2022-07-15-Gil-Stories (5 of 5) Stories (5 of 5) Yes to Stories

3:00PM Jul 15, 2022

Speakers:

Gil Fronsdal

Keywords:

stories

life

theme

richness

stuck

acceptance

live

wonderful

grow

shortcomings

history

open

wisdom

happening

repeatedly

openness

understand

greater

maturing

difficulties

So, come to the end of our five days on his stories. Today we come to the why. So the source story, trapping stories, the opening stories, the releasing stories, and then the Yes. Of story, the why. So I want to say a few words about story is that

we each have a story, we have a story of our life, and that stories, and we have stories of our life. And it's fascinating to tell the story to write the story around a certain themes, ideas, and then to see the different perspectives on our life that different themes will have. So for example, it could be your autobiography, your story, and your relationship to the feeling of growing up the sense you have that you're maturing, what's the what what's that story? The maturing story? What's the story? What's your life story around your sexuality? What's your life story around? Money? What's your, you know? What's your life story around religion and spirituality? What's your life story from the point of view of your education? What about let you know, what's your story around friendships. So all these kinds of things, all, you know, choosing all kinds of different themes. And we get a different perspective. And some people don't reflect so much in their life. But to choose a theme to reflect on can now this the area, this area, and then we see new things, we see our life in a new way. Sometimes it's really fascinating to do these stories repeatedly over some months, or, you know, periodically, and see how their story changes. And we see how many different stories we've been living, and how many different influences that come to bear and who we are today. And by telling the story, there's a number of things that can happen. One is that we can know ourselves better. We can know our influences and where we are and why we are what we are. And to kind of the richness of who we are the background history that goes into making us that can be more alive in a very healthy way. The other is that once we tell the story, there is a chance to let go of the story. Or it's it's it gives us a chance for the next chapter to be written to move on from that story. Sometimes when we stay stuck with a story, never tell the story or keep it very private. It doesn't grow, it doesn't grow. One of the stories that doesn't grow that can really fester, is the stories of the things you keep secret, hidden things you would never tell anyone. And you know, I would encourage you to find someone to the future if there is such a story. Go find someone that you trust, maybe someone you can clearly have a confidential conversation with, and, and tell the story. It might free you it might allow you to write the next chapter might allow you to move on. The other thing that telling your story does is it allows for hopefully, greater self acceptance. to verbalize a story or write it out and see it and hear it. It there's a whole different way of we can relate to our story, our history, what's happened to us who we are, that maybe allows us to be more accepting, more accepting of vulnerabilities, accepting of our shortcomings accepting of the challenges and our sorrows and difficulties. And huge part of maturing life is that kind of acceptance. To live in idea of perfectionism, that we're supposed to be perfect are supposed to be perfect. Buddha's practitioners, perfect spouses, perfect parents or whatever we're trying to do. Sometimes that we shut parts of ourselves down, no one's perfect. And so to tell our story of our imperfection, made that's another theme. Tell the story of your input. fiction, tell the story of your shortcomings. And see what comes out of that. And maybe there's a greater acceptance, maybe there's growth, maybe there's space for something to happen next. And,

and the advantage of stories also, boy, whether it's your own story, or listening to stories, reading stories, is that they are narratives over time. Stories take represent something that happens over time, whether it's a very short time or a long time. And dharma practice is has to do with time, and changing and moving and growing and developing. Our life is a journey. And to understand that, that to explain that journey is a story. Everyone has a story. And there are many ways of telling that story. And as we get familiar with this, rather than rejecting stories, then at some point, we can outgrow the stories, we can leave the stories behind. And at some point, with mindfulness practice, with Buddhist practice, there comes a time and a place where the practice is, it's such a nature that we leave all stories behind. And they, for a short, while, during the practice, they have no relevance anymore, and there's a much greater freedom. And we experience ourselves independent, free of all the stories that we've carried. When we come back from that kind of freedom, that kind of putting down all the stories, we can have a different relationship to the stories of our life, stories of ourselves stories that there we are in the process of making every day, we can hold them more likely, we start seeing them more as like more like clothes that we put on, than who we essentially are. And their stories are important to have a place. But we don't have to define ourselves by your story. Even the story is about me. Even though I tell the story about me. This is not who I really am. What if anything, who I am is freedom. And there's a lightness and openness. And with that comes a can come a wonderful Yes. A Yes, that doesn't approve of everything, but is ready to be present for everything. This too is life. This too is this rich, fascinating world that is filled with stories. Who knows why what's happening right now is happening? What's the story behind it? Why are people treating me this way? There must be a story behind that person's life. What is that story? Why, why is this happening? Now? What's the story? Not that you understand the story, but that you realize there's a there's a rich, dynamic or rich, multifaceted universe nowadays, we say multiverse that we're all living all the time in a sense that we can say, Wow, yes. And then afterwards, maybe we say no to some things. This, you know, this is not appropriate. But the sense of wonder the sense of Yes. And so the why in story stands for yes to stories. All the stories, the good, the bad, the ugly, the difficult, the painful, the embarrassing, the wondrous, the wonderful, this ability to enter life, ready to say yes to all of it, including all our own stories. In fact, saying yes to yourself in this way. To all the difficulties, all the shortcomings, all the beauty, all the wonder, all the stories, to really be able to say yes and hold it and likely hold it fully. And not hide not resist not have shame not have pride, you know, conceit, at least. That yes, is what allows us then, to have a healthy yes to the world around us to others. So, to understand our source story, that kind of has shaped us in some powerful way so that we're not stuck there. To understand how we are stuck in trapped stories, and to learn how to unstuck ourselves and untrap ourselves, to have opening stories to search for understand To create the stories of our life that are opening stories that help us go forward in an open way.

And you can tell yourself that the stories and that theme, what are the opening stories of your life, you might have to stretch? Because what are the stories of your life that open you? There's new possibilities. Then there's the releasing stories, the stories that freed you of something. And then there's this broad, open minded economists, a generous way of being open to all the stories, even the stories that are not true, knowing they're not true not to believe them, or justify them. But yes, this too, is to hold lightly this to you, open to and be with. And then you let your wisdom decide what is wise what what to act what to do. But before the wisdom, a yes. And acceptance, a tolerance, a willingness, a openness. Before any No. And before any approval, just this wonderful. lake full of mindful awareness, body fullness, that is present overflowing with here I am Yes, with this. So

it's part of our richness, the stories and this Vipassana tradition of Isaiah A History of sometimes in the Zen tradition, that practice and of discounting stories and storytelling. And there's wisdom to that. So we don't get stuck in them and depend on the stories and and then if we don't assert our stories, or hang on to the stories or all kinds of things, but but there's also a time in place as part of the richness of the human life, the stories, and I'm sure all of you have a richness of stories to tell. So for some of you may be tough to mine them. But may your stories, be stories that free you take you by your own stories, and take you to to love all beings. And then as an appendix who says I'm saying this, I was going to stop now. But I have one more thing to say that. Many years ago, I knew a man who would come repeatedly over the years to me and talk about how he realized how stuck he had been in different stories. And over his lifetime. He was an old man that he had had all these stories that he had, and identities story that came together stories and density that he lived in, and that that was the truth, and then it put it down and just picked up another one. And he became a Buddhist practitioner. And eventually he said, You know now I don't have any stories anymore. What do I do now? How do I live now without a story. And I said to him that now listen to other people's stories. And what was behind that was the idea of listening with compassion, listening with care, listening in such a way that others are not stuck in their stories, but can grow and develop and go forth further and be respected. So thank you all very much and look forward to seeing you Monday. And not sure what the theme will be. But I think it'll be something that's in this general ariya of emotions that we've been doing these last two weeks, and it's kind of more or less continuing that. So thank you very much