Bringing Monsters to Life - Jessy and Jen’s love story
8:31PM Apr 22, 2022
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Here at Lovestruck Daily, an entire team of fabulous people help produce the show and make it happen for you each weekday and today we found out that our wonderful editor Jen has an absolutely adorable love story. And she and her husband are coming to share it with us. I'm Sarah Wendell.
I'm Alicia Rai, welcome to lovestruck daily where we bring a love story to your ears every single day. I'm in love with you. To you. I'm in love with you.
Each week, we tackle a question from the New York Times 36 questions to love and today is our day. Are you ready? Work wife I our question of the day. Yeah. All right. Our New York Times 36 questions to love question today is if you could change anything about the way you were raised? What would it be? But I think we need to do a little twist on that. And then into a positive because we don't have time to unpack our childhood trauma. Yes. Although it is very funny. Even though you and I come from very different cultures and very different locations. We had very similar childhoods
we didn't have very and we had very, I think similar parents and a lot of ways. I was so one thing I was actually telling guy the other night and he got the case of the giggles big time over this. When I was little I have terrible eyesight. Terrible, terrible, terrible eyesight. I mean, yeah, I meant like negative eight or something like that negative 8.5 or something. But my eyesight started going bad in kindergarten. And it went bad like till I was about 13 or 14. And I used to dread eye exams,
because Oh, the dilation was the worst. No, it wasn't because
the eye exam was because the parents so much that this very weird thing. I think it was partially the way they were raised in that my grandfather went blind very early. But it was mostly due to like cancer and stuff like that. But he went blind. And my grandmother also had very bad eyesight, my my mom's parents, so she had some trauma around bad eyesight. And the minute I needed glasses, and like pretty heavy glasses and kindergarten, she started crying. Sobbing like I you know, like, very upset and I got upset. I was a child and I didn't know what was going on. And I had it in my head that I was going to go blind. And that was the worst thing in the world. Now, obviously, it's not the worst thing. It also isn't what happened and I just have bad eyesight. I'm nearsighted. So I can't see things far away. But like it was not what it was. And so I said to him, I was like when we have kids, we are not going to do that whatever our traumas are, we're not going to project them onto them. No Oh, especially when it's over things that are physical and things beyond their control and things that honestly like, are not life or death in that situation. So that was my that was my little thing that I will not do to my kids.
Yeah, you know, it's funny. Mine is very similar. Really always, always communicate to my children. It's okay if you have problems. Yeah, humans are messy. I read on Reddit recently, humans are electrified horny bags of meat. I would agree with that. We're going to make mistakes and we're going to have problems and imperfection is an unattainable unrealistic ideal. And if you have problems, it helps if you tell us and we can help you you are always accepted at any state of mood. Like if you need help and your real down, come and talk to us. Well, today we have a guest she's an absolute gift to us a boon to our lives. Jen Jacobs is our editor who edits each of our episodes that you hear us and we sound polished and wonderful, which is not how we sound in real life. No, she is the reason you're listening to this episode today and every episode since we started in February, but today she is the one with a love story to share. We are so excited to hear all about how she met her husband Jesse, and how they have built an incredible marriage and working relationship. Welcome Jen and Jesse. Okay, so we're going to do as much as we possibly can to make this difficult edit. Because our editor is joining us and we we are not going to cross talk we are just going to have the best and most smooth recording because I'm super intimidated. Welcome, Jen and welcome, Jesse.
Hi, guys. Hi. Thank you for having us.
So is it weird to actually see the faces saying the words that you usually hear when you edit
us a little bit? Yeah.
Well, I learned that you have a love story and you and Jessie are here to tell us your love story. I want to hear absolutely everything. How did you guys meet?
I was in my seat. senior year of high school, Jen was a year younger than me. Still am, still is. So I had a few guy friends who were all my same grade. And one of them met a girl in Jen's grade, and they hit it off and started dating. So Girl A has a friend. And they set her up with another one of my mutual girlfriends, so that we're on the second couple. And then girl B has another friend, who is Jen's best friend. And this couple sets up her with another one of my friends. So then Jen's best friend sets me up with her. So we're a fourth generation setup. And he ended like a flowchart. Yeah,
yeah. Like a CW show. This or somebody will be in like five minutes.
Wow. And we're the only couple that is still together out of all of them.
But how we actually started dating is we were going to have our first like, date, just the two of us without our friends. Right. And that day, I thought to myself, all right, I really like her. I'm gonna ask her out when I see her tonight. And then earlier in the day before we were gonna meet, she texts me and she says, so my friends wondering like if we're official or what?
So 16 year old thing today. She
She's She stole it out from under me. I was like, Yeah, I guess we're dating.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
So what was what did you first notice about each other after all of these setups?
Jen, what do you like my honest answer? I mean, yeah, I mean, before even meeting her the fact that like someone was willing to be set up on a date with me, I thought it was pretty exciting. I only had one like sort of girlfriend before this. And it was very not good.
And this was in the day of MySpace. Oh, yeah.
So I like looked up. Her MySpace was like, Oh, she's cute. She seems fine.
I looked up her MySpace. Those are words that I have not heard in that order in many, many years. And
then a lot of our early chatting was done on AOL Instant Messenger. Oh,
yeah. Oh, yeah.
So you noticed that she was willing to be set up with you? You were really excited about that. Jen, what about you? What do you remember about meeting Jesse?
He was very polite. And oh, it was nice to have like a grip date, sort of, because I got to see how he interacts with his best friend, how he interacts with my friend. And if he could mesh if you if you want to be my lover, you got to get with my friends. You know, I mean, Truer
words were never spoken as
as the gods Say yes. Yes.
So one of the things that I know a little bit about is meeting the person you marry in high school, because I met my husband senior year, and we've been married for 22 years now. And one of the things we talk a lot about is basically growing up together. What are some things that you've recognized about, you know, achieving adulthood together?
The way communication between us has changed? Oh, yes. Never thinking that what he's saying is something that's supposed to hurt me, because, you know, you learn to avoid that saying the wrong thing, or not wanting to be manipulated. So I had to undo a lot of stuff personally, to understand like, when he says, I'm not thinking about anything, he literally means he's not thinking about anything.
How do people do that? Do you know how people do that? Alicia? I don't. I do, actually,
because I will often think about nothing. Wow. And it's amazing. How is
I know, I had to learn what atoms bruises were so I didn't inadvertently step on them. Yeah. And one piece of advice that I read that I found to be very, very true is that when someone who is important to you apologizes to you for doing something that you don't think is that big of a deal. They're actually telling you what's the big deal to them.
It's like instead of a love language, it's like a forgiveness language. Yes, absolutely. You teach yourself, you know what they need? And how do you provide that to them? Yeah.
So Jessie, what have you noticed about achieving adulthood unlocked?
Not that we ever like really fought but like we we pretty much don't ever fight about anything, which is really nice. Yeah. And it always feels weird, like talking about it and not feeling like I'm bragging.
No, you're because Absolutely not. It's
true. Even when we are mad at each other. We'll still want to be in the same room together and just like not talk because I'd rather be with her mad than like, be on my own. Here. The thing that
annoyed me but you're also the one that comforts me. I guess I'll just be with you and be quiet here. Yeah,
what are some of the challenges that you've navigated together as a pair?
Working together creatively? Yeah, it was definitely harder at first. Because Jen has always been into filmmaking. She'd done like just little short videos. And I had always been into writing. So probably what the the 48 hour was the first thing we worked on together. Yeah,
the 48 hour film project is you have to get a few elements that you incorporate into a short film and the like, you pick a genre out of a hat. And then by Sunday night, you have to hand in the movie. Whoa. So we did that for almost 10 years.
Holy cow. That's a force proximity pressure cooker. Yeah. Yeah. This podcast happens due to the awesome work of many people and the sponsorship of the people who are about to talk to you. So grab some water, and we'll be right back. Wow, so how do you manage working on creative stuff like that with your partner?
I think the biggest thing, at least for us, personally, is knowing that our creative differences aren't personal differences. Yeah. So we really have to remove ourselves from from what we think about the project. Yeah. Which was definitely very hard for a while like, Oh, you don't like this? That must mean like, you think I did that or
don't like me? Yeah. And Jessie's very, his ideas can get very fantastical or like big being the one who films and edits. I'm like, How can I go on to your idea, and it's something we can actually do a practical
filmmaker. Yeah. Which is also why I love podcasts now, because you don't need a special effects budget. You just need some sound effects. And then you can write whatever you want.
Jesse can now create monsters and do all this like wild stuff.
Very cool. So what what are your favorite things about working together?
Jen's amazing, technical expertise, as you might very well know,
we have evidence of this. Yes, we are familiar.
I'm like, I'm not sure how this is gonna go. But here's my ideas. And then she, she takes it in, we'll do something wonderful with it.
Yeah, and I would call myself creative. But I'm very practical. Like Jesse said, he still has an imagination, being able to make his really cool ideas into something that we both like, it's very cool.
On the creative side, too. Jen is really good at story structure. So sometimes if I'm having trouble, like, what I want the course of an episode to be or like, what sort of interactions she's really good at helps me like, you know, shape it up into into a good spot.
Yeah, I really like problem solving. And in the nicest way, Jesse legs problem creating.
Well, I mean, that's the writing part. And then the editing part is problems. The writing part is creating the problems.
He's like, here's this pile of stuff that needs to happen. And I'm like, Okay, let me just pick that apart. Perfect.
Yeah. What is something about one another, that has not changed, that you admire the
most? For some people, this might not sound like a good thing. But I very much mean it as a good thing. Jen is very strong willed. She's always known what she wants, and just makes it happen. Yeah,
he has always supported me in an emotional way. It wasn't his responsibility to carry that part. And for awhile, I always felt guilty because it'd be like, something's going on with my family. I was so used to just like working it out alone. But even if he just sat with me, he never made me feel like I had to be alone in it. So like, he kind of took away that that need that I have to be independent all the time. And he like cracked that shell a bit to be like, you are allowed to rely on me. And I didn't know how much I needed that until I had it. So that's been a constant from him.
Now, Jen, we have some editing questions. Okay. Because you know, behind the scenes is one of my favorite things. What is it like to edit the show? And what have you learned about love so far from listening to us and all of our awesome guests?
Yeah, so editing you guys is really fun. But you guys are also I think super good at getting like the story out of people. Yeah. And you make people feel comfortable. Oh, come and be yourself. Yeah, I keep saying to people, I don't know how I lucked into this. I'm like, I get to listen to love stories. And this is probably the best job I've ever had basically, like everyone is so legitimately nice. And like we all are working towards like a good product and I I like that.
Oh, that's the nicest compliment. They Yeah, thank you. Jesse, what about you? What do you think of Jen's work?
Um, she's great. The The only thing there was one day, early on, when she started editing this, she usually edits with headphones. At the stage, she she didn't, she must have played the theme song, like five or six times in a row. I said, I love you. But if I hear that one more time, I'm going to lose my mind.
It was just, it's catchy in small doses.
Every once in a while would be fine. But it was it was in a row in the course of like, two minutes. I was like, Please,
yeah.
So do you have advice for other couples who've been together a while growing up together?
I mean, the advice I, I think I would give people is being willing to surrender yourself to someone else. I think so often people have this like protective barrier on. But if you trust somebody with that side of you, you're gonna learn real quick if they're right or wrong for you. Yeah.
Being your real self. Yep.
Yeah, mine is going to be along those lines. Like when you're in a relationship, it's, it's a partnership. It's not just you like I still remember when I noticed, like, one day my thoughts had stopped being like, I Baba, blah, blah, blah. And it was we and I was like, you know, you you become a singular entity. Yeah.
You're a team.
I mean, yeah, you keep you keep your own identities we have or like individual things. And that was important to as a teen like we, it felt like I have to be with him all the time. That's what couples do. Yeah, it was really nice. Once we started growing up a bit and like, do my own thing. You go do your thing. I do mine. Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh, this works quite nice.
Yeah, I'm a fan of this. Yeah. So where can people find your work online? Have your links, please?
Yes. Little Giant monsters.com. Kind of has all of our stuff.
Yeah, the cryptid case is a fictional podcast about monsters, my YouTube channel, Little Giant crafts, where I craft buildings and different things.
Well, thank you both so much. And Jen, thank you for all of your work making a sound so great, full time job.
It's a pleasure.
Thank you for having us. Yeah.
Thank you.
Sarah, what is your love to go today?
I think my key takeaway from this conversation was to learn each other's languages. Learn the things that make your partner feel good and learn the things that make them feel not so good. So you can avoid those things, but learning each other's languages, helps you become more fluent in another person. Yeah.
And we would love to learn your language. So please send an email to lovestruck daily at Frolik dot media. Or follow us on Instagram or Twitter at lovestruck daily. I am so excited because Sarah on Wednesday we have a very special guest Dana Yeah, I'm
so excited for you.
He should be excited for me. I'm very excited. It's Danielle rule from Love is blind Season Two from Netflix and I can't wait for her to come and we can't wait to talk about all things pod related and nonprofit related.
I am so excited for this interview not only because you get to talk to somebody who was part of something that you love, but we get to ask questions about what it was really like. I am so excited because you know I love behind the scenes stuff. Love it. Love it. We are produced by Abigail steckler and little Scorpion studios with executive producer frolic media. This is an I Heart Radio Podcast.
We wish you a very happy ever after in every language. I'm in love with you. Love with you. I'm in love with you
