Hello, everyone, thank you so much for joining me for another episode of The More Than You See podcast hosted by me, actor, filmmaker, mental health advocate, Deborah Lee Smith. Every Monday, I come to you to share some resources, have a conversation, and generally just dive into all sorts of topics around mental health. I am not a licensed practitioner or therapist, but just a woman exploring my own mental health journey and sharing it with you, my listeners. My hope is that this podcast brings you some joy, some understanding, and some tools so that you can build your own mental health toolbox.
Welcome everyone to another episode of the podcast. Hey, guess what, I'm going to mix things up again. So I so appreciate everyone's feedback and messages about how the season is going so far, what you are enjoying about these interviews, what you wish there was more of I love that stuff. And I want to get more of your feedback. Because as I said, from the beginning, this podcast is created, you know, for you. I mean, it's for me to like, talk through my stuff, and share things with you all share my own journey, but this is also really, so that you all can get something about your own mental health journey. And you know, maybe something that I've shared or a guest has shared will resonate with you and help you understand yourself a little bit better. That's always my my purpose behind this is to serve you.
And so because of that, I really want to make sure that I am giving you everything that I can possibly give you in the best possible package. So I've actually created a quiz on the More Than You See website, I would love. If you wanted to just go to morethan-yousee.com/quiz. And that link will be in the show notes. It's a quick five question quiz. I would just love to hear your feedback. And I will use the feedback from that to continue to develop this season.
But in the meantime, something that I want to try and something that I want to do today is give you my own experience, feedback, takeaways from the conversation - the interview that was released with Michael Kostroff. And I think that this is kind of a piece that's missing right now in my podcast, excuse me for just like going off on a tangent here. But I think that there's, or at least what I've heard from you all, that there is something missing from the fact that you all want to hear, you know my perspective on the interviews and the conversations that are happening. And because I really just love listening to interviews, I love listening to other people's stories and just allowing them to really engulf the space. And so because of that, I'm really not sharing my own experiences. And so these little mini episodes are going to be coming out every other week. So there'll be an interview every other week. And then on the opposite week, it'll be a little brief episode just with me. Again, short, 15 minute episode, me kind of debriefing what the previous episode made me feel, what it made me think about in my own life, and my own mental health journey. And maybe there's something there that will help you uncover something in yourself.
Socin this case, you can kind of, you know, listen to the whole interview, or you can, you know, listen to my takeaways, and then go back to the interview, kind of whatever you are thinking, whatever you want. And also, sidebar, please make sure that you're checking out our Instagram because I'm posting little clips on there from the interview as well. And I think that sometimes it's really fun to just see pieces of it and then decide whether or not you want to like dive into the whole episode.
In any case, that disclaimer aside, thank you for sticking with me. Let's actually dive into today's episode and in today's episode, I want to talk about two different things that Michael Kostrooff talked about in his episode. And if you did not listen, Michael is a well established actor and acting teacher, filmmaker in his own right, and he is, you know, incredible. I'm sure that you've seen him in many, many things.
And two pieces that really resonated with me was, number one, the idea of taking agency over your choices and over your life. And then number two, generational and childhood trauma, whether that is sexual abuse or some other kind of trauma. So I want I'm going to briefly Talk about those two things today and how they impacted me and my takeaways.
So I want to start with the piece about agency. You know, because he's an actor, this episode really focused on the struggle of being an actor, the struggle of being creative. And the idea that we, myself included, feel like tossing in the towel, giving up, feeling like this career is just going nowhere. I mean, probably about once a month, every couple months, it depends on the person, it depends on what's going on in my life, of course, but that feeling is not alien to me. I certainly understand that. And I think that that's normal, even outside of an acting career outside of a creative, crazy career like this one, I think there's often times where we're in situations or in the middle of things, and we feel like we're kind of on a train, that we're not sure if we want to get off of it or not.
And the thing that he said that I thought was just so powerful that I want to reiterate today, was the idea that sometimes you need to get off the train in order to decide whether or not you want to get back on it. And what I mean by that, and what he meant by that, in specific, specifically relating to acting was that he likes to like every six months or once a year, basically make the conscious decision that he is going to quit being an actor. And to that, he means he will look at other careers, he will just kind of play out in a fantasyland what his life would be if he wasn't an actor. And maybe this isn't something that he does as much anymore. But this is definitely something he's done in the past. And this is something that he advises his students and the people that he coaches to do. So just making that conscious decision to get off the train, and then look at your life without being on that train. And then making the decision as to whether or not, that's something that you want to get back into.
Now, of course, there's so many other nuances with this, because, you know, you could be in a situation right now that seems safe and comfortable. And you see other scenarios or other situations that are also very appealing to you. And you may think that, you know, those other situations actually seem more appealing, but they're scary, because they're they have an unknown, they are not something that you've, you know, delved into before. All of that is valid, and whatever you're feeling in whatever situation you're in, like, that's all valid. I think the main takeaway from that, for me, at least, was to take control of the decision, whether or not you change your mind in the future, right now, in this moment, what is your decision, and just making that conscious choice. And I think that there's something really powerful in doing that. I know that, as an actor, I feel like I need to choose every day to continue along this crazy, ridiculous path. And I think the same can be said, for relationships, for friendships, like life takes work. But it's about making that conscious choice, that the work is worth it, and that you feel like it's going to be the best for you in the end. So I don't know if that makes sense that I hope that that resonates with you in some way. I just know that that piece of it is definitely something that has stuck with me, since I talked with him, you know, a few months ago now, before the episode came out.
And then the second thing that I want to talk about is childhood and generational trauma. Now trigger warning, because I am going to be talking about sexual abuse. So in this episode, he very explicitly talked about his own sexual abuse as a child, and how that has impacted his life in you know, very strong, but also sometimes very, like quiet and minimal ways. And I did have a couple people reach out to me in response to that and thanked me for, you know, like allowing him to have the space to share his story. And of course, I'm always so happy to give people space and in whatever way they can. But I think the thing that is really key here is that some people reached out to me to say that even though they hadn't necessarily experienced sexual assault in the same way or sexual assault at all, they still felt some of the same responses - they were triggered by it, and it resonated with them and their life and their current experiences about different things.
And I want to just reiterate that that's perfectly valid. You know, I talked about generational trauma in another episode, and I think we should do an entire episode about generational trauma. But there are so many things in our lives that we don't even know are impacting us. And it may not be something until years later, something triggers us and goes, Oh, that's interesting, that really profoundly impacted me in this in this in this way. And I mean, there's even things now that I'm going through in therapy, that I'm like, Oh, crap, I never realized how much that one instance, affected me.
And so I just want to remind you that whatever experiences you had as a child, whether they were seemingly drastic, or, you know, inconsequential, or whatever, they still had an impact on your life and the way that you operate in the world, the way that you show up in the world. And I would encourage you to allow yourself to sit with that and to give yourself some like space and understanding that there is so many layers in our lives and in our past in our past trauma.
And because I really want to make sure that these episodes are as educational and as helpful as possible, with these little mini episodes going forward, I'm going to make sure that I share a resource about whatever we are talking about. So today, today's resource, I'm going to share a couple different books on the More Yhan You See website around generational trauma, and healing from trauma, childhood trauma. And if you go again, if you go to the More Than You See website, the link is in the bio, or, excuse me, the link is in the show notes, you will see a couple different links to a couple different books that I have put up there as well as either my personal experience with them or other people's experiences with them.
And I hope that, that if this is a piece that you really felt yourself like a little bit lost and a little bit like, Oh, man, I'm feeling a lot of feelings - I don't really know what to do with this, that you can go to the More Than You See website and look at some of these books, and maybe pick one up that might help you process some of these things. Of course, always I think that therapy is so incredibly important. But I do think that sometimes this like inner research, and these little pieces of knowledge that we can glean from other books, or other resources are very helpful. I mean, that is what More Than You See is all about is just allowing you to build your own mental health toolkit.
Again, I want to thank everyone for their ongoing support. Please, if you have some feedback for me, please fill out the quiz. I would love to have your notes and your feedback. And so I can just keep building this better and better. If this resonates with you, please leave a rating or review on iTunes Apple podcast wherever you listen to podcasts that really truly does help.
And I just want to remind you that it no matter if something is small or big, if it's impacting you that matters. Don't compare your trauma to anyone else's. Because if you are feeling triggered or if you are struggling with something like that's your experience, and that's perfectly okay.
Next week's episode is going to be all about postpartum. I personally have not experienced that, but I have several friends who have been so wonderful and sharing their own experiences with postpartum and depression. And if you have, you know been with someone that has a child if you are thinking about being a parent, if you just want to learn more, I strongly encourage you to check out this episode because I think that there's going to be a lot of really incredible tidbits from that and I'm just very excited to share it with you.
Again, please be kind to yourself. I'm specifically talking to myself this week as well. I think that it's so important to just remind ourselves to to be kind and to give ourselves grace for our feelings. Please remember that you and everyone around to you is More Than You See. Thank you so much for listening. I will see you next Monday.
