Episode No. 132 Speak It Series I Know What to Do + I Trust Myself - 10:25:21, 5.30 PM

11:00PM Oct 25, 2021

Speakers:

Jessica Lauren

Keywords:

business

trust

god

podcast

affirmation

messed

listening

money

people

called

life

instagram

jumpstart

girl

day

youtube

fail

episode

afraid

workout

Hello and welcome to the Sunday jumpstart podcast, a weekly podcast helping go getters, ditch the excuses, do the work and make -ish happen. My name is Jessica Lauren and you are listening to episode number 132. Hey y'all Hey, and welcome back to this week's episode of the SJS podcast Happy Sunday. I hope that all is well with you and yours and y'all I just wanna apologize for being MIA last weekend baby. It was a lot going on. And I just could not find my way to the podcast chair but it is okay because I am back and ready to go. We are continuing our Speak It series and today's affirmation is: "I know what to do. And I trust myself." You see, a lot of times we go out for external validation to show us what our next best steps are. But the truth of the matter is, is that the answers are already within you. So today we're going to be talking about how to tap in that trust of self and how to just do you without always seeking out a podcast, a book, whatever you do tutorial all the time, like relying one is nothing wrong with getting information. But if you're at the point where you can make a move until a guru says it or expert tells you to do it. Then baby we got we got an issue and we don't fix it for today's episode.

But before we dive into that, y'all Today's episode is sponsored by my good friend, Taylor Elyse Morrison and her company, Inner Workout. Y'all inner workout is an incredible resource if you are focused on prioritizing your self care, and it ain't all bubble baths and masks and crystals and all of that stuff. Her whole company is all about practicing self care without all of the shoulds inner workout is your self care support system, and its products and experiences that help you do the inner work in a way that works for you. And today, y'all, I want to tell y'all about her Instead Cards. Now it is a card deck for scrolling less. I don't know about y'all-but the first thing I reached for first thing in the morning is my phone. And y'all know the first place I go? Twitter. I do when I'm done with Twitter baby, I go on Instagram and go on the Shade Room, get my tea for the day. And then I might go on YouTube and watch my little YouTube gossip videos about the beauty community and all that jazz. And I'll look up and see like oh my goodness, I've spent an hour minding everybody else business. And to me it's so important to tap into what was going on in your world before you start checking in with what's going on on social media and in the news and all of that stuff. So Taylor came out with these cards, they are called again the Instead Deck and whole premises instead of scrolling on your phone, you could spend a few minutes reflecting or you know affirming yourself for the day or what have you some a pool, a couple of them right now. And it also has some very deep questions, honey that will tell all your business. But let's say you wake up in the morning and you're on your phone and you know that that's your time to get your mind right where you should be just getting focused before you get into anybody else's. So I'm going to read off a couple of them to you just so you get the gist and I'm also going to be showing them over on Instagram. Follow @thesundayjumpstart so that you can see a real Insta Stories showing off all of these amazing Inner Workout products. I got a journal a pin they have a product called Stasis and is a balancing essential oil blend that you could put on your temples or your wrist like Taylor thought they are so here's a couple cards. The first one I pulled says where are you pretending when that's how Java is some deep questions in this deck that'll help you like heal, grow and show yourself some grace, I wasn't playing. So the first one says where are you pretending? Instead of playing on your phone first thing in the morning baby even talk to your inner child and work some things that right another instruction says Sit with your discomfort. We're so used to happen on our phones to try to basically manage our pain and our pain can be discomfort or uneasiness. Taylor saying Hey sit in that right because eventually the more you get used to discomfort the less afraid of it you are right. We got something that says do something kind for your body. What does that look like for the day stretches the card nourish yourself embrace boredom are so much creativity is born in boredom. So she's saying embrace it. Here's one that says read. She's asking what would you rather be doing? Savor the present moment. I love that set intention. You determine your worth you choose the narrative like these are so good. This one says Document the moment just for you. If this sounds like something that could really help you out first thing in the morning, be sure to check out innerworkout.co and get cho hands on be instead that it really does help me just get get it together in the morning right I typically pull one of these and then I might journal and drink some water. It just helps me set the tone for the day. And then I could play on social media later, but I come first, me caring for myself. And nourishing my soul is first. So shout out to today's sponsor, Taylor Elyse Morrison with inner workout co Be sure to check them out. I will link Taylor and her business in the show notes. And again, I will show off everything in today's Insta story and make a real so that you guys can see it in real time. All right, y'all, now that we have official SJ s podcast business all tied up, let's jump into today's into today's episode is episode number 132: Speak It Series, I know what to do and I trust myself.

Okay, so as of August 2021, I have been officially self employed. That's right. I am one and only full time employee. Now if you've been following me for any length of time, you all know that this isn't my first rodeo at taking the leap of faith into entrepreneurship. In fact, I tried it back in 2019.

You know, I decided like Lord, I feel it in my chest. I know as to how to make this leap of faith. And so I started, you know, the process of monetizing my business. I have been a content creator for years since 2015. And to be honest, I've been all artists all my life, okay, we say content now. But what we what I do, storytelling and all of that stuff and healing, maybe that's an art. But anyway, I've been doing this since 2015. And if you count act an even longer than that. But anyway, since 2015, I was pumping out content, but it wasn't until 2019 where I really got serious about making money in my business. And so that's when I started really going hard and brand partnerships, and I launched you know, my goal getter sessions and the dreamer, doer meetups, like I was really, really out here hustling, and God bless me, I was making money. The issue was is that when I took my leap of faith, I didn't have a buffer, right? I just like, I want to do that freelance stuff, no more. I'm out here, I'm really just going to focus on my clients and doing my thing. I didn't really have that much money saved, I was going strictly off a passion. And you know what, I'm not even mad at myself, for me and my life. I want to explore and experiment and test things out. And I'm a firm believer, if you know, Google Maps can reroute me when I make the wrong turn, God can do the same thing for me. And of course, we want to avoid failing and messing up and all of that jazz, and we want to wait for the right moment. But sometimes you gotta jump out there. And that's what I did in 2019. I was like, Look, I'm out here. And I was making money. It was good money. The thing though, was entrepreneurship that a lot of people don't talk about is that it can be depending on your model. It can be inconsistent. You know, like, some days you might somebody might pay they $3,000 invoice in full okay, but then some days, some people might opt in for your payment plan, right? Some people if you're working with brands, they have a thing called net30, Net60, Net90, which means they're gonna pay you for 30,60, or 90 days and I really didn't account for that, you know, and and prior to that, I think a reason for my ignorance or late night negativity girl that's worse up is because I had been a freelancer for so long, you know, I hadn't worked from 2013 until 2020, that whole seven years sprout. I was a freelancer. So I was kind of used to not getting paid all the time. Like I just got into the habit of paying three month's rent upfront three months of my car No, and just kind of winging it, you know, like, I had no issue with that. But in a business, it was just like, oh, because I stopped my freelance stuff, too. It was just like, oh Chile its getting real, especially because I was living in city. I had city bills, you know, gas is expensive. I was paying rent, student loans car note, car insure- and all of that it was just too much and eventually, when the pandemic hit, luckily enough, God bless me with my job. I was there for a year and a half got laid off this summer, and here we are.

And so I'm like, Okay, God, I failed at this very thing that I'm attempting to do before, right, and I will try to take a listen to my episode about failure. It is called, It's Time We Talk about That Dirty Little F word, Failure. I'll be sure to link it in today's show notes. Just go to thesundayjumpstart.com and click on today's episode, it'll be right there for you to listen to later. But um, I got very candid on what it's like to fail publicly, fail loud and wrong and embarrassment, how to how to get back up, right? Because past failures do not determine future success. You know, like what I did in the past ain't got nothing to do with what I'm doing in my business in 2021. But I was still shook, and I'd be lying. I'd be the world's biggest liar. If I said I wasn't afraid, because I've been through this, you know, I'm saying so, here we are in August. And I'm like, God, thank you, you know, I'm taking me get laid off as a sign just go for it right? Because y'all, I will be 37. Okay, I'm recording this episode on Monday, October 25, which means this will air on my birthday, I will be 37 on October 31. And I have been working since I was 13 years old. My first job I have. My first job was actually three. I was working at the YWCA, I was working at Kroger as a bagger girl. And then eventually what I think I turned 14 or 15, I started working at Burger King. But there was a time I was doing all three, I have been working since I was 13. And I've been working for someone else since I was 13. And I know myself, I'm not really built to have a desk job, I'm not knocking it. It's just some Nimmy you know, I'm an artist. I've acted and been on tour for years, like I've never had a traditional, I've had traditional jobs, but from adulthood, I've just needed, you know something different. So I'm like, God, maybe this is my sign to go, you know, do it. And so I do it, I'm like I'm not, I'm just out here, I'm just gonna focus on creating money and a constant flow of good money in my business, but I don't want to do it wrong. So I'm like, Okay, now that we got this free time, I already know how to create content in my sleep, I could do that I don't have to really focus on that, because I can whip up my computer and spend an hour, you know, just typing up something and I'm good. But what I never got a chance to do was really focus on my business. And you know, focusing on email marketing, right, setting up opt ins and freebies, and mini courses and all culture product, whatever, I never got a chance to actually do because I was so used to Okay, get up and go to work from 630 to 230. And then stay in traffic from 230 to have Dana dog on near four o'clock. You know, when I get home, hurry up and shower. And then you know, work on yourself for a couple hours. Now I got 24/7 to do what I need to do.

So I was like I need to focus on the business side because the content creation is got me where I needed to be. But I'm trying to scale. So I started reading everything. I'm talking every book you could think of Profit First had a we should all be millionaires by Rachael Rogers. I started taking master classes and really get it involved. I'm in a coaching program and learning things for my coach. And then I started watching YouTube University and listening to every podcast about being a CEO and making smart money moves. And also aside from that, my boo was in finance. And he's been teaching me about investing and crypto and I just was in like a very deep, deep, deep research mode in my life. And I love research. I really do. I really love learning a lot of things. But here's what started happening, right? One person would say you know what you need to focus on you need to focus on Instagram. I'm like, Okay, I should focus on Instagram. Yep, I would you say it makes sense. Okay, cool. But then I be on Instagram like, this is distracted like I love Instagram. But I'd much rather be working you know, like it's fun for Kiki but it distracts the heck out of me that sometimes that's why I've always been dipping in dipping out of it. But y'all are there and I love talking to y'all. So it's like okay, cool. We can hop on Instagram but then somebody else might say, well Instagram is dying you should be on TikTok. TikTok, is Gen Zers you should be working on your email marketing. Email marketing is dead. You should focus on YouTube. YouTube is wack. You should focus back on TikTok. Oh, you make your freebies don't make freebies they did. You should be on Pitre- in it. Everything started to come conflict, conflict conflict or whatever. Everything just started not making sense because I was I had too many voices in my ear. And that ain't no knock at them. They are industry professionals have six figure months and I done retire my husband I retired my dog Like these are incredible people they know they stuff. But do they know the plans that I have for my business? Do they know my why were they there with me when you know, God was shooting with me in the gym giving me these visions for my business? Like when I lay at night in bed and think about my audience, like they're not there with me and, and gurus and coaches and all that stuff is great, right? I'm never not gonna invest in that stuff. But there comes a time where we use research and advice and oh, let me watch one more tutorial as a crutch because we are afraid. We try to find the answers and what the Pinterest meme might say. Or what somebody on Tik Tok done said or what the podcast host then said, because we don't trust ourselves. I know I didn't, because I messed up. I had a public record of messing up. I was on Instagram one day, showing off the house just like I wasn't even showing it off. It was just like, oh, yeah, look at the sun. It was a beautiful day, in my living room, we have floor to ceiling, Windows or whatever. And somebody was like, Oh, my God, you our goals. Your house is so pretty. And I was like, Girl, thank you. But let me tell this whole story. And I posted my Chase accounts, right? When I had negative 250, negative $60, negative $500, you know, like, we are so quick to share our highlight reels, but there were times where I was really, really struggling and I didn't want to go there. So I was like, God, I'm going to get as much information as I can. Because I messed up. You know, I'm saying Sallie Mae was on my tail. It was the few times I had to call Wells Fargo with my dogon kinda like him pay out. You know, like, it was just a mess. And I don't want to go there. Mind you like I said, I was doing that whole starving actress thing that was kind of not the thing to do. I hate to say that. But sometimes when you're a creative, there's this narrative that we accept that like, Oh, I'm an artist, I don't have to worry about that. And I think I really did start buying into that, like, I don't have to be financially savvy, because I'm an artist, you know, eventually, I'll get one big break and pay all this stuff off. Because it's true. You know, like when you go on TV, and you start getting residuals and all that stuff. You really can packet some pretty coins. But girl, why live with that. And that was a whole thing about my relationship with money and being afraid of money. But nonetheless, I'm devouring all this information because I just don't trust that I can make this happen. So God is cool, because as I'm listening to everybody, I start getting tired. I'm like, I listen, this person, I said this, this don't make sense. I tried to do what she said. But it's not working. And so I'm like, eventually, I'm like, I don't want to hear nothing.

It's so funny. I was talking to my friend, Mary Lou. She's my creative business bestie. And we used to go on tour together for years or whatever. So we're really close. And she's kind of in the same boat as me. She is a content creator over on YouTube, and she helps teach tutorials about going live and TikTok and all that stuff. And she was just like, we were talking and I was like, I don't want to know anybody else's advice. I don't want to watch another webinar masterclass, none of that because I know what I need to do. And she's like, Yeah, I do too. And it was like, we had this aha moment. Like, I know what needs to be done in my business. I know what needs to be done in my life is just that I want somebody else to tell me what to do. Because if I fail, then it's their fault. Right? Like, Oh, it didn't work because that Guru said, X, Y, and Z and it didn't work. So it's her fault. And so I'm looking, I'm just looking for somebody else to take the fall. So that pressure isn't on me. But because God has got he got he made me so annoyed with all that stuff that eventually I was like, I don't want to hear any of it. Right? I stopped going on YouTube. You know, I'm halfway done with some book like six books, because I just was like, I just can't take it. I want to hear what I want to do with my business with my life. Right? I want to know what's my next steps? Like I don't want to hear anybody else tell me because they don't know the strategies and the recipes and all of that worked for them. Now don't get me wrong, some things are you can you can replicate them, right? Like there are some things in certain industries that you can do to get results and I'm not knocking any of that. But when you rely on that, and that becomes your crutch. Then we got a problem, right? God bless all those people. They are doing amazing work, but they are not my one and only true guide and a compass to where I need to be. I am. God is My audience is I sent out an email the other day, when you're struggling with your goals, is it your mindset? Is it productivity, tell me what it is. And I got flooded emails, hey, I'm distracted. Hey, I need help with time management hey-, and it was just like, duh, this is what I need to be focused on next, right helping solve this problem for these people. I know what to do. And so today, as you know, I have my editorial calendar in Trello. Like I know, every week what I need to get done, but the affirmation for today that I was going to record about was about money. And money is kind of such a sensitive topic that just didn't really feel led to talk about it today. Like I just was like, you know, like, oh, no, you got to be in the head, the right headspace, about money. And with us being in and out of a pandemic, and all of that stuff. I was like, can we talk about that later. So you know, earlier today, every day, when I sit down, I sit down with my planner, and I'm just, you know, picking out my top three tasks that I need to get done. But before I do that, I always write an affirmation in the morning. So let me read some from the past. Like the other day, I said, Don't overthink it. It can be an affirmation or just like a little cute note to myself. Sorry, I'm flipping through it. Don't overthink it. God has my back.

What else do we got here?

Good news is on the way. Today is a perfect day to try again. Look on this day. I said I wasn't feeling well. Well, I guess I wasn't feeling it that day. On October 1. I said new month new blessings. Like every day, I just write something different. But today, I wrote down, I know what to do. And I trust myself, right? I know what to do. And I trust myself. And the reason I wrote this down even before I sat down to write this podcast was because it was like, I keep I be saying like I I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do next. What should I do? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Grow, you know what to do. You know exactly what to do. But you are afraid you won't make the decision because you are afraid that perhaps you have to go without perhaps you have to show up. Perhaps you have to get into the limelight. Perhaps you don't have to let some friendships go. Perhaps you don't have to step on out of a relationship. You act like you don't know what to do. Because you're afraid of stepping up showing up asking for more requiring more wanting more of not settling no more. That's why you doing that whole? I don't know. I don't know. What should I do. I'm looking for advice from everybody else except for me. Because then you are responsible for yourself in your own decisions. And it might trigger you having to deal with some things. So prime example of this when I was in my situation ship for three got doggon years. I was miserable, especially that last year. The first one was good because it was it was cute. Second year, I was kind of like, I want more I know that I'm settling. And I know I'm playing myself I know he playing me like this is a mess. But third year actually, every birthday I be like God, I want to be in something real and loving and reciprocal this by my birthday. So every birthday I'd be like Lord Hey, I am again with this boy, you know, like Get away from me. And it was just like, you don't need to listen to another relationship podcast. You don't need to read another book and mind you all of that stuff served me I'm not saying don't get help, please get help get all the help you need. But I was beyond me to help. I knew what I needed to do. But I was scared I was scared that if I put my foot down and say hey, the way you're loving me if that's even what you call it is not enough for me. I was afraid that if I said that I wouldn't have anything it was a fear thing right? I was afraid that if I say hey I want this to be just you and me not nobody else in this relationship I thought that he'd be like oh well you too high maintenance and lead you know I suffer from abandonment issues from things in my childhood and all of that all that was coming into surface when I wasn't making the decision I knew exactly what I needed to do a year or two ahead of time but I wouldn't out of fear right so now here we are different situation right I believe that you won't like the lesson that life is trying to teach you will continue to show up until you finally learn it, right?

Here I am a business this is completely different than a relationship right here I am with what I begged God for God please me release me from the chains I haven't work cycle work for myself full time in my business. I got granted that wish and now here I am playing the I don't know game, and it's because I am afraid of messing up again. But here's the gag. Every time I made a firm decision. It worked out For my greatest good all of it, the good the bad, the ugly everything God still remix there. So it worked out for my greatest good. Did I get some bumps? Upside my head sometimes? Yes. You know, did I fail publicly? A couple times? Yes. Was I embarrassed? Yep. But that's par for the course I've said it a million times on this podcast, get into the habit. You know, it's so funny because I'm like, don't listen to other people, but also listen to people. So you got to take stuff with a grain of salt, right? So instead of listening to things of like, this is what you should do. I've been getting into the habit of listening to shows like how I built that with how I built this with Guy Raz. And I love that show, because he's talking to people that made it, but it's their journey story, right? And it talks so much about their failures, right? All of these people that we look up to, we're a hot mess, express losing money failing, getting fired up as the CEO in their own business, I need to start listening to that so that I can get used to being a mess. This is the first time I was second time. This is I'm still new to this. You know, I'm saying it's okay. If it isn't perfect every single day, but I trust that I am capable, that God has my back that ever all of my steps are ordered and everything is going to work out for my greatest good. I believe that I am enough already. I have what it takes. I can do hard things that things get easier for me every day. I believe that it is okay to get research and okay to have mentors and okay to be coached. But do not get to the point where you rely on them so much in external podcasts even if it's me external validation, even if it's my podcast, don't get used to rely on me. As you saw last week, I even had a new episode because I was so caught up in my business drama, rely on yourself, get quiet enough so that you can hear what do I want? What do I want to do? Do I really want to know house? You know, I'm saying don't really want to start dating again? Do I really want kids? Do I really want to start a business? Should I go back to work? Get quiet? So if you know the answers of what to do for your life, you have been trying to tell you for a long time it tries to tell you and your body have you been tired? Are you chronically exhausted? Okay, go get take a nap. That's what you've been trying to tell you. But you own Google. Why don't I feel good? Saying like you're trying to get some motivation. Your body's like girl just got laid down. You're like me trying to figure out okay, how do I scale? What do I do? Girl your scale by showing up telling people you got a product and inviting them the bat. And that's it. Now, is it cool to learn about Rachel's roadmap to success? I absolutely do. I got to follow that to a tee and try to copy her strategies and try to hope to God that it works for me. No, because God tailor made my journey for me just like he did for you. And guess I can encourage you and motivate you and inspire you. But babay at the end of the day is between you and God. And we got to get back into the habit of trusting ourselves. Even if we messed up in the past, even if we fail, even if things didn't work out the way we thought they should. Because at the end of the day, all the good, the bad, the ugly is working out for your greatest good, you got to just keep going and you have to get aligned with yourself. We're so used to listening to other people and watching other people. The answer is within the answer was with God sit down, meditate journal, writing your planner, brain dump. I challenge you to wake up in the morning without any YouTube without any music, but just get in the shower. Listen to yourself when you get in the car draft that 30 minute drive, don't put on music sit down with your thoughts. And like I said earlier, sometimes it triggers other things right?

It triggers like I said with the the dating example right? I knew Jessie you gotta leave this man on drag you for the rest of your life if you let him right. And that was easy enough like Rational leap but what triggered was my abandonment issues or nobody likes me everybody you know, like I had to do the work and yes, it was uncomfortable because I had to face things and pray on it and all ofthat but maybe once that work is done here I am remote far removed from that situation healed and in the in the relationship that I wanted to be in one that is loving, and nurturing and fun and I ain't got to worry. Do you like me? And are you mad, this man that I'm wearing right now claimed me on day one. Look, I like you. Let's go. Okay, that's all he had to say babay you ain't got to say too much. But you get what I'm saying. Like, did it hurt? Was I confused? Was it ugly? Was I embarrassed because we have mutual friends? Absolutely. But who can't you know, like, you get over it? Yes, I messed up in my business before right. And like I said, I'm gonna keep saying I'm grateful for the guides that people have written books and coaches, because we need that. Right. But at the end of the day, I have to reconnect back back with my why, why did I start this journey? Who am I serving? Why am I serving? And what problem do I want to solve? And then just try to make my next best decision based on the information and I'll be sure to link I did an episode about reconnecting with your why, it'll be in today's show notes sundayjumpstart.com. And then from there, you can the, the scene will be revealed, as you can just get back quiet into that space, right? This tends to happen, this whole phenomenon, to women, to women a lot, because we have been socialized to kind of always ask is this, okay? Do you like this? What do you think about that? Are you okay? You know, it's a very communal thing like, call your sister Hey, girl, you know, I'm thinking about doing Thanksgiving dinner at my house? Well, you think about that, how do you feel pros cons that we've become so reliant on external validation and communal things, and it's a survival thing, I'm not knocking it right. But there are some things that like, only you and God know about, right, those late in the midnight hour conversation that you don't have with God, you know, it's those things that like, pop up in your head, when you're in the shower, it's the things that keep you up late at night, your mom and nem not gonna know, the ins and outs in the left turns and right turns you're supposed to take with that they'll support you and love you the best way they can. But only you know that. Only you and God, it's a relationship thing, right? Your work will start telling you what's next. Like you'll feel it.

You know, the reason why-alll jokes aside. The reason why I was absent last week is it's just me and my business. And I'm finding out that I can not walk and chew gum, I'm not a good multitasker when it comes to my business. And so I've really been a few things have been on my heart, get on video. That has been my dream for a minute just to show up, literally get on camera, and I guess I'll announce it now y'all I've not like pre announcing things, but I'm coming out with a daily show is called the Mini Jumpstart. It'll be every Monday through Friday. But it's gonna be on video, right? It's like, let's let's Kiki it a little bit. It's gonna be live over on YouTube, premiering in the middle of November. And so as I'm working on this show, and just figuring out the kinks, I was like, You know what, let me figure out my email marketing things. There are some mini courses and guides and audio things that I want to get done audio sessions, like, yeah, like audio coaching sessions, basically, that I want to get done. And it was like, first I had to get my welcome sequence back for my email, I have one up but I didn't like it. And I never changed it. There are a few funnels, I want to get just like mechanical things in my business. And so I was trying to record and do those very mechanical things. And my brain once I go left, I can't go right. Like once I'm in a very like, you know, research heavy, action oriented kind of state of mind, it's very hard for me to get back to my whoo self. I've always been like that. Like, if I'm in math class, baybay we doing math, I can't even think about our inner like, I don't know why I'm like that, but I am. And so that's why I was missing last week is because I've been I just feel it like let's let's show up on video. So be be Stay tuned for the Mini Jumpstart Monday through Friday in the mornings, that's gonna be so fun. And it'll be live for us. And it's just other things in my heart. And the only reason I'm coming up with this show coming out with this show, is for the past year and a half, it has been on my heart in my body to actually show up, right, I've been hiding, quote unquote, behind a podcast mic and a computer for years now. And it's just been on me show up, get on camera, show your face, do something live with your audience so we can build our relationship. There are other things that are going on in my mind that I want to launch and all of that stuff and I'm so excited about it. But I had to be quiet in order to hear it. And the books are telling me well you should have this freebie and host this webinar and do this workshop and then there's like, yeah, I could do all that and that works by other people. And it's going to work for me. But right now, my what I feel led to do is to put the show on camera, right and the Sunday Jumpstart is still gonna be a podcast format. It'll still be in apple podcast, but it'll come out the week after it was live on YouTube like I got a whole little strategy and that's what I was working on. And before I had a flood of people coming to the website or just checking me out I just really wanted to have my email stuff situated and ready to go to have some passive income come in and to you know, just have those funnels in place and that's why I was missing, right. And I I just can't be afraid to fail. I have to trust that I know what I'm doing. And I think a lot of times there's this pressure, or I should be further along. I've been doing this for six years, right? Because we see so many people coming up with these aha ideas overnight. Well, my mom has always taught me and I'm glad she did is that, you know, sometimes it takes 10 years to be an overnight success, and I don't want it to. But everything that got me to this moment has been a decision that I've made. And it's, it's been pretty good. It's been a pretty good ride. And when I look back over my life, I know that I can trust myself, you know, I'm saying in the words of the great Beyonce, she said, I know that I will never disappoint myself. That's how I feel like, let's do this. Let's go. I trust myself. I know what I need to do. I know the next steps. I know them, and yes, I'm afraid but I trust myself. I know them. And yes, you know, the pros say to do it this way. But I trust myself, and know what I want to do where I want to be how to skate. I know how to do that. And also know how to do research or ask for help. But I trust myself and I don't need for external voices to be my crutch. I know my why I know who I'm serving. I know the promises God made me I know that I'm anointed, I know that this is my ministry. And I trust myself to honor it. And I want you to start thinking in that same vein, right? You know what to do? You know what to do, baby, you know exactly what your next steps are. You might not know all 50 million steps, but you know, your next best step, trust you. You might have messed up, things might have not worked out not because of you per se. Just because that's life, right? Life is always teaching us some things and it's always rerouting us back to the right path. You got this. You are this is you baby trust yourself. Right?

Um, you know, I when I first started going to my therapist, she was just like, Girl, you got a worthiness issue. It was like, "Me? Girl, I'm confident! What you're talking about?" but I think this whole I don't trust myself does come bottled up in worthiness thing you know, like, do I deserve having the things I set out in life? Do I deserve having a love of my life that whatever, you know, they mean? Start working on that worthiness, your self esteem? Start doing your affirmations, right I listened to there's this girl Her name is Amanda Francis. She's a white girl, Blue Valley Girl, and my good friend and client, Kate Doster. She put me on to her. Amanda does a lot she calls herself the money queen. She does a lot of money affirmations and guided meditations on YouTube. And she she's just awesome. And it's funny, the vessels guy used to preach to you, right? I never thought somebody like that would light a fire under my butt every day, but she does. And all of her guided meditations is like tapping into your greatness, knowing that God will move heaven on earth, to make you happy that money is always supporting you. And things are getting easier and easier and better and better. And money expands. You know, as much as your desire desires expands, you know what I mean? And I've been listening to her to build up my faith and my worthiness. And that might be some of the work that you need to be doing too in order to start trusting yourself. So check out Amanda Francis, create your own affirmations. Right. I used to have reminder every day, throughout the day of just affirmations that I wanted to remind myself right. Also a good way to start building up self trust is to make a promise to yourself every day and keep it right. If you say going to the gym, go to the gym. If you say you go and try to eat a salad, eat a salad because then you're teaching yourself that girl, say what she gone do and it's gonna get done right. Today's affirmation, I know what to do. And I trust myself. Let that guide you this week. As you go to school, work and play as you live your life. Trust that you got this. And it's okay if you need guidance, go get it. Just don't rely on it and pray to God. God helped me to have the confidence to trust in myself. Help me to remember the times that I won we remember so many times that we fail helped me to remember that so I could see oh yeah, I gotta prove I know what I'm doing you know me and know what to do and I trust myself I leave you with that today.

Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. Now I mentioned a lot in today's episode and if you were out living your best life and didn't get a chance to jot any down do not worry I got your back just go to the Sunday jumpstart calm and click on episode number 132. And everything that I mentioned including the Instead Cards from innerworkout.co That is a card deck for scrolling less if you want to prioritize your self care and stop giving so much power over to your phone. Y'all really need to check out these cards. I do them in the morning and it really does help set a positive tone for the day. It'll be linked in the show notes as well and also follow me over on Instagram at the Sunday Jumpstart. I'll also be showing off the cards and how to use them in today on today's Insta Stories and some of the other products like I have a journal I have I have their product is called Spaces is a balancing essential oil blend. I got a pin I just want to show you how the whole enter workout suite so be sure to hang out with me over on Instagram at the Sunday jumpstart y'all. That is it for this week's episode. I will be back this Wednesday with a quick tip and y'all stay encouraged finish - start this week strong. You got this. You know what you got to do. And you know how to trust yourself. Alright you guys. I love you. I'm praying for you and I will see you soon. All right bye!