Hey there, we did it, friends, we made it through the New Year New you messaging out in dominant culture and into this second to last week of January, we did it. How was life landing for you these days. I had originally planned to air this episode during the second week of January, but life had its own plans that we had just not had our luck with sickness. We had strep in the house, I had that on top of a sinus infection, we're still dealing with strap, some COVID, who it's been a rough month, to say the least. But we were lucky, we had two adorable snow happenings. Midway through all of this, and it was really fun and exciting, because I really love the snow. And where I live in New Jersey, we usually get snow in the winter. But we've been in parently in a snow drought for the last two years or so. And we barely even got a dusting last year. And the year before that, we got one good snow storm that happened, luckily, on my oldest birthday, which, of course, if you love snow as a kid was really cool. But honestly, to have such little snow is uncharacteristic of where we live. And I've really missed it. So it was really fun to have two snowstorms within the span of seven days. And I have to be honest, it felt as though nature's like messaging of keep slowing down was kind of like in our face. And we you know, like we were being not only encouraged, but kind of forced to keep that top of mind. So I'm really grateful for all of that. And I have to also be honest, I'm really grateful to be on the other side of all of the messaging and the press pressure around New Year's resolutions, you know, choosing a word, setting an intention by now. And don't get me wrong, like if that is something that is important to you. If that is something that is motivating to you, that gives you kind of clarity and direction, absolutely do it. And it's not too late. And it's not too late. Just so you know, if you're still like, Oh, really? No, I'm not sure, right? If nothing really feels like it's connecting or landing for you. There please no, there is not a timeline on this. And even if you do know that, right, say you have kind of detached yourself from that dominant narrative. For a while now. I know for me, I still find that there is this pressure or I feel a little guilt or shame if I haven't, like if it's something I want to do. And I haven't done it by now. That's still that timeframe of like, by the end of January, that I'm feeling a certain way about myself if I haven't yet. And so if this is something important to you, check out the last Episode Episode 43. Because, you know, I talk about creating this practice from a more decolonized mindset, one that allows us to be really intentional and connected to like, our purpose for being here our purpose for how we live our lives each day. And you know, please feel free to check that out. But again, also just reminding you that it's okay, if you don't have an area of focus for your year. Set yet it's okay, if you never set one. It's also okay if you set one and it changes. But for today's conversation, I really want to talk about winter's messaging and theme and I know we've been talking about this in, you know, recent episodes. And there's a piece that I really want to focus on, you know, because winter, we're still in winter, by the way, sometimes I feel like dominant culture, you know, doesn't allow us to really remember that we are in winter, in terms of the invitation to slow down to turn inward to rest, to reflect, to rejuvenate and to imagine because there's really like a huge ass conflict right between the way dominant culture is behaving itself and this this invitation, right? And so I'm curious for you like are you seeing a clash between that invitation and the way you are seeing like life happening out in the world? I have friends who work like out in the world out in the public In public organizations, and they are, they they've been telling me sharing with me how it's been a really tough adjustment, you know, where they're, they're wanting to kind of be slow, and be intentional and, you know, be caring of themselves as they begin the new year, but they are also working with and for people who, you know, have initiatives and have resolutions and have these goals in mind that they're just, you know, raring to go on, and that it's been a real struggle for them these last couple of weeks to kind of navigate this. And that sounds really hard. I also feel like another complicated piece that we don't talk about enough, is that winter starts at a really busy time, right? We're talking about the holiday season, with Hanukkah, Christmas Kwanzaa happening, holidays happening, often, simultaneously or near to one another, I do believe that there sometimes is also a Muslim holiday happening. So my apologies, if I'm leaving any holidays out, feel free to bring them to my attention. Although you do not have to do that labor, I certainly can do that research on my own. You know, and this is all happening amidst like the end of the year wrap ups, and then you know, the the beginning of the New Year's resolution, get healthy, get organized, plan out your success path for the year, kind of conversations happening, right. And this is all happening during the darkest days of the year. And so there is a disconnect there, right? That rubs up. And there's because there's so much hustle and bustle that's involved in these events, whether it is the holidays, whether it's the end of the year wrap ups, whether it is you know, starting to think about what it is that you want to focus on for the following year. And that's the exact opposite of what's happening in nature. And you might say, well, staff, you know, like, one of the invitations for winter is to imagine, right, it's to kind of plan for what you want to come Yes, for sure. But you know, nature is happening in three months seasons. And so there isn't really anything happening in nature. And there's I don't believe there to be the invitation or that we should kind of think about the invitation in terms of like, okay, well, we need to have everything set within a couple of weeks, right? Like there's dormancy that's happening for the whole three month period. And this is all coming on the heels of that glitch period, which is also write a challenging time when we're switching from one season to the next. So much of this can leave us feeling uneasy can leave us feeling overwhelmed, can leave us feeling lethargic, sometimes all of it at the same time. Now, for me, in the last couple of years, prior to 2023, I did start to slow down towards the end of the year, the last two weeks, specifically the last couple of years, because I started to really feel like it was essential, like to my mental health. It was as if I needed that in order to even just try to begin to recover from the years worth of overwhelm and burnout. And it did help. And last year in you know, 2023 I felt as though I are sorry, 2022 leading into 2023. I felt as though I had created enough of a strong foundation, where I could slowly ease into the new year as well. Right. So I did the easing out of 2022. And I started 2023 kind of slow as well. And I did find that to be hard when you know my husband went back to teaching January 2, my kids went back to school and like their winter sports began. For me teaching at Rutgers. I don't begin until the end of or middle of January. So I have like a little bit of a two week period where I can be a little slower. Yes, of course I have my business, right. But I can be intentional about how I spend my time in what I'm doing for my business. And so I noticed that when even as I was slowing things down in my business in January last year, that I still felt, you know, this pressure that struggle between the hustle and bustle the
demands of my kids in my husband's schedule, and the slowness that I still wanted. And so I have found myself being really intentional about other ways beyond my business that I was slowing down this year, this past year in fall 2023 Right so I kind of did that in January. And then when I got to fall this past year I started to think about, like, how am I coming to the slowdown this year, I had been thinking about starting the slowdown, maybe a week earlier in December. So rather than just the last two weeks, maybe it's the last three weeks, and getting that, you know, full three weeks of intentional slowdown before January 1, or second, when you know, my kids or my husband got back to school. And then, you know, I started to brainstorm from then as to what my January slowdown would look like. But if you've been around this show for a little while, you know, that life really played out very differently than I had planned with my dad's passing in November. And so my slow down at the end of 2023, and into now has been, for a whole other set of reasons that I never expected aid. And it has everything to do with the black hole that I'm kind of living in now, as I tried to wrap my mind around my dad, but I want to make sure to remind you that whether or not you've had a life altering event happen in 2023, or, you know, earlier than that, you know, the state of the world is really weighing on our collective mental and emotional well being. And I know you know that right. But I think it, I think it's worthwhile to say, I think that we really need to say it, I don't think that, you know, you know how sometimes people will be like, Well, if you say things over and over and over again, it loses its value loses its its its essence, but for this, I don't think it's, it's that applies, because I think that we need to continue to remind ourselves that you know, what we are experiencing this collective overwhelm, this collective stress, it is it is something that is worth naming as often as we can, right so that we don't forget it. So we don't bypass ourselves. So we don't gaslight ourselves into trying to feel differently, because we've forgotten why we feel this way in the first place. Right? So with that reminder, like, if you feel like you are just not into starting the year with a bang, or having some sort of focus, you know, that's okay. You know, if you're feeling like you really need to continue to slow things down. Or maybe you got caught up in, you know, things kind of picking up pace at this time, and you're like, No, this does not feel good, then, you know, maybe this is the invitation to listen to that, I don't know, right, like, because I feel as though for those of us who are doing the hard work of liberating ourselves from the BS of dominant culture, we still find ourselves up against that rug right there, there can be a tug of war happening. And sometimes we find ourselves kind of going back to old habit. And sometimes we find ourselves standing our ground, but that's really hard. And so I invite you to just notice what's coming up for you as I talk about this. And as we can continue, as we continue to talk today. You know, over the course of 2023, a lot of the spaces I held, I was talking about your Vedic Science and wisdom, you know, in terms of our well being throughout the year, and also talking about shifting our minds to remember that each season is three months long, right? We don't have to rush through it, to enjoy it all. We don't have to rush through it to get to the other side of it. You know, and even more importantly, each of these seasons has a specific purpose in nature, and a specific purpose, I believe that we are called to as well. And so in terms of nature's cycle, winter is our dormant phase, our planning phase. It's our, you know, kind of regeneration or rejuvenation phase, so that in spring, we can begin to tend the soil and begin our initial planting, summer is more planting and some reaping. And then fall is our final reaping or cleanup and our wind down phase. And so I'm wondering, you know, we have about eight more weeks of winter. How can you take a note from nature, and continue to reflect continue to arrest and recalibrate, to rejuvenate, imagine, you know, very slowly and expansively and continue slow planning through the first half of March because the reality is spring does not begin to like March 18, or something this year. I'm curious how might you deepen habits or create new ones if that's what you want to do around this part of nature cycle in your life? One of Ayurveda as guiding principles of self care is take it easy. And I don't know about you, but what comes to mind when I hear that phrase is often softening intensity. Maybe not pushing too hard or so hard, maybe even leisure. And within the principle of taking it easy are a variety of practices including but not limited to hobbies quite I get time time to yourself as well as rest practices. I've been talking about all of this all last year, this first the first season of the podcast. So feel free, you know, to tune into past episodes or, you know, just stick here with this. You know, I find that especially in in the circles that I'm in, you know, I'm around so many people who really do enjoy the December slowdown, who really look forward to it, who find it to be something essential. And wanting to maintain that as January begins, I'm finding more and more people really do want to align with winters with with winters vibe, and so I'm curious for you, you know which piece of this hobby is quiet time time to yourself or rest practices where, which is kind of emerging for you, as you know, something that you want to continue with, because maybe you did do these things during your December slowdown in even maybe your initial January slowdown if you had one. And maybe that fell off a little bit in the last week or two, maybe it fell off. Prior to that, I don't know. But I'm curious, like what's emerging for you right now that's like, oh, my gosh, pick me, this is what I need to know. I know, for me, when I am busy, My hobbies are what gets pushed to the side. And if you've been around the show, the last few months or so, you know that in the last year or so I've been deliberate about creating blank space in my day, that space where I don't schedule meetings, I don't you know, it's a space and time where I'm not doing errands or, you know, stuff around the house since I've worked from home most days. And I instead have some quiet time or time to myself or do rest practices, because I've noticed that they are truly necessary for my daily well being specifically for my mental and emotional fortitude. But hobbies for some reason I find maybe it's because it's like something that I do for like personal enjoyment. And in my mind, and this might be where capitalism Dies Hard for me. In my mind, I view them as not as like, as essential, as, you know, quiet time time to myself and best practices. And so it gets pushed aside. And I'm not saying that they are not as essential, but somehow I've convinced myself of that. You know, like when free time and resources, including money are limited. Something's gonna get pushed aside. So for me, it tends to be hobbies. So I'm curious, you know, what are you noticing for yourself as I talk about myself, I'm always interested in feel free to always reach out and share. I, you know, I want you also to create space as you're considering all this to like, where the resistance is coming up, like where is capitalism? Where's dominant culture? You know, coming up, right? White supremacy culture, like, Where's all that coming into either, where you find yourself pushing things aside, where you find yourself, maybe bypassing yourself, gaslighting yourself, even, you know, where are some of your beliefs? You know, where are the ties still coming up? And where might there be some resistance as you begin to consider something different, right? Because usually, there's, there's a rub, right? Like, we're here, even for those of us who are deep in the work of decolonization and then liberating ourselves, right? It's hard. But as you know, the shift is necessary, right? And so, you know, here's the thing, right? Like, you may be like, staff, man, I really just, there's this one thing I really love to do for myself, and I just, you know, I find that the struggle is real, right? Like, there's a tug of war happening between, like, how I want to show up to myself care, the things I want to do for myself, and kind of the pull of old processes and procedures, right, because I'm busy, I've got a lack of time and energy, I've got a lack of resources, possibly, right.
You know, and so, I'm here, you know, like in this lack place, because of burnout and overwhelm, right, and the systems we're living in. And I know, sometimes that can cause us to feel like there's like an all or nothing approach, right? Maybe an implementation of like, hard or extreme boundaries, because whether it's due to a lack of time of energy, time, or energy, or maybe, you know, old habits die hard, right, and you haven't yet worked out a better way to where there's a little bit more balance. And remember, balance doesn't mean 5050 But where you've got some space and time to do this thing you want or to create a sustained habit, you know, like, you may decide, okay, well, I'm just gonna totally go off social media, like you kind of quit things, cold turkey, right? You implement these really hard or rigid boundaries. Not to say that that's bad, right? But remember, it's not sustainable. And what we want to look to is not just something that works for a period of time, in terms of, you know, to give us that little bit of relief, we want to look toward because yes, we do need a little bit of relief. So don't get me wrong. But the, what I really want you to start to consider is something sustainable. Right. And in case you're telling yourself that, if you just work harder, if you just become more efficient plan or organize or control more, that you'll get to the other side of busy, overwhelmed burnout and be able to do what you want to create spot space time capacity for, there's, they're literally you, you cannot, like there's no amount of hard in terms of like, if you just work harder, they're just you can't work hard enough to get to the other side, because burnout doesn't work that way, overwhelmed doesn't work, that way the system doesn't work that way, is not about doing more or being more being more efficient, efficient, organized, planned or having more control. And since the bullshit of the systems isn't gonna slow down anytime soon, not to say we're not making dents because we are, right, it's just not possible to work hard enough to get to the other side of this BS, right? Where they're, you know, it's not like if you work hard enough, you'll get to the place where there's more space, time and capacity. Because that doesn't exist, you have to be able to create the space time and capacity with where you are now. Ray. And I know that's hard. That's really hard to sit with. But if you're really wanting to keep the slowdown going, if you want to continue to answer nature's call to reflect rest, to recalibrate, rejuvenate, imagine and plan through the first week of or the first few weeks of March, what needs to shift is not trying to do more, or find just the right practices, or doing them just the right way. Instead, what needs to shift is learning to be with the resistance that you're feeling now, when you know trying to care for yourself in the way that you want to rubs up against. You know, the messaging that you're telling yourself, right, maybe the messaging of dominant culture that's still present for you, is learning to be with that resistance. And then learning to be with the discomfort as you move and and move through it. As you decide to continue with the self care that you decide to do despite the resistance you're feeling. That's where it is right, we often focus on the actual practice, right? And the way we come to the practice, and how often are we doing the practices is the practice potent enough, which these are all important things. But what we're not paying attention to enough, is being with the resistance, and learning to move through the discomfort, right, because that's where, you know, it's cuz it's hard, it's hard to be in resistance, it's hard to be with discomfort when life is already so hard. Right? It is hard to find the energy to do this, and to keep coming back to the practice of being with the resistance and the discomfort. And part of that, obviously, is the system. Part of that is the overwhelm and the burnout rate. But there's also a lot of doubt, doubt, there's guilt or shame, there should there's judgment when it comes to trying to do things differently. But remember, that's all the byproduct of the systems and breaking away from it. This is part of the disruption process. And so I encourage you, right to continue to learn to be with the resistance that arises when you want to do something for yourself that's different from what dominant culture says. And continue to build the skill of dealing with the discomfort of deciding to go through it anyway. I'm not gonna lie, this might be your focus for 2024 and 2025, and 2026 and beyond. Because Damn, if how we've been conditioned within white supremacy, culture, capitalism doesn't die hard. That's the truth of it. Right? So what I want you to do as this, take some time to consider how can you meet yourself when the doubt guilt shame should and judge judgment creep in when there is a rub between what you want to do and what dominant culture is saying? Or what your narrative is saying? How will you be with the resistance and the discomfort? Will you be breathed through it? Will you sit with it? Will you name it? Will you give it a seat at your desk? Right when that resistance come up? comes up? What will you do? And how might you begin to build the skill of dealing with discomfort of deciding to follow through with this self care practice that you want to do? Even when life gets in the way? How will you actually deal through actions with the doubt the guilt the shame, shame and judgment that creeps in? I remember my friends, showing up to the work of liberation requires us to be well and an integrity. Right. And I know that it's really hard. It's not that you don't care enough about yourself care in your well being. Right, it just feels like there's just not enough space for doing what we need to do out in the world and caring for ourselves. I encourage you to continue on this path, right. And the end, one of the best things you can do for yourself is to release the pressure, right? Because there's so much, and that's where we have to because these systems right there in place, we are poking holes, we are disrupting it. To continue to do this. To continue to move forward with this. We first have to release the pressure, we've got to soften the tension and we've got to gain some clarity. When it comes to our care as we continue to move forward. You can talk about this in real time with me one on one and a release the pressure call. And how that works is we meet on Zoom for block blocking of 90 minutes to discuss where you're, where you're experiencing life, and how you want to feel as you move through it. And of course, we can meet for less time if you don't need that long. And we'll work on getting some clarity, you know, work through dealing with barriers you're facing, and consider steps to meet the resistance and discomfort. And you'll also have customized self care, I'll offer a few simple shifts to the practices you're doing. Based on your available time and energy, I may offer a couple of new ones if you're in the space for that. Also that you can release the pressure little by little and begin to move in the direction without that guilt shame showed a judgment or at least with tools to meet yourself there because the ease you're looking for really as possible. So friends, you can get the information to book that call with me at Steff gallante.com/release-the-pressure-call. You can also just go to my homepage and click on work with me and it'll take you right there. And my dears, as always, before we leave one another, I'm offering you up some wrap up considerations. How can you use what we discussed today? And what comes up for you to human more easily? How can you use it to connect more authentically and deeply to your community to move towards more you know more of a mass mutual reliance, our situation and away from our individualistic society that white supremacy culture gives us how can you continue to uplift those in your computer II can your community especially those with identities that are more marginalized in your own? I know big time questions. But until next time, my friend please be kind please be gentle to yourself. Be compassionate to yourself. Just as you were to those who are most precious to you, whether that's a human and animal baby or a plant. And remember, I really love to hear from you. I cannot even begin to describe to you how it feels when people reach out letting me know they listened letting me know something resonated, that something provoked some sort of something happening within them that they needed to sit with whatever it is. And so please, please reach out and share this with me I really do love it. Of course if you have any ideas for things that you want me to discuss in future episodes, share that and if you've been loving the show, I would love and appreciate if you would share this with your nearest and dearest and also please leave a review and or a rating it truly helps. Now my friend remember you are a badass and you are enough. Go be your favorite self and be well
