I came upon a piece of paper, something I wrote long ago. It's dated October 15 1947. I wrote it at the time of my first opportunity to meet with Buddha Dharma. The war had ended on August 15 1945. And after I came back to Japan, I went to soza Nagasawa Roshi temple for my first sesshin she is the female disciple of Dianne Roshi is right after that first machine, just before I went to meet my teacher, Diane Roshi for the first time at her Shinji, this is what I wrote. The one way path of repaying gratitude for all things received the purpose of human life, I will perfect my character, that is to say become a living Buddha. I will arouse the body mind and devote myself to zazz in so that I can awaken to the truth of the great universe as soon as possible. I won't let anything distract me from realizing absolute self. Each day I will accumulate merit merit both hidden and noticed and not him, increasing my store of blessings and capabilities, so that I can carry on the great work. Then he, he wrote a poem following this. With yearning, I vow to follow the jeweled vision of all the gods of heaven and earth. With yearning, this is this is a useful term, think of as of our practice. self centered desires is not helpful in practice, grasping at results of one kind or another, but we all come with yearning, yearning to become who and what we really are yearning to see into this life of ours, to engage with it, rather than than hang back on the borders of it.