You mean, I'll tell you why I, my my wife twisted my arm, you know, to kind of write this book. And it wasn't because I didn't want to write it. It's because I had two daughters. I mean, that are now 18 and 16 years old. And I just say I want to rehash but my my big thing is remaining authentic, but also sharing my story, because I think it's very important that, you know, people like myself if we if we can be boisterous and vulnerable about our situations and what we went through in our life, maybe it's going to be help somebody who's dying silently, who's not boisterous. You mean, regardless of what it is that they're going through in their life. You know, so the process of writing the book, you know, you mean about 10 years removed from a 10 to 12 years removed from it, I had to go back in really, while writing that book, step back into that old person who I don't recognize anymore. But stepping into that old person, it brought up feelings, it brought up emotions, you know, it brought up stuff that that I may not have wanted to feel, but I thought as necessarily should go back that to tell the story from that person's point of view, who was me, and then spend most of the time on the book is on the solution on who I am today, how I got to where I am today. And that's why I was so when we talked about different modalities and stuff and why I'm so very passionate about what we do. Because I'm a product of my book, I'm a product of the modalities that we teach, you know, it made me a better father. It made me a better husband, it made me a better human being. So I enjoyed the process of the book. It also led me going back to Massachusetts to hold a big substance use and mental health awareness. And we had how many people that we had close to 1000 people 1000 people, but while I was there, I always you know, I'd stop back and go to Massachusetts to see my kids and stuff. But I was kind of hesitant resistant to doing that event because it was other people that were going to have to be there. And I'm like you know what, it's time for me to go back even though I had been back many times to give back to the community in which I did some destruction in and present in bring outside resources from all the people that we know Nat, right? that they typically would not have the resources to get those people there. And one of our close friends came up to me after The event he goes to, "you know, you just did there, and it would like hit my heart, you know", and he goes, "you just close the loop". And it blew it like something in me changed. And it just made me feel so good that I could take the most vulnerable situation of my life, the worst year of my life and be able to turn it into a positive to give back to the community in which raised me, but also to be able to use everything that I learned up to up till now, even before all that stuff happened to me and be able to work with people around the world to make, help them elevate their life, in every aspect that they chose to, you know, so I love it. I'm so