This is here we go. All right, it's Friday. And there's a lot going on, it seems as though I'm really excited to tackle the topic of, of this, because I think when, when February starts to roll around, we kind of lose momentum. You know, so we we built, we built things up, we built momentum up when the first of the year came around, and we made promises to ourselves as far as what we were going to do and what we wanted to achieve. And then February came and you're like, Oh, I didn't, uh, when I did get the things accomplished, that I wanted to get accomplished, as per my January list, or two, you're already exhausted because of your January list, you know, or, you know, there are other things that have sort of crept in, you know, that are getting in the way of us achieving what matters most to us. You know, it could be, it could be things like your work, it could be your work environment, it could be just your mental state, there could be a lot of things, you know, behind this, and this is why I wanted to tackle the topic today. So thank you, everybody, for joining me. And as usual, if you are new to this chatter, you haven't been here in a while, be sure to let us know in the chat itself. So what I'd like to know if you put this into the chat for me is right now what is getting in the way of you achieving some of the things that you want to achieve? Not necessarily big, giant goals, but even just the small ones? You know, the small tasks even is it you know, are you tired, you know, 's work pressures getting in the way you know, you're you're stressed or overworked or underpaid? You know, what? All of the above? You know what's happening with you? Yeah, Jason, I'm so hear you all of the above. Other people's schedules, right. Their lack of planning has suddenly become your emergency. Right. What else you guys got going on? And of course, if you want to come if you want to come off Mike and discuss it, you can do that too. feeling stressed in Yeah. Being pulled different priorities, different people pulling you? Yeah, a lack of energy. I hear you, Heather. I'm kind of I'm kind of there. Right now. There's a lot going on. And I just find every day I wake up, it's like, oh, I need a bigger cup of coffee. My day, every day. Yeah, last year is hurry to get things done. But then a lack of right, hurry up and wait. That hurry up and wait mentality, which just seems to frustrate me too. Alright, so who's Jennifer, go ahead.
Hi, happy. Hi, happy Friday. Um, one of the things that I'm struggling with is I had a plan. I'm a planner, I love lists. I know you're a fellow list lover. But I had it all figured out like last August and September. And then we've got a whole new crew in our team who don't have the basics that I've been teaching other people for the last few years. So one of my struggles is like, now I seem to have to swim lanes, right? So do I do a reinforcement of those who've already heard my and are sold hopefully on my on my bid? Or do I and then do kind of a second swim? Like I have to like rework all my activities, and it's like, how do I get everybody to where I hope to be by the end of this year? So that's a big struggle for me. Yeah,
yeah, I can I can understand that. It almost feels like you're going back to square one
right? For a part of Islam. So how do you make that happen? Yeah,
yeah. And that can be overwhelming. It can be frustrating. It could be a whole whole host of emotions, you know, attached to that a lot of baggage if you will attach to that. And Becky shoulder surgery. Oh, Becky, I hope you're doing okay.
Thanks, am I'm doing way better. I actually, I don't have a I don't have a sling on today. So that's exciting. And I get to do physical therapy next week. But I just I feel like it's become more of an excuse than I should be. I should be wanting to do more, wanting to get up in the morning, have exciting things going on. I have a lot of reading to do. And I just like, oh, I can't write with one hand. Well, now I can write with two hands. So,
right. So the excuses gone, the excuses been taken away. Sadly, yes. That's now time to find a new one. Yeah, if you're like me, it's like, we're setting new excuse that I can use. Well, first off, congratulations. I'm glad that you're you've got progress. So yay. You know, jazz hands for that. And I think, you know, a lot of us have probably been in those shoes. It's almost a habit, isn't it? So if you've got some sort of physical something that's getting in the way, you you sort of lean on that. And then it becomes a habit for me to be able to say, I can't do it because of this, or I can't do it because of that, you know, and then there's like, oh, how do I break that habit? How do I break that? You know, self talk? You know, and I think that could be part of it. You know, for all of us. I think, you know, we've all experienced that. Eric, I thought I saw your hand did I not?
Know I was clapping that Becky's human? Sorry? Well, there's,
here's a question for you. One of the questions that I had was, what do you consider and I'd like to level sit here. And go ahead, please speak up? What do you consider to be the definition of the term self motivation?
Guess I'll go ahead and just with mine, if that's okay. For me, being self motivated means that I will take the initiative, whether anyone else does or not. Right, I'm not reliant on anyone else to be motivated to do a certain task or do a certain thing or have a certain goal. So, um, yeah, that's kind of my definition of self motivation. Okay, that works for me.
Are we? Anyone elevation means you can turn yourself on.
yourself on. Yeah, you
don't have to wait for anything. Or anyone or any place. You just turn yourself on. It's kind of like, being a whiz. Can you see this? Oh, yeah. Okay, is
it a Mickey? It's a Mickey wizard.
It's a Mickey Mouse. The Wiz? Yes. That's what we have to. That's what we have to imagine ourselves. Be a whiz.
Be a wizard. Oh, I like that. I like that idea of a visual representation of some sort. You know, I think that's good. I think that's a great tip, that's a great tip, start out with some sort of positive visualization, you know, to get yourself going. And in the in the chat there, I posted a quote by Tony Robbins, about self motivation, and it aligns with what you all are expressing right now. Which is, which is great. So we can all sort of talk at the same hymnal, if you will, you know, about what self motivation is. And actually here is. Here is the article that I pulled that from. And it and he's talking there, in this particular article about some of the things that we can do, when we just aren't feeling it. You know, and how we can help ourselves. And I think Dr. Bob, that's one tip is sort of kicking back. And just having that visualization. either have a person a place a saying, whatever it is, that's going to get your your mojo going. Because that's the place that I wanted to start from, is, a lot of times we say things like, well, you know, have motivating music, and I'm all about the music, Jason knows that I'm all about the music. And go out and take a walk. That's great, too. But there's got to be something that kicks it off. Right, if I'll go back to you know, what you guys were talking about earlier was like, you know, how do I even get myself out of bed sometimes they just stay in bed. And you know, so what I want to start from that point, which is when you think about self motivation and getting yourself up and getting the job done and getting through the task list. Sometimes just thinking about Alright, I've got great jivi music happening in the background. Maybe that's not happening. Maybe that's not working for you. So where do we start? I'm curious as to what you guys think about that. Where Where do you start?
I think you look at what's worked in the past. And pick something that seems doable now. And engage yourself with it. This is not something to sit around thinking about or wondering about. This is let's do it. Let's get on it.
Let's get out. Let's do it.
That's right. Do something.
Do some of that internal pep talk. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, I
need I need to get myself started by doing something that I enjoy. I mean, yes. That's obviously no, that's part of why I'm doing what I'm doing is because I enjoy it. I'm not in corporate anymore. Hurrah.
Yeah, and you know what, and I wrote that down. And I'm glad you said that, Becky, because I wrote that down before I jumped on our call today, which was about finding something that you enjoy doing first, which is kind of an I see your hand Erica, so I'll get there. It's, it's kind of counterintuitive to what I've read before about productivity is, you know, you've got to, you know, eat the frog, right, you got to do the things that the small bits are put, do something that maybe is not something you want to do get that out of the way first, and then you're kind of molding motivating yourself to move forward. And I think that there's a certain truth to that. But I'm kind of in Becky's corner, I think at first, I've got to do something that energizes my brain, or energizes my soul first, and then I can move on to the ugly bits. No, so I'm with you on that one. Becky. Becky, Erica, sorry.
We all have things we want to share. Two things came up. For me one is a personal sort of life lesson that inadvertently taught me I think, how to be able to not have the tools and the resources that are supposedly supposed to help us to be organized or efficient and productive, become so overwhelming that they actually now feel stifling. So my mother has always loved task lists. She, I mean, she's got pads of paper all over her home. I mean, I do too, but she has got pages and pages of to do lists. And there's a certain there's been times in my life when I've listened to her. And when I've seen this, and it feels like it's become crippling, because she's logging so many things that she thinks that she has to do, that it's now like it has become her nemesis and being able to actually move forward to be able to feel like she's having some sort of progress to feel maybe even any joy, and the things that she does get accomplished. Because she then always has this anchor of like, but oh my gosh, look at all this I still have yet to do. So I have somewhat of a stewed the idea of of really rigorous task listing. I mean, I still have to do it. And I still have some reminders. But I I don't know I put some breathing room in there. I give myself a lot of space. So I think one of the things for for maybe internal joy and spark or whatever is that self motivation is recognize what works for you. And lean into that. And whomever is considered a thought leader or whomever is espousing that we're really successful are billionaires, you know, are billionaires because they do these three things every morning. I mean, but maybe that's not what you need to do. Maybe that's not your self motivation. The second thing that came up for me, Shannon, my team is making a very concerted effort right now to be able to grow and to become better at accessibility and universal learning. And I sat in on to a webinar and the presenter had hearkened back to I guess, a marathon term of couch to 5k. And the idea was that in essence, I guess when people start and they want to if they decide that they want to run marathons that what is like that initial step to get you up off the couch. And so I think even in self motivation, and I think somebody mentioned in the chat, yeah, meow meow said take any action. I think also then that I think it's about permission as well, about any action that makes you feel that you have motivated yourself is then good. And then do that. Give yourself grace, acknowledge that instead of being like my mother and going to crap, look at all the eight umpteen pages have to do tasks that I have yet to do.
Listen, no, I am very much with you very much with you on that they're coldly agree with everything that you just said. So before I jump on some sort of soapbox here, I'm gonna go ahead and let Connie, share her or share her thoughts. Oh, can't hear you.
Sorry about that. There you go. So it's a thought and a question. So when everyone was talking, one of the thoughts that came to mind is, you know, when someone has experienced a devastating loss or experienced some tragedy, oftentimes, they've said, like their kids have been what have helped helped them through, the only reason they continued on was because, you know, because of their kids, or whatever, you know, that kept pulling them into the reality of life every day, and kept moving them forward. And I don't have kids or anything, but the one thing I know that sometimes has helped me to continue on, is one of the strengths. One of my core strengths is responsibility. Now, right now, I'm completely overwhelmed with responsibility. And I'm trying to push some of that back. I mean, in fact, I asked the other day, I texted my boss and said, Can I quit? It's just I'm done. You know, it's way too much on my plate right now. And, but that is one of my strengths. One of my core strengths. And I just wondered if that is a part of me thought, well, maybe that's also a little bit of a self motivator for me. You know, when I almost died back in 2014, I, one of the things that I started doing was, I came out of the hospital, and I started walking, and not a lot, but I started walking, it's kind of like getting off that couch that Erica was talking about, I think it was Erica. And I, one of the quotes I started saying to myself is something is better than nothing. So I may not be able to challenge the whole task list. I may not be able to challenge, whatever. But is there something I can do? Even just one thing, that one action that we had that Erica mentioned, and I forget who actually posted it. But um, but for me, I'm, I'm thinking maybe some of my self motivation comes from some of my core strengths. The things that I don't know, it's just a thought that came to me.
No, I think, go ahead. Dr. Bob.
Erica said we should eat dessert first. And I think yes, when you're looking at a table of you know, all the things you're going to have for your meal. That's equivalent to all the tasks that have been lined up for you that you've lined up yourself. And it's such a fabulous idea to take the thing that you will get the most gratification from, and it's not a big, long drawn out thing, but take that and do it. And things will just start spilling out after that. Because you've created so much excitement for yourself.
I like that. I love the concept of eating dessert first. I really do. And I I love the energy that's happening here. And, Connie, thank you for sharing that. I appreciate you putting that out there. And let me say that I don't know what happened to you in 2014. But I'm really glad you're here with us now. So let's Say that. And I, I really do believe in finding the little I love the idea of finding just something small to do. It's sort of a momentum builder, isn't it? Is I can do this. Okay, I did that now. Now, let leads me to this. And it goes to, I think, a little bit of Erica's comment which I used to be that way. As a matter of fact, I'm in the middle of moving actually right now, which explains all of this in the background. And I found an old Franklin planner of mind. I don't know if anyone remembers that. And I still do, I still kind of abide by those concepts, even though I don't use a physical planner anymore. And that sucker was like, so thick, with notes and lists and everything else. And when I opened it up, I almost wanted to close it again, because it was so overwhelming to look at. But one of the things that I learned from Franklin Covey back in those days was the concept of chunking out your to do list. It's so I almost have two lists, I've got like the big projects that I'm working on, such as like the, the Sunday spark idea that you guys have seen. So that was a big thing that I was working on for you guys. But it was if I had put that on a to do list that would have been really overwhelming, you know, create a spark initiative. But what were the smaller bits for that the smaller bits were well, do I have 52 ideas? Well, do I have to have 52 ideas? Or can I get away with, you know, eight? Can I get two months rolling rather than a year rolling? So how can I how can I chunk that down, and then made that project seem less overwhelming. And I think sometimes to your point, Eric, because when we write those to do lists, we write everything, and we keep it so big, and it feels overwhelming to try to tackle. So if we can put it into smaller things, and to counties and everybody else's point is if you can do the small things about that project, things that you like to do first, then it makes it easier for you to complete that project. Right. And yeah, so Jason, I think it goes, I see your comment there. So I'd rather do the reports sometimes. So I think one of the things that I wrote down and as you guys were talking was know yourself. You know, no, no, you and so if you are, you know, the if you are Jason, you know, I want to dive into this type of activity first versus this type of activity first, then do that. You know, because and I realize I'm going a little bit, I'm talking a lot here. But one more thing. Let me bear with me. One more thing, is another big project that recently that you guys also know about that we completed was the l&d Happy Hour podcast with Brent, right, I wanted to do something different. I like what we're doing here with the coffee chat and the Coffee Chat podcast, but I kind of wanted to do something different. And we're so we're having these conversations. And interestingly enough, one of the conversations that we talked about last week and the podcast is sets posted is kind of doom scrolling through LinkedIn. You know, and some of the things that becomes a demotivator is when you see all of these people who seemingly have all of these success stories about how they wake up at four o'clock in the morning, they read a book, they they read three miles, and they actually start a whole new business all before 5am And it kind of makes you feel like what am I doing with my life? Right and so I would encourage us not to get too sucked up in comparing yourself to what's happening online with other people because you got you have to know yourself. So I'll just leave that there. And let's see as I go through the chat here, putting things on official on an official to do list right instead of post it notes right now and just post it notes around your monitor. You know, and in packing up my office last week I found a lot of faded out post it notes. It's like oh, I guess I never got to that was See? How to Identify your values? Oh, I think thank you for sharing that, Heather. Yep. And one of the one of the other items here that I found that I wanted to share with you, and I'm gonna let you guys I'm giving us a couple of moments to read this is this self motivation, kind of quiz that came out of Mind Tools. So I want to give you a couple of moments, it looks like it's, it's 12 questions, but they're all yes or no type of thing. So I'm going to give you guys a couple of minutes just to take a look at it. You don't have to complete the quiz, which is about a little bit down the page.
And what is going to lead you to understand is where are your success factors when it comes to self motivation? You know, are you all about, like self confidence or positive thinking or focusing on strong goals? Or do you need a motivating environment? You know, yeah, I'd love my tools to Becky. So I'm going to I'm going to give you guys a minute to read and to complete this and if you finish before I start talking again, that give me a thumbs up in the chat.
Right, how you doing?
All right. Anyone want to share? How do you feel about the results?
more positive than I feel
more positive than you feel. Okay.
I was doing so well. Yeah,
I agree with it.
Okay, all right. I'll put a pin in that because I haven't thought about that. What? What else
I actually am not doing as well as I thought I was. So I had the opposite.
What are you gonna do about that?
Well, look at you guys turning the tables on me. What am I going to do about that? I think I'm going to take my own advice here. I need to I need to tackle smaller things and be more positive about the direction that I'm going in. I know that I've got like I said, I'm in the middle of moving. I still have work that I need to do when there's a lot happening. I need to I need to unravel a little bit of that. I also need to take more time for myself. I think mentally I'm a little stressed.
Erica, earlier someone said I'm trying to see who it was now they could probably call out. Talked about being kind to yourself who was that? Somebody?
I don't know. But that's a theme. I know I say that a lot. I say that about being kind to yourself and giving yourself grace. And it's I don't think I've done that for myself lately. I don't know How'd you guys like I said, it's February, right? We tend to put these pressures on. And
there is a lot of pressure I, I just think. I tried to think like, what is the result of myself? Putting all that pressure without being kind to myself? I mean, what good does that do? Does it really helped me? No, no. So what what will help me and that's just being gracious to myself, and recognizing do what I can actually an old saying that a friend of mine gave me years ago. And I remember who it's from, like who originally said it. But today, I'll focus on what I can do not I what I can't do. So I get what, I may not be feeling great today. I have I mean, so far, that's actually what's gotten me through my doctoral program at that point is the fact that I mean, I, it's not like, I'm some great writer, and I'm, in fact, I'm stumped right now, completely. I can't even figure out I have a major mental block to writing. But, you know, it's like, one day at a time, I'll focus on what I can do. And we'll see where it goes. I I've learned to accept I'm not perfect, by a longshot, in fact, but that's okay. And I think that's an important place to come to.
It is absolutely, Erica.
I think Connie was actually tapping into what I was thinking about and probably said it much more beautifully. I was thinking about maybe part of the things when we look at what motivates self. And again, what what is that thing that we resonate to? I try to, you know, reconnect with that idea about what can I control? And then, you know, like, kind of what Connie was saying, like, you know, what is what am I capable of doing today, because some days we may feel stronger, or more peppy than other days. And sometimes I think with the To Do lists or the tasks or when we're feeling that pressure we start to put on and it weighs heavy on us the things that might be out of our realm of control, or we are we claim that we've got to do something about it. And it's something that may be too large. And what I mean by that is not that, you know, we can't take on large goals, but maybe it's out of our realm of control. And if we put too many of those things within our purview of like, what I need to do what I want to do what my goal is, maybe that becomes almost self defeating. And that could actually maybe deplete that self motivation, because maybe we're not focusing on on self, what is it that I can do? Like Connie was saying, What am I able to do today? And I'm gonna focus on what I can do, not what I can't do.
Mm hmm. Absolutely. And it goes back to an eye view, y'all have been around me long enough that I am a real strong believer in positive self talk. I think we spend a lot of time telling ourselves, what we aren't able to do. Where we fail, where we fall down, we were really good at revisiting those emotions. And I think if we spend a couple of moments even before you get out of bed, right, when you're in bed, and you open up your eyes, and if you're like me, you hit you hit the snooze for the 10th time. And it's okay, what's the positive? What's the positive thing that you can think about? For yourself in that moment? And it could be something simple like, Hey, I woke up today. You know, I didn't pass away in my sleep. Okay, that's a win. Now, let's, where can we where can we go from there? You know, so it's, I think, if we can structure a more positive environment, more positive thinking habits, I think, then we will see ourselves be set up for success. Right. I woke up on the top side of the grass. I haven't never heard that before. But I like it. I like it. Yes. And, and when I was reading through the list from Tony Robbins, and I have to admit, it's been a minute since I've looked at Tony Robbins stuff. And there's a couple of things here that I can resonate with. And in particular, and I'll put the link to this article again in the chat for you guys. There you go, in particular, is number seven, where it says look to the success of others. And again, it's not to me it's not about that doom. scrolling, it's not finding, you know, getting yourself defeated by what other people are doing. For me it was that meant connecting with other people. And so I have Chris Cole DiNardo, who has been a guest of ours in the, in the past, Chris and I talk every single Tuesday, every Tuesday, we have a standing meeting. And it's just to she's working on things, I'm working on things. It's not really an accountability coaching type of thing. It's friend talking to friend, you know, and she motivates me in certain ways, I hope I motivate her in certain ways that we can just keep the things that we're doing going and feeling good about each other. You know, and I, and I think having that person or persons, you know, that you can talk to that you can relate to and even if it is on LinkedIn, let's say you maybe there's somebody that you follow, that's a real motivator, and maybe you check in with that person in the morning. What are you know, what are they saying that's uplifting to you? Right, so I really, I really connected with that. That when number seven look to the success of others. Yeah. Let's see. Yes, eat the elephant, eat the frog one bit at a time all those good things. And I also you guys know that I'm also big number two there, find your why what's what's the reason for a lot of the things that you are doing, right, you got to find that why? And I think that that's energizing and motivating here. What I'd also like to ask you about is how do you reward yourselves so when you do when you do good things, and you've completed a great project or even if you've completed your your your little task list for the day. How do you reward yourselves? Tacos? Yes, thank you. Tacos
leave the house for a meal with friends
I'm going back through the chat here. I woke up on the top side of the grass. Jason as long as you're not waking up in the front yard. Yeah. Thank you to my 20s play in the craft room. Yeah, yes. So reward yourself with an activity. I liked that Victoria
Do I hear an example from Victoria,
oh, what my crap so I make my own cart my own greeting cards and I scrapbook. So I have a whole room in my house dedicated to crafting and that's my way of escape.
Lee that is so interesting.
I started it I started crafting when I was 14 and there's a several decades there.
I guess I love the idea of creating your own greeting cards. Your friends and family must really love that.
They do. I wish I had more time for it. I'm looking forward to getting more time back once school is over in Des Moines. Yeah,
yes yes. Go get a latte Connie is yes, I'm with you. I go down got myself a there's a Starbucks like a quarter of a mile down the road. I've done that. It's like okay, I deserve a good coffee. I'm gonna go grab one. Yes. What else you guys doing? Think about this. And I sometimes we don't even think about it. We don't we don't take that step. Let's see Leslie. Weekly Taco Tuesday grew to different Bunko Bunko. I haven't thought about Bunco in inches. I love this. So Bunco group so you can connect with other professional women mothers, empty nesters, etc. That is that is really great. So Leslie, if you don't mind, talk to me about that. So what does this Bunco group bring to you?
Sorry, I got very energetic dogs happening in the house here. Oh, that's okay. They're laying down right now. So let me talk quickly. Yeah, I am definitely an empty nester. And the daughter is like totally taking care of herself. Mary doesn't need me anymore, right. So there's a little bit of oh my gosh running. And so when I get to sit down with everybody and listen to their stories, what's happening, their drama, I'm like, Oh, yay, I don't have that drama. So that's always like, and then, but it still helps me connect with everybody in the world, right? Not just my coworkers, but you know, people in my town, you know, they all think about the community and what's happening. And so I get some inspiration. And then also that whole part about Yeah, it's not happening to me. I'm good right now. So that's what Yeah, I just love that I love like the social club, kind of a thought for a reward. Yeah,
absolutely. And I think that that's what feels a couple of different things. You can correct me if I'm wrong, Leslie, is that it's, it's so shared stories. It's the shared positive environment. It's the supporting each other. So those groups are hitting a lot of tick boxes, when it comes to helping you feel good. And motivating yourself to maybe, you know, keep on keepin on, I'm an empty nester to two kids, both of them, they're gone out of the state don't even need me. You know, I had one, I have to always send him a text message. Call your mother. I'm still here. You know, so there's that. So? So yes, I get that now. It's it's a whole different way of approaching what you've done. Right? Yep. Sounds like my mother. I try. Yes, yeah. So thank you for that, Erica.
I was, I think Connie put something into the chat that I thought was very profound. And I was wanting to call that out to see maybe if we could focus on that, because you're in, in talking about the environmental conditions, I think it's important to to recognize that the people who are within our environment, whether they be the family, or even peers, their perceptions, their struggles, their difficulties can impact our environment. And we may be sometimes take on their perspectives or their I mean, I don't mean to sound woowoo here, so I apologize, but take on their energy, and maybe it's not ours. And then that could color our self motivation. And so I was just, you know, Connie, I'm not sure if you wanted to share more, expand more. But I thought it was really profound what you were talking about, because that seems to be a constant part of your environment. How do you like work to try to create that balance, so that that doesn't constantly impact you or take you down? Yeah, it pretty much
impacts me every day. And that's the reality of my life, I choose to, I chose to take on that burden. I didn't feel like anyone else in my family really understood the burden of my, what my brother experiences, he was injured in some way. They don't know if he had scarlet fever, or if it was a vaccine injury or what happened when he was 18 months old. But it totally changed him for the rest of his life. It was a normal, normal child, toddler baby. And then he totally changed. And it became very fear oriented, negative oriented. He ended up self medicating as an adult, became an alcoholic for 30 plus years. You know, just a very negative. And when you're in that mindset, it's very hard to get out of that. It's not an easy task. It's a daily task. And he fortunately, about 12 years ago, he finally achieved sobriety. And he came to live with me again, because I had had to have him leave for a period of time because he wasn't sober and I couldn't, couldn't deal with it in my home anymore. So, but he's been live with me for the past 12 years again, because he's not able to take care of himself to that level of maintaining his own life. And I don't feel like the rest of my family really understand it, because they didn't grow up with him, per se. I mean, I come from a family of 10. And I'm the youngest. So he's the next age up from me, I and I've always to be honest, I think I ran away from that burden when I was a kid because I felt that burden already. Like I was going to have this burden the rest of my life and to be honest, as an adult, I am not always thrilled at having it. I you know, it wasn't the way I wanted my life to be. So every day I deal with that, however, one I feel like my faith in God, my relationship with him makes a huge difference for me. But also the fact that I I have to choose every single day how I'm going to deal with life. And I don't always succeed, I really don't, it impacts me greatly. There are days when, because he literally sits here most of the day and does nothing. He just is not, doesn't have the capacity. And that affects me to have that happening in my environment. However, I still have a choice every single day. And so I'm learning to make that choice for myself. How am I going to deal with life? And what can I do today, to focus on today to get done today? For me? And for us, my home? So anyways, I don't know that it's profound, but it's, it's my life. And that's, oh, I feel like I need to deal with it. Yeah,
yeah. And again, thank you for sharing that. And I appreciate your vulnerability and putting yourself out there. And trusting us with that information. And I think the point is great is that we all have different things that are happening in the background of our lives. And when it comes to self motivation. What are we telling ourselves? You know, what's the story that we tell ourselves? Are we are we making ourselves the hero? Are we making ourselves the victim? something in between? Because it's not always right. You know, and I think that narrative is something we have control over. And whether you, you know, you reach out to help through faith or friends or what have you, I think that's an important part of self motivation is what are you surrounding yourself with, maybe that's a good place to start. You know, and then we can think of more tactical. So once you've got the, the mindset, or your, where you have framed your day, then you can think more tactically, then it's like, Okay, now let's play the, let's play the positive, upbeat music, if that's what if that's your thing, or thoughtful music, if that's your thing, you know, and that's where you can say, All right, once I get XYZ done, I'm gonna go take a walk, I'm gonna go walk the dog, because that's what I like to do. You know, or, Victoria, I guess I'm gonna spend half an hour in my craft room, once I once I have framed my day in a positive way. And once I've done the things that I that I enjoy doing first, now I'm going to reward myself a little bit, and then I'm going to go back. And it's reframing, I believe how we treat ourselves every single day. You know, because I think goes back to a Doctor Bob said, what an oh, by the way, Dr. Bob, cutest thing. You and your wife. I hope that was your wife that you were kissing.
Yes, it was it was it was.
That to me, that was a happy moment. I was like, Oh, I can go with that thought today. But it is about what has worked in the past. So go back to what Dr. Bob started off with today is what's worked for you in the past and how can you build on that? You know, and take take those those moments of this work for me in the past. This is how I felt. This is how I accomplished that. Now I'm going to roll that all up into a bag of positivity. And I'm gonna move that into the next project. Yes,
a bag of positivity. I love that idea. You did use the word bag right?
I did use the word bag. Oh, yeah.
Can you imagine? A bag of positivity, a bag of kindness, a bag of graciousness, oh, man, you know, surround yourself with all these things. And I think the natural outcome when you do that is going to be a step for you that takes you in a direction that you ought to be going in and that you want to be going in. No matter what's happening with the world outside. Oh, I gotta tell you this. Shannon, it's 75 and sunny here in St. Petersburg. Come on down.
It is. It's 28 degrees outside. St. Petersburg.
52 degrees and Vegas, Sunny. Vegas,
we all need to be with Dr. Bob in Florida. That's a great positive way to start. Start today, Eric, is that is that an old hand or a new hand?
It's a new hand. Something that I'm not sure that we can actually maybe addressed today. But I think it's important maybe to fold into this conversation. I'm not sure about everybody else. But I have been reading some articles and some literature about the research around toxic positivity. So I think that there's maybe also just something to be said about, like, again, a sense of self motivation isn't like, just try to tell yourself that you always have to be positive, and then everything's gonna be okay. Right. Right. I think that. So again, it may not be appropriate for today, but no, I think it's, it's just a nuance in regards to what does positivity again, like mean, and what is our relationship with it? And does it then become something that almost do they almost like an addiction, right like that there's people who've maybe become addicted to positivity, and that it perhaps then starts to actually color? How they're perceiving or how they're engaging in the world? The balance,
I guess, no, you're right, you're, that's a great call out and I am coming from a place of assuming balance. And maybe I shouldn't assume that, but I'll say it, there is a balance there. You know, so when I say addressing the day with positivity, I'm not asking you to be delusional about what's happening around you. You know, also, yes, Dr. Bob,
um, me, you said something about positivity can be dismissive. Can you say a thing or two about that? Please?
Oh, I think it's just essentially what Shannon said me? No, not. In there. Sometimes people can be, like dismissive of reality. And that's not very helpful. So it's, you know, that I've known people who, who kind of there's, it's like, their mission to be positive in all ways. And, and it can be kind of hard, because you might be trying to work through an issue or, you know, really trying to figure out how to work the problem. And when someone's like, just be positive. It's like, that's not very helpful.
Yeah, well, you know, that's the problem. I don't know if I ever say to people just be positive, I think have an action or a thought that would be helpful in that, in, let them chew on that. Although one of my grandchildren, I do say, let's be positive.
I've tried to get into the habit of asking people, you know, when they're having a bad day, you know, it's like, do you want support? Do you want suggestions? Or do you just want sympathy?
Right, right, because sometimes I love that you
got to get it out.
Yeah, I get sometimes you just because you need to vent
and let you have somebody listen to you. And then, okay, you've purged it and you can move on.
Thank you, Heather, I, I get in so much trouble for that. I have one friend who's like, I'm not trying to solve the problem. Becky just listened to me.
Right, we tried to we get in that mode, I think it's just because of what we do. For a living, we get into that mode of wanting to solve people's problems rather than to, you know, be the, you know, be a listener. You know, I think sometimes we do that. But I but I agree I've started doing
it, though, is because I have kids, and they need to come up with their own solutions. I can hand them a solution, but it doesn't help them the next time they encounter that because they'll just come back and have me solve it again. Which is okay, if they're little kids, you got to do that. But for teenagers, like you have to think your way through this. You have to come up with a solution. You have to understand what the good and bad parts are. You know what the trade offs are? Where that's gonna go, then you have consequences. Right, right.
That's a whole other chat, isn't it? Right. The consequences of your decisions are Yes. Yes, suggests support provides sympathy. You know, I, again, I think when we think about self motivation, it's about what are we surrounding ourselves with? You know, who are the people, when we have a choice something you can't get out of work negativity, you know, if you work with with people who are just a buzzkill, then, unfortunately, unless you own the company, but yeah, you put on those, I put on my blinders or my ear muffs or whatever and keep working through. But in general, you know, our entered, let our energy go where our energy needs to go, you know, so if you've got people in your life that really are maybe toxic, then do you do cut the strings there? Or can you reframe that relationship? I don't know. But I think that that's all part and parcel of understanding what motivates you and how you're going to get through your day, your week, your life, right is, what's the environment that you that you're putting yourself in? Can that be reframed or changed? What is the self talk that you're telling yourself? Can that be reframed? Or changed? What are what are the rewards that actually drive you to move forward? And again, is that a change? You know, some of some of you may be like, Yes, I got this done on to the next thing, and maybe that's good. Maybe that's not so good. Right? So then it's about understanding who you are, and what really is going to drive you into the future and into you know, in some cases, getting out of bed on a cold day. Right. How do I motivate myself to do that? And others like you just don't? You just don't and I'm okay with that. Unfortunately, my TV is unplugged. Get up now. Dang it. I have to get up. Yeah, money. So don't have money on your lap is warm and comfy. Yes, it blanket around laptop on your lap. Like a hobby, right? Like it's over my head. I got my laptop on my lap snuggling in? Yep, absolutely. And as we reach the top of the hour here again, for another one. Our and I think this almost this almost dovetails into our next Coffee Chat, which is all about productivity tools that actually work for you. And what I want to talk about there is yes, productivity tools. There might be some tools Monday Trello, Asana, whatever that work for you, but also about the mindset of around productivity. What's that mindset, like? You know, some of us are more productive than others. So how do they get into that mindset. So it does have some sort of dovetail into what we're talking about today. So that's not next week, but the week after is coffee chat. And don't forget about our Learn something new, which is next week with with Brenda Cole, she was on our call last our last Coffee Chat about career resilience. That is next week. And one last one last thing to send to you guys, if you haven't signed up for our Sunday sparks, please do so. There's the link there. And the Sunday sparks free program. Every Sunday, you get a mobile text message from me, that gives you a small little something to think about, or a small little something to do during the week. Hopefully that sparks your creativity. Hopefully it sparks ideas maybe challenges you to do something different or to experiment with something. So that is what are Sunday Sparks is all about. And part of the Sunday Sparks is also comes with a access to a free space in the learning rebels community. So that way you can share your experiences there. You know, so if you want to take your Sunday spark to the next level, you don't have to but if you want to have a conversation about you know what's, what am I up to with my spark then you have access to be able to do that. So hopefully you guys have all joined or will join now. I would love to see you there. All right, Becky, any I see your hand last thoughts are
just a request. Just a question about productivity tools. Does that include AI for development? Good.
Sure. We'll talk about all the productivity tools. How can We make AI more productive for us. Absolutely. Okay, so on that note, Happy Friday, everybody, they turn to 500. This week, Dr. Bob in your Yep. Yep. Are you alright?
I'm not gonna go, I'm gonna watch it on TV. Okay, this was so rich today, someone needs to take this, everything that was said today and work it into an article. This was unbelievably useful, I think for everybody, and could be useful for a lot of people out there who would read the things we talked about the decisions we reached. I mean, today was so rich. Wow. So for
that, thank you for that. Yeah, you know, and I appreciate everybody being forthcoming, you know, with your things that might be barriers to you, or challenges and how you overcome those challenges. I will take, I will take your challenge. And I will put something in writing you guys of course, get all of the resources, you know, from these chats, but I'll I'll throw together a blog post about what we've talked about today. I think it is important.
Cool. So thank you. Thank
you for the challenge. All right, everybody. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Good seeing everybody. I look forward to seeing you at the next Coffee Chat. Thanks for talking about productivity tools. So you guys, have a great weekend. Thank you
happy Presidents Day.
Oh, that charts a long weekend. Yeah, I always forget that. When you work for yourself. You forget about those Mondays you're supposed to be able to have off
