Bitesize Biohacks - How To Break Bad Habits and Create New Positive Habits That

3:54AM Jan 10, 2023

Speakers:

Angela Foster

Keywords:

replace

days

evening

big

habit formation

habit

wine

drink

providing

long

alcohol

husband

hrv

july

nice

glass

year

sleep

terms

relaxation

If you're looking to change a habit and you're gonna give something up, the first thing to think about is what are you going to replace it with? And how can that positively create the same experience for you? Hi, friends, Happy New Year, I want to talk to you into this week's bite size bio hacks about habit formation. Because January is a time of year when we think about introducing new habits, and also about giving up ones that were maybe not so much in favour of. So probably the most notable example would be giving up alcohol in January. And that's actually a good one to touch on, because it's something that I've been experimenting with, for those of you that have been listening to podcast for some time will know, for the last six months. So on the 25th of July last year, I decided to stop drinking. Initially, it was with a view of not drinking any alcohol for 90 days as a bit of an experiment. It was because I was working on improving my HRV and my sleep metrics. And I wanted to see whether cutting out although I wasn't a big drinker, whether cutting it out, and not having you know, a couple of nights a week where I'd have one or two glass of wine, whether that would make a big difference in terms of recovery. And so it started really as a personal experiment. But I think that regardless of what you're looking to change, hopefully the insights that I can share with you, that I've learned over this process will be helpful for you to apply. Whether that is because you've decided to give up alcohol for January, for example, or whether it's something else or a new habit that you're looking to introduce. So let me give you a little bit of a background. So on the 28th of July, as I say I decided to stop drinking, it was part of some experimentation I was doing with myself and tracking around HRV sleep and also meditation. And alcohol is something for me that I only really ever drink wine, don't really drink any other drinks be very occasional, but I would do so. But both my husband and I are big fans of have really good quality wine, we invest in it. We visited vineyards and things and really enjoy it. And it's something that we have a lovely conversation over a glass of wine. I've never been a big drinker, really, because I don't actually really enjoy the effects of it. So for me, I would be drinking because of the taste of that beautiful wine, as opposed to the effects. So that's kind of something that's different for everyone I know, in terms of drinking, but it was really the experience that I knew I would miss because it was a way that we would connect together whether that was over dinner, for example, or occasionally at home. And what did I learn from this. So when I first gave it up, obviously, when you give up something, it creates a bit of a vacuum on the occasions that you would do it. And I think the first thing that happened was, it made it a lot easier for me to work in those situations. And I think as someone who works from home, and many of us, right who weren't working at home before have been doing so over the last few years increasingly and and even with the going back to work, post COVID that people often still work one or two days from home. And I don't know if you've noticed this, but I think the easy thing is to fall into the trap where there's not really much distinction between home life and working life in terms of that boundary. And it's easy to go back to work after dinner, for example. And that was something that I initially started doing. So I would say you could look at this one of two ways you could think, well, this is actually a positive thing. Maybe I'm going to make faster inroads in my business, I actually think recovery is key to that process. And I'll go into that in a moment. I don't think working harder and longer isn't necessarily the way to achieve more. But that's probably we'll touch on that today. I think that's something for a future episode, but suddenly identified quite quickly that this was leading to more work. So what I did was I decided, well, actually this needs to be replaced with a new positive habit. And that was easy because it was summer. So I replaced it with evening walks. A funny side effect of that was that in the very kind of peak of the long evenings, it actually led to less sleep because by going out and exposing my eyes to light, more light than I was used to at that time of day it kind of sort of pushed my circadian rhythm a little bit. So what I had to do was then bring those evening walks earlier, just because the sun here in the UK, so high in the sky for so long. In that kind of late June, early July, time, as we moved into August, that was much easier because the sun was coming at a lower, slower lower angle. And so it was actually enhancing my sleep. But this was something really nice because it ticked a lot of boxes. So something I could enjoy with my husband. He didn't always come actually it was something that sometimes it was just me and my dogs and I've really enjoyed it and I caught lots of sunsets really beautiful have tonnes of photos from that time, and I really enjoyed it. And that actually brings me to the next. One of the most important points I think here is the experience is key. The experience is key. And the reason for that is when you have a habit Whether that is a daily or more of an occasional habit, for example, like with me, so something you do two or three times a week, for example, it's providing you with a benefit, even if you perceive this to be a bad habit, there is a benefit to you. So in my case, it was the opportunity to have a cut off work, to relax and have a conversation with my husband. And you know, you're much less likely on you to go and kind of check your email, something like that after you've had a glass of wine. So that is an experiential thing. And it was providing connection when I wasn't running around on those evenings doing sports clubs with my kids, it was providing connection with my husband. And so I got asked actually in my in my membership recently, you know, did you feel that you had to then replace the drink itself with something else like non alcohol experience? Do you know we experimented with that, I actually didn't really like them. I didn't find them. I think they're quite high sugar. So it wasn't something that I've found really something I've really got into. I have got into and I will mention this in a moment. In terms of sleep in fact, let's let's do that. Now. It from an from actual replacement drink perspective. The thing I found I really love me probably think we're boring here now is actually to pick snooze tea. This helps me really enhance my sleep. And I'm not the only one because it's got about 1200 or so four and a half five star reviews on Amazon. And it has apple in it with chamomile flowers and lavender tastes really nice. The tea bags of it picks up plastic free, so it takes a good box for me. And it tastes really nice. And also it does seem to enhance my sleep as a kind of side metric. Alongside a bit of ashwaganda and magnesium, I have really beautiful calm, relax, sleep. So snooze. Teapigs is something I'll link to that in the in the in the show notes that I've been having and enjoying. But I would say it wasn't really about replacing the drink. Remember, I was talking there about the experience, I think the experience is key. So if the thing that you're giving up is providing a benefit. So here for me, connection, relaxation, were the two things, what I needed to do was find something that was going to give me connection and relaxation, and walks with my husband and that we got to chat on the way I had connection with nature, doing them on my own or connected with myself, as I say I saw the sunsets. Very, very relaxing. So what I would say to you is if you're looking to change a habit and you're going to give something up, the first thing to think about is what are you going to replace it with? And how can that positively create the same experience for you. So that would be my tip on there. Now the other thing was when I looked at my aura data, in terms of the year in review, I haven't been using whoop as long. So there was less data for me to look at. But when I looked at aura, what I noticed was there was a big uptick in activity and less rest or downtime since last July. And I think that's because I'm very much a doing person. Obviously, the walks were providing maybe extra movement, I do what my dogs during the day anyway. But I think that I wasn't maybe resting as much. So I haven't seen the overall improvements in HRV that I would have liked. And so that is now a big criteria for me in the new year. And also, because I'm such a kind of busy person, I'm always, always got really high energy is to find ways of really relaxing in the evening. And that got harder as the nights drew in. Because I don't really want to replace it with something like television. And so actually one of my big things for this year is actually going once a week, if I can find it in between all the sports clubs and things is a yoga class in the evening. But I've started doing some kind of foam rolling, some stretching, different things having most news tea that helped to relax me in the evening and provide that. So again, you just want to replace it with something positive.

And what I'm tracking quite closely now is how can I improve those HRV metrics, and I will be sharing that on future episodes. The other thing to say is, when you're doing something, I personally find it easier to go all in and do 100%. So you might be doing something like dry January and then thinking I'm going to basically say that I will only ever drink when I'm out or I'm going to only drink once a week, for example. I think those things are actually harder to do personally, I find it's easier to do an all or nothing approach. And the reason for that is there's no decision fatigue. And I think the thing is something like alcohol is usually hopefully I would say that it's something that you do in the evening. And remember in the evening willpower is at its lowest so if you think about when you wake up in the morning, you have this full battery of willpower and then it kind of waxes and wanes across the day. So your ability to withstand that extra chocolate after dinner or that glass of wine is going to be much harder in the thing, and you will have been making tonnes and tonnes of decisions during the course of your day until you're more likely to have decision fatigue. So if you don't have to make a decision of is this a night that I might indulge in this or not? It's much easier to just know, well, no, I don't. And that actually comes into identity, right? Because you sort of identify them as a non a non drinker effectively. So I think Jack Canfield famously said, you know, 99% is a bitch 100% is a breeze. And I think that's true. That's certainly something I found. So I would say, if you're going to do something, go all in at least until you have replaced the behaviour with something else, at least until you've behaved replaced the behaviour. And that brings me on to another point, which is interesting research that was done around habit formation. And this idea that, you know, does it take 21 days does it take, I think, was University of Oxford did research, that it was 66 days, on average, or more? What did I find? Well, there's this bit at the back of your brain called the reticular activation system that remind you and prompts you to do things. I personally found that it took around 50 to 55 days, for me not to be reminded that on a weekend, it was a good idea with friends, or with my husband, for example, or her out to have a nice glass of wine. That was roughly how long it took for me, I think it's different for everyone. And I think that's always interesting to know, I think that probably depends on how entrenched the habit is, as well. But generally, the research seems say around 66 days, but after for me sort of 50 or so days, I stopped having any kind of real reminders, then we went through big events, obviously. So things like birthdays, Christmas and New Year, which I'll talk about in a moment. And occasions when classically you would associate it with, you know, celebrating with a glass of champagne, or something like that. And I think this is the last point I want to make here is whenever you do something, go all in, so you haven't got the decision fatigue, replace the habit with something positive. And remember, we want to look experiential, as opposed to a thing. So it's not about replacing, in this example, a drink with another drink. It's about finding how you can match that experience. So for me, as I say, That's connection and relaxation. But then the next thing is to still although you're going all in, you're starting small. So I certainly didn't start with a goal, which is what it's now turned into of giving up alcohol for an entire year. I started with a goal of I've done this multiple times, 30 days, have obviously done it multiple times, three times in pregnancy for for nine months or more. But I hadn't done it for, you know, sort of longer, necessarily, in my ordinary life. So it was like, I'll do this for 90 days. And then it grew from there. So after 90 days, my husband and I are alike. And it's quite nice that you join me on this journey. I'm probably leaving a bit out there actually, it is good to do something with someone, I think that gives you extra support. So that is something as well, you could think about, but we got to 90 days. And then it was kind of like, Do you know what you really want to break it actually 90 days, so close to 100? Let's get to 100. And then when we got to 100? It was like well, actually, do you know what we've done? 100 days, we're over that three month mark, why don't we do it for six months, I did think about having celebrating on my birthday back in October, we were at Disney with their kids, we were you know, very busy into the evenings. So it didn't seem fireworks and things like that it didn't seem appropriate. So it didn't. So we went past that sort of celebration. Whereas normally I would have had a glass of champagne. And then we got to Christmas. And that was interesting, because the 25th of December obviously haven't given up on the 25th of July would have been six months. So we had a junction what we were going to do, and we decided, You know what, actually, let's do it for a year. Why a year. Do you know is probably a really silly reason. I think I heard Richard Branson talk about the fact that his son Sam had done a year with no alcohol and that everyone would do it should do it. And it was a really good thing to do. So I was like, Well, sounds fun. Sounds interesting. I'll do that at some point. And I'd arrived at six months. So it was like, actually, why don't we just turn this into a year. So then went through obviously Christmas and New Year's, I would say it makes me 100% more present to every single experience. I'm enjoying it. Who knows what will happen from here, maybe we're going to open a bottle of something very, very nice. On the 25th of July, maybe not, I don't know what I would say to you is start small. I think if I'd started going I'm going to give up for an entire year, that might have felt like a big mountain to climb. Obviously, that varies from individual to individual. So start small I started with 90 days, you could start with 30 days, classically, January, this might be another habit. Okay, there's lots of things we introduce, I really would like you to be able to extrapolate some of the things and insights I've shared, hopefully, to help you with any kind of habit you're changing. Anything that you want to replace. So first thing I would say is start small, but go all in, make it 100% It's going to avoid the decision fatigue. If you can have someone do it with you definitely makes it easier. The next thing is look at the benefit that it was Providing even this is a, if this is a bad habit you're trying to replace, it was providing an experience of sorts. And so it's not the thing itself. It's the experience. So work out what that was giving you, as I say, for me, connection and relaxation. So I wanted to replace that experience. And then replace that habit, you know, with that new engaging activity, and then just really kind of build up from there. And those are really my top tips in terms of habit formation. The going all in helps with the 100% aspect and helps with something known as identity and becoming your future self. That's something we'll be talking about more on future episodes is something that we're doing all month, in fact, in terms of goal setting, and becoming the best version of yourself in the female bar hacker collective. So if you want to find out more about that, you can find a link there in the show notes as well. Thanks again for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, and you know someone that can help, please share it with a friend. And if you're not already a subscriber of the podcast, please subscribe to the platform you're on. As the more subscribers. The bigger the podcast gets, and the bigger the guests we can continue to bring you. Thanks for listening and I'll see you next week for another bite sized by hacks.