The Pursuit of Learning - Sherianna Boyle
8:42PM Apr 25, 2021
Welcome to the pursuit of learning podcast. I'm your host, Clint Murphy. My goal is for each of us to grow personally, professionally and financially, one conversation at a time. To do that we will have conversations with subject matter experts across a variety of modalities. My job as your host, will be to dig out those golden nuggets of wisdom that will facilitate our growth. Join me on this pursuit. Today on the pursuit of learning. I had the pleasure of having a conversation with Sherry Anna Boyle. Sherry Anna is an international emotional detox coach. She is the author of nine books, including her most recent emotional detox now, emotional detox, and emotional detox for anxiety. She has been featured in over 85 articles. He is an adjunct psychology professor, and the founder of emotional detox coaching. Sherry Anna works with clients of all ages, backgrounds and abilities virtually worldwide. She is the host of emotional detox radio, and the Chief Knowledge Officer for the relax. On today's show, we dove deep into Sherry Anna's book, emotional detox for anxiety, and her cleanse method. Each time I do a cleanse, I feel calmer, and I felt calm. After this conversation, Sherry and I hope you enjoy the show. Sherry Anna, welcome to the pursuit of learning. I want to dive right in with you. And where I want to start is we're a little over a year now with COVID. With that lockdowns, isolation, depending on where you live. And something that resonated early on with me in COVID, I heard on a podcast was isolation equals amplification. And where I've been seeing a lot of that in the people that are close to me or in my social circles, is anyone who had a bit of an issue with mental health that's really amplified, whether it's depression, whether it's anxiety in the work that you do, is that something that you're seeing as well?
Definitely, definitely, it seems that individuals that we're already struggling, it's just kind of hit an all time high for them. And some things have gotten to the point where they need to really take that next step, which would be you know, to really get some serious help. So, so yes, I have definitely, especially with some of the younger folks, I've seen that. And I think that what I've said about COVID, that the thing that makes me nervous, especially when it comes to children and teenagers, is I think we're missing some signs, I know we're missing some signs of depression, because when you have children that are being told to go off in a quiet space, and a lot of those spaces, let's face it are their bedrooms. I know, for my children, they're been doing school out of their bedrooms. So that's kind of one of the signs of depression, if we weren't in COVID is when a child no longer wants to be around the family. And so when you have hours upon hours, where they're separated like that, it it does become you become desensitized, you become so used to them, not coming to the dinner table. Now coming around to chit chat. And because some of them have a lot of homework, quite frankly. So I've been seeing and really China up my responsibility of educating people and alerting them. This needs to be addressed like this can't be ignored kind of thing.
And that is also why I wanted to dive right into emotional detox for anxiety because the more tools that people have available to them, that they can use themselves or use with family members, the better we're all going to be while we're working our way through this. As I dove into the books, one of the things I noted was that historically with anxiety, the focus is on treating, preventing and reducing the systems rather than working with emotions. What are some of the challenges with that and for you what may be a better alternative than that historical method?
Well, I think that that That's one angle and one approach. And there are methods out there of treatment and support if that viewpoint works for you, but there's a lot of people that don't feel like they were getting better with that kind of framework. So when I wrote the book, I realized I needed to kind of create a new foundation for it. And I really feel after doing all the research and just working all these years with people with anxiety, that the symptoms are very often a sign that there's some emotions coming up to be processed, and haven't we not give the symptoms so much attention. And instead, we change our view angle, and start looking at it from a little bit of a sign that, oh, wait a minute, that may be my body's trying to let me know that there's something in me that needs to be what I call processed, and just like food, just like you have to process the food, you have to process your emotions. And just like food, if the food is layered, and pesticides or chemicals and, and it's, it's got all this preservatives in it, it's not going to be as good for you when you do digest it. And that yet, if it's, if it's raw, if it's organic, if it's free from all of that, it's going to serve you better, it's the same thing when it comes to our emotions. When they're raw, they're organic. And we don't layer them with instead of pesticides, I call it reactions. The reactions are what we're releasing, so you can get to the core of it, which are the emotions. And once they start processing juice, you do start feeling better.
And that's a great way for me to think about that. And we're going to dive into that in more detail. And as, as I was thinking about it, when you were talking about how to spot depression, in our kids that are, you know, I saw my son be in his bedroom for 20 hours in a row the other day, and I just said, Hey, what's, you know what's going on? You look lethargic, you look off? Is there anything we need to talk about? And let's get outside together? But then the one thing that jumps out to me is, how do I from a self diagnosis perspective? How can I tell the difference between whether what I'm feeling is anxiety? Or it might be simple stress? Or even acute stress? How can I start to differentiate between those?
Yeah, that's a great question. So the the big differentiation is stressed is usually has a reason, right? I'm stressed because I have to take a task, or I'm stressed because I have a deadline, I'm stressed, I just have a lot of things on my plate. Anxiety doesn't need a reason you can wake up with it, you can go to bed with it. And people ask you what's wrong with what's bothering you? And everybody wants to wants to really fix it, right? How can we make this better for you? And sometimes people just can't explain it. I don't know what it is exactly. And their life could be absolutely fine. Absolutely like to be on vacation, and a beautiful place, and have anxiety, and no rhyme or reason. So that's the big difference. If you're someone who struggles, stress happens, we all get stressed, you're not going to be free from that we all get overwhelmed. But then when we get the things done, or whatever, we feel better. But not everybody functions that way. Not every big, or it doesn't last very long. It's temporary. So that's when you start thinking about anxiety.
And one of the things I found very enlightening was you talked in the book about an anxiety cycle and how it works. Can you bring our listeners up to speed with how that anxiety cycle works?
Yeah, so basically, you get a trigger. And you can get triggers no matter what but but with anxiety, you can kind of get stuck in a trigger. So triggers are memories. They're either bodily memories, or conscious memories, or they're unconscious memories. So it's really tricky, because I know again, we want so bad to just fix it and make it better and help someone get through things. But it's memory. So it might even be before you were born. It might even be before you were verbal, that your body just has a memory of being maybe shocked or startled. So, you know, scared stiff is the way that I like to explain the memories anytime you're scared, stiff. So that's that freeze response that you might get where you're just like, there's so many people they don't know what to say. Or they don't know how to handle situation. And they're literally freezing, maybe conflict, or public speaking so big one, and and then there's that fight or flight response, which we hear a lot about in the field of psychology when it comes to anxiety, right, we hear a lot about. But the thing that we don't make the connection as much is the fact that what I say in the book is there's a memory of an emotion that's looking to be processed. So let go of trying to figure out which event it is in your life, because sometimes we want to, I mean, sometimes that helps to make a connection. But sometimes, you can't make a connection. Because it could be something that you witnessed not necessarily went through, or maybe a parent who was really struggling, and you watch them go through something. So I said, Don't waste too much time trying to figure out the cause. Just know that it's a trigger of a memory of an emotion in you that you've been burying that's looking to be seen, heard and invalidated. So keep revisiting that in the anxiety cycle, you keep going back to that emotion. So with anxiety, it's fear, typically, it could also be anger. And it really kind of limits your range of what you feel you feel like you're always feeling the same damn, hey, all the time, or sadness, or overwhelm kind of thing. When you feel like you're always revisiting the same emotions. That's a sign that there's something there that you need to process.
And something interesting, you mentioned at the start of that was you mentioned it could be from before you were born, for our listeners that are wondering is that the concept of intergenerational trauma, which I've only started, you know, we probably don't have enough time to dive deep into that one today. But something if your listeners in you want to dig into that you can do some further reading on intergenerational trauma, and how the trauma we experience as parents can be passed down through our DNA to our children. It's actually absolutely Well, it's scary. But it's a remarkable concept. Yeah, one of the other things and in some of these are the foundational blocks that tie in to the cleanse method, which is really what I want to work through with you and get our listeners up to speed on but I want to get some of these foundational blocks in there so that they can understand because one of the next ones you talked about, and you've talked a little bit about that reactivity was you talked about the concept of brain withdrawal, which means that we are reactive, rather than responsive was how I took took away from it in the reading? And can you take our listeners through what you mean by that brain withdrawal response? Because what I'm imagining as we get to the cleanse is it's those emotions that were detoxing, it's curing a bit of that brain withdrawal, and cutting off the anxiety cycle that we're going to be working with.
Well, something interesting happens in that cycle is our thoughts become the way that we cope. So when to start realizing that the thoughts are the way that I've learned to manage what I feel. So I managed from chronic thinking. And when you go to chronic thinking as it is, it's just you're just trying to control. So as you begin to go through the cleanse, maybe one of the things that you do cleanse, is the fact that you might be using thinking as a way to not feel.
So you tell yourself a story, perhaps in your mind, to ignore the true feeling.
You keep yourself busy. That's one way brain is is thinking, right? The brain is great for making decisions. I mean, that's why we have it. So do I want chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream? Do I want to drive this way? Or do I want to take this route to work? It's wonderful for problem solving. It's terrible for processing emotions. It's not designed to process emotions. So use your brain. But no, we're overusing it. We're using it for everything. And it's exhausting. I mean, everybody's trying to think their way. And again, it's the fix. It's the figure out. It's the problem solve. All of that is brain brain brain, which the more brain you go to, the more energy you lose, because it's like, it's like a car with gas, and you're just, you're just driving around aimlessly, you're not really going anywhere, not really accomplishing anything, just just run a new car down. But that's what happens when we go Got a brain and attempt to deal with our emotions just doesn't work.
So is as often as possible, or in different ways figure out how to shut it off a little work, calm it down, whether that's through mindfulness through an emotional detox through cognitive behavioral therapy, but learning to shut off that monkey mind as much as we're able. So that when we truly do need it and want to use it for what will add value in our lives, it's not exhausted.
Well, and that is one approach and cognitive behavioral therapy is has been proven to be very good for anxiety. So I'm not I'm not going to say that that's not the way that people that usually show up in my world have are the ones that have done that it got them to a certain place, and they're really looking for the next step. So maybe they just, they just, they still feel it. And, and so what I'm saying is the thoughts are indications of triggers. So we don't really want to shut them off. Because they do let me know that I've got emotions to be processed. So it's just a matter of, Okay, I'm ruminating on something, which is a symptom of anxiety, I'm ruminating. And oh, okay, wait a minute, I'm ruminating. So that could mean that there's something in me too, to process. There are some emotions that are that are, and it's a good thing. It's not a bad thing. It's like, Oh, I'm ready. I'm ready for this. I'm ready to feel this now. Because if I weren't ready, my body wouldn't be directing me in that way.
Okay. So now that we've covered some of that background, conceptually, Sherianna, what is an emotional detox.
So based on what I've created, because no one really created any foundation out there that I could find people would write about it, maybe an article or a chapter, but no one really laid out a structure. And you have the emotional detox for anxiety, I don't think you have my core book, which is called emotional detox, which was before that. So I in my core book, I went through a terrible crisis my whole family did, and I talk about it in there. And so when I wrote him the cleanse, which is what you're talking about, I want people to know, it wasn't just from a research perspective, actually need a notional detox. So, so it was ended up being the biggest blessing, because I could, I was doing some of the more traditional things during this time, the crisis, and I was finding some of those things weren't working for me anymore, because I knew too much about emotions. So to kind of keep some and weed out and weed out others. And so the cleanse came to be from going through it from researching it. And, and how I put it in acronym, quite frankly, is because when you're in high levels of anxiety, you can't remember anything. I never, ever intended to come up with an acronym for seven steps, never, I just was going to write about emotional detox. It was when I was in it. And I was like, I literally can't remember why I just drove to the store. And I'm standing in the store. And I can't remember what I'm supposed to get at the store.
So it's in moments like that, that you need something that can just,
and I just thought this is unrealistic to think that people to write for me to write a book on emotional detox, and not give a system that they can go back to and practice and reinforce because I mean, as you know, we change the brain through repetition.
So you have wherever it is that you pick to do for yourself. It's just you just got to pick something that you feel aligned with. And then you got to repeat it. And, and so that's how the cleanse steps came to be. And they are seven steps. I know there's a lot of like three step things out there. But for me, this once you get it down, they really so naturally fall into each other. It almost feels like a three step. But as I explain it as a seven step just to kind of really walk people through that process of what what's really going on behind the scenes. And that helps people with anxiety too. They got to know upfront what, what it's about what they're doing. And anything that you can do to provide a structure for people is going to be the best thing because you can't just say, Did you try this tool? How about you try this or My friend tried this, or right? And how about you? Cuz they get over there already overwhelmed? Yeah, right.
All of those things are increasing my anxiety as the person says, it's like,
you know, try this herbal to try this, my friend did this. It's just it's too much. So
I stick with the same system, I never change. And then people know what to expect from me as well. Because, you know, again, if you keep changing the game, or trying to say, oh, that doesn't work, try this. It's too much, it's enough to make them want to give up,
you just made me realize that a significant way that I lead my life is a bit of a means for addressing potentially some of the things that come with anxiety. And what's jumping out for me, Sherianna, is I'm a very on or off person, either do something. And when I do it, I do it all the time. Every day, I do a lot of streaks, like I'll run every day for a year and a half. Or I'll meditate every day for a period of time, where I don't do it at all. And I'm realizing that part of that is because I'm creating a routine. So that I don't have to be thinking about it. And I don't have to overwhelm myself with what am I going to do today? It's like why no, I'm going to run, I'm going to meditate. I'm going to do my yoga, because those are my things I do. I have my routine, I'm not going to deviate, that resonate partially with what you were saying right there.
Yeah, routines are great. And practices are great. And you do change. I mean, people do do something, especially if they're as committed as you were you do it every single day, it would make sense that you would sort of let it run its course. And that's, that's how you do things. Right. And, and if it's helping you then that's, that's wonderful. What the way that I resonate with that is the cleanse if the steps have stayed the same, I have a new book coming out in the fall, it's I wrote 135 cleanses, so people can self guide themselves through the cleanses. I know it's called emotional detox now. And if you wanted me to back on the show, I don't even have a copy of the book yet. But we could cleanse together if you if you want me to come back. But But anyway, even since I wrote that book, I just wrote another one using the cleanse. And what I'm seeing that even the cleanse is starting to it's starting to get deeper. So what started as an initial framework and concept that went into the anxiety book that you have, which is more structured, because that's what again, when people with anxiety need a very basic structure, not too much. And then once they got that down, they can do the 135 cleanses. And I think and then and now I'm using it in a way where I'm integrating You made me think of this pockets of deep meditation.
Yeah, I could see how that would absolutely, yeah, if you're doing a 30 minute mindfulness session, let's start it off with a cleanse. And then once I've, once I've done the cleanse, it's so relaxing. And I actually just did exactly what you're saying. I was in my steam shower this morning, and I worked through the steps. And then I just, you know, I stayed in for another 20 minutes or so just having a deep meditation in the steam came out a lot more relaxed than going in. It was beautiful. So as someone's getting ready for an emotional detox, what are some of the things they should be doing to prepare themselves,
you know, can't really be easy on yourself. It's, it's, it's really about finding a time of day like anything else, right? Where you're going to apply these steps for you, it was in your steam shower, but you you already seem to have created a time for that. And about 10 minutes, you know, 12 minutes. So it takes once you get the steps down and keep it consistent. I like to kind of sit in one of two chairs that I have. And I feel because you know, we associate a lot of things when we have a lot of visual memory. So if you sit in the same chair, you're gonna, your body's gonna pick that up after a while it's gonna say, Oh, this is where she, this is where she does her cleanse. This is where she's relaxed. This is not where I get into, you know, this is not where I look at emails and, you know, do all that kind of brainy kind of stuff. This is the chair where she processes what she feels and I'm going to make a mental Association. So I've got two different chairs that I might go to, and I just kind of have a little space where I have a little window that I can look out. And so it's really about you know what time of day is going to work for you carve out that practice at 10 minutes. And the core book emotional detox, I talk more about food and things like that, that you might want to consider with emotions, that I'm not a nutritionist. However, as you probably wouldn't be more well versed in this kind of stuff than me, but anything that is unprocessed, right, is going to be good for emotional flow, anything that's good for digestion, think of it that way. So if something's messing with your digestion, and now it's up to you, whether it's dairy, dairy is something I did give up for my personal emotional detox. One of my daughters who's entered one, or she's 20, has chosen to give up dairy, she sees the difference in her anxiety levels. So it really depends on your how your body's responding, you have to listen. And if you find that you get kind of bloated or inflamed from eating something, anything that inflames your body is going to make it difficult for emotional flow. Because now your body's got to deal with the inflammation. Right?
Yeah, that would make sense.
Yeah. Water, hydration is always wonderful. I find when I cleanse, I get thirsty. And it's because when you go into a relaxed state, or meditation, you do observe more water in your tissue. And that's a good thing. So all the basic things that people have heard, you want to start to pay attention to, and you want to just, it's more important that you just do it every, if you can, it's that's a daily practice. And I still like that's what I do every single morning is the first thing, because I find you don't realize when you wake up in the morning, how much you have things on your mind. So for example, I might be worried about what kids that's usually like the thing that I might be pushing it aside. And so if I sit in my chair, and I do that first step of the cleanse, which is just some calming, and then I go into the next step to look inward, which is the owl starts with the C which is the common tools, the owl, which is the looking inward. And then it might look like you know when and when I think about what so and so said to me, right? Maybe had a conversation about something with someone, it makes me feel right. And then you just breathe into that. And you let that bubble up. We just don't want to keep going on and on in our lives without addressing things. And then at the end of the cleanse, you feel better and you move on great. And usually, I don't need to talk about it verbally. whatever's going on, I find the cleanse does it. And then if I do need to, you'll know. And so you have to learn to trust people talk too much can they get themselves so worked up, I get to talk about this, we got to talk about that. And we never talked about that. And I say process your emotions first, because likely that person is just triggering something in you that you already had, before you were even in that conversation from could be from your childhood,
it's a great way to think about it. So instead of reacting to whatever they're saying to us the cleanse regularly and partially for so if I've mentioned this on on a couple other episodes, Sherianna is always trying to increase the gap between the stimulus and the response. And the cleanse will absolutely help increase that gap. So that the response isn't from a place of reactivity isn't from a place of Oh, they triggered an emotion I wasn't even aware of. I've cleanse that emotion, I can respond to that without a attribute eating, ill will on the heart on the part of whatever they're saying. It's a great way to look at it.
I love that. Yeah, that's a great way for you to explain it. Definitely. And I love the way that you're practicing.
Yeah, the so what I thought we could do is take the listeners at a high level through what the steps are, and give them a flavor so that they can then buy the book dive in deep because I think it's a very beneficial way for them to address some of the things we're talking about. And you've already indicated that first step, the C is the calming and what I read was clear reactivity and what are some of the you know, two or three ways someone can clear reactivity, one of the ones I've started and I find it ties really well is another time to do it regularly. Is yoga as a way to just calm yourself or clear that reactivity? What are a couple other ways people could do that?
Yeah, so in my practice, I usually do some neck stretches. So what I like to add in I don't know if it was in again, I'm always recreating the cleanses, I like to add in the bilateral stuff. So the right hand on the left shoulder, I think this is in the book, I think I started doing this after. So when you cross the midline, you're already the neurons between the two hemispheres of the brain are forced to cross, right. And we want that whole brain activity to happen. So right, so what I've been doing for my neck stretches right hand on the left shoulder, then I dip your, towards the shoulder. And the other thing I've been adding on lately, as the eyes go over, and I don't move my head to do that, I take my eyes, and I dropped them down over that right shoulder, do you feel that clench a low strain on your eyes? Mm hmm. Yeah. And now you come back to center. And it's really important that people do so now you observe your breath in between. So give it a second, because sometimes it's a little delayed, don't you notice that clip. And sometimes, if you're thinking, the breath will be delayed, and you'll be on the other side. And he didn't get any breath, right. So I always say, just kind of make sure you kind of sit in the center, let the breath kick in, then you would do the opposite hand on the opposite shoulder. This is that clear reactivity stuff. And then the eyes I've been adding in the eyes. Because again, we're looking to change brain triggers. And then you bring your head back to center. And when your chin is parallel, you know, you're lined up with your heart, you really just sit for once, usually, maybe a three second space, let that breath kick in. Now we're starting to feel emotions already. And we're in step one, right click, you can feel it, because you're pretty in tune to this. But I'm already kind of feel them happening, right? Yeah, yeah. And that's a beautiful thing, because people think it's gonna be painful. To feel right, they think it's gonna be horrible. That's why they don't want to do it. But it's not as you're gonna feel so much better to feel than to not feel so then the look inwards place I just mentioned is that, you know, and in the new book, I give all sorts of statements and scenarios, and people are going to be able to just pick what they're going through. And that's that statement. And we could just do a simple how I feel in my body right now is, and then you breathe. And the key is you don't?
Yeah, that was interesting to me the answer? So I say how I feel in my body is? And my answer is just breathing a nice deep in, and there's going to be some things that fire in the back of your mind. But you're not, you're not looking to think the answer.
Let them fire.
It effectively just intuits, right? It just fires, I feel
and let them fire because it's unwinding. It's cleansing. So if there's a fire, I love the way you say firing in the background. Absolutely. There's a firing I am all the time, you're not going to stop your thoughts. You have like 60,000 of them a day, you know, that's not going to happen. Let them let them rip. I always say, let them go. You know, let them be free. Stop trying to keep them at bay. I just look at it as Oh, wow, look at what look what's releasing from me. So I can feel look at all the thoughts that are now just releasing right in front of me. But I don't give him attention. I don't engage with them. I don't give him any energy. I just stick with the clients. So the next step is the emit, which is a mantra. So the mantra. We know, in that second step, I'm very well aware that I could experience some bodily responses there. Because I'm purposely we're poking at some things right? How I feel my body right now is is going to bring stuff up. And like you said the thoughts there might be a little tightness somewhere a little pinch somewhere, a little something. And that's great because it's coming up to be released. So knowing this is the best part. I knew that you can't leave people right at that. is not good to bring stuff up and have them getting pinged and walk away. So that third step will always, always be there for people, which is the hum mantra. And, and that is just a seed sound. I wrote a book on mantras, so I know the value of them. And I know how sacred they are and how healing they are. So I knew there was going to be a mantra and the cleanse. So that would be the mantra hum.
And is there a specific mantra that you recommend in this one? Is it as simple? Om,
I love the hum. Because there's so much research on it, Om, has a lot of research as well, I found him really has a lot. I mean, they've, you could do I don't know if that's what people like, not everyone is a yogi. So I want to make sure we're, you're comfortable and but hum is what I do.
And the hum that you you, I believe I might be correct on this definitely fact check if I'm wrong, is you offer two different alternatives want one you suggest they do the harm with closed lips, which creates that vibration, and the other is a deep breath in, and then an open mouth deep? That's just really letting it all out there in a nice big base. Is that accurate? Yeah,
yeah, I recommend it. I play with it all the time. But I usually will do that long one that you're referring to that and aside, like people like that one a lot. But the the one with a mouse close is pretty strong. And sometimes I'll repeat it like a mantra, you know, and then do a nice long one. It's whatever appeals to you. You can be creative in that space. But as long as you're getting some kind of a sound, that's the meaning. You know, that's why it's called the net, you want to eat net sound. so important. And again, the mantra will help. And, you know, I've worked, I'll never forget when I worked with a man who had lost not one but two sons to addiction, and he had suffered an addiction. So he talked about family line stuff. And when he was, you know, one of my greatest teachers of why I knew sound would be important, because the way that he healed himself was to let release sound when he was in the shower. And he just said, it's just the only way I could get through the, the heartbreak and the pain. When you told me to make that sound. It changed my life, you know? And when I heard that, I was like, Okay, I just knew he was meant to be in my life. Because if it can help him, it can help anybody. Right?
So yeah, just the way the vibration, like what I'm doing is one of my, there's so many steps that I love and for all for different reasons. But the way the way your body, in your mind just starts to vibrate while you're doing the hum. It almost feels like you're just tapping into the Earth's vibrations. And there's, like, I keep thinking this step really grounds me. Like it just brings me even though I'm emitting out, it's bringing me into my body and into the earth and just tying the two together.
Now you're so smart. I, you know, I, I just wrote another one on the cleanse. So you're gonna really love that one. Because it's exactly what not the one in the fall. I just wrote another one. And it's all about that. So now let's bring it down into the earth. So you're already there. You already ahead of me. But uh, and, and so yes, you are, you're bringing it down to Mother Earth, and you're feeding her because not everybody's going to do the cleanse, cleanse. So my feeling is those of us who are willing to do that to do be of that service can bring it down into the planet, the core of the planet and we can the Mother Earth will vibrate. And that will help everybody. So that's the next level of cleanse thinking now that now when I cleanse Honestly, I mostly cleanse for other people. I know I'm going to get the healing. So my intention is more about the earth and the planets and you know, everything that's going on with the Earth right now. And I think a lot feels
like it starts to tie into a metta practice now is using the cleanse to tie into others and bring just shared love and joy and energy.
Yeah, in fact, I'm doing a class and just a little while and that's the Yeah, I just wrote to them this morning. I have seven people. And we we used to cleanse together and we're going to kick back in tonight. And I said just remember the attention of this group and why I'm doing this because this is all based on a book that's not even out there yet. But I just said I can't Wait till it's out there because the earth needs it. Now. Remember, the intention is we're bringing inhaling into the earth. And that's why I'm doing this. So anyway, yes, that's that. That's how the practice now expands. So the next step after he met his activate, and it is about, okay, you know, we've crossed a bridge now, because now we have vibration. And when you're in those higher vibrations, because emotions of fear, have a certain vibration, and anger and sadness, and all that have a lower vibrations. But now you've lifted all that because when you process an emotion, it becomes higher vibration. And my feeling is you got to watch what you focus on now. Because you don't want to be focusing on everything you don't like, or how anxious you are numb and numb, then we don't go back there again. Now activate is about activating joy, which is where's my attention going? Now? What am I focusing on? And you can use visualization for that piece where you might imagine I now as a, as you know, I've been doing the cleanse so long, I just sort of let my own my imagination do the work. I don't really try to focus on anything you might relate to that. It just kind of bubbles up my awareness. And I just whatever I see, I see. But in the beginning, yeah, I would, I would say okay, I would imagine there's a lake by my mother's house where I always feel peaceful. And I would go to, I would go there in my mind. And I would just sit in that space of joy. And then after the Activate comes nourish, which is it's just about really, okay, you see it, but now you got to turn it up a few notches. Do you feel it? Yes. Right. You got it's like turning the volume up. And it's a training, right? Do you feel it? Do you smell it? Are you there And remember, where your body doesn't know the difference? It really believes this and you're changing your brain, your chemistry, your neuro chemistry. And now now you land in the surrender, which is the ass, which is your freewill statement. Because we all ultimately, I can guide you through five steps, but you have to choose it, because that's the way we're designed. We were given free will. I can't make anything happen for you. And that's where it's really you are in the driver's seat, meaning what am I going to allow in my life to occur? That's got to be made by the person.
Yeah. And before we talk about the allowing statements, tweet on activated nourish on those to the Sherrianna, have you done? heart rate variability training as part of your work?
I'm familiar. I owned one of those little gadget things. Yes, yeah.
Yeah. So for those who are listening, they're the heartmath Institute offers some devices that you can clip on to the one I've used in the past clips onto your ear, and it plugs right into your iPhone, in the concept is that your heart through doing certain exercises, you can get into a coherent state. And it's almost to some extent, quantified meditation, because you can see whether you're in that state or not, and some people may say, Well, maybe it's Hocus Pocus and doesn't mean anything. But when you're in a high state of coherence, you know how you feel. And trust me, that's how you want to feel all the time. And Sherry, Anna, what I did for activator, nourish, was I know that memory that puts me into that state of coherence, and I use it here. And I'll share quickly with you what that is, is when my oldest son is 12. When he was about four years old, we were at my sister's house and I'd gone for a jog. He rode his bike beside me and we were coming up to the hill that led down to her house. And he was still always so scared to go down a hill. Because he you know, what if my brakes don't work, and in that day, like I get a little emotional. He said, okay, Daddy, you can let go of my seat. And he was going down the hill. I was running full speed beside him just to catch him if I could, in a look of pure unadulterated joy was on his face. And he just looked at me and he smiled and he screamed, like, I'm doing it, Daddy, I'm doing it. Sun's beaming down the wind while you're running. His joy just shooting me in the face. Like there's nothing I can ever think of, you know, maybe my other son whenever he just has a beautiful face and says, I love you, Daddy. Like, they just when you can bring yourself back to that memory, you can put yourself there, everything that's going on inside just it doesn't, it doesn't matter anymore.
Now that's that's a great example. And there are some some techniques out there that really recommend that that you go that you go to something that you remember a time where you felt that joy, that's great that you have that memory to go to. And if you don't have the memories, and you just then you have something look forward to me to create, right? Because I know some people feel like they don't remember things because they they just remember the bad and look at it as you have an opportunity to just go out and just what's it like to sit in the sun?
Yes. And that's what I was going to say. Because that's that's a simple one that I love is just you're closing your eyes and you're feeling the radiance of the sun. And you you offer a number of different nature scenes. And you offer to the reader. Here's what that scene in nature normally does. This might trigger joy, this might be calmness, this might be this so they can in. I think in your 135 cleanses, you may have different nature scenes for each of those cleanses for that person to
Yeah. Okay, I do and I also came up with about, Oh, God, probably 35 ways you could do that step one. So, you know that clear reactivity, which is can we just did the nap thing, but there are so many ways that you could do that step that you could find works for you or you can change it up now. And then because again, sometimes things like you said, sometimes you do things for a while, you're like, I'm not gonna do that anymore. Now I'm going to do this. Well, that's why I like the cleanse because I will mix it up with different things and make it fresh again. Right.
So yeah, and then back to step six surrendering. So normally, I'm resisting things I'm anxious. And instead what what you say in this step is what am I going to allow in? Yeah. And so you invite the reader or the cleanser to create statements allow statements? Is that what we would call them? Yes.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, that's your surrender statement. And then then the final step is E, which is ease, which is the I Am, which is real full integration of who you are, who you've always been, we just, sometimes we lose our way. So that's, that's the cleanse. So you can see the way they kind of, like a little bit of a flow into each other. So seven seems like a lot at first, but then you get the rhythm. And yeah, I don't know if you feel this clip. But if I don't go all the way to the end, I almost feel like, you know, I just have to finish something. It's like not tying your shoes, putting your shoes on. Oh, yeah, I got tough shoes. I just find finished it all the way to the end. Don't begin another one without going to the end. Sometimes I'm tempted. And I say no, I got to stick with the process. Because you're building a trust with with yourself. you're beginning to trust your energy. You want your your body to know what you're up to.
Yeah, that's so such a beautiful way to think about it in sharing something that jumps out for me in the I allow. Because for the for the reader, the aim statement is or the easing, we say an I am statement, and it's the exact same as what I'm allowing. But now it's I am.
What's the difference between the two? And why? Why are we doing it in two steps.
One is more of that is your command. The eye allow is your freewill statement. So you're saying I allowed this and and then you go into the eye a lot of people will say I am first or as like an affirmation, but it just doesn't. They might just sort of say it almost like I'm saying it because I really want to be this but I really feel it. But I find that to just work really nicely. And again, it's about full, full integration, of knowing that you are that it's an I am consciousness. It goes in accordance with all the laws of the universe, right? law of oneness. So when I wrote the emotional detox, I cross checked with every single law and all of them and made sure that the statements were in line with the laws because sometimes you can put things in a negative or something. And, and so that was really what I was thinking when I was creating those last two steps was about the laws of the universe.
Some thing that jumped out about it for me just even as we're having our conversation today and we're making analogies to to other things, and tying the cleanse into some other things that come up for us is, as I think back to that metta practice, most people, when they start their metta practice, you almost never start with, may I be well, may I be successful? May I be happy? Because you don't, you're afraid to do that. So most people, it's picture someone else may you be well, maybe you be safe. And then and then. And I almost you know, by starting with I allow, I'm allowing it. It's It's It's It's a meta version of May you be safe, may you be happy. Okay, now that I've said it about you, I can say it about myself. So now that I've allowed it, I can believe it. Now I can be happy, I can be prideful, like, whatever, whatever I've allowed. It's
Yeah, and i and i think it's it's speaks to the fact that the best thing we can do for others is to vibrate that ourselves remembering that we're, we're like a mirror. So one of my children struggle with a lot of medical needs when she was growing up. And I was always, you know, nervous Nellie and worrying about her and focusing on her and, and honestly, what really changed things for her and I and helping her to is when I started focusing on my own vibration, because they feel us, right, they can pick up on that reactivity. And once we raise our vibration, what happens is we become very safe, we feel safe to others, they can they, they can let their guard down, because when we're in reactivity, they have to then cope with that, whether they let us know or not. And that coping is usually going to be thinking and burning energy, just like that car I talked about. Now. They're they're trying to figure out, you know, what, thinking, thinking, thinking, and maybe creating stories that aren't true. And so the really that I am is remembering that yes, saying I am. But that is really your most powerful position, you will help more people doing it that way, then you will if you worry about them first, instead you become it. And then they feel it. And then they you will see them, you will see changes. It's quite amazing.
Yeah, I can only imagine that the energy and presence that you then bring to your family and your children. It's just so much warmer and easier to be around and in they'll be a better version of themselves, simply through feeling more free around you. Sherry, Anna, you also have some additional recommending recommendations for helping with anxiety, such as sleep exercise diet, can you share some top recommendations you have for people that they should be thinking about?
Well, exercise is really I mean, it's been proven that it can reduce symptoms pretty significantly, sometimes 50% some of the research, so that's how you can cut your symptoms in half. By incorporating exercise into your life, there's been a lot of research on cardio, vascular kinds of things like running, walking, and now they're starting to really look into the weight training. And using resistance and, and seeing that can be really helpful. Because as you can imagine, when you lift away, you get very grounded, you're really connected to your core. So yeah, I think I think it's kind of essential if you're struggling with anxiety. you absolutely want to have exercise in your life,
for sure. Yeah. And for the listeners, an earlier episode with Nelson. So we share when we talk about weightlifting, we talk about the concept of iron therapy, for that very reason. Because when you're when you're squatting a heavy weight, or you're bench pressing or deadlifting, you can't be thinking about other things. It's it could have really bad results. If you have a heavy weight on your back and you're trying to get down to a deep squat and get back up. You really want to be focusing on the bar. And so there there's definitely Sherry Anna, a level of grounding there for people. Yeah,
yeah, no, that's an important thing. And if you need to, you know, get help if you need to get help getting started. You know, don't be afraid to take some time to invest in yourself a little bit. Get support if you need to,
and where can our listeners find you?
Well, I am at Sheriannaboyle.com
Excellent. So well. We'll have that in the show notes and we'll have a link to emotional detox for in anxiety and The predecessor emotional detox, as we start to wind up, is there anything that we didn't cover that you want to get across to the listeners today? sherina?
No, I just want to again, just thanks for having me on and all your great questions and, and I want people to know I have a radio show. So I always say your emotions matter. processing them matters more. It's kind of my slogan. Right? They and and also I'm, I have some emotional detox practices on the relaxed app. If anyone's interested they are. It's got a double x on the end, relax. So in addition to the books there I have relaxed with a double X with a double x. Yeah,
okay, so we'll get that in the show notes as well for the listeners.
But it's all at sheriannaboyle.com.
It's all at the website. Perfect. Yeah, it was great to have you today that was a great in depth drive through the cleanse and definitely helped cement it, which is at the end of the day, why I love having these conversations with people. Thank you for being on the show.
Thank you for joining us on the pursuit of learning, make sure to hit the subscribe button and head over to our website, the pursuit of learning comm where you will find our show notes, transcripts and more. If you like what you see, sign up for our mailing list. Until next time, your host in learning Clint Murphy