so I'm going to lean into my my academic side, a little bit, and also early and often share our resource, the king clinical practice guidelines project, happened. I don't know. I think it started about 10 years ago, but they published in 2019 clinical practice guidelines for working with people with kink interests. And I really appreciate the way that they defined kink. So they said, we conceptualize kink as sexual identities, erotic behaviors, sexual interests and fantasies, relationship identities, relationship orientations and relationship structures between consenting adults not accepted by the dominant culture. We specifically include BDSM, which stands for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, or sadism and masochism, leather and fetish as important parts of the umbrella term of kink. So I'm going to break those down a little bit because again, I think for folks who aren't part of these cultures or communities, some of those words you know, can can be a little bit activating. So bondage and discipline and dominance and submission and sadism and masochism frequently referred to physical manifestations of kink. So there could be activities again between consenting adults. That's a very important distinction that you know are not part of our traditional I'm going to throw another term in there, our traditional ideas of of sexual or recreational activities. And so for people who are not oriented to BDSM or kink, we call them vanilla. So within vanilla relationships, there are normative acts like, you know, sexual intercourse or having an egalitarian relationship structure. So one of the assumptions in the United States, which is a heteronormative and mono normative culture, is that folks will have some sort of binary gendered pairing and mono normativity, which is a term coined by peeper or Piper and Bauer. Or some number of years ago, assumes that you'll have one partner and that you'll be monogamously paired. And so again, thinking about relationship orientations and relationship structures. For someone who's involved in BDSM or kink, there might be partners that you have that are play partners or scene partners, and those are temporary folks that you are temporarily very connected to, and consent is a huge part of kink and BDSM culture, way back when I first got involved, it was RAC risk, aware, consensual kink. There was SSC, which was safe, sane and consensual. That was sort of that fell out of favor, because people didn't like the implication of sanism that people with mental health diagnoses, or, you know, neurodiversity, you know, were excluded by saying safe and sane and so. So now there are sort of new ways to talk about consent, but consent is really important, another thing that, again, sometimes gets missed, is that I would add unimpeded consent. And so, you know, when I came up in in King culture, like the clubs and the parties, like there were, there was no alcohol served at all, and there were no other substances permitted on the premises. And if you were inebriated or intoxicated or visibly under the influence of some other substance, you could be asked to leave, and that was for very significant safety considerations. Because, as we all know, right, there are some things that can lower our inhibitions, and so when engaging in something like impact play or breath play or even even spanking, you know, somebody's pain threshold or their ability to consent or their their perception of the risk of those activities might be altered if they were under the influence of one or more substances. And so So I realize that has changed, and I realize that there are a lot of events now that are okay with with other substances, but But going back to terminology, so sadism and masochism are also things that are sometimes misunderstood, because in the DSM, tr, five, tr, there are still diagnoses for sexual sadism and sexual masochism, I Want to make a very clear, very robust distinction, that the reason that those are in there is because they talk about people fantasizing or wanting to enact activities with non consenting partners. And so you know when in doubt, if you're talking to somebody as a counselor or as a counselor in training, and they're describing a relationship that sounds like there might be an intentional power imbalance or some kink involvement, and all of your countertransference is coming up, and you're thinking, that's not Healthy, that's risky, just just, you know, yes, get supervision, and come back down to a space of asking yourself, Is it consensual? Is there verbal, uh, affirmative, you know, affirmative, enthusiastic consent involved. And if there is what it looks like, and what those consenting adults do is not your business. You don't need to go sightseeing. Just trust that. The same way I and I use this example just because like it. It sometimes people find it off putting, but it's the same way that, you know, if you're somebody who identifies as heterosexual and you have a client who identifies as a gay, cis male, you know, are you going to go down the rabbit hole of saying, Well, tell me about your sex life, like, what do you do with your partner or your spouse? No, that would be egregious. You would never do that. Right? When it comes to working with kinky clients, there is some sort of fascination that people are like, you know, oh, well, what do you but? But, tell me about that. And, uh, and so I. Just want to I want to gently. I want to embrace that you are willing to learn as a counselor or beginning counselor, or somebody who hasn't had contact with this culture, and remember that your client is the person who is coming to you for some sort of support or some sort of, you know, facilitation and please, please, don't go sightseeing in their lives.