Let's see if we have got any questions from the audience. Says here thanks Kim Foong for sharing straight from your heart. What was the one thing that kept you going throughout your chemo sessions while giving care for your parent at the same time?
You know, this morning I was reading through my diary of my journey. And I read one of the days, I actually wrote that - I think was my first or second chemo - that I have to fight through because I want to live. At that point, I realise right when you have something to fight like, I don't want to leave my mom, I don't wanna leave a partner, I don't want to leave my nephews and I still have so much things that I want to do. Okay, this is not enough but of course if God wants to take me away it's a different story. But I still want to fight there's still so many things I want to do, so many things I want to give back to society. So that actually triggers me right, I still want to fight, I want to live and I want to do more. Yeah, so it's very important to actually have, what do you say, something more that you want to live for. So in case just for example I don't have a family, I'm alone and things like that - even if that I told myself, there's just so much more I want to do. And if I survived there's so much more I can give back to the society.
Wow. Okay. Is there any more questions that we have? You are an inspiration Kim Foong. Stay strong cause you are loved.
Thank you, thank you. I think all of us are very strong. Just that we don't know it. But when we actually are faced with obstacles and things like that, I think naturally, we just push ourselves to be strong and battle it.
Yeah, I think - and especially to find out about this C word right. I think earlier on, you mentioned that the first one was you couldn't accept like, why me and it's impossible. So, I think you've also shared with me that you have had a healthy lifestyle but then after that you got to work. So, it doesn't matter if you were healthy earlier on, but the moment - at that moment when you have got quite a lot of stress and work maybe you just focus through maybe that part where you were healthy and how you got into the whole -
Okay. So, two years back before that I was very healthy. I actually eat quite clean. Okay, and I do a lot of exercise. I like to do body combat, I like to go hiking and I like to run so it was like a weekly affair that it was so consistent. And then work became more stressful. And then I became unhappy. So like what you said, it's not because all this while you have been healthy, you are secure. That it will never happen to you. I think that was actually running behind my head that thinking, you know, it won't happen to me you know I've been so healthy. I don't - I don't drink, I don't smoke so I was like I shouldn be safe what. Family no histroy also what. But like what my doctor actually told me, when you are unhappy, you are stressed, your body actually triggers yourself to the cancer cell because everyone has cancer cells in them. So it actually triggers your cancer cell like hey time to attack you. So it was like that because with the cancer in me, it couldn't have happened, like, two days ago or two years ago. With the size it was - the tumour, it would have been in my body more than 5 years ago. But what I would strongly say that my healthy lifestyle, my exercise actually helped to suppress it. Yes, I guess because you're - when you run - like you are very active right when you exercise and when you're hyper, your happy cells - what do you call your happy cells?
Endrophin
Yes, exactly. So, that actually goes up so it actually suppress your cancer cell that's what I believe in. So same advice from the doctor, be happy, enjoy your life, do what you want. So what is not happy, eliminate and put it aside. As much as you can, try to control it.
Okay, do we have anymore questions?
What you are doing is so amazing continue your exercise because you are so active. So that's what I'm starting now. I'm starting to do my body combat at home again.
Oh, nice.
Yes, because before this I really have no strength at all. So now I started my lessons online - so I do my body combat online. So I want to be like what I was before. So for me is always not challenging others but challenging myself. Yes.
Actually, before we answer that question, Kim Foong you are so inspirational and strong. Thank you so much for sharing. Do you view life differently now? How your priorities have changed compared to before?
That's a very good question. Honestly, yes my perspective in life has definitely changed. Before this, I was more into work - work, work, work - making excuses, everything is about work, there's no time for anything, even for my family. So for now, thing's change. It's about me first, my family and then work. So, that's never a - I will never believe in work-life balance I believe in work-life integration. So to find a job that you feel that what I feel that I can give back to society, you know from before I always feel that a company should not always be all about profit. It should be about giving back to people, to the society, to the planet, right. So, yes, this definitely changed my perspective in life. So what I will do moving forward whether my life, my job - it will always be what I believed in before to give back to people in the society. But this time I'm going to aim on doing that. Before it's different, I was thinking that you know I'll find the job that gave me the package, you know, I go for it first and I climb my way up and things like that, but this time I will look at it differently.
Yeah. So I have probably just wanted to share a little bit also because it just occurred to me that you were in the school band. We were in the school band together.
Yes [laughs]
And I guess that's where we got the - you got the tenacity from, the discipline.
Oh yes.
Because we would be marching under the sun.
Thinking back of that right. We started at 5 something in the morning until like the whole day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I think maybe -let's see we've got about half an hour, maybe if there is this one thing you want to tell people out there, whether if they're battling with anything at all. What would that advice be?
Like I said, first thing when we are battling with anything right, for example, sickness. First thing is to get our self checked out. Okay I'll relate back to breast cancer. It's very important to have self checking, going for our annual checkup. And then once we have all that done, do not avoid it. So lots of people when they actually have their test results and everything where they know it's bad, but I put it aside, you see. So what we should do is continue, get the report and continue the consultation and get it solved. Not full stop after checking. So, for example I give back the example on myself. I actually did self checking and also checked by my GP. But what happened was my tumour was not near to the breast side but nearer to my armpit side. So it was above, it was hidden up there.
Oh, okay.
So I guess when GP check you right they don't really check above and below your armpit. And then I was 39, which normally we are advised to do mammogram at 40, but again - another thing we could do is also when you're going to do your blood test to ask for cancer marker test. So that will actually help you to check whether any triggered or not. And what's happened is always have a healthy lifestyle, a balanced lifestyle. As much as we all, not everyone loves to exercise - the heat and sweat and things like that, but I think maybe half an hour exercise a day of any kind of movement is good enough. And now I am trying to eat less meat. Not because my doctor actually advised me on any diets. But I feel that it would actually better cleanse my body. Okay, and try to be as happy as much as I can, do what I like to do, not wait until tomorrow. Cause I think all of us, we have a wish list. Yeah, okay. And then we say that. Later la, tomorrow, next year, not free la. Okay work la and now pandemic la. So I believe that when we can we should do what we want to do. Yes.
That is - that's a very good advice I'll make sure that I -
Look at your wish list now.
Yeah, to not postpone anything.
Yes. Correct.
Do we have any more questions? Uh, Sarah. Thank you for sharing Kim Foong. Whilst giving care to your parents and also caring for your own self, how do you juggle that time? To know when to prioritise care for yourself and when to provide care for her?
Good question, because at the time when I was very down. I have to say the priority was for myself first. Good thing that I have my aunts and uncles - relatives around me and then also good caretaker. So I could rest and take care of myself first so the priority will to be myself because if I am not well, no matter how I go and see my mom. I will probably spread some germs to her or herself to me because my immune system was down. So priority I always believe, to care for ourselves first. Okay, and then when we feel okay and there's an urgency, then I got to see my mom. I have to prioritise it like that, she - if she calls me often, I can't run to her all the time. I have to tell myself that I have to accept it myself - it was difficult for me when my mom called me and I can't see her. Okay, but I have to tell myself my immune system is down, if any germs comes to me, I probably don't need to see them anymore. The end. So, yes, us ourselves first and then for the people that we care for.
Okay. I don't know how I'm feeling because I think at the same time, I'm so happy that you know you came up victoriously here, you know, out of this battle.
Thank you.
It's definitely not easy, and I hope up, mom, aunt is um, better.And I hope that, knowing that you have fought so well and came up victoriously from this battle. She knows that she has brought you up well because you know -
I have to state honestly. I really have to thank my mom because my mom is a very strong woman. Okay, so I guess I get some of the genes for her. Okay, so the stubbornness from her that do not want to give up. So, yes and from school bands and I guess, you, you know in school we have a bunch of us that are very tough you see. So this upbringing was actually - I'm very thankful for that.
Actually you're right, I think it's, nurture, at the same time I think it's also nature.
Correct.
Okay, Melanie Chan. Great sharing Kim Foong. Did you encounter anything or anyone special during all those times you spent in the hospital?
Oh, I am very fortunate when I was in the hospital so often I had amazing doctors, amazing nurses. and I'm more of a friendly, talkative person. So during chemo, you know, you're there for 16 times and at hospital most of days. I met many new nurse friends. I met quite a few of chemo friends. And when was - when I was admitted, even my breast surgeon brought me to see other patients to talk to them. So, yes, I met lots of amazing fighters and warriors. Before this I actually never met any breast cancer patients. Then I realised there are so many of us, even my - some of my close friends that actually never spoke to me about it when we're having it at the same time.
Oh.
You see, this is something that I realised I didn't want to talk about because she told me that she was worried that I got worried and I told her the same thing, I didn't want to tell you, because I was worried that you would be worried. We're having it few months apart, at the same time, at the same diagnosis.
Wow, okay.
Exactly.
Do you think that, you know, if you knew that a friend of yours, who is also going through the same stage. The encouragement for one another would have helped you recover a lot faster?
Yes, because one thing we all realise is when we try to talk to non-cancer patients, it's actually very tough for both parties. It's difficult for us to tell the other party how we actually feel when we don't even know actually how we feel. And we can't blame the other party of not knowing how to care for us or knowign exactly how we feel. So if we have like cancer friends, cancer patients who actually went through it, and also going through together, we actually kind of comfort each other. Yes, another thing that when I was diagnosed after my surgery, my breat surgeon actually sent the Breast Cancer Welfare Association person to see me. Yes, to comfort me and to tell me that she's also a survivor and it's okay. But when she saw me after the surgery she told me, you'll be fine. I said why? You're aready eating like nothing happened. Then I said I'm very thankful that the surgery went well, it wasn't that painful. So, I love to eat, so I was just, I woke up and I was just eating when she visited me. So yes, if we could, you know, open up to talk, open up to ask around even with the chemo patients around you, talk to them because they are feeling exactly how we feel - fear, don't know whether to talk to you - but when you start talking, you have this special connection that we understand each other and how to console each other.
I suddenly have this bizzare idea that you know maybe you can maybe visit some of our cancer, cancer care recipients.
Of course.
Yeah, because I think just knowing that there's someone out there who has, you know, won the battle. I think it would encourage them.
Yes, and also because there was so many side effects during chemotherapy, I had the same fear which I'm sure many cancer patients had too. Is this side effect is okay ah? Is it normal? It's like, the backache is so bad that we question ourselves is this normal then we have like, fatigue, like really bad fatigue, even I have nosebleeding that I asked my doctor, are you sure it's normal? Kept having nosebleed all the time and even in your fingers - black fingers. So, if we could actually advise patients in advance just like what the BCWA did for me, it will actually calm the patient down more. Yes. So, I always - luckily I had a group of cancer friends so I asked them, is this normal? She'd say it's normal. My hands started to ache so badly because of neural issues after the chemo and they toled me it's normal. So I get more secure like, okay it's normal. Then I get like very bad cold sweat at night, until one point that my sheets was actually drenched. It was so bad that I got like I feel like is this normal?Then they told me it's normal. Yes. So, actually, two days ago I actually registered under BCWA to be a volunteer counsellor, so I will be going for my classes next month for it.
Nice, nice. So it's BCWA is Breast Cancer -
Welfare Association.
Okay nice. So then it's just a hotline that they call to ask for help.
Yes, they have Facebook and Instagram. There's also a hotline to call in case you want any counselling or anything like that.
Okay. Is there any more questions? Nisha Andrea. Thank you so much for sharing your life story Kim Foong, you are definitely an inspiration to all women out there Kim Foong. What did you do to navigate your emotions? How long did it take you to build up your confidence.
Very good question on emotions, I might seem happy and positive now but there is always down time. I had my time when I wanted to give up too. I had my time that I cried so much that the feeling was, like, I told my partner. Now, I told him that I actually understand what it feels like sleeping on the bed and waiting to die. I actually told him that it was so bad that I was in bed for three days, I couldn't eat, I couldn't move back to him. What am I doing here, it just affects your brain so much that kind of like I just want to give up. It's - then he told me that it's okay to feel down it's okay to tell to talk out, to cry out but there has to be a time limit. You can't do this forever. So you cry out, shout out, anything you want your downtime, but there has to be a full stop. So, so I learned from that. I can't be down all the time, I give myself a break time to cry, like just a few minutes then I have to tell myself enough. Okay, go and find something to do, pray, read something watch a comedy, things like that, and count my blessings. So I learned before my sleep. I thank God for another day of a smooth battle. I wake up, I thank God for another day to see the sun again, you know to breathe. So, it actually changed my perspective too on how much I appreciate life even more. And, yes, that's how I navigate my emotions. I give myself a cut off time. So how long does it take, it's actually a continuous thing to get back my emotions back to normal, and also my confidence. Like what I was telling PC earlier. How did I get my confidence to take off my headscarf, actually it was because my head scalp started to itch. The hair was starting to grow back and it was starting to itch that I couldn't stand it and then - because the - one of the effects of chemo is you get like pre menopausal symptoms like hot flushes. So a bit of temperature change in the room I will start to sweat. So I told myself if, you know, cancer people like people who actually advocate cancer, they could shave off their hair and feel proud. Okay they shave off their hair and they still feel proud walking out. So as a cancer patient, that we are battling through and being a warrior, why should we feel shy walking out, being bald or, or without a headscarf? We should feel proud because every day that we battle through it, we actually went a step further and we are all a warrior. Hair will start to grow back, even though it's slow, but it will start to grow back. It's okay. It's just part of us.
I wish I can get somebody else to take over for a while. Yeah, yeah, I think it's true about - just be grateful that we have another day.
Yes, yes, Honestly, cause um, 3 years ago, I nearly died of anaphylaxis attack at the roadside, you see. And that also woke me up so when I got this cancer, like, you know what you say people, even myself will ask the first question, why me? but amazingly my doctor told me the first time I saw her don't ever ask yourself why me because no one could answer you -even she couldn't answer me. Only God knows. So that I put aside, I don't want to ask why me and torture myself. So but for me it's even more amazing because I nearly died 3 years ago, so this was already an amazing chance by God given to me. So there's no more why me all. It's all about you gave chance to me that I could still heal myself. I have amazing doctors, I have amazing medical around me, so fight. I shouldn't give up this chance that was given by God because it would be a waste of His power, His generosity to give me another day to fight through everything.
So, if I give up it would be something like, committing suicide -in a way. So, never give up, never give up the chance of being able to fight. Yes.
You're just so amazing Kim Foong.
I think every one of us are it's just that we don't know it yet. Until things come in front of us and we will all have a natural instinct to fight.
Okay, Hana. So much love for you Kim Foong. Now that you're cancer-free, what are you looking forward to doing most in the future?
Honestly I started to have a list, I started new messaging friends, and in other countries, okay in other states that I started to put down a list. And when I can start travelling I'll be travelling all these places to meet all my friends without any excuses. Okay. And like what I said earlier, the first thing that I started to do is exercise. I want to be like what I was before - very active in running. Because running give me a freedom because last time when I run it's because it set my mind free. It gives me so much happiness, it clears my mind so I want to build myself to that kind of strength again. And do my running. And I want to start hiking again.
Nice, nice. Next time when we, when I think it's a little bit safer out we'll go.
Correct. We'll do it together. Okay, I can't compete with you. I will run with you, I think you better be walking because that's my running speed.
If anything at all, we'll just do it together.
Okay, we'll walk together.
Yes. Oh my. Any more questions do we have? Okay. If - okay. Devy, such a powerpack inspiration. Thanks a lot to come out and share your cancer journey, you're not alone.
Thank you. We're all not alone. I think we, every one of us will have family and friends and even strangers around us, that will be happy and glad to assist and support each other.
Okay. I think that is all the time we have today. Thank you so much.
Thank you thank you. Thank you everyone.
Thank you for tuning in, and I think at least from my end, I've learned how to embrace or talk to somebody who is battling with anything at all, in this case of cancer. And I've also learned to make sure that I care for myself first before I can even care for -
Others -
My loved ones or others yeah. Thank you so much and you're such an inspiration.