Hello and welcome to the Sunday jumpstart podcast, a weekly podcast helping go getters, ditch the excuses, do the work and make it happen. My name is Jessica Lauren, and you are listening to episode number 138 Hey, y'all. Hey, and welcome back to this week's episode of the SJ s podcast. Happy Sunday. I hope that all is well with you. And you're so what are we talking about today? They did. Today we are talking about honoring your capacity and bandwidth. You know, there are times when we feel burnt out, have you felt like quitting pivot, pivoting, putting things down, but we won't because it is hard for us colegas to admit that maybe we bit off way more than we can chew. We love rolling up our sleeves and doing the work because we're not scared of a little bit of hard work. But there are some times where you just legit do not have the capacity or bandwidth to add another thing to your plate. And that's what recently happened to me was something I just launched something I just launched, I already had to let it lay down, release it and quit. And typically when I have to quit something, there was so much shame and embarrassment. But this is the one time I let something go and I was super proud of myself for finally listening to my body. So today we're talking about how to honor where you are now not the part of you you wish to be or the part of you you're inspired by like oh I want to hustle like that person now are we talking about honoring where you are today in the capacity that you are in? So I'm excited to share this episode with you because I get to take all my business and hope that encourages you to finally let something go but before we do that, I just want to spend just a couple seconds thanking you for showing us some love over on Apple podcast through a rate and review and today's rate and review comes in from a Briana Simone brown pronouncing your name correctly and if I'm not I'm so sorry, but this is what she says she says this is my first rating ever well thank you girl. She said Oh, um Gee, I have been listening to podcast for years and even though I have found many of them so helpful. I've never written a review. I just started listening to this one a few days ago when I saw you recommend it on the front page since then. I have been obsessed with this podcast. Jessica when I listened to you I feel like I'm listening to the big sister I never had not only is your content so relatable and so on time your personality is what gets me from the Southside of Chicago Hey, and you know, I was hooked on when I found someone who looks like me and talks like me. I live in de F W now so listening to you is like a piece of home that I get to turn on whenever Thanks Jessica for everything listening to you lets me know that it's okay for me to sound like me and just be me I'm so proud of you cheers. Well I Briana girl Thank you sending you all the love from Chicago you know I was on the south east sad for years honey since I was 21 so that accidentally here is a piece of home and I'm so glad it just helps you feel comfortable using your your voice you know I always tell y'all I used to be so scared to podcast because not only you know did I become a woman on the southeast side of Chicago but I am born and raised in Detroit and I didn't get a really good education till high school so I'm always embarrassed that I sound a little he been a GI and my you know phonetics might not be proper, but Honey Yes, use your voice sound how you sound show up how you show up. I'm so happy that you found the podcast and that it has been resonating with you that is my one and only prayer like lawyer let this help somebody else out. So thank you so much. I really really appreciate it y'all listen one way that you can help get our make each message happen out there is by showing and sharing a rate and review in Apple podcasts. It really does help assist the out so if you could go ahead and pause today's episode go ahead and go be managed. pause right now and just go on Apple podcasts and leave like a quick little review that will mean the world to me. So thank you so much. Alright, without further ado, let's dive on into Episode number 138 honoring your bandwidth and capacity
Alright, so if you've been listening to the show, since let's just say January of 2022. You all know that I recently launched the morning jumpstart podcast. It's basically the live version of this show where every Monday morning, Monday through Friday, we will hang out over on Patreon and do a live show. So it was basically the same premise helping go get as dissed. Excuses, do the work and make this happen. but we do it every morning for about 1525, sometimes 30 minutes together. And it was so much fun. Like I had a group of about 20 ladies that will come on with me in the morning. And we would just help each other to set intentions and, you know, try to go forth and have a good day, it was such an incredible community. And we just all became fast friends, we kicked it, all of that all of that was good. Now, when I conceived of this idea, it was about a year and a half ago, I just for some reason, it just dawned on me like, Oh, I love to do a live show because podcasting, especially my format is just me sitting, you know, at my desk at the microphone just there hanging out, right. But I wanted to open the conversation up so that it can be a two way conversation, right? I am not an expert, like I am only living my life and sharing the things that I'm learning, you are the expert of your life. And I wanted to find a way to open up that conversation where I'm not, you know, just sharing the only one, share my stories and sharing my insights, I want a jaw to come out and share your stories and share your insights and, you know, let you flex your expert muscles in your own life, right. And so all was well we was having a good time people will show up and share. It was just a beautiful sight to see. And it was also my way of flirting with the idea of creating a membership site, right? There's this huge push for coaches to just experiment with the different way that you can coach and support people, right. I've been doing one on one coaching for a few years now. And I love it. But there was a part of me that was just like, I wonder if there's a way that I could switch my model. And instead of it solely being one on one, could there be a way that it could be one to many, right? And that way I could, you know, pull back my workload a little bit more and offer coaching at not such a premium price. Like my coaching is pretty expensive. It's an investment and so you know, opening up a Patreon was a way for me to do double duty right to show up every day on video because there's this push to to do video and I wanted to experiment with that and challenge myself with that. And also I wanted to just try out the membership thing without having to commit to it right because not only were we doing this live show, we also had virtual co working sessions and you know, hosted workshops. It was you know, it was beautiful, but behind the scenes. Your girl was struggling you know, I am in my second trimester. And ya know, they say the second trimester is supposed to be the most beautiful energetic part of the whole pregnancy. But I was still pretty much flailing just waking up still pretty sick to my stomach. Still just y'all I used to be the ultimate morning board. I used to wake up at 435 o'clock, no problem. But you know, nasty things that changed. Maybe I could stay in that bed till nine 9am. And I've never slept in in my life I've always been. Well, it's time to wake up. And it's because I pretty much I can't stay up past 930 I've always been like that, if you see me up late, China had bad cups of coffee to do that, right? Like, I really have to work to do that. But recently, you girl wants to sleep for 12 hours, I still go to bed at 930 and still be trying to wake up and that. And with the morning show there. You know, even though I would try to prep at night, I would just be past our past out in the afternoon. I would you know force myself to wake up at 530 to prep the show. I had a little mini script, there was some video components that wasn't just my face. Like I had a little animation and you know, it had to change every day and it was fine. But that part of me that could just hop out the bed at 530 girls she disappeared. Okay, I couldn't find that girl at all. So waking up at 530 Put on a full face of makeup coming out with an outfit. It just took all the energy in me to just do those things that I used to just whiz through right? And so I get on camera we have a good time but that whole time before I hit Go Live I be literally popping every vitamin B's 12 pregnancy sucker aka sucker home to help you know calm, the nausea. I wouldn't have time to eat properly. I'm discovering if i Hurry up and eat breakfast and eat throughout the day. I won't be so sick. But I was just a mess and I hit Go Live and just put on that face. i Hey, I was like let's go.
So you know that first week, it just hit me like this is not sustainable. I do not have the capacity to do this every single day. I knew that from the first episode like and it's funny because the past full length episode that we did episode number 137 I think was all about experimentation and how to like go out After your goals from a scientific kind of standpoint, and I'll be sure to leave that in the show notes. I've gotten a lot of good feedback about that episode. How if you just come at stuff for curiosity, right, just like, huh, I think I can make a morning show. And then you just allow yourself to experiment you won't be so you know, just like devastated when things don't work out. And it's so funny whenever you know, I preach a preach sale where God blah, oh, you talking all that stuff. I'm gonna make you walk the walk. And so sure enough day one that I hit launch, it was a successful show, I was surprised by how many people showed up. And you know, all of this stuff. It was beautiful to sign up for the different tears. I just knew, like, there is no way I could keep doing this. And pre pregnancy obviously, I could do this forever and ever. Amen. Because you guys know, I work from home full time. Like, this is my full time job now. So it was the oldest girl that is nothing, baby. It was everything. I just couldn't do it. But here's the thing, I was trying to prove a point to myself, like But hold on, girl, I am the hair chief. Go get I'm the Queen Mother of getting is done. There is no way that a little 20 minute daily show is gonna kick my as as like, I was just like, Nah, I don't care. You know, and I think I was also trying to prove to myself that I can be the Jessica who is type A and go after her goals and go full force and don't take no for an answer and create her own lane. Whether she pregnant or not. I was trying to keep up with the Jessica from just five months ago, right? And I couldn't keep up I just couldn't. And it was so you know, like that's I feel like for people that aren't go getters. That's like an easy revelation. Like earlier, if you couldn't do it, you couldn't do it. You need to go on and move on. But for us go getters to admit that I bit off way more than I can chew. It hurts because we're used to just just rolling up our sleeves and doing the work that used to be such a badge of honor to me like I don't mag in dirt. Yeah, oh man stand up. i Oh, man waking up early. Oh, man, you know, sitting at the computer for 10 hours a day, I can do this, I make this happen. And while that is true, I do make it happen. I just don't have the same capacity, that of energy that I had just a season ago. And it's a come to terms with that was a little bit devastating. You know what I mean? It was just like, No, I don't want to give up. But it was just like, Jessica, you know, this isn't sustainable. There's, there's just no way right now in your life. And so you know, I did it for you know, I think it was five, six weeks, and all was well. But behind the scenes, it was really not coming out. And if you guys noticed, I would miss you know, a quick tip over here, miss the full length episode over here, because it was just a lot of work. And I just get burned out quick. So I had a little talk with Jesus. And, you know, lately I've just been really exploring such an honest relationship with myself and what God I used to try to push through and just smile through and I would feel things inherently in my body. But I still be like now that's okay, we just don't make it do what to do. But lately, I've been like God this too much. Okay, just good. You and God and like that no more. And it's hard because who wants to admit that they're a quote unquote, failure or that, you know, there's so much shame and quitting right, it's always keep going. quitters never win, you know, push through. And there's, there's a space of time for all that I do believe that if you keep going, you know, there, there's a rainbow at the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, all of that. But by not 24/7 360 Bad days of here not year after year, there are some things that you just have to release. There are some times that you have to pivot, there are some times that you just have to lay it down, right. If quitting sounds too harsh, lay down, release, press, pause whatever you got to do. But that's where I was. I just had to admit, I can't do this. So last week, I got home without any warning on the last show. And I was just like, Hey guys, this Thursday is my last episode. And you know, we just had that whole discussion about bandwidth. Basically what we're talking about today just like to share my good girlfriend. She was in a group she was just like, Jessica, if you ain't got it, you ain't got it. And that's what it boils down to because it's not a thing of being tired or being burned out. I just don't have that right now. Not I just don't have that. daily Monday through Friday 8am that right now and that is okay, right? Sometimes you just in a season where you have all the energy, or the stamina or you could go hard for you and yours you can stay up to the wee hours in the morning you can, you know, invest in courses and do just do whatever it is that you do. But there are some seasons where it's just like, Gee, I gotta say this coach, I need to sit this one out, pass me a tab pass me a while I'm gonna just watch the game from here. That's what I was where I was. So I went on ahead and told everybody y'all Thursday is my last show and it was a Monday just like this is it? And thankfully, everyone was supportive. And it was it was it felt good I have not been more proud of myself to quit something that in that moment because for once in my life, I listened to my body it only took me for the past six weeks to do it. But normally I will ignore myself for years like chat I'm burned out on camera keep going just because I was such a part of host hustle culture. You know, when I started all this this was the beginning of girl boss and better I bought into girl Boss Life handsy I was about that millennial pink, I went down to create and cultivate and Dallas, you know, like I just ate it up. I loved Sophia amorosa from girl boss and you know, Melissa Butler of lit bar, like, you know, the mere rays of the world. These are girls I went to high school with like Melissa and Mia. And it was just like, yes, I want to be a part of this world. Let's go. And so all of us was just like, get up grind, grind, let's go glue. But yeah, when I started, I was 29 I am 37 I am in a different space than I was, you know, in 2015 it is 2022. And while I've done a good job of showing up and doing work and being a goal get and ditching my excuses. I just can't work from that constant. You know, drive to be on that productive hamster wheel, my relationships to productivity is changing and to entrepreneurship and what it means to show up is changing just because I'm in a different space, it is okay to outgrow things.
It's okay to outgrow beliefs. It's okay to outgrow, you know, the your lifestyle people places things. It's okay. And that's I think that I'm just in this space of outgrowing things simply because I just can't hold things the way I used to hold them right. And I know I'm not the only one I was you know every Wednesday my good girlfriend L'Oreal. Payton Thompson Thompson paying LT in a city chat. She got married on us and we always like mix up her name is he the L'Oreal Payton Thompson or L'Oreal Thompson Peyton Anyway, she's LTX in the city over on Instagram if you want to check her out, and she has a couple episodes on here talking about salary negotiations all day. I'll link it in the show notes. But literally, like 10 minutes before I sat down to record this episode, every Wednesday her newsletter comes out. And she has a newsletter about this very thing. L'Oreal is a very high power writer. She writes for every publication you could think of had a huge job with a nonprofit. But then she became a mom and she's writing a book right now she has a book deal. She has all this going on. And she just was like, I just cannot I can't compete with the old Laurie L and I had to lay some stuff down and release it right.
Here's the thing if you are in a space where you feel overwhelmed, burned out, listless like I don't even know where to start. I don't know what to do. It might be time to do a temperature check with your capacity right? Who you are today. Does it different from who you were a year ago when you said oh yeah, I could take that project you're on? Oh yeah 20 clients Oh yeah, I could work at the brick and mortar Oh yeah, I'm open my own last Oh yeah. I'm have two podcasts. Oh yeah. My upload to YouTube every day. Our does all of that still rang true for you ring true for you rather? If it does Bear Bear, keep going. Okay, I'm gonna pass the baton to you. Please keep going. All of us that's like, look, I ain't got it. But if you start to feel like me, well, your body is starting to give you symbols a this don't feel sustainable normal. Hey, we might want to slow down. Please, I beg of you start listening to that that is trying to guide you towards more peace. Less mental anguish, is trying to release you from having a to do list that is 25 miles long. If you listen hard enough, it might be a symbol for you to press pause, pivot, restructure, you know, I'm saying like I told the people over at the morning jumpstart, like, hey, this might not be it forever, but I might restructure it. So I'm flirting around with the idea of like, could I do this show as just the audio podcast as a subscription, where I could sit down and knock out 10 episodes at a time, upload them to Buzzsprout and let Buzzsprout produce them, you know, push them out every single day. That's an option. Do I have to show up on video in that way? No. So you can restructure things, you can press pause and say, Hey, I'm going on a hiatus. You can take a break my good girlfriend, Natalie Liu, who is the host of the baggage reclaim sessions, that'll be in the show notes. She constantly takes a break, honey, you look, she'll be 10 episodes. And then she's like, Yep, I'm going to Jamaica for two months. I see y'all later. Maybe it's about that. But it all starts before you can take and make those decisions. With you being honest about your capacity, do you have the energy to really commit to the things that you are committed to for a long period of time? Now, if I was doing a morning jumpstart for a week, maybe I can knock that out. But for me to say forever and ever, amen. I just knew it wasn't sustainable. What in your life isn't sustainable right now? What have you been carrying? That, you know, is getting a little too heavy for you right now? Right? Wow. Like, you got to answer those questions so that you can know. Okay, is this something that I can delegate? Is this something that I can outsource? Is this someone else I can hire to help me out? Is Do I just need to lay it down? If quitting doesn't sound good for you? Maybe the the new language to use is I just got to lay it down just for a second, give it a rest. So that I could move for it right. But we have to honor the capacity that we are in now, where we are two years after No, during a global pandemic, I think that has a lot to do with it, as well. You know, just constantly I think I read an article in The New York Times they call it languishing where, you know, apparently, our brains and our bodies only have like a certain amount of what the f that they can deal with that we can deal with on a regular basis. Right. And I think the capacity is something like you got a good six weeks, six, I'm fine articles that are don't butcher they put in the show notes. But we only have so much space that we can deal with devastation or trauma, right? Well, we've been dealing with this for two years straight, the pandemic racial injustice, injustice, just just everything political bull crap, right? Even net I think has some wear and tear on my body. Right? And my mental. Where are you now if you can't hack it? It is okay. Because remember, all of this is just an experiment. You get to play around with your life. You get to plan your business, you get to plan your relationships, you get to play because you are the creator and it is absolutely okay. If you're like, oh, yeah, I could do this. You know, do my fans show up, create a business and you get into it, you realize this ain't that if you ain't got it, you ain't got it. And I'm not saying give up instantly, right? The reason why I gave myself permission to give up the morning jumpstart outside of you know, just trying to navigate motherhood and all that stuff is because I have been creating content since 2015. I don't know if I did the numbers here on the morning Jumpstart. On no real jewelry, there is 350 published blog posts. That ain't even the stuff that's in the archives where I was like, Oh, that's not good enough. Let's just save it right? There are over almost you know, what episode is this? With all of the quick tips. I think it's like 190 episodes, I had to write 190 show notes for that. There's countless newsletters. There's Instagram posts. When I was on Snapchat, I was showing up honey, there's a tick tock around you, you know, I'm saying there is so much content that I have floating out there. And if you add the 23 episodes that I did for the morning, jumpstart or whatever, then I can sit on my laurels I can sit and take a chill pill out because I got my stuff flowing around all of my content is floating around on Pinterest and God where it could still work for me when I'm working. So after you know was 2015 and 2022, seven years, you know, after seven years, I can say BAM landed down because I didn't just make this decision overnight because I was uncomfortable because you know I was throwing up in the morning. Nah, this is seven years in the making where I can say you know what, it's time to pivot restructure, quit lay it down. If this is something completely brand new to you And you're flirting with the idea of quitting just because it's a little uncomfortable or you're like showing up a little bit or you wouldn't get the results you want right then and there. I encourage you to keep exploring and to keep experimenting with it, right. But if you are in a state where this is like chronically going away, it might be time to lay it down and release it right release the idea back into the way out so that maybe somebody else can pick it up and try it. You know, there's this book called Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, where she talks about how ideas are born and how ideas aren't just ours. You know, when you have a good idea you like Oh, make a planner and you're just like I just want to do some market research and you look up planners and somebody's already got the goal get a planner, the hustle hard the planner the day you know, like whatever idea you have is already out there now it's not because your copy copycat, or you're not creative enough ideas will land on as many people as possible because it's just trying to get out to the masses, right? And my we, you and I can have the same idea, but because of our backgrounds and who we are and our flavors and aesthetics, it's gonna be slightly different you know, I'm saying so it is okay, if you release an idea, lay it down press pause is my belief to let it go and let let somebody else Have at it so that it could still minister to whoever it was supposed to ministers minister
to work gave me a gift. If y'all come up and I see you on Instagram you like Hey, welcome to my video lab Daily Show us on Patreon. I'm making this money I'm like, girl go I'll since because I couldn't do it. And that's not to say I won't pick it back up or any of those things. I'm just like, go off like I I released the idea. And so it can help somebody else out or it can, you know, do whatever it needs to do. I love that idea about ideas because we don't own it like you don't have to suffocate it. I'm not the first podcaster blogger Vlogger and I won't be the last say so it is okay. That is a complete tears. I don't even know where that came from. Maybe somebody needs to hear that. But it's okay. If you need to quit and pivot I did a whole nother episode about quitting. I'll be sure to link it in the show notes where I go in depth about the signs that it's time to quit pivot switch, move on, I'll be sure to link in the show notes. It's like way more Meteor but I just wanted to come in and show you guys that when I say I'm experimenting with things and I'm letting things go and I'm laying things down and releasing it I'm not lying this is happening in real time. And I want you to know that if you've been feeling like that that you're not alone you can still be a bomb as dope go getter is still have boundaries and still say this is too much and still say oops I bit off more than I could chew is still say this isn't sustainable is still saying I might need help or you know I need to outsource it is okay. So that is what I want to leave you with the tip today is that capacity changes it evolves you you don't have to fight to keep up with the old version of yourself who you are today is completely different from who you are five years ago a year ago six months ago and it's okay for you to show up as that new version of yourself that is just operating from a different capacity you don't have to be the gogetter that you know didn't sleep didn't eat you know you couldn't drink water until you finished your stuff you don't have to be that person you could be a go getter and and be and have boundaries have time boundaries you know you could say that's too much I can't do this no or yes I invite this in you get the power to change things up and lay it down release it quit it pick it back up when you feel like so you're that is it it for today's episode thank you so much for tuning in. I listen I mentioned a lot in today's episode if you didn't get a chance to jot anything down do not worry. I got your back just go to the Sunday jumpstart.com and click on today's episode The book will be there everything that I mentioned that article budget will be in the show notes. You want to hang out with me outside of just the podcast. Be sure to check me out over on Instagram the handle is at the Sunday jumpstart if you want to contact me via email, you can do that via high at Sunday. jumpstart.com you guys that is it for today's episode. I will be back here this Wednesday with a quick tip that's a short little mini episode that'll help you finish your week strong until then. Y'all stay in Paris. I love you so much. And I hope that you have an incredible alright
