49. New Earth Relationships & How Non-Monogamy is Evolving in the Digital Era

9:07AM Jun 11, 2025

Speakers:

Keegan Losleben

Michaela Soleil

Keywords:

New Earth relationships

non-monogamy

social media

AI research

algorithm

machine learning

ethical non-monogamy

relationship evolution

community

cultural shift

legal recognition

polyamory

relationship dynamics

freedom of love

global culture.

Hello sovereign lovers, and welcome to another episode of the sovereign heart podcast. My name is Michaela rose Soleil. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being you, and today I am joined by my lovely partner and guest of for a third time on this podcast, Keegan. Say hi. Keegan, hello, hello. And today we are talking about New Earth relationships and how non monogamy is evolving in the age of social media and everything online. And this episode was inspired actually by Keegan, because we had the wonderful idea to use the feature on this little AI chat GPT thing that it, you know, exists nowadays that does deep research. And I told him about this feature, and he came up with the topic of, have you ever thought to research how social media impacts non monogamy and the future of non monogamy, non monogamy. And when I think about the future, you know, I think about where we're going, and I think about the new New Earth of relationships, right, the new paradigm of relating that we're creating. So of course, we had to entertain the idea, and we had to run, run the deep research and do the article. So we found some really amazing information. There's a whole blog post that I'll share in the show notes that will go deeper into some of the stats and give a broader picture of what this kind of deep research article found. But today, we kind of wanted to bring a few of those stats into this podcast and kind of just answer some questions about it, and just kind of riff with you guys on our thoughts about what we found. So yay, let's, let's dive in. Let's get going. So the first thing that I'll say right is that as we're in this age of social media, right? There is an evolution of our hearts that has been happening, and social media is not oblivious to that. The internet is not oblivious to that, right? We talk about the algorithm, the

dreaded algorithm, right? Machine learning, machine learning. And

there is this evolution. As our hearts evolve, so do these things that we are engaging with. And that is more true now than ever with AI becoming so, so, so everywhere. And I meant to say this a note on AI, just a in my opinion, little thing you know, the fact that we're using that tool to create this I want you to notice how we're using it as a tool. We're not using it to replace our hearts, our thoughts, our human minds. We're using it as a tool to take us deeper into conversation and to do things like run deep research on the entire internet that would have taken me like three months to do on my own, that I was able to do in 10 minutes, right? That's the power of this. That's my little opinion piece. Use it for amplifying and for doing things that humans can't do. Don't use it to replace you. Don't use it and rely on it to become a human, because then it will want to do that. So let's not go down that path, and let's use this tool wisely, as I hope we're doing here today. So the algorithm is changing. It sees our hearts. It knows our hearts as they're changing, right? And it shows us more of that, over 5.1 billion people on the earth today, more than 62% of the global population use social media. And so that is how we know, dialing down to America for right now, that one in. Three Americans say they've either practiced or considered non monogamy and between 2020 and 2023, field, which is a popular dating app for those on the edge of the norms, saw a 500% rise in users identifying as ethically non monogamous. So a little bit of framing for this in our larger subject here, right is that social media has become an amplifier in the collective unlearning of traditional relationship scripts. And so this really speaks to how visibility creates this kind of mass detox, right? We've had so much programming of this is the norm. Monogamy is the norm. It's the only way it's everywhere from religion to the Animal Planet channel, the Animal Planet channel, you know what I mean. And seeing how others live in congruence with their truth, seeing them do it in different ways, allows us to see something that we otherwise couldn't have seen if we were in our isolated little communities and not able to see this larger picture, which,

interestingly enough, ties into another question that I had about, why was there such obvious decade shifts, like the 60s don't look like the 30s, they don't look like the 90s, they Don't look like the 80s, each was so distinct up until you get to about 2000 and then it just all kind of blurs together. I mean, things that Britney Spears was wearing in 2004 would look normal today. They're not like, whoa. You look like you're wearing something from 2007 like that doesn't exist because of the internet right around the 2000s it had been around for about five or six years, and people all started connecting, and we weren't going to the radio and you know the news source on TV, and those were the only places we get our culture now it was everybody in their bedrooms, their garage, hang gliding, like it. We got the whole world open to us. People in New Zealand were watching people in France talk about stuff. So we became more of a global culture, rather than a decade culture that was spoon fed to us. No, this is the music you'll hear on the radio, and this is what you'll like. So that's just all we had. Now we have podcasts, we have social media. We can listen to Spotify, and it tells us, you know, World Music, whatever we want to listen to. So we are becoming a hodgepodge or an amalgamation of humanity, not, you know Christians and French, French and Americans and you know Asian people, it's we're all starting to become a multicultural, global world, and with that concept, we're opening our eyes to non monogamy, and same sex is starting to Be more recognized. And so because of that, we're open up to more out there than what we would normally have been so sheltered to, which is why, I think now, why being somebody who is in a same sex marriage isn't going to make the headlines like it would in the 50s. That would be almost unheard

of. Yeah, and we're gonna absolutely get to that point, because that is part of this, this deeper research, right, seeing how those trends, how the gay rights movement, evolved over time, and now it is kind of something, you know, not, kind of, it is very much something that you're like, Oh yeah, my gay neighbors, right? It's just normal in society where that's something that's still on the edge, it's still on the fringe to be a non monogamous, you know, neighbor. We'll get to that, but before we do, I want to explore some questions specifically about the things that we just were bringing up. You know, how the rise in social media has really impacted the visibility of non monogamy and how that's actually helped us detox from this old program, old paradigm. So my first question is, do you remember the first time you saw a non monogamous relationship reflected online? And thought, oh, maybe this could be me, or maybe this is possible. Hmm,

online. Well, yeah, I had already kind of adopted the philosophy of non monogamy, not knowing a name for it or anything. I just knew at the time it was just, it wasn't just threesomes, it was just incorporating. Another human being in the dyadic relationship and making them a part of the relationship, not a fling, because, you know, Swingers and all polygamy and such. But I never really considered I was any of that I wanted something different, something more whole, and a way that I could express my feelings and not be shunned for it. And I honestly, I didn't really see much online, and in my experience, until I saw the Dana and the wolf and that I think the poly couple, was the first time I had seen on social media, non monogamy, being questioned, being practiced, being explored in a true, natural way, nothing that was Hollywood ID up and you're supposed to look this way, and it's supposed to be like that. This was just real people having real experiences, and then just kind of blogging about it or vlogging about it. And I thought, wow, that is an exemplary example of non monogamy.

Thank you. And I just want to, want to make a point for our listeners, right? Keegan mentioned something about an experience of more wholeness, right, and more holistic experience of this non monogamy thing that wasn't just, you know, polygamy, one one man having multiple wives, or swinging where you know you might have a couple and another couple and you swap partners for for an evening, for for some fun, or you play together. And I just wanted to note, right, that for Keegan, his version, right? Polyamory, for him, is more holistic, right? It's more whole. It's more true to his right? It's more heart centered to his heart. That doesn't mean that it is more whole or more wholesome or like the better or best way to go, right? There's many different forms of non monogamy, of you know, anywhere from monogamy to non monogamy to full on polyamory to relationship anarchist. There's always a happy thing, and I think that's really the crucial thing, of more awareness coming alive is that we have more awareness of what's possible. Instead of saying this is the only possibility which is so, so powerful,

and just as a quick note on that, that's not to say that monogamy is bad, and again, because it's more about freedom of choice and expression. If you want to be with somebody who is the opposite sex, just you and them, and that's it against the world, you know, great. I hope you find that. And if you want to say, well, I want that, but with someone of my sex, the same sex, great, I hope you find that. And if you say, Well, I want to just explore life and love and people, then great. I hope you find that, yeah,

beautiful, yeah. And personally, I the first time I saw anything reflected online that piqued my curiosity, of like, oh, maybe this is possible. Was not. It wasn't social media. First. It was somebody in my life said something about dating multiple people. It was just kind of a happenstance person I was in relationship with was like, I think I want to see multiple people. And I just typed into Google, what does it mean if you're dating multiple people at the same time, and I literally entered a rabbit hole for the next I don't even know how long, because this entire world opened up to me that I had no idea existed like I spent 20 years of my life, 23 years of my life, not even knowing that it was a thing. I didn't have any representation. I didn't have anyone in my life at all. It wasn't even on, it wasn't even on my radar. I was so surprised that this was a thing like it was like my my consciousness actually did this, like Bloop, like, total expansion in, like, a matter of three days. And it was, it was so powerful, you know, and then I ended up finding, like, social media specifically, right? Like, I started finding more and more people on there, but also having access, you know, to a global community allowed me to find a community in Portugal that had been practicing free love, non monogamy for like, 50 years. And I was like, Oh, well, then I have to go and I have to learn from them, and that's what I did, right? It allowed me to go on this journey and to choose a life path that I otherwise would not have even know. Knew. Known was existed. Known existed. It right? If that person had said, well, Whoa, let's date multiple people, and I was like, what? And I didn't have the internet to search and say what that what that was, I don't know. I don't know how long it would have been until I figured it out, right until, because I know how deeply structured my brain is sometimes, and if I didn't have, like, something telling me this is a framework that you can choose, it would have taken me a really long time to come to that conclusion. Naturally, I was one of those people that was not like, Oh, it's my natural inclination to just like, be loving multiple people and da, da, da, it was more I came from the top down where I saw it as a mental possibility, and then I went, Oh, my God, that makes so much more sense. I need to do that. And then I kind of from there, brought it more down to an emotional level and brought it into practice in my life. Beautiful. Yeah. And so the second question here is, what do you think is helpful versus harmful about the way polyamory and non monogamy is represented online? So we can think about social media, but my brain goes to like TV shows and stuff like that, so I'd love to hear your thoughts. Well,

one thing that we've seen in not only the news, but in entertainment is whatever sells, and what sells is usually drama, suspense. Oh my God, what did they say? What did they do? Oh my and so the easiest way for writers to use non monogamy is hook up culture in threesomes. And yeah, we'll have a throuple, and we'll try that out. And then, well, a throuple will lead to one of the people being jealous of the other, and then that causes friction, and it's all because of this third person that came in, if they just and it's just so easy to write that that you think, well, this is sensationalism. It'll sell. Let's do that. And you're putting that out into the consciousness. So when people are watching TV and they happen to watch an episode about non monogamy, chances are it's going to involve jealousy or somebody sleeping around or lying to their partner, and it just cements the idea in that person's head. Well, yeah, that's just going to cause problems if you bring that other person in, and I really enjoy the shows. Now, of course, that do show the complexity of jealousy and what cheating looks like for you know people and non monogamy. And of course, you can cheat on people. Cheating is just, I'm not telling you something that I know you want me to tell you. I mean, we do that all the time. So it's just I like the shows that not only address it, but then show how to move beyond that, and have the three people sit down and discuss and and show all of non monogamy, not just the pretty side and then the ugly side, but then the coming through to the other side and continuing that journey. There's very few of those right now, because that's not what sells, but those are people who want to tell that story, regardless if it sells or not, and those are the, I think, what's going to last. Yeah. So

if you're in media, more of that, please. Yeah. And when you were, when you were speaking on that two specific shows that depict the differences there that came to my mind, which I think you might have been thinking about as well. The first one was coupled to throuple, which was a reality TV show, like one of these dating shows where, you know, there's a couple, so this is already toxic, because it's a couple, and then they have an array, a buffet of singles that they can then, like, choose to bring into their throuple, and then choose to like, boot them out. And then they're, like, a single, it's, it's really, truly terrible, like, it's, it's a really terrible way of doing that, right? Because anytime that you're building a relationship, a throuple, oh my gosh, I just have to say this, a throuple is something that so many people idealize and put if they're into non monogamy, if that's something they want, they're like, Oh, we want to have a throuple. We just want to, like, have this beautiful throuple, and they think we'll just date together, which is the entire premise of the show. And it is so, so deeply

incorrect. It's unicorn hunting. Just unicorn

hunting to any unicorn hunting, but with commitment and so, yeah, this, this tends to be a fantasy, or like, Oh, my God, we'll just date together, and we never have to deal with the feelings of my partner being alone with somebody else because we're dating together. And it's like, no, that's. Not it. In any three person relationship, there is an AB relationship, a BC relationship and an AC relationship, and then the ABC relationship. So that is not something that you can do by just bringing this couple centric focus and then saying, Ooh, let's, let's just pick and choose, cherry pick for what we want, and then throw it out when we're

done, we are dating you.

Yeah, yeah. And the helpful, right, which actually was, was very recently, was poly family, which I believe came out on Netflix, which I was really surprised to see. It's a family of two couples, two married couples that met each other, and now they are a quad. So they live as a family, family of four. One couple had two kids before they came together. They all came together and decided they wanted to have more kids. They swap beds every night. You know, they have multiple kids, and they don't actually, technically know who the father is, because they didn't want to know, because they wanted there to be this dynamic. And I think so I wanted to bring this one up, because I think what's hilarious to me is that I saw the little Inklings in that series of how they were trying to make it more dramatic than it was how they were trying to instigate. Oh, you don't know who the father is. You should figure that out. It's very important trying to bring more attention to a place where there could be drama when there wasn't actually any drama, right? Like they actually were quite a normal family that just did normal things. And aside from the fact that they're a quad, they just are actually quite like a regular, mundane, like boring family. You know what I mean?

American family, you know, you got problems, you got ups, you got downs. It's just a normal life, right?

Yeah, right. So I think that that was so helpful because that was, that was a family that I had followed them on Instagram for a while before I saw them on this show, so I was actually really excited to see them there. And because I'd been following them for so long, I could see the parts that were like, Oh yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I could see where a little bit was being kind of tweaked. But I was surprised that they weren't. It wasn't really too diluted, like it was actually quite good. It was actually not bad for just telling the truth and being real with what actually was instead of making it so dramatic. And I think the truth is that they just couldn't find much to make it dramatic with. So yay for the poly family, just being a solid quad and representing thank you guys. Yeah. Okay, so we're shifting gears a little bit. I'm gonna throw a couple more, couple more factoids in the mix, really starting to talk about how this isn't just a trend, right like this isn't just a passing movement like the hippie area or something like that. This isn't just a trend. This is like a deep level shift that's happening, and not just on an emotional, psychological level, but actually on the realms of you know our culture on you know the in the realms of legality, of what is actually allowed. So in cities like Somerville and Cambridge mass, which I'm originally a mass hole, so yay, local governments have begun legally recognizing multi partner, domestic partnerships. That's fucking awesome. That's big, yeah, and many experts compare CNM trajectory to the LGBTQ plus rights movement, saying it could be the next, next cultural frontier. And as I mentioned, there's a whole blog that I'll share in the show notes, and there'll be citations and stuff like that, so you can learn more about where this information is coming from. But this isn't just me and Keegan sitting on her couch telling you, yeah, it's the next thing. There's been deep research and deep studies that have been showing that this is something that's, you know, on the rise and not really going down. Like

you said, it's not a fad. This is just a way of life that is now becoming more and more adopted as normal.

And 33% of OKCupid users. Dollars are open to non monogamy. So again, that's there's that like 1/3 of the American population at the very least, is at least considering at and that number keeps rising as well. So this is where we're really looking at non monogamy, polyamory, everything within that realm, not just as a lifestyle shift, but as a collective shift away from systems of control, domination, ownership, conditional love, love that needs to fit in a certain box, in a certain way of being, and the legal, cultural and emotional landscapes are mirroring this evolution in each of us and in the systems that we're involved with. So the question that I have around this is, I Oh, I love this one. And this is just going to be, I think the one for this. Do you think that most people are actually ready to practice non monogamy in an ethical way, or are they just reacting to the failure of monogamy, hmm,

is a good question. Yeah, it's kind of a both, and in a way, you know, and because of that, that's even more of a gap, because I think right now, with the way our culture has been steered, we are to look at each other's differences and focus on that rather than our similarities. But I think humanity is overcoming its own culture, or the culture that it's growing up in, where we're looking more at the similarities and going from there in our relationships. And that's why, I think, is another pillar, why non monogamy is starting to become accepted as an option in the dating realms. Because not only is it a little check box you can tick, but it's now more representative of freedom and the the liberation of your sexuality. I can choose whatever I want, and I think that's why we're seeing such a swing with all these types of genders and sexualities and sexual relationships and so forth, because it's kind of like a pendulum swinging. It's been pushed so far hard the other way that like, almost like a rubber band that snapped. It's now swinging that hard into the other direction, and it's just going to explode. So it's going to create a culture of non monogamy, just as a de facto state now, where it's just a recognized option, especially with incomes and having a third or a fourth person can really help raise a kid, or give yourself more time to be alone and do your own thing and not worry that, oh, my partner's going to be home alone and board. No, they're out dating. They're out having a good time. You get to be home and do your thing, and maybe you get to go out on a date, and then they get and so I think it's just bringing more options into it. So while at the same time, yes, I see it being portrayed certain ways, and people have formed those opinions, and there's always going to be jealousy, and there's always going to be, you know, feeling left out, or things of that nature. But what we're learning, not only with CNM or conscious non monogamy, is not just to free your relationship, but open up the lines of communication. Because one thing I have learned in a non monogamous relationship, you, you're kind of like it's, it's boot camp for a relationship. You're forced to talk about your feelings. You're forced to talk forced him guys, you're forced to really express yourself and make your needs known, because if you don't, you're really going to be left behind. So it causes, at least it caused, in me, more like, Buck up, just deal with it and overcome the issues that you've you're having in a relationship, and a lot of men nowadays are being trained or told to just be quiet, do what she asks, don't say anything. You know, Happy wife, happy life. And we're realizing that, no, that's just shutting you down, which makes you less attractive to her, which is why she might want to go out and find another person. Mm. So when, when we're in a non monogamous relationship, we really have to it's even more imperative that we stand up for what we believe, what we say, what we think, what we feel and what we want. And I think that when we want to love openly, like, why, if I have a connection with you, and we're dating, and I develop just as an intense connection, but in a totally different way with someone else. Why I'm not allowed you were first, and that's it. No, let's open our mind and expand and when I can express that because I want that, like, Oh, why? Because I'm not enough, no, because you don't like going out and rock climbing rocks and being physical and challenging me, you know, with running and all that, you're like, No, I don't, not you. But, you know, the partner you're with would be like, Well, yeah, I'm not into that, but, but they are. It's like, oh, and you want to do that. Okay?

I want to bring it back to the question of, are people actually ready for this? And so what I hear you saying, Keegan, from what you just shared, is that it's not necessarily that because of the reaction of monogamy isn't really working. And I'm going to say a note on that in a moment. It's not really about. Is it again? It's not about, is it monogamy? That's not working. Is it non monogamy? That's the solution. It's more about. Am I willing to, you know, you said it so powerfully. Am I willing to stand up for what I what I want, to know what I want, and to and to speak that, and to not be ashamed of that, and to be with it and do it kindly, you know, and not this is what I want, you know, or fuck off, right? But just in a kind way that takes us deeper into creating dynamic relationships. So it's not necessarily that we're not that we're coping, you know, from like a failure of a system, we're just creating something that says, Okay, maybe, maybe it's not working because we're not going deep enough. We're not really being as truthful with ourselves as we need to be. And when you are that truthful. Sometimes the truth is very much monogamy, and sometimes it's not something to something else. And so I wanted to speak. I wanted to name something here that I don't have the statistics exactly right, but I believe it's I don't Okay, I'm not going to try to take a stab at it, but it is a very high percentage of relationships, at least in the US, if not around the world, that have experienced infidelity. I mean, if there was an epidemic of challenges in our relationships, across the board, infidelity, lying, cheating, breaking agreements, not telling the full truth, omitting key information in any way, is the killer of our relationships, over and over and over again. And so I think that non monogamy sometimes, in some cases, is used as a band aid fix for the underlying issue of not fully being willing to tell the truth, not fully being willing to be honest with yourself and with another human being, or with multiple other human beings. And so that culture, right, of infidelity, actually just being okay. And I was, I was listening to something else recently, you know, somebody talking about the realm of sports, right? And just like athletes, professional athletes, and hearing about how at least 90% of them were cheating on their partners, and it was just like a thing that they would talk about, and so much stress and health challenges because of it. And I personally, personally, I have talked to so many couples, so many couples who are in the strains of this, whether they are monogamous or non monogamous, the breaking down of agreements, of not telling the truth, of knowing what the bounds and the boundaries of the relationship relationship were, and ignoring that for your own personal gain or for some other reason, in the moment, in a moment of you know, bad judgment, or in a moment of letting the fears and all the underlying stuff right, the trauma, the difficulties that you have in having a healthy, strong, dependable relationship come up to bite you, because that's the thing. That that destroys our relationships most of the time is when things actually start getting good. There's a part of us that thinks this is too good, something else needs to destroy it. And if nothing else is doing that, then it must be me. And I'm not saying we do this consciously, right? This is a on a very unconscious level. And so I think the rise of the availability of non monogamy, and I think that's what this question is really pointing to. Can either be something that you're using as a way to get out of monogamy without right a scapegoat, or it's a really, really powerful initiation into realizing that the only option is no longer like cheating, right? There is more than that option. If you naturally feel inclined to be with more than one person, to have attraction and to want to act on that in some way, it is no longer just not allowed because you're married or partnered or something of that nature. Now it is allowed, but you gotta do your work to actually make it okay, because if you're not, then it's the same thing as everything else that's been going on. Yeah,

yeah. Actually, if you want to think about non monogamy and having more than one person in a relationship, it's like having kids in that there's another person. You have to take into account their feelings, their desires. And before, if you're having a relationship problem and you think, well, let's have a kid and that'll fix our relationship. How often does that actually work? So if you're having relationship issues and you say, hey, let's bring a third person in that's that's running away, nailed

it. I Yeah, 100% 100% agree. Amazing. Okay, so on to this next, next thought, more facts, more more stats. So now we're bringing it into the larger culture, so into the culture, but also into the past, into cultures around the world, and into the roots of how widespread non monogamy actually is, which helps us realize that this is not just like breaking free into like a new paradigm. You know, sometimes I call it the new paradigm of non monogamy or New Earth relationships. But truly, it's not new. It's really just about remembering what was always there, right? So anthropologists estimate that 83% of traditional cultures have practiced some form of non monogamy, 83% so it's actually more normal than not, like brain that

just shows you, right there. It's a cultural restriction, right? Much like you were saying about cows and whatnot, like we don't eat dogs in this culture, because dogs are our friend. They help us. We help them. So we as a thank you. We won't eat you. But in other cultures, it's dogs on the dinner table. So it's just in our lakes, in our culture, we are told no. Our religion says no to this, so that's how we'll raise you, and then you can't do that, and so that just becomes the cultural norm. But it doesn't mean everywhere is like that,

right? And I think when you say our religion, I think you're talking about like the dominate, dominating like Judeo, Christian religions that have kind of poo pooed the idea, right? And that have, in a very destructive, very terrible way, taken over a lot of our cultures around the world through, you know, through conquering and destroying and destroying idols and all sorts of stuff. So there's just one main idea about things that has been very forcibly put upon our world in a lot of ways. But that does not mean that we have lost our roots. Even today, there are some Amazonian tribes that the idea of partable paternity that a child can have more than one father is still being practiced. So it's not far off in the past, right? But it's, it's, it's, it's more deeply rooted than we think. And then, of course, the. The other beautiful factoid that even psychologists so very highly levels of degree humans that do these deep research and studies affirm that people can love multiple partners deeply without reducing the emotional quality of each connection.

Wait, let's just pause there, because that is basically saying you do not have a limit to how much love you have. You are capable of giving 100% of your love to your partner and then 100% of love to your other partner and 100% of your love to another partner. Just like you have kids, you can give 100% of your love to one kid and your partner and your mother and your father and your brothers and your sisters and your cousins, and you can have all the love for as many people as you want. We already do it today.

Beautiful. And so my question here is, what does it mean to you that non monogamy isn't a modern invention. It's not just this sprouting up of totally new thing, but it's actually a return to a more ancient, perhaps more ancestral, way of living. What does that mean to you?

Well, that means that we have quote, unquote sinned, ie missed the mark in that we have lost that aspect of our culture, that that freedom we we always talk about we want, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of the press. But what about freedom of love? I think that is the like. It goes beyond amendments or commandments or any of that, the freedom to just be and love and with no restrictions on that unconditional love. I think that is what we have lost, and that is why we are so easily programmed in that we are told, even though it's natural for us to feel this way, it's wrong. And so that creates a syntax error, if you'll pardon, the computer aspect in our brains, where we say, but this is who I am, but it's wrong, but this is what I want, but it's wrong. I'm wrong. What I want is wrong. I'm bad, and so it creates that aspect where I'm not allowed to want that. And what we're recognizing, like you said, there's even that colloquial phrase, it takes a village to raise a kid. Well, what if that is where we belong in little villages where you know everybody's name, everybody's face, you don't steal from anyone because, well, that's rashonda.

You don't lie to your partner because it's, it's a small community,

exactly. I think, I think, honestly, small communities are how humans thrive. And look at the largest cities, that's where we're the most cancerous. So I think the idea is to have small communities where we love each other, we're in love with each other, we raise each other, we learn from each other. We all know each other. Like, I like you were saying you don't lie to, well, no, I'm not dating anyone. Well, I just talked to Michelle. Yeah, you two had sex last night. Like,

who's Michelle Keegan?

It's like, kidding. You can't hide that kind of stuff when you live in a community, and whether your community is 20 or 200 I think as long as you don't go too large, and you know everyone in your community really well, like a giant family, that's what a family is. The concept of familial ties be needing to be blood, I think came out of these small villages that we'd all live in. Yeah, we're not technically all blood at first, but we all there's more than enough genetic stock, so we're not like incestuous or anything, but there is a smaller number of people. We all know each other. Eventually we are all family because I dated you and then you dated her, she dated her, he dated dated him, and we all know each other and have dated each other or live with each other. And over time, maybe a few generations. Yeah, our kids all know each other, and then they get together and whatnot. And so I think that's how blood family came about eventually, over multiple generations, we are all related to some degree. We are all a family, and the small community just points that out. And I think that's why non monogamy is taking off the way it is, because we're slowly rekindling those ancestral memories of this is this can be, this is how it was. This is how it can be again. Yeah,

I love that. And what my mind is doing is kind of connecting. You know, you mentioned big cities is where there's the most challenge, you know, the most, the most toxic kind of culture that happens there. But also cities are where we have the most people that likely you have the most people around you that are going to be interested in the same things that you are. And so taking that idea and talking about the past right and our more ancient cultural roots, when we did, potentially right, live in these villages and small tribes and communities, and we know that there's still small tribes and communities around the world. It's not potentially forgive my my syntax, and taking that and bringing it into our modern world, we don't always have the ability to go and live together in a community on land. I know there's plenty of people these days that want that, and the actual application of moving towards it and living together on land or something of that nature, or a shared communal house or something like that, is often a little bit more difficult for people to grapple with than it is to create this sense of community. What you're talking about this you know anywhere from 10 to 200 people that you consider your community, that you're developing these deeper relationships with. And I think as we remember the past, and as we bring that into the now, we are seeking ways to do that. And this is not, of course, this is not just about non monogamy or anything like that, right? This is whatever you're interested in. We are finding our communities. We are finding those ways because we are seeing that reliance on only the nuclear family, right? And on only the direct relatives of that, your aunties, your uncles, your cousins, whatever that that limits us to this very narrow idea of who we can be, because your consciousness, especially as a small child, as a teenager is shaped by the community around you, and if the only community that you're really allowed to have, or that it's normal to constantly be weaving with are people that are in your direct relative descendants are likely going to think and behave similarly, right? Because they were raised by the same two parents, you know, that were the grandparents, right? And so it's similar ideas and worldviews, and you can get stuck in this box, just like I mentioned earlier that I had this box around my consciousness of this is what's possible. And then the internet right opened me up to seeing that there was something else. And so the point that I'm making here is that I think it's so powerful when we see that community can be beyond the nuclear family, it can be beyond this point, and it can be much more dynamic. And we're finding ways for the the seedlings to sprout up through the cracks, even in our concrete cities these days.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's the point I wanted to make. Was, when we're creating those communities, it doesn't have to be a communal living on land and everyone doing, you know, their their part to live there. I'm saying you could be smack dab in the middle of New York City, and you create your own community, you find those people, not just your friends, but those people who maybe you have a chess club or a book club, or an electric bike or electric unicycle Club, electric skateboards or video games, or D and D, or just meet ups, you know, book club. You know, we all read a book and then we talk about it. You don't have to have all the same people in the same community, because, like you said, that's very difficult right now with the way we have structured things in this culture. However, the human. An innate instinct to have that community is still there, and so that's why we seek out people in non monogamy groups, or even people. That's why I think a a was so successful, because those are people creating a community of strength to help them with something, and then they go and have a community of people who challenge their intellect, and then they go to a community of people who share the same religious beliefs. And then we're having our individual communities for ourselves. And I think that's just because non monogamy is one like branch of the tree of just another form of community that we're allowed to express. And this one is a little bit more similar to how communities used to be beautiful. Yeah, beautiful,

beautiful. So one last question to just wrap everything up, tie it in a nice, pretty bow. We'll see is really looking at this is not just a shift, right? We're talking about this deep paradigm level shifting, cultural shifting, you know, almost like the tectonic plates of the earth are shifting us into a new version of what's possible. So this isn't just a shift in who we love. This is a shift in how we love and so my last question is, what kind of a world are we helping to build by practicing non monogamy, or monogamy, or anywhere in between, with intention, with care?

Yeah, that's a good question. I haven't by the way, I don't know these questions until she asks them. So that's a good one. I would say, to kind of bring things all back, is that by having non monogamy as an option in our dating pool, or how you wish to express is moving us toward more liberation, because when you start bringing in other other people so close to your inner circle, like I've used the analogy of bringing electrons in tighter or far further out creates different, you know, atoms and that's different relationships and well, no, you're a little too close. You need to be a little further out from how often we hang out, or you are so cool, I want to hang out with you every day. Can we do that? Like we're learning how to create our atom of relationship. And I think by adding non monogamy, it's it's like saying, Okay, we've had oxygen, carbon and hydrogen, and we've been using those combinations to create everything, including relationship. But what if we also had molybdenum and iron and phosphorus and gold and silver and, oh, my God, all of these other options? Whoa. How much more can we do? How much more can we create, and how much more freedom or liberation can there be in what can be created? So using this nerdy chemistry analogy, we're constantly finding more and more elements because they can fit together. And what about cohesive bonds and covalent bonds? And what about, you know, more high, you know, positive electron or positive, we're we're experimenting, and relationships are no different. So non monogamy, I think will really expand what we call a relationship. Hmm,

beautiful. Yeah, I love that so much. And I think what that brings me to is this. I think that what that brings me to is this really core understanding, and this really core principle I think of the work that I do, and of just the way that I see relationships, and people who are creating relationships and who want to do that in some way, shape or form, is that with all of these elements and all of these possibilities, i. That instead of just the limited scope of possibility you have everything you need to create the alchemy that is so true to your heart, that is so true to your soul, that is so true to who you actually are and what you actually need to thrive. And by thrive, all I mean is just saying yes to your truth and having those options, they're having that on the table, which is so so so important, because if you're missing one or two elements and you're going, but I know what the formula is, why are these elements? Why are, why are? Why do they not exist? But they do, and so we're learning that those things are accessible. And I think that this new evolution of relationship as we move into the new earth, as we detoxify from these old paradigms, old programs, old religions, is showing us that our truth is accessible, that it is right there, that it's always been there, that it's always been somewhere deep down. But now it's becoming more available to our conscious awareness as well. Yeah, and so we don't just have to, like, know it at a deep level, or dream about it, or meditate or imagine, well, someday in you know, when we reach the Golden Age and we have the new earth and blah blah, someday, that's when this will be normal to want to have multiple lovers. Or you could recognize that those elements are back on the table, or rather, that they never left right, and that they're still right here, and that you can choose them, and you can make that alchemy, and that alchemy is your sovereign heart, that is, that is the core of of this podcast, and what we talk about here. Oh, that's beautiful. So thank you guys so much for listening. Please take the time to look into the deeper article, the blog post that I'll be sharing in the show notes. And please reach out to me if this touched you, if this moved you in some way, you can find me below on Instagram or Facebook. And should you be interested in taking this into this wisdom and the deeper wisdom that I offer through coaching for individuals and couples and dynamic alchemy relationship constellations, please check that out as well, and I have that available and accessible in the way that will work for your sovereign heart and your unique expression, and I'd be so excited to have that conversation with you. So thank you so much for listening. Have a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful rest of your day. Any parting words? Keegan

in joy life,

enjoy, enjoy. All right. Love you guys. Have a great week, great day, great moment in time. MA.