Hey, welcome to episode 10. We are in double digits, baby. This is so freaking exciting. And I'm so glad to be here with you on this ride. This episode is airing in my birthday week, which makes it even more special. My birthday is February 25. And if you're new around here, there are two things you should know. One, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. And two, you have to know that my birthday is a big freaking deal to me. So please celebrate me this week. And if you're listening to this after the 25th No worries, you can still celebrate me any and every day. Yeah, I said it. And it's no wonder I feel this way. My dad always tells me that I am a true Jamaican always up for a celebration. Anyway, today we are jumping into a conversation about yoga philosophies ethical practice, or Yama, a stadia which translates to non stealing. The true observance and practice of stadia Really though, means not taking more than you need or that is freely offered. Ultimately, a stay a cause us to mindfully choose what we consume, take need and desire beyond food and materialistic things here. I think this is so important so that you can cut out the bullshit and live more authentically on your terms. Because the reality is, with how many messages we get from society with all of the processes and the procedures and the systems that are in place, they are stealing so much goodness from us. And it is time for us to disrupt it, all of it. And if you're already disrupting it to feel or continue to be resourced in your effort. The problem and the shift we need to talk about is that dominant culture tells us more and bigger and faster or better, and there's value in possessing more capital. Now I'm not talking about the bare minimum of food, housing and basic necessities or the simple human right to equity, in access to resources and safety. I'm talking about the obsession with having more, doing more being more as big and as fast as possible. And honestly, as I said before, this concept goes beyond materialistic things. Because sadly, the belief that bigger and more and faster or better, really is on all levels of our existence, even with our relationship with ourselves, and others. And it's present in how we walk through the world, not only in our identities, but how we share ourselves with the world. And the reality is this flawed, yet Ultra prevalent concept of the bigger, better, faster, more. It's making us feel for possibly more things. But for things that I'll talk about today, it's making us feel like the best and only way is in constant forward movement and always striving. It's making us feel disconnected from one another very much alone and disconnected from ourselves. And as you could imagine, there are tons of problems here and the madness needs to stop because all of these feelings limit how deeply we can grow, and ultimately what we can receive and they all lead back to the same thing. Stealing joy, time, energy and ease in the present moment. So friend, if you're ready, let's jump in. When it comes to the feeling, like the best and only way is in constant movement forward and always striving. Yes, our brains are made to think and our bodies are meant to move, but not constantly and surely, not solely in the name of striving and achieving. And honestly, this idea is very rigid, and it's deeply entrenched in the practice of setting goals and pushing to achieve them at all or any cost. Let's be real, forward motion and what we perceive to be forward motion are two different things. Not all steps we take in the name of forward motion are actually propelling us forward. Some are in reality actively moving us backward, or they make us stand in place or move radically, because they're not aligned or what is supportive. And I want to be clear that there is nothing wrong with making mistakes experiencing failure, moving backward, or in any other direction other than forward or with standing still. But it's when these things happen due to our efforts to push forward at all costs. That is the issue. always striving and remaining in constant quote, unquote, forward motion forces us to miss out on slowing down, pausing on resting on being in the present moment, and present in open space. And in the space between. We're not machines, and there's no machine that can sustain a high powered fast pace, 24/7 365 days a year, it's not possible, you know, this, you know, your car, your computer, your air conditioner, all of the machines in your life could not run hours on end at max capacity every day, they need to slow down, they need periods of rest. And you also know that you do too. But somehow, we don't or don't do it really as often as we need to. And the reason is that this rigid way is kind of keeping us from that. And this rigid way, because of the its rigidness is not soft or fluid. It doesn't need or leave, I should say it doesn't leave room, to build agency for intuition to come through. It doesn't leave room for us to feel our way through life, or for flexibility based on life life thing. And it surely is not going along with our carefully laid plans every step of the way. It certainly does not allow for the ability to problem solve and recalibrate when challenges arise. As a result of this rigidness of this lack of softness and fluidity, redirecting or backtracking are thus viewed as wastes of time or indications of failure, which is a no no in society. So to avoid this, we push harder, we go faster, we do more, and maybe even cut corners, all in the name of commitment, being disciplined and achieving. We feel or we're made to feel like we must always have an answer a plan for the right next step. And that we cannot stop. All of this is complete bullshit. Because it's in the slowing down in the pausing in the resting that we create space. To inquire, consider be creative and determine what needs to happen next, the step forward that will actually be aligned and sustainable. We're in such a rush to get where we're going. Because we think we'll finally reach happiness relief and enoughness if we just get there already. And then we miss out on the space. And the reality is that the peace, the happiness, the slowness, the success, the ease, the joy exist in the pause, they are present in rest. And we realize how present they are in our life. When we slow down, pause, rest and be in the space. We miss out on all of this in the striving. And the reality is to that success is not a linear process. And there is not one right or Sherway I'm actually not really sure why society would have us believe this. Life in reality is very much playing out like the most awful roadtrip on Google Maps that is full of traffic and missed exits and new routes. That's all happening in real time on all kinds of terrain and in all types of weather. Only there isn't a satellite detecting upcoming issues, or a computer program problem solving for you and keeping you on the fastest route to your destination. And I want to be clear, it's not that life is awful. But I think our perception and expectation is that the road should be straight and flat. But that's simply not reality. In life, the fastest route and trying to be on the right route often lead to burnout, and a deep MB emptiness if we finally get to our destination
so I need to say in case you need to hear this, it's okay to choose a sustainable way A forward that honors your identities, your experiences, your wants, and needs that may be a little slower than the speed society says is right and true. It's okay to choose a way forward that does not look like others, or the one that society says is the one you're supposed to be on. It's okay to choose a new route or decide to cancel the trip altogether if you decide to, without any need to justify your reasons, or be made to feel some type of way. So my points of inquiry for you when it comes to striving and achieving and being in constant, quote, unquote, forward motion? What if you stopped robbing yourself of precious time doing things that don't matter? Or are a result of avoidance fear and scarcity? What if you stopped robbing yourself of time or energy pushing forward procrastinating or agonizing over something you don't want to do? Or deal with? Is there ever a point you reach? In your striving for success? Where it's enough? Are you ever enough? And once you get to your goal, are you really, truly deeply fulfilled? Proud, settled? Or are you actually chasing a status that is empty? Where are you stealing, contentment, pride, fulfillment, time and space from yourself? I'd love to know the answer. So if you're willing to share, please reach out. And friends remember our non attachment to time and, you know, an expectation that we have to have the answers in the certain timeframe. Let this be a constant state of inquiry. The second problem that we're discussing today of society's obsession with having more, doing more, being more as big and as fast as possible, is that it's leaving us feeling disconnected from one another. And this is happening in many ways. It's forcing us into competition with one another, whether we realize it or not, and often in some underlying and even twisted ways that really shouldn't be happening. At home during childhood, it may have been vying for adult caregivers attention, love, time and resources. And let's be honest, some of this behavior may still be happening in your adult life, on some level. And at work, even within your teams with people who love respect and work well with, it's doing the best work, maybe working the most hours, or being the most available or being the most willing to take on more even when you've already got too much to do. So that you can be the point person, the person who's counted on praised or who is top of mind for the raise or promotion. Whether you realize it or not. This may be happening. It's in status, having the best home living in the best trendiest area, having the nicest or newest car vacation, and vacationing in the most luxurious or hottest spot and the list goes on. Maybe it's different for you. But I bet you it's there. All because these are the markers of society success. And it 100% leaves us feeling less than if we don't meet these marks, and can lead to feelings of jealousy and envy. And it creates a space or a wall between us that stands in the way of making true deep connections with others. And what's really scary, is it often leads to the desire to have shit or do things that we don't really want deep down. All in order to be accepted, successful, right enough and loved and worthy of our own love and acceptance. If you're really being friggin real right now. And if we're being really real, the points of inquiry we need to consider here are How can you be in right relationship with someone who you view as the person who stands in the way of your money, things status and love you receive? Can you really have true relationships with coworkers, neighbors and loved ones devoid of jealousy, envy and competition with undercurrents of me versus them energy? Are the things you're striving to have an experience truly what you want and need or are they based on society's standards and not being different? Where are you stealing from yourself true connections, being in right relationship with others things and resources around you and most of all being in real life right relationship with you and what you truly need and desire. Why? If you stopped stealing, or adopting other's dreams, goals, objectives and ways of being that aren't a good fit for you, because you're too scared to live in your truth. I know Fred, that was a zinger, right? This takes us to our third problem of society's obsession with having more, doing more being more and being as big and as fast as possible. Right, coming from this conversation of competitive competitiveness, and being disconnected from one another. Another problem is, is leaving us feeling alone. And this is also happening for a variety of reasons. First, we don't have time to stop and authentically connect with others about what we're going through. How often do you see somebody in passing? Ask them how they're doing and literally pass them by before you hear their answer. It's not you, you're not an asshole. It's just a product of what is in society these days. And I'm not sure when this happened. But the question How are you has become a greeting that is synonymous with Hi. And in my humble opinion, they're not synonyms. And another question for you. How often are you asked, how are you? And you reply with fine when you're not fine, or something like same shit different day. And everyone nods their head in commiseration, because they're right there with you. And then like that, it's on to whatever matter is at hand. There is so much shit wrong with these scenarios. We're not building connections in the smallest of ways which are really significant by the way. And we're bypassing ourselves and one another all of the time and this has become normal this absurdity has become normal. Another layer to this is society's focus on individualism and self sufficiency. As a result, we have a self consciousness around the challenges, shortcomings and failures we face because we have a perception that others are more successful and are experiencing an easier time than we are. So this keeps us isolated. It is quite common friend that if you are connected with others, that you are hiding parts of yourself for fear of outing yourself, your messiness, your deep fears and shame. So you're not actually truly connected. Also, American societies individualistic mindset also forces us to uphold facades, facades to avoid judgment, ridicule, rejection, and shame. It's common to feel like you can't say no or yes, if you want to. You can't ask for help. You can't ask for clarification or for change. It has us hiding what makes us different and beautiful. Squeezing ourselves into boxes too small for our amazingness wearing hats we don't want to but feel guilty not wearing and overcompensating for our quote unquote, shortcomings that really were determined by society and in countless situations where people in power actively upholding harmful discriminations. Friends, points of inquiry here. What relationships do you have, especially important ones, the ones that you say you could not survive without that are actually veiled in some way, by your own doing or as a result of society's practices? What if you lifted the veil? What would happen? What good could happen? And where are you stealing support from yourself? Or an opportunity to be yourself truly unapologetically and unfiltered in all your amazingness and in all your need? Another doozy right? coming in. My friend. The last problem we're discussing today in terms of society's obsession with having more, doing more, being more and being as big and as fast as possible, is how it's making us feel disconnected from ourselves. ourselves. We are going through so much. The time we are living in is completely unprecedented.
And yet we have to keep bypassing ourselves and even gaslighting ourselves because there's no time to be vulnerable or acknowledge what is our needs and there's no time to actually address our needs. We are trying to force practices and ways of living on ourselves that society says are right and good, that we see others doing who, quote unquote, seem to be happy and healthy. But they're not working for us, us specifically, me specifically. And so then we wonder what's wrong with us? Don't we? So on so does this sound so can have this and do this? What's wrong with me? What's more, we have no patience for the process of life to unfold, for planting of ideas and new practices. For the germination phase, the sprouting and growth, we assume if we're not seeing the change shift or growth happening, especially immediately that it's not, we assume that we are not doing the right thing or working hard enough, especially if it's been days, weeks and months since we started the shift. And all this is also bullshit. Everything takes time, way more than we expect. And yes, some things that we're doing maybe wrong, and need to be recalibrated. But that doesn't mean the whole thing is wrong or not working. It can be really hard to break these cycles, especially with so much on our plate. But by continuing to be disconnected from ourselves, we will be limited in how deeply we can grow and ultimately what we can receive. I said this before, and I'll say it again. By continuing to uphold these practices of doing what society says we should or what is working for others, by bad, bypassing ourselves or gaslighting ourselves will continue to steal much needed joy, time, energy and ease from ourselves and ultimately from others. The truth is, friend, burnout is a real problem right now. Overwhelm is a real problem, low energetic capacity and bandwidth are real problems right now. And the answer is not creating more efficiency or multitasking and better, the answer is slowing down, pausing, resting, creating space that stays spacious, and learning to be present in the space between, between breaths between emails between meetings, between a question and an answer between a snarky comment and your reaction between steps in between. So my point of inquiry for you here is where are you stealing joy from yourself? time, energy and ease from yourself? What if you stopped bypassing yourself and started to treat yourself with the same love and compassion you do? Your plants, animals and cherished loved ones? How were they all benefit from you loving on yourself the same way you love on them? What have you stopped forcing yourself into self care practices and ways of living that aren't aligned for you? What would change what would no longer be? What would be? And then how would your relationships with others shift? How would you feel less alone? How would you feel more connected to yourself? You may be nodding your head and have been hell yessing me all over the place in this episode. The reality is a Stayer calls us to mindfully choose what we consume, take need and desire, all beyond materialistic things, and on all levels of our existence. And you might be all in on making some shifts. But yet there are questions, there are concerns there are doubts, you may still need some help with the next online step, which is completely normal. You're not meant to know how to do everything. And that's what I'm here for. And here, I'm reminding you that support is here for you in the personalized self care plan to get really clear on what's working and what's not in your life. And we then can determine more aligned practices to honor your desires, your energy and your capacity, so that the steps that you take are sustainable. It'll honor you in what is right now. And we will uncover the truth, the hard stuff and all the beauty that is happening too. In addition, you'll have access to one month of my signature mentorship program, the holistic self care collective that includes weekly coaching to support you in helping you integrate your new practices and navigate the challenges because they're going to arise right as well as livestream, yoga and Zumba classes, recorded practices and specialty workshops all for you to engage in, in a way that feels aligned for you. And if you need to leave at all, that's fine. You can engage with whatever you want however you want. So my friend if you're done stealing, joy, time, energy and ease from yourself, if you're all the way done with allowing society's ridiculousness to take its toll, and steal from you. Let's work together to disrupt the status quo and create a better way forward for you to mindfully choose what you are consuming. What you are doing, that allows you to do your important work in the world in a resourced way. You can find all the info and sign up at www dot Steff gallante.com/holistic-self-care-collective. I've included the link in my show notes as well. Friend, remember there is power and clarity and slowing down, pausing and resting and you've got seven ways you can rest physical, mental, sensory, creative, emotional, social and spiritual, with tons of options in between them. Standing still backward, lateral and zigzag movement in your pursuit of success are okay. You are worthy of true connections where you do not have to be in competition or hiding parts of yourself. It is your divine right to honor who and how you are period. Your dreams and needs matter. And you are in control of mindfully choosing what you consume, take need and desire. Until next time, my friend please be kind and gentle to yourself just as you would those who are most precious to you, whether that's a human, animal, baby or plant. I'd love to hear your thoughts about the support and guidance I've provided in this episode. So please feel free to reach out and share I mean it and if you've been loving the show, please share it with your nearest and dearest and leave a review or rating. My friend I'm so grateful for you take good care and stay connected. You are a badass and you are enough. Be well
