So step one, is getting some distance from that grasping, thinking, calculating mind. Realizing that that's not who we are. And Anthony de Mello, our constant companion, good friend has something to say about that. says watch everything inside of you and outside. And when there is something happening to you see it as if it were happening to someone else. With no comment, no judgment, no attitude, no interference, no attempts to change, only to understand. This is the approach to practice, only to understand only to see says as you do this, you'll begin to realize that increasingly, you are dis identifying from me from our idea of ourselves. St. Teresa of Avila says that toward the end of her life, God gave her an extraordinary grace. She doesn't use this modern expression of course, but what it really boils boils down to is dis identifying from herself. If some When else has cancer, and I don't know the person, I'm not that all that affected. If I had love and sensitivity, I'd help. But I'm not emotionally affected. If you have to take an examination, I'm not all that affected, I can be quite philosophical about it and say, Well, why don't you? The more you worry about it, the worse it will get. Why don't you just take a good break instead of studying? But when it's my turn to have an examination? Well, that's something else, isn't it? The reason is that I've identified with me, with my family, my country, my possessions, my body, me, how would it be, if God gave me grace, not to call these things mine, I'd be detached, I'd be dis dis identified. That's what it means to lose the self, to deny the self to die to the self.