Hello, and welcome. Okay, so my name is Nicole. And I'm here with Brian. And this is the introduction to the course where we're going to discuss Brian's proprietary method, right? Isn't Did I get that? Correct? Yeah. proprietary process. Okay, the process, and it's called the brave process. So Brian, I don't want to take anything away from you. I want you to tell us all about you, and why we're going to be learning about the brave process. How does it help us?
Well, about me, well, I've grown up my entire life has been very challenging. I spent my academic years with undiagnosed Asperger's, ADHD, and dyslexia. So school was a struggle for me the entire time, because I didn't find out until after I'd become a parent that I had these challenges. And it's very common for adults these days to learn by virtue of their children, that they grew up with these difficulties as well. All three of my sons have Asperger's and ADHD. So I had to learn for becoming their advocate, what it was all about. And in doing so all the red flags started going off in my head. And then I became a student of my own nervous system and my own brain. And I had to learn how I saw the world, and how differently I perceive things, then I had to be able to communicate that to others, and educate them, so that they could meet me halfway, because there was only so much that I could do, because my brain simply doesn't work the same way other people's do. And as much as they would like me to be, quote, normal, my brain isn't like theirs. So part of what they also need to do is educate them on the value of meeting me halfway. And in order to be able to do that, I've got to be able to keep a cool head not being reactive, not let my emotions get the best of me, I've got to be able to keep my perspective. And I've got to be able to be you know, be a good observer, and listener for the other person. And the brave process can help you be that for yourself, and for that person as well. Wow.
So, um, can you give us kind of like a little summary and tell us what we're going to learn through the brave process and how it's going to benefit us?
Well, let me tell you what inspired the brave process, okay. It actually kind of came initially from a challenge by my coach, She challenged all of us, of her clients to come up with a signature system. And she recommended the acronym said, just cope with an acronym, something that defines it. And I was thinking about all of the different qualities that I want to instill in my clients. And one of the things that kept coming up was being brave enough to be themselves, to be vulnerable to take that leap to put themselves out. And I thought, What can I do with brave, and I started thinking about all the different characteristics or different things that we talked about. And it just came together, like in a matter of minutes. And I borrowed a little bit from my psychological training, because my background is in social work. I bought some from my Buddhist training. So I've been a practicing Buddhist 27 years. Cool. And in doing so, I borrowed the concept of bearing witness for Buddhism, which is the B and bearing witnesses a non judgmental presence, we just let somebody tell their story. You just see them and hear them, you're not sitting there waiting for your turn to tell them how you can fix them. Recommended medication, or a book, or a YouTube video or anything like that. You're just letting them tell their story. And so many people just need a good listening to. They don't need to be fixed. And in many cases, people can find their way to their own answer, just by being given the opportunity to be heard. And like I was saying about the other person you're trying to educate and advocate to, sometimes they need to be heard, not quickly chastised, if they get something wrong, we use the wrong terminology. Like so many people will do. They'll correct their language, their verbiage, by not being PC when what they're trying to do is learn. But if you know how to bear witness, and to listen to somebody without judgment, you give them that space to communicate their current understanding, so that you can invite them to be educated so that they can know better and do better. And that's just to be
Wow. And I love I love that you mentioned that you learn this from your coach. Having a coach, other than, you know, like the work that you're doing with your doctors and something and stuff is very important, right to your growth to your development, and and especially if you're in business like you are. So do you have a coaching program also available? If someone wants to go beyond this course, and would like to work on you one on one? Can you talk a little bit about that?
Absolutely, I have a one to one coaching that I offer. And I also offer a group program, and a lot of is based around the brave process, because I want that consistency, you know, to make sure that I'm not missing anything. And it's, I like to work with people together as much as possible, because I find that the community creates the synergy, where all the different people's wisdom comes together, all that life experience that creates an energy that didn't exist before. And wisdom comes out of it that doesn't exist in my head alone. That couldn't, and so much more learning takes place, when you have a community working together, as opposed to just me and one of the person, a mastermind. Exactly, yeah. And you can do that digitally, to kind of a chat group. Or you can do that virtually like this, which is why I provide both within the group.
Very cool. Yeah, that's awesome. And so once we, once we were we've learned and we've done the course, how, how have you felt different? or How has your life been different? since before finding the brave process? And how are your clients able to? How do they feel now that they've gone through this and, and, and they're able to feel more free? Right, they feel more free within themselves to be themselves? Can you tell me a little bit about that? Well, we're
able to get to the heart of the matter much more quickly. Because in the past, when things were a little bit looser, you know, it felt much more like a scavenger hunt, you know, for what do we even talk about, or let's find out what the issue is. And that's a good way of putting it, it's much more strategic, you know, we know what we're looking for, we know what we're going to do with it. We know how we need to flip it in order to make it more useful. And we know where we want to end up when we're done. And where we want to end up the E is we want to emerge into the moment more peaceful. Meaning we want to be able to work through whatever the challenges because while you're bearing witness, you're bearing witness to whatever emotions, whatever feelings come up in the person.
And you have to do that for yourself to write like, you have to feel your emotions. And then you have to be able to acknowledge them without without judging yourself, because I've done that before where I have judged myself for feeling a certain way. And then that just leads into a spiral of shame. So I think Exactly,
yeah. And a big part of the grief process is an A in the grief process is to acknowledge that whatever you feel about those emotions, and those feelings are not facts. Wow. And that's one of the mistakes that we make is believing that this is real, this is the way things are no, these are just perceptions, right. And when you think they're facts, you think it's true. This is me, this is who I am, I'm this bad person. I've done these awful things, I'm not worth it. And once you realize they're not facts, their perceptions, gradually you begin to loosen your grasp on them and they lose their hold on you. And then you can begin to let go of that and and things become more clear. And when you're no longer wrestling with these Gremlins, and the weight lifts off your shoulders, how can you feel other than peaceful? Oh,
I love it. I'm so excited. Oh my goodness, this is gonna be awesome. Okay, so now that we've kind of done like a little bit of an intro here, is there any? Is there any like homework that we should focus on for tonight to prepare ourselves for this week for the upcoming lessons?
Well, one thing to prepare yourself for is one thing I want to ask is to give yourself permission to think differently about what it means to think about yourself. Because one thing that I hear people talk about a lot when they talk to each other around the topic of honesty. They'll say, I need to be honest with you, pal. You know, I need to be honest with you about something. And that's usually a way of prefacing them about to give you a criticism. I gotta be honest, I gotta be honest, man. It really ticks me off when you do this. I got to be honest I really don't like this about you. Well, if somebody says, Well, you need to be honest with yourself, they're basically saying, being honest with yourself equals being self critical. Can't be like that. Oh, wow. Okay. Being honest with yourself needs to be you look at yourself with loving eyes. And you honestly realize that you are worthy just as you are. And bearing witness understands that you are a human being with inherent self worth. And if you feel any amount of suffering, that if you're going through some stuff, that's part of the human experience, that's not an indication that you have screwed up, that you are a lousy person. So give your permission, self permission to think about yourself in that way.
Oh, I never, I never considered that's such an interesting perception. I never thought about the negative connotation that can come with being honest with ourselves just because of the way that the society uses that. And the other thing is, somebody told me once, like, if you have to say, I gotta be honest with you. Does that mean that up until this point in the conversation, you haven't been honest with me? Like
just that you've been telling me what I want to hear all this stuff?
Right? So I always say I don't trust people that say, trust me. And so like, I kind of included like, if you got to tell me that you're being honest. Like, why do you have to quantify that? I thought this whole conversation was honest. That's a good point. I never thought of it like that. Yeah. Awesome. Okay, so this one's kind of short, because we're not getting into the nitty gritty yet. You know, we, let's pace ourselves here. But is there anything else that you want to mention to our amazing people taking this class? before we sign off on this first lesson?
I think we've blown their minds enough so far. Yeah. Okay, let's start with what we've given them, because there's a lot more to come.
Oh, it sounds good. So our main job then today is to take some time and chill, be nice to ourselves and get ourselves ready for the brave process so so we can finally be free and feel peaceful. So I will make sure that we have notes down there. We will have a sheet that kind of has everything that we talked about today if you'd like to take notes and and we'll include all the links to Brian's groups all the way at the bottom so make sure that if you're interested in getting into the insiders group, right, what is it called?
I just call it my inner circle licenses
inner circle. So if you want to be a part of the inner circle, and come join Brian and I because now I'm part of the inner circle too. And I don't say the days because that we might change that but if you want to join us make sure you click down below and if you prefer one on one coaching Brian is incredible. Make sure you click down the link below and apply to work with him. Okay, so we're signing off and we'll see you next time.