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Sumaya Owens - August 12th 2022 | Otter.ai

Sumaya Owens - August 12th 2022

Grace Edison55min

Grace Edison

00:00

And then there's always a little bit of a delay. So hello, and welcome to our channel this morning. I am here with my friend Samaya. Did I say it? Right? Yes. Okay, perfect. And we're going to we're doing the sell the sales bisher ish lives. And so we're going to talk a lot about Samaya. And, and so I know you use she, her, they them. So do you have a particular desire for what I use today?

Speaker 1

00:27

Sure if you wanted to use the them today, that's great. Yeah, perfect.

Grace Edison

00:31

I I'm happy to do that. So we'll talk about your business and what's kind of going on and when we before we went live Sumaya was just saying that we had planned to do this a few weeks ago, and, and at the time, one of its I think it's one of those things where when we don't have a lot of time to think about something, we're just like, yes, excited, this is gonna be great. And then time goes by. And I think you were saying like, things have happened. And then we almost think like, what, what on earth am I going to talk about and we start to overthink? Right? It's just this natural thing. I think that happens. And we were talking about just like, oh, kind of being tired, which to me is just an August vibe. Like I don't I think in the Northern Hemisphere, we get into the thick of like the end of summer. Usually there's a bit of a heatwave where I live. I don't know about you, but you are also in the mountains, I think. Yes. Yeah, me too. Okay, hang on, let me just make sure that we're good to go. Yes, we are here. We're good. So there's kind of that like, you know, end of summer we know, fall is coming. I think we're all kind of sorry, I think we're all conditioned to, you know, start to gear up for the fall because we used to go back to school. And there's just that general have been calling it the over culture, which makes me think of overlord but like the over culture of just what everyone's kind of doing. So even if we aren't kids aren't going back to school because I know you homeschool or your your daughter is unschooled, right? Yeah, we still have that, like, oh, September is coming. And it's sort of like the start of the year. And then the heatwave doesn't help. And we get into this sort of like tired mode. So we both are tired today. And everybody else is feeling like tired on a Friday in the middle of August, and it's hot out and you're like, oh, my gosh, the Summer is almost gone. We feel you. So all that being said. So my and I have something in common, which is that we both used to teach yoga. I mean, we have a few things. But are you are you still in the yoga world?

Speaker 1

02:39

Well, I have one class and week that I teach on zoom as a volunteer, and it's to a group of young Burmese girls who live in but go about an hour outside of Yangon. And that's my one class a week I've been doing for I think over a year now. haven't taught much otherwise, since the pandemic. But primarily I've been teaching yoga and when organizing, you know, yoga related events, for immigrant refugee women, and so still very much passionate about yoga, but it's not, you know, as much a part of my life as it used to be. Yeah, I

Grace Edison

03:21

feel that. Do you think that it has informed? Or does it still inform? Like, do you feel like that has been an important part of how you how you be in your business now. Being in your business.

Speaker 1

03:39

Most definitely, I am really grateful for you know, my years of study and practicing yoga and all the tools that it has helped me to just be focused and you know, centered as much as possible when working in my business because as entrepreneurs, there's a million reasons to not be focused and centered on any given daily basis. And so just knowing that I have those tools is really helpful. And then being able to share tools with my clients is really helpful. But also we've seen such a huge shift in you know, the yoga and wellness industry over the past couple of years. And I'm also kind of like a No BS yoga teacher to like, yeah, so there's that

Grace Edison

04:30

Yeah, well and I I mean, I'm right there with you, I think on on that and I also am not teaching at all but I've realized lately that the teachings like the the practices, or let's just say the, the, I think like the the observances of yoga never really leave because you can't unlearn or unloose that or unloose that's a double, you can't lose. You can't lose that awareness. I think once you have it and And we noticed that if we've taught, we certainly noticed those things like within ourselves, but within clients as well, like when we are when we feel a somatic, even when we're on Zoom. Right. So I think that there is something to be said. And the reason I bring this up is that I just think there's something to be said, even though I don't, I don't put it at the front of my like, I, you know, I am a sales coach. But I also have million our trained yoga teacher, because I don't really teach it anymore. But I think it is worth saying in that you do have that. I guess, ability to sort of observe when a client is kind of getting stuck, or they're in something within they're not breathing, right. Like those things are indications of something. And so I'm asking you this, I think because I think it's such a huge value to work with someone who gets the business side of things, but who also gets the being in a body side of things. Because like, we're we're here in these meat sacks. And I, even as a yoga teacher, someone who taught and owned a studio for a long time I breathing is the hardest thing for me, of all of the things the body has to do. Because I forget to breathe, I hold my breath. I talk a lot. I'm always I feel tension. And I think that it's helpful. And I'm maybe I'll ask this as a question like, do you find that when you're working with someone, and there's a sticky spot, like something is challenging or difficult, you have those tools to kind of draw on to be able to just say like, okay, you know, I can feel that maybe we've got to move through something in order to get the thing done, right.

Speaker 1

06:42

Absolutely. And, you know, as a, you know, marketing consultant, it's not something that I really thought would come up as much as it does. But it comes up all the time in my work with clients. And you know, I usually am pretty thoughtful about the ways that I engage with it, you know, the stuff, let's just call this stuff when it comes up, right? Because I'm very intentional as a professional about staying within my scope of practice. And that is not something all coaches do. But I know what my lane is, and I, you know, try very hard to stay within that. But I also am very much an active listener and just like a caring and compassionate person, or at least I try to be

Grace Edison

07:34

I definitely noticed that about you. When we first chatted like you, I can tell you're keenly observing. So I years ago, when I was really thick into the yoga stuff, I started to watch people listen, I know that sounds so. Like what you want, what, how do you watch people do something that's like kind of passive, but watching watching people listen is something that I really had to learn to do. Because often when I'm listening, you could say it's because of my ADHD you can say it's a learned behavior. You could say it's just anxiety, whatever, but I'm usually doing something else. So I'm like partially listening, but I'm not really listening with my whole body or I'm thinking about my sorry, my response. And so I have a habit of watching people listen, and I definitely noticed that you you can I can see listening, you know.

Speaker 1

08:30

Yeah, I've never heard someone say that before that really are watching you listen, but I love that. I think that's such a great skill to have. But I do notice when I'm talking to people, like I'm very keenly aware of whether or not people are listening, you know, and so I definitely understand what where you're coming from. But what I wanted to say is that you know, what yoga has taught me and also just your I was also an eye or Vedic health professional for many years and was in clinical practice for years, you know, before becoming a consultant. And so I've spent a lot of time listening to other people, you know, just like doing intakes and all of that. And you know, what I tried to do you know, even with my marketing clients is just be present for what comes up and just validate how people are feeling and my Aveda Teacher He said to me once that healing begins the moment we feel heard, and I've carried that with me for you know, ever because it's it was one of the most impactful things I learned in Ayurveda school is just just simply to listen to someone is really healing.

Grace Edison

09:54

I thank you for sharing that with that gift with me because I But I just feel that on such a deep level, and I will say that when it comes to like to bridge the that to the marketing stuff when it comes to marketing, what I personally have found is that oftentimes, a big majority of it is that I just need, I just want someone to hear me through a, like a kind of all over the place complex idea, or I'm ideating something. And I need to put it out into the like, out of my mind out into the ethers so that it can kind of like want to talk about irate it's like God has to go through a transformation process where it comes from, like wind, air, ether through fire friction, and sometimes that's through like speaking into someone else. And having them even tease it out or ask questions, to bring it into physical earth like to bring it into physical manifest. And I think a lot of times that part is missing, when we go to work with someone on our marketing is like they how do I explain this, you know, how we want to really like give people like, we want to really do do really good work for them so often will like insert things or will make I do this all the time make a recommendation, when actually it's not even time for that yet. Like we don't need to show people our stuff, we really just need to receive them right in here. Like what is the idea who is the ideal client, but talk through it for a little while. And let me just like witness, bear witness and hold space for that? You know, I so I think that's so important.

Speaker 1

11:35

Absolutely. And I think that whenever I'm doing an intake, in, you know, my marketing sessions, so before, you know, I onboard a new client, we have a discovery session. And it really is more of an intake session for me to ask questions and learn more. And it's so interesting how, you know, I will ask one question like, What are your sales goals for the next six months? And then their answer, like may or may not have anything to do with sales goals? I'm just like, taking notes.

Grace Edison

12:12

That is like the one that is one of the biggest things I've noticed in doing sales calls for so long. And I will often say, answer this however you want. Like, I'm going to ask a question. And if, if I really need an answer to that question, I'll ask it again, maybe in a different way. But whatever that question made them think to say, is relevant and important. And we use even have conversations on the sales teams, I was on about getting annoyed with people who wouldn't answer the question, right. But I started to realize that interpretation is everything and the way they've maybe interpreted the question or what it made them think of, or oh, I want to tell you this one thing before I answer that question, like, wherever people want to take you, I think it's important to Yeah, kind of direct and guide, but at the same time, let it let it kind of flow and, and if someone feels safe, and willing to share, you know, different aspects of themselves, it's relevant, it's important, and it's, it's gonna still give you the answer that you're you'll they'll get there, you know, to whatever it is you asked, and maybe that was just the sometimes that was the safer direction to go in before they answered the big some of that sometimes those questions, so marketing and sales based questions for me when I asked them, and this is why I try to get on sales calls often because like having that it's like with yoga, it's like if you're not doing it, it's kind of hard to teach it. Great. Getting on calls. And then like being on the flip side of like, questions can be what's the word? Like not interrogating? But accusatory, sometimes. Yes. You know, like, when someone asked me what I really want, I'm like, Oh, my God. I'm so anxious when someone like I don't know. Because I don't know that I judged myself, right.

Speaker 1

14:06

Yeah. Yeah, I think some of the questions that I asked in my intake session can bring up a lot of fields for people. And it's not because I'm intentionally trying to, but I have no idea that they even have the fields until I asked the question, right. One of the biggest ones is that I do just ask in the sales calls, or the they're not really sales calls, but my you know, intake calls, what is your target audience or your ideal client? And I am amazed at how many people just hate that question.

Grace Edison

14:44

Like you ask the question, and they'll be like, you'll hear a noise you know, or like an eye roll. I'm always watching for like, just so subtle facial changes where it's like that question again, Buck. Yeah. I was gonna say to you like, well, let me ask you a question. Why did you say sales calls and then say didn't know, well not really sales calls? Is it because they're not sales calls? Or is it because you don't like calling them sales calls?

Speaker 1

15:18

Well, in my sales and onboarding process as a whole, which I do have a process for, there are parts of that that are more informational, or just like an exchange of information, whether that's me providing education to the potential client about, you know, like our services and what we offer, or it's just me asking questions and getting information. So like, technically, it's part of a whole sales and onboarding process. But that particular session, where I do an intake, it's not really as much of a sales pitch, really, you know, it's more of me gathering information, but I am definitely still offering value in that session, what I find is that I'm kind of inserting little bits and pieces of, you know, coaching or consulting in between.

Grace Edison

16:09

Well, I think they're all this, I only bring this up because I hear it in one way or another, like, often, whenever I'm talking with, you know, folks about about sales calls. And I think that they are all of the above, I think like we've kind of gotten to this place where especially in the online space, where we, we don't want people have like we've had bad experiences on sales calls, they've been like pressure based or manipulative, or whatever. And I think that I would love for us to kind of get back to feeling like a sales call is a consulting call in and of itself, it's also going to have elements of coaching, we should be looking for that, like, we should want to have that experience. And we should want to provide that experience, because it's kind of like it's all of the above it isn't. It isn't intake, right? Like it is an intake, because you're trying to find out what's going on for that person to see if you can even help them. When I was a financial advisor, we used to call them like, needs analysis or a fact find, right. And I used to say like, there's gonna be some hard facts, and there's gonna be some soft facts where these are things like how old are you and what, you know, what are you currently making and whatever. But how long have you been in business? Those are hard facts. And then there's things like, how do you want this to look? Or how do you want to feel? What you know, what, what are you trying to design? Those are visionary based things, right? Like, we're envisioning those things. So I think it's like all of the above. But what do you what's your favorite part about? The way like the way that you help people now that maybe is a little bit of a surprise to you? Like, when you think about what you provide? What are some of the outcomes that you are like, yes, you know, that maybe are a little bit, I wouldn't call them sneaky, but you know, what I'm trying to say like the stuff that's obvious, like

Speaker 1

17:59

what I offer in terms of like, my sales process, or whatever, in terms of like, my actual service, your services? Yeah. Oh, my services? Well, I think that what I want for people to discover in working with me is that what we call marketing, in fact, is really just our way of creatively expressing our gifts in the world. So like, the way that we're talking about it on social media is very much like the creative energy that we're sharing with the rest of the world about the guests that we offer. And whenever I frame it that way, it does help people to relax a little bit. I do think that people that I work with specific, specifically in the health and wellness industry, are very intimidated and overwhelmed by technology. And so I feel like I often see people getting stuck in that. And so, you know, while I'm not necessarily coaching people like on that, because I'm really providing consulting on strategy and done for you services, but just the way I show up in the way that I approach the work with, with my clients is that I'm also kind of gently helping you to reframe what marketing is and how we're doing it so that it just feels more natural, and that it's like demystified in a way. Yeah.

Grace Edison

19:35

Right. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's so you know, perspective really, I think or the way that we've like the I don't know what the word is. It's like the pressure that we put on something changes it so much, right? Which it makes sense if you think about like from a from like a pressure cooker even perspective. When you put pressure on Something that changes it. And I think we often I love how you worded it, I tried to write it down, it was something along the lines of like marketing is creative energy. It's like how we show or offer our gifts. And I like that it feels so much better in my body. Because when I'm thinking about marketing, it's like, you know, this thing that I don't even know, it's like this. It almost has an entity to it, that's very, like, pushy and sort of rigid, and a certain way that it has to be done rather than how can I show and share and display and you know, kind of, I like to think of it as you know, when we're little kids, and we're like on the playground, or we're at school, or we're somewhere we're at a birthday party. And we're like, do you want to be my friend, like, we just see somebody that we're like, you want to be my friend. That's a little bit like that for me, where it's kind of like, I'm going to show you, like, you know, some bits and pieces of who I am. And see if like, maybe you you like that little bit of peace and want to want to see more of me or want to spend more time with me or want to be my friend. And it kind of takes some of the pressure off. But yeah, I think the technology but also sometimes I remember like when I was sticking the IRA to coaching program stuff, and we were all trying to like, you know, talk about our courses and the marketing stuff. Just even like adding more friends on Facebook, everyone was like, I don't want to add more friends on Facebook. And I was like, Well, you have you have the option of doing it this way. Or you can like go and go to networking groups or knock on people's doors. Like, we've got to kind of be like, Hi, I'm here. So deed pressurizing or demystifying. I feel like demystifying, we want to maybe mystify it. So do you do you typically work mostly with like when you say health and wellness? Is there like a particular? Who do you get the most Like, who do you understand? They're sort of, yeah, they're resistance the most? Don't I mean, when I say that?

Speaker 1

22:18

Well, I work with the, you know, a variety of different health and wellness professionals. And for some reason, unknown to me. Quite a few of my clients right now are actually six coaches, which I think is awesome.

Grace Edison

22:33

You know, what's funny, is I'm talking to a sex coach after this, and I'm so excited.

Speaker 1

22:37

Yeah. And, you know, I don't necessarily brand myself as like, this is what I'm really about. And to me, it's kind of funny, because I'm, like, very single. I'm, like a single mom, I'm just like, my life was kind of boring. But um, my undergrad was in public health and women and gender studies. And I've been like a queer and poly person my whole life and have also been in and out of like, the kink, BDSM community. And so I definitely have a very unique perspective, you know, of that realm, you know, or that industry. And I just really enjoyed the content. You know, I'm like, creating content and helping to strategize content for a few of my clients who are six coaches right now. And it's just so fun. Like, I'm just really enjoying it. Yeah.

Grace Edison

23:28

Oh, okay. Two things that like, came up for me was like, You need to say that not health and wellness. Like, I think you definitely need to say that more, because first of all, Have you not noticed that in Yoga and Ayurveda, we talk very little about sex and sexual health? And be it? Like, how is it that we have a whole module of like, Avianca and self massage, and we don't talk about masturbation at all, like, what the fuck is up with that is what I want to know, that always blew my mind that like, the tantra stuff was always washed over here, and we were all kind of case so we're gonna, like drink more water, and like, massage our shoulders. It's like, why are we not talking about like, I'm about to turn 40 And let me just say that talking with and working with with sex coaches has drastically improved my sex life. And we're saying this on a live but like, I'm here in any of my yoga teacher training or Ayurveda training, where we talking about that shit and that was always to me like such a huge missing piece like, you know, you know, like, in Ayurveda, like, well, in westernized Ayurveda, we sort of talked about, like having a keystone habit or whatever like one thing that's gonna like help you do the rest of them. Probably masturbation, probably that's everyone's keystone habit. Like, spend time with your goddamn self. And I think that so if you if you were like, I think this is real. I I think it's so important. And I think that more of that needs to be brought into, like, the forefront of health and wellness. Because I think that it's just this piece that, like, if I mean, you and I could probably go into the whole, like chakra system, but like, if you're closed off and your bottom two or one, what where's the flow even go when you can't go with the flow?

Speaker 1

25:26

Exactly? Well, I also want to just name to that, like the yoga and wellness space in general is very heteronormative in the West, at least, you know, and even not in the West. Um, you know, and there have been places where I have worked as a yoga teacher, or even as a spa manager where it was not safe for me to be out. I actually didn't even come out professionally until a couple of years ago, because there were just places I worked where it wasn't safe for me to talk. Like they were just openly really homophobic people where I worked. And so, you know, I think part of my, you know, brand has, it's interesting, because I never really thought about, you know, being queer as being part of my brand, it would never really occurred to me, but I just started putting it on the front page of my website, like when I launched my new website a year and a half ago, because I was like, if this is a problem for you, then we just need to not work. You know, first and foremost, yeah, and second of all, like, I also want for other queer folks to know that if they come to work with me that it is like a safe space for them, you know, and so that for whatever reason, is become a big part of my brand. And I think that's kind of why, like, all of a sudden, like, I have all these, like, folks that are queer and like sex positive, and stuff that are kind of coming into my space is because I'm just being really explicitly upfront, like, yeah, you can come here, and this is like a safe space. And you can just talk to me about your clitoris like all the time, and it's totally cool in our marketing.

Grace Edison

27:07

Um, I think that I think that that that's an interesting, I feel like that's an interesting topic of discussion, just in terms of like, branding, but also like, part of branding, as far as I am concerned is like being very upfront about who you are. And whether that's queer or neurodivergent, or someone who's on the spectrum or like deals with bipolar, whatever. Like, I think that there and because people branded the shit out of mom being a mom mompreneur, like I don't give a fuck. I have a mom but like, I would wait and for me because I use a lot of like clips and penises and stuff in my in my sexual fruit marketing, because I love it. Um, I don't have any other reason other than that, truly, I just there's a playfulness to it, I think and my mom was a sex educator. So like, nice was a came to my grade 12 Biology. She was a public health nurse, but came to my grade 12 biology class and taught taught Listen, you're gonna love the shit out of this. This conversation has taken a turn, mod and presentation to my like 12th grade as Americans would say, but grade 12 As we say in Canada called Listen, are you ready? You're not ready. wet days, dry days, sticky days. And then then ask people to go like,

Unknown Speaker

28:32

Were you in the class?

Grace Edison

28:33

Yes. But fro pretty sure. Third floor wanted to jump out the window. I was like, oh my god, like I was like, I knew she was coming. But I didn't know the name of the presentation. And like, sure, like my mom, I knew I was the kid that went to school, like six years old and was like everyone gathered around. I'm gonna tell you all about the sperms and stuff. Like I was like, I knew all the shit always like very, very early and so again very heteronormative for sure. Like definitely not having conversations about tripping but like there was I was giving people kind of this the you know, the lowdown on like, just anatomy and stuff and parents would call and be like, Oh my god, Grace told everyone about this. Thank you so much like because it was accurate information. And like now I don't have to have the talk. But she had this presentation what days right a sticky days. And it was really all about like, we had never been taught that about like, about cycles, right? Like about like, everyone knew that we got a period but nobody was talking about. Like, when were when were we most likely to actually I am in, get pregnant and stuff. And so it was but here's the best part of the story. This was around when Austin Powers was the thing Okay, my, my mom said, um, like, Tell me some words for you know, like, being aroused or something and no one said anything. And then finally someone yelled out horny. And my mom turned around and was like, Oh, baby, hey, I was like, I'm gonna kill myself right now in this moment. Like, for real for real. So I don't know where I was going with that. But I just wanted to say that. I just want to tell that story. There was a point it wasn't quite

Speaker 1

30:33

well, being just about, you know, how old

Grace Edison

30:37

branding and branding? Yeah, yeah. So I think that I think that's what I was saying is why I do put a lot of like, I want there to be like, there is a playfulness to it all. And I just grew up very comfortable, like with bodies and stuff. And I think that you definitely, I think it's like, I think it's important a for, you know, for us for everyone to be saying like I, I am these things not because of labels, but because of safety. And because of like commonality and because of wanting to wanting to be able to not have some weird surprise like that. I've heard of that happening so much where people are like, Oh, very inclusive, we're very inclusive, we use stock photos of all these different kinds of people. And then you go in, and it's like, there's some homophobic shit or some transphobic shit, or some, you know, that shows up in the fucking community. And then it's like, it's awful. It's fucking awful. So I think like, put it say it, everyone should say, and if you're not that shit, then you should leave it off or say, like, we're homophobic, people aren't gonna do that.

Speaker 1

31:48

Some people do. You know, I actually was referred a client, maybe this is a few months ago, or maybe a year ago. It was a while ago, by a colleague of mine. I guess she she came to him. He also works in marketing, but he was like, this isn't really the best fit for us, but I think she might be a better fit for you. And you know, she works in the health and wellness field. And I was like, Cool. Do you have like her website or anything? You know, any info you can send me about her just preliminarily? And he was like, yeah, like, here's, like, her profiler website or something. And I went to the website, and I guess she works for like an umbrella organization of some kind. She's a practitioner of a very specifically technique. And I went to their website, and it was kind of the main umbrella organizations website, and I clicked on their Facebook, just out of curiosity, check it out, you know, their stuff. Internet stalking my potential clients. That's the thing I do.

Speaker 1

32:54

And I was like, wow, like, yeah, just blatantly like homophobic like on their professional Facebook page. Now that not just homophobic but lots of other gross ish that I didn't want to deal with. And I was just like, it was lovely talking to you. And I just talked to her for a few minutes. And then I was like, this is not the right fit.

Grace Edison

33:21

No, well, and I think like, again, it's a little bit tricky, because I've run into some situation, you know, like, we've got unconscious bias, we've got internalized, like, we don't, you know, like, internalized. I would say, specifically, the things that I've I've encountered is, is like, you know, internalized transphobia. And then folks being like, but I like I don't feel I have, you know, I have friends, you know, it's like well, but you made this comment, you made a statement about being annoyed with like, calling breast chest or whatever. And that is right. Like, I think that's the other thing is that sometimes it is kind of tricky to decipher. And I again, I will bring this back to like why I think it's so important to do sales calls. Because if we go back to the yoga stuff, we can kind of, even if someone hasn't explicitly said something, we can kind of get a feeling for our level of comfort with that person. And if something does come up, if we've got that level of comfort and safety, that maybe we can have a conversation about it, and maybe there's an opportunity for you know, like, Oh, my sister had a conversation with a guy she was traveling and she dances and she specifically has been learning Dancehall and has been traveling a lot and had a conversation with a guy about a week ago or so about all about all of this and and they got through the conversation. Like he was like, Wow, that really makes a lot of sense. Like I thank you like I understand now how my thinking was harmful. And so sometimes there's opportunity to have conversation, but I also think like, is that your job? Do you have the energy for that kind of labor? Let's say, and I do. So what are your thoughts I guess on. So first of all, we've we've kind of we've, I'm, I'm happy that the conversation went in this direction, because like, I would love as my feedback for you, I would love to see you talking more about how much you love working with, like sex coaches, and therapists, or queer, you know, like folks who I have I know of someone who is like a queer sex therapist, and like, her shit is amazing. And it's like, I am, you know, in a hetero relationship, but I learned so much from her content, because it just has a very different feel to it. It's like a lot more. I don't know what the word is. Anyway, doesn't matter. It just like, I think if you say these things, this is not rehearsed. Obviously, I think if you say these things louder, you're probably going to end up with and I'm not a big fan of niching. Honestly, like, but I didn't know any of this when you were saying like health and wellness professionals, like I was like, Oh, smileworks with weight loss coaches. We just probably the furthest from the truth when you're saying that or yoga teachers. But again, I think of yoga as like this very prudish. Let's talk about everything except for our crutches.

Unknown Speaker

36:28

Right, right. I get it. Yeah. And

Grace Edison

36:34

as if they're an elbow, right, there's that too. Like, they're not? They're not? They're not? They're not? Hey, go ahead.

Speaker 1

36:46

Well, what's interesting is that, you know, many of my clients over the years have been in the Yoga and Ayurveda realm. And it's just been recently that that has shifted, because I put on my website that, you know, now I'm queer. And I've started to talk a little bit more about it on my social media, not all the time, but still put little glimpses of things here and there. And it's just interesting to notice who is attracted to me now versus when I first started, you know, because when I first started consulting, which was like five and a half years ago, after leaving my corporate management career, I was kind of tiptoeing, you know, the waters of putting myself out there on social media, it was kind of a slow start. And I wasn't really sure what I wanted to talk about, or, you know, it's just still just kind of figuring it out. And as I have started to get into a flow of like, okay, these are the things I do want to talk about. It's been very interesting to see how it has shifted in terms of the people that are attracted to me, you know, that one that wants to work with me, the people that are booking calls with me?

Grace Edison

38:03

Yeah. Well, and even from when I first spoke to you, like, you just have a different, like, You look different, you have a more like, in habit in your body energy. I don't know how else to explain it. Like, I don't know, there's like a confidence that maybe, is, is has increased, even like it's been several months, I think so since we first chatted, but I also was going to say that there will be folks who are this. And again, this is kind of my problem with niching is like we think that if we say that we are this, that we're only going to that we're limiting, or we're only going to have people that fall into that very specific category who are like queer sex coaches, where actually what I think happens is, there are folks who are not necessarily but they're very attracted to the fact that that, that you do that work, and that they also know that they will, they will feel, like seen and heard and all of their, and all of their parts and all of their parts, and all of like all parts of themselves, right? Like that would be very attractive, or attractive to me just even seeing you, right? Because like, we've we've got our pink hair and our tattoos and like, you know, there's just something to me to where I can, once I went with a yoga while I was working for a woman, she she who shall not be named, we went to a conference and I had just started to get tattoos. So this was my first arm that I had, and I think I had this one. And there were a couple others and, and people kept coming up to me and they were like, oh, like I love your tattoo like magnetrons cube, like, that's sick, you know? And she was sort of like, and finally at the end of the trip, she said to me, I get it. Like it's a calling card like you find your people and I'm like, Well, the interesting thing is like people without tattoos will come up to me too. Because there is something about tattoos like we've had this we had this belief for a long time that like oh tattoo To they were a sign of, I'm not sure, but they're expensive. So there, they should be a sign of that. But she was like, Oh, I get it. And I'm like, actually, everywhere I go, when I travel, people will stop and talk to me because something about the tattoos allows them to feel like I'm approachable.

Speaker 1

40:22

Yeah, it's really interesting. I've traveled quite a bit over the years, like digital nomad kind of style. And there's countries I've been to where it's frowned upon to have tattoos. But even in those countries, where it's like, technically frowned upon, I just got back my most recent trip was to the Dominican Republic, and somebody was there told me that, like, it was a local that told me this, they're like, the people think that if you have tattoos that you're in a gang, and I was like, Okay, I heard, you know. And it's also like, 100 degrees outside, so I'm not covering tattoos all the time. But I'm actually so many people came up and complimented them, like, local kind of people were just like, I love your tattoos. And so it made me wonder to like, and also like, people compliment on, you know, my hair and like, stuff like that. And I wonder, like, how many people just like, secretly want to express themselves more creatively than they do, but they're just like, afraid or like, they can't because their job or like their husbands and freak out or like, whatever, right? Yeah.

Grace Edison

41:30

I was gonna say, did you look like you look, now when you were working in corporate?

Speaker 1

41:34

Well, I did have tattoos. But most of my tattoos can be covered, like pretty easily. So it was like, good enough. As a past, I think I had at my last management job I had, like, I still had my like, undercut, you know, or whatever. And I think my hair was like, maybe red, like dark red. So it wasn't like as like vivid, but I mean, I could pass, you know, like, I wasn't like, I could pass. I could pass as a hetero normative femme person. But

Grace Edison

42:08

what you said, yeah, sorry, I don't want to cut you off. But I have a thought, go ahead.

Speaker 1

42:15

Oh, well, what I was gonna say is that there was a couple of times where I like cut my hair really short or something, we're at a place where I was working. And like, was given very, like, this kind of energy by like, my supervisors who were just like, like, I can't work at a spa if I have short hair and have a vagina.

Grace Edison

42:35

Yeah. Explain what the thing about like, I think I think you're, you're right about the, like, the secret desires that we have to be able to express ourselves. And like, I think that, that people with tattoos really get it. They're like, you know, we start talking about like, Oh, that's so like, I have a Haku tattoo from Spirited Away and it's underneath. It's under the neath. So I was at a queer coffee shop getting the best coffee in Boise, Idaho, and I was in line. And that someone behind me was like, is that a Haku tattoo? And I was like it is. And then they were like, I have one too. And we got our picture taken together. And I posted it. And everyone's like, you could be like, you could be siblings, like, you look like you're related. It was almost bizarre. Like truly, like we had taken each other's cell phones. And I just wrote and was like, everyone's saying, we look related. And they were like, me, too. Like I posted the picture and everyone that you're like, sister or cousin or whatever, because we just looked like so. I've had so many amazing encounters like just, you know, farts in the wind. They're like there for a moment with people that I'm never gonna see again, but like, it's so connecting and like to me, I don't think we necessarily get tattoos and realize that for that reason, but I also think like, I wear my shark flip flops everywhere I go, when I travel, I have pink hair, I have a bunch of metal in my face. It's like, for whatever reason, that seems to be this like rebellious act of like, I'm just going to show up as and be mine show pieces of myself. And it's one of my favorite other than like, I love the tattoo process. It's one of my favorite things about having tattoos is that no matter where I go, it transcends all up all potential. separateness, right? Like, it doesn't matter. Like everyone will talk to me, people who do look like they're actually in gangs like healthy no matter, you know, like, people will come up and just be like, Oh, that's a really cool tattoo and like, it really is always amazing to me because I'm like, You look like someone who was judging my tattoos or you look like someone who, you know, doesn't give a fuck about talking to anyone and now here we are having this beautiful conversation. I have stickers on the back of my phone On, and this like it says vasectomy is preventive abortions. I'll get over it just gotta be dramatic. First keep talking, I'm diagnosing you. And then I have a whole bunch on my iPad. And there, I forgot that they were on. Like I'm Canadian. This font you travel with this shit? No, you know, you're not, you're not gonna ruffle feathers. I was on the plane, though, in the States. And I was sitting next to this guy and his wife and kids almost knocked my desk over his wife and kids were like, on the other side of the row, or aisle. And when we got off the plane, I had this moment, it was so strange. I had this moment of like, shit, like, I'm in the States, maybe don't like broadcast your political and, you know, social justice views on whatever. And he like, chase me down. I could hear him shuffling behind me. And I was like, Oh, my god is this guy, you know what's going on? So I turned around, and he was like, Excuse me? And I was like, Yeah, and he's like, your stickers, or whatever he started with. I was like, yeah, it was like ready to fight and like, drop on my shit. He's like, I love your stickers. And I was like, Oh, thank you, you should see the ones on my iPad. And he was like I did. They're awesome. Because because they just get worse, the larger the device, like, just as a bot and it has a point sticking out of it. It says blowed out your hours. And then like, you know, fuck all the way off and stuff like that. Even on here. It's like, I have this huge penis. You know, men's mental health matters. I've got weirdos unite. This one's my favorite says, I forgive and it's Crosstown assises. Fuck you. So these things, I think like, if we get back to the marketing conversation, it's like, we're we as being ourselves and as showing up as ourselves, be it in the airport or the grocery store online or wherever it is. Being in writing or pictures or video, I think that there is a deeper level of us really being able to, and I know their safety issues for sure. But and like

Grace Edison

47:00

having support from someone like you who's going to help with bringing people more into like, like who they are all fully them like all parts of themselves, like fully who they are. And I think that because you're such an astute listener, because I can see you listening, which is like amazing. That stuff's all really important. Because sometimes we will say something to someone we feel safe with that we're like, Well, this is actually a part of who I am. And I don't really tell many people that and maybe it becomes a little more comfortable. When we work with someone who's like, well, you, you should say that more there are tons of people who are looking for that. And that's the end of my thoughts. Thank you.

Speaker 1

47:45

Thank you. Well, even when I was working in the yoga Ayurveda realm, I have always been a person for whatever reason, that has this thing tattooed on their forehead. That's like telling me anything.

Grace Edison

48:01

Forget that, like, just read over your eyebrows, like telling me anything. OB actually,

Speaker 1

48:09

people tell me so much wild ish that I don't need to know even in marketing and I'm like, Okay, thank you for sharing that with me. I really appreciate your vulnerability

Grace Edison

48:27

I once was, when I well I have this I have a really stupid tattoo behind my ear. I don't even know where the fuck it is. It's just went in because I wanted to get the word listen behind my ear. And because it's just the thing, like I wouldn't be able to see it, but I would know it was there. You know, like, because that's my biggest challenge in life is shutting the fuck up. And so I went in and they were like, No, we're not doing that. Like it's not even gonna look good and blah, blah, lies anyway, they put this I got like a son or something. And it Danny my partner always says it looks like a cat's asshole. He's like, and then that cats awful you have bind your ear and I'm just like, cool. I have a cat that's all by my ear. So I think that you were saying something and I interrupted you.

Speaker 1

49:09

Oh, just that I am really grateful that people feel comfortable sharing this information with me. And you know, I don't really know how to advertise this without inviting more unwanted information. But like, how do I sell myself is like the Tomie anything?

Grace Edison

49:33

I think that's it right there. I think that's it right there. Like and I think, um, I don't know so my friend. I feel like I have to send you there like you. So T Duncan and they are in I want to say New Orleans and we met through the iron beta everything and we were kind of like the the couple badasses at the back of the class who were like we would go to the retreat and then we'd be out like smoking. And like everybody come and be like, are you guys smoking and we were like no with like, like wine or so I'm tea teaches punk rock yoga, which like I thought was you go to yoga and you listen to punk music and that's not actually what it is at all and then there but there was a whole kind of group of people doing this sort of basically come and fucking be yourself. And it was like so cool T came to my studio like a bunch of years ago and just kind of like taught all this really cool shit and definitely would be someone I feel like you would enjoy knowing if you felt like it. But I think that there is this there is something really important about saying that, like, you can tell me anything. Because even if it's not going to be front and center on a web page, or we get to a point where like, we really have to be pretty comfortable with all parts of ourselves. You know, and I grew up playing sports, and I wasn't allowed to do nerd shit. I wasn't it just wasn't. And now I'm like reading graphic novels. And I'm super into Neil Gaiman. And I found a whole group of other online entrepreneurs that are like nerding the fuck out on the Sandman and just like, right, and so the end, like I got my Funko Pops. It's this was not something, though, that I was really allowed to do as a kid because I was an athlete. So I think having someone that we can tell everything to doesn't mean it's going to go everywhere. But it can the essence of it. If like if and if we if we aren't allowed to be something, we can't embody it. So even if we don't say it, if it's not embodied, then we're still kind of my friend of mine came out, I don't know, I'm gonna say 10 years ago. And before she came out, she was married to a man. And she was feeling really sick and had a lot of vertigo was going to my mom, because my mom does lots of holistic treatments like ear candling. And, you know, Reiki and stuff. And we just hung out when I went home. And she said to me, like, did your mom know? And I was like, Well, my mom knew something was off. Because you had vertigo. And now it's all about indecision and fear of change and everything. And she was like, and I'm like, but yeah, like when you came out? My mom was like, oh, that's, that's yeah, like, I could feel it, there was something. And I think that when we're not like, able to be ourselves or like, really embody those things, or feel safe, then like, how do we do our business? Like, they're not separate? That That makes sense?

Speaker 1

52:34

Yes, absolutely. And I actually just did this really interesting podcast interview on a podcast called how people change. I love the premise of it, which is like, it's like disproving the theory that people don't change or whatever. And you can come up with that bullshit. I know, right? But I was talking about, you know, kind of my own personal journey, and just sharing how once I was able to break free of believing that I had to act or show up in the world in a certain way, you know, because everyone else told me to, and a lot of it that I was sharing was about how, you know, if I did a certain thing, I would be a bad mom, like, I had all this fear of like, being a bad mom, or being labeled as a bad mom, because I like, didn't want to have a fancy corporate job. And I wanted to, like sell my house and travel the world. And I wanted to let you know, do all these things that people were just like,

Grace Edison

53:39

you know, that, like, makes me hold my breath, you know, like, oh, like, doing all those things, how it prevents, like, you're like, I we could go so into that and like, we're up on time. And I have another call. So like, first of all, I think we should part do part two, part two. And then because I feel like we you know, like when you're right about to get off of therapy, and you hit and like, you're like, you hit the thing. And they're like, so we're up on time, and I'm like, um, but what I would love for you to do is post any, like links under the thread in the live, and then send them over to me via email so that when we send the email out with the with the recording, that folks can find you and go check out your shit. And I think I'm always gonna recommend that, you know, people book a conversation with you just to get the feel for what it might be like to work with you. You are an immaculate listener. I don't know if that's even the right word, but you were someone that I feel like I can watch, listen and kind of be like, Oh, that's how you really listen, you know, and seeing it and I also think that what we got into talking about today, just around like, marketing really is, as you said, like this creative way of showing who we are in our gifts and I think that having a having someone who you can tell Anything to help you with that is essential. I don't want to if it's not that, yeah, yeah. So let's follow up. I'm gonna hop off to my next call. I never have enough time because we always just get into we hit that like, Jesus. Yeah. But I will. I'm speaking with a sex coach right after this. So like, this is my day. I'm so excited. So I super appreciate you. I'm gonna figure out how to end the stream. I'll download it, we'll send it over. It'll be a Vimeo link and then anyone who's listening to the replay, let us know if you have questions for Samaya or want to get in touch and we'll make sure to send your links out and and like pick you up and highlight the work that you do and then we'll book another call.

Unknown Speaker

55:43

Sounds great. Thank you so much is

Grace Edison

55:47

to hand waved. Okay, bye

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