Hey there, welcome to episode eight. We're in the first full week of February. And I feel like there's a different vibe in the air. While February is a full month of winter, the essence at least here in New Jersey feels different. It's almost like we're beginning to shake off some of that winter slumber as we look forward to warmer temperatures and more sunlight. I mean, at least here in New Jersey, we are hitting highs of 45 to 50, even mid 50s.
This week. And so it's definitely a thaw compared to where we were a few weeks ago. And even though we're not yet at the glitch between seasons, right, which is the two weeks at the end of winter, that takes us into spring, and that happens between each season. February definitely still feels like a transition.
And I've been thinking about this, like, Why was I feeling this way? Where am I coming from with this. And I started to realize, you know, maybe it's the fact that the pressure is off, because December is full of pressure with the end of the year, tons of holidays, reflecting on the last 12 months deciding what you want to leave behind and what you want to shift into the new year, all amidst the darkest days, while Winter is calling us to Slow the fuck down and enjoy sloth mode in every way possible. Lots of pressure, especially if you are taking on or engaging with winters call, which doesn't necessarily align with society's call except for that last week of December where society deems it's okay to slow down, right. And then January began and society then sprinted out the gate with you know, the New Year New you BS, you know, full of pressure to hit the ground running with your perfect plan for exercise for dieting for self improvement, and declutter your decluttering your house and surely other things too, right? Let's be real. Some of you may have taken your time easing into the new year, in that first week of January. But I heard from many listeners that unless you were able to take some time off of work, it was really hard to maintain that slow vibe into the second week. And I know for me, I put a lot of pressure on myself to keep sloth boating where I could, which really defeated the purpose of the recharge that was supposed to be happening. And definitely going to have to have a different game plan next year for sure. And most likely not even a game plan for that time period. But a different plan of action leading up to it. And honestly, that starts from now. But I digress. So here we are in February, right, the bombardment of New Year New you messaging definitely has decreased. And we're kind of settled back into our schedules. I know for me, sometimes it could feel like after the break period at the end of December and the start of January that heading into the new you know, the the schedule, even if it was the same as it was before the break. Sometimes it feels like you're kind of getting smacked in the face with it a little bit. But I feel like at this point, at least for me, I've kind of settled into the schedule, and also the variability within the schedule. And you know, the stuff that happens this week, as I'm recording this, one of my kids had a stomach bug. So like there's always something that's happening even within the monotony of the schedule. And so some of you may be feeling like the word grind is more applicable. And those of you who have been in space with me before, you know how I feel about that word, right? Because I feel like like, Why? Why must we grind through life like nothing about grinding feels really good in the sound, except for you know, I mean? It's a way of dancing.
That was particularly fun that when
I was younger, I mean, I'm just saying, I hope you're laughing. But anyway, I feel as though you know, like even the messaging that's out there in February, that was the same in January, it's kind of with less noise and less pressure than in January. It's as if there's a little bit more breathing room. And I know for me, it's made a big difference for sunrise to be early earlier and sunset to be later. It's made a huge difference. So I have to ask you, how is your heart today? How are you experiencing life these days? Like for real? What's present for you as you move through life in February. I'm recording this on the eighth. It's going to drop today behind
me because of the sickness that was happening. I meant to ask you this earlier this week, but You know, who knows when you're even listening to it? And if timing even matters, but still no matter what, how is your heart?
How are you experiencing life? What has February been like for you? And if you're listening to this, you know, later on in life, you know, after February, still, same questions apply. I want to say a big thank you, before we jump into the shit we need to talk about, I want to say a big thank you to those of you who reached out after listening to last week's episode, where I shared my personal and vulnerable stories about the lessons I've learned. And that Aha, as I've had in the last year, February is my birthday month. And so along with the end of the year, I tend to do a lot of reflecting this time of year and, you know, not necessarily deciding but inquiry of shifts that I want to continue to make as I head into the next birth year. And whether you know, me personally or not, it means so much to me, that one you listen, here, eight, you're coming, you know, here in this space with me, and that you share with me, those of you who have reached out, you know, the fact that these things resonate, and you share it with me. It just, it's it's I appreciate it so much. And I can't even I don't even have the words to adequately describe how I feel about this. So it's just so you know, really big, really big feelings that I'm feeling right now. So thank you so much. And as we head into today's into today's episode, the shift we need to talk about, really, this month, I should say I want to give you a quick cap, recap or not not a cap, but a look forward into what is coming up. So we're going to continue to talk about rest, that's really going to be a topic for the entire year, it's not going to stop, we are going to dive into self love this month. I mean, come on. I couldn't help it. But we are going to go below the surface of bubble baths and chocolates and roses and all the other things society is telling us that self love is this month. Beyond the slogan sweatshirts that I told you last episode that I really love. We're really gonna go deep into your relationship with yourself, fulfilling yourself barriers to self love and how all of this affects your authentic connection to yourself and within your communities. We're going to continue our study of the Yamahas, which are our ethical disciplines, our sense of integrity, our focus on our behavior and how we conduct ourselves in life. And last month, we explored the first two which are Ahimsa, non violence, non harming through actions, thoughts, words, ways of living, and living a Ahimsa is a constant state of awareness and inquiry of if your behavior is causing harm or injustice towards yourself or towards others. And so, you know, we were talking a lot about gentle love and kindness and action. And we also talked about Satya truth, which was to speak the truth and to live your truth. It's an understanding that dominant culture represents one narrative that's not necessarily right, or the narrative for all and creating space for all open and authentic conversation, learning and unlearning and understanding. And the prompts that are offered to you for consideration when it comes to Satya or truth towards yourself is, you know, like, what if you stop lying to or spiritually bass bypassing or gaslighting yourself? So if you were around for the last few episodes, I would always love to hear what comes up for you. And if you're new to the conversation, you know, go ahead and sit with those questions I just asked or you can go ahead and listen to the last few episodes. And this month, we are going to take that inquiry will well what we've uncovered in our exploration, and we're going to dive into two more and examine our relationship with a stadia which is non stealing. Beyond thievery, right? It's not taking more than what you need or what that is freely offered, as well as Brahmacharya, which is energy management. And you know, we are going to go way deep because that's how we roll here. And I'm hoping that it's going to be going to places that you don't expect, because that just makes me so happy. We're also going to get clear on what you want to preserve from winter and what needs a final clearing as we head into March and into spring. But to start things off today, we are talking all about leaning into the energy of this past Sunday's full moon in leo to pause, reflect and release and then an important conversation about self trust. So I I don't know about you and what your calendar status is like if you use a planner, one that's written one that's digital, maybe I have no idea what you use. I use the many moons planner. It's an actual paper planner. by Sara faith goddess dinner, I'm pretty sure I just butchered her name. Her handle, though is at go t t e s s on IG. And I just love all the rich guidance that this planner offers based on the moon cycle and the entries that she compiles for each of the full moons. That's often from the work of folks from the LGBTQ plus and bipoc communities. And this past Sunday, in case you're not aware, on February 5, we moved into the full moon in leo and let me tell you, I was feeling some weird ass energy from the Thursday before and I don't know why it didn't occur to me to notice and I know sometimes you know out there it's always like, you know when stuff goes wrong and out there in the world we're always like, is it a full moon because not always bad things happen? It could just be weird stuff and it was just weird for me could be having to do with the universe and it could just be completely unrelated but shit. Holy moly, friends. I was really relieved to read the guidance in the many moons planner that was written by Rachel true who's a tarot reader. And her handle is at true Rachel true. So at t ru ERACHELT ru E. And in her teaching, she writes and I'm quoting here, this full moon in leo compels a shift in focus with or without our consent. Yeah, it was shifting with me and totally did not get my consent. But anyway, certain full moons can feel like mini eclipses, and this Leo Moon is no exception. In parts of the Northern Hemisphere, there is the tiniest glimpse of a thaw in Winter's icy hold. Even through the frost, you can sense an ascent on the horizon. Now is the time to lean into any subconscious callings to pause, reflect and release. The contrasting fire of our Leo moon to this season's cold energetic embrace creates a space for transformative and of course, magic. For some this can be a controlled burn what needs to be severed and surrendered to the season question mark for others and aggressive banishment of old behavior, thoughts patterns and or people are needed? Will you let go or will you keep being dragged along? The difference between our fiery baser desires our higher vibe and our loftier pursuits are highlighted by the full moon glow. Leo energy is often a reminder that our best self relies less on the loud, empty roar of pure ego and pride, and more on our true heart and intentions. You must be strong enough to look your personal demons in the eye. without believing there lies, personal strength and confidence find better mooring, when pride is anchored in tangible connections and actual accomplishments. For this Full Moon, I encourage you to root yourself in the truth of your authentic beauty and ability to evolve under the guidance of this warm and wild lunation. Commit to your transformation. And quote. It's so good, right. And that's why I quote it because I could not have written it nearly as good as this. So I want to share that I've got a lot of notes on this. Because this was so rich write the first things first, you'll have to get clear on how you're feeling about what comes up in terms of your consideration of Rachel's questions, and they were what needs to be severed and surrendered to the season? Is there an aggressive banishment of old behavior, thoughts patterns and or people needed? Will you let go? Or will you keep being dragged along?
And so when comes to these questions note, where is the clarity? Where's the excitement? Where's the doubt? Where's the guilt or shame? Where's the relief? Because some of those things, maybe all of them are going to come up at some point. And I mean, I can't speak for you. But I know for me, especially when it comes to people who are no longer serving me patterns that I've held things, you know, certain teachings or ways that have been given to me by people who I love or once cherished. Those can be hard to part with. So it may be really hard to be with what comes up hard enough to make you feel overwhelmed and like the better route is to abort the mission altogether. And if that's what you're feeling, I totally get it. I love getting clarity but it is hard as hell to sit in and then walk through the murky or the hard and get to the light at the end of the tunnel. Especially when you Can't even see that light. But you have to do it anyway, right you have to sit in it, you've got to then walk through this murky stuff, even if you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, because if not, you won't break the cycle. And instead of feeling refreshed, heading into spring, you're going to feel dull, lethargic, and even anxious or unsettled. And I don't know about you, but I've had enough of all that stuff lurking around. Second note, Rachel tells us it's important not to squelch negative emotions and push them into the recesses of our being, because this will simply cause deeper isolation, disconnect and dis ease or disease. The only way forward, then is to pull up the stuff and toss it out to freakin unburden yourself, you've got to use the fire, the courage, action and passion from this Leo moon to set shit on fire now need to say right, please don't actually set it on fire unless it's in a very controlled and safe manner. I'm not advocating arson here. So please hear me when I say this. This may look like writing down any doubts or roadblocks as you move forward with this deep unnecessary shift and burning that piece of paper, right? It could look like you envisioning these things that you need to that you're having doubts or roadblocks with and envisioning them in clouds that pass you by in the sky, it may be connecting with your breath, imagining that on the inhale, you're bringing in the fire, courage, action and passion from this Leo moon. And on the exhale, releasing the doubts and roadblocks to you moving forward. You can even call them by name. This will help you to clear space and reclaim energy necessary to have the room and vitality for the journey and all you want to happen. So maybe to certain or just, you know, consider what practice might be useful or aligned for you now. And we had to the third note, spend time with the idea that this shift is going to happen. This could be writing plans, thoughts, words and actions for creating the shift. Or it could be envisioning all the ways the shift could come to pass. Or it could be speaking words, phrases, or sentences that convey your commitment to showing up to this, any of these practices will inscribe this commitment on your heart. And that connection will be so important for sustaining you, when inevitably doubts creep in or when challenges or stress arise. Because you know, right, you know that the road will not be straight and flat. It never is. So the key is to equip yourself with tools like these and of course, other tools as well, to help you through it. And remember, the support you need and your process are going to be specific to you. In my mentorship group, the holistic self care collective, we're going to be figuring out each person's needs and process so that they are clear on how to sustainably support themselves based on their natural energy dominance imbalances that they're currently experiencing, and their current capacity in order to guide us as they do this kind of clearing out shift and deciding you know what steps they want to take moving forward, because without considering these factors, it would be like throwing spaghetti at the wall just sticking with seeing what sticks. And sometimes that's good, right? Sometimes you need to do that, especially if you like shit, I have no idea how to move forward from this. But when we come to our self care practices, you will come from an aligned way. If you're taking into account your natural energy dominance, the imbalances you're experiencing in your current capacity, because that's what's going to be sustainable. So this is always there is always an open invitation for you to join us in the collective. The first step would be for you to complete a personalized self care plan, which will give you the answers to those three factors I was just talking about about your energy imbalances and your current capacity. And then that's going to get you started on creating clear steps and align practices through this process of uncovering and clearing out and transforming. And besides all of this, the other tool and arguably the most important tool to equip yourself with as you get clear, and as you get started on this transformation is self trust. Because without it, the best laid plan will fail. Once the doubts challenges and stress arrive. So as we begin this part of our conversation, you know, I'm going to ask you a question. What is your relationship with self trust? I wish I could see your face and hear your reaction. For me, the short answer is it's complicated. And the longer answer is it depends on the situation I'm not gonna lie. And friend, if you have trust issues with yourself or others, I get it if you've been burned hurt or mistreated in the past that is going to affect your ability to trust others and also deeply impact your ability to connect with your inner knowing your personal needs and desires. aka your self trust. Right and you better believe that those past experiences play a part in your right now experiences. I've been working on self trust over the last year, especially in my business but also within myself thanks to my most annoying amaze amazing business coach Brooke Monaghan and her consistency and asking me what would happen or what would you do if you trusted yourself? Anytime that I'm questioning how to proceed with something, and you can follow Brooke on Instagram at Briggs Monahan B. R. IgG. S. Monaghan and beyond building self trust, I'm working on the ability to discern when my gut is speaking, or when my anxiety or fear is, and oh my gosh, friends, let me tell you talk about murky territory. Exploring though exploring your relationship with self trust is important to do any time of year. And winter though, offers the perfect energy for supporting the cause. You might be wondering why, well, here it is. During this time, nature has provided us with a landscape of calm, quiet, stillness, dormancy from which to enjoy a delicious sloth mode and embark on a journey of you know it reflection deep rest recalibration, rejuvenation and space to imagine and dream. And if the landscape nature created for us in the calmness, the quiet the stillness and dormancy, was it enough for you to get started on these practices. Nature literally thrusts us into darkness, both in shorter daylight, and more cloudy and sometimes snowy days to really push us towards these practices. And so my friend, what is really important to realize is that self trust is the foundation of authentically showing up to reflection, deep rest, recalibration, rejuvenation and space to imagine and dream. So we need self trust, in order to engage in Winter's invitations, because without self trust, those practices will simply be either surface level, or something that you don't engage in at all. And if it is surface level, it won't be long lasting, or deeply serving. And so here are some examples of what may be happening in case you're wondering like, Oh, where do I stand in all this, you might recognize in your reflections at the end of last year, or as you head into this year, that some things haven't been working, and you need to trust yourself, to acknowledge them to find the root cause and determine a better way forward, which can not only take a lot of work, but be really scary. The second thing that might be happening, the process of recalibration requires so much inquiry and action in order to actually enact the shifts necessary for alignment. And you may not be resourced to do that. Right. On the other end of the spectrum, though, you may realize that some things are working and are serving you that you'll need to act in self trust to continue forward. Because we want change to happen. And when it happens, we're like holy shit is happening. Can I continue doing this? Right. And when it comes to rest, if you don't trust yourself, that you can rest and still show up to life, that you are worthy of rest, and also will not fall behind. If you rest, you won't do it. Or when you do it, it'll most likely feel forced or awful or not worth it. And what happens after that, you will probably avoid it altogether until you hit the wall are forced to stop by the universe because, well, you know how that works. We go we'll go until the universe collapses in the face, it makes us stop right.
And for rejuvenation, to be real for new vigor to be given to something because that's what rejuvenation is. It can't be slapped on top of beliefs, thoughts, words or actions that aren't working or supportive. A clearing out needs to happen for there to be space for the new vigor, to be welcomed in and for it to be held and for it to take root. And when it comes to true imagining and dreaming to happen without us completely mucking things up for ourselves, we have to trust ourselves, we have to create space for uninhibited imagining to occur the way children do, and dream without being dominated by your decision and declaration of whatever is impossible. And we have to trust ourselves that we can indeed step forward towards what we want, what we need and what we desire that we are worthy of and can make it so and so the bottom line is to meet all of winter's invitations in a deeply authentic and attuned way. You have to have a firm belief in your reliability in your truth and your ability and your strength. You have to live like live in self trust. In the belief that you can let go of shit that's not serving you that you can choose new shifts and actually take steps to move into them. And the cool thing is, especially if you're new to this conversation, if you're new to this space, if you if you haven't been in practice with winter's invitations, or you haven't been focused on cultivating self trust, don't worry, you're not behind, you're never behind. Right. And the good thing though, is that February itself offers an important essence needed for exploring self trust. Essentially, February is the space between deep winter slumber and the awakening of spring. Right, it's the space and time when we have had a month and a half of tending to our nervous system. Not that that's all we need for the year. But now we can use all that we gained from reflecting, resting, recalibrating, rejuvenating, imagining and dreaming, while also being supported by continuing these very practices. Plus tapping into the full moon and Leo energy to begin making a blueprint for our plans in a deeply nourished, resourced and passionate way. This is going to be a big part of our community circle this Friday, February 10. And I'd love for you to join me. And in case this is your first time hearing about it. The community circle is our monthly gathering for disruptors like you to be cared for and held in much in the same way you hold space for and care for others. In the community circle, we pause we get quiet and turn inward. With curiosity, we create mind space, we connect to our collective breath, we meditate and amplify our self care. And the way I open the space is largely guided by the energy of the season and the moon cycle. And the way we co create the space is based on each of our individual needs and our commitment to showing up vulnerably, messily and openly well as openly as we can in that moment because I can shift and change. And so this Friday, we're going to use the full moon energy from Sunday, and along with February's vibe to strengthen ties to winter practices that have been sustaining us and also create space for greater clarity and confidence as we move or continue to create new or emboldened steps on our way towards spring. Above all, my friend, I need to tell you this community circle, it's a place to put your shit down where ever burdens you're carrying around in that imaginary backpack of yours, they can be put down here for a little while. It's 30 minutes. And you don't even have to ask for permission as you do with your friends and family to first check in to see if they have the capacity for you to put your stuff down with them. This space is open for you to walk through the door with no questions asked and immediately put the backpack down. So I hope you'll join me this Friday, February 10 at 12:30pm Eastern 9:30am Pacific, there's a sliding scale pricing that's offered which begins at $5. And there's also a free option so no one will be turned away for lack of funds. You can head to www dot Steff gallante.com/community circle so c o m m u n i t y dash c IRC L E to register and I've also included the links in the show notes as well. And I love it if you would invite your friends to come along. Now before we bring this conversation to a close, I need to offer a few more considerations for self trust. Because you know me and my style. The truth is you can hear and learn new info all you want, you can be reminded of great info you already know. But it's the considering the inquiring and the exploring within yourself that creates a space or place for this information to reside in, in a way that allows it to be drawn upon into action. So here we go. Society often says that self trust is consistently staying true to yourself. Well, if that's true, that requires you to deeply know and understand who the fuck you are, and what you stand for, and therefore what you don't stand for. I'd also like to add that consistently staying true to yourself does not mean that you are always consistently doing the same thing without checking in with yourself to see if this is what you need or desire in that moment. Let's not assume because you are a living, breathing, changing creature and your desires and needs will change. So check in and you know my stance on consistency and if you don't, well, please show up consistently but don't punish guilt or bypass yourself into it. And flexibility is key and not showing up one day To that practice does not mean you're not being consistent, it means that you didn't have the capacity, you're going to come back the next day. That's consistency. Now second thing I need to say, a big self, a big piece of self trust hinges on the understanding that you do not have to know everything, have all the answers or do things perfectly. The key is understanding you are enough, you can do hard and new things. And your effort is of value. You may not have the right answers right now, or any answers, but you have other lived experiences, other life experiences that may help you and you can always learn or figure it out, you can do that. Another thing to consider is that mistakes are not a failure, nor are they indicative of your value, or the value of your work. Perfectionism is a construct of white supremacy, culture and capitalism, and it's both false and bullshit. Our society's obsession with perfection is keeping us unwell. And feeling unsuccessful in so many areas of our life. Friend, it needs to stop with you. Lots of uncovering of the roots of these of perfection in our in our own personal lives. And healing needs to happen. So just because remember, this just because you made a mistake in the past does not mean you will again in the future in the same way or at all. And if you do make the same mistake, it doesn't mean you're shit, right? If you ever receive criticism for making a mistake, please remind the person that you are in fact human, you will make mistakes. Remind them also, you will work hard to make repairs and try not to make this exact one in the future. But do not let anybody make you feel like shit. And another thing to remember that is that failure does not mean success is no longer a possibility. If you aren't failing, I got to ask you, are you even trying? Let's be real society's absurd take on success and failure has got us feeling all kinds of self criticism, and even self loathing about failures and mistakes. As a result, it's easy to play it safe to avoid those awful feelings or the criticism from others because that shit feels awful. So please do me a favor. The next time your inner critic shows up. Please give it a compassionate middle finger. These are wise words from one of my beloved mentors Tristan cats. They said this recently and I loved it so much. And you can find them on Instagram at Tristan cats creative T ri sti NKTZC r e a t i v e. So my friends, failures and mistakes, they really, they can poke holes in our self trust you we can't let it because we have to remember that mistakes and failures. They're part of the process.
And that also brings me to regret, right because we can often have regret about the past. But this also undermined self trust. So if there are situations that you could have or feel like you should have handled better or differently, then take steps to put them into action, right to do things differently. You cannot change the past. But you can do your part to not repeat that in the future. You've got to let go over the regret, you can acknowledge where you went wrong. But then use it make peace with that. And then just move it forward. Again, not bypassing yourself, of course, acknowledging all the things that are there sitting with it, but to sit and regret and live with it and carry it. That's not going to service you at all. So talking though about the future, right? Unless you're clairvoyant and can see into the days and years Ed which if you are, yes, awesome. Please be aware of the energy you give to worrying about things that haven't happened yet. Especially the ones that are out of your control. You can control now and you can make preparations for the past, but worrying about the future to zero to change it. It depletes you of energy and trust right now and steals your joy and let's be honest friends, typically things do not turn out the way we expect. In a good way we often envision something much worse happening. It's rare. Not say impossible, but it's rare that things turn out as awfully as we expected it to. So my friend. If you find yourself in a rocky or murky place with self trust, be compassionate with yourself. Meet yourself with the utmost kindness, respect and understanding. This is the dirtiest foundation of self trust and healing. And know that it's an imperfect process, you will mess up, you will bypass and gaslight yourself, you will break your own trust. You can though you can repair it. And you can make your relationship with self trust better than it ever was. I encourage you to get really clear, to examine your self trust, notice how it feels and practice leaning into the ways where self trust feels natural and safe. And also actively explore the parts that don't begin to discern if this is a safety net thing or a dangerous thing. Right, because we can get really comfortable in what we know. And then when we try to do something new, it can feel really unsafe. But remember, unsafe because it's not our safety net, or in our box of you know, our comfort within our comfort combines that can seem dangerous to us. But is it really right is our well being in danger, you have to ask yourself. And the other thing I encourage you to do is, you know, if you've got trust issues that stem from past experiences, as hard and and emotional as that process may be, it's important to examine that relationship and where you are now from it. The effects of all those experiences, because remember, they are going to play out in now for you and the future. My friend as you continue your journey of reflecting on getting clear on what needs to shift and planning towards those steps of transformation. Or if you're already in the work of that, continue or please be gentle and tender with yourself. Let your passion and deep desires be known and fueled. I mean, all of these things are non negotiables. And one more thing, center rest, release rejuvenation and regeneration. Always you've got seven categories to choose from after all physical, mental, sensory, creative, emotional, social, spiritual, with tons of options in between them. So until next time, my friend please be kind and gentle to yourself just as you would those who are most precious to you, whether that's a human and animal, baby or plant. Take good care and stay connected and I always love to hear your thoughts about anything I've offered and the support I've provided in this episode. So please, please, please feel free to reach out and share. I am so grateful for you. You my friend are a badass and you are enough. Be well
