One was something that I learned while I was in college, from a book called teacher effectiveness training. When I read it in the book, and we talked about it in class, I said, this is the dumbest piece of advice anybody's ever put down on paper. And it was around reflective listening. And the idea was that instead of trying to step in, and problem solve, instead of trying to reframe instead of trying to provide context or or dig deeper, all you do is tell the person what you heard them say, and that night, a friend of mine was over at my apartment for dinner. And she was talking about a problem that she was having with a roommate. And I was like, just for kicks, I'm going to give this a shot. And she's, you know, salting the chicken or whatever it was, and she's like, and then my roommate never puts her dishes away, and it bugs the hell out of me. So it sounds like you're really bothered when she doesn't put away your dishes. Should Yeah, and it's not just that, it's also that she doesn't appreciate it. When I do clean up. I said no. So it sounds like you know, part of the problem here is that you're not feeling appreciated. She's gonna think I'm the dumbest guy that she's ever known, right? Like, all I'm doing is, is repeating what she's saying. And I was like, well, this, this certainly feels dumb. And I guess at some point, I got to call myself out on and point out that I'm just doing this stupid thing from the stupid book. And that's, and then she turned to me and said, Todd, this is the most beneficial conversation I've had about my relationship with my roommate ever. I feel like I'm coming away with this understanding myself better and her but and, and her experience was totally different from mine. She felt heard, she felt seen. And she felt like she now had the power to make a better decision about her relationship going forward. And I thought, Okay, well, maybe this guy's not so stupid. Maybe this book isn't so stupid. And maybe these methods work in places that I wouldn't have thought they would work. And it's not always the solution. But it's a much better solution than then I would, would have thought it would be. And it's something that I find myself doing with my kids all the time, and it no longer feels forced to me It no longer feels fake. To me, it's very clear that what I'm doing is allowing the space for for them to finish their own thought. That's one of the things that I do with my kids that I think has been been really beneficial. Another one that's sort of related That was pointed out to me yesterday, by by my 16 year olds friend who was who was over in the house, her friend had said something that was happening with, with with her parents, her parents were away. And she was talking about an argument that she had with her parents and something that her father said to her. And my daughter said, Well, how do you feel about that? And, and her friends said, that is the most Simkin thing that I could hear you say at that point? Instead of asking what I want to do next, that you start with, how do I feel about it, which is, you know, and, and it's something that that she is that the friend and my daughter have heard from me and Shelly, my wife, over and over again, because again, it's really hard for us to jump in and start providing advice, if we don't even know where the child is coming from, you know, if we start saying what sounds like that, you know, that other kid was being a jerk? And like, no, that's not what I was saying at all. How do you not get me? How do you not understand what this is just starting with? How do you feel about that, which, again, feels like the Freudian psychologist sitting back, you know, while you're lying on the couch, just, you know, mumbling something. So you'll keep talking turns out to be pretty beneficial turns out to be really helpful,