Kim Foong's Story: Her Battle with Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
2:02PM May 2, 2021
Speakers:
PC Gan
Kim Foong Lim
Keywords:
chemotherapy
people
cancer patient
radiotherapy
feel
cancer
day
chemo
swollen
friends
hair
normal
diagnosed
session
pandemic
point
oncologist
started
happened
operation
Hi.
Today I have with me, Kim Foong, my high school friend who have recently survived breast cancer. She will be going through with us on her experiences from the very first chemotherapy, right up to right now her being cancer free. She will be also touching on how can we care better from a loved one, from a friend, and from a caregivers perspective. And how do we support cancer patient. So with no further ado let's get straight into the conversation. So Kim Foong, it has been such a long time since we last spoke, so maybe if you can just share a little bit about your past experience like what have you been doing since, since we got out from high school, maybe tell us a little bit more about yourself.
Wow that is like so so long ago. So after I left high school. So I started my uni, okay, I was actually studying law. Then after that I started to work in sales line. Then I slowly move up to actually in the retail management category sector, you see. So the last job I was with was actually managing brands. Okay, I was actually head of the brand, and I was actually very happy with my job all the time. Okay, and I was actually very involved in sports too. So I was actually very active in hiking, gym classes and even I started running.
Nice.
Yeah, so I was actually very into health activities, things like that I was actually doing it almost every day, exercising and over the weekends, I actually joined marathon, you see.
Wow.
So yes and what happened was actually when I started to climb up the corporate ladder. I started to have less time for that. And then I started to notice what happened was my health was deteriorating. Okay, I started to have stress, things like that but it was still okay. So since I left, I was like changing a few jobs until the job that I was really happy with. But it was maybe a bit too much, especially when it comes to office politics and things like that.
Okay, so you find yourself spending longer time in the hours, longer hours in the office, and then also trying to hustle your way up to the corporate ladder. That's where you feel that you have. Also, certain things have taken second priorities.
Correct, like my health, my activities even my family, I have to put in a secondary, or the third place because within a short period in the new company you of course have to push yourself and being a person that I actually do not compete with others but I was actually competing with my own self that I want to prove myself that I can actually do it. So it was actually like what you're saying day and night working, over the weekends are working. So that was my priority at that point.
Okay, so then it was only recently, or rather last year during the pandemic you found out about what you're being diagnosed with, so maybe you can share a little bit.
So what happened was during the MCO period. So I was actually working from home, and then, oh, unfortunately, I left the job. So what happened was in April or May I can't really remember the exact date. I found a my breast my right breast was actually swollen. So I was actually very worried, because I think it was actually still MCO period where, you know, it was actually fear of going out going, especially to the hospital or clinic, and actually contacted my GP but unfortunately, his, his clinic was closed. So he actually told me to quickly go to the nearest hospital or clinic to get my breast checked up, because it was actually very huge swollen, so actually went to the nearest hospital to get it checked, and then the doctor actually gave me the anti-swelling medicine. So, after five or six days of medication, this swelling went off.
Okay.
But, the tumor was there. And it was actually quite huge.
Okay, so the swell subsided but you felt that there's still that tumor ther
Correct, i t was actually a hard tumour and then what happened was, I still do not want to believe that it was actually anything serious, I thought it was probably a swelling of lymph nodes, or things like that because you will never actually think that you are the one who have a tumour with cancer.
Yeah, and especially if you don't have a family history.
Correct. So that was in my head I was thinking, it can't be me. So, after that, after a month or two, I didn't feel good because the lump was still there, it was not going off. So I went to my GP, and then he quickly recommended me to go to the breast surgeon ASAP. So I quickly made the appointment, and then I saw the breast surgeon, two weeks later. So that's when everything was really going very fast. At that point when I actually met the breast surgeon, I did my mammogram and ultrasound.
Okay.
And then, after the biopsy report was out so it was cancer-positive at that point my tumor was 3 centimetres plus. So, doctor actually advised me to have it removed as soon as possible. Because I was actually diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer. As you know, breast cancer has different types. You know you have your ER PR positive your HER-2 and if you're negative for all you, have triple negative, which is actually very active cancer. So, I did not think much. Okay and I scheduled my operation two weeks later. Okay, lumpectomy. So, at that stage, I was only diagnosed with stage two. So what happened when during operation, the doctor will actually test your lymph nodes. So, during the testing of the lymph node, it was positive with cancer cell. So I had like 23 lymph nodes removed. So, which later on, six of it was cancer-positive. That's when my stage, increased to stage three. It was actually a very, you know, emotional journey because when I met my doctor. I was expecting a stage one, and then the next scheduled was stage two and after operation it was stage three.
So, it escalated quite quickly.
Yes. And then during the operation, in just a two month period, the tumour already increased to four centimeter plus.
Oh.
Oh, and then after that my doctor actually quickly set an appointment with the oncologist, you know to to explain to me on the treatments available. So as a stage three triple negative breast cancer patient. The only treatment available is actually chemotherapy, and also radiotherapy. There's no other medication that we could actually be diagnosed with. So, right after they made my operations I have to insert my chemo port which is actually this one. Okay, because my chemotherapy is actually in total of 16 sessions. So, if I do not have a chemo port, I have to do the insertion to my veins, which is actually very difficult. So I started as soon as after the surgery for my chemo port, I started my first chemotherapy.
So, this is something that, you know, normal layman, will never understand about the cancer patient going through chemotherapy, you know, we might seem, not like a cancer patient, we might seem normal where we go for our chemotherapy but the after effect is something that is very difficult to explain the things that we are going through it, not only affect your body it also affect you mentally. So what happened was the first two chemotherapy. I was very positive, throughout, you know the diagnosis, I was so positive, I thought that it's okay. I was still doing exercise and things like that. Then when the third chemotherapy came, what happened was, I had a infection on my operation wound. And then my breast was swollen, all the time. I was actually in the hospital to get my liquid removed every other days. So imagine that every other day, I was actually in the hospital getting needle poked to remove the liquid. It's really not fun at all. And then the infection did not go off. I had fever, and I was hospitalised again. So basically I was in the hospital for almost, like, in out for a month.
It must be very tiring. And I think mentally draining as well for you. Yeah and I think, especially doing this pandemic. It's difficult because we don't get physical support actually from family because of the constraints and things like that so maybe then perhaps if you can share a little bit more like you know what could have friends or family members help me better, I guess.
So it's very important to have a good support system. And you're right during the pandemic period, you try not to have too many visitors especially when your body is actually down. Okay. And, you know, is actually a high risk time that you know people should not be traveling. So my immune system was down, and my mother is old. So what happened is thankfully I have a very good partner. He was actually taking care of me. And thankfully, mentally I was still very strong, and I was still able to move around to something like cooking and things like that, and I have very good friends who actually sent prayers and food to me so, that was so important and my relative was checking on me. In this kind of period, during the pandemic and as a cancer patient, I don't want any pityness, all I need, was actually emotional support. And, you know, just to check on me that I'm okay. And I will try to either go on my life as normal as possible.
Yeah I guess some people do have the sense of like feeling sorry, or, you know that that pity. I guess it's very different compared to lending a listening ear or even a shoulder to just just being there, right. And so then you were earlier on before I interrupted you were talking about how, after going through the whole removal of liquid. Thereafter, what happened.
So, after going through the removal of liquid. Sadly, the infection was still there, so I had to go through another surgery to clean up my wound.
After that, I was on heavy antibiotic drips for six days. And my chemotherapy was stopped for a month. And at that time it was actually quite risky because of how active my cancer was, but honestly I was telling my oncologist at that point and I really couldn't take it. So it was really very emotional. I was actually crying a lot, because the fact that being in the hospital for almost a month, in and out like that, it was I feel very torturing, that's not a place that I want to be at all the time and sleeping at all the time. And then, even at that point, I do not even want to update my relatives anymore because it was so sad and worrying for them, that you know I was in the hospital out again. So I kind of kept it to myself and my partner and my close friends only okay. Then, thankfully after that the infection kind of went off and I started my fourth chemotherapy. So during my fifth chemotherapy, it was a different medication already, it was different from fifth to the 16th was a different medication. So things was thankfully going okay after that.
But then during my eighth chemo, my blood cells started to drop. When your white blood cell is low, your immune system is at risk. It was really low. It was a single digit, at times that I couldn't even go through my chemotherapy. So it was really sad you know every time before you do chemotherapy, you have to take your blood test.
Okay,
Yes. So, you know, after your blood test you, you already ready for your chemotherapy and then the result comes out and your doctor actually tells you that you can't go through your chemotherapy today. You have to wait another week. It was really, it makes you so down like, you know, you give yourself the courage to go there for it. But you have to turn away and it happens to me quite a few times.
Because you were told that you will have got 16 sessions to go so each session that you go you say- okay, fine. One down another one to go one down, but the problem is that you have to go through one more layer of test before you can even go further chemo session.
Correct. So, as you know, when you actually do the blood test, they actually insert the chemo port too. And you know, I'm always so scared of needles, and blood. So actually never look at how the needle actually looks like. Until you know that my last chemo, I told the nurse, now you can show me how the needle actually looks like. It's actually very long and is, is, is pointed like this, and it's quite thick. So it's something that is actually plays with your mental, because we could feel it every time when he actually was poking.
So, I actually in the middle of the chemo many times that I didn't want to give up, honestly, because there are days that I was only in bed for probably about three days. I have no strength at all. And I have no appetite at all. So, at that point, you pray for God to God to give you strength, but it was really playing with your mind. It was really down, you know, and thankfully I have, you know partner and friends, to keep encouraging me to not give up and move on. So, days goes by, chemotherapy goes by.
And thankfully, I completed it. So it was really tough. I have to say that you even when I was in treatment I tried to either laugh and joke, but deep inside you have that kind of fear. So after I completed my chemotherapy, so I had to go through my 20 sessions of radiotherapy, though thankfully radiotherapy is not like chemotherapy okay it's so much easier. So what you need to do is actually lie down on the base. Okay, and then they just do the radiotherapy session for less, most, at most 10 minutes. So all you need to do is go every day. I choose to go only on the weekdays, I gave myself Saturday, rest day and Sunday rest day so for one month. For the radiotherapy, it wasn't too bad but you actually get fatigued.
Okay,
But you don't have the other side effects, just tiredness, that's all. So I learned to pace myself, you know, if I really can't. I tell people that I can't, you know, if I need to rest. I rest. I do not want to push myself to give myself that high expectation anymore, because during the chemotherapy what I did was, I thought I was okay. I kept pushing myself until I was too tired. So, what I learned now is, listen to my own body, you know, If you can't, don't do it, so it was really happy during my last radiotherapy session. Honestly it was like a seven months journey. After that, I was telling my oncologist, okay. So tell me, what is it now, what is the outcome. Okay, so what he told me was he actually doesn't know whether the chemotherapy actually is working well for me, because my tumour was already removed. We have to wait to see.
And he actually advised me to go for a genetic test under the cancer research Malaysia. So the genetic tests will actually shows where my cancer actually comes from. So from that result onwards, my oncologist will be able to advise me. What are the prevention that I can take. I will only be need to do my PET, CT scan, or probably months down the road to see if they're still cancer cell in my body. So for now I will just have to pray and assume that I'm free of cancer. Although, everyday I still have fear. If there's still cancer cell in my body, and whether this cancer cell will actually spread. Though, even though how tough a person is or how positive you want to be. There's always this fear in you.
But has it changed your perspective towards how you live now and maybe how you yeah how you live in how you take things.
I will have to say that this really woke me up.It actually questioned me on what's my purpose in life. Before this, you you want to earn more, you know, you, you want to get the highest position. You know, but now it actually knocks me and make me think.
No matter how much money you have, no matter how far you climb, does that guarantee your life? You might be even gone tomorrow. So to me now, my purpose and perspective has changed. I would, you know, want to focus on myself more, prioritise my family more. And the people who actually meant to me.
I want to work continue working but you know the job will have to have a higher meaning, not just for profit, you know, something that I could give back to, you know, the society and people, you know to to actually give people an understanding of, you know, your, your job, your wealth is not everything, you know, for example, before this I actually never thought that I will be struck with this. And then, you will never buy, you know, your the highest interest premium and things like that. This is something that I actually want to tell people that you know it's better to have extra coverage than no coverage or the least coverage. Because without an insurance, honestly, the bill is very high, so I wouldn't actually have got into this without the insurance coverage. Okay, and a proper savings to go through in seven months to probably a year now without a job,
Mmm.
So moving forward, I would like to, you know probably give some talks about my experience as a cancer patients.
Cancer survivor!
Yes, you're right cancer survivor, no more on the patient, okay, yes, cancer survivor, to open up to people. You know what actually went through, and you could actually overcome it, you know, and whatever comes, keep an open mind. Have faith, and you know surrender yourself to God, that whatever comes, you can fight through this.
I think this is such an important information or knowledge for me at least, because I think being a friend, or even being a family member. When you hear of somebody who has or had cancer. I think it's also very difficult because the people by your side, do not know how to give you that support. And the last thing that we want to do is for you to feel as if we are feeling sorry or pity because I don't think that is at all what we want to want you to feel or you know have that burden on to you as well, so maybe Kim Foong, just coming back to, you know how else can people beside you, help you through, you know, rather than having to carry this on, on your own.
I think what my friends, family has been doing was the right thing. They do not check on me everyday, which because I need my space, you know, I need to feel as normal as possible, but it's very nice, off and on people will just ask you to go out like normal, or just come and visit you like normal. Sending you, you know things to cheer you up, you know even prayers and things like that. It's actually good enough, and you know, just like now, given me an opportunity to have a talk. That is that kind of support that I want. I think most of the cancer patients would want, you know, to share and to feel that we can be normal again.
Yeah, I think that is, that is the key word is to feel normal, although you have got all of this coming at you but I think the sense of, it's okay, it's all going to be okay. I just need people to not behave differently around me.
Correct.
So you know when people cry in front of you, that makes us even worse because we are trying not to cry so much, you see. So when your family or friends start to cry, even we ourselves do not know how to console them as we are hurting, and you are hurting, and we start to worry about, you know, you too. So, we prefer, at least myself I prefer laughter.
Absolutely, yeah.
I prefer laughter, you know, if I can, I have the stamina. I'd rather go back to normal activities, but I'm taking baby step now, but I'm happy like my friends are starting to call me, you know, but they are very considerate, you know they won't expose me to crowded areas and things like that so you know we go on hours that are less people, places that have less people but we started to meet up like normal, and even in, because before this I was actually doing my Masters, so I stopped during my operation. So, in July, I'm going to resume my Masters again. So, and then slowly on maybe I will start with ad hoc jobss and things like that. So yeah, so I think that, you know, after my hair started growing back. You know, I will feel more normal, because.
Okay, another thing I did not mention, you know. During the.. when I was diagnosed, I thought that losing hair was fine for me. I was very proud to tell my oncologist- it's okay. So what happened was during the second chemo, my hair started to fall off. Okay, that really hit me, because it did not fall off, like all together, it was chunks. And the chunks was so depressing because it's starting to fall off chunks here, chunks there. And it was all over your body. That was really depressing. So that's another thing I would like to advise you know cancer patients, you know, try not to go through that phase, if it starts to fall off it's better to start shaving it off so you don't need to go through that kind of trauma, you know after I shave it off. I felt so much better because I don't need to have hairs all over my body. It was so sad.
Yeah, to see it fall off, and you don't want to go through another session to see it fall off again so you might want to go straight to removing it completely.
Correct, yeah. Maybe one of another time or things like that. I don't even mind to show my picture of how it was like it was horrible, I look more like a sick patient than I was, with bald head. You know when you have patches of hair herea and there and you really look like a sick patient and that is not something that you want to look at yourself.
When you're bald is fine. It gives you that kind of freedom to be bald. And then after you finish your treatment. The second thing you have another fear you will have is: is your hair gonna start growing back? It will, it will start growing back. It's just a very slow process. Okay, and now my hair is you know, a bit longer. Okay. So, every one is different so some people will have, you know patch, start with patches first, or white hair. And mine is slow, short, but it's not patchy, so I'm very thankful for that. You know when my hair start to grow a bit longer. I think I will stop wearing head gears anymore. And another thing is, when you're going through your chemo, you have, you know, chemo fingers, where you have black nails like this.
Mmm.
Okay, this is a side effect of chemotherapy. So it's also okay. And, you know side effect like chemo brain, which you have, you know, forgetfulness. Yeah, just a accept it, don't strain your brain. You know I can't remember a lot of things nowadays. But you know I try not to push myself, but I started to read, to keep my brain to to function.
I think by walking me through your experiences. You know what to expect after the first session and a second session, how you feel. I think all of those are very important for for caregivers for family members for friends, beside you, because I think we do feel helpless as well, but at the same time, we don't want to be an additional burden onto you because you know you are fighting your own battle yourself so I think this is a very good session, and it's very informative. I think for people who is at the sidelines like cheering you on. So yeah, thank you very much for your time Kim Foong.