TRANSCRIPT: 3 Ways to Support Students Experiencing Trauma (feat. Beth Vonck from Washtenaw International Middle Academy)
2:16PM Jun 9, +0000
Speakers:
Nikki
Beth
Keywords:
students
trauma
teacher
child
classroom
experiencing
class
kids
talking
question
knew
mom
teach
home
years
calm
mother
learning
walk
thinking
Our job as teachers is trying to figure out how to teach this child who has kept a part of themselves hidden. And so we have to be able to understand what is impacting the child that is beyond our doors. And that is what trauma is all about. Because many times, the things that students can't share, or are reluctant to share are the things that are right in the forefront of their brain that they cannot get rid of that. That they are thinking about when they come in. I didn't have breakfast. I didn't have dinner last night. Is somebody going to be home when I get there? My birthday is coming up. Am I going to have a birthday this year? Is my little sister gonna get picked up from the bus? All of these kinds of questions that our kids are thinking about? We're not we're standing up in front of the class, saying okay, everybody. Let's look at the sentence. Can you all see a noun in the sentence? How about a verb? Let's talk about imagery. Well, they could care less because the image in their head is not the same image that we have.
I’m Nikki Herta, and this is BRIGHT: Stories of Hope & Innovation in Michigan Classrooms, a podcast where we celebrate our state’s educators and explore the future of learning.
BRIGHT is brought to you, in part, by Meemic Insurance Company, insuring the educational community for more than 70 years. Teachers and school employees, visit Meemic.com/Quote to see how much you can save.
In today’s episode of BRIGHT, I chat with Beth Vonck, a Language and Literature teacher for Washetenaw International Middle Academy, who was honored as a 2021-22 regional teacher of the year, representing her geographic area in Southeast Michigan.
Beth explains why trauma-informed instruction is so critical to student success, offers examples of what this looks like in her classroom, and leaves us with three guidelines for supporting students experiencing trauma.
Before we jump in: a note on the content of this episode. As we discuss trauma experienced by young people, there are some brief mentions of sexual abuse, violence, mental illness, and suicide. Listener discretion is advised.
Thank you for having me.
Um, we're kicking off season three, just asking everybody, what is the most interesting project you're doing in your classroom right now?
I think that the most interesting project we're doing is we're finishing up the book night with my eighth graders. And we're doing a whole unit on how trauma and our our shared experiences influence our identities. And it is phenomenal that students are so empathic and just learning so much about caring for others caring for themselves, and how people can lose, be forced to lose their humanity and lose their dignity based on experiences and things that are happening to you.
Wow. Wow, that's phenomenal. Well, thank you for doing what you do. Um, speaking of which, I was going to ask you next, if you could tell me about a time that you remember falling in love with education. You know, it could be the first time or it could be just you know, one of those many moments throughout that reaffirmed it for you.
I grew up in an education family. My mom was a teacher, my grandmother, my my aunt's my uncle's, I mean, all of these people and I knew that I did not want to do it. And I was that was the last thing I wanted to do because it consumed their lives. And my grandmother and I traveled across the country we did this triangular quest to find Mount Vernon. It's amazing how many Mount Vernon's there are in the United States. And she was a quirky old woman. And so we went from Michigan, to Texas and then across the southern coast to Florida, stayed there for a while and then went up the East Coast back home and stayed in many Mount Vernon's along the way and traveling with her. And she is the consummate teacher. I knew I wanted to be her. I wanted to be like her, and then made me look at my other relatives in a very different way. My mother, my aunts, my uncles, and I thought you know, I could do that. I could, if I could be them and walk in their skin and have influence like my grandmother was having on me. What a what an amazing thing that would be and I've never regretted it. It's the first time I walked in the classroom. I knew I was home. And I knew that this is what I was meant to do.
You know these interviews sometimes like even And despite everything you hear, you know about, there's a lot of pressure on teachers right now, like makes me want to be a teacher. So I think it's that's says something about the passion of our educators and how committed they are to what they do.
Well, I've been doing this 41 years now. And this, the last nine years, I've been working in international baccalaureate school that I helped design. And it is truly the desert of my career, been working in a social justice oriented school where the student is the center, and we are teaching students inquiry, and it is just, it has been the desert of my career.
So, you know, related to what you were talking about with your lesson with night, the book tonight, we're going to be talking about three ways to support students who are experiencing trauma. And I'm just wondering, how would you personally define trauma informed instruction? And what does it mean to you?
So I think that all of our students come with experiences that are so varied, and in this day and age, our students are anxious our students are they, we have, you know, COVID, we have households that where they are food insecure, where parents may be putting a child in charge of running the household while they're working. And not because they want to, but because they have to, it may be because of, they have to work two jobs just to survive, because of trying to make ends meet, I've always taught in school districts that were more at risk than others. And so, and I grew up in a home with seven children, and, and it was a blended household. And so just the way that I grew up knowing the kinds of things that didn't go to school, because how many of our students come in with the explicit direction, don't share home with school, home, school and home are separate. So then our job as teachers is trying to figure out how to teach this child who has kept a part of themselves hidden. And so we have to be able to understand what is impacting the child that is beyond our doors. And that is what trauma is all about. Because many times, the things that students can't share, or are reluctant to share are the things that are right in the forefront of their brain that they cannot get rid of that. That they are thinking about when they come in. I didn't have breakfast. I didn't have dinner last night. Is somebody going to be home when I get there? My birthday is coming up. Am I going to have a birthday this year? Is my little sister going to get picked up from the bus? All of these kinds of questions that our kids are thinking about? We're not we're standing up in front of the class, saying, Okay, everybody, let's look at the sentence. Can you all see a noun in the sentence? How about a verb? Let's talk about imagery, well, they could care less, because the image in their head is not the same image that we have
that example, the image in their head versus the imagery. That's that was very good. And it makes sense, right? Like there's many sayings around this, but like, if you like, how can you get a student to focus on that if they've got if that's what's going on in their minds? And I liked the way that you said it. Like, if you have no idea what's going on? Because they're separate, those two worlds are separate than how do you as a teacher, help them get you know, get around to?
I will give you one example that is like my least favorite ever lesson. And every elementary teacher does this. It is the family tree. How many times have do these kids in kindergarten, first, second, third grade get assigned to make a family tree? Well, it was bad when I was in school. And it's much worse now I, you know, had to think about talking about a father that was absent because of divorce that my mother wouldn't even talk about. And talking about a stepfather and step sisters that didn't want to be part of the family and trying to blend all of this and these are the the years when you know you're really you want to be like everybody else but you're not you might not have a mother and a father and our students today are being raised. For example, My granddaughter is she's adopted from foster care. And this past year of her COVID. She and her friend, were given this assignment and they were working together. She is adopted out of foster care. Her friend was born in vitro with her mother as a single parent that chose a number of And that was her parent, and they had to do a family tree. Well, how traumatizing is that for a student? And the teacher is expecting this? You know, they even give you a template. Here's your mother, here's your father. Siblings, do you have any fill in the blanks? And I remember, even as a young teacher doing this, and kids would say, do you want just the people that live in my house? Or do you want my dad's kids? Do you want my mom's kids? What if I don't know all the names of all my brothers and sisters? Good questions. I thought, I'm never doing this again. Because, you know, I knew how bad it was for me. But I still went with the, with the flow, and did it with young students. thinking, I don't know what I was thinking. But I learned a lesson that this is really we're hurting kids. But what what would ever make a straight white female think that I was hurting children just by asking about their family. didn't occur to me, because I was. Even though I know, I wasn't raised in a traditional house, I was a traditional teacher. And now, I think differently. So it's like, one thing we do with the kids quite often is I used to think but now I think, and, you know, please don't hold against me what I used to think, because I'm not there now. So with trauma informed education, we can all be in a different spot. And we can all forgive each other and ourselves for not knowing better. Like Maya Angelou says, when you know, better do better. So now I know better. And I'm certainly doing better.
It's a great example, to have just, you know, when we talk about like implicit bias, like the things that you wouldn't necessarily think, but you are making an assumption, you know, and you didn't realize it. And so like you said, when you you realized it, and they said, Oh, okay, and then know better do better. So yes, it's great. Thank you for sharing that learning moment of your own. Yes. And so I can see, this can be a tricky question. But like, when we're talking about students experiencing trauma, when we're talking about trauma informed instruction, what what are we talking about when we talk about trauma, and like, what kinds of experiences typically,
it depends on the child, it a lot of times, the students that I get in middle school are different from the students I got in elementary, but not always, I had first graders who were sexually molested by family members or neighbors, or in somebody else. I've had middle school students who were raped, I have had or molested. So there's some sexual trauma, I've had students who are experiencing trauma from, you know, family trauma, just have been not having a home, or not having adequate food, or shelter in a food, shelter, all of these things. I have had students that just are experiencing trauma because of having to move from another country. I had one student, tell us about his walk from his country to another country. And the kids are saying, What do you mean, you walked? What about your What about your belongings? What did you bring? What about your heirlooms and he said, heirlooms, what's that? He brought what he had, as parents brought what they had. So you know, we all have, you know, trauma, based on where you were. So it could be, you know, such a huge variety. It could be that you are a child experiencing parents that don't have time for you that their language, the way they speak to you is unkind, or you're always being put down. It could just be from mental health trauma that you're putting on yourself, based on severe anxiety or depression. And I say putting on yourself. And I don't mean that they're actually doing that to themselves. But through mental illness. Their brain sees things in a very different way. I have students with who are bipolar, who have early signs of schizophrenia. And these kinds of things will make students see things in a whole different way than we would and these are all hidden. So everything I'm talking about, when the child walks through the door, the parent has sent us the very best that they have. And they walk through the door and they look like every other child. And when they're standing there. You could not say this person has this trauma. This person has this trauma. It's when they start to do an assignment or the way they respond to something you've said or the way they were respond to others. So that's where you see, begin to see the differences.
Thank you for sharing that. Because I know, you know, I even knew and asking it like, that's a difficult question. But I feel like it's one. I don't know that maybe we have to ask, can we start talking about this, because that's the reality of what you're saying, you know, like, when you walk into a classroom, you may see just a bunch of kids sitting there and desks looking at you. But these are the very real things that we wish didn't happen to them, but you know, are impacting their relationship with learning and with life.
So and it's, it's not based on your economic status, you could have somebody in the very highest economic status, who has undergone more trauma than you would ever hope to inflict on any child, and somebody in the very lowest who is so healthy, and so well balanced, and has not really felt any trauma. I was very poor when I was young, and my mother was trying to get through college alone, after her divorce, I didn't know we were poor. I did not know that things were bad. I didn't know how she had to struggle. And so you can't base it on anything that we cannot put those constraints on somebody, it is just their own experiences and how they handle it handled the experiences.
One question I was going to ask is, so what experiences led you to prioritize this in your classroom? Specifically, trauma informed instruction, like was there a moment for you where you were like, Okay, this is something I really need to bring into my teaching.
Actually, if it started from the very beginning of my teaching, because I wanted, when I started, I wanted to be the kind of teacher that little Beth needed. And when my parents got married, and we moved midway through the year, my third grade teacher gave me a little bracelet that had like wedding bells on it. And I still remember that. And I still have little bills that had fallen off that bracelet that I kept forever, because that teacher impacted me so much. I cannot remember who my teacher was the second half of that year, I don't remember anything about the school, I don't remember anything, because I was so traumatized by the change. And you know, I remember things after that, but not at that moment. And I think about as a teacher, what would I have needed to bring me out and make me part of that classroom to help me learn and not be forgotten in that year, and I have had teachers over the years that have really helped me as a person as an individual, and the ones I remember, and that's what I wanted to be, and I wanted, and then as I got my own, had my own children, I wanted to be the kind of teacher that I would want for my children. And then working in at risk districts I saw so many needs. And so I just made myself to be what I thought would help me. And that was my guide. And then as it worked, I did it more. Because you know, just do more throw out the stuff that doesn't work. And then I've just done a lot of reading. And a lot of attending there didn't used to be classes that you could go to for this. But since there are now I've attended a lot of classes, but I've done a lot of reading and brain research and done a lot of just what would help anytime I could get my hands on something. It's like I'm going to try this. And I have a pretty good system now. And I just think it has a lot to do with just trying to be the best for me. And then that if I can be the best me I can be the best help for somebody else.
This question may seem obvious, but I think sometimes it's it's helpful to ask and flip it in the opposite way. So my question is, what are the risks of not addressing trauma in the classroom? So what happens when you don't take the time to address it? You know, what happens with those students and with their learning?
Unfortunately, we see way too often we have a prison to school pipeline that is flourishing. We had students with mental health problems that are being left unaddressed, we have we're losing. We're losing students, we're losing human beings. And as not addressing trauma in the classroom. We are harming our students. And we do it in in so many in so many ways that see seem like we're just doing our job. And you can say you can make a case for doing your job. But if we are not addressing the whole child, then we aren't addressing the child at all. We're just, we're teaching subjects, not children. And that used to be an interview question. They always asked, Do you teach children? Or do you teach subjects? And I always thought, you know, well, that's an odd question. Of course,
you teach children? All right, I do. I'm excited to get into three tips. But one more question. I always like to situate it, you know, in a story, just so can you tell me a story about a student, you know, that you saw experiencing trauma that was benefited by an educator who saw their struggle and offered some kind of intervention or support, you know, maybe following that more trauma based instruction framework, you know, rather than pretending or not knowing it existed or pretending it didn't exist. Okay.
So, I'm gonna give you like a relatively current example I have, I'm very fortunate, because I've been able to teach students for three years in a row, and the only language arts teacher here, so I teach sixth, seventh and eighth grade, and we had a student come in, and he had all kinds of a rap sheet basically. And, you know, he's going to need counseling, he's going to need timeouts gonna need all of these things, it was this whole list of, you know, this is what you need to do, because he's very violent student, he's very angry student, they're, you know, they had all of this, all of these cautions in dealing with this child. And if he walks in, and he's, you know, you don't really know right away who these children are, because I've read these things, but I don't really put the names with the faces. And then when you go back, I thought, Well, wait a second. And who was it? Which kid exactly was this? And I noticed that, yes, he would get angry. And, you know, I would just ask him, you know, what do you need to do, we need to have a timeout, and he just, you know, clenched his fists and need to just be really angry and and say, Well, I'm gonna give you a minute, and I'd walk away. And I found that there were just some cues, just some of the things that you use, that made him just mellow right out. And over the years, you know, I just am sure I, I use a lot of the trauma informed strategies on him and we've become, we know each other. And I, we have a really good relationships, because relationships are so key. And now, an even after the first couple months, we noticed that he was really calm when he got really worked up at first he was, he might have to have a time out to, you know, get himself calmed down. But they've lessened and lessened over the years.
Yeah, it's cool to hear about the trajectory, you know, just how you said, especially having them through those three grades, that you can see the impact that this has, and I mean, that's, that's, you know, I'm not a teacher, but it seems like that is that's part of what learning is all about, you know, and I
yeah, I know where it comes from. I know what's going on in his home and it would not he there's a lot of islands and this is just what he sees. And this is just how he handles things and he's in his play is can be very violent, so we just have to be calm.
I’m Nikki Herta, and you’re listening to BRIGHT: Stories of Hope & Innovation in Michigan Classrooms. BRIGHT is brought to you, in part, by Meemic Insurance Company, insuring the educational community for more than 70 years. Teachers and school employees, visit Meemic.com/Quote to see how much you can save.
Today, I’m chatting with Beth Vonck, a Language and Literature teacher for Washetenaw International Middle Academy, who was honored as a 2021-22 regional teacher of the year, representing her geographic area in Southeast Michigan.
Up next, we dive into Beth’s top three tips for supporting students experiencing trauma.
Okay, I think the number one tip is making students feel seen. One thing that I do is I greet the kids as they come in the door and this may seem like a no brainer. But it's amazing how many people do not do this. So as they come in, I welcome them. And even if they have to wait a little bit outside the door, it's every day I greet them by name. And if there's the kind of haircut if they're wearing something cool if they're, you know, doing something quirky, you know, we have just at Little two second conversation, because I figured it out and I have six minutes per student per class, I have 32 students, I have an hour and a half, I've got six minutes, I'm not going to get to them once they get into my classroom. So they know they were seen by me in that little two, second three second interaction, it doesn't take much. But they're seen they're looked at their name was stated. And sometimes of these, sometimes it may be the only time an adult says a child's name in whole day. And that is important and names are powerful. So building, that's the way we start to build that relationship. And they know that I care enough to greet them to say their name properly to just to know who they are. And that is, that's like the foundation of everything is just seeing and knowing your student. And that's the beginning,
bringing it back to, you know, the trauma informed instruction. Like what do you think it is like if a student's experiencing trauma, and then they, you know, walk up to your door and get greeted with their name, and you know, with some warmth? What do you think that does for them?
On Tuesday, it was very interesting. I was greeting kids at the door, and one little girl just broke down, and so crying. And I said, Wow, because it seemed like you're ready to go into the classroom right now. Let's get a chair and have a seat over here. So we put a chair in the hallway next to some of the lockers. And she sat down. I said, about how much time do you think you're gonna need? It? Just I don't know. I said, then, you know, I'll check back and let's just get people in. So she got in another little girl came in, she was obviously really frustrated. I said, are you okay? That's another question. You could ask, do you need? Do you need some help? And she said, I forgot my instrument. And I said, Well, I'm really sorry to hear that. But see if we can think of a solution. And let me know. And so she came in the class. Well, one little girl was still crying. I come in, the other little girl had started crying in her seat. So I said, No, it's quiet in the hall. So I get her out in the hall. I gave the other kids a direction. I said, it's been a long weekend. We didn't have school on Monday. Everybody talk about something you did on over the weekend. And let's see what if we can find some common ground. And then I walked out in the hall with those two crying kids. One, we the one with that, Mr. instrument, she was afraid to call her mom. So I said, How about I call her so I called her mom on my cell phone. We talked to mom, she got it all straightened. In the meantime, the other little girl heard me helping the second one, solve her problem. So I, after she went back in I went over and said, Is there something I can do? What do you need from me? And she said, I can't take it anymore. I don't want to hurt, I just want to kill myself. And I said, Wow, I said, You know what, I'm gonna get you some help for that. And we're going to get help right now. I said, I just need you to hold on. And I said, Is it okay? If I touch you? And she said, Yes, I rubbed her back. I said, I promise you, we're gonna get you some help. And in the, in between all of this, my principal and another teacher had walked in my room. So I walked in and said to my principal, I could use your help in the hall right now. And I had also, we have a support team. And I had center group made up my support team, in all just right there and principal came out and I explained what was going on. She said, Wow, she's, we're gonna get you some help. And they did. So just opening that door. And them knowing that you see them, they're gonna talk to you. And they built that relationship. And you're gonna be able to get them help they need it's not always like that. I mean, you know, most days it's just a Hi, you know, we laugh together we you know, talk about you know, oh, I got a new goldfish. You know, I don't like this haircut, but it's one my mom wanted. You know, things like that. Or I'm a frog today. Yesterday I was a panda. We were those little ear things at it so it can just be in a something easy, or it can be something hard.
Wow. Yeah. Okay. That definitely shows the the impact that something that seemingly simple, you know, can have. He said that was last week.
That was two days ago, three days. Got two days ago? This is Thursday. That was Tuesday. Yeah,
you might not have known right? If you didn't, you kind of looked, you notice that they weren't okay. And you had an opportunity to intervene,
I could have said, you know, you come in every day, you're crying, because there's a lot of stuff going on with this child, it took 10 minutes, then just come join us. Or I could have even not done that and said, Look, you gotta get it together come in the classroom, we've got stuff to do. And she might have pretended she might have tried. And, you know, who knows what would have happened?
All right. Well, you want to kick us off with number two
here. Okay, so the number two thing is, don't get into power struggles. Make the problem, my problem, not their problem. So if I see a student who is not working, I might say, what do you need for me to help you get started on this assignment? And they look at me, they say, Well, I just need to get it. I just need to do it. And oh, okay, well, how are you going to do that, you've got a different conversation. But if I walk up to them, and say, You need to get started on that assignment like I am, and then you're in an adversarial relationship already. If I say if a kid is messing with the other kids at their table, and interrupting their learning, I might ask them to come out to step out into the hall, I sometimes refer to it as my outer office. And, you know, they come out with me, and I'll say, you know, it looks to me like there's a real struggle with, you know, at that table that people are, you know, not really working, and I hope it's not interfering with your learning. What do you need for me to help make things calm? And, you know, tone things down at that table? And it's, well, I need to stop talking. Okay, how are you going to do that? So it's always what do you need from me? How are you going to do that? So that it's not, I see you're doing this, and I need it stopped. Because when you start getting into that, you are setting yourself up for failure, because they are going to dig their heels in. If somebody is in class, and they're trying to sidetrack, they're talking, when you're talking. And you're trying to give instructions, I might say, you know, I'm really distracted right now. Because there's side conversations going on in the room. And in order for me to give these directions, I need it quiet. Oh, okay. Thanks for asking for quiet will give it to you. And they do. Because we've built that relationship already, we've started it. And so if I say this is my problem, and this is what I need, they can do it. And if they continue to do it, then I can invite them to, into the hall I can do I can take it one step further. But I rarely need to take these things further. Because students respect the, the climate and the culture that's been set up in the room, and the norms that we've set as a class. And so they don't need to do that. And this is about me, it's not about them. You know, this isn't about you talking. This is about, it's distracting me. So those things really help.
I took a class on boundaries. And I there's a lot of this kind of discussion in it, you know, and I see a lot of parallels to what you're saying because like, you know, using like the, the you statements like you do this, and you did this and you made me you know, whatever it just more than anything, it seems like it also just it doesn't work, you know, like you said it raises defenses and makes people feel judged and shamed and maybe misunderstood. If that's not what they think is going on, you know, or don't feel like what is happening inside them is being you know, seen or understood or respected. So and so I really appreciate the way that you're you know, you're framing this like you're saying it's calm, it's I need quieter I you know,
let the student has their head down in the networking. I might approach them and say, Wow, it looks like you're really tired today. Did you get enough sleep last night? Or do you need to call home is there something that Are you feeling okay? As you know, so not you know, if this if this continues, do you want me to find a place for you to sleep? I can come I can call your house and see if there's Somebody that can come pick you up. You know, so you're not saying, don't sleep in my class, don't put your head down. You're saying, I'm concerned about you? What do you need? And, you know, sometimes they'll say, I didn't get any sleep, I had a student tell me, I didn't get any sleep. My mom, my dad works nights, and my mom doesn't get home till one. And my brother plays a lot of loud music. And he's babysitting for me. And his isn't when my mom gets home. She wakes me up to say, Good night. And so I, if I'm sleeping, it's kind of interrupts and I said, Wow, that sounds like it's really hard. So why don't you close your eyes for just a few minutes? And I said, about how much time do you think you need? You know, and sometimes they'll tell me, I just am not going to make it through this block? Or I'll be fine. You know, so just give them choices? Yeah,
I see the kind of overlap and parallel, you know, between some of those, like, the asking of questions, you know, I've seen some similar questions come up, and just how effective they've been across all these different scenarios. So that's really cool. Yeah, yeah. Would you like to lead us into our
show. The third one is assume good intentions. Students don't come in here to give you a hard time. And when a child is acting out in class, or doing something that is inappropriate, they're not doing it to get on the teacher's nerves, they are doing it because of some reason known to them, it may be that they're frustrated, they have not, they have not had enough sleep, they didn't do the assignment, they don't know how to do the assignment they need, they need something. And so you have to assume that there's some something behind what is causing this behavior. And students that are experiencing high trauma are always going to be scanning their environment, they are always going to be looking for those triggers. And it may be that you've sounded just like their mother, when it when you say something, and it might be something that they're really angry with their mother, you sounded like their mother, boom, they are going to look at your slide and not want to do anything you say right then. And I had nothing to do with the lesson. Nothing to do with me personally, it has to do with an interaction that I know nothing about. So I have to assume there's something behind what's going on and look for the root cause. Or just assume there's a root cause and that this, that maybe this only this child knows. And I may not be able to help it, I may just have to say, we both need a minute. Where would you like to take that minute? I have to stay here because this is my job. And I need to supervise this class? Would you like your minute to be in our library area? out in the hall? Or would you like me to call somebody for support, sometimes that happens. You can't always be that person to everybody, at all times. But But knowing that it's not about me, and I'm not gonna take this personally, that's, that's the big thing is you've got to assume those good intentions. Because a lot of times kids really do like you. And they really do want to please you. But they don't know how to read what you're asking them to do. And they don't want anybody else to know, they don't know, they didn't do the assignment. So they're already two steps behind everybody else. And again, it's saving face, they don't want anybody to know. So when, and once you've built that, that trust with them and that relationship, and you've given them a lot of choices, and you've asked them a lot of questions, then they have that opportunity, and they feel empowered to say, you know, I didn't do this, may I please go into the library area, and read chapter 11 so that I can be caught up to where everybody else is, or I need to talk to somebody because I had a bad night at home. Or I will often ask, is the school related? Or is this home related? And I said, I can deal with school, I can do that all day. But home, I can't watch, you know, I can get somebody else to help you. But I can't always deal with that. And you know, the kids will tell me now it's home and or it's school, here's what I need. So, you know, all of these things work so tightly together. And it's just really, it's just really helpful and the more excited a kid gets the more they the more their emotions rise. Mine should come down x, just like It should be this way. So that because then it will drag them down with me. Because if I get excited too, and I start, you know, raising my voice or
matching their angry posture, it's just going to inflate, you know what they're doing. So I need to be the adult. And, you know, realize that this isn't about me, that they're not trying to hurt me that they need, they needed somebody to ground them at this moment. And it's the same thing to do with panic attacks, if a child is having a panic attack, or a person, you, you ground them, you give them something to ground, you help them breathe, you help them, you know, through this, but they're never going to get out of it if they're not grounded. And you don't have little things like, I tell them, alright, let's, I'm going to hand you some flowers, I want you to grab them from me. But I'm just going to drop them in on, it's silly, but they'll put up their hand and I just drop it and they clutch for the flowers. There's no flour, there's no nothing, but it's getting their mind someplace else. And off of whatever has triggered them at that moment. And they know, oh, that's my spunk, she's just silly. She just, you know, does these weird things sometimes. You know, just, it's just what she does. But it helps because sometimes the unexpected, when they're not expecting you to come, come at them with something calm, or something silly or something that acts they don't think you're gonna like them. And because they don't like themselves very much at that moment. So, you know, knowing that there is somebody that cares, makes a really big difference.
I definitely can see throughout, throughout our conversation, why you were honored as original Teacher of the Year, thank you for doing what you do for your students.
It is for the better, trust me.
I can see that you're having an impact, you know, just based on the stories that you're sharing. So and I think, you know, I'm cognizant of the fact you know, this is called the bright podcast, and it's stories of hope and innovation. But I think, like, you know, what you're demonstrating here is like this is, even though it can be a heavy topic, talking about trauma in the classroom, like it's happening, whether we talk about it or not, right. And it's like a
story of hope.
Oh, yes, please.
Okay, I had a student it pet him for three years, and he's an eighth grader now. As a sixth grader, it was like, Oh, my gosh, what do we deal with him? He was all over the place. He was just in everybody's business. He was just everywhere, there was a altercation, you knew he was involved. And he didn't care about anybody else's feelings. And he, he will lie to you as easily as he will tell you the truth. And you will believe it, because he's so earnest. And it's just who he is. And he had like, no empathy for anybody else at all. And he has been, I've just watched him grow as, as a person. And the way we do things here and the way that our whole school, you know, we really work on compassion, we work on empathy, we work on these things. And yesterday, I went out in the hall for to check for a student. And I saw him with another student and the other student was crying. And he was rubbing her back and talking softly to her. And I said, is everything okay? And he said, spunk, I got this, I got this, you know, and I said, okay, but if you need a spot, my library is available right now or next block. And he said, I'll let you know. But she's gonna be okay. I've got this. Now, he would have never, in a million years done that. And so yesterday, when he came to my class, I said to him, I am so proud of you. I have just seen you grow so much. And he said, what, what did I do? What do I do this time? And I said, you know, you're not in trouble. And he said, I usually am. And I said, not this time, you did such a great job. And I loved that you were showing compassion to your friend, and you really made her feel good. And he said, Yeah, you know, he says, Sometimes I can do that. And but it was like he had a really hard time. But it's another thing. him learning to take a compliment, because a lot of times when students think they're bad, and you compliment them, they get worse because they cannot take a compliment. And the fact that he could take this and he stood up a little straighter and he could own it, and he's smiled, that shows me that when we do this kind of work, we are teaching another generation not to have the cyclical anger, the cyclical depression, anxiety, non empathy or isolation. So we are helping and that is a bright spot.
Yes. Yes. Thank you, that is a perfect example. And that's that's kind of where where I was thinking and where it was leading to is like, it can seem it is heavy, but the results that you're describing, you know, like, the way that you can help these students navigate their emotions and learn what they need to calm down, and that create that antagonistic relationship, and help them process that, like, every example you've gained, you've given has shown the true capacity for hope and healing that this kind of approach can provide. So thank you.
And they can, they can just mimic what I'm doing. And I hear the way that they talk in a sometimes to each other when they're down. And, you know, I think that's beautiful. That's, you know, that's what we want to see.
Do you have a nother moment to tell me about a teacher who had an impact in your life?
Oh, sure. Besides my family, teachers,
whoever you would like to speak about?
Let me think there was, there have been so many. I had a teacher who was a friend of my mom's, and she taught with my mom. And I had her for second grade. And I adored her. She did art with kids. And she knew me personally. But in the classroom, she knew me differently. And she was one of the people that didn't go and tell my mom everything. She if I got in trouble, I got in trouble. If I, you know, did something well, she would tell me I did something well, and she just always spoke kindly. And, you know, knowing her as a person, outside of school was a bonus. But it wasn't something that it wasn't something that she brought to the classroom, because I think every student in that room felt the same way. She made everybody feel really special. And like we were all her children, she was not married. And she would often tell us, it's because you're all my children. I don't have time to get married and have children because I have too many already. And she's and she would tell us how much she loved us. And that kind of thing was very special. And you know, even though I had my own family and my own mother who would say these things, it's really different when it comes from that trusted, loving adult that does, reads poetry, and does art and makes you feel things that like like that there are beautiful things in the world because she would share stories of beautiful things and beautiful people and beautiful art and just had a big impact.
Without a doubt, it’s challenging work to teach a room full of students, each coming into your classroom with a different traumas that shape their relationship with learning. But with leaders like Beth forging our path forward, if there’s one thing we’re certain of: it’s that the future is BRIGHT.
Do you know someone who is an inspiring Michigan educator who should be featured on our show? Send us an email at bright@michiganvirtual.org to let us know who they are and why they should interview them.
Thank you for joining us for this episode of BRIGHT: Stories of Hope & Innovation in Michigan Classrooms. This podcast is produced by Herbie Gaylord, is hosted by me, Nikki Herta, and is shaped by many of our passionate and talented colleagues. Big thanks to Christa Green, Anne Perez, Terence Wilkerson, Ana Aramberry, Sarah Hill, and Brandon Bautista for their contributions to this episode.
BRIGHT is brought to you, in part, by Meemic Insurance Company, insuring the educational community for more than 70 years. Teachers and school employees, visit Meemic.com/Quote to see how much you can save.
The BRIGHT podcast is made possible by Michigan Virtual, a nonprofit organization that’s leading and collaborating to build learning environments for tomorrow. Education IS changing faster than ever. Discover new models and resources to move learning forward at your school at michiganvirtual.org.