Es lo que Hay

John Pulleyn59min

Unknown00:00

This is November 10, 2024, or is it the 11th? Yes, the 10th. So Dhara Sensei and I were, we just got back two nights ago from a trip to Mexico.

Speaker 100:18

She was invited to lead a seshin there, because since Harada died, there haven't been a hasn't been a teacher there to help them keep their Sangha together. So, so yeah, it was in seshin until Thursday, and then we flew back Friday, got back around midnight, and so yeah, I was keeping my phone off and not checking anything really. But did I miss anything? Sorry, couldn't help myself. I actually did have my phone on, because I was a second monitor and needed to just keep an eye on if anybody's family had an emergency. And so I was the emergency contact. So I was checking occasionally. And so then, of course, on whatever it was Wednesday, and I see some messages there that with the preview on it, which I try to avoid looking at, but some our family chat group, and saw some of them celebrating. And so first I was like, oh gosh, I just wanted to be in seshin and not have to,

Speaker 101:54

not have to, you know, concern myself with that. But that's really not, that's not really the spirit of Zen to totally withdraws ourselves from from the world. So, yeah, it was kind of like, it's actually really, I'm really happy that I was in seshin for that and was able to process it after whatever, five days of sitting the sesshin went from Thursday to Thursday, and to be able to process that with a relatively open mind, the email that went out, and then I think, as kanji just announced, you know, said, I'll be addressing the election. It's a little bit misleading. I don't, I don't plan on addressing the election or that sort of thing, per se, but kind of the, I guess, just how we're feeling, putting it into, trying to put it into a bit of a Zen perspective, as best I can, I'll probably be asking more questions than trying to provide any answers or solutions.

Speaker 103:09

We, as Kaji mentioned, we can share a bit more later. If we after the brunch, we can go up to the library there and but in a moment, I'll maybe open the floor for people, three or four people, if they want to chime in and in five words or less, just kind of share how you're feeling, what, what, what emotions have been coming up the past, past few days. But yeah, as I said, we'll, we'll have a bit more of a conversation. Later up in the library, and I'll try my best to get the TV going for zoom participants to join in. I haven't had the chance to look at it yet and see if I can set it up. But if there's any staff member here who is adept at it and is willing to help me out after after this talk, then I would appreciate it so that those those of you who don't want to listen to listen to me just jabbering non Stop,

Unknown04:19

you can sit here quietly in the Zen do, but think about how I feel I have to live myself and

Speaker 104:28

have those thoughts all the time. We would have been out in the Sangha space, Sangha room, meeting room up back there, but board meeting is going out there and, and really they're doing the they're doing true Bodhisattva work, taking time away from their family, flying across the country to deal with the difficult decisions and and pro and think. And argue and decide, how is the center going to stay relevant in this continuously, rapidly changing world? But hopefully I can offer perspective, and I don't know, ground us a bit with all the excessive mental energy that I kind of picture, as, you know, electrical wire, if it's not grounded properly, it can be pretty destructive if it has nowhere to go. So, so Yeah, but how about now, if anybody wants to chime in and just whenever, offer some emotions, a couple thoughts.

Speaker 205:49

Well, I'm not really surprised by the results. The propaganda machine worked really well, so I can include myself in this. Some of us are just out of touch with reality. Something, sitting is very important to sitting.

Speaker 106:16

Anybody else, yeah. I mean, I can. I can relate, yeah, not really, really, not surprised. I didn't let myself get my hopes up, because kind of seen it before. And as you said, the you know, the state of our country and how we receive information changing so rapidly, and it's easy for us to be in our own little bubbles. And, yeah, but Yeah, nobody else has anything, then they'll continue on.

Speaker 306:48

Since the election, I've just been like avoiding news as much as possible. I don't know if it's a good idea or not. You know, the more I tend, the more I listen to the news, the more upset I get, you know, so no, I

Speaker 107:09

just wondering if that's a good idea to do. Yeah, that's a, that's great, great point. And actually, I think I'll address it a little bit later in this talk. Say that I'm

Speaker 307:19

doing the same. And I've talked to several other people who say the same. Just sort of tired of this program.

Speaker 407:28

I feel afraid, anxious,

Unknown07:42

and I feel that in the short term, and I anticipate, like in the long term, how do I how do I go forward, at least in the next four years,

Speaker 408:01

but the short term is still certainly acute. I don't, I don't I feel an urgency or a need to do something. I don't know what that and I need to know what that is something will emerge that feels appropriate. So I guess I feel like a need for action,

Speaker 308:30

and waiting for that to be come to be skillful, yeah, yeah, it doesn't. I don't have a picture of that now at all. I don't feel I was one of the people who went to Canada's immigration site and looked in detail. How

Unknown08:49

could I get to Canada?

Unknown08:53

Yeah, I feel

Unknown08:57

most aware that some people have felt

Speaker 509:01

this way about living in the United States for a while, and is that visceral? It's like both a visceral, real fear and also a vague fear, is how I describe it.

Speaker 109:21

You couple of hands up on Zoom. I don't know if there's any way for those people, too. Sure maybe if, well, how about if people who do want to chime in, just in the interest of time, let's see. I'm gonna say later, yeah, come to the come to the talk afterwards. That's kind of the intention here. Just, I just want to get a, get a bit of a sense and see where people are at. I think, I think there's, yeah, there's a lot of emotions and different thoughts and but hopefully I can, hopefully I can talk will be available. To zoom people too. Yes, that's my that's my intention. As I mentioned, I'm going to try to get the TV set up there, and if not, I have my iPad so it'll just be a small screen for us in the library. But shouldn't be an issue for others to join in and listen and and give their give their thoughts. I would

Speaker 610:20

like to just say though the election, of course, didn't go the way I wanted it to, but I'd like to say that I feel hopeful and wish to stay open. And maybe it has to do with my age, having seen it so much come and go, so many times so. And I just wish to work to be with whatever happens and do my best.

Speaker 110:50

Yeah, so I'll be touching upon some topics that may be sensitive for some folks, but not in any graphic way or, you know, but you know, unless you've been hiding under a rock and not keeping an eye on the major issues of the world, whether it's climate, wars, elections, yada yada, I think, based on what we've witnessed in the past couple years till election, I'm confident that what I say isn't going to be isn't going to be too offensive or harmful for anybody. But yeah, there's going to be some, some difficulty, I guess. But you know, my feeling is, there's no time, this isn't time to sugar coat things. And anybody who knows me knows that. You know, I can be pretty stubborn and blunt and maybe not as skillful as some would like in my speech. But it was long ago I kind of told myself that I'd rather, rather die being remembered as a blunt and honest person instead of being nice all the time, just, you know, putting on a smile and oh yeah, God, that's great. Can that change? Will it change some, some Roshi may say it's because I'm a Leo.

Speaker 112:15

Besides that, you know, anyone can, can be nice. We all, or I would say all, but many of us grew up in an environment where we are conditioned to smile, and, you know, don't, don't see anything bad. And you know, don't, don't, be honest. If it's you can't see anything nice, don't say it at all. But you know, remember growing up in front of the TV Gen X TV was, you know, my my babysitter and access to the outside world. I remember, you know, those, I think they're probably still out there with those crime shows and stuff, or they show serial killers, and they were always described as being so nice. I couldn't imagine, you know, gotta imagine this person doing this. They were always so polite and nice.

Speaker 113:10

This Zen practice is a, you know, it's, it's based around a our natural fear of death and suffering, and as we are taught and as we maybe know firsthand that this is caused by what we call the three poisons, the greed, anger and delusion,

Speaker 113:36

we have to kind of look inward and do some really difficult work to see how greed, anger and delusion really affects our our life and our interactions with with people, the loved ones. There's a you know, misconception that we Zen Buddhists, we need to be worried about withdrawing from the world and just getting blissed out and all Zen doubt and, you know, just walking around a big smile and levitating everywhere we go. And you know, as anybody who's really been at this a while knows that, you know, it's hardly the case. And want to throw in here something that probably many of us have heard before, and if you haven't, it was really, it's something I find myself going back to often when I'm in a confused emotional state and, you know, trying to figure things out. But it's the Taoist parable about the Chinese horse farmer is, I guess, popularized by Alan Watts, and goes like this. And you know, even if you've heard it, hear it again and let it, let it sink in. Once upon a time, there was a farmer whose horse ran away that evening. All of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said. Oh, we're so sorry to hear your horses run away. This is so unfortunate. And the farmer said, maybe the next day, the horse came back, bringing seven wild horses with it. And in the evening, everybody came said, Oh my gosh, you're so lucky, so fortunate. What a great turn of events. You have eight horses now, the farmer, again, said, maybe the following day, his son tried to break tame one of the horses, and while riding, it was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, Oh, dear, that's too bad your son, he's, you know, he can't help out on the farm. What is it? What are you going to do? So unfortunate, and the farmer again, maybe next day, the constrips conscription officers came around to draft people into the Army because they're they were going to war, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg again, all the neighbors came around. Oh, you're so fortunate. Your son is not going to go off to war, not going to die, of course, maybe. And as Alan Watts found out what he said after this quote, the whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it's really impossible to tell whether anything that happens is good or bad, because you never know what will the consequence the consequences will be of the misfortune or the what the consequences will be of what we consider good fortune. Of course, there's this duality and Zen, good bad, we want to we want to know what's good or bad. What do I what do I want? How do I want things to be with the recent hurricane season and destruction caused by that kind of image in this past, seshin came up as it was processing this and kind of zooming out from above and seeing that satellite view of a hurricane as it's coming towards land. And I think it kind of, you know, we can kind of see it as the state of the world political divisions that we see today. And if you look at that, that vision of the hurricane from above, there's the clouds swirling around, and then there's that eye of the storm. And as probably many of you know, in that eye, it's perfectly still. People who have experienced it say it's pretty eerie because there's storm sweeping through. You're getting blasted all the everything trees are all blowing from, you know, one direction, from the north, say, I don't know which direction they go. Maybe it's different in different places. I don't know. And then if you're in the path of the eye, there comes this clear, calm, silence, maybe that, maybe not silence, but stillness, rather. And then the other part of the storm comes and blows the wind in the other direction. So a lot of, yeah, a lot of houses are damaged by, you know, okay, maybe the first wave didn't get you because it was going from one direction, but then the other one, and I kind of see it as, you know, we might say, Oh, I prefer the wind coming from the north instead of the South. But really, we're all in this storm together, going, you know, whether it's red, blue, right, left, it's the same storm. And

Speaker 119:02

I guess ideally, if we had our preferences, we could stay in that calm center. You know, it's easy to get swept out again if you don't follow it and move along you. Requires constant attention, as this practice does. Anybody who is sitting here probably knows, but if we can remain in that center of the storm and not get swept up in all the everything that's out of our control, really, all we can control is, you know, our focus and what we what we decide to pay attention to, if we can stay in that center, then, you know, as people make their way to the center as well and maybe find their way to this, this path, of course, it's not the only path for for wisdom, this sort of wisdom and understanding, but. It, whatever it is, these people are coming to the center, and they have to pass through the most powerful and destructive part of the storm, the eye wall. That's that wall right, right next to the calm and quiet, or common, again, still area. So if we can say, stay centered and try to help those people through that, that final chaos and energy, then, you know, maybe, maybe that's what we we can do with this practice. You know, of course, we fear death and suffering and pain and all that, and yeah, that clearly has an evolutionary advantage, right? So people who feared say whatever, poisonous snake, when they see a snake, Oh, I'm getting away from that.

Unknown21:00

But then, you know, there are others who, yeah, don't, don't have that fear. One example that came up recently was so kanji, could I get more water? Please? I'm parched. Thank you. I

Speaker 121:25

So one, yeah, one thing that popped up with that was this past sesshin, is that? So we're getting ready for it, and, you know, concerned about, you know, what are the any insects and snakes and stuff, poisonous things that we need to be concerned. Of the soccer members, oh yeah, yeah, there's, there's scorpions. The the little darker ones are fine. They're not, you know, they it's more just like a wasp bite or something and, but, you know, look out for the the little, kind of translucent blonde ones. Is it calm? Watch out for the blonde ones. And okay, you know. But he's like, Oh, he won't. You don't have any problem. You know, they they don't come around. So right before the sitting began, first night, Dhara comes in, tasking the shoulder and whispers, there's a scorpion on the wall in my room, and she does not like insects whatsoever. And I I'm fascinated by him. I don't know why. Probably evolutionarily, that's not a good thing, but don't know maybe, maybe that's my role, not to be scared of them so I can go and scoop them up, put them outside and be on our way. She then had another Scorpion in her room on day three, numerous spiders, millipede I didn't have anything. I was right next door. We had the same, same little whatever, little cabin thing, and our doors right next door, and big hairy spider right outside her door, just hanging out and kind of just making fun of her. That you know, they just sense your deep compassion, and they're coming for the coming for the Dharma. They really want to get on the path,

Speaker 123:27

I guess again, the idea of zooming out and trying to put things in perspective here,

Speaker 123:37

I have this once I saw this, this graph a few years ago, it just couldn't get out of my head. So this is the size of the world population over the last 12 years. So if we for a visual reference, anybody who's at home or whatever, if you want to look doesn't really matter, but so I'm kind of made up this to give us a sense of scale. What you know how human evolution has grown over the years. So if we have a this, this tan here is about three feet or about a meter wide, and ceiling, I'm going to say, is nine feet tall. So x axis is the tan on the floor at the base of the ton. Y axis is going up. I'll do it on this side, because that might be more visually correct for people looking over this way. So we start 4 million years ago, or rather, we'll say 12,000 years ago. 4 million people are estimated to have lived on this earth for 4.5 so starting at this end, you. Bottom corner, 10,000 years ago, and we, as we move across, that doesn't change very much, not until we get about, oh, two thirds of the way across this and it starts to pick up. We've got the Egyptian empire, 3000 BC to whatever, roughly 30 BC, I guess so there the at this 15 inch mark, the population is about half an inch off the floor. And at that time, early North Americans were coming down from Siberia. There were Mayans down in Mexico. You could Hanh Peninsula. I got the I got a great history on this trip, Mexico trip. I was never a really history buff, but that's because I you know, when you have somebody interested, somebody who's interested in it, and can say it, can tell it, well, then it becomes more alive. So okay, time of shaky, Muni, Buddha, 500 BC, about 150 million people now. So we're about two and a half inches off the floor and just under eight inches from this final end of current time. Jesus came along, a few 100 years later, 100 90 million. So we're just not much more, but just under three inches of floor, not much further from them before, about six inches from the end Bodhidharma, our guy, 400 ad, three inches off the floor, just under five inches from the end Dogan, 1200 This is around the time of leading up to, you know, some Middle Ages, maybe whatever they're called Dark Ages, or, you know, down or, you know, also the time of the Ethiopian empire. Around 1200 and early North Americans are really, you know, chugging along and living the dream. So at this time of Dogan 1200 we're getting just three and a half inches from the very end here, from the edge, and we're at

Unknown27:37

still under five inches off the floor. Early North Americans, Mayans, we know, plague Europe. Europeans come, a lot of bad stuff. Went down five and a half inches off the floor, three inches from the end. We're still way over here. And then

Speaker 128:02

1619, 1619, first slaves from Africa are brought to the US, and we're now about half a million, half a billion people. So it's quite a spike there going from that number. And again. Now we're just two inches from the end here, and eight inches high, not until the American Revolution. Or actually, let's throw in Hakuin. I put in there 1700 600,000,009 inches up, inch and three quarters from the end. And then American Revolution, 1776 800 million. We're at the top of the town, or just just below it, let's say under this, under this ledge here. And about an inch and a half inch, 1.6 inches I put on here because the next one on the top of the ton, we are in 18, 65/13 Amendment. Slavery is abolished. 1 billion people. We hit the first 1 billion, and that's at the top of the time, about an inch and a half, so two finger widths away from the end. And then things get interesting. So 1912 Roshi Kapil was born 1.7 5 billion. Now we're just over two feet off the floor, and we're basically just getting we're splitting hairs as we get in this final inch, half an inch, so I'll just ignore that for time's sake. So yeah, Roshi Kapleau 25 inches off the floor. 1928 is when 2 billion strikes or hit that mark. 28 inches of floor. So we raised another three inches, and 1941 comes along. And. And that's when my dad is born, Errol is born, 2.3 billion 34 inches. So we're getting about three feet. So basically, as you can see now, we're climbing up pretty far. I'm just gonna say, Okay, I was born at in 1975 that's where 4 billion orders. And now we're at 53 inches right here. So in the time of when my dad and Errol, as two examples, were born, we went from 34 inches to 53 inches in just, yeah, less than a quarter of an inch of time. And, Zen Center was founded in 66 so that was down four inches, or four feet rather. And then we celebrated our 30th anniversary. 1986 5 billion. We're up at 7070, feet, almost six feet off the floor, Chip mill retreat center. 1999 another billion, 6 billion, we're at seven feet off the floor. 2011 is when we hit 7 billion, and now we're basically at the ceiling, at 8.2 billion or so, I think so in this short amount of time, think of the great masters. They had it pretty easy. They didn't have to worry about anything, geez, just some whatever, some bandits, that sort of thing. The amount of change they saw was just snail's pace. And just within my lifetime, it's just, you know, it went from from 53 inches up to the ceiling, just so all that change that we're dealing with. Just we all feel it, it's well, it's not until we put into perspective, like, Okay, I'm not crazy. This is, you know, our bodies and brains didn't evolve to adapt this quickly we are. We have so many stressors. So let me get away from that history lesson, and I will now go to so, yeah, how you know, can we expect to make a significant difference? Meaningful difference by getting critical and angry with those around us. You know they're feeling the same anger and fear. You know everybody's fearful. We withdraw when we're fearful, try to keep out the world everything's happening so fast. I just want things to be the way they are. My mom would, yeah, she'll often say, I just want these go back to the good old days. It was so nice back growing up in the 50s. I'm like, Yeah, you were a child. You had no concerns. You look beneath the surface, as we know now, it wasn't so pretty. So we need to learn how to, you know, have respectful conversations, demonstrate and demonstrate to others, to our family members, especially as we come up to this time of the holidays. You know, try to demonstrate to them what it's like to listen as a compassionate person with our whole being. You know, once we create that division of me and you, and that's just that just stops it. Now it's just okay, you're on that side, I'm on this side, done, you know, you can, you can quote to them as many great Sutra verses or teachings from the Masters, something that really had a real impact on you that just, you know, you can tell them, you know, oh yeah, just don't, you know. Don't see the world in such a dualistic way. You know, then everything, but you just fine. That's not going to help. I'm actually, I feel fortunate. I'm well enough, not formally diagnosed, but pretty clear that, you know, I'm dyslexic. Grew up dyslexic at a time where, you know, small town western New York schools didn't really, least, my school didn't have the resources or knowledge of what there was to diagnose it. So I didn't read very much at all. So I'm actually, I feel fortunate that I, you know, I didn't get drawn into the books of Buddhism or Zen and get these ideas in my head before, kind of coming, coming to the path there. You know, I think I'll touch upon, kind of, I've done it before in my coming the path talk, but I'll, I'll mention it again a little bit later. So what we know, the historic teachings, and what we know of the historic teachings and the beliefs of many world great religions, sort of thing that's all been mediated through words writing, whether it's sutras, Bible, koan, and as we know. From if we were just to play that game, gossip or telephone, whatever you want to call it, that little icebreaker game, where we start around the Zen do and just whisper in each other's ear some simple sentence. By the time it comes back, it's going to be so distorted, and that's just within five minutes. Think about millennia. So we have, what I appreciate about this tradition is it's not about the words I don't have to read to become a good Buddhist or a Zen student. You know, we have this more of a scientific empirical evidence, repeatable results, method. You know, as long as we have a solid, genuine teacher to help guide us along, then,

Unknown35:52

you know, I think we're in good shape. The biggest challenge for many of us is is to trust, gain that trust in a teacher or someone that

Speaker 136:08

can tell you like it is the Dharma. This is how it is. Not try to say, Oh yes,

Speaker 136:22

you know, but, but first, I think I know for myself. The hardest thing about before I feel it really felt like I could trust Roshi in the dokan room or whatever, I realized I didn't trust myself. I was, you know, was always looking out. It was looking, at, looking outward, pointing, you know, it's their fault, their fault.

Speaker 136:49

Where I first came across Buddhism and Zen was at RIT. I was in finishing up there in late 90s, and I just wanted to get the hell out of roster, get out of it. I had one semester left, and I needed a philosophy elective to fulfill my degree, and I had no interest in philosophy, just more reading and papers. Just get me out of here. But I wanted to get out of there, so okay, I'm gonna suck it up. The only class that fit my schedule for my other required classes was at 8am and was a class. It was called, I think the great thinker series, philosophy of the Buddha or the Buddhism. Yeah? Jesus, yeah. Go. Listen to about this little, bald, fat guy and religion, no thank you. I was, I was fine, you know, getting high drinking, and that was, that was my religion, that and mountain biking, and that's me, that's, that's who I am, that's what I'll always be. And the one thing that really God, he was the professor. He's died quite a while ago, Jamie Campbell, and actually current Sangha member is succeeded him in the chair of the history or the philosophy department at RIT. So it's interesting getting that input. But anyways, so the one, the one thing I remember that really stood out to me in that was he was talking about this, this dualistic way of seeing the world, and the way he the way he said, is, I don't know. I've never heard this example before. I don't know if it was his own or, you know, maybe it's, maybe it's common in other teachings. Maybe it's in the Sutra, I don't know. Doesn't really matter, because in that moment. Well, anyways, so this, this class was at 8am in the morning. And I hadn't taken a class before 10am the whole time I was I was at our it. So this final one 8am Oh, geez. So get there first day, just this professor, just just just like he just reached in and grabbed me. It's like, come here. And before then, like the professors, they were just, they were others. They were kind of on a screen, in a way. This is my world. I'm just viewing your, you know, whatever I'm I'm here to get my degree, get out of here. And, you know, you just gotta do it, do whatever, do your job. And this guy was the first one that was the most human, most engaging and honest, really. I mean, he shared so much about himself that, yeah, I won't get into but the one teaching that really stuck with me, and I think of it as he said, Yeah, anytime we create an other, we point out the faults of others. This is what you did. This is why I don't like you. This is your problem. He said, what we got to do is stop. And if we are holding our hand out, physically pointing at somebody, stop, turn your hand over, and you've got three fingers pointing back at you. He's like, you know. The teaching of Zen Buddhism is, is to look inwards, look back. What you know, what is what? What barriers Am I creating next I want to throw in the congeama chan we have 15 minutes. Okay, so this is a newspaper article, July 13, 1999 Democrat and Chronicle here in Rochester. Title of it is World War Two. Widow learns the truth the byline after 55 years area, woman hears how Pilate husband died over Normandy and by Dolores Orman. So this, this date, July, 13, 99 is, you know, really significant point in my life, in that so it was just that previous November, I think, or whatever, previous fall quarter at the time for for it, it was that one that I had, that philosophy class, the Buddhism class, and kind of that seed was planted. So I finished up in the spring. And just say, life was not very peachy for me. It wouldn't be another 10 years until I was diagnosed with clinical depression at that time, you know, again, where I grew up, you don't talk about mental health. Nobody knows what it is. It's just okay. You're whatever. You're a sad sack. You suck it up. All that stuff we've heard so yeah, I really, at that time, did not expect to be around for y 2k because at that time, y 2k Oh, my God, the world's gonna end. We're gonna Oh, the computer. I

Speaker 142:03

and then in August of 99 so just after this article came out, was when I came here for my first workshop, first full workshop for for that class, we came here and did, like a little mini field trip, and did a little, I don't know, quick, quick orientation. And it was, it was led by Lawson sector Roshi, now down in married to Roshi Bodhi Roshi, his wife Sonya, down in Asheville. And, yeah, I just at the time, I didn't, you know, the Zen Center. We got, we got the the instructions of where to go, all right, where is it? I look at it and it's two blocks away from where my apartment is. I had no idea it existed. So if you walk out the link and just go two blocks over and Sibley place, you'll run into my house. I had an apartment with with a friend. So I walk over, oh my gosh. Soon as I walked into the lake, I just Well, I never, never felt such a, such a powerful feeling of a, of a, actually feeling that I was in the right place. So back to the story. So Marion horrick finally has answers to a 5055, year old personal tragedy. Until a few weeks ago, she never knew how her husband, US Air Force First Lieutenant Herbert W Stanford of Brockport had died. Now, thanks to a young Frenchman's research, she has seen the site where the American pilot, fighter pilot plane crash in Normandy during World War Two, and she has attended a memorial service there in his honor. Stanford died on July 7 or July 18, 1944, exactly six weeks after the D Day invasion of Europe. He was 23 Horik was 22 they were childhood sweethearts. Been married for 13 months. So he was, he was my age at the time, or my age that I was when this article was out in 99 so early 20s some other day. So this again. Errol, sorry to use you as an example, but you know, I can't help and give away your your your age here. But so Errol would have been about three years old in the UK, and my understanding, I hope it's accurate enough. Errol, please let me know later if it's not so, my understanding is that she was born in the underground tunnels of London during a Nazi air raid. And Philip Kapleau, 32 year old reporter in the US court reporter, if I didn't say. And anybody who knows Lyman, the former caretaker of Chapin mill for for Ralph Chapin, he still comes to to lunches, pretty much. Every week when there's not a seshin. And so he was nine years old. Born in 35 he lived in Latvia on a farm with his mom and dad, and it was right in the front lines between the Battle of the Germans and the Russians. He had stories of how his dad, even though the Nazis would humiliate all the boys and men by bringing them behind the barn and making them drop their drawers to make sure they weren't Jewish. He said his dad preferred the Nazis because the Russians would come and just take all their food and crops and all their their stores and just leave them, leave them without anything. So now in 99 it's 77 horic with a few relatives and in attendance, attended a Catholic mass and a plaque dedication in Stanford's honor on June 27 in the village of robod, France, where his plane went down the village. Village population is only 167 but more than 500 came around, there's a plaque there. Now I'll skip over for an inch of time. And she said, it's nice to know my husband lives on in that area, because they have a war memorial there. The day before the ceremony, cork walked to a corn field where the plane went down and crashed. Some people came out. And there was a woman who who grew up and remembers seeing it, and

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her family had a farm where, where the plane went down. So she told horic, Marion Horik that the plane had been hit and was being chased by four German planes. She believed the pilot could have parachuted to safety, but stayed with the plane to keep it from crashing into the farmhouse. When he did jump, it was too late, and he was found dead in hung up in a tree. The Germans took all of his identification and left his body at the entrance to the cemetery. Villagers buried him. They would sneak out at night to put flowers on the grave and skipping ahead. So originally, she was told that he was missing in action, then that he was presumed dead in 1946 she authorized the reburial of his body in France, but the US government never told her how he died. Maybe they didn't know, or they whatever doesn't really matter. So the young widow went on with her life, and four years after her husband's death, she married Frank horrick. They have four children and six grandchildren, and I am one of those grandchildren I remember, you know, growing up and being a grandma's house and seeing this photo of this guy in a pilot's outfit. And you know, who is this guy? And I think my mom explained to me, I didn't, didn't know, but so this young history buff in France, Stephen David tavid, heard about the plane crash as a child in 1995 he started trying to identify the pilot. Didn't, you know. And his quote is, of course, I have not know this painful period, but as a young French boy, the memory is very important to me. David then, 23 same age that I was on road to horc on December 12, your husband was my age when he died. I don't forget it. So in recent years, I think we hear, you know, from from political spectrum the extremes. We have people on both sides, you know, oh my gosh, if my candidate doesn't win, then we're gonna turn into Nazi Germany. This is gonna be horrible, but I'm going to pretty confidently say it, no, it's not gonna turn into Nazi Germany, because Nazi Germany was Nazi Germany. This is the US right now, 2024 and as we go back and forth and say, Oh, was this, you know, gosh, Nazi Germany's history and their rise of power and all that, that was, gosh. That was just horrible, one of the most horrible things of human existence. And, yeah, most definitely. But if we look at it in different perspective without Hitler, the I, as I am here now on this path, might not be here. Errol, as we know her, might not be here, and Philip Kapleau wouldn't have gone to the Nuremberg trials as a court reporter and the Kyoto trials and wandered into a Japanese temple where he was on his path to this practice. So, yeah. We all might not be here right now, but of course, we can't, we can't say this might not happen, because that's the Dharma. Things are as they are right now, right here, and it's how we choose to focus our attention and and what, what matters to us, trusting our our gut, we have to, we have to go in and not be afraid to do that, that dirty work, and have a little bit of an ego bruising here and there, and get rid of some figure out why, you know, why do I have these ideas that I, that I do. I, you know, I've had in my whole life about these people or those people, the others in, I mean, even within our Zen Sangha here or a far was reminded of conversation I had with one of the Mexican Sangha after sesshin. And, you know, we're just talking about whatever, where we travel, and that sort of thing. And I, you know, say, Okay, we went to China in 2010 and they said, Oh, I heard, I heard the Chinese people are really dirty. Is that true? You know, part of me thinks that if that comment would have come up here, there would have been, I don't know, bit of a bit of an argument that's, you know, there's nothing like traveling. I just, oh my gosh. I, you know, we used to travel quite a bit as much as we could, before the before, times before the pandemic, and then we didn't get a chance to dhara's Dad health and all that. So oh my gosh. It was just, it just really was lovely. Just everybody in Mexico was just lovely. Everybody that we met came across just great, great experience. So yeah, we have to be, you know, we have to be willing to get out of our comfort zone at first, you know, going down, I have limited, limited Spanish. And of course, when I'm trying to talk with whatever, somebody in public asking them for directions of this or that, you know, kind of self conscious. Oh, am I gonna say it? Right? Am I gonna and then, you know, finally, like, all right, just gotta break down, try it, stumble, trip ourselves up using Google Translate on our phone whenever we can, and just the crazy things that it comes up with. And, you know, all of a sudden we have this, this great conversation. We're just laughing because it's just absurd. What what Google is saying, and we mine things and, you know, and then we say gracias Adios, and then go on to the next, next, next thing. So, yeah. I mean, we hear a lot. I've been guilty of it myself thinking it over the past several years when, especially when you know my brain is not working the way I wish you know it's like, oh my gosh. These are just not normal times. This is not normal. Why? Why? Why? Why am I here right now? Oh, my God, climate, hatred, war, violence, it's perfectly normal. Everything that led up to this point happened. We can't go back and change it. At least as far as I know, maybe in whatever quantum theory can't go back and change it. So what do we got? We can try to look to the future. And that's, you know, yeah, that's, there's a there's again, there's a evolutionary survival mechanism. We as humans, as we grew, we became more creative. We can think of this and that me and them and how you know, what do I want, and we can create great art. We can create food and whatever this shelter. And it can be as difficult as can be to believe, as is often said in as far as I know, most Buddhist traditions, least Zen, I've heard it many times that there are no accidents, just circumstances that we might not prefer at any given time. Prefer and air quotes, I guess. But Zen practice can help us, you know, reduce and maybe even, ideally, cease that suffering. But you know, it's not gonna, it's not gonna get rid of the causes of it. It's not gonna get rid of the circumstances that led up to this point. And it's, you know, constantly, when we're constantly dwelling in the past or fear in the future, we're not. Miss, you know this right here, the people around us right now, you know there's, there's no there's no war, as far as we know right now, there's no war. Oh yeah, we suck. We've seen photos, we've seen news. We've, yeah, there's, there's stuff going on right here. Right now, I'm sitting around a bunch of lovely people working on themselves and doing their best to be present.

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Okay, this final little bit, and then we're done. It's almost 1030 just one other little story that I just as well as things that you can't make up. So when we were down in down in Mexico, I was just fascinated with all the different birds and insects and taking photos of things. And I found this nice, beautiful butterfly that was hanging upside down under a leaf, and it was green. Looked like a green monarch, basically, oh my gosh, and it's a little bit larger than a monarch. I got a photo of it. And after session, this young, young guy who was in seshin was telling, telling me a story. Geez, I didn't mention anything about butterfly photo, telling, telling a story. Oh, you know, it's like one day, day two or three, whatever, day one or two, whatever. I was walking around, I see this butterfly on a branch, and, you know, I just came up to it, and, you know, kind of bowed to it, because it's so beautiful. And then it opened its wings for me, it was opened its wings, so I opened my hands like, yes, you know. And then it closed his wings, and I called. I closed my hands and bowed to it. And then he then said, you know, later that day he saw in the room he was staying in, there was a painting, drawing or painting, on the wall of his room, and it was that butterfly. He's like, you know, the artist could have been a little bit more whatever detailed here and there, not quite accurate. Okay, he's judging. He's like, all right, whatever. He's like, I, you know, I know this is day two, whatever I'm tired and whatever my my thoughts aren't this or that. And then he said, later in the week, he happened to look at it again, and he sees the signature of the of the artist, and it was a signature of his aunt. And he said, you know, he she sticks out in his mind, because as a young boy, he saw her die right in front of him. That's the first time he learned of death. So it's just,

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and you know, we were talking like, Okay, but what does it mean? So many, who knows? There's so many things. And, you know, I said, Oh, how do you in Spanish? How do you say it is what it is? And he said, the literal way is s, k o, s. But he said, the way we would really say it is s, K O, I, this is what we have. This is what there is. I,

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and I guess I'll just end with the quote from the great philosopher and baseball player, Yogi Berra, known for saying it's tough for making, it's tough to make, to sit, it's tough to make predictions, especially about the future. So with that, I guess as Kalal i and four of vows tangeni.

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