like if we can ship Hermione and Bellatrix we could definitely ship Hermione with Rita because there's just I feel like Hermione could be that ticket to help Rita becoming a better self. You know what I mean? Right? Like, yeah, it's that's just kind of my thoughts. They're like, they professionally get involved. And then it's just, I don't know, sometimes you can stop and they can be like Hermione and Ron wet towel. And, you know, like, it doesn't always have to make sense, but I could just I could see it happening or at least like that's what I would imagine I would read a fanfiction like that like that. I like the idea. I think it's fun.

Yeah, yeah. And obviously think the reason the beetle and omegas form was chosen for Rita, is because when we think of beetles, we associate it well, my mind goes straight to dung beetles. It's the idea that Yeah, her she is cultivating these stories out of the sort of detritus that she's round. And I think one of the really cute ways for Hermione and Rita to bond is over the origin of discovering her animators form and Hermione going well why did you choose that for yourself? You know, out of the wide range of of, you know, animal forms that you possibly could have chosen. Why was this a consideration? And we know that they can be chosen because we know that that the marauders did right

i don't i don't know i don't think so. I've I feel like it's something kind of like your PETRONAS or your it's just part of who you are cuz I just think it'd be interesting like Harry barely knew his dad but as PETRONAS was a was a stag anyway. And that was his yes and omegas form and that was before he really knew

but we've established as well that you're PETRONAS form can chain right? Because Tunxis changes, but you're on omegas form doesn't change. Right. So well the low or the short of it is I don't know whether or not they're learned and according

to the wizarding worlds like official, whatever, yeah, blah blah, is you cannot choose your animal and omegas it's based off of your personality and it's an animal rebellious James Potter is famously a stag and ger conniving journalist Rita is a beetle. Like it's just a reflection of probably who you are in the moment of becoming an Animagus I guess you could say whereas like, PETRONAS is very emotional, it's happy, happy memory driven. So if something brings you joy that's different than what you see, I can see how Patronuses would change but not to me, yes. Like an innate, like, This is who I am, as an individual and what inspires you know, to I am,

so that then is a really good way in for Hermione to be like, what is it about you that thought Beatle you know, what, like, and because it's such a small, delicate, sort of a form as well, you know, and maybe there's some side of her that is vulnerable and delicate, that isn't shown to the world. And that's what Hermione nurtures in that moment.

And what if it just it happens to be something that she's able to take advantage of later, like maybe she became, had whatever her own reasons to become an animator guess and became a Beatle, and then eventually whether she got into journalism or whatever was like, I can use this like, I thought it was really weird and stupid that I turn into a beetle. It was very uninteresting. Like why a beetle and then all of a sudden it's like, oh, I'm small I can fly around I can you know, kind of hide in plain sight. So it's very possible that but yeah, as far as like, what is a beetle personality mean for but like you said, like dung beetle, like you're willing to like, dig in the dirt and find, like, go through the sort through the filth to bring anything too late. That's not necessarily pretty because you want it to be like shocking. You want to get that gossip and everything like that. So yeah, yeah. So then okay, so then I I mean, I settled on a Rita Hermione, who would you think that you would be like, Okay, this would be a readership that I would be behind.

Well, I would read Rita slash Gilderoy, and they would read Rita slash Umbridge. And they would even read Rita slash Ludo.

Yes. Okay. He would be so easy for her to manipulate, let's be real. He's so like, full of himself, but like post Quidditch career like, he still is like, really? He has, like, he's still kind of full of himself. And he's very confident and whatever. But I I feel like he would just feed off of that from her. So I and obviously, it's shown that he's been easily manipulated, and he's someone technically in power. There's definitely a lot of potential there like Ludo. Mm hmm. And maybe he's like, helping her. Like he's the one who helped her get in, like initially to take photos and interview and whatever. And then of course, when she was banned by Dumbledore, maybe he knows her form and maybe you know, and like helped get bring her in. You know what I mean? Yeah, cuz you would think that like, with protective wards and charms and things like that, but like, the ability to enter the Hogwarts grounds would have to be like, invited or like, you know what I mean? Like, yes, be able to walk in. And because otherwise, the Death Eaters would have why else would Draco do the cabinet for them to get into the school, but outside magic that they could take advantage of. So I feel like she might have some sort of partner in crime that it's like, she's like, in his pocket, you know what I mean? Like, just like, it's just like, yeah, and and so he's just, like, trolled a lot. A lot. You know what I mean? Like I? So that's just, yeah, it's that's really interesting. Like, I don't know if it also goes into like, why and how people don't sense that it's like an animal, I guess. Like there's magic behind an animal in that way. Like, it's just seen as an animal, like you think of like, I don't know, serious just being a black dog running around. And so then when and who knows? If Dumbledore knew that the marauders were prancing around the grounds at night, as you know, animals, I would would be able to be traced, like obviously, she's able to be unregistered. Like the only way for them to know is to register yourself. So there's obviously a freedom. And it's kind of sketchiness to be able to change your form to be something untraceable. So it obviously must change something about you completely that I mean, I'd imagine that if Dumbledore is like hey, no, Rita apparently her genetic makeup is now beetle so it doesn't affect her being blocked out. I don't know. much about this, but

I definitely think that Dumbledore is scatterbrained enough that he would absolutely overlook the early like once somebody has transformed into another makers, they don't count anymore. You know, it's it's one giant free for all up at the castle where teachers aren't vetted. Pupils aren't like the classrooms aren't monitored. So like any, anybody can teach anything, and it's not regulated, like, look at Moody. So. So I think this is probably the least of Hogwarts problems, but you're right does produce and provoke some interesting thoughts about consent and privacy and boundaries. And just you know, the the idea of personal space in jail. Yeah, like I would like there's just a certain level of closeness that I wouldn't want with a stranger. Yeah, I don't want a stranger to be all over my head. Like, like, and so I think this is why I have so much trouble shipping retail With liberty because in the books, she is presented as nothing but this incredibly sneaky person that will just manipulate to get whatever she wants. And it's not that like because I know that people are going to be screaming down their phones or whatever they're listening on to be like, But Nathan, you ship tomorrow.

I was like, Are we back on the because she's a woman train because we talked about that first episode that it's like people like, hold like even like Rita or umbrage to a level of like, nasty hate and a lot of it can be like directly stem to like, Oh, it's a woman who's behaving with those traits versus a man who like we think of the male villain who is it's almost like natural and expected to see those traits in like a male Yeah, actor. So I think that is the part of it. Like, we just can't get past even now the Society of like the kind female, like maternal somebody and that when you're ambitious or anything like that, regardless of the reasoning you see them as as a stronger evil because of it like I don't know.

Yeah. It's interesting because if you'd put Snape in that position, would you hate them as much and if you, but I, but I don't know, I still have a lot of problems with the way the Dursleys treat her. I mean a lot of that is Vernon and Dudley and Dudley I can forgive more easily because that's learned behavior. But with Vernon again, that's just somebody being horrible for no real reason other than favoritism. Although I did read an interesting, fun theory about the disease, that the reason they hurry with so much contempt all those years is because people it's proven that people go that their mood is affected when they're around a Horcrux. Oh,

yes, yes, yes, yes. Mm hmm. I remember reading that too. But of course went into like, Well, then why didn't like Hermione and Ron get, you know, get those Yeah, healings and stuff like that until like, obviously, it shows itself when they were the lock it, you know, but But it's like he's been in close proximity to a lot of other people too, that you don't see that shift. But I do believe that is a possibility. Like his I could see that. But I can't see it throughout the series to like, really be convinced by it. But I believe it like I read it. I'm like, Okay, that would make sense. But I feel like that would also taint Harry's personality, too. Like, I feel like it would make him a different person that he became. So yes, very interesting. Yes, I found that too. And I definitely thought that was a really cool point of

view. But what you're saying about Rita, I think part of it comes not just because she's a woman, but also because she's kind of a background character. Like, I think the reason we're so keen to redeem somebody like Snape is because he is this integral part of the books, such a huge part of the story. And so we want to go into snake's head. Oh, to know what it was like when he was 17 years old. And I haven't really read that much about Rita. because there just isn't that level of inquiry and, you know, investigative tenacity with the character. And part of that might be because she's a woman, you make a good point, but also because she's a sort of a woman in the background, which in and of itself, is an issue, because there aren't really that many female characters in front of these canonical stories. I mean, I know fanfiction, tries to address that and does some really cool things. But just in terms of what's there in canon, we don't we're not given the opportunity to be very curious about the whole person that Rita is because all she is therefore is a plot device to drive home this point of like, look at this sneaky journalist just being out for herself. And you know, and showing us the dark side of ambition. So if my I suppose by extension, what you're implying is if we were to look at Rita from say, the point of view of a young Rita when she's 17 years old, who you know, who could we ship Rita with them, then it becomes interesting, because what if she got together with somebody like, say, Lucia smell? And their breakup drove her to journalism and him to the Death Eaters?

Mm hmm. Okay, she's a pure blood which I could see her being she's noted as appear blood. So she could definitely be in those circles and have similar, you know, ideologies, which could also influence her reason for going for Hermione and going for Hagrid is because she has those prejudices, just like, ya know what I mean? So, yeah, no, absolutely. I mean, that could she could have had some sort of match or even they were like the throat or something happened and then maybe he fell in love with Narcissa you know what I mean? And she became the The jilted you know, woman. So then maybe she did something super shitty. Yeah. Who knows?

I'd love to read those letters one way or another, that would be so interesting. And again, it's just another side to the story that we never see. Because the well first of all, there just isn't enough room in the books even if there were room to see things like that. You know, we have to ultimately See the narrative from the perspective of some characters over others, but it's just a shame. It is a shame that we don't see more women in the text more women up front in the text and, and the women we do see some of them have really problematic portrayals like, like Umbridge like Rita, but then also like Aunt Petunia, like Aunt Marge, and, you know, Marge, the zeven, sort of, like transphobia coded in and because there's so much I think there's even focus in the text on and Marjorie's mustache. Yeah, so had the hell this, this sort of coding of being like being born a woman but having a masculine energy is really bad.

Yeah, it goes into like, same like how JK describes characters, you're just like, Okay, so the bad ones are obviously ugly, you know what I mean? Like, she's just describing them in a really unattractive light. And it's just, it's just like, okay, like, okay, like, it's enough of that, like, it's just yeah, Umbridge as being told like, and like high pitched voice and just obviously no one that anyone would like read as the first but I feel like she's she's definitely like the stereotype of like, the person trying to manipulate to get the story like you could see a female character like her in the position that she has, like, it fits but it's definitely stereotypical. Like if he stopped and like really consider her character versus just being an average like Mrs. Weasley, who's going around to getting you know, stories or whatever so, but yeah, we're making it better with fanfiction

as we do with so many things, like tomorrow fanfiction, yeah,

I know exactly. Oh, man. I didn't know I would. But I've recently been pulled into Harry more, which I was like, really concerned by. But I'm there. I just been such a journey, this whole podcast and just like exploring new ships and rare pairs and things and I'm just like, every time there's like, that turns into a hell yes. And it's never ending I'm never gonna be able to read enough of everything just being it's really exhausting being a shipper. For sure, so.

So listeners if you have any fic recommendations for me, that involve Rita being a sort of a well rounded human, or that will, that are well written and will make me think about Rita in a new light. If you want to send those to me. Care of Magical shippers, podcast male.com. I will be forever in your debt. Thank you so much in advance.

All right. Well, that was I mean, hey, like, anyways, we don't know how we talked about something and we pulled this out of our, to wherever I really like hours ago. Look at us go.

We've talked for how long? An hour and 20 minutes.

That's pretty dang good. And yeah, and like always, we we have no idea what we're doing next. Because obviously we make decisions five hours before required.

To be to be fair to you, and to give you the credit you deserve. We had another thing that didn't work out. You know, you did you did plus. And we did put some serious thought into this. But then for one reason or another, it just didn't work. So instead of giving you nothing for two weeks, we decided that we were still going to give you an episode, but that it was just going to be more like us flying by the seat of our pants or like Ali Bashir being assisted by a flying

Perfect, yes. Mm hmm.

So till next time friends. Who knows what it's gonna be? Yeah, but it'll come back for it. Thanks so much for listening. We love you lots. Speak to you soon. Bye.

So now that you've finished enjoying that episode, a bet you're wondering what we're going to be talking about next time. Will it be a ship? Could it be a Trump? What about our character centric episode, editing mags, put the listeners out of their misery. Next time we'll be focusing on

Fred and Angelina versus George and Angelina.

So come back to enjoy that your earliest possible convenience, but you know, preferably sooner rather than later because we do make it so you listen to it, and we enjoy it. Remember your Gunkel Nathan's advice. Be kind to each other manager Mischeif and we'll catch you in the next one soon.

While you're waiting for the next episode, all the shipping fund can continue online. You can head over to all of our social Media Platforms like magical ship pod on Twitter and Instagram and Care of Magical shippers on Tumblr. You can get in touch with us by email at Care of Magical shippers, podcast g mail.com. Or you can leave us a voice message with all of your ship and fic thoughts and feels and have the chance to be featured on a future pod episode. We are also live on Patreon patrons have access to early episodes, bonus content, extended uncut episodes with all of our nonsense, exclusive merch and a patron discord. Another easy way to show your love for the pod is by leaving a review on Apple podcasts. And thank you so much for listening