2023-02-02-Gil-Hindrances and Assistances (4 of 5) Restlessness vs Pleasure

6:55AM Feb 4, 2023

Speakers:

Gil Fronsdal

Keywords:

remorse

restlessness

pleasure

place

challenge

thoughts

responding

feel

flow

pause

squeezing

healthy

source

animated

activated

strategies

enjoyable

vitality

upwelling

regret

Good morning, good day. And so we're looking at the strategies for how we live our lives, the strategies for how to be with challenges. And there are healthy strategies and not so healthy strategies. And I'm using the example of the five hindrances for the not so healthy. And the opposite of those hindrances for healthy strategies. And part of the significance of taking this point of view of strategies is that if we take the time to stop and ask ourselves a question, what is my strategy here? What is my approach? How am I trying to get what I want out? I'm trying to take care of myself here. Just that pause and asking that question will maybe get you to see more clearly, what you are doing habitually or unconsciously, or unreflectively. And many times when there are challenges, and if we're a little bit stressed in it, or very stressed, that sometimes we're responding from kind of a gut reaction, instinctual reaction or neurotic reaction that we might have. And we're so involved in that reaction, we don't even know it, we sometimes we could see very easy to lose ourselves lose our, or wisdom or clarity or kind of really tracking what's going on. And then we say things we later regret or we run around in circles. So just simply pausing and checking asking this question is very significant. And then we can at answering that question for ourselves, we can say, well, maybe that's not the best way. And let's see if there's a better way. So the hindrance of today is usually translated or one way, translate is restlessness and remorse. And wrestling is a kind of agitation that is can be very compelling. And they can come with a lot of anxiety can come with a lot of rest, or out of force and power do keep us in its grip. And, and it's often arises out of something we're thinking about, we're with and we and the way that maybe we're having thoughts which are predicting danger or thoughts, something they're challenging, and then how we relate to those thoughts is part of the where part of the power of restlessness arises, and remorse too. And that because in that is too, we kind of squeezed the thoughts we kind of get close in the claustrophobic around them. And that squeezing them, you know, keeps them going and kind of like just keeps flowing and flowing. And then remorse is the same way. Remorse is in Latin means to chew again. And this rumination is chewing again, over and over again, of what we've done, what we regret what we feel bad about. And again, the thinking has gotten close, constricted or tight or in a way that feels uncomfortable. And that discomfort and how we think about these, around the thoughts is part of the fuel that generates more restlessness and more remorse. And when we do things when we're restless, or filled with remorse, we tend not to do them in beauty. We tend it doesn't seem they're not a source of, of working from pleasure, it's very uncomfortable. And, and restlessness is not really a good strategy for dealing with, with the with challenges. It's almost like avoiding it's like running around in circles and being trapped and not knowing what to do and, and just kind of spinning out. And it's almost like the absence of a response. And, or if we do respond, it just kind of confused or, or impulsive or not really attentive to what's happening. If we get lost in remorse, we tend to shut down from a fuller picture of ourselves. We're our whole definition of ourselves now defined by North we have remorseful about and there's a narrowing and we don't have access again to pleasure or to or a sense of the beauty of what to do that's beautiful or So the other way of responding, that's healthy is to be was I'm gonna say this way. So when there's restlessness, and when there's remorse, there's a kind of energy or way that we're animated that where the energy for the activity is in the body, that is off, it doesn't feel pleasant doesn't feel enjoyable. It's maybe tight or hard or constricted or has pressure behind it, the pressure in certain parts of the body, there's a whole other way of being animated. There's a whole other way of where the energy comes from. So the energy is not agitated, restless, not constricted and tight, like Ruben remorse. And that is a kind of energy that, that we're relieved, we're not caught by the thoughts. We're not squeezing them or caught up, we kind of let go of the squeezing that preoccupation that attachment to thoughts being and the animation comes from someplace inside that feels wholesome, that feels like home within us. Someplace inside, that has a kind of pleasantness to it, a kind of pleasure, a kind of beauty to it, a kind of ease. And the the restlessness and remorse is often were very much often in the head in the thoughts and ideas. Sometimes the restlessness can be purely physical, but then maybe it's not to the hindrance of restlessness, it might be more just kind of over activated. Something. But there is this other place source for something very profound about ourselves. It there's another source for how we're animated. It's my way of seeing where our vitality comes from, where active. So rather than being activated, react by reactivity. We are, we are supported by a flow of vitality, we're supported by an upwelling of something that feels good, even if we're taking care of something which is very challenging, huge challenge is very painful. And it doesn't give us a sense of pleasure, the source of the energy, the animation, where we're coming from, it comes from a place of home comes from a place of beauty, comes from a place of maybe we will call it pleasant or enjoyable. And we don't sacrifice that, to take care of things that are terrible in the world, we take care of that horrible in the world. We don't because things are terrible. If we pause to see where we're coming from inside, we say well, maybe I can shift from the agitated, squeezing, tightening, tense place of restlessness and remorse, and come from a place of, of a flow of place of, of, of upwelling, a place of, of maybe inspiration. And for instead of remorse, get caught remorse, when we've done something that we regret or feel bad about it is to the Buddhist approach is to learn from that. And then instead of remorse, to remorse is to re engage, to go forward, dedicated to doing better. And if we identify with something we identify with, the one who is trying to do better, not the one who did something that was not good. And, and so so one of the functions of meditation is not just to make us calm. But to make us more and more familiar with a place inside that sometimes can feel like there's a lot of joy. Sometimes it could feel very peaceful and at home. Sometimes it can feel like there's beauty there inside. Something that feels really right, to wholeness, from which can flow out and amazing energy. We're not passive from that place. But the source of motivation from that place is very different than the sort of source of motivation. When we're squeezed when we're tense when we're tight when we're restless and filled with remorse. So as we learn to meditate, the He is to begin appreciating this alternative source of how we can be animated.

And, and we learn not to sacrifice it. For the strong messages we get from our anxiety or restlessness, or remorse or regrets are the strong messages we get from the pain that comes from the second, third and fourth arrows, we shoot it ourselves. That just makes things even more difficult to get trapped in. Some restlessness arises because we feel trapped by all these arrows, we're swinging, we're shooting. And so to take time, to pause, to ask ourselves, what's the strategy here? Where's my source of activation source of energy vitality coming from? And by activating that word in English, that usually means reactivate? It's kind of like, activated in not healthy way triggered? Or am I? Am I inspired? Am I right? Is it flowing for me? Is it my responding from some depth of inside? So the pause to ask that question. And if we've been meditating for a while, and doing this kind of foundational, the foundations that I'm talking about in this, these weeks about how to work with challenges, maybe it's reasonable, to begin asking that question. And to begin switching over to being that way that's beautiful, being that way that maybe it's closer to the place of pleasure or enjoyment, or at wholeness that we have here. This human life of ours is very important. And it's well worth and appropriate for us to begin discovering a different place from which we're animated. It's kinda like from the different source within, from which we live, the healthy place, and to be able to distinguish that from the unhealthy places that we respond and react to the world. And the world is a better place. If you can come from this deeper source, to come from a place of beauty and come from a place of, of ease and at home, this, it's not selfish to do this. It's actually a contribution to the world, we don't contribute to the world. By worrying, we don't contribute to the world, by being angry and hostile, we don't contribute to the world by diminishing our value by by living under the weight of, you know, I'm a terrible person. We contribute to the world. By putting all that aside enough. Seeing if we can find the very natural place within its nature to have this upwelling place. The upwelling source deep inside, that it has a flow to it has a joy to it has a pleasure to it. And whatever pleasure we can feel, is healing. So if you're going through a big challenge, pause. And if you have the situation allows for it. Go and do something enjoyable. Don't stay in the middle of the challenge, and kind of feel trapped or feel like just kind of like it's spinning out. And more and more. After if you've been in this in a challenging place, psychologically, emotionally for some time, go find something to do that's pleasant. Go find someone's pet that you can pet with or go go do something that brings you a sense of pleasure, do an activity that brings you pleasure, you know, we may be cleaning or cooking or going for a walk. Pleasure is one of the great medicines. It can be one of the greatest escapes and avoidance mechanisms. And that's what you know, the pleasure of addiction does. But hopefully it's not that kind of pleasure you do. You find healthy pleasures that you can do. When you feel over challenged by situations. Try not to stay stuck. Try to engage, engage your vitality, your energy, your capacity to do things to go find the healthy pleasures and then come back and address the challenge from a different place. So Thank you. And I hope that today you can spend some time exploring where you're at where your vitality is flowing from, where how you're animated. And is it coming from a healthy place or not such an inspiring place? Thank you