Upgrade Your Inner Sense of Worth and Confidence with Amanda O’Reilly

8:22AM Sep 20, 2022

Speakers:

Angela Foster

Intro

Amanda O’Reilly

Keywords:

people

understand

worthy

love

life

realise

thoughts

true

amanda

angela

creating

listening

bio hacks

women

joe dispenza

feel

born

thought

degree

worth

manifestation is the big buzzword these days. But I think what people fail to realise is we manifest from our subconscious. So we don't believe that we're worthy or we're enough for this life for this partner for the abundance, there's there's no way that we're going to be able to call that in, we will always block it, we'll always self sabotage.

Welcome to the high performance health podcast with your host, Angela Foster, the show where we talk about everything you need to break through limits and achieve a high performance, mind, body and lifestyle.

Hi, friends, I hope you're well you're in for a treat today, because we have another episode all about mindset, and specifically around your own sense of worthiness. This is something that I know I've struggled with over the years. And I see so many women struggle with unfortunately, and really kind of understanding our inner worth, we're always in this mode of doing all the time, and we're not really being as much as we should be. And whenever I live release an episode, that centred around mindset is always hugely popular. And so I'm really excited today, because it's a friend of mine, who's also the founder of the company, we're the ones who's come on the show, really to talk about how to empower women and what confidence is, and how we can do the inner work really to grow it. But before we dive into this week's episode, I often get asked, Where should I start, like, where is the best place for me to start in terms of my health optimization, I know that many listeners listen to the podcast, and they get these nuggets every single week from different experts. And maybe you've also been listening to my bite size bio hacks episodes. And I think sometimes, the whole world of health optimization can feel a little bit overwhelming. And so if you haven't already, go and listen to the bite sized bio hacks, Because each week I take you through little things that you can do in that 10 minutes or less, they're very short episodes. And you can pick up tips, basically, and science, back bio hacks and things that can really help you to improve your health and your life one step at a time. And it's all centred around my protocol shift for health optimization for high performance and shift essentially stands for sleep, hormones and neurotransmitters insights flow, which is the way you fuel your body, which is food like oxygen and water. And then the last T is for training the mind and body. And essentially, that's a framework that you can use, how can you make the shift into optimal health. And to help you do that I've developed an online quiz with a personalised report that you can get completely free, all you need to do is head over to your total health check.com and complete the questionnaire it takes five minutes or less. And then we will send you a free personalised report with your scores in each of these areas and tips for you to start improving. And it's a helpful way for you to think about should I start with slate which to be honest, I've put it at the beginning because I believe it is the foundation of everything. But maybe there's something more pressing for you that you need to focus on. And if you need help with anything, reach out to us at info at Angela Foster performance.com and email us but I would say in the first instance go and take that quiz. So it is your total health check.com where you can take that quiz. So into today's episode, so yes, I am sitting down with Amanda O'Reilly, who is a lifestyle entrepreneur and she's also a dame she hasn't been knighted. She is the creator of worthy ones. And she's all about helping women feel more confident and empowering them. And it took her realising with her deep inner work, that she didn't feel worthy or enough in her own life despite the fact that she had already built multiple seven Figure Figure businesses. She was kind of addicted to the doing of life because that was how she validated her own self worth. And she had to learn to reprogram her unconscious beliefs about herself and just learn to be and he says some amazing insights today on how you can do that. And in doing this ongoing that journey she created worthy ones, and it's a collection of science backed jewellery designed to rewire the subconscious mind and reprogram your DNA. In fact, I have my very own worthy wands. beautiful necklace, as does my daughter and to date Amanda's company has saved and no less than seven lives across the world from suicide. And this brand is making waves around the world reminding women men and teens alike, that they were born worthy. And they are more than enough. And you are more than enough. And in today's episode, you're going to learn how you can really upgrade your own sense of inner self worth and confidence. So without further delay, let me now introduce you to the lovely Amanda O'Reilly. So I'm joined today by Amanda O'Reilly, who is the worthiness whisperer she's also the founder of worthy ones beautiful jewellery that I have myself that my daughter also has We're going to be talking a lot about worthiness today, because I think it's an area that so many people but in particular women struggle with. So first of all, welcome to the show, Amanda, it's absolutely lovely to have you here.

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so I'm so excited to have this conversation.

Yeah, me too. We were just talking before the show a little bit about how much people struggle with this concept, and actually just how much we really beat ourselves up. But I don't think I don't think people really do understand that you're saying that a lot of people don't really understand what worthiness is. And that's obviously a big goal of yours to help women and children and just anyone really appreciate an honour themselves. How would you describe knowing your inner worth and why that's so important.

So it's something that I struggled with understanding and I am going to be 50 this year, and it took me to the age of 44, to understand that self worth is actually how we feel about ourselves. It has nothing to do with what other people think about us. And I think that's a great misconception. It's about how we decide, we decide how worthy we are. I mean, we were given worth at birth, our Creator day, but worth gave us worth at birth. And so it's something that we own, it's not something that we have to earn. And when I understood that, it really changed the trajectory of my life, because I was so addicted to the do of life hustling to validate my worth, if I do this, then I will be worthy of love. If I do that, for this, that, you know, but we're human beings, we're not human doings. And I think that this is the thing that we women in particular, I think fall into that trap, where we believe that we have to do and we attach our worth to our productivity. And I think that that was something that was really prevalent during the pandemic, where we had nowhere to go. And a lot of people were starting to sort of question their worth in value because of the meaning that they attach to it, or they attach it to productivity and having to do something as opposed to just knowing that you were born worthy. It's our birthright, it's, it's not, it's not something we have to hustle for.

Now, I love that it's so true. And I will say to people, actually, you know, when you when you look at someone else, and you're judging, right, that that sort of judgement you can place understand that you are judging yourself, at the same time, because we were we always reserve the harshest judgement for ourselves. And I think when you start to build that awareness in of how am I looking at love, I think I don't know if it was Gabby Bernstein that posted, you know, today, I feel judged and nothing that occurs. And actually sometimes when you just live by that mantra, I try as much as I can, you really start to understand where in your day you're calling these things in and, and that compassion that you actually don't have for yourself. And it was a huge thing for me in overcoming clinical depression. And it was one of my therapists that pointed out to me, I think I was given a book to read by the match either the compassionate mind or something. And I was like, what, like self compassionate had never occurred to me, because as you say, I'd been conditioned through childhood that you had to work hard, and I had to get certain grades and then move on. And then I went to law school and became a lawyer. And it was just like this gravy train of moving out, moving out, then eventually making partner. And when I then had my kids, I've made partnership and, and decided to depart from that. My best friend said to me, when I was thinking about leaving law, she was like, Well, how much is your self esteem wrapped up in being a lawyer? And I was like, you know, it's not of course, it's not. It can't be in any way. completely denied it. But I do think, you know, there's a lot of reasons I think I experienced depression, I think that was contributing, and I beat myself up immeasurably. I was felt I was the worst Mother, you know, that I, you know, what was I doing wrong? And would my kids be better off without me and all these crazy things that were happening? And I think that we're not taught that at school, right. We're not taught to value ourselves and appreciate our inner worth. And yeah, I just think so we have a lovely conversation around a thing how women can do that. I mean, what where do you think it starts? Because often until we draw attention to it, we've, we've sort of missed the voice in our head that can be really nasty. You'd never say out loud, what goes on right to somebody else.

Yeah. And as we said, it's conditioned it needs starts at a really young age where, you know, children, everything is we take everything literally. So our parents are our greatest source of love. We have them on this pedestal and so if they are short tempered, if they are not tending to themselves, if they we were talking about that earlier, my mother never exercise, sort of self care. She never went to the gym. She was always last on the list. So if her patients were short, and she would react just out of sheer exhaustion or frustration, I didn't look at her being the problem. I then internalised it that I am the problem that there's something wrong with me. And so when you start, you know, to hear that more often if we want to look at sort of the developmental stages, you know, even going from a newborn to toddler and everything is cues, we peed our pants, we've pooping our diapers, it's like, oh, it's no problem. Oh, you spilled milk under this, let me clean that up for you. But then when you're like, two, what are you doing coming in your pants are supposed to and then it's like that shame. It's like, Oh, my God, I am bad. Right and I am as opposed to I did something bad. It's we internalise that I and that I made money mad. And so I need to condition myself to be this way, in order to be worthy of love. And so as women especially right, we then it's a whole conditioning, and we learn what things will get us love and attention and affection. And we also learn what things will have love taken away, and we don't want to get kicked out of the tribe. And you were wired for connection. So what happens is, is that we then change ourselves and we chameleon in order to be accepted. And that shows, you know, all through school through high school, right? You're trying to fit in as opposed to, you know, just being uniquely who you were born to be. Half of us don't know, it took me halfway through my Well, no, like, in the last couple of years really me understanding that I had a choice. And I got to decide who I wanted to be in my story. I was like, How did I miss the match? Right? Because we're used to, I'm going to do this, and I'm going to make my parents proud. Or I'm going to do this and it's going to be acceptable. And so this is the way most of us have have lived a life. And then we get to midlife. This is where the midlife crisis comes in, where people then are understanding that actually, I get to have a say in my own life. Right, we want to talk about energetic alignment, we want to talk about, you know what feels good when we start to really care more about how we feel. Which again, you know, people can say, and I like to say I'm in the business of promoting selfishness, and it's, it's to care more about self, because if you're full, then everybody around you will benefit. If you're in Lac, you're in dehydration.

It's very, very true. So I spent a long time trying to find is in fact, a greens powder that I actually liked the taste of. And I finally found that basically tastes amazing on its own, or actually mixed into shakes, which is pretty unusual, because some of them taste kind of really minty, and that overpowers everything else, whereas this one just tastes really, really nice. And it mixes well with banana and protein powder. It also mixes really well with a strawberry protein I've been using, and it just works super well just on its own on an empty stomach. And that is athletic greens. It has prebiotics, probiotics, and naturally occurring enzymes that boost digestion has your daily dose of vitamin C and zinc, healing mushrooms, magnesium to help you regulate all day energy and support energy production in our cells. And it's packed with superfoods, adaptogens and antioxidants, and I absolutely love it. And the cool thing is, you can get one year supply of vitamin D plus five free travel packs. When you get your order of athletic greens, all you need to do is go to this special link athletic greens.com forward slash Angela foster that's athletic greens.com forward slash Angela foster to buy yourself a year supply of vitamin D plus five free travel packs. Now let's get back to the show. What what prompted the shift for you you were saying that that it was around the age of 44 that you really realised that you had a choice in this? Often it's kind of a life event, isn't it? That just changes and really if we could help more people prevent that from happening, right? It shouldn't have to be a life event. What what sparked this shift in you and were you always into sort of spirituality studying universal laws? Or was it around that time that you kind of started to look at it?

Listen, I grew up Catholic. I grew up you know, but it was a fear like God, you know, and it was like, oh my god, I'm gonna live in Purgatory and I'm so I feared all these things. I wasn't really connected to sort of myself even I didn't even understand that I had to self fix. So what was taught was, was more fear based. So about five years ago, I had the biggest rupture of my life. In essence, I was in a long term relationship and my relationship blew up. And in the same week, my son who I had raised as a single mom basically said, I'm out of here too. So I lost everything that I thought gave me worth and value, I was no longer going to be somebody's wife. And for the time being, I was no longer somebody's mother. And everything that I thought gave me worth and value was taken away from me. And I had to figure out who I was outside of the roles that I would play and outside of the titles, and I, you know, really decided to surrender and marinate at rock bottom because I realised that I was the common denominator in all the situations that weren't working. And I really surrendered and I got a coach and really kind of went down the personal development rabbit hole at that time. And for me, she said to me, you have an unworthiness issue. And I was so offended, I was more I'm like an over giver. I'm a people pleaser, I'm not unworthy. And when I really understood what it was, when I had no value of self, I had completely abandoned myself, for somebody else. It really prompted me to understand that if I could manifest all of this unconsciously, imagine what I could manifest into my life with, with conscious awareness. So that's when I really started going down the spirituality rabbit hole, Understanding Universal Law, understanding the law of attraction, because that is real. It's as real as the law of gravity. We were always broadcasting it's just what are you broadcasting? You know, are you are you what vibration Are you putting out because you can only ever be an energetic match for what you're putting out. I didn't understand that. And everything. It was like a spiritual cosmic to buy for over the head was like, Oh, so that's how I manifested it. So it was such a gift because it really shifted and changed the trajectory of my life. And it's actually how worthy wands were born. Because I needed an anchor. to guide me back to myself, Amanda actually means worthy of love. But through this rupture, I had to go back and really explore the sexual trauma that I had experienced as a young child and understand where did I start to believe that I wasn't worthy of love? And what were the messages because it's never the event itself. It's what happens and how you're held after the event. Right? I think that if we get to life, adulthood, we all experienced trauma to some degree doesn't need to be big T trauma could be little T trauma. When when you start to really understand that Amanda net worthy of love, but because of that I felt anything but worthy of love. So it really started as a prototype for me, I stamped worthy on one side, I stamped enough on the other, and it went to work. And then through understanding the sciences through getting involved in Dr. Joe Dispenza. His work, Bruce Lipton's, I really started to understand how it was working on me, how was it that I went from hating the woman in the mirror to then having as you said, compassion for her having really empathy and understanding and my shoulders were, you know, back and are standing a little bit taller. And I was meeting her everyday with some degree of of love and compassion and kindness and empathy. And then you start to understand the science why it works, right? Because our cells are always listening. In the subconscious, it's like what are you telling yourself? Because the brain learns from repetition? So if you are that, as you said, that mean girl and if that dialogue is always mean? Well, this is what you're, we're creatures of habit. This is what just keeps getting repeated and repeated and repeated, and I didn't really realise how much of a bully I was to myself.

And that's really where that's where everything started to change where I was like, wow, okay, so whatever I believe about myself is going to be true. It's, I can only ever attract that because you can only ever be a, you know, an energetic match to your thoughts, then, and we were talking about that earlier about manifestation, right? Manifestation is the big buzzword these days. But I think what people fail to realise is we manifest from our subconscious. So if we don't believe that we're worthy, or we're enough for this life, for this partner for the abundance, there's there's no way that we're going to be able to call that in, we will always block it, we will always self sabotage. So it's really interesting.

And I guess I guess the question that probably is in people's mind is how do we were two things actually. One would be how do we stop the self sabotage which I want to come on to, but first of all, and maybe these are connected? When you were making that shift? And you said, you, you learn to love yourself? Again, you've learned to have compassion, right? Because it's very easy in this situation, particularly as women. I think, again, we're conditioned to beat ourselves up inherently men seem to be they just seem to support their ego a little better, right? If you say to a guy, they don't go over and over, or most don't most men over and over and over why this was bad, it's like it's done, it happened. Let's move on. And they sort of back themselves quite often a bit more. Not all men, but women seem to have a harder time. They're like, Why did I do this? Why did I do that? And children can do it as well. Right? How did you develop that compassion and become that friend to yourself going from such a low ebb? What was the thing that really helped you the most? I know, you said you were studying Bruce Lipton and Dr. Joe Dispenza. But what were you actively doing to come from a place of self love for yourself?

It was really being alone with myself and understanding what I was, what were I'm saying to myself, so journaling was a big was a big proponent. It was really naming it so I could tame it. It was it was an ugly process to really put on paper, the things that I thought about myself the things that other people had said to me, and that were those seeds got planted. So it was really an excavation of understanding. Where did I assign that meaning that I am not lovable. I'm not worthy. i, x, y and z. So that's really, it was naming it to tame it. For me, it was really understanding, okay, these are the things that you're believing these are the things that you're saying. So if there's a theme, if you could monitor your thoughts, and you become the observer of your thoughts, and really understanding, I think the key to freedom was, and I wish somebody would have told me this in school is we're not our thoughts. We're just the thinker of our thoughts. But I thought I was my thoughts. So because I thought I was dirty and disgusting. And because of the sexual trauma, I have labelled myself, all these things that it's very hard to outperform your identity. So if you believe that you are these things, anything that follows I am becomes your identity, it's very easy to do what you are, it's very hard to do what you're not. And so for me, it was a process of really self identification and identifying how I saw myself.

But I think that Catholicism because I also was raised in a very strict Catholic background, unfortunately, does lead you to be even the strictest sense that you are your thoughts, and that that is wrong, and what you thought is wrong, and how can you think that and then you go to confession, which I just found that, you know, is not something I would do with my own children. And I found that I then had to literally make a complete physical departure from religion, it sounds crazy to develop a spiritual to develop spirituality. And I find that this is not to trivialise religion in any way, shape, or form. Because I think that religion for many people actually find provides a really strong foundation, right, whatever religion that is, but for me, the source the source energy, right and of what all religion is, is, is spirituality, and that connection with what we all are and source energy, whether you call it source energy, God, the universe, but religion. So if we think of it in the context of safe soccer, my football game, we have the game of soccer, but you can support different teams, but fundamentally, it's all coming back to the same game. And you may be able to say, well, I don't like that team. It's not, it doesn't have the values that I have fine. But that's really what religion is doing. But because we're I was raised in such a strict Catholic upbringing, it was bound up and my thoughts were that and you could go to in theory, right? That's how they would see it. And even if you didn't act on them, you could be made to feel bad for even thinking that like, How could you think that and I think that's dangerous, because as you say, we are not our thoughts

are not our thoughts. And that's the thing that it just it binds you. And then what happens is it that just plays on a loop over and over and over and over. And thoughts you could think one thought which will lead to 100 other thoughts? But just because you think a thought doesn't make it true, unless you believe it, and I believed my own thoughts. And so I got to this place at 44 years old, and I was like, How in the heck did I get here? I look back now I don't even recognise that woman. I have so much empathy for her. I feel sad that she, you know, went through so many years just beating herself up and believing things that just aren't even remotely true. So we want to look at it through the eyes of source or God's eyeballs. I like to say it just it wouldn't be that this is something you know, the gift I think of spirituality and really understanding that we have an a larger non physical part of us that is our champion cheerleader that is inside that wants us to win that is that unconditional love. That is the that wants whatever it is that we want. If that larger non physical part of us didn't exist, we wouldn't experience pain. So when we experience pain, when we experience sadness, when we experienced frustration or anger, it's because we're out of alignment with our own inner truth. And that understanding that was like, it was a game changer for me. Because that's alignment, its alignment with your, your self, your soul. And that puts you in your own lane where you don't feel you need to compete and compare and look at what somebody else is doing. And I think all too often in this world that we live in, we're so caught up in what other people are doing. And we're not focused enough on how we feel about success today. Right? So somebody will say to me, Well, how do you measure success? Do you measure it by dollars in the bank account? No, I measure it in terms of how I feel. And at the end of the day, do I feel good.

But actually, when you feel good, you're more likely to attract abundance to you.

Because it's all you're in that higher vibration, right? So you're in that whatever receiving mode that you're in, you're in, you're in alignment with with that. So I think that that's, if there's one thing that I'm just so grateful for, it's that it's understanding that I had this unbreakable unshakable relationship with self now that I didn't have before. And it started with really getting to know myself and really making friends with the woman in the mirror. You know, and I think like statistics are high 82% of women don't like who, who who's looking back at them in the mirror that's high.

Well, and also that they criticise from the word go right, as a teenage girl, you look at your body shape. And again, we shown unrealistic things on social media that makes women look at themselves, and everyone's a different body shape anyway. But when you did this exercise, I'm just curious, because I think many people listening will resonate with this, about how they feel that, you know, maybe they've suffered with so everyone's had a degree of trauma anyway, at different stages of their life. But childhood trauma, self loathing things like this, you said that journaling was a big part. And initially, you've got those thoughts down on paper, I think there will be a lot of resistance for many people to do that. Once you have them down, and it's staring you in the face. Did you then did you kind of almost have it as like to I've heard people will say, I almost created two columns, right. So this is this is how I see myself. And now this is the me that I want to create an embody or did you tear it up? Did you say let's not worry about it? How did you progress beyond that representation of you.

So the first was laying them all out, so I could witness them. And then I just, I had to sit and appreciate them and appreciate. And then it was trying to find gratitude for certain aspects of it. So or the experience, or the person or what they then taught me, instead of being a victim, it was like, Okay, well, so that relationship ended. What's the good in that what the good night is that I was then taught, it wasn't about his betrayal, it was about my own self betrayal. So that then taught me not to self abandon and not to betray myself. So that was one step. But then it was to find evidence to the opposite. And it was really a question of questioning my thoughts. Is that true? And let's go find evidence. Because your ego, people talk a lot about the ego and they say, kill the ego, kill the ego, we can't kill the ego, because we would die if we didn't have it, because the ego keeps us alive. But you can tame the ego because the ego is only job is to validate the narrative that you say it's always its only job. It's like Buddha, we believe that let me go give you evidence. So this was really a process of doing the reverse and going to find evidence to the opposite and saying, Okay, is it true, that I am not lovable, and I'm unworthy, and that nobody loves me, and I'm going to be alone forever and look at, you know, my partnership ended, my son left me and etc, etc. And I had to go and find evidence to the opposite. And that was, it was hard. It was hard at first because there was so much resistance. But once you do it, it's like the table legs, then you have this solid foundation of which then you can stand upon. And for me, it's always it's questioning my thoughts. Is that true? And then it's good. I'd be without that thought. That's a good question is

that's a good question. I must say I did I like that question. When I when I was doing a lot of CBT CBT CBT, cognitive behavioural therapy, overcoming depression they would read I'd have to spend so much time with my thoughts and just writing out what was the thought an automatic thought, you know, what, do I know this to be true? Do I absolutely know this to be true? And then if it passed those two tests, which rarely it did, it would then have to be do I absolutely know this to be true and nothing else. But I love that that net question. Can you repeat that? For people that said she already who wasn't? Who would you be without this? Yeah, that's liberating.

Yeah. Wow. Because the border the finger our thoughts. And there's really only me and me up there. Yes, like, Okay. Wow, that's interesting. So I created this chaos, which then I manifested these experiences. Hmm, imagine what I can create what I can manifest without that thought from a conscious place of self love and self care and kindness and compassion and empathy and magnetism and random stuff.

And then that's actually then creating effectively creating your future self. And I think a lot of people don't realise that you can create a new self as well, that like I think almost, and I think it holds so many people back, you see it, unfortunately, you know, a lot of like women who lose their confidence after having children, and they feel like they can't start that business or they can't go back to work. And then they sort of feel trapped, right, because they can enjoy life while the kids are at home. But then once they leave home, that's why empty nest syndrome happens to a degree, I mean, you're going to feel it a bit anyway. But you're going to feel it more if you didn't have anything, because now everything that you are putting all that energy into, they don't need you so much anymore, and they've gone on with their own lives. How do you think then, are there? Were there affirmations that you used? Did you write out who you wanted to be like maybe some people that are listening to this or thinking, as you know what I don't think I am honouring myself and my self worth, I don't think I am living my best life and embracing that fear and going out there? What are the steps they can take to begin to do that?

Well, I think the first thing to realise is that we are creators. For nature, we're always creating just like we're always manifesting 24/7. The question is, what are you creating? And what are you manifesting? That's the first thing. And then I think the second thing is to ask is, What do you want? And I think that's a very hard question for people to answer. I know a lot, you know, my one on one coaching, when I ask people that, they can tell me everything that they don't want. But it's very hard for people to actually say what they do want, because they're afraid of number one, maybe I won't get it. Number two, I don't know who I am outside of my story. So if we talk about somebody who's lived their life for somebody else, and all of a sudden wants to make the shift to live for themselves, that's scary, because they don't know who they are outside being that caretaker or that one that is the go to person for everyone else. They don't know how to sort of turn that on themselves. So don't think it's it's get excited, be like a kid at Christmas and just say, if I could be doing have anything that I want? Who would that be? Yeah.

And you've got to be, as you say, you want to be, you've got to become at first, but I think a lot of people don't because they go through that process. And they go, how can I be do have? So they set a goal and they go right? I want to get it. But ultimately, this is the ultimate goal that I want to have. And they've kind of conceptually or not on a superficial level understood. We do have, but they haven't really, because then they jump to the end. And they go Oh, yeah, okay, great. I've got it. Now, when I have that, then I'm gonna do this. And I'll be this.

It's, yeah, it's backwards. Because the being affects the doing. Yeah. So it's a question of Who do you want to be in your story? Yeah.

And also, you're creating from the wrong person effectively, because you're creating from the current self, which has all this conditioning? If you're if you're not creating from the future self who has that?

Yeah. So if there were no limitations, and if you weren't believing your thoughts, and if you believed that you could be do or have anything, what would that look like? So I think it's to start there and dream and get excited, because the brain doesn't know the difference between real or imagined. It doesn't, it only knows what you tell it. And the brain learns by repetition. So visualisation is something that's really powerful. Meditation is amazing. Because you quiet your mind. And when you're in meditation, there's no resistance. So it's, it's it's going there and imagining and then wisdom will drop in your higher self will speak source will speak to you. And that's from a place of there's no resistance. So it's not good. What receiving mode are you in, you're in the receiving mode of, of the solution. Most people are so focused on the problem that they can't receive the solution, right, because there's only really ever two subjects there's wanted and the absence of the wanted. Where do we put most of our time and attention and energy on the unwanted

and the unknown taking But it is true with any situation. And I think Joe Dispenza talks about this doesn't hear with people healing, you'll see some people who then do spontaneously heal. I have my own experience of that. And very, very quickly, and that collapses time and space. And other people who are really focused on the illness can almost never get better, because they're so focused on treating that illness, as opposed to being completely symptom free, which is where they want to be. It's almost easier though I find in that sense for people to understand because it's like, yeah, okay, if I connect with the healing, then maybe, you know, I've been there before, I've been really healthy before. But there are situations where I think people may find that they've had so much conditioning that they can't, they don't, they're not able to see that reality. So for most people, I sort of explain what I mean here, like, some people are unfortunate insofar as they are born with some genetic problem, that that is their health, right. But most people actually are born healthy, they are born healthy, mind and body. And then we sort of progressively spend our lives deteriorating with things we do and behaviours and nutrition and thoughts, we think, of lowering our mental and physical health status. However, what is variable is large is incredibly variable between people is, what financial position they're born into, and what relationship and the love position they're born into. And I think those things are very hard. And so with that, you were saying no, some people will find it very difficult to understand that if they've been in an abusive situation at home, that they can have love and to visualise and have that in their life. If they have struggled for money. They can't almost envisage that actually they can be wealthy. And there are plenty of people who do become extraordinarily wealthy. If they've been around parents who just didn't have self care, like you said, we're always overweight, gave them the wrong food. Now they're conditioned, it's like, well, I'm fat, but I've always been fat, you know. And then what they do is I finally start to qualify their statements, you'll say, What do you want? They do? Sometimes they they know what they don't want. But sometimes they even know what they do want, but they're immediately qualified. So it's like, Well, wait is a really good example. You know, I'd love I'd love to be this. But to be honest, I'd be happy with this. And if it immediately settled immediately, how would you say because Joe Dispenza talks about collapsing time and space, if we spend too much time, in the physical form, we'll get there. But it's using the physical force, if you like, to a degree, and it just takes so much longer. Whereas when you can access this sort of quantum field, this invisible field of energy, it can happen quicker. And I think for a lot of people listening, they're going to be like, Yeah, okay, I've seen miracles of people spontaneously healing. And I know that and that's been documented and things like the Bible for hundreds of years. But what about people just becoming wealthy unless it's a lottery ticket? Or people really turning into that person? And I'm just curious how you coach people through that and those sort of examples?

Well, I think it starts with the decision. Right? I think it. But it's a decision, it starts with it. And I think it's also micro over versus macro, because the brain will get overwhelmed with any degree of change, we need to feel safe in our body. We need to know that that it's safe to change, it's safe to lose the weight. It's getting to the root of it. Why did people put on weight in the first place? Is it you know, because of a trauma? Is it because of poor eating? Is it because of an identity? Is it because, you know, it keeps a connection? Is it because then they have something in common with other people and that they don't want to then you know, be different, right? Because the thing is, we're wired for connection. So it's really understanding number one, what you want making a decision, and then really having some leverage to sort of say, Okay, why do you want it? Because it's not when somebody says, Well, I want the money or I want to get married, or I want a baby or I want a house, you don't really want those things. You don't want a million pieces of paper. You want the feeling of what being wealthy healthy, or being in a loving, committed relationship with feel like so that's where you can go into the quantum you could go into that. Now you can imagine you could use TV you could use a movie you could get in that state of feeling because then you're in the energetic vibration where then it's like that's we're energetic beings living in a vibrational world and everything is vibrational. So what is the vibration that you're putting out? I like to call it I like to am when I talk to clients, it's like putting an order into Amazon. Right? When you're shopping on Amazon. You're confident you know what you want, you put it in the basket and you check it out. You're not then you know what was coming into this that you're not checking on it in an essence then doubting that it's Want to arrive? Because with the doubting it's like, then we cancel our order. So really, it's deciding what do you want? And then who do you need to become in order to have those things? So if you want to become healthy, what do you need to become? What is a healthy person do whatever habits, what does she eat? What does she, what she watched? What is she? Where did she go when she hang out your friends, whatever habits did she exercise. So it's like it's envisioning that version of who you want to become. And here's the other thing that's really interesting. And I think that will really resonate for people and it'll give people this sort of sense that it's possible for them is that if it wasn't possible for you, you wouldn't have the desire. If it wasn't in the realm of possibility, it wouldn't even enter your mind. This is why when somebody wins the lottery, let's say, everybody has a different idea of what they're going to spend it on. Some people might go out and buy a car, I wouldn't do that, because that just doesn't light me up. So when you talked earlier also about jealousy, or envy, or whatever it is, I say that that's, it's a good thing, because that's your soul telling you what you actually desire. So pay attention to those things. So it's like, Oh, wow. And I, my eyes really caught on this person, like you maybe, let's say, with the way that you take care of your body and the way that you work out, you know, there's a part of me that I look at you and I go, wow, she's like, amazing. But, but, but I'll be honest with you, do I have the determination to say, I am going to know, I'll I'll look at you go Go girl, but I don't have it in me. And I know myself enough that I'm not going to then set myself up to fail to say, I'm not going to be in there lifting weights every day. So that's great for you. But it's not something that that I know that I could commit to because it's it's not who I want to be in this life I can set. So it's important that we we don't set ourselves up to fail and be unrealistic. So it's really deciding who you want to be. If you could be anybody, but you can be who would that? Who would she be? Who would he be? Yeah,

I think that's I think that's a really important. I love that you brought that up, because I think too often people aren't actually 100% clear on what they want. So they look at other people, and they go, Oh, but she's amazing. She does this. And she's like, yes, but do you want to do that? Like does it interest you? Do you know, to me? Because if it doesn't, and it isn't fun? Why would you do it? Like why would you put yourself through that. So for example, and use the car example, like I love fast cars, that's just something that to me is super, super fun, because I love the thrill. You just can't drive them anywhere here. There's so many speed limiters, but for somebody else that really is not an important thing. So why on earth would they visualise driving around in a sports car, when it isn't important? You know, and I think you're right, you've got to connect with what your values and aspirations are

effectively. Yeah, and and this is why affirmations don't work for some people, because what they're doing is they're pulling it off the internet, and they're like, oh, that person says, these affirmations and look at their lead. It's because they're an embodiment of those and they believe them. That's another thing is we set ourselves up to fail when we don't believe what it is we're saying? Or when we're doing ultimately, or are we? Are we doing it for somebody else? Are we living life for someone else? And what what I realised is I really was living life for other people. Because then I felt worthy. It was like, if I do and I take care, and I do doo doo doo doo, then I'm going to be worthy of love. But was it my highest? Was I living in my highest? You know, value and, and? And love of who I can be? No, I wasn't it was a fraction, right? You're chameleon. And you're, you're just being who you've been conditioned to be. But instead of peeling back the layers and really being who you were born to be, there's a big difference.

Yeah, that's very true. And so in creating this sort of desired self, if you like, and then becoming that person and living into it. How do you recommend people do it? Do they write it out almost like a story and connect with that person and refine it over time?

I love that. I would I love that idea and even just in visualising it if you're going into a movie. Right? And it was the movie of your life. What would that what would it look like? What's the theme? What are the characters? What are you here to do? What are you you know, how does she dress? How does she talk? Who does she be? Who are her friends? What's the theme? What's the theme of your life? What do you want? Yeah,

what do you want? That is one of the hardest questions, I think that people find, but it is the most, I think, personally the most fun I have when I journal on what I really want. And then you do develop a connection. And I think, if people listening could understand that you are worthy of having everything that you want, because often I think we hold back on what we want, because the belief is like, yeah, that that's kind of for her or for him as for other people, whereas actually, as you say, you wouldn't be able to have that thought in the first place. If it couldn't be yours. I love it, I think is it? Is it Bob Proctor that says, if you can hold it in your head, you can hold it in your hand, he sadly passed away. Yeah, I did a years coaching with him. And he sadly passed away. Yeah, during it. But it was amazing. And he you know, he was really was all about the conditioning of the mind every day, you've got to be there and be like the Guardian at the gate, I think this is the thing other people don't understand. What other people a lot of people don't understand is that the weeds are always going to come in the mind is like a garden. So the weeds are going to come in and you can either water the flowers, or you can water the weeds. And if you whatever you give energy to is going to grow. And sometimes by not wanting to think a thought and trying to dis overly trying to dismiss it, rather than letting it be, you're inadvertently I found giving tremendous amounts of energy to

Absolutely and that's like just in our world that's you know, the spiritual bypassing. So So for me, I don't think this is about going to your garden and saying there are no weeds, there are no weeds, there are no weeds, it's really saying, okay, there are some weeds that is choking out the growth in other areas, and really going in and just, you know, being belligerent and, and pulling them out at the root and saying, okay, like you said, I'm going to water, I'm going to plant and I'm going to water, what I want to grow and bloom and flourish in my life. Because it's true, whatever you put your focus on expands.

And understanding that it like a garden, it's not a one day thing right there, the weeds are going to keep coming back, you've got to keep going in and tending to that garden, and then planting the thoughts that you want, because they created a reality.

And I think also alignment is also something that people you know, there's there's there's big talk about alignment and alignment is also not a university degree where you're either you either have it or you don't. It's a it's a constant course correction. And that's okay. You know, pilots do it all the time, like when they're flying from, you know, New York to LA, it's, they're constantly it's a constant course correction course correction course question. And they don't make themselves wrong, they just course correct. And so for us, it's just it's really about a course correction and how the course correct is based on our feelings. Does that feel good? Is that in my highest and best? is just it's a question that I asked myself. And also, is this worth the impact to my nervous system. Because any degree of change, your body needs to feel safe, your mind is wired to keep you alive. And to keep you safe. We got to work for our happiness. So it's first it's creating and cultivating that safe place within you. And then it's really being mindful and saying, okay, is this worth the impact my nervous system? Right? And whose voice You said something earlier? That was really, I can't remember exactly what you said, but that I wanted to interject in there is to really be mindful of whose voice that is? Well, I think when you were saying, Oh, I don't think I can do it. That's for her. You know, that's not for me. That's for her. Whose voice is that? Right? Is that your voice? Or is that the voice of your mother, your father a teacher appear? You know? Is it really your voice? So it's, that's something else that I really started to pay attention to? And it was like, Oh, God, that's not even my voice. Right? And then even

if it has happened, yeah, exactly turning the volume down. Because even if it has, like, that voice may have been there in the past, but is it serving you now? It's not, I think people don't. I think often actually, it took me a long time to realise this is that you can just cut it off. It doesn't need to be like who you were yesterday doesn't mean to be who you are today, the people you hang out with can change. And I think inherently we're wired because as you say, we're here to stay alive and to protect ourselves that we're nervous of change. And we're nervous of letting go. And definitely, when you make those changes, you have to be prepared to let a part of you go but that's because you're gonna grow so much more of yourself in the process.

Yeah, and everything in life, everything, everything, everything always happens for you, not to you. So if there is this is the contrast this is the duality of life every time there is this rupture. It just means that there is an even greater solution. So the bigger your problem, oh my god, great, the bigger the solution is. So we can look at it like that and say what okay, what's the gift? Why is this happening? How do they attract this? How do they manifest this? And go look for the solution? Stop staying in the frequency of the problem itself. Just be like, Okay, wow, that sucks. I don't like it. I manifested I say this, when something great happens I'm like, I manifested that was like I manifested that too is so true, I don't make it I don't assign a meaning to it. I just then go, wow. Okay, so where are my thoughts? What was I believing that then that, you know squeaked in and nothing's permanent including our happiness it's like there's ebbs and flows. So it's just like enjoy the moment live for the now and, and really just understand that you are worthy beyond measure. And if you believed that you were revealing enough, what could you accomplish for yourself and in your life? I love that question.

If you believed you're worthy and enough, what could you accomplish, I think is a great place to to close and the worthy ones are an amazing way of giving you that reminder as you say you can flip it and it says worthy and enough. Where can people find more about you, Amanda? I love your content. I follow you on Instagram. I love it. You're there daily just giving amazing advice as well you give with all your heart and I think people should definitely go and check out your account your jewellery but please link and let let listeners know where they can find you.

Yeah, well worthy. ones.com is where the jewellery is. And then I'm most active on social media. I'm most active on Instagram. So Amanda dot O'Reilly when I'm sure I'll link it in the show notes.

We will. Amazing. Thank you so much for coming on the show. It's been such a pleasure. Yeah, I'm here to thank you. I hope you enjoyed this week's podcast episode. If you want to get some of Amanda's jewellery, just really as a reminder to yourself, it looks beautiful. But it's also a daily reminder to yourself that you are worthy. And that you are more than enough she has very kindly offered listeners of this show 20% off. So if you head over to worthy ones.com and enter coupon code Angela 20. At checkout, you'll get 20% off anything in their range. Thank you so much again for listening. I am so grateful to all of you who listen to this podcast and also send me messages on Instagram and to my email. If you're enjoying the show, please like and subscribe so you never miss an episode and also leave us a positive review on whatever platform you're listening on. As it really helps us to get the message out to a wider audience. And if you leave a review and it gets read out on the show, just email us as we will send you some free call biohacking supplements for you to get started with on your journey. That's it for today. Thanks for listening, and I'll see you next week for another episode.

Thanks for listening. Remember to review and subscribe. You can grab the show notes, the resources and highlights of everything Angela mentioned over at Angela Foster performance.com You can also snatch up plenty of other goodies including the highly helpful Angela recommends page which is a list of everything she personally recommend to optimise your mind, body and lifestyle