Creating Meaningful Events and Experiences - Matthew Helmer

4:34AM Aug 29, 2022

Speakers:

Julie Confer

Becky Endicott

Jonathan McCoy

Matthew Helmer

Keywords:

events

donors

people

donor relations

conversation

create

experience

community

matthew

organization

purpose

meaningful

story

nonprofit

campaign

unicorn

grew

becky

love

understand

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So let's get started. Becky, what's up,

I will tell you what's my excitement level to have this conversation with this human has been growing for probably a year and a half. So community my months and I'm just so excited to introduce our community to one of the most kind and extraordinary humans, Matthew Helmer, who, in my mind, and in my career, like have known his name have watched the way that he works. He is the OG of donor relations and events. And we you know, he has this long and illustrious career at Colorado State University been there for over 20 years before making the jump to one of our favorite companies, which is the donor relations guru. And for anyone who has spent any length of time on this podcast, we adore and love Lynn Wester she is a dear friend of ours. And when she says this one human being Matthew Helmer is my unicorn, we say, Oh, we have a unicorn to Julie is our unicorn, what if we put our heads together, and let's just have a conversation about how we can watch organizations change from the inside out. So, Matthew, I'm so geeked out to have you on the podcast today. We're so excited to learn from your wisdom and your counsel. But before we dive in, I really want to talk about who Matthew is as a human being and give you just a little bit of background into his story. He's a Louisiana native, proud alum of the University of Arkansas. And he is recognized as a talented and creative storyteller. And so I love that you come into donor relations and events through the lens as a creative storyteller. So you have put on these amazing award winning events. He's like communications and donor engagement efforts. And he just has this incredible unwavering commitment to continuous improvement which of course this community knows is our jam as we continue to just get educated all the time and level up what we know. And his philosophy is really driven by a belief that our most successful donor relations efforts are rooted in a meaningful, well articulated purpose, and that our work can and should be guided by data informed strategy. Hard stop right there. So we're about to have an incredible conversation here. And Matt, come into our house share your heart and your warmth with us. We can't wait to learn from you.

Oh, thank you. That is the most incredible warm welcome I've ever received and like, wow, I'm, I'm totally geeked out to be here. And so I'm gonna I'm gonna try to pull my my geek in a little bit. Please don't get overly excited.

It's great. We're gonna geek out together and let's do it. You're such a sweet supporter of we're for good. And we thank you so much for that. But you know, we start out these conversations getting to know like, who the human being is like, who is Matthew? What makes him tick. So like, take us back. Take us back to where you grew up these formative experiences you had that led you into purpose driven work.

Oh my gosh, well, You know, I? It's funny because I didn't intend, like most of us, right? I didn't intend to have a career in fundraising and donor relations in nonprofit work in general. I had to answer a questionnaire recently. And it was like, What did you want to be when you grew up, and I wanted to be all of these things. But most importantly, I wanted to be a school bus driver. I love to I love the atmosphere of the school bus and talking with people and engaging with people and moving from one place to another, right, it's like it's transporting people. And so I really think a lot of the school bus was super informative. It was not even a magic school bus, it was just a regular yellow school bus going down the country roads of Louisiana, right? Like, it was funny. But I think also, as I've thought about this, my family does love to party. And so I was around that hospitality, right, bringing people together, we have a large family and, and then everybody in the town becomes your family. And there's just this extension of people and wanting people to engage with each with each other and create community. And so I grew up learning that, but how I got into events was actually through the student programming board at the University of Arkansas. And I did that, because I found out that they planned concerts, and I just, I thought, well, this is my moment. I mean, I wasn't going to be a rock star, but I could be around rock stars, right. And that's, I just fell in love with the the magic that comes from events in the stories that we tell through those experiences and the community that we create, by sharing that experience with others. And it just sort of kept going from there. And, and that's how I got into events. And then ultimately, that took me into advancement and took me into donor relations. And that's where the love got, like, really deep for me, of being able to use those experiences, for meaningful moments, there's such an incredible story to tell about the change that's happening, the transformative power of giving, and, you know, how people are connected to the mission of an organization and are able to, to change the world and to do good through that organization. And I don't know, it's, it's the most incredible set of experiences we can have just being able to do that. And, and from events, you know, growing into communications, which was actually what I was formally trained in, right. I love that you can be formally trained in events. And you can be formally trained in brewing beer. There's all of the I always I kind of wanted a degree in Madonna ology, which I think was institutions somewhere at one point, but I know that you all have been talking about Enneagram lately, and I'm an Enneagram. Three, and you a Cheever, I write to you. And one of Thank you, I feel seen wanting everything to always be the best version that it can be to be the best experience that it can be. And so to me that comes through hospitality, or it comes through just understanding what it is people want to achieve, and how can I help them achieve that? And how can I actually maybe take it up a notch from what they envisioned that it would be? It's like an internal driver. Yeah, there. There's a little bit of my rambling backstory, I

love your wrestling backstory,

I was gonna say, I actually like clicks and makes so so much sense. You know, and I love this creative thread that's driven you and paired that with an achiever. I mean, it's no wonder that you have done revolutionary things at the places that you've stopped through. And I want to start our conversation because I'm so picturing you in that school bus to a little bit and you're getting all the people in their seats of this bus trying to, we're gonna talk about organizational changes. I feel like it's a big pivot from this conversation so far, but yet at the same time, it's feels connected. So when you're at CSU, we heard this story that you led the reorganization, back in 2010, they consolidated alumni, donors, university events all under one umbrella. And we know that it's going to be gotta be the messiest of situations potentially. I cannot

even imagine, like from our background in higher ed. Yeah, but

not only was it like successful but ultimately, you know, CSU just surpassed more than a billion dollar case. campaign goal early two years ahead of schedule. So it's like, how cool that you're able to shepherd that all those people on your school bus to do this. Take us back, because I feel like you're threading your creativity, you're using novel ideas for organizational change. unpack that with us. Yeah.

Wow, what a time and thank you for understanding the context in which we did this. It's, you know, higher education organizations. They're large, they're complex. And there's, there's a lot to navigate and, and drive the school bus around campus. I'm gonna stick with school buses.

I love that metaphor.

You know, I have no idea. What drove me to be this way. Maybe it was my unconventional path into the field, or just a passion for getting things right and making it better. I'm always asking a lot of questions. Why? And in particular, why not? I have this sort of well, sure. Like, let's try that, right. And I'm really don't like the status quo, I'm really anti status quo. There have been times in my life that I have changed things, for the sake of changing them, which is not a good reason to do it. But sometimes it works out okay. In that was changing things just for the sake of changing them was not what drove this, it was, you know, there were a few things happening at the time that we did this. And they just sort of collided to make this great opportunity that we were able to take advantage of. One was a series of of leadership changes in top administration. And I was already in the position of managing presidential and university events and working closely with our president and who had been our provost previously. And when he came into the role he he was asking questions, why if I have an events team, to I get all of this information from all of these different places, and it's in a different format? And the events are different? And like, Can you do something about that? Sure. I don't know what I'm doing. Yes. Okay. We also as as is typical within administration change, there was a new VP as well. And he was brought in because we were in our first campaign at the time at Colorado State, and it was not going well. And a question that he was asking all of our fundraisers is why are you not meeting goals? In the number one answer was we spent all of this time planning events and doing events, and it takes us away from from our focus on relationships with major gift donors. So he came to me and said, Here's the problem. Do you have a solution for this? Can Can you all do something about this? We have an events team. And again, I'm like, sure I write. I don't know,

try stuff. Work it out. Yeah, that's what we do. Yeah, I'm being

asked as a leader of the events team, what are the ideas to solve these challenges? Right. So centralized events, management in higher education was pretty rare at that time. So I'm looking out for I'm like, calling peers and trying to figure out who's doing this and who's doing it. Well. USC had a good program at that time. And we went and visited them and talked with them about it. But but I'm just, I don't know, naive, optimistic, overconfident at times, perhaps. And I'm crazy, like one of my team members called me and, and I said, Sure, let's do this. We can do this. Because it's going to elevate the experience across the board, it's going to make it the best version that it can be. Did I know how? Absolutely not. And I've had a lot of that in my life, not really knowing how but I can bring people in who can create the how, right who have different strengths. And, and so we did, it was not easy. We did a whole lot of things wrong before we did them. Right. Thank you

for saying that. It makes us all feel better, that it's a messy journey,

when it was such a messy journey. And building trust with people was such an important part of that journey. And every time we made a mistake, we just had to own up to it and try to get in front of it and then fix it. In you know, it was one of a few significant changes that we made in the organization that helped us get our shop on the right path. And we did finish that campaign. Early and above goal and then and then we did the second one right after that. And the one you were just referring to John and and early and above goal again. You know, there's a part of me that likes to think it's it's all because of our centralized events program, right and the experiences we're creating for donors. But I think more importantly, It opened up communication and collaboration across advancement, we created a lot of efficiencies around the mechanics of production. But in order for us to truly capture the heart of these events, to truly understand and reflect the purpose, we had to get to know the development teams, we had to get to know the culture. In those decentralized complex environments, we had to get to know the donors that they worked most closely with. So really, it ultimately ended up being a great team builder. And then, most importantly, created that consistency in the donor experience, offering them just more reliability, about what to expect from this university whose mission they believe in and want to be a part of

Bravo to you. Because it's it's such a bold move. And when you try things that have never been done before, you know, within your organization, they're just huge leaps of faith. And I want to commend you for raising the flag to your leadership, and saying, if you want all these events in these silos, donor engagement is going to suffer. And that is the great impetus for how we rise how we gather how everything in a campaign not just in a campaign, but in the culture moves. Thank you for talking about culture. And I know, we talked about, you know, the the outcome that we're all supposed to talk about, which is the dollar amount you got there early, and you raised it, but like, talk to me about the change that that led to your team, like what did that do to change the culture of how you all piggyback on each other's work the way that you uplift and collaborate and communicate? I'm just really curious about that.

Yeah. Again, not easy to to change things. And we had some difficult conversations. Internally, there were power struggles at times, there were misunderstandings more than anything. And that always comes back to a lack of communication or just miscommunicating sometimes, and we had to just put a pause it was it was a heavy volume, right? There's a lot at one point, we were doing more than 300 events a year.

Oh my God, I

know 00.

Matthew, do you know about me and events, like I am so fatigued by fundraising events, even though I know we need them? I cannot even imagine.

Oh, I mean, it, it burns people out for sure. Because we didn't have the infrastructure, we didn't have the processes, we didn't have enough people to manage that volume. And you know that that is what triggered the conversation for us around purpose and having purpose driven events. So that was a big cultural outcome. But when I think about how we got to that it was more about slowing down, and having conversations and getting to know one another as as people and having respect for the different expertise and the value that each person could add to the conversation around the table, right? We didn't necessarily know what it takes to do major gift fundraising. And our major gift fundraisers didn't necessarily know what it took to create an elevated donor experience for folks, but working together, having conversations about what are we trying to achieve? And what's the best way to get there? How do we bring forth our various experiences to this problem that helped us to be able to do it, first of all, and then the sort of unexpected outcome of that is just greater communication, even when you're not working on an actual event and a project and this deadline driven thing created these connections amongst the larger Advancement team that helped us in and I'm talking specifically about development teams and events, because we had to focus a lot there. But the only way we were able to elevate the different pieces that took that took a whole village we needed our IT folks to help us create the infrastructure to make online registration possible. I think, you know, things that we can take for granted now that we weren't taking for granted in 2010. And you know, it. We had to work a lot with the finance team because we're working with budgets from across the university, not just in one place. So lots of different conversations were spurred by this one action One of centralizing this program that helped our team and I think, by extension teams across the division and in across campus better understand one another and the types of challenges we were facing. And understand, most importantly, that we were all working toward the same goal. Yeah. And that's powerful.

I mean, I love I love several things that you said, but I want to lift and kind of take this next chapter talking about this idea of purpose driven events, because we've all been part of shocks, if you've been in development long that you're at the event thinking, why are we doing this, you know, and especially if you're working across silos, if you're trying to bring people together, like, a unified purpose with a goal is really clear, changes things. And I want to just give you the runway to talk about, you know, What's your philosophy, and now you've got a lot of using events to bring engagements that are experienced based and meaningful. But how do you center that in purpose? And just kind of, you know, share your heart on that?

Yeah, I could talk about this all day. Really? I? I mean, I've always approached the work with curiosity. And I think partially, it's because I'm, I'm easily distracted, right? And if I don't understand why I'm doing something, then I more easily lose interest. And, you know, like you said, John, we've been, we've all been in that space, we're like, why are we doing this? Right? We're planning it and going, why are we doing this? And then certainly, when we show up, and if we're asking that our guests and our donors, they're asking that to win when we're there. So the quest was enhanced when we centralized events? Because because we kept finding ourselves in that situation, why are we doing this? What does it even matter? And so we we set out to define purpose, right? For everything that we were doing, and I was, you know, this was a conversation with the people, the partners that we were working with, because a lot of them had been doing these events for decades, right? And the, I was surprised at how much the answer was, we've always done it this way.

Oh, yeah. We need to take that. Take it out back with our bat and kill it, please, please.

And I, as I've shared I mean, the status quo is not for me. I mean, it just, it shouldn't be for for all of us, it doesn't serve the donor experience. Ultimately, when we think about it, the whole point of advancement is progression. It's in the name advancement, right, we're moving the organization forward toward achieving its mission. So why should our events get stuck in the past in this obligation, and when that happens, what we were finding, even though I had, you know, just a stellar team, they could knock anything out of the park, and would amaze me every day. But we would also end up at the end of some of these events going, Well, that was great. But it also felt soulless, right, like it just lacked meaning. And I think that the first conversation we have to have about events is not when and where, and who are we going to invite? And what food are we going to serve? All of those things will fall into place? Right? Well, they won't fall into place, someone's got to be actively making those decisions. I don't want to undermine my profession care. But a meaningful experience starts with asking and answering that question, why are we doing it? What do we hope to achieve? What do our donors care about? And what do we want them to care about by going through this experience? And we have to answer those questions before we jump into the how. And that really, to me is the foundation for creating experiences that are not only meaningful to the donors, but they're of strategic value to our organizations. And once we started having that conversation, by the way, that list of more than 300 dropped to closer than 200. Because we were able to say, if there's no meaningful purpose, we're going to stop doing it. And that's a big culture shift as well.

Okay, I just had like, a mind explosion here and what you just said, because what you're saying, at least in the way I'm interpreting is we work so hard and nonprofit to define our why, like, what is that case for support? We worked so hard on the goal in the vision. I don't know that we do that with events. We there's so transactional, you know, in I don't and I don't want to put everybody in a box because there are many that are wonderful. And they are not that. But I love this heady philosophy that you have I believe in it. And I'm just really curious because I want to visualize it because I think the event experience, like, tell me about an event. Like it. Tell us about the details. Were you felt like you saw the shift? Where it was different? What was that event? And what was the turning point that you thought, Okay, this is different. And now we have a soul in this event.

Oh, okay. You're, you're taxing my memory. Now.

I'm like, Oh, here's a way I may out of left field.

But you're so right, we aren't used to asking those questions. And to, to approaching events like this. And it, it doesn't seem to line up with what we're doing overall. And what's interesting is that as much as I love events and creating experiences, I will be the first person to raise my hand and say, This no longer needs to exist. And it needs to go away, right? Because I want everything that we do to have that meaning and to, to really move people forward on their journey. That's the reason for having events. It's not to gather people or because we've always done it or because it's really fun, of course, it's going to be fun. But it's because we want to strengthen their, their connection to us, we want to showcase the impact that they are having. For me, I think one of the best examples of bringing this to life was actually that second campaign that I was referring to the launch of that campaign. So we were six years into centralized events at that point. So we had worked out many of the kinks we had retired is the polite word, the experienced sunset.

It seems more gentle, because people are like, convicted about their events, they do not want them to go away,

they don't want especially internally, I find more than x Exactly. When we, you know, the donors will go along with us, as long as we're listening to them and taking them on a meaningful journey. They're here for they're showing up for it. And that second campaign launch, just had all of the pieces clicking. We had environmental messaging, we were bringing technology into play, we were creating experiential stations, where donors could get involved in the impact that they were making, right? So we were able to take even the the results of the first campaign, what was created and bring it to life at this one and say, you know, imagine with us what we can do now, as we elevate and move forward. And so that I think was a place where purpose came to life. And it's important to me that purpose comes to life through the entire story of the event. So that environment, the messaging that they're hearing, through the reception and in their interactions with staff and students and and then also what happens on the in the program from, you know, those who speak in the video. So it's it's woven throughout, it's a thread that is constantly reinforced. And that was a place where I felt like the execution of telling that story. Why this campaign? Why now? Why are we doubling the goal? Why are we moving into it so quickly, and it's because the need is greater than ever be? What you've already done is changing lives. And think about how we can do that. Even more powerfully moving forward. The name of that second campaign, by the way was state your purpose. So and I had nothing to do with that though. I was a big fan. Love that name. Yeah, right.

I mean, I love centering this because I'm Becky and I are thinking through the some of the big events where you get to be part of and, you know, we had this example where we were working with this big consulting firm that they've drafted on paper that would have been the most epic event in history, you know, from an opera singer on stage or Broadway singer to everything

to the 9000 person multicourse sit down meal, like right, I know, I'm almost vomiting in my mouth,

but it didn't happen for a long story for a different day. But like when we had to take it back when it wasn't going to happen that way. We built it like from a grassroots standpoint, we centered the room around students in the heart of campus, it was just like, it had a soul and we're chatting via text because we're like, oh my gosh, this is why that was so different because it actually had this grounded purpose and soul and kind of the lived experience that made it better and stronger and more relevant. So I just, I'm having this awakening Live his.

Yeah. Because we even did tech. Do you remember that like we live streamed the event because we were like, Why should the 1000 most, you know, wealthy donors and influential people sit in a, in an arena for dinner and talk about this vision, we want everybody to be a part of the vision. And I feel like that's what you're saying is when you take the vision up, when you make it accessible when you democratize it, donors are going to be magnetic to that idea. I just commend you. I think it's wonderful.

Well, thank you. And I just agree with you like we can, we can razzle dazzle people all day long. But if it doesn't connect back and serve the purpose of why we're there, to me, get rid of it. There's this great concept out of Disney, about harmonizing impressions with positive cues and eliminating negative impressions. Right. So things that are detracting from the main message, and this, this happens in events, we are creative people. And we have all of these ideas. And we saw this really cool, flashy thing over here. And we want to bring it into the event where we have the budget to do it. And purpose helps center and ground us in. What's going to be that's nice, but it isn't telling this story. It isn't reinforcing. And at the heart of it, when it comes to a university is about the students and the experience that they're having and the way that they are going to change the world. And our donors understand that and are supporting that. So how do we show that to them every single time they're engaging with us.

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Well, I know we would just vibe with you on storytelling and experience all day. But for those listening that are ready for us to round this out with this backbone of data that I know you also love to using a data informed strategy. How do you incorporate that in the metrics into the planning process of these events?

Yeah, in terms of planning events, there's a lot that we can look at, right? Don't just invite everyone in your database. First of all, like, let's be strategic with who the event is for and, to your point, Becky, um, think about most of us have like a 20% return on invitations or less right there, we're gonna get a positive response. So why don't we toss out the other 80% or so and just forget about their experience, they were important enough to be invited. And then they can't come to something that, you know, we made all the decisions about? And how do we extend that to them? Right, and make it have meaning for them? What do we know about the donors and their behaviors with our organization? How and when do they give? Where do they give? Do they even attend events? Do they read our communications, those kinds of things can help us in the planning process? Number one, determine if an event is the right thing to do. And number two, start to shape the story of okay, where do we need to focus our efforts on on the impact? Can we create themes because you know, there's there's a great story to be told here in this area. And we have a audience of donors who are giving to this one area and connecting them around the fact that they care about this area and they care about supporting change through this part of our of our university rather than gathering them because they gave a certain amount, right, which has historically been what we do. And then they have nothing in common except for, you know, the checks that they wrote, which is like, what is that? That's nothing, right, that doesn't tell a powerful story. The powerful stories are in what they're connected with. I also think that the follow up is the most important part of an event.

Preach, keep going of this. Yeah, keep going here, keep going.

If we have a meaningful purpose, how will we know we achieved it, so we have to set outcomes so that we can measure and measure those. And we have to do that up front? Before we start planning? If the goal was to recognize donors, which a lot of us do events, to recognize donors, we need to understand if they feel the recognition was meaningful once we're done. So we're not achieving the goal by just having the event and recognizing them? Did it matter to them? Right? Did they feel it was meaningful? Did it inspire them to give again, to they understand the difference that they're, they're giving made in our organization? So to me, it starts by asking donors for their feedback on events, and how well we measured up to that, and not asking about the food, and the decor and the entertainment. And all of those are going to change the next time you do this anyway. So you're gonna

already get that feedback?

Yeah, they're gonna tell you that before they leave, especially if it's bad, you know, I think we need to ask questions like, did this experience teach you something new about the organization? Did it demonstrate the impact of your giving? Did it strengthen your connection to the organization to? Did it inspire you? These are more meaningful outcomes of an event experience? And once we can measure? And then we can also look at the data, right? Like, who actually participated? What do we know about them? Was it was it actually who we wanted to participate in this? What happened with them? After the event? Again, the follow up is the most important part. So were they contacted by anyone else at the organization? Development Officers in particular? Did they give in a certain amount of time after that experience? Did they attend more events? Did they stop coming all together? There's there's behaviors that we're tracking and recording through our database anyway. So why not look at them and help them shape? Not just the events that happened, like it informs what happened? It tells us how we did. But really, it helps shape what comes next? And how do we make changes that are going to better respond to these donors,

that may have been one of the greatest event pro tips I've ever heard. And I want to tell everybody why thanks. So because we've said this many times on the podcast, and event is not just an event. And if you think of it as a singular variable or a key metric, then you're missing out a 98% of the potential of what you could do with it. And we talked about this a lot. When we went through our impact ARC series, you know that there is there's a runway to lead up to the event, and then you have the event. And then perhaps the longest runway is post event and getting that immediate feedback, and doing it every single time. Not only does it help you sharpen what you're doing, it's an engagement tool. You're telling somebody I care about what you think and feel and how we interact with you. Third, it is the greatest cultivation tool ever, you could literally put a blank comment section in there, like what did you love most about it? And your donor relations team can write a thank you note based on that, you know, what do you love most about our university, a gift officer can take that follow up and ask for that story. There are so many intersections for other people to come into the event, besides the event team, and the donor relations team. And I just think what you said was so brilliant. And I would put that in your toolbox and nonprofit friends for every event that you're going to do. And it doesn't even have to be long. I think that could be like four questions, maybe five questions. It's great.

Yeah. Well, the surface should be short, right? It should be the same questions, you know, and they leave a little flexibility. There's probably one question you want to ask that specific about that event. But like, let's see, you know, what people are thinking about these experiences over and over and over again, that's another data point to look at to how many people are attending. Every event you plan, right? Like what's your turnover rate in in that can help you with the number of events you have to there's, there's so many points of data that we can use with this and I'm over here, like nodding my head as you're talking about just Oh my,

I'm like making out because I really think he even if you have virtual components, you already had people that are prone to talk to you digitally, you know, so which is so great. Okay, we could talk about this forever. But I want to talk about something that I think is the secret sauce of you. And what I think is the secret sauce of this moment. Right now we talk about this all the time on the podcast, specifically, in regard to storytelling, but the moment is so rife for authenticity, for vulnerability, for finding, like what you're so good at, and, and making sure that you lift that so it can be a magnet to others. You have that in spades, my friend, you are one of the most vulnerable, authentic human beings. You wrote this incredible article about, about the keys to unlocking your unicorn sparkle, which is just one of the greatest ways to talk about the innate thing that's inside all of us that rare star quality? And how do we unleash it for the world to see? So I want you to talk a little bit about what prompted that? And like, what does it mean to kind of release that inner unicorn in all of us?

Yeah, thank you for that. For me, I just I so appreciate you providing me with that feedback. And it can be hard for me to hear because I, I think as an Enneagram, three, as you all have heard, like, we were masks, right in each situation in order to be successful in each situation. And that resonates with me when I I heard that. And but I've lately especially been on this journey of discovering my own vulnerability and authenticity and thinking, how do I show up with that? Every day in every space and in, do less masking? I think there are many ways of saying this that we have in our lexicon, right, like being your authentic self, letting your freak flag fly. Beyonce has a new song about it cozy, being comfortable in your own skin, right? It's, for me, it is about becoming the person I was always meant to be and letting that person show up in all situations. It is the opposite of conformity. And I think that that has become an issue for us in in society, in our workplaces and communities, the pressure to conform to be like someone else in order to succeed. And I'm, I'm not talking about, like our societal expectations or our social contracts, really, I don't think it's okay to say, I'm just being me. So I'm not apologizing for oppressing you, right? Like, that's not, to me the greatness of authenticity, it's more about just embracing, rather than repressing. Those things that make us different and unique. I grew up gay, in a religious family in the South. Okay, so let that sink in for a moment, right. And the last thing I wanted to be was different. I tried so hard to be like others, but I wasn't. And I couldn't be and I'm not. And my background, and my experiences are unique to me, I have a lot of similarities with other people. But I'm the only one that's experienced everything that I've experienced cumulatively on this planet, and every single one of us are like that. So the more I've leaned into what makes me different, rather than what makes me the same, the stronger my contributions have become, to my workplace, to my community, to my family. And we all have this, we all have aspects of ourselves that we just need to discover and leverage them because it's freeing, and it benefits the world and others around us.

I mean, that was so beautifully said and, you know, we've been in Denver the last few days, reflecting on a lot of founders that are channeling their painful stories of lived experience sometimes are things that people would often uncover. And like we've been moved this week and I'm appreciate you being so vulnerable and raw here with us to because it's, it's not a scarlet letter. It's like a superpower. And you have an ability to see people and to change and make a trajectory that's different because of that. And so I think you inspiring people to do that is a really powerful positioning that we can all step into in our own situations and stories. So I appreciate you go in there. I know you're the unicorn on the team.

Absolutely. You just reinforced it and I want to find little Matthew in Louisiana and just like grab his hand and tell him he's so special and unique and gifted in what he has and to keep rocking it. So in the same way, I want to grab little Becky's hand and tell her that too, that she's struggling through her issues. So thank you for being so vulnerable.

Yeah, thank you, thank you both and, and we all need to do that, right, find that little version of us and let them know that it's going to be okay. And that it's okay to be who we are. And to lean into that. Because it's, it is what helps us shine. And we all we all deserve the chance to shine. And we all owe it to one another, to give space for each other to shine that art is important to

I feel the sparkle. So thanks.

So I mean, I feel this through our conversation, but you you've gotten to navigate your career alongside philanthropy, and I know you believe in the power of it, what's a story that has happened to you? It's about philanthropy that's really stuck with you, even though you've experienced so much in your journey.

Well, I, I've been in the business for a couple of decades, right? And, and when you're in the donor experience side of things, you get to see a lot there. There are so many moments of incredible generosity that have transformed lives. And it's always inspiring to be a part of that. And for me, it's the small acts that can be really deeply moving. And ultimately, I don't think of philanthropy as multimillion dollar gifts. I, I think of it as that Greek definition, the love of humanity, that love of humankind. There's a there's a moment actually involving little Matthew, right from my childhood, where I realized the power and importance of of love of humankind. You know, I'm, I'm only a generation or so removed from poverty. And I, as a kid spend a lot of time with my grandparents. And they had very little in terms of material wealth. And when I was younger, my older sister and I, we would spend every summer with my grandparents and we would work right alongside them in the garden at the sawmill with the animals on the farm like we were doing it all right. I idolized my grandmother. And she she was a formidable woman, y'all, she was the youngest of 13. She raised six children, she was six feet tall, she had little interest in nonsense. And I'm I'm a free spirit creative daydreamer. So, she had a firm hand and I I benefited from that as a as a child. So but I was always just attached to my grandmother and not her hip. And one of my favorite activities that we would do together is go to the grocery store. I think I loved it, because there was always hope that I might get like a push up or something like a little bit of ice cream. But it was probably also because you know, it was Louisiana in the summer. And it's like the grocery store is air conditioned. So like, let's let's do this. I mean, we're from

Oklahoma, we get it, you totally

get it, right. Y'all it's it's intense. One day, coming back from the grocery store, we we just took a different route home. And we stopped at a place that I had never been. I mean, grandfather, my grandmother got out and told me to grab this bag of groceries and go with her. And the person answered the door and and we gave the bag of groceries to the person. I've never seen this person before. And I'm thinking I don't know where we are, I don't know this person is. And then we, you know, we didn't stay long. We laughed. We were back in the car. And I like, why don't we just give our groceries away. Like, we just went grocery shopping. And now we've given it away. And I was old enough to understand that that grocery store food was a luxury, right? It was not to be wasted. And she told me simply because they needed it more than we do. And she went on to share that this family had recently lost everything they own in a house fire. And there wasn't a whole lot that we could offer. But we could provide them with a bag of groceries and that that's stuck with me. Because we may not be able to solve the entire problem. Right? But we can make a contribution that matters and we can make a difference in someone else's life and that is the root and I think the purpose I have of what we call philanthropy.

I mean, that is a perfect story that just speaks to who you are as a human. And I think that you just show up in ways through your service where you're handing groceries to others, I see that and I feel that so much in your work. And I think that's such a great challenge to all of us. Because if we can all just give a little bit more in any way that we can. And I think, just in philanthropy, we talked so much about the financial part of it. And to your point, it's not that everybody has their sparkle in their gifts to give, you know, whether it's your network, whether it's, you know, something that you can do with your time, or something that you already have. So, another great reminder of why you are the unicorn and why you sparkles so much. So, you know, we end all of our conversations, Matthew, with one good thing could be a life hack, a quote a mantra, what would you share with our community?

Okay, I know this is going to sound a little trite coming from the donor relations guy, but I can't wait. My life hack is gratitude. It is the great reset, it grounds me in in my why it helps me recenter when things are off kilter. And I think it's especially important when I'm having a quote unquote bad day, right? There's always something to be grateful for, there's a lot to be grateful for. And it doesn't have to be a big gesture. It can be small things in it could be expressing it to myself. Certainly I love expressing it to others. But even just stopping and meditating in the moment, it will, gratitude offers me hope. And it helps me assume best intent with others, it changes my mood, it changes my body there actually there is yeah, I'm no scientist at all. But there is a physical response to expressing gratitude. And it, I've seen it lift teams and organizations as well. And I think as much as we try to practice anything innovation, collaboration, we have to practice gratitude, because it changes the world.

I mean, that was that was brilliant. And of course, we should be threading that through our teams that live on the frontlines of of getting to be part of people's own generosity story. So I've got a full heart here. I'm wondering how can people connect with you Matthew, where do you show up online point is to the DRG group and the ways you're serving there too.

Well, I I'm on LinkedIn, I'm the DX unicorns so come find me on LinkedIn I I'm trying to be a little more active but you know, failing miserably at that, but my my email Matthew at donor relations guru.com I love hearing from people I'm a people person and I'm working fully remote now. So you know, my family would appreciate if if I had other people to interact.

You're such an Enneagram three which by the way is mine and Julie are unicorns wings, so we get you.

Thank you. I love being seen like that. And I know John, you're a peacemaker, right.

I am. I love keeping the peace. Yes.

Which I totally relate. I'm a middle child. So I same sees I can't wing nine but there's something's there. Yeah.

So guys, please go check out like go connect with Matt on LinkedIn. Please check out donor relations guru.com They have an unbelievable resources. I will tell you I purge and steal from them all the time. Yes, the resource library is absolutely fantastic. The trainings are evolved, there is a reason we look to this company as our North Star when we think about donor engagement. So come meet Matt, you'll understand why we love Him so dearly. And thank you so much for this evolve conversation and just spend some time in your orbit is just a gift. Oh, thank

you both for having me in this wonderful conversation that of course I don't want to end because I'm in a gaming three right now. Loving our conversation and such a big fan of the work that you do. So. Thanks for for having me here today and and for having this conversation was meaningful. Yeah. Good for us to thank you my friend.

Thank you. Appreciate you, man.

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