Basically, it's about being a leader, and leaders. We're all leaders here, everyone listening here because if you're a business owner and you own a company, you're leading even if you're just leading yourself, you're leading something. And it's your responsibility to take ownership for your situation.
Welcome to thrive by design, the podcast for ambitious, independent jewelry brands, looking to profit from their products, get ready to make more and sell more doing what you love, without spending every single waking minute doing it. Hey, and if you're a creative fashion or product based business, I want to welcome you to the show. I'll be dropping big tips on launching, growing and scaling your business. So you can spend more of your precious time using your creativity to make money. You ready? All right, let's do this.
Welcome to the thrive by design podcast, Episode Number 319. Hey there, it's Tracy Matthews, Chief visionary Officer of flourish and thrive Academy and the host of the thrive by design Podcast. I am also officially an author now of the desire brand effect book, as I hope you will get on the waitlist for that book over at desiredbrandeffectivebook.com. More on that in just a moment. I am coming in with a very special extra episode this week on purpose. Now, I've been on a journey this last, you know, just like many of us here listening to this podcast this last year and a half or two with everything that's happened throughout the pandemic and trying to keep energy aligned with what it is that we're trying to create. And I'm not going to lie, it has been a very hard journey for me.
And more recently, I've had to take a look at some of the ways that I've been showing up for myself and my business, I'm going to share some of that with you. I'm also going to give you some other examples of how this plays out in real life. So that you can be accountable with me to get your vibe aligned with what it is that you're trying to create in your life in your business. And the impetus for this episode is stemming from a social media post I did a couple of weeks ago, by the time this goes live, where basically it was a positive quote about attracting your energy and your vibe and someone commented on it and just basically going down a rabbit hole. And I'm going to say of victimhood, and I mean this with compassion in my heart and empathy for their situations and terrible things that happened to them in childhood, that they that were really traumatic experiences.
And what I want to say is a lot of us, including myself, have had a lot of bad things happen to them in their lives. I choose not to talk about them and dwell on them, because I've healed them, I do a lot of trauma work on them. And maybe over the coming weeks, some of it will come out. But you know, from the time that I was 30 years old, I had had more life experience than probably most people had in their entire lifetime, which with a lot of the drama and trauma that I had experienced in my life up until that point.
And the interesting thing is that, you know, people come from a variety of different backgrounds, different life experience, everyone here who's listening today has different confirmation bias based on the experiences that they've had in their life. And those are the things that oftentimes shape our reality if we don't identify what they are right. And I'm going to say this again, because sometimes bad things happen to good people. But it's what you do with those bad things once you heal them to transform and change your perspective of who you are. And so that's what today's episode is going to be about. I don't even really know what I'm going to call it yet. Find out you'll find out when it goes live. But I think that this is really important. And I'm going to be coming on here more talking more about mindset work because it is the most important factor in your success. And I'll explain why in just a minute.
But today I wanted to just talk a little bit more about our sponsors for the episode. sponsor. Number one is the desire brand effect book, I would love to invite you to get on the waitlist for this basically business changing book, I hope it's business changing for you. It's been business changing for me, meaning everything, all the strategies that I teach in this book are things that I've used in my own business to grow. And it's how I identify problems in my business today. So it's the book is called the Desired Brand Effect: How to Stand Out in a Saturated Market with a Timeless Jewelry Brand.
It is fantastic for startups who are just getting their business off the ground to understand the foundational level of what needs to happen in your business. It's great for growing businesses who are hitting growing pains and trying to identify why things are happening, or maybe going sideways and how you can fix those things. And it's great for businesses that are scaling, because we talk a lot about the systems and processes and the team and all the things that you need to have in place. With a scaling business if you're scaling to, you know, millions of dollars and beyond. So it's great for all levels, depending on where you are in business. And I hope that you will get on the waitlist and pick it up when it's available in early November. So if you're interested in learning more head on over to desiredbrandeffect.com and get on the waitlist right there.
And if you would like some support growing your business in the new year, here's your official invite to jump on a call with my girl Natasha over at flourish and thrive and book a complimentary strategy audit. This is perfect for people who are seeking out support a little bit more hand holding or expert coaching mentorship, and are ready to kind of get on the fast track to reaching their goals and crushing them in 2022. And throughout the rest of the year.
So on that strategy audit, we are going to take a look at what's going on in your business, we're going to create a big picture vision of where you're going in your in your career and your business over the next couple of years or so. And then we're going to identify what's happening in your business right now to like, pull out what's going really well and then also identify the roadblocks or the things that are probably preventing you from reaching your goals a lot faster. And you'll walk away with some next steps for what you can do to implement in your business. And if it seems like a good fit, we'll share how one of our programs can help you using our desire brand effect methodology.
So if that sounds good, head on over to flourish, thrive academy.com forward slash strategy. We're starting a new cohorts in the new year. And we want to make sure that if you're interested, you jump on this now because before we know that the new year is gonna come around, and all the things. Plus if you decide to join us before the end of the year, which is great, you can use your investment as a tax write off, which is always a bonus, we're trying to, you know, reduce our tax expense expenditures by the end of the year. So that might be something to consider as well.
Alright, I am going to dive in to this episode. So I've been doing a lot of mindset work myself, mindset is a huge part of things that I talked about in the desire brand effect book, it is a huge part in in what we do over here at flourish and thrive Academy in our momentum coaching program, and in the laying the foundation program. And I want to bring this up because anyone, every single person listening to this podcast today can manifest and create whatever you want in your life and your business. If you get things, all your ducks in a row and your energy lined up your situation, your current situation does not dictate where you're going unless you allow it to, I'm going to repeat that your current situation does not dictate where you're going unless you allow it to it can if you let your current situation take over.
And I think a good understand understanding of this is like thinking about what's happened over the past few years, right? We've had these lock downs and a lot of controls being put on us by society and people and, you know, they're the society's been divided, you know, by politics and all these things, which makes me really sad because I come from the school that all opinions are valid, and that everyone has a right to their belief system. And we all come to better a better society better results, better outcomes, when all sides are considered and we can like collaborate together to come up with the best idea. I think this is important in business is important in society. And the more we are in a place of being told what to do, or what who's right and who's wrong, and there's this divide going on, it becomes really hard. And I know it has been really really hard for me to stay clear and keep my energy clear on what happens because I've been very stressed about what's happening in the world. And for a variety of reasons and primarily because my number one core values are freedom and fun.
So anytime I can't travel and do all the things and and really live out my purpose of running a business, which is to make an impact in the world. And to do that through experiences and things. My soul gets crushed a little bit and it becomes really hard for me to stay positive. And, you know, that's that's a little bit about my journey, you know, you might have a different experience. You know, I you see these memes going around the internet all the time of like, oh, the extroverts are having a really hard time right now and the introverts are loving it, which is kind of true, you know, probably in certain cases. I don't necessarily know that it's interesting. And extroverted thing, I think it's like that maybe people who are like more outgoing and adventurous versus like more shy people who are like this, or homebodies, or whatever.
But there, but there is like the struggle is real, I think, for a lot of people. And so how do you get into a place where you're feeling positive and dealing with the emotional energy that you're putting out, to be able to transform that energy into something that is in a co creation phase, or creating what you want to create, you know, with the energy of the universe, and putting out that vibe. So that's why today, I wanted to discuss the energy that you're putting out there, especially for those of you who are not getting what you want in your life and your business.
Now, let's discuss what I mean, I'm going to give you some examples, because this might not this is a little bit of an esoteric episode. And I want I want to just frame this by telling you, this is an invitation for you to deal with your stuff. Some of you might have experienced severe trauma, or maybe even not even severe trauma that might be holding you back. That is framing the stories that you put out into the world. And I'm going to use an example from my own family, I have a family member who still blames her ex, for they've been divorced for years, like about seven years for all of her problems, still doing it. And this family member is, you know, I put out something the other day about creativity and how, like, whoever I put out a meme saying something along the lines of like, whoever said that creators were bad at business, you know, that's Bs, or something like that. And I did all this stuff. And she messaged me back and starts talking about her ex again. And I'm just like, you have not been married to this person for a very long time. And you've all so bad in several other relationships. In fact, you're in a relationship with someone else right now. Why are you still letting this person control you?
And why are you still allowing it and I say it like that, because for some people, you might resonate with this, because I've been there before, trust me, I, it was took everything I could not to blame my ex husband for cheating on me for blowing up our marriage and all the things. But when I started to approach it with compassion, and realize, like he's human, he's going through stuff. And this wasn't meant to be. And this situation doesn't have to be forever in believing that I could create another relationship or a better relationship or something that I actually, you know, was aligned with what it is that I wanted to create in the world, it was hard, it was really hard to get over it. It took me many years. And it wasn't until I could see proof of what an amazing relationship was like that I started attracting that. And so it is work. I'm not saying that this is a turnaround and, and whatever. But there is a huge difference between people who are willing to take ownership for their situation in their effort into it.
And for those who kind of operate, and I'm going to say I'm gonna use the word victim mode. And if that offends anyone, I apologize in advance, but for people who like to blame other people for their situation, and I'm not trying to discount anyone's trauma or anyone's severe nature, and if you have dealt with severe things in your life, or really horrific things, I really hope that you can use this time and this message right here as a signpost for you to get the support that you need, and heal that trauma because it that it's going to be a running script in your background forever. And this brings me back to the social media post I did the other day, this person commented on the post about how they were severely abused, and that they didn't attract that and their energy wasn't the thing that attracted that it was just a terrible person Well, of course because bad things happen to good people.
But you know, if you if you live and operate obviously you have to there's a there's a series of grieving and things that you have to do to overcome grief and stuff like that. But if you operate out of a place of like, Oh, this happened to me and so I'm doomed forever and you don't deal with it, then you're always going to be that way. Like, you know, think of it like this, like think about an army that are a military that who lost like his arms and legs. And then they go out to be a motivational speaker and live the most positive life forever. I mean, this person almost died, they probably in a way like when or when they were going through the process of healing probably in a way would have maybe prefer to have died than to not have their arms or legs or or to be like paraplegic or in a wheelchair forever.
But they they made a conscious choice that they're going to use their situation to empower themselves and others. Or what about someone who came from a broken home or who grew up dirt poor on the streets, on welfare, all the things and then they turn out to be one of the most Successful entrepreneurs ever, the odds were against them their entire life. And it was more, they were more apt to maybe being like a drug dealer or someone who, you know, spent their life in poverty than actually being able to be successful. And if this is triggering anyone, like I apologize, that's not my point here. My point here is that everyone comes from a different place. And just because you started the world in a certain place does not mean that that has to be your destiny forever.
I mean, we can think about this in the reverse to think about people who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth, they had everything that the world could offer, maybe they had an millions of dollars of a trust fund or whatever it might be. And they die dirt poor, because they didn't have the didn't do the internal work to make an impact with their advantages that they were born into. And so it goes both ways. And what I'm trying to say here is that, as I mentioned before, yes, bad things happen to good people. But at the same time, you have an opportunity to take where anything, any situation and turn it around, you can use your situation as fuel to move forward and use it as a way to inspire others and motivate you. And also like, you know, in our industry, it's a great opportunity to use this as part of your story and fuel for growth. Because the more that you can connect with people who align and understand with your story, that the more the more attractive your brand will be to them. Does that make sense? No. makes sense to me. But I just wanted, you know, just a little check in here.
So I'm going to share with you some of these might may or may not be experiences from my own life, but or experiences that I've seen witnessed from people in our community or other places around the world. There's a great book, especially for leadership that I highly recommend you pick up. It's called Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink, I might pull in a quote here a little bit later. Basically, it's about being a leader, and leaders. We're all leaders here, everyone listening here, because if you're a business owner, and you own a company, you're leading, even if you're just leading yourself, you're leading something, and it's your responsibility to take ownership for your situation.
So think about it this way, think of you we all have those friends, or maybe this baby this some some of this resonates with you, you complain because there's no good men out there, or that your friend complains because there's no good men out there. I will tell you, I was at a point like this before. I feel like I was always positive around this, I did believe but there was an underlying thing because of my experience, and the men of my life, and the relationships that I had attracted and and including my relationship with my father, where there was a lot of aspects of infidelity or mistrust or things that I couldn't fully trust in a man. And it wasn't until I healed all those beliefs, and started getting to a point where I could see evidence of good men out there, that I was able to attract my partner. Now Jason, Jason is an amazing guy. He is the partner that I've been dreaming about forever.
But he also had his trauma is trauma to deal with because he kept attracting these crazy women who were like, triggering him in his trauma is in his issues. And it wasn't until we both could heal. And both realize that there was someone something else or something better out there that we found each other. And so this is an opportunity that if you are if you're someone who's trying to improve your relationship, or find a better relationship, how are you showing up in a way for yourself or others that is not aligned with what you want? Like, what is the energy that you're putting out there that's not in alignment? And that's a really good question for you to ask yourself, Is it same thing with the really any relationship that you have, you know, how are you not showing up for them, and this is not to say, you know, I've imagined this family member before, I've had to distance myself from this person in my family for the past couple of years on, because it's the relationship is toxic at this point, because they're unwilling to change and improve their situation.
And it goes against everything that I teach, and the kind of life that I live and I'm not perfect. I've been sucked into negative emotions and, you know, in my own victimhood at times, but you know,the situations will often get like put back in my face and I'm forced to look at them and it's not until I can look at them, that I can heal them.
An example from business would be like, you know, you've seen those people that like in person events and shows that are on the back in the back of the booth, looking at their phone, they're complaining to all the other vendors how slow the show is whether the show is low or not. And they attract them. customers, they get a bunch of people who are price resist have price resistance to their product, they're always complaining about their situation. And they instead of the being a half glass full person, they're half glass empty and nothing is good. We all know those people, right? And their sales affected where as opposed to the other person at the booth who's acting busy. And even if their show isn't going well, they are saying like, oh, things are great, you know, and they keep trying to attract what they're trying to create. And if you're really honest with yourself, you might see some similarities, when things aren't going your way with your business, to the your belief system, or the energy that you're putting out there.
You know, and so I want you to get to a place where you can actually attract what it is that you're trying to create. Or, you know, this has been me many times in my business, you know, the internal operations of your business are best, you know, part of the reason why develop the desire brand effect, and why we are consistently working on building better systems in our business, is because if we don't have the strong the structure inside, if I'm not showing up as a good leader, if I have poor leadership, if we aren't optimizing things, or I'm keeping people that aren't a good fit for the company for too long, or I'm not, you know, empowering my team to actually do the work that they were hired to do. They are, you know, I know from my own personal experience, that this kind of work is not the stuff that I like to do, meaning, I hate developing systems.
I hate it so much, but I know it's important. I hate dealing, we're hiring a bunch of new people right now. And I'm in the process of doing like onboarding protocols. And like, all these things that are so outside of my comfort zone and wheelhouse and I hate it so much. But I know that in order to build and get my company to the level, the next level that I'm trying to create with flourish and thrive and creatives rule the world and everything I'm doing over here, that it has to be done. And in order to get to that next level, I also needed to get a coach on leadership. And so I have leaned into that because I was falling into some old patterns. And I was seeing like some old things creep up and I had to be honest with myself, like, you know, you got Tracy, you got to change or else, like you're just about, you're signing yourself up for the same old crap about this where they're so I don't want to swear if someone's listening to this with their children, but..
Because ultimately, what happens is that it affects profit margins and growth. And we'll never get to the next level if I can't continually optimize what I'm doing inside of my companies. And so there's always going to be times when I'm going to have to work with my operations person or work with my team to improve things that aren't going well. And I happen to be in a season of that right now. And it's been very hard for me, and I'm dealing a lot with it.
So those are a couple of examples of like how you know, and I want to be really clear, like, let me just kind of backtrack here is when things were going sort of like slightly haywire in my business, I started complaining about other people, and other things instead of taking the responsibility myself. And it wasn't until that light switch shifted, that things didn't start to shift internally as well. And so that's why I'm telling you these things. It's like, the energy that you put out is what you attract. And so until you're willing to shift that energy, and act as if, and do the work, you will continually get the things that you don't want instead of the things that you do want. Does that make sense?
So it's work we got to get get you to a place where things are going in the right direction and moving in the right direction. And so I wanted to leave you with a tactical exercise because it's really truly my belief that the energy that you're putting out there is what ends up attracting and sometimes it takes a while, you know, for thinking in terms of the law of attraction. And you know, the work that Esther and Abraham Hicks do when Esther Hicks is channeling Abraham Hicks, I'm gonna be talking a little bit about this in next week's episode, too. With the designer that I interviewed, then, you know, taking that full responsibility and taking those baby steps to get there, this is an opportunity for you to get clear on your part in it, right? Like, what's my part?
Because the truth is, is that running a business is not easy, and you're always going to be pulled in a lot of directions. There are things that are going to be really stressful, and but there's things that you need to change and that work to make the change is challenging. It's really hard. In fact, I remember when Jennifer Dawes was in our momentum program and we were helping her restructure her internal operations for her business. She really had this goal she wanted to simplify our business. It had the expense structure had gotten out of control and she needed to do something different. She wanted to start taking on more money. And it was hard work that year that we worked together was really hard for her. She had to do Do a bunch of things that are outside of our comfort zone, a lot of the work she was doing was not the creative work, it was exhausting.
But in the long run, she reached her goal, she ended up increasing her profit margins by about $18,000 a month or saving about $18,000 a month, which as we know, has a huge impact on profit margins. And she is so happy now. And I say that because the work you have to do to get your energy in the right spot so that you're attracting what it is that you want to create is going to be some work, I'm not going to lie there. And it's going to be painful, maybe it might require you to deal with some some of your stuff, right and get clear that stuff out of your face. But on the other side, you're going to thank me because it will be so worth it. And we're here to support you, if you if you want help with this as well.
So I want you to the first question I have for you and you can write these down, you can pause and stop or listen to this episode or save it if you want to listen to it again, is to ask yourself the question, what type? What parts of your life or business aren't working out right now for you? Like what's not? Where are you not getting what you want? And I'm not talking about like, Oh, you missed your goal by a couple $1,000 or something like that What I'm talking about is like what's really not working? like where do you feel like almost tortured? Because it's still not going the way that you want? So identify those things? Where do you need to take ownership of your situation? So this is the second part.
And this is really important, especially if other people are involved? Like what is your part in this. So this is a relatable if you're talking about a love relationship or relationship with family members, a relationship where with your children, a relationship with members on your team, if you're an employer, all these relationships, this is really important because even if really bad things happen to you, and I'll use the example of my ex husband who cheated on me, he blew up our marriage when I was like 29 years old, I kept saying to myself, I do not want to repeat this, my dad had an affair with my mom. And I didn't want to I kept saying I didn't want to attract my dad. Well, I ended up attracting someone who had very similar patterns. As my dad, he's not a bad person. It's just he was troubled. And I'll leave it at that. not blaming him for the situation just he didn't deal with his stuff. And he acted out in a way that wasn't conducive with what he what I thought we both wanted together.
And so I ended up attracting that relationship. And I really, and I had to really take ownership when we were leaving. And part of the reason why I was able to eventually move on and meet someone like Jason was because I took responsibility for my part in that, sure I wasn't the one out there actively cheating or doing anything like that. However, he was there were parts, there were things that probably I contributed to the relationship that led him astray, that made him want to go look outside of the relationship for comfort or support. I have my theories on cheating. This is not a podcast about relationships necessarily. But the end of the day, typically when we do things like that, or like, seek external validation for an stuff that needs to be fixed internally. It's really about healing ourselves. And, you know, I think that there was a lot of things that that were happening that I will leave at that, where maybe both of us were looking for external validation instead of validating our own selves to be grounded. So my point in saying that is that everyone has part of a situation where we take our own ownership and where we have to be responsible for our part of the situation, right.
The next thing that I want you to think about is how are you changing the story? Are you healing your trauma? Are you're clearing your confirmation bias? Are you working with a therapist? Are you working with a coach, someone who can help you get clear on what needs to happen and heal the pain that you're experiencing? in a couple of weeks I'm going to be releasing an episode about healing trauma. My friend Jennifer Tippett is on the show, she's a therapist who works with people who have mental disorders and then also addiction. She helps do integration after therapy and stuff like that. I'm not going to spill the beans on the episode but it's an amazing modality that she works through and works in.
So there are people out there who can help you with your with any trauma that you have. So I definitely recommend that if you can't do it on your own. Get out external support because you need you're going to need this it's important and then be honest with yourself, what can you do to improve your situation? So for me when I was looking for Jason, you know I was going on tons of dates with people and but what I was seeing often is like oh my gosh, they're just like no one who could really raise up to my energy. And I kept telling myself the same story over and over and over again, where I had the story like, probably not as much in the forefront as I would expect it, but there are no good men out there, or whatever it is.
And so it wasn't until I started actively looking for examples of good men out there that Jason came into my life. And the more that I could see that clearly, and what the signs of that look like, the more I started attracting a partner like Jason, and so I'm telling you this because it's like, What are the signs that you're, you know, showing up for the goals that you want to create in your business? Like, what are you doing? How are you actively going after that? How are you showing yourself and proving to yourself that whatever it is that you want, is possible, even if you don't have it yet, for you? What is possible for you, because everything is possible to you, everything is at your fingertips, you can have a multimillion dollar company, if that's what you want. Now, there's sometimes trade offs that come with that there's a lot more work that's involved, you know, there's more expense to running a company like that, there are a lot of things that, you know, that could potentially be trade offs, I'm not saying that's always the case. So get clear, like on what it is that you really want.
And I use that as an example. Because in my first company, I really wanted a multimillion dollar jewelry company, I got pretty far there, I grew almost seven figure company selling like $50 products, which was a lot of units, and then realized that working so hard for that business was not actually aligned with where I was going in my life. So I decided to create a different business model, were actually got paid more, but my volume was much less. So I got really clear on what it was it was that I wanted, I wanted to make more money, but reduce the amount of work that I was doing. So there's many ways to reach your goals, right? So where can you improve? And how can you get clear on what needs to shift and change in order to get that?
And then finally, like, once you get there, what will you do to celebrate once you get there. So this is an important step. You know, we all need to reward ourselves when we get to those steps. Because I think as entrepreneurs and as growth seeking human beings, sometimes what ends up happening is we end up just keep raising the bar on ourselves. So we never feel satisfied. So I want to make sure that you have built in reward system for yourself when you are reaching those goals and doing great things.
All right, well, I hope that today's episode was valuable and helpful for you, if not, you know, just playing around with some new content. But for me, you know, mindset and really getting into a space of attracting what I want has been the most invaluable tool to me, creating the life in the business that I lead right now. And it's always going to be work and this is going to be an ongoing process. So if you enjoyed this, and this resonated with you in any way, shape or form, I'd invite you to save this episode, share it with your friends, and listen to it again when you need to hear something. And all the mindset issues. We have amazing mindset episodes here on the podcast. We also have Jason's are amazing mindset coach in our programs. And we have other mindset tools over on our website. So make sure that you go check it out. And that's all for today.
All right, once again, if you're not on the waitlist for the Desired Brand Effect, please please get on it. I would be so honored if you were part of our promotion party for the book launch. And we are going to be giving away some really amazing prizes and bonuses for all of you who participate and purchase the book as soon as it's released. And I'd love to invite you to go over there, head on over to desiredbrandeffect.com and get on the waitlist right now.
Thanks so much for listening to the episode today. If you enjoyed what you listened to, I would be so honored if you would just give us a little rating or review over on Apple podcasts or wherever you're listening to the podcast because, of course five star ratings and reviews help push this podcast out to other makers, jewelry designers and other handmade product businesses who might find value here. And you know, it's my mission to impact as many people as possible. So thanks so much, and I'll chat with you next week. Ciao, ciao.
Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. It's my mission to help 1000s of creative businesses inside and outside the jewelry space. use their creativity to make money. Make sure that you're subscribed to thrive by design on iTunes, Spotify, Stitcher, and wherever podcasts are played. And we'd love to hear what you think. Please rate and review the show and if you're inspired, please share this with your friends. Cheers to seeing you flourish and thrive.
