[133] A Session on Compassion, Perspective and Mindfulness – with Joe Parent

12:04AM Oct 24, 2023

Speakers:

Alyssa

Karen Roper

joseph

Keywords:

compassion

feel

good

thoughts

awareness

spaciousness

practice

posture

suffering

mind

breathe

ukraine

emptying

little bit

tender heart

focus

breath

side

shoulders

beings

Hello. Welcome again. Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening, wherever you are. I was just listening to a program by Pinilla for mache and he always starts it good moment. Because it's always in the moment. It was on why's compassion which is an interesting topic. You know, Trump Rinpoche coined the term idiot compassion and the vajor region. One of his sayings was good intentions, mixed with confusion or a recipe for disaster. I was noticing a little bit of that. It was interesting. The New York Ties did an editorial with an apology. When there was the hospital and Palestine was bombed. Immediately the news outlets were informed that it was an Israeli strike, but they were informed by Hamas. And it turns out most of the evidence shows that it was a misfire from that side, which actually happened in Ukraine. as well. There was a marketplace that was a bomb landed. And it turns out it was a misfire from a Ukrainian missile headed towards the Russians on the front and the in the media wanting to get a scoop and report the news and jump to conclusions and accepted the initial versions of it. So I remember put a put a note on my refrigerator. Let me get back to you about that. So before we jump to conclusions we can say that's an interesting point of view. Let me get back to you about that. And do a little more research or at least a little more thinking so that we respond rather than react. And of course, you can't do that. Unless you have some spaciousness to your existence. Which is why we do this meditation practice. So that there's some space around what we're doing. Jump Rinpoche also the saying, Don't let your mind take the shape of your thoughts. Because once you believe in your thought and identify with it, then there's no room for anything else. There's no room for perspective. You become one with the thought and then take it as the only point of view that you can see. So like, like looking at a painting you need maybe need to take a step back to get some perspective to see the whole picture. tanked. I had a student one time who was giving himself a hard time about he was in some kind of swamp and and he was actually really one of the tops what he did. And we had a phone conversation I said, No, no, we'll walk over and stand with your toes touching the wall and your nose about an inch away. And he said, Okay, how much I said how much the room can you see? He said, Not a hell of a lot. said take one step back now how much he said well, I can see a good chunk of this wall. I said anything else in the room? He said Not really. And I said look behind you don't wait to fall over but take a couple more steps back. You have a bigger picture. And he said okay, I said well, look at your career. You're in a slump right now. And but it's a small part. You're just looking at this piece. And if you look at the whole thing, you're actually really good. And he said Damn, I am. And it just changed the perspective. So it's really helpful to have this spaciousness from our practice to be able to step back. And then the other thing, something that pull up Ruby she was saying, the weekend he was saying, people people think, you know, to have compassion, which is to wish for others and and ourselves, to them to for there to be less suffering and he said, you know, we have something we have. There's a you've heard the saying we're actually more of the same than we are different, but we just focus on our differences. If we focus on our sameness, that sameness is that we all want to have less suffering. We all want to have more. You know, we talk about happiness is a funny word. We all want to be more comfortable. At least we can say that content comfortable. Rarely content but at least comfortable. So he said people were telling him that it was hard to to focus on someone else compassion aged, I need to get better at paying attention and focusing and he said, Well, that's not really true. Look, look at how much you focus and pay attention on yourself. We're really good at that. We can focus on what we need and what we want to happen and what what's going on with us and how good or how, you know how difficult things are. We don't have any problem focusing on how difficult things are for ourselves. And and he said so you know, you can you can turn it around and focus on how difficult things are for someone else. He said we just think about me, but if you put yourself in the other person's place, then you can think about me as them. So I thought that was very cute. He got a good laugh for that. You're still thinking about me, but you're thinking about their me me as as them. And one person said if I were you I would have done this way. And I said, No, I don't think so because if you were me you would have done it. The way I did. What you mean is you meant to say if you were me, you would have done it this way. So we have all these little interesting ways that things flip around. We've talked about it before. If we look for where the problem is in a relationship, and it's so easy to point the finger that way. What if we turn it around and say what is it about me that has a problem with this situation? Now, that's where the idiot compassion comes in. You don't just say hey, it's all me. You You're fine. But if you leave things in the middle and not knowing in the let me get back to you about that space, then there's an opportunity to see what's actually what and the recipe that we've been given to do that from jovem shares, appreciate the intelligence and boycott the neurosis. In other words, make a discrimination for when the other person actually does have a good point. And it's okay to make the discrimination to say they're off base, as long as it's just not that they're off your base. I like when somebody asked the region to the budget region about helping somebody to get back on track. He said it's really good to help somebody get back on track. Just make sure it's their track, not your track. So all of these things are, are helpful, to have perspective and as we practice and work with our thoughts. Just notice the difference between thoughts arising in the spaciousness of your awareness. As opposed to your mind taking the shape of the thoughts and they hook you and take you away with them. And at some point, there's a gap. There's always a gap. And at that point, you realize, oh, I got swept away and lost in thoughts. At that moment, you're already back to the spaciousness. So smile and acknowledge that

sometimes we label that either you know the label thinking or thought sometimes I tell people, you can leave it someplace else. I was someplace else. And now I'm back. And the practice is to remember what our intention was. And there's two parts to our intention. One is that we're doing this practice so that we can be better able to help ourselves and others. And the other part of the intention is the practice that we're doing, remembering what that the technique is and go back to the technique in body, in speech and in state of mind. So with that in mind, let's start the practice.

So, to begin, most of you who have been here and welcome to those who haven't, you know, it's not such a good idea, since we're going to do good part of this practice with our eyes open not to be looking directly into your screen. So you can either move your seat or move your device or a little of both.

As the going fades just focus on your body. Let your eyes close for now. Focus on your posture, your body. Just feel your feet and your legs how they go into your hips, your torso, shoulders, move it around a little bit. We spend so much time in our thoughts in our head. Just drop your awareness into your body check out your sit bones. See if your weight is shifted too much to one side or the other. You can shift back and forth and find that balance that center where you're not move one way or the other. Legs can be crossed your feet flat on the floor, across your legs if when your feet are flat on the floor. If your knees are higher than your hips. If you're in a chair, if you're on a cushion, obviously you cross your your legs but again, make sure the cushion is high enough that your knees are a little bit below your hip level. It's easier on your back it's easier on your legs and then you want to feel like your spine is straight up and down on not tilted forward or back side to side and you can actually not at the waist but at the hip joints bend a little bit forward and back a little bit. Side to side to find that centered place. Let your weight sink right down into the cushion from there so you're centered and grounded. Your upper arms you want them hanging straight down from your shoulders. You're not reaching out forward or pulled back and then your hands from from your upper arms being vertical. You just swivel your hands up and let them rest palm down on top of each thigh respectively.

You don't want your neck tilted forward or your chin up and head tilted back or side to side. So again, feel like is it a continuation of that uprightness. From your tailbone all the way up past your shoulders through your neck to the back of the top of your head. That's a straight line in your chin comes in just a little bit. Leaving your head in that position. Focus on your breastbone, your sternum. You can use your finger if you want to find a place that's just a little bit below halfway down. It's kind of at heart level. There's a tender place there on your sternum.

Let that come up and forward just a tiny bit. You need to use a little bit of tension a little bit of effort. Just a half inch up and forward

you'll notice that opens your shoulders opens your chest your breathing becomes more more full in your lungs. Your shoulder blades naturally come together a little bit your chin stays tucked down a little down just straight back. Your job do relax but not hang your mouth hanging slack open so your lips here just just barely parted or just very lightly touching. You want to breathe in through our nose and it's okay if some of the air comes out through our mouth mainly breathing with our nose

just check out your posture. Now for the top of our head we're going to sweep away or let melt whichever feels better to you let let any extra tension that we don't need to hold our posture melt our skirt or scalp face and jaw, neck and shoulders. You may be holding your shoulders up and not even realize it really just let them let them hang straight down. Like your spine is a tent pole and your shoulders are Canvas hanging from the tent before it's pulled up into a tent. Hanging from the tent pole. Feels a little bit of tension the effort to raise your breastbone slightly up and forward. Let everything else relax around that soften around arms all the way down to your fingertips. torso, upper and lower back. Chest ribcage all around stomach and deep belly sometimes we're clenching our deep belly and pelvic region without even realizing it. Without losing your posture, just let it soften its attention well and slow down. As we let the tension go you can really feel your sitbon sinking into the cushion. hips, thighs hands knees calves, ankles and feet

bring your awareness back up to deep core. couple of inches below the navel right in front of your spine. We have depth to our torso we're not just side to side there's a front to back. You can feel the depth as you feel your lower torso expand as the breath comes in. Contract as the breath goes out around that core of energy, the hotter the dantian.

Movement of the diaphragm down pulls the air into your lungs but it feels like if you really let the air come in fully feels like it goes all the way down into your core. As if your whole torso is filling, an empty that your awareness rest mostly in the core with that feeling of filling and emptying, expanding and contracting. Now that your eyes opened about halfway so you're looking diagonally downward, under your eyelids soften your gaze you're not looking at something but just seeing the space that your body is sitting in and be an observer of your breath rather than director. Just notice deeper shallow longer short. Let the body breathe itself. I promise you don't have to tell yourself breathe in breathe out

be aware of the feeling of filling as the breath comes in. Emptying as the breath goes out and you can see the space that your body is sitting in as that's happening

feeling of the breathing is the object of our attention. But there's a background awareness of the space that you're in. Where maybe other perceptions like sounds. bodily sensations, smells just let those pass by your background. Feeling and filling and emptying is the foreground and as we said If your mind wanders off into thoughts just smile make a little mental note thinking or thought which means I was lost in thoughts. But now I'm back.

connect with your core feel the filling in empty do that for a few Minutes.

If you got drowsy and your eyes closed your posture slumped just reinvigorate your posture open your eyes fully. Chose rest look looking out wherever they rushed. Don't work to raise them or lower them. Move your awareness more to the upper part. Your breathing and feeling of the air coming in your nostrils and filling. Emptying going out

if your mind has been very, very busy. Go pure awareness back deeper into your core

just watch for thoughts as they pop up

watch from deep in your core.

Your awareness is the ocean thoughts are the waves

dissolving back into the ocean?

Going through it with a little bit of you need to reinvigorate your posture

saralyn A break fresh bone lifted

lift your gaze be straight ahead. Not all the way up to the horizon but just wherever your eyes rest naturally. Soften it so that you open up to your full peripheral vision. Side to side top to bottom. Retention is a soft awareness of the space that you're in out in front of you and all around

self awareness for your body breathing itself

one feeling that as each breath goes out that your awareness goes out with it. And as the breath dissolves into the atmosphere the room the same way let your awareness go out and open. Open and merge with the flow space with your

open let go of any particular focus. Body breathes in by itself. That's in the background of your awareness, as well as any sights, sounds, smells bodily sensations. All those are within the spaciousness of your mind. Out open, let go rushed in spaciousness. Out. Open let go with can spaciousness as the body breathes in by itself.

Do that for a couple of minutes.

Notice of thoughts rose within that spaciousness. Know that you can. You don't have to lead them somewhere. You don't have to follow them somewhere. Let them come and go rise and so.

To go foods, raise your views up to horizontal, maybe even a little bit of both. Imagine that your awareness extends out beyond the room you're in beyond the area that you're in. Now to the horizon in all directions. Now to the sky in all directions. Above and all around. Mind as big as sky with nighttime, as big as the night sky which is beyond for the stars

reckon that spacious open

was all that bring to mind all the beings that exist under the sky all the living beings will share with us the desire for freedom from suffering the desire to be safe and comfortable

now you can do the rest of the purchase with your eyes open or closed as you wish to think of something that makes you feel safe and comfortable

as you breathe out, imagine that is your breath. You're sending that out from all your pores in all directions.

to all the beings who lack it

think of the things that make you fearful?

of anxiety, anguish and struggle pain and suffering imagine as you breathe in that you can take all that away from all the other beings who feel that way. Right now. And let it be included in yours

so that you feel that calm and experience

send out comfort, safety, well being. Breathe in suffering and struggle let it ventilate your own suffering and struggle

it's the same as so many other beings. You're not alone in your suffering and struggle.

share with them your comfort, safety and well being

relieve them of their suffering pain. And struggle.

Now go deeper to the sources the causes of happiness and suffering the afflictive poisonous emotions all based in ignorance to your hatred, anger, jealousy, lust for power and greed. Imagine that you can take that away to set poison out of all the beings who are suffering from that. Extract it as you breathe in. Transform it in your tender heart of compassion to send them the causes of happiness, which are wisdom compassion, loving kindness

will move you ignorance and hatred and greed filled them with love wisdom and compassion.

All that energy of negative emotions is pure energy twisted by ignorance distorted.

You gather in that energy and purify it all that negativity. What's left is the pure energy lesson potential for love wisdom and compassion.

It's your own heart tender heart of love, wisdom and compassion that purifies all these negative emotions radiates out the energy of love and wisdom. And compassion.

TO GO Foods just lower your gaze. Let go. What you're contemplating. Back in the body back to your core settled

centered grounded

to conclude our practice

you can repeat after me or put in your own words the practice we've just done the benefit to others even more into ourselves

thank you so much for your participation

you have any anything you'd like to share? We can do so for the next few minutes. And if you have to leave at the top of the hour. Thank you for being here and we'll close a few minutes after I'll stay for a little over time.

Thank you for your comments. Megan.

There are some comments in the chat

that is interesting, isn't it? I kind of got myself a little bit on that last part of are tender heart can purify all those things. So the poor beings who are subjected to the same as if they're hypnotized by these poisonous emotions and they're doing things they don't even realize they're doing like a hypnotist. Subject and that's where our compassion can arise

not hate them we can hate the negative actions and the negative emotions that drive them to the

Karen, thank you for that comment. Yes. And and I have friends in Ukraine and that's not in the news at all yet. There's a tremendous amount of suffering still going on there. The Russians have actually upped their attacks to as if there's distraction from conflict in the Middle East. World on Fire

any questions about the practice or how you might want to do it on your own? This is a good time

know what I'm gonna have to amuse Jerry I remember speaking of putting yourself in someone else's shoes. This comedian said, you know if you're if you're about to get into a fight with somebody you should walk a mile in their shoes because then you're a mile away and you have their shoes

we can't we don't want to get too too heavy and serious about this. It's about spaciousness. It's always within the spaciousness that we can work with this. Yes, Pat, thank you. Yeah, we have to. We if we're in a place of peace, we can radiate that out to the world. That's the whole idea.

Nice just to sit here and be with everyone. Virtually but, you know, how different is that? It's that's the pros and the cons. We don't have the personal contact with we reach people from all over the world wouldn't be getting together with so nice to be with everyone that way. So thank you. And I think I want to get in two weeks is that right Alyssa? Yeah, it sure is. It might be three because of the extra Monday in the month. Let's see. We'll see. What we'll see is seven. Please do come to the practice of you. If you're available at 9am pacific time on Thursdays every other Thursday. So November 2 is the next one. The Lovely to see you. We also do a there you can look this up on things Shambala online, the compassion for Ukraine group that meets every morning at eight o'clock Pacific 8am Pacific do a half hour practice of sitting practice, then 1010 And then 10 minutes of tonglen in the middle and then 10 More sitting and then a half hour discussion. We've heard some people also we've also talked about the Hamas Israel situation. But it's within the compassion for Ukraine. Meditations you can find that online practices a good thing. So thank you for joining in this. We'll see you next time.

recording stopped

by Karen I was looking for my friend Karen. When we wouldn't have we wouldn't see each other for word for this year in Boulder. I'm in Ojai. So in Rhys as well. I chose my longtime friends. I don't want to say old longtime decades, decades it's right.

That I feel better. I you can get just overwhelmed by watching the news and so I'm trying to titrate the amount of watch or watch Public Television instead of the hysterical people but this made me feel a little more hopeful and good. So thank you,

you will come. I do the same. There's just so much well thank you. Bye, everybody. Good night. Not your hope you like that joke. Bye everybody. Bye bye