2020-12-09 Brahmavihāras: Loving-Kindness (3 of 5)

Insight Meditation Center15min

Gil Fronsdal

00:01

Then to continue the talks on loving-kindness, mettā, goodwill – I delight in just saying those words. I think they are such wonderful qualities. It touches something precious and valuable inside just to evoke the qualities of mettā, kindness, friendliness, goodwill.

Gil Fronsdal

00:02

That wasn't always the case for me. When I was first introduced to the teachings of mettā – loving-kindness – I had a background where the way I understood these teachings was that they were artificial. They were artificially creating feelings of goodwill or kindness. These qualities were kind of sticky, excessively sweet, or maybe sentimental. But I was much more practical and pragmatic. I wanted to have a spirituality that was just about waking up, and being present in a direct, unmediated way. And this loving-kindness thing was just getting in the way.

Gil Fronsdal

00:59

And so when my early Theravādan teachers would do guided loving-kindness meditation, I just tuned them out and continued doing my basic mindfulness practice. Until a time came that through mindfulness itself – it was kind of like mindfulness was a tenderizing force – something settled and relaxed.

Gil Fronsdal

01:34

In some way that I had been holding myself closed began to open. At some point, I started having a very nice feeling inside that was new to me. There was a pleasant, easeful, warm, nice feeling of goodwill – very different from compassion (which I had already tapped into through practice). It was another thing.

Gil Fronsdal

02:15

And then at some point, I thought, "Maybe this is what these teachers are talking about. Yes, it is. This is what they mean by this goodwill, and mettā." Rather than being something I had to construct or make happen, it was welling up inside. Through recognizing it, the whole thing about practicing mettā – loving-kindness – became quite valuable for me. It was a very valuable part of my life and "a" life. When I say these words – the beginning of mettā, goodwill, kindness – just saying the words touches something in my heart. It has a feeling of singing. My heart sings a little bit to those concepts and ideas.

Gil Fronsdal

03:08

So this is the topic for this week. One of the things I want to say is that in emphasizing goodwill and loving-kindness in this tradition – the Theravādan tradition – one also does it for oneself. Regarding meditation practice – closing your eyes and focusing on your own inner experience – is easy to criticize as being self-centered.

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