Part 2: Supporting Quality Play Relationships-Preschoolers

2:26PM Apr 30, 2024

Speakers:

Narrator

Priscilla W.

Dr. Sue Starks

Keywords:

inclusive child care

preschool play

social emotional skills

secure base

challenging behavior

co-pilot role

learning standards

whole child

social interaction

play-based learning

self-regulation

attachment relationships

early childhood education

pandemic impact

friendship skills

Welcome to Inclusion Matters, a podcast about children's development from the Center for Inclusive Child Care.

Welcome to Inclusion Matters a podcast from the Center for Inclusive Child Care. I'm Priscilla Weigle, the executive director, and I'm here today with part two with our esteemed colleague and friend, Dr. Sue Starks, who is Professor of Education and also chair of the Early Childhood Department at Concordia University, St. Paul, and Sue, welcome back, we had a lively discussion about infants and toddlers in play. And now we get to talk about preschoolers.

Thank you, its good to be here.

All right. So when we think about play, and what needs to be part of play, what are some fundamental things that you want our listeners to be reminded of as they listen to these podcasts?

To me in general, I think when you think about kids playing it doesn't really matter, it looks and sounds and feels a little bit different depending on their age levels, but they're learning negotiation and communication in a huge way. Sharing spaces and sharing people and sharing materials and ideas. And you think about that thinking outside the box, and the problem solving all those are like life skill foundations that we want to give them. But when we think about the social emotional connections that play has, and the ability to to be a player, and to be a successful player, that feeds their self confidence, they kind of kind of gain a sense of who they are, they build relationships with peers, they build relationships with adults, they learn how to communicate, they learn how to negotiate, they learn how to problem solve.. And those are life skills, those are all things that are kind of tied to development and self regulation that we know self regulation process goes into, you know, your early 20s. So they're just at the very beginning of that journey. And I think that in order to make the gaines that we want to, we have to just make sure we have adults that are willing to step into that space as a co pilot to really kind of nurture that development. And that both of those skills all along sometimes I think, because there's so much curricular content that starts to come already in preschool, that teachers feel that they don't have time for that, because they have to get all to the literacy and the math and all these other content areas. But when kids are young, we can't lose sight of all those social emotional foundations that they're going to build on for the rest of their lives. And if we do those, what I call the first things first, it's kind of like, if you're building a house, that would be your basement and the foundation that they're going to need for the rest of their lives, I think we have to spend time and put time and energy into those areas, knowing well, that that's going to feed that child with their academic success as well.

Definitely. And I think, you know, when you think about the context of play, those kind of more cognitive skills can be built in to that place situation in such a beautiful way. And we really are giving kids an opportunity to practice being happy, healthy human beings in the context of comfortable play exploration and interaction with the guidance and support from that adult. And early in our conversation, in part one, you talked about attachment, having those attached relationships for those infants to and toddlers to, you know, go out and explore, but come back and touch base. As we think of preschoolers, that's still important to have that secure base as well.

Very, I think I often tell students in my classes that you have to be that safe person for them to follow on. And when we think in terms of preschools, especially because those that have this, I won't I won't veer off too far. But challenging behavior, that that need for them to have that safe person to fall on that they can trust is of paramount importance for them. And sometimes you as a teacher aren't going to raise your hand and jump up and down and say pick me pick me I want to be that person for you. But they you might be the person that that child picks. So we have to have to know that in regard to that. But for preschoolers, they still need that they develop within the context of that relationship, and they still need you to be there for them, they need to trust that, you know, I can go off on my own and I like to do things on my own. I like to do things with peers, but there are times when I am going to want to have that kind of closeness and just be by you and to know kind of sense that you're there for me and that that doesn't go away and relationships, I work with college students and that does it doesn't go away. The need for relationships, and the importance of them in the learning process does not go away regardless of the age of the student. So..

Right, that's that's great. That is yeah, it's I'm sure that the interesting for you to watch to the process that all of your that your students are going through as far as they're gaining skills and tools as they interact together within the context of learning, just as preschoolers are within the context of play learning, you know, how to be that human being. As we think about setting the stage for play. One thing that was I was pondering with as you were talking about kind of that secure base relationship, you know, it really is hard for a child who might have some behaviors that challenge us as adults, you know, they're trying to communicate. But if we have a child that does have some of the exhibit some of those behaviors, it's really hard for them to get the practice that they need in play, because they're constantly being unsuccessful. And so they're not racking up those quality connections, for building that foundation.

I think what's really when we go back to relationships sometimes those kiddos that have the challenging behavior are, they are going to make that relationship a little bit challenging. But I think, if we realize how important we are to those kids, we're going to be willing to step into that space and to be that person for them because they, all of your kids need you. But those could really, really, really need you. Because they're kind of at the cusp of being kind of sometimes ostracized from being part of the classroom community because of the their behaviors that they're not able to control. So they're, they're not always sought out by others to be an interactive play partner, they don't know how to enter into play, they don't know how to negotiate into play. So they really, like you mentioned, they're missing out on all those experiences that are really part of building play skills, but they don't, they don't have, they're not able to enter into those, the context of play, to be able to learn from that. And that's why I think teachers really need to step into that role as a co pilot and just be there and help them kind of maneuver through that. So if we notice that little one that's kind of on the sideline, just watching. And they seem to be sending the message that they want to enter into the dramatic play area or into the block area, but they really don't know how, even for that little one, giving them the language, having them kind of step back to say, what is it that the kids are doing? And what role could you play in that sometimes giving them the language to say, hey, can I play with you, sometimes the little ones that you know, the block towers up, and, their pattern is to go knock it down, because that's the only way that they want to say, hey, I'm gonna play with you to pause them. So that again, you can kind of scan the situation and get a feel for what it is that's going on. And then try to find the entrance point. So again, giving them maybe language to use giving them an approach or strategy to try to get an in road in there without having to crash everything down, which we know is going to crash and burn the possibility of them being an active play partner of what was going on.

Right. And it goes back to what we talked about in part one is just that noticing, seeing, listening, listening with your eyes and your ears, knowing the kids in your group, knowing what they need, knowing their likes and dislikes. It's a it's a big job. It's a big job in early childhood educator, and to also in the midst of all of that, making sure that you're setting up opportunities, especially at the preschool level, that are going to provide those learning, skill developing, you know, experiences for kids. And so when you think about learning standards, and all of those words that we have to keep in mind, what what can you, what are you telling your students in the classroom as you're helping them prepare for the real world out there, and a lot of them are in the real world working currently as well. So what kind of things are you discussing as far as essential experiences and ways to set up their environment so that it's really conducive to learning through play?

I think one of the biggest aha is for our students is always the reality that in the context of play, kids can learn language, and they can learn math, and they can learn social studies, and they can learn science and they you know, there's all those content area connections that can come to life in play. If we know our learning standards. And for preschool, we use the ECIP's in Minnesota, but even in kindergarten into their primary grade levels, if you know the learning standards that you are accountable for, for whatever grade level that you teach, that they just outline what it is that we're supposed to be teaching, they don't mandate how we teach it. So you have the creativity and you have the wherewithal to think outside the box to say, hey, we can get at this these cluster of math standards by hands on sensory related interactive small group stations that kids are going to be interacting with and learning those things. If we know how to take that learning standard. break it apart into the context of play, that then some powerful things can happen. And I think for our students, when that aha happens for them, that's pretty powerful because they do get overwhelmed sometimes. Some of them that are in programs and others that here is the reality of what it's like to be a preschool teacher to kindergarten teacher, and then they have all these like, exorbitant amount of standards that they're supposed to be accountable for. And they're like, oh, I'm a new teacher. And I'm just trying to like make sense of it all. But I think when they understand that, that can happen in play, if we align the concept and skill for the standard to what it is that we're doing, either in the station in our center, or a play area, or small group activity that we're going to be doing with kids or a large group activity that we're going to be doing with kids, whatever the case may be, just knowing our standards well enough to say, but this can look like this, and it can live within play, I think is really, really powerful. The other thing that I was try to really hit home with them is that that social emotional phase and development is really part of whole child learning. So teaching and learning, we think of like that whole child and the whole being and all of their development, and social emotional, as part of that. That doesn't go away when kids you know, go out of preschool into kindergarten and into first, second, third grade. And that social emotional base, again, because it's tied to self regulation, that continues to develop all the way through past high school. So we have to give attention to that. We can't be the teacher that says I don't have time to deal with this. So they're gonna have to either know it or they have to go into kindergarten and they're gonna have to learn it there and the kindergarten teacher is more than likely is going to say, these kids should learn this in preschool, I don't have time to focus on this, I have all this other content to get going on. So I think if we, if we don't lose sight of the fact that social emotional as part of whole child teaching and learning, that's really, really helpful for students as well. I think I feel like that's one thing I give my students. And the other thing is, is when you're setting up your environment, there's usually always areas for kids to naturally interact. So there are places for kids to go to be by themselves, which is totally fine. And they need to have those times space to do that. But there are areas and things for them to do, where they can maybe just do it with one buddy, maybe they do it with three or four kids, maybe there's something that you're going to set up and go into an area that's going to kind of be conducive to bringing that along. But they're, they're always in situations, maybe they don't always want to be but, like man, they come into a classroom and they automatically have to share space and materials and teachers and, and there's that whole notion that they know how to do that. And some of them do and some don't. So if your kids don't know how to do it, that has to become part of our curriculum on a day in and day out basis to teach those social emotional foundations.

Yes. And one thing too, that we've been hearing a lot about, especially since the pandemic that was, you know, it affected the entire world. And children born during that time, and growing up during that time, missed some critical opportunities for that social emotional practice. And we're seeing the outcomes of that and the impact of that now, it seems, in more and more early childhood settings. Reminding folks that instead of saying, well, these children didn't learn this, and like you were saying, I don't have time to teach it because I got to plow ahead and keep making sure that I'm ticking all my boxes to go back and say, okay, what did they miss? And how can I take what I typically maybe would be putting in the preschool classroom, but building in some of those toddler experiences for some of the children in my care, because they didn't have an opportunity to practice. And so it's not that magically, they're going to be able to flip a switch, and have all these skills, they still have to have opportunities to practice those things. And that's, again, the beauty I think of the early childhood setting is the way we can cultivate and set up the environment to do just that, because we do have, we have the understanding of what you're saying the you know, the very beginnings, those foundations of lifelong learning. At the social emotional level, is it's so important.

When we think of kids that are, you know, kind of learning, if you want to call them as, as friendship skills or whatever I mean, because I've talked to so many cooperating teachers since the pandemic and doesn't really matter what age level the kids are at. I mean, you I noticed that a lot with the primary level teachers were because kids weren't in preschool and didn't get any anything that was player social related, and kindergarten. Now these kids are like in second, third grade. And they're kind of a mess, because they don't know how to do some of those basic things. But for the really, really good teachers that I talked to, they they're going to back the truck up and say, hey, you know, we know they miss these opportunities. So we're not just going to, we can't just give them an orange tic tac to say, Hey, these are all the things that you didn't develop. So here have this and you'll, you'll get up to speed. We have to build on those opportunities. And I think sometimes when I go into classrooms to just in general, especially in kindergarten where you'll have teachers that are frustrated or challenged by certain things that their kids aren't able to do. Like they can't line up and stand by each other without you know poking each other and touching each other, they don't have an attention span of more than one. And then I'll ask I'll say, well look at your schedule and your your day work, where do they where are they able to practice the skills that you feel that they're lacking. And then the light bulb goes on. And the teachers like, they don't get time to practice and they don't get those experiences. And if we don't do that when kids are little, it gets harder and if we do a really, really good job at as preschool and we take those first. Even within your elementary we'll talk about like the first six or eight weeks of school of kind of how you set those things up your classroom community. Part of that is the social emotional foundations and the friendship skills. So if we spend that time during those first weeks of schoolwork, kids are just kind of acclimating to what is it looking like and feeling like to be in a classroom with a whole bunch of other little people that are new to me. And now I have to share materials and space and the teacher and all these things. We have to give them that time and space. But we also have to have a very proactive, intentional plan to move forward. So that we are identifying the skills that we that we know, typically, kiddos are going to need to develop. But then we're also being very tuned in to the kids that might be struggling in different ways. And we're saying they're showing me, because their behavior will show us what it is that they're struggling with either that they developmentally aren't able to do what it is that we're asking them to do, or we haven't taught them, we haven't taught them how to do it, and they don't know how to do it. So if we look at them for that, that developmental need and kind of that, again, that's a process and they're all going to be kind of growing into it, some of your kids are going to be like shining stars when they come into your classroom. And they'll be the models of behavior. And you're gonna have kids all the way across a spectrum of very, very low kind of friendship skills all the way up to the ones that exceed and everything in between. But we've got to bring them all along and allow the ones that are shining stars to continue to grow, but really build the skills for those little ones that are struggling, because then they're not going to learn it by osmosis, it has to be something that we're willing to invest in for them.

Yeah, with Oh, yes, I agree wholeheartedly. It's just exciting to think about the opportunities that await children in a childcare setting, whether it's, you know, a classroom that's in a center, or at a family childcare, or it's in, you know, kindergarten as they move on to school, but there's that educator who really is taking the time to see them as that individual human being. And taking note of those needs and their the way they're communicating and how they're showing with their behavior, how they're feeling about something that we've presented as that leader in the classroom, you know, and it's just, it's so exciting. And as I said earlier, it's a lot to be thinking of all the time. But I think, too, if it's always in the forefront, that that social, emotional, foundational piece, the skills in play, the ability to be an interactive player, in a classroom setting with your peers, is going to be something that you're going to need, you know, and you don't have to be, we're not saying everyone has to be extroverted, and you know, someone that they're not, but every child does need to learn how to navigate the social world. And we provide those opportunities for practice through play.

Yeah, very much. So. And I think, again, if we're, if we kind of are very tuned in to the skills that we know, we need to develop identifying those skills, and then coming up with a plan saying, you know, what, they're having a hard time taking turns or sharing. So we read stories about that we do puppet plays about that, we do role modeling about that we do like a story about that large group, but then we spin that off, and we do something in small group that relates back to what they just did in large group. So they have kind of have a smaller audience, and you can get at some of those individual things that they need. But where the rubber hits the road is during their choice time in their play time. That's when they really, really need us in that copilot seat, to be there to watch, to give them the language, to give them the strategies,, to have them try something out, to help them kind of think of problem solving solutions. But then they try it out. And maybe it works. And maybe that's wonderful, maybe it doesn't work. So they come back to us and we kind of regroup and we do some problem solving again, they go out and they try another strategy. But if we're not an active part of that, that isn't just going to automatically happen. I think we do a disservice for kids when we don't spend the time and and the energy on those social emotional skills because really, that's life skills. And that's going to allow them to have success throughout their academic lives as students but as well into adulthood. So I jokingly say it helps us as adults learn how to zipper merge, because we aren't so good at that one word adults.

Exactly. Oh, what a great way to end our time together. Dr. Sue Starks thank you so much from Concordia University St. Paul. For our conversation on Play for infants and toddlers and part one and preschoolers and part two, it's always fun to talk with you. I know we'll have you back for other things because you're passionate about a lot of stuff. So I look forward to those further conversations. Thanks, Sue for being here.

Thank you for the opportunity.

Thanks for listening. For more resources, visit us at inclusive childcare.org