2023-09-06 Life and Teachings of Tangen Harada Roshi 5

6:17PM Sep 12, 2023

Speakers:

Sensei Amala Wrightson

Richard von Sturmer

Keywords:

breath

practice

vow

roshi

life

dharma

attain

counting

buddha

wrote

beings

day

teacher

truth

zen

meet

true

buddha dharma

breathing

commitment

The talk you're about to hear is by Roshi Amala Wrightson, teacher at the Auckkland Zen Centre.

Today is the fifth day of our spring seven day sesshin. It's the sixth of September 2023. And we're continuing to read from and comment on, "Throw Yourself into the House of the Buddha: The Life and Zen Teachings of Tangen Harada Roshi.

We going to take up the chapter, entitled "Zazen" and look at two passages in this chapter, one on breath and one on mind - essentially basic instructions on thebreath. The breath flows in and out from the bottom of your belly. You are breathing from your tanden. I mentioned this before it says energy center in the lower abdomen. You can become settled in this way. Patiently breathe this one breath - deeply from your lower belly. Your tanden becomes your center naturally. The bottom of your belly is where you are the stablest. The breath goes in, the breath goes out. Pour all your body, all your spirit into this one breath. There is nothing outside of it. Just breathe this one breath. This is all there is. Give it your all. You are one the one with the breath. The way is one. Just repeat that last sentence. You are one with the breath. The way is one. Even if you're not thinking about taking this breath, the breath is breathed for you. You are perfectly nurtured like a baby is nurtured by its mother.

This is one of the the extraordinary things about the breath. We can be eating or talking or walking, doing some kind of complicated task and we don't stop breathing it happens. This is why Tongan says we're perfectly nurtured like a baby as nursery births mother. The breath flows in and out of us. When we sleeping also, Tony continues, there is nothing to figure out. You are naturally cared for. When you go to sleep at night. Are you directing your breath? Since you were born 2040 70 years ago, 365 days a year. How many times in one night alone has this breath been breathed? Always it has been natural. You never had to will it to be. So who is breathing for you? Who is breathing this breath. Don't look away. This breath is true life. This breath is everything. This breath is perfectly receiving all things. This one breath is repaying all the goodness of the universe. This is the heart of all the cosmos. There are no boundaries to this one breath. The host is here. Who is the host? Can someone take this breath for you? This is total mutual support and sustenance. The heart of all Bing is now here in this one breath. Think of a exercise that John seed does when he has workshops with people John cedars, an Australian rainforest activist. And one of the things he offers only at his workshops is a meditation with a tree where one sits at the base of the tree or could be grass I guess I think that's the workshop we had. That's what we did because we didn't have any trees handy so to speak. But just to sit and breathe and recognize that you're What you're breathing in is what the plant is breathing out. And what the plant is breathing is what you're breathing out

next section is hitting up mind various ways of practice are given to us, there is a practice just right for you, the practice will reveal to you this one way path. There is no question of comparing and in saying this is a good practice, but that one is not so good. It's just like the Olympics, you have 100 meter races, 1000 meter races and marathons. Depending on the way that you are able to practice one practice will be better for you than another. It is only if you're not giving yourself completely to the practice that you will become dissatisfied with it. There is counting the breath following the breath shikantaza Mu, the sound of one hand, your original face and many other kinds. This the sound of one hand perhaps in the popular culture The best known of the cons, what is the sound usually put what is the sound of one hand clapping? It comes from Hickey go Hekiganroku As part of a Hekiganroku. koan number number 18.

And the original faces what is another one from one of the cons? What was your face before your parents gave birth to you is sometimes the way it's asked.

And then of course, there are many others the whole collections the teaching is the same and each practice reveals one and the same thing. Counting the breath is the perfect practice at the beginning Shakyamuni Buddha himself taught this practice we have example after example of it in the sutras Anapanasati this this comes up again and again is as a central teaching mindfulness of breath.

Starting with a few deep above abdominal breaths, your eye your mind's eye settles on your lower belly. Counting on the exhale, just count one and in here it's it's spelled o n e. So, wow

there are different ways of counting but this one of of extending the count for the length of the breath in one's mind. I suddenly found a very useful way to to practice with with the breath. This helps us to have the breath fuller fill our awareness to do to have a counting extend through the whole of the race so Wow.

Three

there is no separation just doing just being the breath being the count to just

count to 10 and naturally start again from one earnestly count this one breath. Do not let yourself be bothered by thoughts and feelings. If you fall off the count you pull yourself together and go back to counting your breath. Many thoughts arise in the brain. Just let them be as a Soto teacher Bucha which Yama Roshi who said the brains job is to excrete thoughts Just as the pancreas excretes insulin we could say. So that's that's what a brain does that this putting it in terms of excretion highlights the the worth of those, many of those thoughts that the brain excretes it's often pretty scattershot, all kinds of different things.

The brain is actively going all the time, which is neither good nor bad. Whatever arises no matter how inviting it appears, neither entertain it, nor reject it. This is the key. Be strong on this point. Be firm and determined, be resolved. The whole host is not the discriminating consciousness, the host is true self, all of heaven and earth same route. All the myriad beings are one body, the true nature. All of heaven and live the same route

openly, obediently be pure. Grasp nothing. Hold nothing. Rest nowhere. Does that famous statement in the Diamond Sutra, arouse the mound with the mind without its abiding anywhere, don't get stuck anywhere. Or when you do get stuck, just keep that going back to the breath. Getting back on the horse. Let go of everything. You are the embodiment of truth just as you are. Stay in your turned in do this wondering what is wondering. You can only answer this for yourself by doing it. Simply count this breath Tongan Roshi that Mukherjee is to come into the Zendo and he'd walk around behind people sitting in meditation says in and he would say only doing who sang it in English for the sake of the gaijin only doing

it one wholehearted breath is a step taken. This is the law of karmic inevitability the steps that you take is never lost just carry on give it your all then give it some more clearly decisively give it your all then give it some more. We don't know what our all is we've had very little truck with it in our lives. So often we we engage in things half heartedly it's It sounds simple, doesn't it? All I have to do is give the breath my all what is that? And are we truly alive when we holding something back? But the difficulty is of course that we can't just say okay, I'm going to give it my all and it happens. It takes repetition it takes persistence, dedication, commitment, to really discover what are all means. As he says you can only find this out for yourself by doing it.

One wholehearted breath is a step taken. This is the law of karmic inevitability. The CIP that step that you take is never lost. Just carry on. Give it your all and then give it some more clearly decisively settled on this one bit breath. Nothing agitates you. Counting the breath is the perfect practice of truth. You need not entertain In any ideas of gain of getting something everything that you need is right here. Everything You Need to Know You know already if you practice counting the breath, you will become very calm in this practice and flustered by anything that arises. The mind settles, it takes it takes days for this to happen for most of us, but it happens, if we engage wholeheartedly with our practice you are giving your life over to this practicing set in such a way that there is no tomorrow thinking that you still have time is a loss of valuable time depending on having tomorrow to deepen your practice is not bounded is not giving over your life to the practice. There is only today only this one period of meditation actually there is only this one breath only this one doing this one single point this is all there is.

Whether there is counting the breath following the breath Mu or shikantaza Burn within that practice and your practice will take care of itself. Practice nurtures practice. What does this mean just when he says burn I think it points to the kind of intensity that we need to practice with. And also the the role that the practice plays in consuming us. We burn up

master Dogon said just study the way is to study the self, to study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be enlightened by the 10,000 things. It's this the burning refers to this burning up in Mu or the breath or this prison moment

first and foremost, believe with all your life that you are immersed in the Buddha way here and now. We walk this one path, purely throwing all of your mind into it, maintain this one straight path. This one practice you have been given to do if you practice in this way, you won't have the possibility of regret later. When your practice is wholehearted like this, everything comes together to support you. There is no more separation. As we discover this, if we really give ourselves over to something, then what is our body so it was spring up to help. ALAN WALLACE, the Federal piano teacher, he expresses this as the road rises up to meet us. If we really commit to something, then to a particular path, then that path rises up and meets us. He relates his his own seeking in relation to this as a young man and and a series of impossible kinds of coincidences that that happened to bring him to his teacher.

When the teacher when the student is ready, the teacher appears saying in Buddhism

there is no room for any reasoning or conceptualizing or trying to figure it out. If you throw everything into your practice, then everything gives itself to you to make one whole pure doing. But if you don't really do it wholeheartedly, then you won't be able to appreciate the intimacy of Buddha heart. Even though we were all always and equally receiving and living out this treasure, we are eating a feast even without tasting it That is a real waste. So, it's important point he makes here. Even though right now, as we are, we are all, always and equally receiving and living out as treasurer. Many of us are doing that without realizing it, eating a feast without even tasting it. What a waste

it is so difficult to attain a human birth and as human beings, does everyone have this opportunity to hear the teachings of Buddha Dharma in this life, certainly not. The Dharma incomparably profound and minut Lee subtle, is rarely accounted, even in hundreds of 1000s of millions of kalpas. This is, this is a quote from the gutter of opening the sutras, which is recited before teisho. And in some Zen lineages. The Dharma income probe, incomparably profound and minute new subtle, is rarely encountered, even in hundreds of 1000s of millions of Calpis. A kalpa is already an immeasurably long time, an eon and Buddhist cosmology, but then it's hundreds and 1000s of millions of CalPERS. So we all just the fact that we've encountered the dharma as evidence of our good karma and opportunity not to be missed. The do illustrate this, this Rarity is the image of a of a blind turtle that comes up every 100 years to for a breath and encountering the dharma as likely as that blind tutor or putting his head through a a yoke that happens to be floating one yoke that happens to be floating on the surface of the ocean.

Happily,

we are blessed with this human body. Happily, we are able to meet with Buddha Dharma. True Nature meets with itself. Self awareness is possible. We have this capacity, and we are in a position to attain liberation. At the same time, we have infinite capacity you to use our wits to be clever and judgmental, to look away from reality or out from the reality of our own being. And I'm sure many people can relate to this, that we that we get caught up in, in the clever use and have our wits judging mind. And we do this to look away because it's it's it's scary looking at her the reality of our own being. He says, Lay down your self cherishing, throw yourself into the house of Buddha, then everything is done by Buddha. Leave it up to Buddha release the hold of the small self and know how vast you are. Just practice and know how vast and wonderful the way is. How vast and wonderful

next chapter is is hit it up vow. There is a teaching that says if your original aspiration is incorrect, all the myriad practices will be in vain. if your aim is encouraged, whenever you do, whatever you do will be of no use. So, the mind with which we set out to practice in is all important. Practice comes to life in your vows. So please reflect and ask yourself, what is it that I vow? What do I pray for?

This is always a good question to ask.

Some people find it useful to to formulate the vows, the personal vows and to, to say them silently to oneself at the beginning when ever have a day of sitting, or, or block sitting.

He says, You have a baby, then a teenager, and then soon a young adult, day by day, month by month, year by year your life marches on. No one wants their life to pass by swiftly but how swiftly this life does pass. There is no respite. No stopping the flow of moments, days years. Before you know it you are 20 years old 3040 Can it be 50? Already? 60. Or maybe that's enough? 70 There is no slowing it down. In fact, subjectively, it seems that the older you are, the more quickly time seems to pass. Where did that decade go? It seems seems to have gone in a flash. In olden days, it was rare to live to be 70 years old. And in so many countries in the world, this is still true. It is said that Japan has the longest life expectancy in the world now. But the mere numbers of days and years don't tell us much. The question is, what do you do with these fleeting days? What do you seek? What is it that you truly desire? What is your prayer, your vow in life? Some people have the impression that there's no such thing as as praying in Zen. But you could say that the whole Zen way of life is a kind of prayer. And vows which what we do more than more than than literally pray, are very central to Zen practice. Because what we intend, so shapes our experience

you must look into yourself to answer this question, what am I working toward? What do I live for? What have I done with my life? Some people would probably honestly answer that they have wanted many different things and up till now they have followed their desires. Confronted with these questions, you may experience some sense of regret if your starting aim is not correct. But if your aim is correct, each endeavor is the real endeavor. Each endeavor is sincere true with no regrets. Truth is brought to life in your vow it's not like we can't purify our valves or purify our intentions. It's not like if you have a have a impure vow, then you're then you're gonna have to write yourself off. We may come to the practice with with some self serving goals. And then through the practice we we we modify that we we purify it

recently when I was going through my room, I came upon a piece of paper, something I wrote long ago. It's dead donated, stated 15th of October 1947 I wrote it at the time of my first opportunity to meet with Buddha Dharma. Maybe get a sense of what his room must be like if there are bits of paper floating about that come from 1947. My teacher took a photo of Tang and Roshi his room when he was broke, aka G, because it staggered him. So it was you could hardly see the beard for the piles and piles and piles of stuff. But what a treasure he pulled forth on this occasion, this this document from 15th of August 1945, which was the official day that the the war ended

I know the document was two years later, so it was 47.

I came upon a piece of paper, something I wrote long ago. It's dated October 15 1947. I wrote it at the time of my first opportunity to meet with Buddha Dharma. The war had ended on August 15 1945. And after I came back to Japan, I went to soza Nagasawa Roshi temple for my first sesshin she is the female disciple of Dianne Roshi is right after that first machine, just before I went to meet my teacher, Diane Roshi for the first time at her Shinji, this is what I wrote. The one way path of repaying gratitude for all things received the purpose of human life, I will perfect my character, that is to say become a living Buddha. I will arouse the body mind and devote myself to zazz in so that I can awaken to the truth of the great universe as soon as possible. I won't let anything distract me from realizing absolute self. Each day I will accumulate merit merit both hidden and noticed and not him, increasing my store of blessings and capabilities, so that I can carry on the great work. Then he, he wrote a poem following this. With yearning, I vow to follow the jeweled vision of all the gods of heaven and earth. With yearning, this is this is a useful term, think of as of our practice. self centered desires is not helpful in practice, grasping at results of one kind or another, but we all come with yearning, yearning to become who and what we really are yearning to see into this life of ours, to engage with it, rather than than hang back on the borders of it.

So let us celebrate our yearning, express our yearning. Not to do so as is sort of dishonest.

On a second page, I wrote I vow with all my heart, if there if there is good and evil, to always pursue good with my true heart. To give me the means to do this, I will follow a true teacher. Keep true friends and read through texts to stay on the straight path without weakening I will use the whip to encourage myself. Even if I am coughing up my own blood. I promise with all my heart to sincerely lay down my life for this. He then comments I must have written this with all my heart. On the next line I wrote and underlined with small red dots. burnings zealously like the sun bright and broadminded like the vast skies settled and unmoving like the mountains growing pure like flowing water, being like great nature. This is signed and dated, was with his signing with his His play name also. He says that was some 55 years ago. And it seems I didn't know a thing about Bodhidharma Bodhidharma. What I wrote there now seems somehow cute and innocent. It was where I was at at the moment, that moment, but it was not without meaning because everything depends upon our our sincere commitment to follow the Dharma. I'm not sure about appearing cute. But it does display this this fierce energy and remembering that he was an ex kamikaze pilot, who who sincerely been willing to lose his life in order to protect his country. So he says elsewhere, it wasn't so hard for him to do make a similar commitment. Though we saw him yesterday, the day before that, he took it to unhealthy extremes and had to, to heal from that before he could continue.

When we arouse the thought of realization, the determined to attain realization, everything that we do becomes a manifestation of realization, each step this one step.

I've heard more than once from students how what a what a two change they feel when making this commitment. Because suddenly it everything that happens whether it's whether it's a positive thing or, or a negative thing. troubles are different kinds, misfortunes, loss, sickness, they're all grist for the mill. They're all they're all to be engaged with, from the perspective of dharma. And, and this gives people a lot of joy, because the life has meaning. We are we we undertaking this work to see into the nature of the mind.

He says, Everything depends upon your vowel, how alive how vital is your aim, the aim with which you vow to live your life. If you're living your life with the vow to attain realization, all his lively your vow is clear your purpose is clear. Of course, this vow has to include all beings, your promise is not a stingy one, there is no such thing as realization for one's own benefit. Very, very important fundamental point here. There is no such thing as realization for one's personal benefit. As long as you are considering your own personal well being first and foremost, how small, how lonely, how weak and ineffectual you are, but once you've made the commitment to attain realisation, which necessarily includes all beings, your foundation is no longer self centered. You no longer grasp at this, I may mine has your reason for being your vow is together with all beings, it opens everything up. If we take this fail we can we when somebody has some success or achievement or shows particular virtue, this is something we were Joycean no longer something that we negatively compared to our own experience. All it puts things into a long view also, of ours isn't limited to one lifetime. This This makes a huge difference to how we can face the ups and downs of our practice. I'm

here right from the start we find the conclusion of our journey, which is oneness with all beings, without the AI there, there is no all beings

Let me repeat that again. Without the idea there is no all beings, without all beings, no I, there is no division, no separation, no duality in truth. May all beings attain liberation, may all beings awaken to the reality of their inherent nature of their inherent perfection. This is your vow and your vow is ultimately realized, all being sentient or not simultaneously at attain the way grasses, trees, the great earth, everything becomes Buddha, pure truth. I and all beings simultaneously attain the way this is another of version of what the Buddha is said to have exclaimed at his great awakening grasses, trees in the great Earth. Nothing outside of this awakening. Truth is not touched by discriminating consciousness, truth is absolute. Beyond conditions. It is original nature, perfect virtue. That which you longed to meet is right here, right here and now. You can verify it for yourself. Please see for yourself, come to life in this profound rebirth. What else could there be for you to desire? What else could you now not? What else could you vow to do? Let go of any aim that diverges from truth. Clearly, firmly make up your mind to practice the teaching of truth and follow through with your practice. Each step is one with the truth one with life. Just be loyal to this one breath. This one step. With each breath truth is realized truth is practiced. Continuing there is just to continue. The one who simply continues is the Master among Masters. This is this last is a quote from Romans and text. The one who simply simply continues is the Master among Masters. Roshi, the Suzuki Roshi of the San Francisco says Zen Center once was asked about how he came to be Abbot of her big tea center and in the west and he said he said I was the one who stuck around. So stick around everybody will stop there and recite the Four Vows.

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