Care of Magical Shippers Episode 23 - Happy Shipuary! A Collection of Lovey Dovey Fanfic! (Part 2)
3:21AM Feb 28, 2022
Hey there listener Fancy seeing you here. Look, sometimes due to the things we discuss on the pod, it might contain potentially triggering content. But the good news is you can always review the episode description for a full list of the warnings applicable to this episode. Oh, and just so you know, this episode is rated are really filthy. It includes adult themes and explicit content. So if you're an adult, buckle up, Gird your loins and prepare to flood the basement because we are going down with these Ship. Ship space. Don't care if I get my bearings? Well. This is my own CP. Hi, again, listeners. Welcome back to Care of Magical shippers podcast. It's a Harry Potter ship culture Podcast. I'm Nathan.
And I'm Meg's. And this week, we'll be continuing all of our Valentine's fanfiction reading. We have three more stories for you. And we have a lot of fun with these ones. So get ready for some serious giggles because I'm just I couldn't remember recording it and it's just it's gonna be so much fun. For you to look.
Yeah, I don't know what possessed us to think, oh, this will work for one episode, when really, it was just too much to squeeze into one that like a lot happened. A lot of joy exploded into the episode and just couldn't contain it in one. So you're gonna get two bursts.
And to be fair, I just like reached like, a mental emotional wall once I hit like an hour and a half that I'm like, Okay, I'm, I'm just done editing.
Very, very fair. Like, I love those two bits. But it's a lot
is it is like in a perfect world. We would love to give you with three hours. Stop fanfiction tactically are especially if you're someone who's just coming to this podcast, you can absolutely have three hours. Just us reading the last one? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. If you don't want that, obviously don't listen. Like
we would never advocate not listening. Like that's antithetical to the point of why we do this. Please listen, we've made the episodes like good. Like, they are good. It's just I'm just if you're anything like me, I love us. But three hours of uninterrupted content. Just yeah, it might just be too much good for my ears to handle.
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So anyway, thank you for coming back. We're so excited to share these other ones with you. And yeah, enjoy the awesome lovey dovey goodness.
You are not prepared. At least. I wasn't before we went. Yeah. You are in for a treat. I'm really excited that you're going to get to here. These are the three they really good. We had a ball. Yeah, enjoy.
Okay, so I'm actually going to read another one. Just because one, it's dreary so dibs. To um, it's tagged soft hockey boys, which is someone who lives really close to Canada that I just it speaks to me on a very like true like level and I love this and I'm so excited.
So is his soft taki separate from hockey? Is this like a different?
Pretty sure. It's like they're being soft like their hockey boys. Oh, like soft, fluffy. Okay.
I just wasn't sure. Hockey
boys. Yeah, I don't know about soft hockey. I mean, there's like, no check hockey, like, there's, there's checklist hockey, but so I guess it technically it's like, or you're just like casually skating. And it's just like, like a like a like a beach ball and you're just like, slightly like hitting it back to one another. It's like oh, soft hockey.
Like it's just everything's wrapped in bubble wrap and cushion so that the contact is gentle, because as it so I didn't want to be feeding into any stereotypes. But I feel like sometimes stereotypes are earned an eye as a gay man. My interest in sport is speculative. I don't I don't want to speak for all gay men here. There's plenty of gay men into sport. Whatever. I just I'm one of those that just has, well, I don't want to say no interest. I have an interest. I just know next to nothing. So when you said when you said soft hockey, I was like, Is this is this a sport that I just don't know? I don't know anything. So, so thank you for taking the time to clarify. Yeah, it's just boys in love in bubble wrap.
Oh, that happened to be hockey. play hockey. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So this is an AU college university. So that's, you know, hockey into uni and stuff. And then they're soft and cute.
What is it what is it rated
it is Rated T for Teen and up and then so the name of the fic is special recipe. It's around like hot chocolate. I think it's like the either like was a prompt or inspiration. So special recipe by peach Petit and the summer summary is Draco discovers the perfect hot chocolate recipe comes with a side of cute boyfriend
love this conceit already Okay, yeah, yeah, okay, I'm prepared here we go like ease me in
this is gonna be so weird to read like once again obviously I didn't read these ahead of time and so I know that this going in that I'm like okay, this is college probably non magic a you like this is this is just going to be really different because I don't read a you so just seeing these guys in the context of something non magic is just I'm just I'm skimming right now and I'm like this is going to be really hilarious to read but also take me back to like college days. So yeah, cuz like hockey is really big. You know where I went to school and stuff like that. So to me, this is gonna be kind of like the stall chick I guess. So this will be intrigued Draco grimaces into his solo cup, the lukewarm keg beer sour on his tongue. The Open Season bash hosted by the unis hockey team was infamous. A bucket list event to be sure, but Draco should never have come. He should have stayed home tucked into his flannel sheets with his latest BL comic. Yes, yes strike and warm cocoa with marshmallows and whipped cream. It has an exclamation point. So whipped cream is very necessary. It has to have marshmallows and whipped cream. He wrinkles his nose at the beer. Pansies cackle draws his attention to where she sits in an awful recliner, securing half the hockey team with her cleavage spilling out of her sexy witch costume. Oh, it's Halloween. Draco pouts and glances down at his own costume. Lack of clean, lack of cleavage aside, he thought he looked quite fit. His white garment was perfectly flowy and slit up to the side. Okay. His white garment was
just here the toga
baby. Oh, okay. I don't know. Okay. Okay. Hold on. His white garment was perfectly flowy and slit up the side of the side practically to his eyeballs. Oh, so he's a ghost. But like the roller skates. The roller skates were a nuisance and the leg warmers were making him sweat. But both were absolutely necessary for the character. He looks perfect yet no hockey players lurk. I don't know who this is. A perfect a white garment was perfectly flowy and slit up the side practically. The roller skates were a nuisance with the leg was it just
I'm just picturing a giant marshmallow
like It's like Bethenny, you're getting Draco sideboob is that's what happened. Like of like, or where's the slit? Like a slit? Like is it Oh? Is it open? Like Like, like Fabio style? You know what I mean? Like, it's like a flowy white tunic with it's really a deep V sort of thing.
eyeballs references very confusing. Peach Petey, I need I need a visual I need this get out for me to understand what I am. I don't know what I'm imagining right now. Nathan marshmallow Yeah, that's probably not that. Sorry, peach. Like it's just like a marshmallow with like with the size of marshmallow and just like falling along. I've got Fabio with leg warmers and rollerskates. So here we go. But he said, but it says lack of cleavage this. I don't know. We have no idea what's
Side cleavage. There we go. So, let's see here. So the roller skates were a nuisance and the leg warmers were making him sweat. But both were absolutely necessary for the character. He looks perfect. Yet no hockey players lurk. He gulps down the remains of his beer and glides down the hallway towards the kitchen. Oh, so he's like he's skating. He's skating throughout this place. Oh my gosh, what a danger. Weaving past the vampire, a Yeti and Mario and Luigi. In the kitchen Weasley, the decorated team captain and left winger dressed in an unoriginal toga. Well, hey, there we go. He's wrong.
and he's manning the keg. Of course he is. He's filling his mouth with beer directly from the tap. When his gaze falls to Draco. His eyes widen and he spits to appear all over the clown waiting for refill. The clown curses and Weasley apologizes hastily turning to Draco Oh my God. He looks up. Looks it he looks Draco up and down a grin curling his lips. Fuck just stay there. Okay, don't go anywhere. I hope we get answers. This is all I'm asking. Draco folds his arms across his chest and waits. The clown stare spear dripping from his red nose. A moment later Weasley returns dragging a dark haired tasseled bloke into the kitchen. He's also wearing a toga. But the costume is where Dracos disappointment and Harry Potter, a hockey star and a talented centre forward quite literally ticks all of Draco's boxes, athletic with just the right amount of muscle, green eyes and a bright smile punctuated with cute dimples. He's the living embodiment of the team poster Draco had on his wall that he may or may not have stolen from the student center display in a toga that barely covers his arse with his nipple outs.
Okay, we've got some depledge. Team, right?
We got a little bit of like a little bit of butt covered so it's more like a little flap. So it's obviously kind of like it's had to have been maybe they ripped the sheet in half, and they just kind of like folded it over each other. And so there's a gap on each side. So then it's just like, cascading over but nice. Right?
So then it's more like one of those like fashionable 60s One pieces, you know, the black and white numbers.
Uh huh. Oh, okay. We're getting answers. Okay, okay. Okay, this makes Oh my sense now. Okay. Sorry, peach Petey. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
I haven't seen hold for the text mags. Hold for the text. I haven't read
yet. Harry. You can almost see Harry's but his nipples out and Draco is oh yes.
But he knows how to hold my attention. Continue.
Look, Ron says pointing to Draco fucking look at him. I'm looking Harry says voice low in Zanna do, he tones dramatically. Did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure DOM what DOM to comb,
exonerated coupla Khan a stately pleasure dome decree. Coleridge. What did she put Coleridge in this I guess? Look. That is straight. That is poetry that is Coleridge author if you've done this, I right. Yes, I
am uncultured. i It was like oh Zanna do okay. And Zanna do he intones dramatically did coupla Khan a stately pleasure dome decree three co continues. Where oh, he keeps going. Okay. Where else the sacred river ran through the through caverns. measureless to men down to a Sunless Sea they finished in unison. Hi, Harry smiles dimples popping and Draco goes a bit wobbly in his knees. I think it's the roller skates sir. What the fuck just happened? The clown asks Weasley wipes away and imaginary tear that mate was destiny. I think we just with witnessed an origin story. He hooks his arm around the clown's neck and drags him from the kitchen slap Harry on the back as they exit. Hi, Harry says again. I like your costume. I have to admit I'm surprised you know it. Harry bites his lip and nods you're a slither in Yeah. A debate God if I'm not mistaken. Draco blinks. Hermione mentioned Harry explains. She Draco says clearing the squeak from his. She. She Jayco says clearing up the squeak from his throat. She mentioned me to you Harish
nice editorial touch. I'm very pleased with the squeak it just adds that little she Yeah, I'm very yeah
Harry shrugs a bear perfectly muscled shoulder well I asked she helped me with my costume. What do you think? It's an original Draco blurts out still processing the fact that Harry fucking Potter asked about him. Harry laughs Oh shit. Wait, I wrong. Bring me bring me my head Ron, bring me my head your
ladies and gentlemen, Max has gone. Max has left the building. I will be attempting to salvage what I can of this episode. Thanks incapacitated by laughter
Oh, god. Okay, you're not ready. You're getting ahead. Ron yells from the other room. Good on you mate. Just clean up. Yeah. Oh, God. Fuck Harry says cringing. A deep flush blooms on his cheeks bleeds down his neck. Even his chest is blushing. It's fucking adorable. I have a Medusa head he says a fake one with rubber snakes and shit. Perseus you know. The slayer of monsters and Andromeda is hero. Of course. You know, Harry chuckles And scrubs the back of his head. So would you like a beer? Vodka or maybe tequila. Draco shakes his head and wrinkles, his nose, Harry Holmes and taps his chin and thought maybe hot chocolate. I've got some up in my room. The good stuff. I can't leave it down here or the heathens will drink it all. Red flags pop off and Draco's mind cautionary tales warning against being lured into a boy's room under false pretenses and accepting potentially tainted drinks. Harry smiles at Draco expectedly the dimples damn near sparkling Okay, Draco says
I gave you this specifically because I wanted to hear your voice and I'm not disappoint.
So, Drake was pretty much like Okay, so if I am going to be taken advantage of, you know, not on you know, not of my own will at least it's Harry Potter.
He's like, I'm slightly worried that I'm going to be that some noncom stuffs gonna be happening but you know what his his bad exposed muscular shoulder that's blushing is giving me life. So I'm happy about it.
Harry sets the kettle to heat and Draco inspects his room. movie posters, hockey posters, and various flyers from film festivals cover the wall. On the shelf next to the team photo sets a magic eight ball and an army of hockey trophies. A dog eared copy of The Once and Future King and several volumes of check please rests on the nightstand under a Nintendo Switch. And above the bed hangs a gigantic movie poster with Olivia Newton John dressed in roller skates like body suit arms have lifted underneath the word Zana do
oh my god this this hurry today is epic were led to believe that in addition to being a really you know, successful hockey star with an obsession with Xanadu he's also reading Coleridge and th white. The Once and Future King. This character is so like weird but
let me show you my special recipe for hot cocoa Harry says beckoning Draco to the desk. It's the best you'll ever have. Like you'll taste it and be I know I know. I know.
Let me show you my special
no you'll ever have ruined for Any other Drako watches Harry tear open two packets of Swiss Miss and dump it into the mugs. Dusting the tabletop with a thin film of cocoa powder. I mean how do you not you know what I mean? Like it's like you can try super hard but there's no way to not get hot cocoa dust everywhere like it's
yeah, it's just messy. Yeah he pours
the hot water and stirs it with a mechanical pencil
Toki just love the taste of graphite and that's really a different fic we are now straying into like, into a
what are the things is he doing with that bodysuits?
A handful of marshmallows fall follow splashing liquid to drip down the cups rim. This is this is quite visual. Harry licks his fingers then takes a can of whipped cream from the mini fridge expressing a generous dollop on top of the marshmallows. He hands Draco the mug with Princess layo, lounging and saying, aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper? Wait, he takes a Hershey Kiss from the pile of Halloween candy on his desk unwraps it and places it on top of the whipped cream. He beams with pride. It's the biggest mess Dracos ever seen and it's perfect. His heart expands something new and terrifying blossoms in his chest. an aching buzz that flows to his fingertips and toes expansive and brilliant and breathtaking. Like the birth of a star the beginning of something magical gorgeous wow
oh my god. I can I just request a small pause here like as a British heathen who does not know what a Hershey's Kisses Please can you explain like I know I know of Hershey bars but what it what is a Hershey's Kiss so
a Hershey's Kiss is like it's literally around almost ball of but it's so it looks like a bell it looks like a bell but it comes to a sharp point. So it's like it's literally a suitable thing. It does look like a bell and at Christmas time the commercials like do like like we wish you a Merry Christmas and pretend that they're bells so they kind of look like oh okay yeah, but that's so that's what they are. They're just they look like little I don't know just like I guess similar was it like on like a large chocolate chip like when sometimes chocolate chips have that little like swirl or like where it's been dolloped I guess you could say it's like a dollop of chocolate but bigger so
so like so it's chocolate all the way through is just chocolate
pure chocolate shapes different it's still a Hershey's chocolate bar made into a shape that's like and they're wrapped individually in like tin foil of different colors usually and stuff and then it has like a little it says like like Hershey's kiss on it with a little flag so it's like I don't even know why or how this I think it's it's designed so that you can open the foil easy but it's literally like a foil little bell with a with a piece of paper that says Hershey's Kiss off but you have to look it up after we're done. Then we can we can dive into what the heck are Hershey's Kisses? Yeah,
sorry. I just for those listeners that wanted a visual aren't familiar with what they are. I just thought it would be appropriate but yes, then I did. I didn't intend on spending like 10 minutes going and explain
it for those of you that know what a Hershey's Kiss looked like can definitely tell that I have no idea how to describe it. It was a very poor description. Yeah. Like a Marang cookie, you know, like when it's like it's like a dollop. It's like yes, yes. Yes. It's heavy at the base and then just dollops upward. So that's kind of what it perfect.
There we go. No. Okay, okay. We're nice. Okay, so
we had stones being born
and beginning of something magical. Yeah, Harry deflates a bit you know, it's Miss
timing I legitimately as I was listening to that, I thought that was in character. Like nope no Harry deflates a bit. Yeah, I know what Swiss Miss but I added extra Marsh Draco leans in and kisses him. mellows Harry finishes. He grabs Draco's waist and presses their foreheads together. Hands migrating to Dracos bum and squeezing gently. Okay, how is he holding this Hodge? I'm late and how was it not everywhere. I totally checked out your arse coming up the stairs. Draco kissed him again looking into Harry's mouth and tasting cocoa. I have a poster of you in my room oh my god like I do to Harry smiles against Draco's lips. So do you like my hot chocolate? I'm ruined for any other Drake over flies and kisses him.
Oh my goodness. That was superb. I love that story.
And because the poster is featured like his his is embedded in the footnotes. So seeing it now I'm like, oh, slits up the side. But it was just it was the eyeballs thing. So it was like I just was I could not visualize I just had no idea but as soon as it was said Zanna do, I'm like, Oh, my I wanted to smack myself. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, of course. It sits off. So yes, yeah, that was so good. That was at work.
Someone that's not familiar with either, like frat culture, hockey culture or Hershey's Kisses. I got an awful lot out of that story.
Yeah, see, I I am definitely a spectator in this. I'm like, Okay, I have been in this house. I have seen these people I have like, I just this is this. I have definitely lived in the past. And it's so it's just so funny. Like, I literally am picturing the house like I, the whole time I was reading. Like, I'm like, Okay, I'm in this space again. And I could see the hockey players. And then I'm like, oh, and then Harry and Ron and Draco happened to be there. So super funny. But oh, this was oh, this was so nice. I mean, and I love the little bits of humor, especially Draco being like I've heard all about, you know, when when boys will take you to their room while they're under false pretenses and vantage of you and blah, blah, blah. And it just, oh my gosh, it's so
so my mother has told me many cautionary tale by the fire.
It's so good. Thank you so much, Betty. Thank you for that.
Incredible soft hockey
boys. There we go. We got our soft hockey. So
So now we know what soft hockey boys are. We're now going to move on to a story that I don't think contains any soft hockey boys whatsoever. It's an entirely different pairing. It is also a t 14. And it is written by Sophie. It's called. And if you asked me, I loved him. I'd lie. And the pairing you ready for this? Is Hermione Granger slash Marcus Flynn. Wow. Oh, believe me. Okay. I didn't know I needed this until I started reading it either. Way. I cannot wait to hear what's about to happen. All right. Summary is the summary of the story is after a kiss at the Ministry holiday party. Hermione doesn't know how to feel about one Marcus Flint. Maybe all she needs is a push in the right direction.dot.so It begins. You can't just keep pretending it didn't happen. Granger. Hermione pretended not to hear Marcus's quiet rebuke. Instead, she stared down to the sheet of parchment on her desk without comprehending its contents. The truth was she didn't know what else to do. Hermione Granger did not kiss coworkers at ministry holiday parties. And yet somehow she had Marcus lean towards her smelling Oh, so I should preface this by saying this next section is in italics. So we think it's supposed to indicate the memory of the ministry party perfect.
So this was the aftermath and then now we're going back to actually orienting the event
correct. So I'm gonna I'm gonna go to fit like italics. And when then then when we're out of metallics again, I'll do another
Yes. What we don't have an expensive effects budget we make up for in musical engineering on this pod, so, Marcus leaned towards her smelling of expensive cologne and top shelf booze. Hermione always marveled at how the ministry could afford the best booze galleons could buy for their parties, yet could not find the budget for the initiatives she wanted to pass. And he plans for holidays, Granger Mark has asked, smiling crookedly at her was that a slight swooping sensation she felt in a lot of S's in that sentence.
slight, slight sensation she felt in her stomach. I ended
I know, we started slight sweeping sensation she felt in her stomach. She must have had a funny reaction to the hors d'oeuvres. No, she said carefully. I might drop by Ron's for spell but otherwise, she trailed off not wanting to reveal more about her personal life than was strictly necessary. Especially not something as personal as her breakup with Ron. Not really. What about you? Nothing much. He said with a shrug. I haven't got anyone special to spend it with, and my family never does anything. Oh, he quickly down the rest of his drink, wincing slightly. He nodded towards the glass of champagne in her mind in his hand. Mind if I drink that, and mainly wordlessly, held it out to him to lonely holidays, he said before taking a long swig. Hermione watched him discreetly as he swallowed. The war had changed Marcus, he was no longer the self centered, arrogant boy from the Hogwarts days. Perhaps it was the memory of his latest kindness, staying late to help her draft a piece of house self legislation that prompted her to slip into the chair next to him. I never think to you, she began suddenly conscious that she was sitting much closer to him than she had intended. She cleared her throat and tried to angle herself away. Before she could do so. However, she felt a large warm hand circle her wrist never thanked me for what Mark has asked, seemingly unaware that every nerve in her arm was now on fire. For her mind, he struggled to remember what she'd been about to say. Marcus had such expressive eyes. How would you never noticed? You're right, Hermione is brown eyes were full of concern now, but she had hardly noticed too busy dwelling on the startling use of her first name. She was always Granger to him. Always. It's Granger was all that she's had in reply. Granger Then he said to giving her an odd look what's going on with you. Eye, she took a deep breath and felt relief rush through her as she remembered her earlier train of thought she clung to it like a lifeline determined not to let her companions eyes distract her again. I wanted to thank you for helping me with my house health legislation the other day. Oh, Marcus looked almost disappointed. Right? It was nothing. It wasn't nothing. Hermione pressed. It meant a lot to me. You have to know that. Yeah, wholesale was a kind of your thing aren't they? are companions fingers fiddled with a glass of fire whiskey 100 that appeared as he spoke, his gaze had moved to contemplate his drink. Am I any noted with a twinge? I guess you could say that. She said forcing out a laugh. She was rewarded with another glance from Marcus and quickly added they're not My only interest though. Oh, and what else interests the great Hermione Granger? He teased you She admitted softly leaning into kissin before she could stop herself
oh my gosh wow
this her marketing is full today
thinking and forward acting it would seem she is getting frisky
became overwhelmed by how much she just like obviously saw him as this you know like hero coming to help her with something that literally probably is super emotionally pivotal to her being and is just like connects that with him and therefore builds this connection and obviously makes her want to kiss him I mean obviously so that Yeah. Oh, that was Oh,
I love I relate to that love
the corny stuff like it's just like oh and what else could possibly interest you? You obviously
Oh, just the casual way that slipped did I mean I definitely I love that I love that Hermione is this daring in this Fekkai? I am definitely vibing with that energy. Let me see where was I? Granger. Marcus pulled the piece of parchment out of her line of sight. This is so they've so I'm going to do it really mean they've snapped back out of the memory. So she's like being brought back into the present with this. So Granger Marcus pulled a piece of parchment out of her line of sight. Hey, she protested feebly. I was reading that block while you were marker snorted. He took the parchment under some of the papers on Khomeini's desk, then retreated back to the doorway. You're a much quicker reader than that. And my only side. You know me well. Flint It didn't feel right to call him Marcus out loud. Even after the kiss they are chaired. That was a lapse in judgment brought on by holiday loneliness. Nothing more. Yeah, I do know you, which is why I can't figure out why you're acting so strange. Mark has folded his arms and leaned against the doorframe with a sort of familiarity that made her flush. Do you regret what happened between us at the Ministry party? I don't see how that's relevant. I don't date coworkers are mainly said quickly. It didn't seem so concerned about that the party, the corner of Mark has his mouth lifted and smoke. Was it her imagination? Or was he staring at her lips? She had to resist the urge to lick them nervously. Anyway, you didn't answer my question. Do you regret kissing me? I regret that you chose to have this conversation during work hours. Hermione said, reaching for the quill on her desk. It was an evasive but safe reply. And one that she'd been trying to refine ever since Marcus set foot in her office that morning. Out of the corner of her eyes she watched as Marcus glowered here. This conversation isn't over Granger. Hermione avoided Marcus as best she could over the next few weeks. Sure, there were times when it was necessary to pass him in the corridor, or stand close to him in the lifts. But she always kept her head buried in some leaflet or river, or made sure she was deep in conversation with someone. He never tried to engage her. And she was mostly grateful for that. She hadn't been lying when she told him that she didn't date coworkers. She didn't need to deal with the messiness of a breakup at work, but she hadn't been entirely truthful with them either. She didn't regret kissing him. She didn't regret kissing him one bit. What's got yourself down Hermione, Jenny asked, looking at her in concern. The two witches were seated in the kitchen of her Miami's tiny London flat. Nothing, Hermione said but her reply sounded wistful, even to her owning up. Nothing. And my reply sounded wistful. Even Tara is in order to distract her friend from asking more questions that she didn't want to answer. she summoned the bottle of wine that Jenny had given her for Christmas, along with a pair of wine glasses. The bottle had an unusual lilac colored label proclaiming it the best elven wine known to wizard kind. Wine. Jenny's eyes narrowed, why aren't you saving that for tomorrow? Uh, mainly blinked several times as the realization hit here. Today was February the 13th. The day before Valentine's Day. Why should I wait until tomorrow? There's nothing special about Valentine's Day. It's just another day. Okay? She sounded defensive. She knew but she didn't want valentine's day to be a big deal when she had no one to spend it with. Sure, Jenny said her tones adjusting in fact that she did not agree. You know, you've been acting weird ever since that ministry holiday party when you kiss Marcus Flynt. Are you sure you don't want something to happen with him? Hermione was really regretting ever mentioning that kiss. I told you the kiss didn't mean anything. She said. She took a deep breath and fixed her friend with a steady glare. It was a moment of weakness and it won't be happening again. The practice lie came easily, maybe a little too easily. Sure. So Ginny, again, flashing her unknowing smile. Before Hermione could protest again. Jenny waved her wand and made the bottle and glasses disappear. After a restless night, Hermione awoke the next day with dread coiled in the pit of her stomach. Hopefully she could make it through the day without anyone asking her about her love life. Not only was that a completely inappropriate topic for the workplace, she also didn't want to dwell on a certain brown eyed form of slithering and her complicated feelings about him. Do you? Did you something you wanted to know? No, you're just happy? Yeah. Makes it just very happy right
now. Yeah, I'm just like, I'm just it's the anticipation. Like, I'm just like, it's moving. And of course, like, I don't know. I think Jenny's gonna do something. Like I just like, I just get the feeling that I'm going to intervene because Hermione can't get her shit together.
Yes. And she and she's obsessing about it not being appropriate in the work. Yes. And given that she works to the ministry and how many couples we know how I would like met at Hogwarts or met the ministry. Where else are they gonna meet to kiss or do anything?
Yeah, cuz you literally only go to Hogwarts and then you work at the ministry. Like that's your Yeah, of course you're meeting your significant other at work. Yeah,
you only have one school and one job. That's it.
Anyway, go either you.
You either hide the sex you're having from others at work, or you don't have sex at all. That's the vibe God mags. That's why they clutter silver sheets through.
Click clean cleaning.
Just rhythmic, clunky to do
with the voice.
Level three, accidental magic reversal squad and Boehner department.
Oh, wow. Okay. Anyway, where the heck were?
Yeah, I don't. I don't know. Okay. Yes, I found my place. Upon arriving at work. She was pleased to find a note from Kingsley on her desk. There, Hermione. Please meet me in the conference room on the third floor. Urgent, Kingsley. MIT read. She frowned. Kingsley was a man of few words, but this was terse and cryptic even for him. Still, curiosity and a sense of loyalty compelled her to shed her coat and head to the room that Kingsley had mentioned. Kingsley, what's the big Emmett? Hermione stopped short. Kingsley wasn't waiting for her. The large room was empty, say for Marcus Flint. And on the table that occupied the middle of the room. There was a bottle of wine with a lilac label, plus the pair of wine glasses from Khomeini's kitchen. Ginny Weasley was so nice prediction nice. Yes. Let me get this straight. Granger, Marcus said running a hand through his hair. You didn't send me a note asking me to meet you here. No, Hermione bit her lip. That was Ginny Ginny Weasley. Marcus did a poor job of hiding his surprise. Why in Merlin's name would she do that? Hermione had been wondering the same thing. When her gaze fell on the small piece of paper taped to the back of the wine bottle. She hoped she would have a suitable answer. plucking the paper from the bottle. She gave it a cursory scan before crumpling it into a ball. So much for telling Marcus about Jenny's motives. It read. Hermione, if I know you, you're very cross with me right now. But you'll thank me later. Sometimes all we need is a push in the right direction. So this is me giving you a hearty shove. Love Jenny. What did it say? Mark has asked. She just wants us to enjoy the wine. Hermione said, feeling her cheeks he heat up. I hear it's delectable. If you'd like a glass. That doesn't explain why she'd set us up to meet here alone on Valentine's Day. Hermione was struck by Marcus's intense gaze once again. And she shifted uncomfortably where she stood. Is there something you're not telling me Hermione. He had used her first name again, but she chose to ignore that this time. Instead, she sat down at the conference table and buried her head in her hands. No. Fine. Hermione head rather than saw him drop into a chair beside her. I'm going to say something then. I'm glad Weasley did this. I've been trying to get you a loan for ages. But you've always got your nose in some bloody pamphlet. And when you don't, you're busy talking to someone. By the time it was finished speaking, Marcus's voice was raised, and my knee pulled her head up and looked at him. Mark aside, lowering his voice. We never finished talking about that case. It didn't mean anything. She said automatically. I was lonely. You were lonely. It meant something to me. Hermione gaped at him. Don't look so surprised. Hermione. I've fancied you for a while now. Oh, that was all Hermione could manage in response. Oh. And something tells me you must fancy me too, or else Weasley wouldn't have gone to all this trouble. Marcus leaned in and talk to strand of hair behind her ear, causing her mind his breath to catch in her throat. Am I wrong? Am I and he shook her head. No, she whispered, pressing her cheek to his lingering hand. You're not wrong. I wrestled with my feelings for a long time. But I I'd like you to Marcus. Marcus dipped his head down and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. One that left her longing for more until she remembered they were both at work. Oh, Hermione with a work still. How about a toast? She asked. I should get back to my office in case Kingsley really does need me. But I have time for a quick glass of wine. Marcus poured a generous amount of wine into each glass before handing one to her to new beginnings. To New Beginnings her mainly echoed clinking her glass against his and Happy Valentine's Day to us.
Oh Oh, that was oh gosh, that was so cute. Oh, this was so in character for Hermione. Of course she's like, she's going to be stubborn forever. Like she's just this is my moral platform and I'm going to stick to it no matter the all of the other reasons why I should allow myself to have something good and love this man like, oh, exactly. Oh, I just this is it just takes it definitely takes someone intervening when her mind is being ridiculous. Like that's just because she's she doesn't see it. She's like, I'm not being ridiculous. I made this reason because a B, C, D like, you know what I mean? Like, she's Yes, she's gonna justify every choice that she makes. I, I exactly.
So I now have Madonna's justify my love going through. Also, this is this is a Hermione, who has decided that that lesson that she learned where she's like, it's kind of fun, isn't it? breaking the rules? Yeah, this is definitely not one of those rules. She wants to break gates, but oh boy, is she gonna have fun if you were ending this fic you would have ended it with. And oh, boy. Did she have fun.
Oh, man. Okay, so we have one more left and yes, we are. We were whoo over two hours. All righty. Here we go.
Oh, okay. On we go.
Okay, so this is another fic like we did for the Christmas episode. This is a bonus chapter for the story. Dumbledore's Army in the summer of 98 this is called Valentine's of 93 A Grendel Lonnie one shots.
Oh, yes. I specifically came up with this we were talking about like this pairing in the discord. And I think I don't know if I came up with this name or somebody else did. But I love this pairing name. It will stay with me until like the annals of time have faded into a distant memory. I love it. So I'm so excited. What's gonna happen I don't know.
So and it's rated G and let's see here did it so it's really so what was written by and so it's written by she goes by the author like his her sued like via the website but it's our fan of the pod on our Discord Karen Angelique, and let's see, look at it. Valentine's of 93 Grendel Lonnie one shot. I'm so hogs made Scotland Valentine's Day 1993 3pm
Gilda really specific
Have you ever seen the exe file? So I've like talked about this with you before? Because literally, that's how they introduce all the different locations they visit. There's like this text that appears in the bottom after the screen. It's like, type written and it's always like this location at this time with a specific like, and this is what is a reminder, I'm so excited.
Okay, Gilderoy Lockhart wrapped his orange woolen furred trimmed winter robes closer around him as a gust of wind showered him with swirling snowflakes. He stopped to adjust his fluffy purple net scar and realize that he was standing across the lane from Madame Pedy foots tea shop. He watched wistfully as nervously smiling Hogwarts students entered the already bursting shop from which rich sweet aromas and gosh were worth words, I don't know. Sweet aromas and convivial club chatter escaped with this escaped each time the door was opened, the large front window glowed with warm light, and dozens of couples huddled over small tables were visible through the glass. This was a sorry valentine's day indeed, the Hogwarts staff didn't appreciate his holiday decor in the least. And neither it seemed did most of the students. He received 46 Only 46 Valentine's cards from the Hogwarts community. Oh, he'd made a big show of being appreciative. But truly, it was a pathetic number. He's opposed, he wouldn't be so disappointed if he had a really special someone with whom to share this most special day of holidays. But he seemed to be lacking in that department to Yes, he'd shared an early morning rendezvous with a charming ministry lady who'd flew in for the occasion. And this evening he was meeting an absolutely delicious gentleman for a candlelit dinner in Diagon Alley, but neither of these encounters truly excited. at him. He didn't feel the same way about the ministry Lady and the delicious gentlemen, that the Hogwarts couples pressed together and exchanging longing glances as they left the tea shop felt about each other. He was about to head for Honeydukes to console himself with second rate chocolate when I felt when a fellow stroller caught his eye. She was walking slowly up the street toward the tea shop. She didn't seem to be wearing a robe. Oh, my rather an eclectic assortment of scarves, shawls and wraps many of which were pink and red and trailed shiny. Oh, gosh, what is so many words? They don't know. pale, pale. What's paella?
I don't know. I don't know either.
And glittery. Okay, I gotta figure out what these are. I like I immediately think tat like tassels, but I've no idea what these are. Okay, let's see. Oh, sequence.
Okay. Okay. I guess I've never heard them called up before in my life.
Ah, yeah, I, what's the difference between sequence and they're very large sequence are.
So they're like a big sequence? Yes.
So I think they're like when they're like, yeah, they're the big circular ones that maybe sometimes they do like dangle and stuff. So it's like, yeah, they're just they're big sequence. So all right, we figured that out. All right, once again, it's like the fancy crepes thing. I was just like when, like galet were just like wet so and trailed shiny big sequins and glitter. Her boots were red suede. And this was useless against snow and her hair was covered by a red sequined scarf so then that's covered in sequence. Wow, she is she's going she is shining. She's got to be seen from
seed from space right now. Sequence scarf that could not possibly keep out the cold. When she paused to peer into the cheery window of the tea shop Gilderoy noticed her large pink rimmed glasses could it be he called across the street civil civil Trelawney felt that her magic needed recharging her inner eye wasn't working as well as it should. Her intuition, however, was working well enough to know that her students weren't concentrating on anything else but Valentine's Day, especially with those wretched hired Cupids of lock hearts bursting into class every few minutes, so she'd canceled the rest of her classes and resolved to use the time to visit some of the shops and hogs made for new oils and herbs and candles and music. All for her inner I of course, didn't like crowds and gatherings, but she found the occasional outing rejuvenating and had decided to increase the magical efficiency of her trip by dancing to sell by dressing to celebrate the holiday. She chosen as many pink and red items as she owned charmed her glasses to match and cast a warming spell about her. Because it was easier than creating more weather appropriate clothing. Sybil was fairly adept at charms, but had never mastered the art of dressmaking. Sybil was enjoying her outing her conversations with shopkeepers and her purchases until she approached Madame Pedy foots. The smell of the cakes and biscuits drew her to the window, where the sight of happy couples within within filled her with a vague sense of longing. She didn't actually no anyone with whom she'd like to whisper to she with whom she'd like to whisper over a table. But the same made her wish she had someone anyone civil. She felt an unpleasant thrill of guilt and embarrassment at the sound of her name. She turned around and saw Gilderoy Lockhart striding across the street. Well, not just anyone. She pulled her outermost shell more tightly around her as Lockhart loomed over her. Sybil. I thought that was you he boomed con convivial. Lee. Come, come to meet come to meet a special someone for Valentine's tea. Oh, oh no. Just looking in on the students getting a feel for their futures. she mumbled, trying to cover the Emperor embarrassment and the end and end the conversation. Well, I mustn't let them catch me spying. Well then said Lockhart, his face beaming. If you don't have a special someone, why not join me? Sybil felt wrong footed. It's not that I don't have someone she sputtered. But Lockhart wasn't listening. He grabbed her arm and steered her into the shop. Let's go in and get warm, shall we? Sybil was dismayed. People were staring. She saw a few of her students giggling behind in their hands, it was probably best to go along quietly and let the fuss subside. But what on earth did this loud craftsmen want with her?
Oh, we're about to find.
Gilderoy couldn't believe his luck, just the person to keep his mind off his woes. He'd only met civil Tolani a few times. Always at a staff meeting, she kept herself Shut up in her divination tower to shield her inner eye. A fact that she always announced very dramatically. Gilderoy appreciated her the theatricality. He also wondered if he might read if she might read his fortune. Surely it had to improve. Oh, Mr. Lockhart gushed Madame Pedy foot as when she saw Gilderoy and civil lingering by the door. It's so good to see you again. It's Professor Lockhart now said Gilderoy with pride and this is my colleague Professor Trelawney Was it his imagination or did madam putty foot look a little crestfallen to see he had a date my it was fortuitous to have met civil on the street. Nothing made one more desirable than being desired. They were ushered to a table at the center of the room and Gilderoy ordered tea for them both. He was heartened by the stares and whispers of the of the patrons. His public still loved him. Even if the pedestrian Hogwarts staff didn't. But pedestrian Hogwarts staff tell us more. But simple looked uncomfortable. She removed her headscarf with trembling fingers. Is everything all right, Sybil? He asked. We seem to be the center of attention, she said glancing quickly about the room. Her discomfort surprised Gilderoy surely someone as flamboyant as civil enjoyed attention as he but that's marvelous, he declared. I'm certain they're all admiring your stunning Valentine's costume. This wasn't true. Of course, they were undoubtedly Star Trek by his own celebrity, but Sybil did look as though she needed some bucking up my costume she said uncertainly. Why, of course it's very appropriate for the day and quite flattering to and these statements were true. He realized when Sybil smiled in response and smooth her hair. She had a nice smile, perfect teeth like his. Do you really think so? She asked. Hopefully, he thought. Of course. I wish I thought of donning red and pink. And he was rewarded with another perfect grin.
Oh, I'm loving this. I don't want to interrupt. Don't interrupt your flow. It's too good.
Perhaps Lockhart isn't so unpleasant after all thoughts civil. He seemed to understand the importance of dressing for the occasion. And he was attentive, something she appreciated. After years of being ignored at staff meetings. She wondered what else they had in common. Professor Lockhart she began Gilderoy please he protested. Gilderoy she began again. Which sort of students do you prefer? underclassmen ows or any WT o the underclassmen. It's so satisfying to give them the privilege of starting their magical careers under my tutelage. Why just yesterday the Weasley twins told me that my illustrious life has inspired their career goals. Sybil felt it was unlikely that Fred and George Weasley had any plans beyond their next prank. But then what if it were true? That would be quite an accomplishment. She strove to be equally remarkable as she replied, I prefer any W T's. By that time, I'm left with only the most dedicated of students, the ones who consider me a mentor and begged me to impart my wisdom, or under my supervision, Hogwarts has produced the greatest number of seers of any wizarding school in the world. What's it her imagination or did Gilderoy look a little startled? She must have really impressed him. He recovered himself and said, Well, that's quite notable a testament to your skills. I look forward to producing an equal number of orders. Perhaps you'll be able to read my tea leaves and tell me if I'll succeed. He looked hopeful. Sybil suspected he'd been wanting a reading all along. She asked, Have you ever explored the art of divination? Gilderoy? Alas, I have not, he said raising his hands and just may not that I wouldn't have succeeded brilliantly but where to find the time. I must tell you, however, how much I regretted my lack of skill when the seer I brought with me to find the mummy of Malta turned out to be a demon who tried to rouse the mummy herself. I was fighting a double duel the demon on my right the mummy on my left. I sent the demon spell back upon her and she was insisting narrated in a column of flame, but the mummy kept advancing. I tried spell after spell to stop him, but it appeared that I would be forced to reduce him to a pile of dust. Then I remembered the Sears cards. She was supposed to use them to divine the precise spell to control the mummy. I dove for them, and then flung them into the air. As the mummy bore down on me I picked up card after card, desperately trying the incantation, I thought the cards suggested. Finally at the very last moment, when the mummy was so close, I could have reduced both of us to dust I hit upon the right spell and froze the mummies feet to the ground. Merciful heavens. That was Madame Pedy foot who had paused delivering their tea to listen to the story. You're such a brave man. As Patty foot sat down the tea things and a plate of sweets, Sybil heard murmurs of a cent. Their neighbors were leaning in listening. One of them was civils outstanding fourth year student Angelina Johnson, whose date the Jordan appeared grumbly as Angelina aside and said, That was incredible, wasn't it? Professor toolani personally civil wondered how the cards could possibly have still been there seeing as their owner had been burnt to ashes. But suddenly Gilderoy was offering her a bowl of sugar lumps and saying, now I'm certain Professor toolani isn't impressed by such bumbling successful though I was you must have your own tales to tell. Don't you Sybil. The truth was she'd never done anything to top that. But she felt that she must keep divination thrilling for students like Angelina so she accepted a Sugar Lump rearranged her shawls so that their spangles caught the light for the most exotic effect and began her story. Gilderoy listened with a mixture of awe and disbelief to Sibyls tale of channeling a prophecy when she was just a child. After she had correctly predicted several professional Quidditch injuries. The Chudley cannons had begged her to do a reading about their upcoming matches in the 1972 International Quidditch tournament. over the objections of her parents and at great risk to her inner i 10 year old Sybil took her grandfather's broom and flew to Chudley all by herself. She said they set me up in the middle of their massive Quidditch pitch surrounded by all the players and the stands were filled with eager fans. Oh, the noise. Oh, what violence it did to my inner eye. But it was too late to back out. I waited until the last moment to unveil my crystal ball. Suddenly the stadium was so quiet that the silence itself seemed to echo I peered into the ball into the unknown and what I saw oh, what I saw.
Last in her story, Sybil stared at the table. Okay, I have to pause and say, excuse me, the author. Your stuff is so like, next level and like I just it's really fun to read because we had it's just there's so much going on. It's just so extra and over the top like they're whipping out his one. Everyone's bouncing around the borough and all this stuff. And here's like Gilderoy going on about his drama and toolani going on about her drama. And this is just oh, this is so much fun. It's like them playing this dramatic ping pong. Like it's like how can I be more? Blah blah blah. It's fantastic.
Yeah, it's it's just the detail of the drama and the talking the in like, of course, the 1972 Quidditch squad wanted their readings don't I believe it fully I'm so
lost in her story. Sybil stared at the table as if into an invisible crystal ball. Her hands spread as if hovering beneath it. What was it professor? What did you see? Said Angelina with a mixture of excitement and fear. Sybil spoke to the ceiling. Oh, the calamity. Then she closed her eyes and placed the back of her hand to her forehead saying perhaps it's best not to tell no tell tell shouted several students who just picture her like doing a dramatic like perhaps I should not tell you like just like a dramatic like swoon like, Oh no, it's too much. I cannot tell you. Reluctantly, Sybil brought herself back into the present. Although she couldn't keep a tone of relish out of her voice as she said. I saw injuries terrible injuries, broken bones, heart attacks, blood spurting everywhere and death
Okay, that was brilliant. on two fronts. The author wrote something phenomenal and your delivery was acceptable. I I'm just I'm living in this universe right now. I'm so invested.
The students gasped. Even Gilderoy felt frightened, though he knew that no member of the Chudley cannons had ever died during a match, civil continued, they asked me what to do in order to escape this fate. At first I was at a loss. What did I know about Quidditch? And I saw no solution in my crystal ball. But then my body began to shake and I felt a great spirit possess me. It opened my mouth and after I after that, I knew no more until I came and came to in the infirmary. But they told me what I had said, what what urged the crowd. The spirit I channeled said that the team would be cursed unless they change their team colors to purple and gold, so several decide. Sadly, they did not heed the spirit wasn't 1972 The year that the cannons change their motto from we shall conquer to let's just keep our fingers crossed, and hope for the best. Lee, who was obsessed with Quidditch history.
Motto ever. This detailing is in trouble. Thank you author so much.
Yes, as as much good as it did them said Angelina. They should have listened to Professor Tolani. Some curse snorted madam pussyfoot. They only lost their standing. They didn't lose their lives at all. Sybil looked a bit flustered by that and Gilroy felt he should support her. It certainly seems like a curse to me to never win to always come in last and then Gilderoy shivered for that, in his view. What a terrible curse indeed, his stomach felt cold at the thought of asking the question on his mind, but he had to know His voice shook a little as he spoke. Can you tell civil when you do a reading if the person for whom you're reading has been cursed? Civil? Yeah, I have thoughts. Sybil saw that Gilderoy was shaken by the cannons curse, she decided that she wouldn't mind doing a reading for him at all. In fact, she felt she would enjoy it. She had begun to feel warmly towards him. They were kindred souls with a shared appreciation for the beyond. So in full yet beyond. So in full view of the assembled students, she said these are weighty matters and this shop is rather crowded, which is no good for my inner eye. Perhaps we should meet later in the divination tower for dinner and discuss them. And in full view of all the assembled students and knowing full well he would be canceling on the delicious gentlemen Gilderoy Lockhart said yes, that would be splendid. The end
on what an end Wow, that story was incredible. Oh, I I'm so I shipped them so.
So what do you think his what curse Do you think he possibly could have on himself? Like what came to mind when that came up?
Oh, well, I clearly think he's been cursed to to not be able to cast anything but one successful Well,
yeah, no, I definitely. Because I feel like he like he would have been known in school as someone who failed at everything. You know what I mean? Like, I like he went to Hogwarts. Everyone knew him. I feel like he something happened. Like either. What if the first like he just he made the decision that he's like, I want to be famous. And how am I going to do that? I'm going to go around and find these really obscure people Obliviate them and steal their glory and read about it. What if one of them like did hex him you know what I mean? Like there was like he talks about you know, the band and Banshee and all these people like, what if one of them got to him before he could you know, whatever. Or like maybe curse? Like the last spell? Is the last spell you'll ever be able to do. And then
yeah, exactly. Exactly. Like the witch in the in beauty in the with the with the petals on the rose. Yeah, it's all coming together. It's
like, oh, this thing figured I improve that you're amazing and can do great things because two can only do one spell. They're scary with expelling Armus so we cannot knock the fact that knowing one spell is apparently all you need.
Well, those people not curry clearly forget that. He also sends up red sparks in the mail. So there's that spelling.
And Expecto Patronum Those are his that is his.
That's it. That's it. That's his entire spell cabin. Yeah,
yeah, exactly. It's like how do I impress someone expect to a petroleum like, how it's really
cool. Polio Patronus still around. It's it's a corporeal stag. I'm so Oh, Lawrence.
Yeah. Wow. Well, that was so much fun and so very fluffy and so long once again but an absolute delight i Yes, that was, that was everything
we overshot by a lot today, like, I have no minutes to spare, we have to wrap up here. I hope you've enjoyed every single second with you as ever. This has been so much fun. I hope it's been fun to listen to. It was wonderful to get to read so many amazing stories, each one as brilliant as the last for different reasons. I am so thrilled that like every time that we get together to do something different. But this in particular was just a great way to get back into the regular swing of things. I'm feeling very in the mood for more fic right now just good. Good place to be. You know, had you said to me beforehand, do you ship Gilderoy and Sybil Trelawney, I would have said no. Yeah, no, maybe. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So now it just so um, it's funny because I just feel like they're they just are gonna top each other with the theatrics. Like, it's like you said, he's like, I appreciate her theatrics. It's just them going on and on and on. So that was Yeah, so that was that was lovely.
I have, like, I can't wait for the next time. I'm so glad this happened.
Thank you so much for listening, as always, and Happy Valentine's Day if you care or just another day for other people. Just today, yeah. Celebrate with fanfiction and just have fun. And we will, you know, whatever.
But also, I just want to say you know, anyone that might be listening on Valentine's Day, regardless of if you're listening with somebody else, if you're listening on your own, remember that you're loved because you're loved by this. We love you.
And I love you, Nathan.
Happy I love you. Happy Valentine's Day to you. I'm so glad that I didn't think when we started this that we already be with Nick. We're nearly coming up on our one year anniversary. How crazy. How RAD is that?
Like I think March was trailer and then May was it? Yeah, we this is while
uh, we've been we've technically we've gone over the one year anniversary already because we started work way way back December of 2019. Which is 2019. Yeah, well, no, I don't know. Yes.
2020 10. Then all of Yeah, went through 2021. And now we're 22 It's so exciting. Anyway, Nathan has to go but we look forward to it episode and thank you for listening and we love you and see you later.
So now that you've finished enjoying that episode, a bet you're wondering what we're going to be talking about next time. Will it be a ship? Could it be a Trump? What about a character centric episode editing makes put the listeners out of their misery next time we'll be focusing on
next episode will be focused around Rita Skeeter.
So come back to enjoy that that earliest possible convenience. But you know, preferably sooner rather than later because we do make it so you listen to it. And we enjoy it. Remember your Gunkel Nathan's advice. Be kind to each other manager Mischeif and we'll catch you in the next one soon.