Episode 52

Steff Gallante22min

Steff Gallante

00:00

Hey, lovely humans. How is life landing for you today? For me, life in the recent days has felt like I'm pretty much being shuffled like a deck of cards or maybe swirling around in a washing machine, there have been a lot of changes, lots of stupid things going wrong, or complications happening like nothing big, but enough in quantity, that I'm over it. In some ways, I'm overwhelmed. And in others, I'm frankly underwhelmed. And at this point in the school year, because I have two school aged kids, and my husband is a teacher, I am feeling parenting burnout for sure. In some situations, I'm motivated and excited. And in others, I am completely lackluster. It also continues to be a really hard time to be in the world with so much conflict, genocide, harm and inequity. So sometimes I feel at a complete loss, others I'm angry, and still in others, there's immense joy. It's been sunny and warmer here in New Jersey, these last few days. And I have been hella grateful for it. And I'm talking about all this because friends and colleagues have shared similar experiences with me, lots of both, and lots of experiencing opposites at the same time. And so I thought this would be a timely conversation to have with you out in the ether, because an important question keeps coming up. What the fuck do we do with ourselves right now? How do we meet this moment? Right, where there's both and and there's complicated and easeful, there are often opposites at the same time, who my simple answer to the complicated question is to slow down to pause and check in more. I really hope that you don't pause or stop listening. As you hear this, I'm hoping that you already knew what I was going to say if you read the description of today's episode. So I'm not just talking to myself here. Because the reality is, this is what is necessary to interrupt burnout, to dig yourself out of overwhelm, and to break the cycles once and for all. Because we know the systems aren't slowing down in a significant way, anytime soon. So remember, it's on us to slow down the runaway train, or at least create a more aligned way for us to be in the world because honestly, trying to keep up at a runaway train pace isn't working for us. And I know what I'm asking you to do is hard to do. I know I know it for my clients experiences. And I know it from my own experience divesting from hustle and grind culture. And the reality is, it is still sometimes hard for me to do now. So for those of you who are new to slowing down, pausing and checking in more often, you know, old habits die hard. And when we're first starting out in this, it is common to often find yourself sliding back into old behaviors more often than you'd like. I know what happened to me, it happens to my clients all the time. It's, it's like our old habits are that headstrong toddler or a dog that you have or that you know somebody who has that just wants to do whatever the EFF it wants to do. And to hell with anything else, even the things that make more sense. And if toddler or dog, you know isn't a relevant example for you, I'm sure you know something, or someone who is like this. And then for those of you who are on a different place in your journey, maybe you've been in the process of divesting from all the societal BS a little longer. You this liberation work is exhausting work. I'm finding that burnout is possible and honestly more prevalent than we realize in liberation work, whether you're liberating yourself or working on behalf of others. And for me, this is where I find old habits rearing their ugly heads. And you know what, like when I'm in the place of hustling, grinding, bypassing and gaslighting myself in the name of doing the hard work Work of liberation. Sometimes I find myself rationalizing this ridiculous behavior as if the cause makes the behavior okay? And it doesn't. For those of you who've been around the show for a while, I know I've talked a lot and often in last year about slowing down, pausing and checking in more often, there's really never a bad time to talk about it. Honestly, we just cannot talk about this enough. But the reason that I'm bringing this up now is because one it's you know, based on how so many of us are experienced the world right now it's timely. And to it's timely because of springs vibe and invitation. So friends we're about to get aligned aligned. Now, when it comes to the dominant energy of spring, we're talking about Kapha energy which can be grounding, stabilizing, peaceful, yes. And on the flip side, also most moisture retaining murky, murky and dull why can I say these things moisture retaining murky and dull, there are so many benefits and gifts to Kapha energy and just like any other energy that is out in the world, it can be completely aggravating depending on how we are experiencing life. This is the time right now early spring to be slowish at times to pause to check in more. And as I mentioned in the last episode, summer is so fucking fast paced with all the doing and enjoying, even if you have less responsibilities or a slower schedule, it is often packed with going and doing. And then fall revs revs up, I still can't talk revs up with its own special fast pace of going and doing, especially with the school year starting for any of you who might be teachers or have school aged kids, college, whatever. And, you know, also getting things done before the year ends. You know, that's a big thing in society. You know, this is the time to be slow ish to take some of that slowness that winter offered us and keep it going. And for real, honestly, like, I always encourage you to have that as an underlying vibe, always, there is never gonna be a time where I'm not talking to you about being slow. And I know for me, I mean, that's just not how I am naturally. So it is a constant reminder for myself as well. This my dears is the time to bask in the warmth of the sun. I know that is a really big summer pastime for a lot of people, myself included. But do it now to you know, this is the time to water those seeds you've been planting in your mind since the winter time, you know, and in your plans that maybe are starting to you're starting to act on or they're starting to take root. You know, this is the time to enjoy but not overdo. This is the time to work and take breaks, this is the time to support and be supported. Now, some of you may frequent some iron beta resources. And some of you may not one of my it's not required right to listen to this show to be involved in my work to you know, follow the things that I'm putting out into the world at all. But I say this because one of my favorite resources is Banyan Botanicals. And, you know, it is just such a wonderful resource for me. You know, they have free things that you could read online, they also have an online store with lots of products that I think are a lot of which I think are wonderful. And, you know, in one of the articles that they have about Ayurveda for spring, they have a beautiful excerpt that I've included here they write when Kapha is tended to. That's the energy of spring, when Kapha is tended to it will offer so many gifts to be attuned to Kapha dosha or Kapha energy during Kapha season is to offer care to the parts of us or a parts of ourselves that feel stagnant by incorporating more light warming, and energizing foods and lifestyle practices. We've been talking about this for a couple weeks now, right? They go on to say to care for Kapha dosha is to be in reciprocity, giving our bodies daily attention and receiving strength, resilience and immunity in return. These acts of self care will leave us with a reservoir of energy and generosity to channel into our lives and out into the world. They go on to say as we offer our attention to Kapha. In these ways, we will find that Kapha offers generous gifts in return. In addition to increasing our resilience and immunity we feel more centered more secure in ourselves more open hearted and more comfortable within our boundaries or with our boundaries. My apologies with our boundaries just like earth and water.

Steff Gallante

09:59

Balanced calm FIP brings abundance and revitalization of our most enduring qualities. When we act with intention to our doshas, we are our energies, we set ourselves up to receive exactly what is available to us with each passing season. In the spring, we may craved may may begin to crave more time out in the world, wanting to move and connect to activate on both a physical and mental level. So my dears, with all this in mind with what you are feeling called to do in the going in the doing it even if you're not feeling called to that moving with intention, pausing checking in with how you're experiencing the moment what you need, you know, noticing what you need in the moment, this is going to be key supporters, as you are out and about doing more or trying to alleviate some of the stickiness you might be feeling. In recent years, for me, tending to myself has become my number one priority. After a deep spiral into burnout, and grief seven years ago, it had to be and the process of telling myself to myself shifts and changes with life, sometimes daily, sometimes weekly, sometimes monthly. These days, I There are times when I find myself abuzz with some frenetic energy. Often, that's the time when I'll scroll more, or flit around my favorite fucking pastime is flooding or I might do some online window shopping, I might go around the house since I work mainly from home from one task quickly to another without actually finishing anything. And often making more of a mess or confusion, let's be real. Or similarly, with my work. I'll flit from task to task or project to project without getting anything towards a complete place. And I have found too, that I have to avoid projects require a lot of mental fortitude. I just don't have it during these times. So I thought I might share some ways that I've met myself recently, in order to settle this just in case this might be helpful to you, or maybe spark some thoughts for yourself. So I'll find myself or force myself or encourage myself. Sometimes I encourage, sometimes I force to look out the window, I'll focus my sight on something in particular, and breathe slowly and deeply. And this is, especially when I'm flooding in my work because there's a window to the side of my desk. Another thing I might do is focus on doing and finishing one small household task like folding a basket of laundry, and then getting back to work. Because I can get easily caught up in something or all the things I might stretch while breathing slowly. And this might be standing it might be lying down, it might be seated. It may be you know, sometimes I have to move fast to get the frenetic energy out before I can move more slowly. Sometimes I dance the damn sillies out. There are times this is the fourth thing I do for myself. There are times where I say to myself, What the fuck are you doing this again. And I cannot tell you how much calling myself out works. The fifth thing I do is I'm a list maker. Oh my gosh, like nothing feels better to me than making a list and nothing feels more like yes, than crossing something off the list. I'm often adding to my list, I make a list of what I need to do. Or if I'm getting distracted by something in particular, I make a list of what I need to do for that thing so that it is down on paper or down on my notes app. And I can deal with it another time I can set it aside then it doesn't have to take up space in my active mind. Sometimes I'll when I'm walking outside, especially if I'm angry walking, I will remind myself to look up at the trees in the sky and down at the flowers that are blooming or a strength train because that helps to settle me sometimes. So you might notice that you've got to like move quickly or erratically and kind of work out some of that frenetic newness, in order to then do something slower and more grounding and that's not uncommon. So don't beat yourself up if you can't go right into something grounding when you're feeling unsettled. It's sometimes we can't know on the days when my sad you know whether it is over the state of the world or over my dad passing unexpectedly when my sad is Big in front and center, sometimes I'll lay down for a little longer, I'll read or watch TV, make sure I move my body somehow not anything too fast or intense, but some movement just to balance things out a bit, right. Last week, in the last episode, we talked about balance, and bring some of the opposing energy in to offer us balance on a regular basis. But especially when we're feeling kind of big and like, you know, saturated in one way. I'll often you know, in this time of, you know, sadness, to do something extra sweet for myself something extra gentle. And then I also make sure I do something that's out of my comfort zone. And this may be simply moving from the comfort of my bed to another place in the house like nothing major, I'm not talking about like pushing myself way outside of my comfort zone, just a little something out of my comfort zone, in that moment for balance. Now, if you're newer to the journey of checking in with yourself, of slowing down of pausing of tending to yourself, the work and all this can start with creating checkpoints in your day. Maybe you, you know, do a check in morning when you wake up noon, and then even at night, when you go to bed. Maybe that's when you check in and kind of ask yourself, Where are you moving too quickly? When are you moving a little too quickly? Or radically? Or without care or presence? Or if it's at night? You know, where did you do this? And then ask yourself, how are you currently experiencing life? And like, what do you need right now for support imbalance. And then doing one small thing tending to yourself in one small way, right. And being mindful then of the next time you're in that situation that you move too slow, too quickly to erratically or without care. And be mindful of adjusting that. Now, I know that establishing checkpoints might feel robotic, and not organic. But sometimes it's what's needed to create the awareness that we're going for and a place to begin from in building this skill. You know, if we're not used to pausing if we are not used to checking in if we are not used to going slower, we have to force ourselves sometimes to do it. That's how new skills begin. Not forcing ourselves from a place of guilt, shame or judgment at all. Just a reminder, I said I was going to do this not doing it got to do it right. In time, you'll begin to do this more instinctively. And you'll also respond instinctively as well, which is really cool. And those of you who have more experience with this, we'll find that you're probably doing this more instinctively and responding instinctively, as well. And you may also notice that you need to input some checkpoints into your day, maybe you haven't been doing that as much. Maybe there's a certain time of day or in a certain instance when you need to check in with yourself to adjust for slowness or speed I should say, you know to build in a pause in case there is a certain place where you are bulldozing or bypassing yourself. Or maybe your work is noticing where the resistance is because the reality is no matter where we are in our journey of this, there is resistance, there is friction resistance. And also maybe noticing if and are where discomfort lies when you are slowing when you are pausing when you are checking and or acting on what needs to be done. And consider for yourself like what shift is needed here. I know for me, even where I am on my journey. My inner dialogue is often around what I need to get done in the fact that I'm not getting enough done. In any in all areas of my life in case you're wondering. This, for me requires constant attention and talkback and reminding. It's a lot. And sometimes for real I have to just walk away from myself and do something else to distract my mind or just tell my mind to shut the EFF up. Because it's just too much. And that is okay. Right? That's okay, if you find yourself having to treat yourself a little bit abrasively in the reminder of Hello, what did you say you were gonna do? Or Hello here you are again. But again, you know doing it with care. Right being okay, abrasive with care if that makes sense? I'm sure it does. But if it doesn't let me know and I can explain it differently. But I mean like how is that for a look into the inner workings of my brain?

Steff Gallante

19:42

Sometimes we have to defend ourselves gently and sometimes we have to tend to ourselves a little bit you know, I'm kind of but remember the ways that you tend to yourself can be small, they can be simple and short in time. Variety is great if that is your jam, you know, especially this time of year and if God Returning connections is really what speaks to you. Here you go, gently tend to your inner soil, run the soil through your fingers, you know, imaginarily, gently, imaginary ly making up words here, pat the dirt over the seeds, you've chosen to plant water. You know, son, these seeds that are in your mind or that are, you know, you're planting in your work or in your life, talk to them, baby them, love on them. Celebrate the growth you see and be patient during the process when you can't see a thing happening, but you are trusting that it's growing. And then adjust your methods as the seed or sprout needs. We've got to adjust. We've got to be flexible. Feel free to be disappointed or sad when your seed doesn't take. But I know that you're not going to dig up the whole garden in frustration, right? I mean, you might think about it. And so like if you were actively planting seeds outside in the garden if you wouldn't dig that up outside, out of frustration, you know, don't do that in your inner garden either. Listen, I'm talking to myself as much as I'm talking to you, believe me. And friend, don't forget, you can always meet with me. In a release the pressure call to hash all this out in real time. We'll discuss how you're currently currently experiencing life, some mindset shifts and practices that are curated for you with consideration to your responsibilities, your available time and your energy. And also you can check out the disruptors guide to self care. It's a free resource on my website for more ideas on pausing to care for yourself. The link to both of these are in the show notes. My friends, that's all I have for you this week. Please, as always, always a standing invitation to reach out to me and let me know how this lands and until next time, please please please be kind and gentle to yourself just as you would to those who are most precious to you whether that is a human, animal, baby or a plant. I would love to hear your thoughts so please share them with me about anything I've discussed in this episode. So for sure, reach out and share and if you've been loving the show, I ask that you please share it with your nearest and dearest leave or a review or a rating. It is so helpful. And my friends above all else remember you are a badass and you are enough now go be your favorite self and be well

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