This is episode nine of the Ask Dad Labs podcast recorded on April 29 2021. It's simple you ask questions and dad's answer. When we need actual answers, we find the experts. Today we have clay from Austin, Texas. He has kids in high school in college and one in the Coast Guard. And we have Nick from Louisville, Kentucky, his two kids age six and 13. And I'm bad. I'm in the Detroit River, just south of Detroit, Michigan. My boys are 11 and just turned 13. Let's get to the show. Do you guys know how hamburgers wear their hair?
in a bun?
Right there, do you think you could have jumped in and interrupt? I was I was about to say
that would happen so quick. And was so quick and so painful. It was really kind of like an amputation
over that top knot that you used to have.
So what what what made that what really brought that to mind is is my my younger son, the 11 year old? He actually wants to do amanbo No. And, well, I am all about expressing yourself and being flying your free flag. But they look ridiculous. Here's the thing, the only thing with hairstyles that you have to look out for his karma. And I will say that as a as a college student. I had long flowing hair. And I wrote a play. And the protagonist of the play which I also performed was bald. And I was like, No, I would never I can't shave all of this
off to be a bald man. What I did is I just asked for it. And I asked for karma to come and make me a frickin kubal which in a day. So I think encouraged the top not.
Oh, I think and and it is totally out of character for me to fight a hairstyle or something like that because I again, I am all about letting your freak flags
fly on while you can.
Yes, I will give you that while you can.
There's three cue balls on this show. Yeah, I mean, nobody in right now has got a single hair in front of
their light years.
Nobody is gonna hear up front of their ears that's talking right now. So anything that we say is purely out of jealousy, and just poor character. Exactly. Tristen Go for it. Well, he's
never gonna listen to this.
I will say that I miss my hair. My 13 year old hasn't had a haircut in over a year. So his hair is below his shoulders. And it's this wispy, just gorgeous blonde hair. And I missed my hair. I used to be in college, I had a long ponytail. I was everyone said I was doing it after Tony Hawk. Because Tony Hawk had long hair then I was a skater. And I am a skater. But it wasn't it was Ray Underhill, who had a really long blocks of hair. And I do miss my hair. However, come on. We're for it. We're prime love getting ready. Getting out of the shower and being out of the shower and done. I don't have to do any hair dry. No product. No brushing. You know,
sour grapes right there. I don't even know what I'm buying any of that. So
no, dude, I seriously I love it. This is it. I've accepted it. I've been like this for what? 10 years now. 15.
My older sons now he's, you know, he's 2322 23. And yeah, starting to get a little shine a little thin. He's in the military. So he's got to keep it short. But man, I'm getting a lot of grief right now for the genetics
what little hair I have. I still have more hair than my brothers. They were they were at this stage when they were in early 20s. And I didn't hit this until my 30s so and they threatened all the time that anytime I complained about it or made fun of them that they were going to like hold me down and shave my head when I had my ponytail and shit. So I still have more hair than them. So I I'm good. We're gonna come back to crazy stuff kids do but but let's check in for site week.
We're getting a puppy on Saturday Labradoodle puppy and we're all excited and we're doing our d&d birthday party on Sunday. everybody's excited about that. And so we're gonna take a puppy to a d&d party. Now, the world is changing here at the food household and it's gonna be something else for the next couple weeks. How about you guys with anything new
still fighting this with the kid for homework? He finally did get caught up a couple of weeks ago when I said I wasn't fighting with him because he was telling me he was caught up. He was totally bullshitting me. So we fought all last week, and then he finally got caught up. And so he's, he's caught up, he doesn't have anything missing. He's got like four assignments due by Friday. So I'm still fighting with him on that. The girl is still doing great. She's Looney Tunes about Roblox. And it's one of those things it's like it's not I got it, I got to be with her when she's playing it most of the time. If I can know her mom sitting next to her or something, because Roblox can, some of the different servers can be kind of not age appropriate for a six year old. But she does pretty good about ignoring most of that stuff. And we don't let her chat or anything. And she just runs around in that. So that's Roblox is is huge in our house right now. Again, not happy with that. But otherwise, I've had a pretty good week of productivity with the laser bids.
Yeah, neat stuff coming out.
And yeah, oh, man. I gotta I gotta show Naser creations by Nick. We'll
link to it.
I've got a show next Saturday. This is Derby week. And then next Saturday is the beechmont Festival of flowers, the local neighborhood market Spring Festival. So I've been doing a lot of Aeroplan stuff and a lot more coming out. And it's been it's been fun. It's been really good, mentally creative. And, and I'm into strength training him in week 13, of shoulder recovery. And I'm doing really well with that. pt has been awesome. Excellent. Clay.
Well, this week was my mother's 80th birthday. And thank you, technology and science, everyone in my family, it has been immunised so I was able to gather with my mom and dad, my wife, my youngest son and my sister. And we were all able to go to a restaurant and sit outside and celebrate my mom's 80th birthday, which was really pretty awesome. Now, one thing to note about the family dynamics is that my sister was my boss for the last seven years. And she recently left the company. But so we have this kind of working going together. And you know, whenever you're at family gatherings with a teenager, and you know, you just you're just like, Oh, dude, bless your heart. It's the 80 year olds, and the 50 year olds, and you like the 117 year old at the table, and you just know that people are going to be firing questions at you. And it's old people and it's not the food you want. Like it's the it's how, like, there's no that that dinner is like hello from my son. But he was a good sport. And he hung in there. Hey, answer the questions about college. He's a junior in high school. So questions about college and what are you thinking about? So he was all great. And then he came out this one statement that just totally cracked me up, which is I so my wife's work doesn't have a ton of flexibility. binders. So when it comes time to take the kids to go do stuff, it's typically me that's doing the thing. So I did take Cooper to get his second shot. We're in the car, but I gotta do I gotta do a meeting, right? So he's got to listen to me do a meeting. That's the company that my sister for him. And at dinner, he's like, Well, let me tell you something about my future. I spent two hours in the car, listening to dad talk about one word on a fucking label. package, and I swear it will never happen to me in my professional life, is I will never be on a one hour phone call, or I have to talk about a label. And he just went he went on this hilarious rant about how boring my job was ads just totally lighting me and my sister. It was really it was both super charming and so entitled I could have punched him in the face. That label is gonna put you through college. So here he is. and awesome, but it was a it was a great dinner, but pretty, pretty funny. And he's he's a good dude. He just got All state lacrosse. He is he is, you know, we're gonna we got to get the academic stuff squared away. But he's he's trying to do his part, my oldest son who's in the Coast Guard and has a very serious relationship, his girlfriend was able to visit him. She's also on the Coast Guard, visiting from Hawaii for the first time since October. So we haven't heard anything from him. My daughter who's in college get to play in a field hockey game. she's a she's an athlete, and they actually get to compete. So that's good. Guys, I don't know even how to describe and tell the story, but I will, because this is just me on social. My daughter who is gay, posted on social media pay this, I just want everybody know, this is my new boyfriend. And there's this cute sequence of photos, where it's like her, and then like her and the boy, and then like her with her head on the bush filter. And then I was like, What? What is going on? I think my daughter just came out as straight. But this is fusing me. So I was like, I was like, I'm not ready. Like I I'm cool with having a gay daughter is like, kind of invested in that now. And
so, and then I looked at the comments and like all of her friends were like, oh, oh, what a power couple. You guys are so awesome. It's so great. And there was just all these comments. And I was like, oh, guys, I don't I don't know what's happening here. I'm texting my wife. I was like, I someone helped me. And eventually, nice, younger son text her. And she's like, Dad, that is my roommates boyfriend. It's a joke. And that's what I deleted my Instagram account. I just deleted it as he's like, I don't understand. Social media. I don't understand young people don't understand anything anymore. I'm out.
Says the founder, co founder of dead labs. Know what the hell's going on in social media. I know understand irony I was I was waiting to be that you finally saw the date and it was gonna be like April Fool's or something and you got suckered big time.
I totally got
school. That's awesome. Well done re
among the things that college students have done ridiculously was no, I'm gonna have to remember his name. Josh Swain in Arizona. Yeah, Nick. I know you know about this clay. Do you hear about Josh Swain? It's ringing a
bell. But so so
my sorry. So we were at a, we were at a hotel swimming. Just Just trust me, the guy, the kid with the long hair. So he's telling me Dad, tomorrow is a big day. Tomorrow is when Josh Swain is going to meet a bunch of people in battle. And whoever wins gets to be Josh Swain and everybody else has to change their name. And I'm I was blown away by this. I had no idea what he was talking about. So we go back and we look this up. And I learned all about this. And then the next day it was all over the news. It was on. It was on on kid news on Monday morning. It was on NPR. It was on all over the place. So no, Lincoln, Nebraska. This kid that was in Arizona at Arizona State just randomly a year ago on April 24. Said I challenge all Josh swains to a battle for the name Josh Swain. Everyone else. It was I think it was all all Josh is not just Josh. Well, well, it was all Josh swains. And he extended. So when they formalize this battle plan, it then included all dashes for something else. And then and then it grew into it grew into a really strange string. And it started as a strange thing.
And the the preview also said, you have a year to prepare. That's right. So
be ready. But he picked random coordinates. He didn't actually look at where it was on a map. And so he picked somebody farm outside of Lincoln, Nebraska. And he didn't think this would this would catch he didn't think anybody would would care. He did this by inviting every person he could find by the name of Josh Swain into a Facebook group, and then declaring this. And so that's what went viral last year. And he thought everybody would forget about it. But then it appears that maybe a month ago, people said okay, where were we Stan? You know, where do we get hotels? Where do we get the setup? And so he had to actually follow through on it. So the farmer wouldn't let him use the field. So we had to change the location. And we had to get this out. There's a subreddit about it. And eventually they all met up at station from Lincoln showed up they they declared in Reddit that they were sending their reporter named Josh to do this. So it started with they're gonna do rock paper scissors for who would be the final Jeff Swain then they were going to have a pool pool noodle fight among all the dashes that were there. And then after that pool noodle fight, they were gonna have a pool noodle fight between everybody that showed up. And he was hoping for about 20 people to show up and it looked like it might have been more like 250 or 300, maybe maybe 500 people,
but it was it was pretty. I mean, all I only saw phone video on social media and it was a it was a good crowd of people that in and very well behaved. Yes, I mean, and they they did a fundraiser that raise money for a local Was it a Nebraska hospital? Yeah, it was a it was a Lincoln or it was in Omaha, Nebraska Children's Hospital.
I believe either that or maybe it was in Lincoln. But the the name of the fundraiser was that it was it declared that it was a fundraiser to for the legal fees for all the other Joshua's to change their names. Right. So that's how that's how it was named on the fundraising site. Yeah, but it was actually going to the the Children's Hospital. Yeah. And and then it was a food they did did food. Food Bank can drive. Yeah. So so he really turned it into some really good stuff. And as as Duncan would say, it was very wholesome.
Yeah, wholesome is a word that kids use,
because Josh Swain was little Josh, the littlest kid. I think he was four years old. Yep. And they declared him the winner. They gave him a big belt and a Burger King held one of the Burger King crowns.
And then they hoisted him up. And it fell over his face. And the crowd just went nuts. It was fantastic as the Joshua,
and you know, that's such a good, you know, that's such a good and we know that then is the master of these things. What a good What a good transition. This is like today's topic, right names.
Yeah. And well, and then I saw a follow up that this should be done every year, in a new location with a new name, and do it as a fundraiser. And I'm on board for that. I'm ready to go battle for Nick.
They're probably a lot of Nick Dawson says to you.
Yeah, I know. There's at least three. So you know, they're there. At least. I'm working out. Um, you know, I'm getting
a couple of Clay Nichols I'm kicking their ass on social right now. Like, one of them's one of them's a dentist, he's got to be super bummed out because anybody puts his name and looking for his dental practices, you know, somehow ends up watching DadLabs videos.
My asking him about that.
Yeah. What do you think of that knows Frieda?
That's for another. The next topic, I came up with it, I started another story, but that's gonna take us know, 10 minutes, we don't have all day.
So names, what strategies Did you guys use to pick baby names?
I don't remember exactly how we came up with them. For our first eldest, it was something that I just wanted it to be cool. I didn't necessarily need it to be a name. It's passed down throughout my family or whatever. I just don't have that family history dynamic that you know, we have to have a third or a fourth and all of that stuff. wanted something cool. And something that wouldn't be horribly easy to make, you know, make fun of, you know, as because kids are insane.
And we only believe Clay Nichols is a name that
couldn't make fun of it rhymes with Dick. So yeah, I'm sure it does. It's easy. We ended up with, you know, something that's meaningful for both of us. His first name is the state where she is from, and his middle name is named after the city where I am from, then, with the girl. We still tried to do something like that. But ultimately, it was just the name that she picked up that she liked. There's no real rhyme or reason. There is a Beatles song with her name that Alice really liked and kind of just like, Ah, that sounds right. I like that name. And her middle name is a namesake. It's named after it's the last name of one of my best friends from high school, who I'm still great friends with. So that's where our names came from. I know that doesn't really help a whole lot when I'm trying not to put their name out.
This is a really tough topic.
This is not the most comfortable topic.
Well, no, I mean, I do It's just an at this at this point. Yeah, I'm sure I can get permission from the 13 year old, the six year old. It's not one of those, you know, not really yet. And I started doing it because you know, with Dad Labs and things you guys were discussing that whether How long can you go with blogging at the beginning of all that, with putting your your parenting life out there before it becomes an issue for putting your kids dirty laundry out there. And that at this level for me, it's a neurosis thing. I've been doing it the boy and the girl for so long and his mind when when we got a dog, my friends didn't ask what the dog's name was. They said, Oh, you finally got the dog. So, you know, we have the dog, the cat, and the kids. So but yeah, you know what, for the sake of the conversation, it's Indiana Lewis. And now I know some people think when they read that name, they think it's a girl's name. But we also think it's the dog. Yes. And that actually plays into it. People like oh, like Indiana Jones like, Well, yeah, but it was more just for that joke. Right? And then our cat's name is Henry Jones, Jr. So the whole thread of the job the circle of the joke is we named the dog. No, wait, we named the cat in the way we named the cat, Henry named the kid Indiana. And then penny from Penny Lane. And Reese from my friends lost. Awesome. So they're, they're out there. Now there. You can see.
I've got a couple other things we'll get to you clay that the first one was I learned recently that my mother had a formula for our names. She wanted a Bible name. That was three syllables. That was shortened to two syllables for a nickname. And so I believe I was supposed to be called Benji, which, you know, doesn't doesn't last for one. But my sister, Rebecca is shortened as Becky and Abigail as Abby. And so that that fits that it was such a strange criteria set that she had for that. And it's amazing. I don't know that she could have had a third kid. But well, or I'm sorry, fourth kid. Yeah, cuz she did have three. But yeah, and then and then we actually we are the way we named our kids was is has has a unique quality to it to that, that we completely made up. We didn't go with anything like that. But clay, how did you how did you guys come up with a set?
Well, we didn't, we actually failed to come up with any first names. But more on that in a minute with it with the oldest. And this is going to be a little tricky for me. we named our oldest after my wife's grandfather, who is a beloved person in the family. And it seemed like, you know, a way to pay tribute. And then his middle name is my middle name. So, you know, we always thought that he would be known as well. And but he arrived and he is Wilson and he's Wilson to everyone, except for folks in the Coast Guard for whom he is willing. And well, people of his rank, he's willing to everybody else. He's Mr. Nichols, right. Anyway, you know, just in the last couple of years, the grandfather that he's named for his, his name was Woodrow Wilson, Gary. So really, ultimately, you know, he is he is one generation away from being named Woodrow Wilson. And as we all know, Woodrow Wilson's reputation has been dimmed by his clearly racist views. And Wilson, my Wilson is very much opposed to that he's that he's very much a guy who's about social justice and has really done a lot in his life. So it's caused me it's, I've had some thoughts about that. And, and, and initially, when I heard that he was Willie to his shipmates, I didn't like that, because he's Wilson to me, but I think it's okay. I actually like the thought that in the service, he's known as willing. And I don't want him to have any shame or embarrassment about his name. You know, I now have to think he's named for his grandfather. And that's where it stops. He's not named for Woodrow Wilson. He's named in honor of his grandfather, who's a part of his family always has been, and so he can he can be proud of his name and, and continue to own that. But I definitely It's weird. It's like, it's weird. This topic came up because I've been thinking about it lately. Other two kids. Like we always want to pick these kinds of like, Cool progressive names. So you know, my, my younger two kids are Riley and Cooper. So basically If you look at my kids first names it's like a law firm Wilson Riley and Cooper like none of them all have last names his first names like what are we thinking? Say we have this law firm of kids. And and we thought this there were so original, but you know, in our neighborhood Now throw a rock and you hit five Riley's and three coupon. Just like those names that seem so kind of a little bit edgy and interesting and not super gender specific and not, you know, Bill and Steven, you know, now they're just they're super popular. So I feel like in the name game, we did not. We did not really excel.
They're not they're not the super, super common ones. So at least you've got that.
Yeah, yeah. I
have one of the Aiden Braden.
It's not the most trendy but you probably one level. Yeah,
I always every time I hear Cooper, I think a BB Cooper.
Yeah. So maybe it'll Joe. robbing a bank? I don't know.
So, so with with my kids, Deborah was a huge fan of the Highlander TV show. And so she desperately wanted to name Duncan, after Duncan MacLeod of the clan cloud. And so we got that. So she got to pick his first name. That gave me the right to pick his second name. And I picked the so it'd be Duncan the fote. And she said no, because that's how it works. Right? Right. Yeah. So I can't I couldn't, I didn't get it. So I said, How about Vaughn? So it'd be like, Vaughn fote. Right. Noble? Yes. except we're spelling it va. UGH, en. Because then I can tell people. Well, I had a professor in school who was just the best professors, a great trombone player. But he was also just the nicest, nicest guy, he would leap over, you know, buildings for anybody. And, and he's still around, and God bless him. He's just a phenomenal guy. And and so being able to name you know, have a middle name after this guy. Just an honor. Well, so so we go around and Deborah's sure that our second kids going to be a girl, you know, she has, she just knows it. And so we've picked out these these girl names, and the only one I can remember is the one we were actually telling people, which was Desdemona, Nosferatu, because we were tired of people asking. I don't remember what the other names were. Probably Fiona, but Desdemona Nosferatu, and it turns out that it's a boy,
that is clearly the worst girl's name ever imagine.
I don't know Kahn, was it constant whaler banana hammock?
Believe it or not, that was inspired by a cemetery headstone that we saw when we were geocaching. So anyway, so sir, obviously not not a girl, Deborah decides she's gonna pick the first name again. And she thinks tristin fits well with Duncan, right? They sort of rhyme but they're distinct. And middle names. What are we going to do for middle name? I decided it's not fair to let one son have the cool middle name. Because she still won't let me have the. So we're going to give both kids the same middle name. And so they both are von fote. As middle and last name, really?
I don't know.
That's cool. It's
super weird, but it's also kind of cool.
Yeah, it's just it's that that fine line of Alright, cool. Weird.
Yeah. Well, so so Duncan, you know, Dunkin interesting for a while, thought that our last name was one foot. Oh, yeah. They were hyphens. So Deborah. So Deborah was was being called Mommy, one vote. And I was daddy Yvonne vote. And, and they've they've since they've, they've gotten past that. But, but that's pretty cool. And I find middle names can be kind of interesting. We've got we've got a family, family friends, the mom of these two little girls, her mother decided that she was not going to enforce a middle name on her children. And when her children got old enough that they would get to pick their own middle names. And so I think they've decided that's only going to be for the girls. But they get to at like 13 or whenever they decide they're ready. They say mom, I'm ready for a middle name. And this is going to be it. Now. In that case, I really was advocating for the because their last name is Smoot. And if you know, MIT tradition, there is a fraternity that that goes out and measures a bridge over between between Cambridge In Boston, they had a tradition of measuring it by the the number, the unit was the shortest member of the fraternity pledge class. And so they had to line him up over and over and over again and find out how many whatever's that is. Well, the one that got historic was a man named Smoot. And so they actually marked it on the bridge permanently. And when they resurface that bridge, recently, the the city went back to find out how how tall he was, so they could put the markings back. Because it was that way. That guy also went back went on to become an administrator in the US Department of weights and measures of all things. And so if you go into Google, and you want to translate measurements, you can actually do like, how many feet smooth. So for them to have a girl named that smooth would be perfect. If she was that tall. guys write
that down. I'm gonna check that. All right. That's.
So here's, here's one thing I'm going to say. And when it comes to parenting advice, I'm rarely prescriptive. Like, I generally feel like, you know, a lot of these things have got, you know, a lot of latitude in them, everybody has to make their own decisions based on their own life, I have only one absolute, and it comes from personal experience. And it comes from naming. And that is this. Do not name your child in a way that you call them by their middle name. This is a curse that I have lived with my whole life. Everyone knows me as clay. That is my middle name. And what that creates, in terms of headaches, across the digital travel landscape, is innumerable. So whatever stupid fucking name, you want to hang on your kid, I don't give a shit. If you want to call it a middle name. You can do whatever stupid shit you want to do naming your kid just do not for God's sake, call them by their middle name. Joe do that.
I hear that simply because my name is actually not Nick. Nick is short for something else, which will remain known to those who know and only those who know. And all of my insurance people and my driver's license and all of my financial institutions and all of that. Yes, absolutely. Every time I go to the doctor, hey, have your insurance changed? No, but we're not finding you. Oh, well checked under Nick. Oh, there it is. Or check under the name.
Yeah. Well, you know, you go on calls. You have a lance loudspeaker. It's like, Gordon coat and the kids are like our, our our
Yeah, yeah. And, and I did that to myself. I changed my name myself. You know, I went by a new nickname. So yeah, it's, you're absolutely right. That's craziness. Side tangent. Because that's what we do. I was at bt The other day, and waiting on my trainer. And she, I call her my trainer now because she's, we're just doing weightlifting. And the lady that had just come in. The reception is like, well, that's an odd name. Where did you get that name? otter? The woman's name was otter. And without missing a beat you like, Oh, I chose it myself. I was like, that's fantastic. I mean, I said it out loud. I said, That's fantastic. But she's like, I don't know, it was a nickname that just kind of stuck. And my kids call me otter, and I'm like, okay, that's just like kids call their mom, mom. But yeah, like, she goes by honor. So she went legally changed it. Like I'm thinking about changing it again. But that's just, that's just oh, okay, I'm gonna go change my name legally. To otter. Fantastic.
So I have one more middle name thing. And that is some a friend married a woman whose family tradition was that any man marrying into the family changed his middle name to the first name of his wife's father? Because there's some sort of explanation of it. They're swapping names, right? So she grew up with her father's last name. She's giving up her father's last name. But her husband is taking on his first name as a middle name. Er,
my wife, her name. I wanted her to keep her own name because I didn't want to sleep with someone that had the same Western
fare. Yep, my wife actually she decided that she liked my name better even though it's harder to get people to pronounce it right and all that but she she's she always says that she He chose me. And so with me, she chose my name.
frosh is a lovely, thank you.
Thank you. It's foget bucket
if you didn't know, or in Indiana, it's actually for wheat. I didn't realize that that's how it's pronounced. Yeah. But the closer you get to Indianapolis, it is most definitely fleet. And my first name is AJ apparently. So there you go. This is a great segue. Because our last thing is, it's this week of every year that I remember that our anniversaries are only a couple of days apart. Yep. Right. So set well, seven, two years, and well, our anniversaries are great. Yeah. But so you're at 17 years. We just got to 15 clay your anniversary isn't anytime soon, I'm guessing. Where is it today?
It is this summer in my 25th
Wow, boom. Look at you.
25th anniversary this August.
Congratulations.
Yeah, fantastic. Yeah. And it's, you know, because of the pandemic and everything else. That's one of those tacks that just, we got some stuff that we were dealing with. Sadly, we even focused on the fact that we have this really significant adversary killing f1 kind of family dynamic. So you know, I don't know, I don't know exactly how we're going to end up celebrating that. If
what Yeah, but you gotta that's, that's a big one.
Yeah, do for the kids. You
got to figure out some or some.
Yeah, we'll figure something out.
I proposed to my wife. I was actually about three miles away from her. When I proposed to her. I did it on TV at Thunder overload. So every year, Thunder overload was kind of my anniversary party for us. And it also gives me a you know, this gigantic reminder that Oh, yeah. You're getting married. You got married this year, this this weekend? So yeah, it was it was a crazy day. And the year after that, we went to Thunder celebrated our one year engagement anniversary, got on a plane the very next morning with New Zealand, and got married the following Tuesday. So it was a I can't believe it's been 17 years. That sounds like such a big number. And I still remember New Zealand like it was yesterday.
And they won't let you back.
They won't let me be back right now. I am not shitting. You. We looked at immigrating as the week came back. And it's really tough. It was tough, then it was tough 17 years ago, because of their immigration thing. They do it really well. I think you got to be a value to their community, basically. So if like you're a doctor, nurse, anything in the health field, something that they're looking for, Lord of the Rings was obviously huge at that point. Wow. It's been 17 years since that out the third. So anything in movie and CGI and all of that that was huge, then so that was a value to them, none of talents or skills that either of us add. And also it was you know, I day of travel away from her family. And she was not, we weren't really going to do that. But it's still on the lottery retirement plan. We would have to live there six months and then leave for a month every, every six months, we'd have to leave, we wouldn't be able to be New Zealand citizens. And I'm okay with that. Come home, say hi to the family for a month and then go back but still waiting on that lottery plan. That retirement plan is not the most reliable plan. But yeah, 17 years. Wow, you're you're 15
right then 1515. It was it was something you know you you did your proposal, and then a year later you got married. What I'm remembering from our anniversaries is that our first anniversary, I got hired to go work, dark tournament. I was programming computer system for a dark tournament in Las Vegas. And so a couple days before our anniversary, I flew out to Las Vegas, and I had a hotel room at the rib, which is no longer there, of course. And so I was out of the rave we were on optifast as a diet. So we were on a liquid diet and we're in Las Vegas. Right? Bad idea. We shipped all our food out there. So so we had this big box of packets of drinks mix. And then she flew out like four days later so well she was flying on our anniversary but didn't get into Vegas until the morning. And so so we spent our first anniversary apart, even though she was going to Vegas, so, so we ended up spending spending a couple weeks in Vegas for our first anniversary, but it was bizarre.
babies come from Vegas. Yours do. So you know,
we managed to hold off
a little bit, I always felt like it was one of the things that I always found incredibly ironic was that the baby show up until you know, it was in the liberal, the baby show was always in Vegas, would always be in Vegas, reviewing all the latest latest baby products and just laying waste to ourselves in the landscape and behaving in the most uncool rental at ways possible when DadLabs is there. But yeah, yeah, anniversaries are, you know, just in, you know, just a great excuse to God, treat yourself and your wife to some, you know, great experience and be able to get some space for once. And I think easily, we've done a pretty good job of finding that I don't know about this year, this ever is just gonna be crazy. But do you guys 25 and we dated for six years before we got married because I'm not a quick decision maker. We've really been together for over four years.
Wow, we dated for two years before we got married. And then we you know, we decided or I will say that I was like we're gonna be a couple for two years, we're gonna be us and be together. And do be us for two years before we start having kids and never end you know, of course, you get married and everybody's like, when you haven't you're doing even when it's your second marriage. But I was gonna ask do you guys do any kind of traditional things every year we we started to, we tried to go somewhere, every anniversary, and it didn't have to be far. You know, we went to Vegas, we went to Phoenix or Tucson one year. You know, we went up to Brown County, Indiana, you know, we've been to you know, some little just more like staycations a little, you know, weekend trips. And we always try to buy a piece of art that represented wherever that chip was, or some pieces. And so we've got like four or five paintings in the house that are were purchased on anniversary trips. We've we've gotten away from that with kids, obviously. But we still try to do that do something this year, we didn't obviously didn't do anything. Last year, we obviously didn't. We had every intention of going back to New Zealand for 10. Didn't make that because we had like a six year old. We're not going to make it I don't think for our 20th but maybe our 25 I think will I think that's going to be a New Zealand
trip. You know, I think I think I told you what our what our tradition is because if I think through it, so 2006 we got married 2007 was when we were in Vegas, when I was in Vegas, and she was flying to Vegas. 2008 was two days after Duncan was born. And so she was in the hospital, we had our the birth package included a special meal the night before you're released. And so we got a special meal for our anniversary, because we were in for two days. And then the next morning. So we had a little cake and in all this and we got to choose off the fancy menu at the hospital. But otherwise, I mean, I went home and and got sleep and she stayed at the hotel at the hospital. And so we didn't we didn't see each other then and I guess today's sort of similar. I've been on podcast interviews and stuff all day to day. And so we haven't really spent any time together since about six o'clock this morning. So So yeah, this is pretty much par for the course we avoid it
all together. We really have kind of failed on the on the anniversary front we really have resolved to do
in the future. We know we spent time together on on Monday, but we didn't go anywhere and do anything simply because pandemic kids are in school, whatever. But yeah, I did not forget I didn't post it up on Facebook, but I did not forget.
Well, and I'll tell you having a having a kid's birthday right before your anniversary makes it so you can't go anywhere. Yeah, it's gotta have a weekend closest to that birthday is going to be a birthday party. You know, whether it's grandparents come in or whatever. Yeah. And so we really plan that horribly.
Yeah, but here's the thing. You don't have to there were several years because our anniversary falls in. I was working at university and in the print shop. So it was right before commencement. So I was putting together the commencement book every year with all the names and all that shit that you know, this big thick book that everybody flips through and yeah, every year So after like the second or third year, my boss was like, dude, can you put that trip off? And so after you're done with that, because I would come back from my trip, and it would be like this two day of panic, everything, get it done. You can celebrate it anytime you want. You can say, you know what, we are going to do an anniversary trip this year, and it's going to be going to Disney World. At the end of May. You know, we did that one year. So yeah, don't don't get a card and or present or and or flowers for the day for the date. But as far as a big celebration, it doesn't have to be on the date, even for birthdays and all that. celebrate it when you when it's when it makes sense for your family. I mean,
what do you guys think? Now, this may be an unpopular opinion, and it may ultimately be a little self serving.
That's why you're on here. Clay. Wait, I
thought that was my thing
is for the Unpopular Opinions
is I can think about anniversary announcements on social media. Like, I don't know, I don't know, like birthdays and proclamations of your love your wife on their anniversary on social media.
I don't love it.
I don't love it. I don't
feel my page for the past couple days. Try to hide mine.
I don't know. I don't know. Why it just makes me feel like is this the right space for that? You know,
what do you What's the point? You may have noticed that all of my anniversary posts this year have been food? Well, you're
and it was totally shaming to because thing What the hell, Ben, you created the most beautiful meal. There's a standing rib roast. You
know what you want to know the best part of that though. What's the best part of that making
me look bad?
It took me 30 minutes to make that meal.
Oh shit.
I'm not kidding. worsening.
That's even worse, Ben. You're not making it better that you're belting on me right now. Huge
flex right. Here you go, Ben. You're a foodie. So yeah, of course. And if you'd
like to learn how I made that meal, just listen to my fourth podcast.
Do you guys go with the gifts. I mean, we tried to do Deborah got me some whiskey glasses for this year. Because 15th is crystal or glass. I'm I'm getting her a mirror. We we bought a mirror for our wall right inside our front door. And I hung it with command strips. And Deborah said don't hang it with command strips. It won't stick. And so I did. And it stuck for about three days. And then in the middle of the night. And Shattered Glass all over our entryway. Yep. So yeah, I'm sure that wasn't because of the command strips. I'm positive. It had to have been something else. This time. We're gonna we're gonna superglue that thing there. But we're still not going to drill holes in the wall.
But we haven't we haven't really done gifts. I tried to do a nice birthday gift. She's got a pretty big birthday coming up that we won't say on the air. You Did Last. We don't generally do big gifts. And every year it seems like I've got something that that cost a lot of money that comes up and I'm like, I'm paid up for all of the gifts for the entire year. Like behind this curtain. There is a second laser cutter, you know, so I'm like, I don't get anything for my birthday. I don't get anything for our anniversary. Because that's Yeah, a big chunk. But I try to do something we are going to go to Bon Jovi concert sort of added driving in at the end of May, kind of as our universal guide. We haven't had a date night year. So we're going to do that. We tried to do something like that, but we don't really do gifts at all. And really, what are you taking notes there for? Free, sir.
Silver gift.
We're going to be Yeah, so the next six weeks we're going to be brainstorming ideas.
Silver 25th is silver anniversary, man. It's one of those big ones. Yeah. Probably got to pay attention that somehow silver might mean and maybe paying for a filling.
Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Get some cat silver cats. Yeah. Get a grill
to find some interpretations of silver. There have been a couple of a couple of anniversaries where I did look it up and do a theme gift would I remember I did it would anniversary I did a paper anniversary scenario.
Doing you're doing silverware this year, right? Yeah. I don't know how to do silverware. I just know it.
I hope I don't toasters or silver. One of the things I'm guys, I'm in household like contraction at this point, like, we're down to three or bout to go down to like, we don't need a whole lot of household new household goods. So you got to think,
like you're gonna get it. 25 years. You've got all that shit.
A silver Mini, you know, a car. That's
now he's getting a new car. That's right. And, and taking his dad to it. Or Yeah,
tweet me. Well, I got it. I got it. Yeah. So.
So can we continue? Yeah, we gotta we gotta help you out there because you got to do something. Yours. You don't you can't. You can't let that
go. quarter century What?
You can't just do flowers.
That's right. It does go fast. I think we all agree on that. Oh, yeah. As always, thank you to Nick and clay and their awesome families, for sharing them with us today. Ask DadLabs is produced and edited by me Ben fote and fote Media productions LLC. Like follow, subscribe and share across the social media landscape, wherever you find DadLabs Talk to you next time.
